FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Letting someone down after that dreaded full body pic
Letting someone down after that dreaded full body pic
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What do you say to someone after you've been chatting a little, getting along and they send you that out of focus pic in the mirror and they do not look good or anything at all like the first few pictures. Did you be honest and say you are not for me, do you just ignore or delete and block (bit extreme) ?? |
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"What do you say to someone after you've been chatting a little, getting along and they send you that out of focus pic in the mirror and they do not look good or anything at all like the first few pictures. Did you be honest and say you are not for me, do you just ignore or delete and block (bit extreme) ??"
no need to mention a womans body as it may knock her confidence and she may end up missing out on guys who like the way she looks.best thing to say is you are not feeling the chemestry but you are sure she will find what she is looking for soon enough.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you say to someone after you've been chatting a little, getting along and they send you that out of focus pic in the mirror and they do not look good or anything at all like the first few pictures. Did you be honest and say you are not for me, do you just ignore or delete and block (bit extreme) ??"
I've not had anyone say I'm just not their type but have had people just disappear from conversations...I ant say I lose sleep over it, but I do sometimes wonder what happened  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No-one appeals to everyone and most people here realise that. I think it is important to say something and the "I am just not feeling the chemistry" approach is a great way to gently say no thanks without knocking someones confidence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not so much for body pics, but if someone sends me a face pic and I'm not attracted to them, I just reply with "Not for me, sorry". If they get pushy or funny about it i block them, but most people on here are adult enough to realise we can't all be attractive to everyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I mostly go on face pics and always ask at the beginning of a conversation for a face pic
If I'm not attracted to them then I will wish them well and tell them they are not my type
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After having two kids in two years, my body is not what it used to be. I have a very wobbly tummy with a whole heap of stretch marks and weight that I can not seem to shift.
Despite my insecurities, I bit the bullet and sent a full body picture to a guy who had asked to meet and I appreciated that he was honest and said I wasn't for him.
You can't be everyone's cup of tea, just don't be nasty about it.
- Amy. x |
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By *eppoMan
over a year ago
London Colney |
"After having two kids in two years, my body is not what it used to be. I have a very wobbly tummy with a whole heap of stretch marks and weight that I can not seem to shift.
Despite my insecurities, I bit the bullet and sent a full body picture to a guy who had asked to meet and I appreciated that he was honest and said I wasn't for him.
You can't be everyone's cup of tea, just don't be nasty about it.
- Amy. x"
Well u can only be who u are and if that's not good enough for other people .. Their loss |
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We post pics of what we look like at our best. I think its safe to say most on here do the same
Very few people ever get to see Boo without makeup or even fewer away from here or after a hard day at work.
None of us look our best all the time, could this be a simple case of her opening up to you and showing what she looks like without the make up, clothing ect ect? If it is the case then its a huge compliment she has felt relaxed enough to show you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't send a naked body picture of myself, too gruesome. I send one of me in my Basque and stockings, as that's how I meet. I don't worry if the man doesn't like the picture, I,d move onto next contestant XXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That is why we like to exchange face and body pics early on, pointless having loads of messages then discovering you don't like the whole package."
Yeah this, I was chatting to a young lady whilst having a torso and face shot in my public gallery, it was getting spicy then she asked for a face shot so I duly obliged, she then said I wasn't for her and agreed with my piss-taking colleagues that I looked in my 40's!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it's more often the face pic that kills it for me tbh. I much prefer if someone sends a face pic from the off as saves awkwardness later if they aren't my cup of tea. |
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"That is why we like to exchange face and body pics early on, pointless having loads of messages then discovering you don't like the whole package."
We've had this a couple of times where message conversation flows, but then the face/body behind it just doesn't quite match. Looks aren't everything, but there needs to be some sort of attraction there.
So now we follow your model and ask for pics up front. Doesn't always work in our favour, we've been on the other end of a disappearing act too when we reciprocated. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I don't send full naked body shots, I don't like it so why should I expect them to. I go by a face pic. If someone is so shallow that they want to see what I look like in the buff to decide whether they want to meet me they can do one!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Delete and block
"
I can't be the only one who thinks if someone has been open enough to send you a full body pic they deserve the courtesy of a decent reply surely? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Delete and block
I can't be the only one who thinks if someone has been open enough to send you a full body pic they deserve the courtesy of a decent reply surely?"
Problem is there gonna question why |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't send full naked body shots, I don't like it so why should I expect them to. I go by a face pic. If someone is so shallow that they want to see what I look like in the buff to decide whether they want to meet me they can do one!! "
I don't think it's unreasonable to want an idea of body shape before meeting, that said I don't think it has to be nude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I make it clear in first few sentences I'm a size 18 !
But you could have the best body in town if your wet between the ears it ain't going too happen I don't go for looks it's the mind for me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Delete and block
I can't be the only one who thinks if someone has been open enough to send you a full body pic they deserve the courtesy of a decent reply surely?
Problem is there gonna question why "
Well that you don't have to respond to, but a polite response after you've been sent a private pic is a minimum. I liked the 'chemistry' line. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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All good advise. (Apart from the delete - block)
I went for the truth and wished her good luck as she was not for me. Didn't go down well.
I do think mutual respect Is due on these sites to people that put themselves out there for someone else's scrutiny. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All good advise. (Apart from the delete - block)
I went for the truth and wished her good luck as she was not for me. Didn't go down well.
I do think mutual respect Is due on these sites to people that put themselves out there for someone else's scrutiny. "
The delete and block would of worked then. No didn't go well reply then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's a shame OP. I don't keep a full body pic here either, but as the lady above says I make it clear what size I am. Sometimes just seeing someone in the flesh makes a difference for the better. However, you were honest and if someone said that to me I'd respect their decision. |
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By *lg1000Couple
over a year ago
Bedfordshire |
"What do you say to someone after you've been chatting a little, getting along and they send you that out of focus pic in the mirror and they do not look good or anything at all like the first few pictures. Did you be honest and say you are not for me, do you just ignore or delete and block (bit extreme) ??"
I once had a younger bloke say I was too big for him. Didn't phase me, like people have said, you can't please everyone x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd rather someone said not for me than carry on talking. If they went silent I'd take that as a not for me and forget about him. I usually describe my body though, as I don't send naked pics. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd rather someone said not for me than carry on talking. If they went silent I'd take that as a not for me and forget about him. I usually describe my body though, as I don't send naked pics. "
Are there words to describe such enticement? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Body pics don't bother me. I'm more about the face.
Speaking personally. If I were to send you a full body pic and you didnt fancy me, I would prefer for you to just say I wasn't your type, instead of just blocking me. Especially of we had been chatting back and forth  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd rather someone said not for me than carry on talking. If they went silent I'd take that as a not for me and forget about him. I usually describe my body though, as I don't send naked pics.
Are there words to describe such enticement?"
In my case: Flabby; wobbly; fat; stretch marked etc. That's if I get the feeling they would be put off by any of those descriptions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd rather someone said not for me than carry on talking. If they went silent I'd take that as a not for me and forget about him. I usually describe my body though, as I don't send naked pics.
Are there words to describe such enticement?
In my case: Flabby; wobbly; fat; stretch marked etc. That's if I get the feeling they would be put off by any of those descriptions. "
Think you may have mistaken antonyms for synonyms - definitely more a case of firm, pert, curvaceous and silky smooth from what I've seen xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd rather someone said not for me than carry on talking. If they went silent I'd take that as a not for me and forget about him. I usually describe my body though, as I don't send naked pics.
Are there words to describe such enticement?
In my case: Flabby; wobbly; fat; stretch marked etc. That's if I get the feeling they would be put off by any of those descriptions.
Think you may have mistaken antonyms for synonyms - definitely more a case of firm, pert, curvaceous and silky smooth from what I've seen xx"
Firm and pert are two words I wouldn't associate my body with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd rather someone said not for me than carry on talking. If they went silent I'd take that as a not for me and forget about him. I usually describe my body though, as I don't send naked pics.
Are there words to describe such enticement?
In my case: Flabby; wobbly; fat; stretch marked etc. That's if I get the feeling they would be put off by any of those descriptions.
Think you may have mistaken antonyms for synonyms - definitely more a case of firm, pert, curvaceous and silky smooth from what I've seen xx
Firm and pert are two words I wouldn't associate my body with. "
Oh you certainly should - especially when out with alluring and seductive xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A simple emoji reply? Who can get mad at that?
May I suggest the green vom face?
I'd be scarred for life by that 
I would probably laugh "
Yes, you probably would |
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Never happens as I have lots of recent face and body pics on fab! I posted one (now on friends) a few days ago because I feel I don't look my best and wouldn't want anyone I met to be disappointed! At least if I know if they're happy meeting the 'real' me then they won't be horrified if I take my clothes off!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just ignore.
I'd hate someone to tell me I was too fat and ugly 
No reply gives you the answer without saying it.
Just get face and body pics within the first couple of messages to save an awkward moment  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Delete and block
I can't be the only one who thinks if someone has been open enough to send you a full body pic they deserve the courtesy of a decent reply surely?"
I agree.
"You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Delete and block
I can't be the only one who thinks if someone has been open enough to send you a full body pic they deserve the courtesy of a decent reply surely?
I agree.
"You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry.""
From someone who often gets told I look cute and that's the final message, I'd rather they didn't respond. Nothing winds me up more than being let down like that. |
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Well let's just say do as you wish, can't please everyone. Some want to be left and ignored after, others want a response. Or in future get the pic first and then say sorry not for me. People have to learn to deal with rejection, especially on here, we're not all everyone's cup of tea, so they can like it or lump it. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"What do you say to someone after you've been chatting a little, getting along and they send you that out of focus pic in the mirror and they do not look good or anything at all like the first few pictures. Did you be honest and say you are not for me, do you just ignore or delete and block (bit extreme) ??no need to mention a womans body as it may knock her confidence and she may end up missing out on guys who like the way she looks.best thing to say is you are not feeling the chemestry but you are sure she will find what she is looking for soon enough."
I like this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't send full naked body shots, I don't like it so why should I expect them to. I go by a face pic. If someone is so shallow that they want to see what I look like in the buff to decide whether they want to meet me they can do one!! "
This right here!
Women have enough hang ups without not living up to expectations of others!
4 children, jelly belly, tiger stripes right here!
show me a rugged handsome/pretty face with some humour and Witt who gives a rats ass what the body looks like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Delete and block
I can't be the only one who thinks if someone has been open enough to send you a full body pic they deserve the courtesy of a decent reply surely?
I agree.
"You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry.""
Very patronising. A bit like. You're a nice guy.. But |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All good advise. (Apart from the delete - block)
I went for the truth and wished her good luck as she was not for me. Didn't go down well.
I do think mutual respect Is due on these sites to people that put themselves out there for someone else's scrutiny. "
ouch! I'm not surprised it didn't go down well!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely all anyone needs say is politely 'sorry, but not for me/us', and wish them fun? It really doesn't need to be complicated."
problem is if until certain photos are sent it was all going well the person will know its on looks.
When we are meeting we send photos on 1st messages as then it saves the time later. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Going on experience here it def favours ladies and they can be picky and rightly so.
First message I always include an up to date face pic then if I get a reply I know I'm their type.
More often than not tho it's sorry not my type or blocked. If I get the sorry not my type reply I leave a thank you and no harm done
Manners are easy carried |
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Sounds like you did the right thing and was upfront and honest. This is why I could never understand why people sit and chat for months with people on here without meeting them. This is a prize example for why online should stay about appearances in the first instance. But I think people like to chat so the person can "get to like them" and be forgiving when the pic is sent hahaha.
Be polite as you were and feel no guilt. Preference and attraction is an individual thing so you won't be everyone's taste and everyone's not yours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A simple emoji reply? Who can get mad at that?
May I suggest the green vom face?
I'd be scarred for life by that "
Could you imagine
I'd probably send an apology that I'd traumatised them so much |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"What do you say to someone after you've been chatting a little, getting along and they send you that out of focus pic in the mirror and they do not look good or anything at all like the first few pictures. Did you be honest and say you are not for me, do you just ignore or delete and block (bit extreme) ??"
So sexual prowess and performance is purely dependent on body type
I take it your not sapiosexual op you best get your arse down the gym quick if that's the case |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you've been chatting and the chemistry is there but pics aren't what was expected you can't just sack them off, it was their personality that you get along with |
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"If you've been chatting and the chemistry is there but pics aren't what was expected you can't just sack them off, it was their personality that you get along with"
Why not? Not everyone is looking to make friends. There are probably loads of people that I could chat too and enjoy the conversation, doesn't mean I want to fuck them, physical attraction is needed too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They'll clock it was from the picture regardless if you mention it or not
Can't see any way around it really. Just be as nice as you can about it i guess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Delete and block
I can't be the only one who thinks if someone has been open enough to send you a full body pic they deserve the courtesy of a decent reply surely?"
I agree, I can't be cut and throat about it despite it being a stranger.
Or perhaps people would prefer that to save any knocks to their confidence??
Can someone not come up with a guide book or something??  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What do you say to someone after you've been chatting a little, getting along and they send you that out of focus pic in the mirror and they do not look good or anything at all like the first few pictures. Did you be honest and say you are not for me, do you just ignore or delete and block (bit extreme) ??
So sexual prowess and performance is purely dependent on body type
I take it your not sapiosexual op you best get your arse down the gym quick if that's the case "
No. I'm not. Luckily my job keeps me fairly fit an active. Which I know can't be the case for everyone.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Different opinions and approaches here. Some aweful like the green face some nice.
I'd always go for nice and polite. Doesn't always work out though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would prefer some one to be honest with us, I'd rather a polite no rather then us thinking they are interested when in actual fact they are not. We try and always be honest with other members of fab sometimes it does go down to well but hay it's all part of this site! I always make sure who in talking to know my body is perfect I've had kids etc best to be honest! |
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