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"It's just a preference"
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When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it! |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference. |
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"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference."
But if you can't give any reason for the preference, there's no point answering the question when the poster is asking for reasons.
It makes me mad..
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference."
I've never tried Stilton but the look and smell puts me right off. It's my preference, not to try it.
I prefer Applewood to plain Cheddar.
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference.
But if you can't give any reason for the preference, there's no point answering the question when the poster is asking for reasons.
It makes me mad.."
So what reason should I give when it is actually just my preference not to fuck them? |
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"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference.
But if you can't give any reason for the preference, there's no point answering the question when the poster is asking for reasons.
It makes me mad..
"
It doesn't make much difference what the reason behind the preference is because they ain't gonna change it. |
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"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference.
But if you can't give any reason for the preference, there's no point answering the question when the poster is asking for reasons.
It makes me mad..
So what reason should I give when it is actually just my preference not to fuck them?"
There probably is a reason is there not. You don't choose who to fuck and who not to fuck completely randomly. |
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By *andACouple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference.
But if you can't give any reason for the preference, there's no point answering the question when the poster is asking for reasons.
It makes me mad..
"
Not really following what you mean with this reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference."
 Maybe that is their answer- that they can't explain it, it just 'is'.
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference.
But if you can't give any reason for the preference, there's no point answering the question when the poster is asking for reasons.
It makes me mad..
So what reason should I give when it is actually just my preference not to fuck them?
There probably is a reason is there not. You don't choose who to fuck and who not to fuck completely randomly. "
Sometimes I do. I'm a woman remember 
Seriously though, I never reply to a message that its my preference not to meet. I say I'm not in the mood. I do use the phrase on the forums though because the topics are usually about preferences. |
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"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference.
But if you can't give any reason for the preference, there's no point answering the question when the poster is asking for reasons.
It makes me mad..
So what reason should I give when it is actually just my preference not to fuck them?
There probably is a reason is there not. You don't choose who to fuck and who not to fuck completely randomly.
Sometimes I do. I'm a woman remember
Seriously though, I never reply to a message that its my preference not to meet. I say I'm not in the mood. I do use the phrase on the forums though because the topics are usually about preferences."
But my point is if someone says "why won't some women do anal" *to reply "it's a preference" is effectively just repeating the question. The question gives us the information some women prefer not to do anal. If it wasn't their preference not to do anal they would do it.
Nothing like a good semantic argument. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference.
But if you can't give any reason for the preference, there's no point answering the question when the poster is asking for reasons.
It makes me mad..
So what reason should I give when it is actually just my preference not to fuck them?
There probably is a reason is there not. You don't choose who to fuck and who not to fuck completely randomly.
Sometimes I do. I'm a woman remember
Seriously though, I never reply to a message that its my preference not to meet. I say I'm not in the mood. I do use the phrase on the forums though because the topics are usually about preferences.
But my point is if someone says "why won't some women do anal" *to reply "it's a preference" is effectively just repeating the question. The question gives us the information some women prefer not to do anal. If it wasn't their preference not to do anal they would do it.
Nothing like a good semantic argument. "
Its a variation on the only correct answer: because they don't want to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference.
But if you can't give any reason for the preference, there's no point answering the question when the poster is asking for reasons.
It makes me mad..
So what reason should I give when it is actually just my preference not to fuck them?
There probably is a reason is there not. You don't choose who to fuck and who not to fuck completely randomly.
Sometimes I do. I'm a woman remember
Seriously though, I never reply to a message that its my preference not to meet. I say I'm not in the mood. I do use the phrase on the forums though because the topics are usually about preferences.
But my point is if someone says "why won't some women do anal" *to reply "it's a preference" is effectively just repeating the question. The question gives us the information some women prefer not to do anal. If it wasn't their preference not to do anal they would do it.
Nothing like a good semantic argument. "
think my answer would be " mind your own business"!!! why push anyone on what the do/don't do? you can put your interests and look for matches  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I take the strange view that intelligent reasonable people can explain why they take certain actions and why they don't. My suspicion is that where people have no reason for their choices or their reasons are unacceptable in effect prejudices they use the word preference. The word preference soothes the conscience of the person in stating their choices.
I struggle with the conceptl that a preference is innate or subconscious rather than arising from socialised conditioning, or experience.
However be that as it may the preference or prejudice is to be respected. It is a fundamental liberty to be able to have a preference or prejudice without explaining it, unless you are responsible for allocating resources.
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Seems like we're in a minority, but we agree - saying it's a preference is stating the obvious.
Putting some words to the reason doesn't mean you feel you need to justify yourself to others. It just means that examining one's desires is sometimes a worthwhile task - "know thyself".
It also means that people are interested in others' preferences. They might be enlightening. It's partly why we read fiction and study psychology.
You don't have to abandon a belief just because you can't explain it - but wanting preferences to be examined is a fine preference in itself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it! "
if i ask you why you don't like a certain food and you say "I dont like the taste" you would find it bizzare for me to say "but why don't you like the taste" and then demand an explination for something that has not concious thought wouldnt you? |
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"Seems like we're in a minority, but we agree - saying it's a preference is stating the obvious.
Putting some words to the reason doesn't mean you feel you need to justify yourself to others. It just means that examining one's desires is sometimes a worthwhile task - "know thyself".
It also means that people are interested in others' preferences. They might be enlightening. It's partly why we read fiction and study psychology.
You don't have to abandon a belief just because you can't explain it - but wanting preferences to be examined is a fine preference in itself. "
So often on fab an explanation for a preference is almost demanded not because the person wants to try and understand it but because they want to criticise it. |
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"Seems like we're in a minority, but we agree - saying it's a preference is stating the obvious.
Putting some words to the reason doesn't mean you feel you need to justify yourself to others. It just means that examining one's desires is sometimes a worthwhile task - "know thyself".
It also means that people are interested in others' preferences. They might be enlightening. It's partly why we read fiction and study psychology.
You don't have to abandon a belief just because you can't explain it - but wanting preferences to be examined is a fine preference in itself.
So often on fab an explanation for a preference is almost demanded not because the person wants to try and understand it but because they want to criticise it. "
But no one is demanding anything. Some people might genuinely be interested in why people have certain preferences. If you don't want to explain why you have certain preferences don't reply to the question.
My point is that just saying you have the preference in question adds nothing to the discussion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes that expression irritates the hell out of me. Of course it's a 'just a preference' and the person asking the question knows very well it's 'just a preference'. But are not asking whether it's a preference or not, they are asking WHY it's a preference. Maybe the question needs rephrasing!
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems like we're in a minority, but we agree - saying it's a preference is stating the obvious.
Putting some words to the reason doesn't mean you feel you need to justify yourself to others. It just means that examining one's desires is sometimes a worthwhile task - "know thyself".
It also means that people are interested in others' preferences. They might be enlightening. It's partly why we read fiction and study psychology.
You don't have to abandon a belief just because you can't explain it - but wanting preferences to be examined is a fine preference in itself.
So often on fab an explanation for a preference is almost demanded not because the person wants to try and understand it but because they want to criticise it. "
it often does seem to be the case that someone asking for an explanation of a preference is just after an argument! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
if i ask you why you don't like a certain food and you say "I dont like the taste" you would find it bizzare for me to say "but why don't you like the taste" and then demand an explination for something that has not concious thought wouldnt you?"
Spot on. How can anyone explain what it is that turns them on. Why one thing does it and another doesn't. Why do people feel the need to understand other people's preferences when they probably don't understand them themselves. Overthinkers do my head in. There's no need. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I don't think anyone should explain their preferences unless they want to. Saying "it's my preference" should be enough."
I think when people put a question to the forum, the question is only aimed at those who are happy to answer the question. Nobody is asking anybody to explain someone they don't want or aren't able to explain. But I feel it should be taken as red that it is a preference. |
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"
So often on fab an explanation for a preference is almost demanded not because the person wants to try and understand it but because they want to criticise it. "
Or convince you to change it, because even though they don't meet it, you'll be missing out! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I don't think anyone should explain their preferences unless they want to. Saying "it's my preference" should be enough.
I think when people put a question to the forum, the question is only aimed at those who are happy to answer the question. Nobody is asking anybody to explain someone they don't want or aren't able to explain. But I feel it should be taken as red that it is a preference. "
well they do frequently Anyone who has a racial preference gets fucking lynched for it every few weeks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference.
But if you can't give any reason for the preference, there's no point answering the question when the poster is asking for reasons.
It makes me mad..
So what reason should I give when it is actually just my preference not to fuck them?
There probably is a reason is there not. You don't choose who to fuck and who not to fuck completely randomly.
Sometimes I do. I'm a woman remember
Seriously though, I never reply to a message that its my preference not to meet. I say I'm not in the mood. I do use the phrase on the forums though because the topics are usually about preferences.
But my point is if someone says "why won't some women do anal" *to reply "it's a preference" is effectively just repeating the question. The question gives us the information some women prefer not to do anal. If it wasn't their preference not to do anal they would do it.
Nothing like a good semantic argument. "
Would you prefer 'cos I dont want to' instead? If someone says they dont want to do something what gives you the right to know why? You are a stranger on a website. If you can't accept their answer of 'my preference' that is your issue not theirs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
So often on fab an explanation for a preference is almost demanded not because the person wants to try and understand it but because they want to criticise it.
Or convince you to change it, because even though they don't meet it, you'll be missing out! "
I laugh when people say you're missing out by having preferences. ..er no I'm really not. I'm meeting those I have a preference for and having a jolly nice time doing that thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
if i ask you why you don't like a certain food and you say "I dont like the taste" you would find it bizzare for me to say "but why don't you like the taste" and then demand an explination for something that has not concious thought wouldnt you?
Spot on. How can anyone explain what it is that turns them on. Why one thing does it and another doesn't. Why do people feel the need to understand other people's preferences when they probably don't understand them themselves. Overthinkers do my head in. There's no need. "
Well some people can explain their preferences. I am able to explain and discuss many of mine and am happy to do so. It may be overthinking, but if people enjoy that type of discussion then no harm is done. Those that don't enjoy those type of threads are not being asked to discuss their preference. On that basis we all have a preference for the things we like to discuss on the forums. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're over thinking it.
Instead of saying it's my preference I could use before I don't want to / I don't like it for example. All means the same thing in the end though doesn't it?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
if i ask you why you don't like a certain food and you say "I dont like the taste" you would find it bizzare for me to say "but why don't you like the taste" and then demand an explination for something that has not concious thought wouldnt you?
Spot on. How can anyone explain what it is that turns them on. Why one thing does it and another doesn't. Why do people feel the need to understand other people's preferences when they probably don't understand them themselves. Overthinkers do my head in. There's no need.
Well some people can explain their preferences. I am able to explain and discuss many of mine and am happy to do so. It may be overthinking, but if people enjoy that type of discussion then no harm is done. Those that don't enjoy those type of threads are not being asked to discuss their preference. On that basis we all have a preference for the things we like to discuss on the forums. "
So why isn't "it's a preference" an acceptable answer for those who have no reasons other than "it just is"? Why can't that be an answer? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm attracted to big stocky well built guys, I don't find slim ripped guys attractive. Do I know why? Hell no, it's just the way I'm programmed I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
if i ask you why you don't like a certain food and you say "I dont like the taste" you would find it bizzare for me to say "but why don't you like the taste" and then demand an explination for something that has not concious thought wouldnt you?
Spot on. How can anyone explain what it is that turns them on. Why one thing does it and another doesn't. Why do people feel the need to understand other people's preferences when they probably don't understand them themselves. Overthinkers do my head in. There's no need.
Well some people can explain their preferences. I am able to explain and discuss many of mine and am happy to do so. It may be overthinking, but if people enjoy that type of discussion then no harm is done. Those that don't enjoy those type of threads are not being asked to discuss their preference. On that basis we all have a preference for the things we like to discuss on the forums.
So why isn't "it's a preference" an acceptable answer for those who have no reasons other than "it just is"? Why can't that be an answer? "
For me it's because it's telling the OP what they already know. I regard it as a misunderstanding of the question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
if i ask you why you don't like a certain food and you say "I dont like the taste" you would find it bizzare for me to say "but why don't you like the taste" and then demand an explination for something that has not concious thought wouldnt you?
Spot on. How can anyone explain what it is that turns them on. Why one thing does it and another doesn't. Why do people feel the need to understand other people's preferences when they probably don't understand them themselves. Overthinkers do my head in. There's no need.
Well some people can explain their preferences. I am able to explain and discuss many of mine and am happy to do so. It may be overthinking, but if people enjoy that type of discussion then no harm is done. Those that don't enjoy those type of threads are not being asked to discuss their preference. On that basis we all have a preference for the things we like to discuss on the forums.
So why isn't "it's a preference" an acceptable answer for those who have no reasons other than "it just is"? Why can't that be an answer?
For me it's because it's telling the OP what they already know. I regard it as a misunderstanding of the question. "
I still like to know why in earth people want to know why people have preferences. Nosey b'stards!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're over thinking it.
Instead of saying it's my preference I could use before I don't want to / I don't like it for example. All means the same thing in the end though doesn't it?!"
you go make a thread/post about how you "don't like black people"...see how it goes.
people use preference as its neutral/shows the decision is on your side.
saying I like or dont like makes people think the issue is with the other person.
"I dont like black guys" -will bbw read as you're a massive racist.
"my preference isnt for black guys" -doesnt start a multithread flame war. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
if i ask you why you don't like a certain food and you say "I dont like the taste" you would find it bizzare for me to say "but why don't you like the taste" and then demand an explination for something that has not concious thought wouldnt you?
Spot on. How can anyone explain what it is that turns them on. Why one thing does it and another doesn't. Why do people feel the need to understand other people's preferences when they probably don't understand them themselves. Overthinkers do my head in. There's no need.
Well some people can explain their preferences. I am able to explain and discuss many of mine and am happy to do so. It may be overthinking, but if people enjoy that type of discussion then no harm is done. Those that don't enjoy those type of threads are not being asked to discuss their preference. On that basis we all have a preference for the things we like to discuss on the forums.
So why isn't "it's a preference" an acceptable answer for those who have no reasons other than "it just is"? Why can't that be an answer?
For me it's because it's telling the OP what they already know. I regard it as a misunderstanding of the question.
I still like to know why in earth people want to know why people have preferences. Nosey b'stards! "
because a person's preferences open them up for ad hominem attacks which are the staple way people win arguments on the internet.
and the more you get them to try and explain themselves the more you have to twist |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
if i ask you why you don't like a certain food and you say "I dont like the taste" you would find it bizzare for me to say "but why don't you like the taste" and then demand an explination for something that has not concious thought wouldnt you?
Spot on. How can anyone explain what it is that turns them on. Why one thing does it and another doesn't. Why do people feel the need to understand other people's preferences when they probably don't understand them themselves. Overthinkers do my head in. There's no need.
Well some people can explain their preferences. I am able to explain and discuss many of mine and am happy to do so. It may be overthinking, but if people enjoy that type of discussion then no harm is done. Those that don't enjoy those type of threads are not being asked to discuss their preference. On that basis we all have a preference for the things we like to discuss on the forums.
So why isn't "it's a preference" an acceptable answer for those who have no reasons other than "it just is"? Why can't that be an answer?
For me it's because it's telling the OP what they already know. I regard it as a misunderstanding of the question.
I still like to know why in earth people want to know why people have preferences. Nosey b'stards!
because a person's preferences open them up for ad hominem attacks which are the staple way people win arguments on the internet.
and the more you get them to try and explain themselves the more you have to twist"
Or it's a preference to be nosey and inquisitive. I'm guilty of that one - love knowing what makes people tick. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
if i ask you why you don't like a certain food and you say "I dont like the taste" you would find it bizzare for me to say "but why don't you like the taste" and then demand an explination for something that has not concious thought wouldnt you?
Spot on. How can anyone explain what it is that turns them on. Why one thing does it and another doesn't. Why do people feel the need to understand other people's preferences when they probably don't understand them themselves. Overthinkers do my head in. There's no need.
Well some people can explain their preferences. I am able to explain and discuss many of mine and am happy to do so. It may be overthinking, but if people enjoy that type of discussion then no harm is done. Those that don't enjoy those type of threads are not being asked to discuss their preference. On that basis we all have a preference for the things we like to discuss on the forums.
So why isn't "it's a preference" an acceptable answer for those who have no reasons other than "it just is"? Why can't that be an answer?
For me it's because it's telling the OP what they already know. I regard it as a misunderstanding of the question.
I still like to know why in earth people want to know why people have preferences. Nosey b'stards!
because a person's preferences open them up for ad hominem attacks which are the staple way people win arguments on the internet.
and the more you get them to try and explain themselves the more you have to twist
Or it's a preference to be nosey and inquisitive. I'm guilty of that one - love knowing what makes people tick. "
Luckily I never feel the need to explain myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my experience, people tend to ask "why aren't you into such and such" not as a point of interest, but so that they can punch holes through my choices and tell me I'm wrong/missing out or that they're an exception. I do tend to politely point out that it is my personal preference. Most of them take that as a polite version of 'naff off', which is handy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whilst I respect your noble quest for truth and answers, I would suggest that a more worthy crusade would be to focus on the vociferous minority that attack and villify people for posting their preferences or opinions..... the judgemental personal attacks that we sometimes see on here offend me far more than someones innability to clearly define or comunicate the reasons behind their prefferences....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whilst I respect your noble quest for truth and answers, I would suggest that a more worthy crusade would be to focus on the vociferous minority that attack and villify people for posting their preferences or opinions..... the judgemental personal attacks that we sometimes see on here offend me far more than someones innability to clearly define or comunicate the reasons behind their prefferences....
"
And probably goes some way to explain some people's lack of desire to explain their preferences. |
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Sorry, but no one owes anyone an explanation. If someone can't accept that and that people have preferences, I would question if swinging is for them. This is supposed to be fun not hard work and justification. Also bear in mind it might be an easy and non offensive way of letting people down, rather than risk hurting them with the truth e.g 'I find you ugly' etc |
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In many cases people's reasons for preferences are assumed and any alternative explanation rubbished.
For instance its always assumed that we don't kiss casual sex partners because it's too intimate, we have jealousy issues etc etc. A simple denial coupled with it's just our preference is met with disbelief and the suggestion that we are just hiding from the truth.
The majority (and of course I exclude present company) of people who question others preferences on here do so to attract others with the same preference and exclude those whose preferences differ and they are frequently very rude about it. It's pointless trying to explain something to someone whose agenda doesn't include understanding.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if the reply is, "the thought of fucking X makes me feel sick"?
I'd think this will be the answer in many cases.
Would that go down well?"
I think that's a great way of answering a question it that's how something makes you feel. For example the thought of glory holes makes me feel that way, so if the forum discussion was about why some people don't like glory holes, i think people would have a better understanding of what makes me tick, if I explained that it made me feel sick than if it's just my preference.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it! "
Why does anyone have to explain anything to you or to anyone else?
- Mrs. J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Why does anyone have to explain anything to you or to anyone else?
- Mrs. J -"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Why does anyone have to explain anything to you or to anyone else?
- Mrs. J -"
They don't need to explain anything. It's optional whether to contribute to a forum thread where a question is posed. I would only contribute to such a thread if I was interested in discussing my thoughts on the subject.
Mrs |
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Lots of people are misunderstanding what I am getting at here.
I am talking about people who post a question on the forum asking why people do or don't like something. No one is demanding anyone reply to that question or saying that anyone has a right to an answer.
My point is that if you can't explain why you do or don't like something other than to say "it's a preference" you are adding zero to the discussion. The original questioner knows that some people have that preference and all you are doing is repeating the question back to him.
If you think the question is a veiled attack on your preferences or an attempt to talk you round the solution is to ignore the question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of people are misunderstanding what I am getting at here.
I am talking about people who post a question on the forum asking why people do or don't like something. No one is demanding anyone reply to that question or saying that anyone has a right to an answer.
My point is that if you can't explain why you do or don't like something other than to say "it's a preference" you are adding zero to the discussion. The original questioner knows that some people have that preference and all you are doing is repeating the question back to him.
If you think the question is a veiled attack on your preferences or an attempt to talk you round the solution is to ignore the question. "
Totally agree with you |
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Why does anyone have to explain anything to you or to anyone else?
- Mrs. J -"
They don't. Just as if I ask if anyone knows any good clubs in Milton Keynes no one has to reply to that question either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of people are misunderstanding what I am getting at here.
I am talking about people who post a question on the forum asking why people do or don't like something. No one is demanding anyone reply to that question or saying that anyone has a right to an answer.
My point is that if you can't explain why you do or don't like something other than to say "it's a preference" you are adding zero to the discussion. The original questioner knows that some people have that preference and all you are doing is repeating the question back to him.
If you think the question is a veiled attack on your preferences or an attempt to talk you round the solution is to ignore the question. "
I see what you're saying but I think a lot of people have explained why they can't answer 'truthfully'.
I'll answer the next (applicable to me) preference thread with "because it makes me feel sick" and I'll see how that goes down.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if the reply is, "the thought of fucking X makes me feel sick"?
I'd think this will be the answer in many cases.
Would that go down well?
I think that's a great way of answering a question it that's how something makes you feel. For example the thought of glory holes makes me feel that way, so if the forum discussion was about why some people don't like glory holes, i think people would have a better understanding of what makes me tick, if I explained that it made me feel sick than if it's just my preference.
Mrs"
I will do. |
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"Lots of people are misunderstanding what I am getting at here.
I am talking about people who post a question on the forum asking why people do or don't like something. No one is demanding anyone reply to that question or saying that anyone has a right to an answer.
My point is that if you can't explain why you do or don't like something other than to say "it's a preference" you are adding zero to the discussion. The original questioner knows that some people have that preference and all you are doing is repeating the question back to him.
If you think the question is a veiled attack on your preferences or an attempt to talk you round the solution is to ignore the question.
Totally agree with you "
Thanks man what is fascinating is that this has touched a bit of a sore nerve for some which is a bit strange. If you can't or don't want to explain a preference that's fine and no one has ever suggested otherwise. |
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"Lots of people are misunderstanding what I am getting at here.
I am talking about people who post a question on the forum asking why people do or don't like something. No one is demanding anyone reply to that question or saying that anyone has a right to an answer.
My point is that if you can't explain why you do or don't like something other than to say "it's a preference" you are adding zero to the discussion. The original questioner knows that some people have that preference and all you are doing is repeating the question back to him.
If you think the question is a veiled attack on your preferences or an attempt to talk you round the solution is to ignore the question.
I see what you're saying but I think a lot of people have explained why they can't answer 'truthfully'.
I'll answer the next (applicable to me) preference thread with "because it makes me feel sick" and I'll see how that goes down.."
If you like or you could just ignore the thread.
Take a concrete example. There are far far more couples with bi women than with bi men. I think it's a very interesting subject as to why that is. If I raise that question, men might reply and say that's because the thought of sex with a man makes them feel sick. I am sure that's a honest answer but it doesn't take the general subject much further.
It seems very unlikely that the discrepancy between bi men and bi women is purely down to individual preferences and its probably connected with all sorts of social and historical reasons. Discussing those reasons is, to me, very interesting. Others won't find them interesting. Wouldn't such people be best off with ignoring the discussion? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Examples of questions that I might've interested in answering and my answers.
'Why don't some people anal sex?' 'It's hurts me'
'Why dont some people like glory holes' 'I dislike anonymity and want to see to see the man'
'Why do so many women want tall men' 'it turns me on to have a man towering above me and I feel big and unfeminine if they are shorter than me'
'Why do people go for a certain body shape' 'I usually find skinny men a turn off and can't explain why'
When an OP asks a question I assume they want a discussion and to understand people better. I will try and give them that if I am interested in the thread. I don't feel I would be adding anything to the discussion if I answered all those questions with 'just my preference'. The OP will already know it's some people preference, so they don't need to be told that again.
Mrs
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Why does anyone have to explain anything to you or to anyone else?
- Mrs. J -
They don't need to explain anything. It's optional whether to contribute to a forum thread where a question is posed. I would only contribute to such a thread if I was interested in discussing my thoughts on the subject.
Mrs"
The OP did not state that the query was on a forum
We have many preferences and we are not prepared to explain why, as in a club, people may be offended by the answer that "it makes us feel sick"
- Mrs. J - |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
I think what I've learned from this thread is that some people prefer to explain their preferences while others have a preference not to. It's all good, no one *has* to answer anything.
However, I prefer to have people answer the actual question posed. I'm going to live dangerously here:
1) This is a forum.
2) There are many threads
3) One does not have to comment on every thread.
*gasps of horror from the gallery at the heresy*
If there's a thread about why some women don't want anal (to use the OP's example) and I thought to myself 'well, it often hurts/gives me sharty wind for hours after/I can't cum from it/I'd be worried they'd cross back to the vagina and potentially give me a UTI/it's too much faff...but I don't feel comfortable opening up debate on any of that for reasons x, y or z', then I wouldn't bother commenting.
Honestly, if all you can add to a forum thread is to avoid the question asked, why not just move on to the next thread?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I take the strange view that intelligent reasonable people can explain why they take certain actions and why they don't. My suspicion is that where people have no reason for their choices or their reasons are unacceptable in effect prejudices they use the word preference. The word preference soothes the conscience of the person in stating their choices.
I struggle with the conceptl that a preference is innate or subconscious rather than arising from socialised conditioning, or experience.
However be that as it may the preference or prejudice is to be respected. It is a fundamental liberty to be able to have a preference or prejudice without explaining it, unless you are responsible for allocating resources.
"
Thank you for expressing so clearly the point about each person's right to make their own choice - we totally agree with you xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think what I've learned from this thread is that some people prefer to explain their preferences while others have a preference not to. It's all good, no one *has* to answer anything.
However, I prefer to have people answer the actual question posed. I'm going to live dangerously here:
1) This is a forum.
2) There are many threads
3) One does not have to comment on every thread.
*gasps of horror from the gallery at the heresy*
If there's a thread about why some women don't want anal (to use the OP's example) and I thought to myself 'well, it often hurts/gives me sharty wind for hours after/I can't cum from it/I'd be worried they'd cross back to the vagina and potentially give me a UTI/it's too much faff...but I don't feel comfortable opening up debate on any of that for reasons x, y or z', then I wouldn't bother commenting.
Honestly, if all you can add to a forum thread is to avoid the question asked, why not just move on to the next thread?
"
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"Examples of questions that I might've interested in answering and my answers.
'Why don't some people anal sex?' 'It's hurts me'
'Why dont some people like glory holes' 'I dislike anonymity and want to see to see the man'
'Why do so many women want tall men' 'it turns me on to have a man towering above me and I feel big and unfeminine if they are shorter than me'
'Why do people go for a certain body shape' 'I usually find skinny men a turn off and can't explain why'
When an OP asks a question I assume they want a discussion and to understand people better. I will try and give them that if I am interested in the thread. I don't feel I would be adding anything to the discussion if I answered all those questions with 'just my preference'. The OP will already know it's some people preference, so they don't need to be told that again.
Mrs
"
Some people do start threads wanting discussion and in an attempt to understand people better but very many don't. Many of the threads asking why people don't like things are really saying "I like X and Y if you don't too you're wrong". The language used and refusal to accept other preferences doesn't encourage discussion or promote understanding or acceptance of diversity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Okay OP I see what you're getting at now.
I've answered in the past exactly why I didn't like XYZ (I think it was dogging ) & have been ripped a new one
So it's depends on the question as to how I answer, I may tell exactly why I don't like something or I may say it's my preference. |
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"Okay OP I see what you're getting at now.
I've answered in the past exactly why I didn't like XYZ (I think it was dogging ) & have been ripped a new one
So it's depends on the question as to how I answer, I may tell exactly why I don't like something or I may say it's my preference."
As I say, I find it difficult to understand why people contribute at all if all they can say is what the OP has already stated - that some people have a preference for the subject of discussion. |
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By *wingsingMan
over a year ago
Berkshire/London |
"I take the strange view that intelligent reasonable people can explain why they take certain actions and why they don't. My suspicion is that where people have no reason for their choices or their reasons are unacceptable in effect prejudices they use the word preference. The word preference soothes the conscience of the person in stating their choices.
I struggle with the conceptl that a preference is innate or subconscious rather than arising from socialised conditioning, or experience.
However be that as it may the preference or prejudice is to be respected. It is a fundamental liberty to be able to have a preference or prejudice without explaining it, unless you are responsible for allocating resources.
"
Very eloquent. I very much agree with this.
For me it is interesting to understand the reasons behind the preference but I fully respect the right of the person to leave it at "it's my preference". Having a sense of curiosity without being offended is something that is not always easy to do but I feel we learn more about ourselves and others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I take the strange view that intelligent reasonable people can explain why they take certain actions and why they don't. My suspicion is that where people have no reason for their choices or their reasons are unacceptable in effect prejudices they use the word preference. The word preference soothes the conscience of the person in stating their choices.
I struggle with the conceptl that a preference is innate or subconscious rather than arising from socialised conditioning, or experience.
However be that as it may the preference or prejudice is to be respected. It is a fundamental liberty to be able to have a preference or prejudice without explaining it, unless you are responsible for allocating resources.
"
Very well said.
I (Mr Spice) am straight through the way I have been socialised, lifelong conditioning and choice....but isn't that the answer to everyone's preferences?
The only time a preference should be explained is if it has a detrimental effect on the reasonable rights or opportunities of another individual.
Nobody has a reasonable right to sexual play with anyone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I take the strange view that intelligent reasonable people can explain why they take certain actions and why they don't. My suspicion is that where people have no reason for their choices or their reasons are unacceptable in effect prejudices they use the word preference. The word preference soothes the conscience of the person in stating their choices.
I struggle with the conceptl that a preference is innate or subconscious rather than arising from socialised conditioning, or experience.
However be that as it may the preference or prejudice is to be respected. It is a fundamental liberty to be able to have a preference or prejudice without explaining it, unless you are responsible for allocating resources.
"
Thank fuck, you and OP make interesting points. Was losing hope. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a preference for men taller than myself. I have no idea why I have this preference, but I do
But I am not 'prejudiced' against short men. I just never wanted to date them and I don't want to get physically intimate with them
NO explanation required, at all!!!
- Mrs. J - |
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"Seems like we're in a minority, but we agree - saying it's a preference is stating the obvious...
Putting some words to the reason doesn't mean you feel you need to justify yourself to others..
It also means that people are interested in others' preferences.
..often on fab an explanation for a preference is almost demanded, not because the person wants to try and understand it, but because they want to criticise it. "
Totally agree with all your points. |
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This is where racism and preference really get in a mess. We both like to chat and socialise with all sorts of friendly people. But we don't find Afro-Caribbean or Asian people, of both sexes, physically attractive. As physical attraction is the basis for sexual contact it is a corner stone of life.
Are we being racist by identifying one ethnic group or another or are we just exercising our personal preference. Or should we list all our likes and dislikes,( long noses, men with dyed hair, genital piercings, football supporters, Brummie and Scouse accents, people who eat garlic, Volvo drivers, the list goes on) in order to appease the politically correct group. You can see how it all gets ridiculous when we try to define preference.
Why cant people accept that as members of the human race we are all different and then move on.
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I know what you mean.start a thread looking for a discussion and all you get is "preference" like they think It means more than saying "just because" lol.to me it just comes acros that they have some sort reason to be vauge as if what they really want to say is going to be offensive and not socially acceptable which is just stupid.for instance when it comes to the whole I don't meet bi guys because "preference" when really they should just be honast and say i get the boak at the thought of blokes cocks up another dudes ass.absolutely nothing wrong in feeling that way and atleast people will then understand your opinion.infact I'm going to replace the word preference and when someone starts a thread im gona reply "bacon" it's equally as pointless lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it! "
Try explaining why you prefer one song to another, or why you prefer certain food tastes to another. We don't have to explain to anybody 'why' we prefer certain things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Try explaining why you prefer one song to another, or why you prefer certain food tastes to another. We don't have to explain to anybody 'why' we prefer certain things. "
If people don't want to explain why they don't like something, or they can't explain why they don't like something nobody is forcing them to do so. These threads that ask people to discuss their preferences are entirely optional, and are only aimed at those who do want to discuss the reasons for their preferences.
Mrs |
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Try explaining why you prefer one song to another, or why you prefer certain food tastes to another. We don't have to explain to anybody 'why' we prefer certain things.
If people don't want to explain why they don't like something, or they can't explain why they don't like something nobody is forcing them to do so. These threads that ask people to discuss their preferences are entirely optional, and are only aimed at those who do want to discuss the reasons for their preferences.
Mrs"
I agree with that. The threads that genuinely want to discuss people's preference for a certain thing with the aim of reaching a greater understanding should be respected as such. However as I said before most threads started enquiring about certain preferences are couched in emotive language that is designed to steer the discussion towards criticism of the people that enjoy (or not) the particular thing being discussed.
If someone starts a thread saying something along the line of "I'm genuinely interested in understanding why people enjoy having their earlobes nibbled." They are more likely to get explanatory replies. However if they say "why on earth would anyone want their earlobes nibbled. Ewwww I just don't get it. Explain" the response will be very different.
Mind you, both will get their fair share of "it's a preference" and in an open forum I think that should be accepted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Try explaining why you prefer one song to another, or why you prefer certain food tastes to another. We don't have to explain to anybody 'why' we prefer certain things. "
Exactly
There is no rhyme or reason why I prefer a nice steak over a curry. Plenty of people eat curry but I cannot stand the smell of it. Next thing, I'll be called a racist because I don't like some ethnic minority foods. What a strange world we live in now
- Mrs. J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Try explaining why you prefer one song to another, or why you prefer certain food tastes to another. We don't have to explain to anybody 'why' we prefer certain things.
If people don't want to explain why they don't like something, or they can't explain why they don't like something nobody is forcing them to do so. These threads that ask people to discuss their preferences are entirely optional, and are only aimed at those who do want to discuss the reasons for their preferences.
Mrs
I agree with that. The threads that genuinely want to discuss people's preference for a certain thing with the aim of reaching a greater understanding should be respected as such. However as I said before most threads started enquiring about certain preferences are couched in emotive language that is designed to steer the discussion towards criticism of the people that enjoy (or not) the particular thing being discussed.
If someone starts a thread saying something along the line of "I'm genuinely interested in understanding why people enjoy having their earlobes nibbled." They are more likely to get explanatory replies. However if they say "why on earth would anyone want their earlobes nibbled. Ewwww I just don't get it. Explain" the response will be very different.
Mind you, both will get their fair share of "it's a preference" and in an open forum I think that should be accepted."
Yes I have learnt the hard way, that I need to add a disclaimer along the lines of 'I'm genuinely curious' if I am to ask a question to the forum. This seams to reduce the snippy comments by people who would otherwise assume I'm being judgemental by me asking a question. A few forum questions are being deliberately controversial, but I think not as many as people think, and I think the benefit of the doubt should be given to people that they are only asking out of interest. |
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Try explaining why you prefer one song to another, or why you prefer certain food tastes to another. We don't have to explain to anybody 'why' we prefer certain things.
Exactly
There is no rhyme or reason why I prefer a nice steak over a curry. Plenty of people eat curry but I cannot stand the smell of it. Next thing, I'll be called a racist because I don't like some ethnic minority foods. What a strange world we live in now
- Mrs. J -"
 I prefer curry as I like a bit of spice with my food.there you go a resonoble reply.don't you think that is a better reply and actually contributes to a thread rather than "just because " or "preference" its genuinly pointles.if you fear being judged or don't want to explain yourself then why even comment on the thread as there are plenty other threads you could enjoy an actual disscusion on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have noticed though that 'preference' is a word has been adopted by the swing scene. If someone were to ask me in regular life why I don't like mushrooms I would first assume they were making conversation. I would not assume they were challenging me. If I'm not in a conversational mood I might say 'I just don't like them'. If I am imthe mood for conversation I might say 'I like the taste, but I don't like the texture'. If I were in a belligerent mood I would say 'I can't stand the texture as they remind me of slugs'. But how bizarre would it be if someone said 'why don't you like mushrooms?' and I replied 'it's a preference'. I have honestly never heard this expression used when discussing preferences that are not sex related. I guess that's why I don't really understand the expression.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Try explaining why you prefer one song to another, or why you prefer certain food tastes to another. We don't have to explain to anybody 'why' we prefer certain things.
Exactly
There is no rhyme or reason why I prefer a nice steak over a curry. Plenty of people eat curry but I cannot stand the smell of it. Next thing, I'll be called a racist because I don't like some ethnic minority foods. What a strange world we live in now
- Mrs. J - I prefer curry as I like a bit of spice with my food.there you go a resonoble reply.don't you think that is a better reply and actually contributes to a thread rather than "just because " or "preference" its genuinly pointles.if you fear being judged or don't want to explain yourself then why even comment on the thread as there are plenty other threads you could enjoy an actual disscusion on."
This was an example of a preference, not a point to argue that an explanation about spices is required
I don't know why I don't like the smell of curry; I just don't
Asking people to explain preferences is a pointless excercise
I don't like heavy metal but I like classical music. Now, some asking me "why" will receive an answer that it is what I prefer
People post on threads where they have a differing point-of-view; we are not all clones of you
- Mrs. J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's simple. They just don't want to enter into a discussion of their likes and like-nots. Putting it out there up front should kill it dead. It doesn't always but it should imo. "
So why don't they just ignore the thread if they don't want to discuss their preferences. Why would they want to kill a thread dead when others might enjoy the discussion? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Try explaining why you prefer one song to another, or why you prefer certain food tastes to another. We don't have to explain to anybody 'why' we prefer certain things.
Exactly
There is no rhyme or reason why I prefer a nice steak over a curry. Plenty of people eat curry but I cannot stand the smell of it. Next thing, I'll be called a racist because I don't like some ethnic minority foods. What a strange world we live in now
- Mrs. J - I prefer curry as I like a bit of spice with my food.there you go a resonoble reply.don't you think that is a better reply and actually contributes to a thread rather than "just because " or "preference" its genuinly pointles.if you fear being judged or don't want to explain yourself then why even comment on the thread as there are plenty other threads you could enjoy an actual disscusion on.
This was an example of a preference, not a point to argue that an explanation about spices is required
I don't know why I don't like the smell of curry; I just don't
Asking people to explain preferences is a pointless excercise
I don't like heavy metal but I like classical music. Now, some asking me "why" will receive an answer that it is what I prefer
People post on threads where they have a differing point-of-view; we are not all clones of you
- Mrs. J -"
Are we saying that people should not pose preference related questions to the forum, on the basis that such questions can't be answered and are therefore pointless to bring it up in the first place? |
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Try explaining why you prefer one song to another, or why you prefer certain food tastes to another. We don't have to explain to anybody 'why' we prefer certain things.
If people don't want to explain why they don't like something, or they can't explain why they don't like something nobody is forcing them to do so. These threads that ask people to discuss their preferences are entirely optional, and are only aimed at those who do want to discuss the reasons for their preferences.
Mrs
I agree with that. The threads that genuinely want to discuss people's preference for a certain thing with the aim of reaching a greater understanding should be respected as such. However as I said before most threads started enquiring about certain preferences are couched in emotive language that is designed to steer the discussion towards criticism of the people that enjoy (or not) the particular thing being discussed.
If someone starts a thread saying something along the line of "I'm genuinely interested in understanding why people enjoy having their earlobes nibbled." They are more likely to get explanatory replies. However if they say "why on earth would anyone want their earlobes nibbled. Ewwww I just don't get it. Explain" the response will be very different.
Mind you, both will get their fair share of "it's a preference" and in an open forum I think that should be accepted.
Yes I have learnt the hard way, that I need to add a disclaimer along the lines of 'I'm genuinely curious' if I am to ask a question to the forum. This seams to reduce the snippy comments by people who would otherwise assume I'm being judgemental by me asking a question. A few forum questions are being deliberately controversial, but I think not as many as people think, and I think the benefit of the doubt should be given to people that they are only asking out of interest. "
I think you're right. But if you're asking for people to be given the benefit of the doubt when asking a question I think you need to accept that for some the genuine response will be "it's my preference" and those people should be given the same benefit of assuming that it's not always an aggressive answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Try explaining why you prefer one song to another, or why you prefer certain food tastes to another. We don't have to explain to anybody 'why' we prefer certain things.
If people don't want to explain why they don't like something, or they can't explain why they don't like something nobody is forcing them to do so. These threads that ask people to discuss their preferences are entirely optional, and are only aimed at those who do want to discuss the reasons for their preferences.
Mrs
I agree with that. The threads that genuinely want to discuss people's preference for a certain thing with the aim of reaching a greater understanding should be respected as such. However as I said before most threads started enquiring about certain preferences are couched in emotive language that is designed to steer the discussion towards criticism of the people that enjoy (or not) the particular thing being discussed.
If someone starts a thread saying something along the line of "I'm genuinely interested in understanding why people enjoy having their earlobes nibbled." They are more likely to get explanatory replies. However if they say "why on earth would anyone want their earlobes nibbled. Ewwww I just don't get it. Explain" the response will be very different.
Mind you, both will get their fair share of "it's a preference" and in an open forum I think that should be accepted.
Yes I have learnt the hard way, that I need to add a disclaimer along the lines of 'I'm genuinely curious' if I am to ask a question to the forum. This seams to reduce the snippy comments by people who would otherwise assume I'm being judgemental by me asking a question. A few forum questions are being deliberately controversial, but I think not as many as people think, and I think the benefit of the doubt should be given to people that they are only asking out of interest.
I think you're right. But if you're asking for people to be given the benefit of the doubt when asking a question I think you need to accept that for some the genuine response will be "it's my preference" and those people should be given the same benefit of assuming that it's not always an aggressive answer."
That's true, it goes both ways |
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If we're talking about preference for looks/body type etc with regard to fab - I think most of us - those who are 'nice' anyway - are just trying to come up with a way of turning people down without making them feel like shit!
If anyone knows of one which always works I'd love to hear it! Xx |
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Try explaining why you prefer one song to another, or why you prefer certain food tastes to another. We don't have to explain to anybody 'why' we prefer certain things.
Exactly
There is no rhyme or reason why I prefer a nice steak over a curry. Plenty of people eat curry but I cannot stand the smell of it. Next thing, I'll be called a racist because I don't like some ethnic minority foods. What a strange world we live in now
- Mrs. J - I prefer curry as I like a bit of spice with my food.there you go a resonoble reply.don't you think that is a better reply and actually contributes to a thread rather than "just because " or "preference" its genuinly pointles.if you fear being judged or don't want to explain yourself then why even comment on the thread as there are plenty other threads you could enjoy an actual disscusion on.
This was an example of a preference, not a point to argue that an explanation about spices is required
I don't know why I don't like the smell of curry; I just don't
Asking people to explain preferences is a pointless excercise
I don't like heavy metal but I like classical music. Now, some asking me "why" will receive an answer that it is what I prefer
People post on threads where they have a differing point-of-view; we are not all clones of you
- Mrs. J -"
I don't like the smell is a far better answer that the reader can understand and engage in.much better than just saying preference dont you think?.I don't understand the whole we are not all clones of you because all I'm looking for is a resonoble disscusion with people who want to interact.surly the clones would be the ones that repeat "preference"lol. |
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Try explaining why you prefer one song to another, or why you prefer certain food tastes to another. We don't have to explain to anybody 'why' we prefer certain things.
Exactly
There is no rhyme or reason why I prefer a nice steak over a curry. Plenty of people eat curry but I cannot stand the smell of it. Next thing, I'll be called a racist because I don't like some ethnic minority foods. What a strange world we live in now
- Mrs. J - I prefer curry as I like a bit of spice with my food.there you go a resonoble reply.don't you think that is a better reply and actually contributes to a thread rather than "just because " or "preference" its genuinly pointles.if you fear being judged or don't want to explain yourself then why even comment on the thread as there are plenty other threads you could enjoy an actual disscusion on.
This was an example of a preference, not a point to argue that an explanation about spices is required
I don't know why I don't like the smell of curry; I just don't
Asking people to explain preferences is a pointless excercise
I don't like heavy metal but I like classical music. Now, some asking me "why" will receive an answer that it is what I prefer
People post on threads where they have a differing point-of-view; we are not all clones of you
- Mrs. J -
Are we saying that people should not pose preference related questions to the forum, on the basis that such questions can't be answered and are therefore pointless to bring it up in the first place?"
Everything has a reason. You might not know the reason for a particular preference, but even if you don't, some of us find it interesting discussing possible reasons.
Obviously, and for the millionth time, those who aren't interested in discussing this have no obligation to take part in the discussion. |
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"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference.
But if you can't give any reason for the preference, there's no point answering the question when the poster is asking for reasons.
It makes me mad..
"
I have a life so don't get mad at first world problems, but I understand where you're coming from. I  at "small breast women say hello" type threads and the watermelon sized breast women post "that's not me then  " type responses.
Needy or what?!! |
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it! "
I'll join the revolution lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
I'll join the revolution lol "
We would say it's a preference.
Why?
Because it probably doesn't come across, as rude as,"none of your bloody business"
Like everyone on fab,we would hate to be thought of as rude  |
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
I'll join the revolution lol
We would say it's a preference.
Why?
Because it probably doesn't come across, as rude as,"none of your bloody business"
Like everyone on fab,we would hate to be thought of as rude "
honast question.if you think a thread where someone is asking a question is none of their business then why even comment on it by saying preference.it's the equivalent of saying "just because" it's pointless and contributes nothing.if anything that could be considerd rude lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
I'll join the revolution lol
We would say it's a preference.
Why?
Because it probably doesn't come across, as rude as,"none of your bloody business"
Like everyone on fab,we would hate to be thought of as rude "
So the expression 'it's a preference' could be a polite way of saying 'it's none of your business'. That's an interesting thought. Is it none of someones business to ask the forum at large why people might like or dislike something? Maybe that's what this issue is - some simply find certain forum questions too intrusive or nosey.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're over thinking it.
Instead of saying it's my preference I could use before I don't want to / I don't like it for example. All means the same thing in the end though doesn't it?!
you go make a thread/post about how you "don't like black people"...see how it goes.
people use preference as its neutral/shows the decision is on your side.
saying I like or dont like makes people think the issue is with the other person.
"I dont like black guys" -will bbw read as you're a massive racist.
"my preference isnt for black guys" -doesnt start a multithread flame war."
When someone mention race as being a preference, you usually get the pc brigade lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
I'll join the revolution lol
We would say it's a preference.
Why?
Because it probably doesn't come across, as rude as,"none of your bloody business"
Like everyone on fab,we would hate to be thought of as rude honast question.if you think a thread where someone is asking a question is none of their business then why even comment on it by saying preference.it's the equivalent of saying "just because" it's pointless and contributes nothing.if anything that could be considerd rude lol."
Then I'm rude.
I can live with that.
I'm sure you can to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The "it's a preference" is just a flippant counter remark to avoid the inquisitor enquiring further, possibly as the person has something to hide, it's that simple
I don't like anal, why? Because it hurts
I don't like scat, why? Because I'd probably throw up
I don't like straight women, why? Because I want to play with bi ladies
If I was asked why I don't like something I would be honest, if someone is thinking about playing with me I will be honest with them, it's the least they deserve
Little is added to any discussion on the forums when someone asks why people don't like an act/ethnic group/size etc when the answer is "just a preference" it's a cop out.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The "it's a preference" is just a flippant counter remark to avoid the inquisitor enquiring further, possibly as the person has something to hide, it's that simple
I don't like anal, why? Because it hurts
I don't like scat, why? Because I'd probably throw up
I don't like straight women, why? Because I want to play with bi ladies
If I was asked why I don't like something I would be honest, if someone is thinking about playing with me I will be honest with them, it's the least they deserve
Little is added to any discussion on the forums when someone asks why people don't like an act/ethnic group/size etc when the answer is "just a preference" it's a cop out...."
This is how I feel. I am usually able to articulate my preferences and am usually happy to do so. Some things I might genuinely not know why I do or don't like something, so I would either pass that thread by or simply say that 'I don't know'. Other times the subject might be too personal for me to want to explain myself, so I would probably pass that thread by too. I assume any OP asking a question about peoples preferences is intelligent enough to know that it is just preferences, so if I were to tell him/her what he/she already knows I would feel that I would be insulting their intelligence.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Try explaining why you prefer one song to another, or why you prefer certain food tastes to another. We don't have to explain to anybody 'why' we prefer certain things.
Exactly
There is no rhyme or reason why I prefer a nice steak over a curry. Plenty of people eat curry but I cannot stand the smell of it. Next thing, I'll be called a racist because I don't like some ethnic minority foods. What a strange world we live in now
- Mrs. J - I prefer curry as I like a bit of spice with my food.there you go a resonoble reply.don't you think that is a better reply and actually contributes to a thread rather than "just because " or "preference" its genuinly pointles.if you fear being judged or don't want to explain yourself then why even comment on the thread as there are plenty other threads you could enjoy an actual disscusion on.
This was an example of a preference, not a point to argue that an explanation about spices is required
I don't know why I don't like the smell of curry; I just don't
Asking people to explain preferences is a pointless excercise
I don't like heavy metal but I like classical music. Now, some asking me "why" will receive an answer that it is what I prefer
People post on threads where they have a differing point-of-view; we are not all clones of you
- Mrs. J -
Are we saying that people should not pose preference related questions to the forum, on the basis that such questions can't be answered and are therefore pointless to bring it up in the first place?"
No, we are not saying that
What I am saying is that some preferences cannot be explained and therefore it is pointless asking the question; choice of music, clothing, etc
And the answers to some preferences will always offend the person asking the question, e.g., preference of ethnicity and other such characteristics
I saw on one profile: "no means no. And don't bloody ask if that is because you are an Indian"; obviously many dickheads ask this couple, "Is it because I am Indian?" Just take "no" as an answer and try someone else rather than question their prefernce
- Mrs. J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Try explaining why you prefer one song to another, or why you prefer certain food tastes to another. We don't have to explain to anybody 'why' we prefer certain things.
Exactly
There is no rhyme or reason why I prefer a nice steak over a curry. Plenty of people eat curry but I cannot stand the smell of it. Next thing, I'll be called a racist because I don't like some ethnic minority foods. What a strange world we live in now
- Mrs. J - I prefer curry as I like a bit of spice with my food.there you go a resonoble reply.don't you think that is a better reply and actually contributes to a thread rather than "just because " or "preference" its genuinly pointles.if you fear being judged or don't want to explain yourself then why even comment on the thread as there are plenty other threads you could enjoy an actual disscusion on.
This was an example of a preference, not a point to argue that an explanation about spices is required
I don't know why I don't like the smell of curry; I just don't
Asking people to explain preferences is a pointless excercise
I don't like heavy metal but I like classical music. Now, some asking me "why" will receive an answer that it is what I prefer
People post on threads where they have a differing point-of-view; we are not all clones of you
- Mrs. J -I don't like the smell is a far better answer that the reader can understand and engage in.much better than just saying preference dont you think?.I don't understand the whole we are not all clones of you because all I'm looking for is a resonoble disscusion with people who want to interact.surly the clones would be the ones that repeat "preference"lol."
No, it is not a better answer because the next question will be something as silly as "why don't you like the smell?"
Best thing to say is, "it is my preference" and stop the silly Q&As
"Why don't you like heavy metal?"; "I don't and that is that"
- Mrs. J - |
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"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference.
But if you can't give any reason for the preference, there's no point answering the question when the poster is asking for reasons.
It makes me mad..
"
I'm explaining to no one about my 'preferences' - so you will remain mad OP for all I care. Also is this the male of the couple expressing madness? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference.
But if you can't give any reason for the preference, there's no point answering the question when the poster is asking for reasons.
It makes me mad..
So what reason should I give when it is actually just my preference not to fuck them?"
I am afraid that you will have to fuck with them unless you can give a water-tight reason as why you don't want to fuck with them 
- Mrs. J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone asks why people do x or won't do y and someone replies "it's a preference" does it not occur to anyone what a daft thing to say that is?
We know it's a preference. . The question is asking why people have that preference.
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it!
Try explaining why you prefer one song to another, or why you prefer certain food tastes to another. We don't have to explain to anybody 'why' we prefer certain things.
Exactly
There is no rhyme or reason why I prefer a nice steak over a curry. Plenty of people eat curry but I cannot stand the smell of it. Next thing, I'll be called a racist because I don't like some ethnic minority foods. What a strange world we live in now
- Mrs. J - I prefer curry as I like a bit of spice with my food.there you go a resonoble reply.don't you think that is a better reply and actually contributes to a thread rather than "just because " or "preference" its genuinly pointles.if you fear being judged or don't want to explain yourself then why even comment on the thread as there are plenty other threads you could enjoy an actual disscusion on.
This was an example of a preference, not a point to argue that an explanation about spices is required
I don't know why I don't like the smell of curry; I just don't
Asking people to explain preferences is a pointless excercise
I don't like heavy metal but I like classical music. Now, some asking me "why" will receive an answer that it is what I prefer
People post on threads where they have a differing point-of-view; we are not all clones of you
- Mrs. J -
Are we saying that people should not pose preference related questions to the forum, on the basis that such questions can't be answered and are therefore pointless to bring it up in the first place?
No, we are not saying that
What I am saying is that some preferences cannot be explained and therefore it is pointless asking the question; choice of music, clothing, etc
And the answers to some preferences will always offend the person asking the question, e.g., preference of ethnicity and other such characteristics
I saw on one profile: "no means no. And don't bloody ask if that is because you are an Indian"; obviously many dickheads ask this couple, "Is it because I am Indian?" Just take "no" as an answer and try someone else rather than question their prefernce
- Mrs. J -"
I guess my issue is that there is always someone who thinks it a pointless question (which is fine as we are all different) but they don't have to tell me that my question is pointless. I've posed numerous questions to the forums, all of which have generated some very interesting discussion. But there is alway one person who tells me that 'it's a preference' as if I didn't already know that. And it makes me think that if my question is pointless or stupid in their minds, or my question is too intrusive, why respond to my thread at all? I do feel that those who don't like a particular forum question because it's pointless or too noisy should respect the fact that others might enjoy the discussion. And you are absolutely right, some preferences can't be explained, but I can usually contribute a certain amount of discussion about why I like certain clothes, music or food. But for those who can't, saying 'it's a preference' is a very unusual way of saying 'I don't know'. Fab language I guess!
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me I have a preference towards fruit and yoghurt for breakfast. But I won't rule out going to Eat, McDonalds or a cafe on the odd occasion 
When your 'preference' is your only option/consideration I don't legitimately know what you would call it (although technically speaking it would still be a pref) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me I have a preference towards fruit and yoghurt for breakfast. But I won't rule out going to Eat, McDonalds or a cafe on the odd occasion
When your 'preference' is your only option/consideration I don't legitimately know what you would call it (although technically speaking it would still be a pref)"
I mentioned this one on other threads. Going off track slightly, but the word preference has developed an new definition in 'Fab' world, compared to the dictionary definition. It is most definitely an incorrect use of the word when options are excluded.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me I have a preference towards fruit and yoghurt for breakfast. But I won't rule out going to Eat, McDonalds or a cafe on the odd occasion
When your 'preference' is your only option/consideration I don't legitimately know what you would call it (although technically speaking it would still be a pref)"
No one is saying someones preference is the only option,it just happens to be their preferred option. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I prefer Asian to white.... it's my preference.. ..
Is there any other way to say it??? "Like" perhaps.... poops.... there we go again "
If faced with a choice of 2 acceptable options, i.e. Asian and white, then your preference is the option you select from your choice. But if white wasn't acceptable in any way shape or form, then that option is excluded from the choice. There has to be acceptable choice for something to be preferred. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me I have a preference towards fruit and yoghurt for breakfast. But I won't rule out going to Eat, McDonalds or a cafe on the odd occasion
When your 'preference' is your only option/consideration I don't legitimately know what you would call it (although technically speaking it would still be a pref)
No one is saying someones preference is the only option,it just happens to be their preferred option."
I've not read the thread in its entirety because it's too early for what sort of negativity but when I've seen it posted, or justified, it does appear to be the only option.
- No blacks, no Asians
- Why?
- I'm not racist..... 'it's just my preference' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me I have a preference towards fruit and yoghurt for breakfast. But I won't rule out going to Eat, McDonalds or a cafe on the odd occasion
When your 'preference' is your only option/consideration I don't legitimately know what you would call it (although technically speaking it would still be a pref)
No one is saying someones preference is the only option,it just happens to be their preferred option.
I've not read the thread in its entirety because it's too early for what sort of negativity but when I've seen it posted, or justified, it does appear to be the only option.
- No blacks, no Asians
- Why?
- I'm not racist..... 'it's just my preference' "
I'm with you on that one. When options are excluded from the choice, that's an incorrect use of the word. And if someone were to say to me 'why don't you like mushrooms?' it would be a very odd answer if I were to say 'it's my preference'. Mushrooms are totally excluded from my realm of choice, so preference has nothing to do with it. |
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Not sure what to make of it all part from been a bit let down when I see profile wanting only tall.guys or no bald guys please gym.fit only or no white guys obly bbc
I think well shit that puts me out of luck and I move on every one has the right to say what they like and dont like
A fbw I have does not like huge cocks so anything.over 7 incs jut hurts her
Another lady I know wont sleep with Asian guys due to a few bad experiences in clubs and well ahe had been ra ped before by an Asian guy so yeah
Every one has things.they.dont like.and.do might not always be to your taste or might put you shit out of luck but its the way.the games.played |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its difficult to explain a preference. It may be that they tried it once and didn't like it. It might be that they have a phobia or 'ism' about certain things. It may be that they have no earthly idea. I mean, why do I prefer cheddar cheese to stilton? No idea, just my preference.
Maybe that is their answer- that they can't explain it, it just 'is'.
"
Yes. Some things are just feelings. |
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"For me I have a preference towards fruit and yoghurt for breakfast. But I won't rule out going to Eat, McDonalds or a cafe on the odd occasion
When your 'preference' is your only option/consideration I don't legitimately know what you would call it (although technically speaking it would still be a pref)
No one is saying someones preference is the only option,it just happens to be their preferred option.
I've not read the thread in its entirety because it's too early for what sort of negativity but when I've seen it posted, or justified, it does appear to be the only option.
- No blacks, no Asians
- Why?
- I'm not racist..... 'it's just my preference'
I'm with you on that one. When options are excluded from the choice, that's an incorrect use of the word. And if someone were to say to me 'why don't you like mushrooms?' it would be a very odd answer if I were to say 'it's my preference'. Mushrooms are totally excluded from my realm of choice, so preference has nothing to do with it. "
You are absolutely right on the correct definition of "preference" but I think on fabs it has become a euphemism designed to soften generic rejection. "I prefer not to have sex with Asian men" is less harsh than "I don't like having sex with Asian men".
And actually the word is often used in that euphemistic sense. If someone suggests an activity that you really don't want to do, a polite way of refusing would be to say "I'd prefer not to". It's part of English culture to soften refusal and rejection by understating your true feelings. |
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"For me I have a preference towards fruit and yoghurt for breakfast. But I won't rule out going to Eat, McDonalds or a cafe on the odd occasion
When your 'preference' is your only option/consideration I don't legitimately know what you would call it (although technically speaking it would still be a pref)
No one is saying someones preference is the only option,it just happens to be their preferred option.
I've not read the thread in its entirety because it's too early for what sort of negativity but when I've seen it posted, or justified, it does appear to be the only option.
- No blacks, no Asians
- Why?
- I'm not racist..... 'it's just my preference'
I'm with you on that one. When options are excluded from the choice, that's an incorrect use of the word. And if someone were to say to me 'why don't you like mushrooms?' it would be a very odd answer if I were to say 'it's my preference'. Mushrooms are totally excluded from my realm of choice, so preference has nothing to do with it.
You are absolutely right on the correct definition of "preference" but I think on fabs it has become a euphemism designed to soften generic rejection. "I prefer not to have sex with Asian men" is less harsh than "I don't like having sex with Asian men".
And actually the word is often used in that euphemistic sense. If someone suggests an activity that you really don't want to do, a polite way of refusing would be to say "I'd prefer not to". It's part of English culture to soften refusal and rejection by understating your true feelings. "
Why have people to explain why they have a preference for some things? I understand about the harsh wording but how are you going to change people on Fab? |
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"For me I have a preference towards fruit and yoghurt for breakfast. But I won't rule out going to Eat, McDonalds or a cafe on the odd occasion
When your 'preference' is your only option/consideration I don't legitimately know what you would call it (although technically speaking it would still be a pref)
No one is saying someones preference is the only option,it just happens to be their preferred option.
I've not read the thread in its entirety because it's too early for what sort of negativity but when I've seen it posted, or justified, it does appear to be the only option.
- No blacks, no Asians
- Why?
- I'm not racist..... 'it's just my preference'
I'm with you on that one. When options are excluded from the choice, that's an incorrect use of the word. And if someone were to say to me 'why don't you like mushrooms?' it would be a very odd answer if I were to say 'it's my preference'. Mushrooms are totally excluded from my realm of choice, so preference has nothing to do with it.
You are absolutely right on the correct definition of "preference" but I think on fabs it has become a euphemism designed to soften generic rejection. "I prefer not to have sex with Asian men" is less harsh than "I don't like having sex with Asian men".
And actually the word is often used in that euphemistic sense. If someone suggests an activity that you really don't want to do, a polite way of refusing would be to say "I'd prefer not to". It's part of English culture to soften refusal and rejection by understating your true feelings.
Why have people to explain why they have a preference for some things? I understand about the harsh wording but how are you going to change people on Fab? "
Why do you think I want to change people? I don't.
I find discussions on peoples sexual tastes very interesting. I enjoy discussing the reasons behind those tastes. That's all. |
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"For me I have a preference towards fruit and yoghurt for breakfast. But I won't rule out going to Eat, McDonalds or a cafe on the odd occasion
When your 'preference' is your only option/consideration I don't legitimately know what you would call it (although technically speaking it would still be a pref)
No one is saying someones preference is the only option,it just happens to be their preferred option.
I've not read the thread in its entirety because it's too early for what sort of negativity but when I've seen it posted, or justified, it does appear to be the only option.
- No blacks, no Asians
- Why?
- I'm not racist..... 'it's just my preference'
I'm with you on that one. When options are excluded from the choice, that's an incorrect use of the word. And if someone were to say to me 'why don't you like mushrooms?' it would be a very odd answer if I were to say 'it's my preference'. Mushrooms are totally excluded from my realm of choice, so preference has nothing to do with it.
You are absolutely right on the correct definition of "preference" but I think on fabs it has become a euphemism designed to soften generic rejection. "I prefer not to have sex with Asian men" is less harsh than "I don't like having sex with Asian men".
And actually the word is often used in that euphemistic sense. If someone suggests an activity that you really don't want to do, a polite way of refusing would be to say "I'd prefer not to". It's part of English culture to soften refusal and rejection by understating your true feelings.
Why have people to explain why they have a preference for some things? I understand about the harsh wording but how are you going to change people on Fab?
Why do you think I want to change people? I don't.
I find discussions on peoples sexual tastes very interesting. I enjoy discussing the reasons behind those tastes. That's all. "
You mean you're nosey, or not happy that you are not their preference so need to know the reason why! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The way I see it when people pose the question of why do/don't people like something, although it doesn't bring anything much to the discussion,stating that it's just a preference is still as valid a response as anything else. Just because we might not necessarily get the answers we want doesn't mean people shouldn't give a response. Threads rarely go the way intended. That's part and parcel of the forum. You ain't gonna change the way people post just because you don't like it. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't air your annoyance at the way people post, just that it'll be a fruitless mission if you want to change human behaviour. Interesting discussion though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It's does my head in when people say that. I am on a one person mission to stop it! "
OP:
This is where we get the impression you want to change the way people respond from  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me I have a preference towards fruit and yoghurt for breakfast. But I won't rule out going to Eat, McDonalds or a cafe on the odd occasion
When your 'preference' is your only option/consideration I don't legitimately know what you would call it (although technically speaking it would still be a pref)
No one is saying someones preference is the only option,it just happens to be their preferred option.
I've not read the thread in its entirety because it's too early for what sort of negativity but when I've seen it posted, or justified, it does appear to be the only option.
- No blacks, no Asians
- Why?
- I'm not racist..... 'it's just my preference'
I'm with you on that one. When options are excluded from the choice, that's an incorrect use of the word. And if someone were to say to me 'why don't you like mushrooms?' it would be a very odd answer if I were to say 'it's my preference'. Mushrooms are totally excluded from my realm of choice, so preference has nothing to do with it.
You are absolutely right on the correct definition of "preference" but I think on fabs it has become a euphemism designed to soften generic rejection. "I prefer not to have sex with Asian men" is less harsh than "I don't like having sex with Asian men".
And actually the word is often used in that euphemistic sense. If someone suggests an activity that you really don't want to do, a polite way of refusing would be to say "I'd prefer not to". It's part of English culture to soften refusal and rejection by understating your true feelings.
Why have people to explain why they have a preference for some things? I understand about the harsh wording but how are you going to change people on Fab?
Why do you think I want to change people? I don't.
I find discussions on peoples sexual tastes very interesting. I enjoy discussing the reasons behind those tastes. That's all.
You mean you're nosey, or not happy that you are not their preference so need to know the reason why! "
I would describe myself as a nosey inquisitive person. I'm interested in what makes people tick. However my forum questions are only ever directed at people who are interested in joining me in the discussion. I wouldn't dream of poking my nose into an individual's personal business, and I certainly don't intend to cause offence by asking questions. |
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"For me I have a preference towards fruit and yoghurt for breakfast. But I won't rule out going to Eat, McDonalds or a cafe on the odd occasion
When your 'preference' is your only option/consideration I don't legitimately know what you would call it (although technically speaking it would still be a pref)
No one is saying someones preference is the only option,it just happens to be their preferred option.
I've not read the thread in its entirety because it's too early for what sort of negativity but when I've seen it posted, or justified, it does appear to be the only option.
- No blacks, no Asians
- Why?
- I'm not racist..... 'it's just my preference'
I'm with you on that one. When options are excluded from the choice, that's an incorrect use of the word. And if someone were to say to me 'why don't you like mushrooms?' it would be a very odd answer if I were to say 'it's my preference'. Mushrooms are totally excluded from my realm of choice, so preference has nothing to do with it.
You are absolutely right on the correct definition of "preference" but I think on fabs it has become a euphemism designed to soften generic rejection. "I prefer not to have sex with Asian men" is less harsh than "I don't like having sex with Asian men".
And actually the word is often used in that euphemistic sense. If someone suggests an activity that you really don't want to do, a polite way of refusing would be to say "I'd prefer not to". It's part of English culture to soften refusal and rejection by understating your true feelings.
Why have people to explain why they have a preference for some things? I understand about the harsh wording but how are you going to change people on Fab?
Why do you think I want to change people? I don't.
I find discussions on peoples sexual tastes very interesting. I enjoy discussing the reasons behind those tastes. That's all.
You mean you're nosey, or not happy that you are not their preference so need to know the reason why! "
I don't mean that at all. Believe it or not some of us are interested in the political and social aspects of sexuality and like to discuss them. As I have said millions of times, people who are not so interested can just ignore the discussions. |
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"The way I see it when people pose the question of why do/don't people like something, although it doesn't bring anything much to the discussion,stating that it's just a preference is still as valid a response as anything else. Just because we might not necessarily get the answers we want doesn't mean people shouldn't give a response. Threads rarely go the way intended. That's part and parcel of the forum. You ain't gonna change the way people post just because you don't like it. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't air your annoyance at the way people post, just that it'll be a fruitless mission if you want to change human behaviour. Interesting discussion though. "
Of course, if someone starts discussing, say, anal sex, I could post "I don't know much about anal sex, but I had a nice piece of haddock for tea last night".
No one can stop me doing that but it adds nothing to the discussion. Ditto "it's my preference". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From this thread I'm starting to suspect in many situations the expression 'it's a preference' is a polite way of saying 'that's none of your business' or 'that's a pointless or stupid question'. If there are any people who do feel that way, that is absalutely fine because we are all different. As long as those who do like to discuss preferences are respected in their right to do so.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The way I see it when people pose the question of why do/don't people like something, although it doesn't bring anything much to the discussion,stating that it's just a preference is still as valid a response as anything else. Just because we might not necessarily get the answers we want doesn't mean people shouldn't give a response. Threads rarely go the way intended. That's part and parcel of the forum. You ain't gonna change the way people post just because you don't like it. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't air your annoyance at the way people post, just that it'll be a fruitless mission if you want to change human behaviour. Interesting discussion though.
Of course, if someone starts discussing, say, anal sex, I could post "I don't know much about anal sex, but I had a nice piece of haddock for tea last night".
No one can stop me doing that but it adds nothing to the discussion. Ditto "it's my preference". "
I agree it adds nothing. But people will still do it. And that's my point. You only have to look at any thread. There are always people with nothing of any use to add to the discussion but they still comment. I think it's because they feel left out if they don't comment on a thread  |
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"From this thread I'm starting to suspect in many situations the expression 'it's a preference' is a polite way of saying 'that's none of your business' or 'that's a pointless or stupid question'. If there are any people who do feel that way, that is absalutely fine because we are all different. As long as those who do like to discuss preferences are respected in their right to do so.
Mrs"
I agree. Which comes back to the original point that if you take that view why bother involving yourself in the discussion.
I also think that a lot of people do take the view that if you are interested in their reasons for something it is somehow an attack on them or a suggestion that they shouldn't take the view they do. Many people on this thread have made one or both of those assumptions. |
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"From this thread I'm starting to suspect in many situations the expression 'it's a preference' is a polite way of saying 'that's none of your business' or 'that's a pointless or stupid question'. If there are any people who do feel that way, that is absalutely fine because we are all different. As long as those who do like to discuss preferences are respected in their right to do so.
Mrs
I agree. Which comes back to the original point that if you take that view why bother involving yourself in the discussion.
I also think that a lot of people do take the view that if you are interested in their reasons for something it is somehow an attack on them or a suggestion that they shouldn't take the view they do. Many people on this thread have made one or both of those assumptions. "
I have been at pains to qualify my opinions on the subject. Many times it "is" a personal attack or a suggestion that you shouldn't take the view you do. It's easy to spot the threads that are genuinely seeking opinion and education and they are very few and far between. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me I have a preference towards fruit and yoghurt for breakfast. But I won't rule out going to Eat, McDonalds or a cafe on the odd occasion
When your 'preference' is your only option/consideration I don't legitimately know what you would call it (although technically speaking it would still be a pref)
No one is saying someones preference is the only option,it just happens to be their preferred option.
I've not read the thread in its entirety because it's too early for what sort of negativity but when I've seen it posted, or justified, it does appear to be the only option.
- No blacks, no Asians
- Why?
- I'm not racist..... 'it's just my preference'
I'm with you on that one. When options are excluded from the choice, that's an incorrect use of the word. And if someone were to say to me 'why don't you like mushrooms?' it would be a very odd answer if I were to say 'it's my preference'. Mushrooms are totally excluded from my realm of choice, so preference has nothing to do with it.
You are absolutely right on the correct definition of "preference" but I think on fabs it has become a euphemism designed to soften generic rejection. "I prefer not to have sex with Asian men" is less harsh than "I don't like having sex with Asian men".
And actually the word is often used in that euphemistic sense. If someone suggests an activity that you really don't want to do, a polite way of refusing would be to say "I'd prefer not to". It's part of English culture to soften refusal and rejection by understating your true feelings.
Why have people to explain why they have a preference for some things? I understand about the harsh wording but how are you going to change people on Fab?
Why do you think I want to change people? I don't.
I find discussions on peoples sexual tastes very interesting. I enjoy discussing the reasons behind those tastes. That's all.
You mean you're nosey, or not happy that you are not their preference so need to know the reason why!
I would describe myself as a nosey inquisitive person. I'm interested in what makes people tick. However my forum questions are only ever directed at people who are interested in joining me in the discussion. I wouldn't dream of poking my nose into an individual's personal business, and I certainly don't intend to cause offence by asking questions. "
I'm nosey too. I like to know what makes people tick. If they don't like the question they aren't obliged to answer. Keep asking questions. |
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