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Being Judged for being a swinger
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Have any one of you swingers been judged for it!?
Today I have, my partner told one of his mates who told his gf.
I had a encounter with her today she did not speak a word to me and gave me dirty looks. I have told my partner off for telling his mate as I feel it's our business but Im more annoyed that she judged me x 
Minka x |
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She probably thinks you are after her man coz everyone knows that swingers are sex hungry sluts that will sleep with anyone right?
Don't let her preconceived prejudice get you down. You are having way much more fun than her  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree you should be annoyed at your bf, it's your business and if he's going to tell people then you should be consulted.
With regards to the woman just ignore her, people are judgemental and like to think they are better than someone else. This is just her angle. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I probably am, but the people that judge me for it are not the type of people that I want to be associated with anyway so, let em judge! Have been judged by people on here more tho I think  |
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You're right to be annoyed with your partner.
But at the same time, it's can be difficult for people who don't understand what it is all about. In some ways you could say you are judging her. She might be genuinely worried you are going to try to try an affair with her partner, or go out fucking in the local park every day etc etc.
Since she knows, maybe chat to her and re-assure her you are a normal person with a fun hobby, but it doesn't affect other parts of your life or friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is exactly why we haven't dared to tell anyone yet, maybe the older we get we may be less bothered about what people think. A lot of people seem to have the opinion of it that you walk in and immediately swap partners etc |
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By *m3232Man
over a year ago
maidenhead |
"Have any one of you swingers been judged for it!?
Today I have, my partner told one of his mates who told his gf.
I had a encounter with her today she did not speak a word to me and gave me dirty looks. I have told my partner off for telling his mate as I feel it's our business but Im more annoyed that she judged me x
Minka x"
She is upset as you are very sexy in your pictures and now a threat to all the men around her as you choose to sleep with people for fun.
That would put you at the top of my list to want to know you but sadly this is not the case with her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have any one of you swingers been judged for it!?
Today I have, my partner told one of his mates who told his gf.
I had a encounter with her today she did not speak a word to me and gave me dirty looks. I have told my partner off for telling his mate as I feel it's our business but Im more annoyed that she judged me x
Minka x"
She's just jealous she doesn't have as much fun as you. Don't worry about it. Just arrange a meet and have a good time. |
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"Have any one of you swingers been judged for it!?
Today I have, my partner told one of his mates who told his gf.
I had a encounter with her today she did not speak a word to me and gave me dirty looks. I have told my partner off for telling his mate as I feel it's our business but Im more annoyed that she judged me x
Minka x"
Never been judged , but then neither of us would dream of telling a mate what we do . |
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My mrs is scared to death of the thought of people knowing what we like to do (or should I say what we are trying to do) I personally don't care what people would think. I'm more than happy that my mrs has this side to her! I wonder if your friends have perved on your pics? lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably because she's jealous and not brave enough to have that conversation with her bf "
Or she thinks having sex with multiple people is disgusting and not something decent people would do. |
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Some of my friends know.
Some don't.
There's a few I know who would judge me because of things they've said/joked about previously, which tbh amuses me, they happily go out at weekends, pull a total stranger, take them home etc, and it's OK.
But chat to people online, actually get to know them, have some basic safety due to veris, having a social first.
They'd think that terrible behaviour! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"First week on here we had a guy tell L that i must not love her and he'd never let his gf do it. He didn't last long on this site"
I like the way people say allow someone to do something. |
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"Have any one of you swingers been judged for it!?
Today I have, my partner told one of his mates who told his gf.
I had a encounter with her today she did not speak a word to me and gave me dirty looks. I have told my partner off for telling his mate as I feel it's our business but Im more annoyed that she judged me x
Minka x"
Now you know where your friendship stands, she will come back curious bet she's researching online now |
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"Probably just jealous because you're having more fun in the bedroom than she is
My thoughts as well .....
And mine"
How on earth do any of us know that a total stranger is having less fun in the bedroom than anyone else?  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Probably just jealous because you're having more fun in the bedroom than she is
My thoughts as well .....
And mine
How on earth do any of us know that a total stranger is having less fun in the bedroom than anyone else? "
Non-swingers have shit sex lives. Didn't you know? |
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"Probably just jealous because you're having more fun in the bedroom than she is
My thoughts as well .....
And mine
How on earth do any of us know that a total stranger is having less fun in the bedroom than anyone else?
Non-swingers have shit sex lives. Didn't you know? "
 from what I read in the forum so do a lot of swingers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not everyone will understand the lifestyle. Some will judge. Your partner should learn the word discretion. It's your business what you do, nobody else's. You shouldn't have been put in that position to be judged. Just remember all the fun you are having and rise above it.
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"The only person who knows what we do is my friend of 30ish years and the only reason for that is he's got a long standing secret girlfriend. Mutual Assured Destruction."
An interesting auto correct there |
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"I agree you should be annoyed at your bf, it's your business and if he's going to tell people then you should be consulted. "
As an aside, isn't there a double standard here, guys get accused of bragging and lack of discretion if they tell their mates, yet girls seem to tell their friends EVERYTHING. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree you should be annoyed at your bf, it's your business and if he's going to tell people then you should be consulted.
As an aside, isn't there a double standard here, guys get accused of bragging and lack of discretion if they tell their mates, yet girls seem to tell their friends EVERYTHING. "
None of my girlfriends know I'm on fab. Only my fab girlfriends |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably just jealous because you're having more fun in the bedroom than she is
My thoughts as well .....
And mine
How on earth do any of us know that a total stranger is having less fun in the bedroom than anyone else? "
We don't hence the word "probably" it's quite probable that she has more fun although it's quite probable her issue is something else.... Who knows? |
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"Probably just jealous because you're having more fun in the bedroom than she is
My thoughts as well .....
And mine
How on earth do any of us know that a total stranger is having less fun in the bedroom than anyone else?
We don't hence the word "probably" it's quite probable that she has more fun although it's quite probable her issue is something else.... Who knows? "
You said she was probably jealous but stated that the op was having more fun in the bedroom. Hence my response. |
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By *wcwCouple
over a year ago
cheshire |
"Have any one of you swingers been judged for it!?
Today I have, my partner told one of his mates who told his gf.
I had a encounter with her today she did not speak a word to me and gave me dirty looks. I have told my partner off for telling his mate as I feel it's our business but Im more annoyed that she judged me x i dont understand ppl what dont say what they are thinking. You should have sait. Dont you fookin judge me. N so on. Always say what you think. Weather good or bad. Say what you think. Always. I do. N dont give a fook. But i dont insult.
Minka x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably just jealous because you're having more fun in the bedroom than she is
My thoughts as well .....
And mine
How on earth do any of us know that a total stranger is having less fun in the bedroom than anyone else?
We don't hence the word "probably" it's quite probable that she has more fun although it's quite probable her issue is something else.... Who knows? "
Okay you win I'll reword it
Probably just jealous as "she might think" you're having more fun in the bedroom than she is. Here have a snickers! better? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably just jealous because you're having more fun in the bedroom than she is
My thoughts as well .....
And mine"
Haven't you seen her profile..." the friends" |
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"Probably just jealous because you're having more fun in the bedroom than she is
My thoughts as well .....
And mine
How on earth do any of us know that a total stranger is having less fun in the bedroom than anyone else?
We don't hence the word "probably" it's quite probable that she has more fun although it's quite probable her issue is something else.... Who knows?
Okay you win I'll reword it
Probably just jealous as "she might think" you're having more fun in the bedroom than she is. Here have a snickers! better? "
I'd sooner have a large box of Smarties |
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"Have any one of you swingers been judged for it!?
Today I have, my partner told one of his mates who told his gf.
I had a encounter with her today she did not speak a word to me and gave me dirty looks. I have told my partner off for telling his mate as I feel it's our business but Im more annoyed that she judged me x
Minka x"
Maybe she just needs to be educated in what it's really like. What i thought about this lifestyle is miles apart. We all judge tings we don't fully understand |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being judged for your sexual preferences just goes with the territory. It's not likely to change anytime soon. It has got better but not by much. The trick is to be very careful who you tell or just don't get caught up in other people judgements. Your life is exactly that, your life.... |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"Have any one of you swingers been judged for it!?
Today I have, my partner told one of his mates who told his gf.
I had a encounter with her today she did not speak a word to me and gave me dirty looks. I have told my partner off for telling his mate as I feel it's our business but Im more annoyed that she judged me x
Minka x"
Yes.
My sister knows, think's I'm going straight to hell.
One GF somehow found out and has not let her husband go near me LOL
So in a nutshell, yes I have been judged.
You have it a bit WORSE because you're so young, have a fella and have a lovely figure (and quite likely are pretty) so in the eyes of some women you "have it all".
Do I care? Not one bit. But your fella was being a prick bragging to his m8 because he's sort of violating your privacy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree you should be annoyed at your bf, it's your business and if he's going to tell people then you should be consulted.
As an aside, isn't there a double standard here, guys get accused of bragging and lack of discretion if they tell their mates, yet girls seem to tell their friends EVERYTHING. "
Because we can keep a secret and don't go blabbing off to our partners. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex told his mates in his local we went to the local swingrs club. After that all of them seemed to think it was ok to feel me up every time we were on the bar. He encouraged it but I was annoyed as they had no clue, obviously thought if we were swingers I must want to fuck them all... well no cos it was a very dodgy bar. So dodgy that first time I went I asked where the female loos were. The barmaid went over to the male loo and turned the sign round so it said ladies!! My ex and I did not last very long... |
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"My ex told his mates in his local we went to the local swingrs club. After that all of them seemed to think it was ok to feel me up every time we were on the bar. He encouraged it but I was annoyed as they had no clue, obviously thought if we were swingers I must want to fuck them all... well no cos it was a very dodgy bar. So dodgy that first time I went I asked where the female loos were. The barmaid went over to the male loo and turned the sign round so it said ladies!! My ex and I did not last very long... "
That sounds like a 5 star establishment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm guessing she found out when her BF tried to convince her to swing with you guys....... is It possible that she thinks you were "in" on the "plot"?
Don't know what the soloution is though. ....
Good luck with the situation! |
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"Have any one of you swingers been judged for it!?
Today I have, my partner told one of his mates who told his gf.
I had a encounter with her today she did not speak a word to me and gave me dirty looks. I have told my partner off for telling his mate as I feel it's our business but Im more annoyed that she judged me x
Minka x"
I'm not ashamed of my swinging lifestyle.
Too many people hate what they don't understand.
You shouldn't be hurt by other people's opinion about your lifestyle... especially when you're not out there causing physical harm to anyone for any reason.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My ex told his mates in his local we went to the local swingrs club. After that all of them seemed to think it was ok to feel me up every time we were on the bar. He encouraged it but I was annoyed as they had no clue, obviously thought if we were swingers I must want to fuck them all... well no cos it was a very dodgy bar. So dodgy that first time I went I asked where the female loos were. The barmaid went over to the male loo and turned the sign round so it said ladies!! My ex and I did not last very long...
That sounds like a 5 star establishment. "
They called it a cocktail bar but I never saw so much as a cocktail sausage... seriously the roughest pub in Aberdeen lol they sold nips of Buckfast |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How do you know she was judging you?
Your bf may have told his mate you wanted to fuck his gf and she might be straight and feel uncomfortable.
He might have actually said he wants to fuck his mate's gf and she was feeling bad for you as your bf wasn't totally honest with you about what he told his mate.
They may be swingers too but discreet. She may have been quiet so she didn't 'out' herself to you in case your bf told the world about them too.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you for all your replies...
I'm looking forward to be invited to one of thier parties again and show them I am a normal person and not gonna jump on everyone haha.
Also if they bring up the subject just explain to them what it's all about...
Also did have a big word with my partner ...
Plus her bf is no Angel . He paid for sex whilst on hoilday and never told her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"think a lot of people think swingers clubs are just mad orgies - i know i did before i knew better - "
this & thank goodness I decided to find out for myself. Swinging is brilliant! Non-swingers are missing out  |
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"Thank you for all your replies...
I'm looking forward to be invited to one of thier parties again and show them I am a normal person and not gonna jump on everyone haha.
Also if they bring up the subject just explain to them what it's all about...
Also did have a big word with my partner ...
Plus her bf is no Angel. He paid for sex whilst on hoilday and never told her. "
nice you have plenty of ammo then if she wants to try to put you down or embaress you . |
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"Thank you for all your replies...
I'm looking forward to be invited to one of thier parties again and show them I am a normal person and not gonna jump on everyone haha.
Also if they bring up the subject just explain to them what it's all about...
Also did have a big word with my partner ...
Plus her bf is no Angel. He paid for sex whilst on holiday and never told her. nice, you have plenty of ammo then if she wants to try to put you down or embarrass you ."
=-------------------------------------------
Maybe they do have the Ammo, but the classy thing to do is both couples go out and talk about this like the adults they (supposed to be) are. The Genie is already out of the bottle, respect her (the other GF) for not sharing this POV but put away the myths that exist about the scene. Remaining friends should be No. 1 priority and regardless of the dirt, you have on them, bury it and leave it there. Nothing good will come of that and unless you want to destroy this friendship, somebody has to stop this potential back and forth mud-slinging, why not you.
Yes, you were wronged, but this started from your BF not them... A discreet word by you to the other woman's BF about his indiscretion could be whispered to him alone, just to say, let us leave it alone. And do just that. |
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"Thank you for all your replies...
I'm looking forward to be invited to one of thier parties again and show them I am a normal person and not gonna jump on everyone haha.
Also if they bring up the subject just explain to them what it's all about...
Also did have a big word with my partner ...
Plus her bf is no Angel. He paid for sex whilst on holiday and never told her. nice, you have plenty of ammo then if she wants to try to put you down or embarrass you .
=-------------------------------------------
Maybe they do have the Ammo, but the classy thing to do is both couples go out and talk about this like the adults they (supposed to be) are. The Genie is already out of the bottle, respect her (the other GF) for not sharing this POV but put away the myths that exist about the scene. Remaining friends should be No. 1 priority and regardless of the dirt, you have on them, bury it and leave it there. Nothing good will come of that and unless you want to destroy this friendship, somebody has to stop this potential back and forth mud-slinging, why not you.
Yes, you were wronged, but this started from your BF not them... A discreet word by you to the other woman's BF about his indiscretion could be whispered to him alone, just to say, let us leave it alone. And do just that."
being "classy" is completely subjective though as I'm sure there are plenty who would judge us all for as having no class simply for being on here so its irrelevant really.i see where you are coming from but I'm a realist.the people in question are in there early 20s and from the little iv read it seems they meet regularly with friends at vanilla parties so I'm afraid this little secreat won't stay as such for long espeshilly going buy the other girls reaction and the massive misconception of "swingers".i don't know where the boyfriends head was at bragging to his mate so agree with you there as I would be more than a little pissid off with him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I judge nobody and don't expect to be judged either. I would obviously chat to people who said to me that they swing. But it would make no difference to me If people are chatty with me I chat with them simples |
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"She probably thinks you are after her man coz everyone knows that swingers are sex hungry sluts that will sleep with anyone right?
Don't let her preconceived prejudice get you down. You are having way much more fun than her "
well said and so true  |
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The word judged and judgmental gets used quite a lot.
If somebody doesn't want to play with somebody for some reason, it doesn't necessarily make them judgmental people. They might be, but it seems to be becoming one of those words that get thrown around too easily. |
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"Probably because she's jealous and not brave enough to have that conversation with her bf
Or she thinks having sex with multiple people is disgusting and not something decent people would do. "
She needs to get a life then and leave people to theirs. We don't broadcast our extra-circular activities but neither are we ashamed of them. It's each to their own and if you don't like it, then don't get involved but certainly nothing gives people the right to judge!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I told my best friend that I was using this site and we had a argument as she said that all swingi_g couples are insecure and have attachment issues and are stuck in loveless marriages with filthy soulless perverts.All the single men that swing are seedy std ridden immature fuck boys and all the single women are just filthy slags with mental issues and have more dead seamen in them than the titanic.
That means she sees me that way now but the thing with those that judge something they know nothing about is that there own self importance blinds there judgement.
I don't think she realises that you can use a swinging site and still be picky and have morals.
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"Have any one of you swingers been judged for it!?
Today I have, my partner told one of his mates who told his gf.
I had a encounter with her today she did not speak a word to me and gave me dirty looks. I have told my partner off for telling his mate as I feel it's our business but Im more annoyed that she judged me x
Minka x"
Slap the bitch  |
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There are 3 friends that we've told about our swinging, and they are all fine and non judgemental.
One finds it incredibly hot actually. He wishes he could do it but his wife won't. One finds it quite matter of fact. One is just curious and asks a lot of questions.
Then there's a swinger friend (who has been swinging for 5 years with his wife. I have known him since I was 13. He knows too and obviously doesn't judge as he's a in the lifestyle himself.)
But... there's one more friend who I told when we opened up our marriage, and he was really judgemental. So I ended up telling him that we had closed back up again. Never even got as far as telling him we've been to swingers clubs, I cannot even imagine what his reaction would be!
Then he tried to back-track and say he wasn't judging... but he totally was.
Dodgy innuendos and stuff all the time, making fun of it, and so on. It made me feel really belittled actually.
After that reaction we decided not to tell anybody else. |
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