FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Sympathy for the single guys
Sympathy for the single guys
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Starting to appreciate why single guys find it frustrating and hard work on here. Like other couples and single women the majority of winks & messages we receive are from single guys. Whilst we aren't currently interested in straight guys, a polite message in return doesn't take much effort and, aside from the very rare occasion they've been polite. We have sent messages to both single women and couples which we have put effort into, clearly showing we have read their profiles only for them to be read and never replied to or deleted.
So guys, don't think it's just you that have it tough on here, we do sympathise when you put the effort into a message but people don't do the same in return. Chin up and persevere though!
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"Starting to appreciate why single guys find it frustrating and hard work on here. Like other couples and single women the majority of winks & messages we receive are from single guys. Whilst we aren't currently interested in straight guys, a polite message in return doesn't take much effort and, aside from the very rare occasion they've been polite. We have sent messages to both single women and couples which we have put effort into, clearly showing we have read their profiles only for them to be read and never replied to or deleted.
So guys, don't think it's just you that have it tough on here, we do sympathise when you put the effort into a message but people don't do the same in return. Chin up and persevere though!
"
 your so right nice to see good people like your self |
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I appreciate this message. It can be a little disheartening when you take the time to write, using what info is in their profile, a decent message and not get a reply. I also appreciate that women and couples receive many messages so it's not possible to reply to everyone.
Perseverance is the key (obviously not with the same person/people!!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I don't send a lot of messages to be honest but my frustration begins when just because I'm here as a single guy I'm expected to meet and fuck automatically like I'm lucky to get a message or an offer of fun .. my standards will never slip I'm very fussy about who I meet I always respect others but do get grief for being honest and sending a polite no thank you which I always do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes we agree with what you say and certainly want guys to persevere. They are our main "thing" and we welcome the attention.
We do tend to be impatient with guys who can't be bothered to say much or provide pics though. If somebody can't take initiative in here then will they be able to step up in bed? Perhaps we've missed the best sex ever with that thinking but, hey.
Anyway, well said OP and here's to the single guys.
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"Personally I don't send a lot of messages to be honest but my frustration begins when just because I'm here as a single guy I'm expected to meet and fuck automatically like I'm lucky to get a message or an offer of fun .. my standards will never slip I'm very fussy about who I meet I always respect others but do get grief for being honest and sending a polite no thank you which I always do. "
I've had similar- usually a one line message saying face pic or come round now! |
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Nice to know the are some decent people still on this site, not that I find getting meets a problem as I'm in there words a bit of a (BBC) fetish, but I know single guys get a bad rap..so good on you so guys there is light at the end of the tunnel. |
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"Your right! I sympathise with the single men on here, but also for the higher price to get in clubs! Although it's worth it it's double what women pay. "
Possibly a bit of supply and demand? Clubs know they can charge more and so do. Could do with being a little fairer though. |
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"Starting to appreciate why single guys find it frustrating and hard work on here. Like other couples and single women the majority of winks & messages we receive are from single guys. Whilst we aren't currently interested in straight guys, a polite message in return doesn't take much effort and, aside from the very rare occasion they've been polite. We have sent messages to both single women and couples which we have put effort into, clearly showing we have read their profiles only for them to be read and never replied to or deleted.
So guys, don't think it's just you that have it tough on here, we do sympathise when you put the effort into a message but people don't do the same in return. Chin up and persevere though!
your so right nice to see good people like your self"
Thank you |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
Very nice of you op. And the replies too. One thing to have in mind is that the majority of the site do not use the forums. The vast majority go about their business and we never hear from them. I do wonder if the help with profile threads and cant get a meet threads make it seem worse than it is. Food for thought. |
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Appreciate the thread, I've been here long enough not to send messages unless there's a good reason to think I'm a possible good fit, and they are what I'm looking for too. When I do message it's polite but brief specific and to the point. No point spending ages crafting a long message as there is a 90% chance it will be deleted and at the end of the day if someone wants to play with me they will reply and can expand from there. Some might think that's lazy but it's not it's just practical x |
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We also go to jaydees unlike other clubs they only charge single guys a little more than couples and on some nights the same price, yes Saturdays can be different as couples don't want to be plagued by single guys, we pick our night accordingly depending on what fun we are after. But agree some clubs go over top with single guy prices |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your right! I sympathise with the single men on here, but also for the higher price to get in clubs! Although it's worth it it's double what women pay. "
Double ... that's cheap. There's a current party nearby where single guys are twice couples and 5x single ladies. It's not about keeping a balance of single guys and single ladies.....its just they can charge that as enough single guys will pay. If they doubled the single ladies prices they might find it harder to get the numbers needed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not all single guys struggle. That's a fab myth "
Agree. I've never had to go to a club or social to get meets.
I'm actually going to my first social this Saturday. Quite neo us as I'm not an upfront outgoing type. I'm much more comfortable one to one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Make a effort with your profile and with your messages most importantly read what they say about themselves and if it's a couple don't just message the hot female I always ensure both are engaged in messages that's my advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not all single guys struggle. That's a fab myth
Agree. I've never had to go to a club or social to get meets.
I'm actually going to my first social this Saturday. Quite neo us as I'm not an upfront outgoing type. I'm much more comfortable one to one."
You're be fine. I was the same before I joined fab. Now I love socials,chatting etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rather than cluttering up the thread with copies of other replies, we know this doesn't apply to all single guys. Just thought it would be nice for those it does apply to know it's not just them "
Are you gonna offer the guys sympathy shags next  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not all single guys struggle. That's a fab myth
Agree. I've never had to go to a club or social to get meets.
I'm actually going to my first social this Saturday. Quite neo us as I'm not an upfront outgoing type. I'm much more comfortable one to one.
You're be fine. I was the same before I joined fab. Now I love socials,chatting etc "
Thanks mate. Yeah it'll be alright.. smallish group and I know a couple people going. I guess my time is also limited so tend to focus on my meets. I have a good social life outside of fab and so kept them very separate even inmy head too. |
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"Rather than cluttering up the thread with copies of other replies, we know this doesn't apply to all single guys. Just thought it would be nice for those it does apply to know it's not just them
Are you gonna offer the guys sympathy shags next "
We could, not sure they'd all want to be fucked by A though   |
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You make s good point of telling guys to engage in chat with both halves of couple you would be amazed at amount of guys who try to get off with wife when left alone on trip to bar or toilet, even totally ignoring the male half. They are the ones I take my wife away from. They tend to forget part the reason we swing or hotwife is we both get a kick either watching or playing.the decent guys who do make the effort to chat get the tips on what turn her on and have a good night, the bad ones waste the entrance fee and wander around all night lol |
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"Nice to know the are some decent people still on this site, not that I find getting meets a problem as I'm in there words a bit of a (BBC) fetish, but I know single guys get a bad rap..so good on you so guys there is light at the end of the tunnel. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We get countless messages from single guys.
Mostly just block and delete the ones we don't like the look of for any of our reasons. Unless they have a decent profile and have taken time to send a proper message, instead of .. "hey" , "hey wat u up 2?".. "I'm free right now, fancy a fuck?? Etc
It's much easier to just delete and block.
Many also take a polite no thanks as an in road to keep messaging.
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Ones that have clearly not read our profile and are not what we are looking for.
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Ones such as a guy yesterday who had no photos on his profile or message saying "hi, fancy meeting up for coffee?
..
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By *vieCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"We also go to jaydees unlike other clubs they only charge single guys a little more than couples and on some nights the same price, yes Saturdays can be different as couples don't want to be plagued by single guys, we pick our night accordingly depending on what fun we are after. But agree some clubs go over top with single guy prices"
We go to jaydees, brilliant club for price and friendly staff! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's nice to send a courteous reply to all messages,after all a simple 'thanks but no thanks' is not much to ask,is it?
But,,,and it's a BIG but,,,,,it's not just one 'thanks but no thanks' is it,on a quiet day it's several.On a busy day it can be a flippin' lot. A lot of those may be from people with no pic, people from hundreds of miles away,they may be one liners,barely intelligible. of course it would be nice to reply to them all,it would be nice to have the time and patience.
It would also be nice if people read profiles and thought a bit more about who to message in the first place.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I gave my fwb a challenge a while ago. Create a good and well written single guy profile, use some 'average' pic's and see how the profile responses roll in.
Interesting for a lady to see it from the other side for a change.
Yes, some articulate and traditionally 'handsome' guys do really well. But without doubt that's not the norm for your average Joe compared to the average normal lady.
Not complaining, just an interesting experiment at the time. |
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"It's nice to send a courteous reply to all messages,after all a simple 'thanks but no thanks' is not much to ask,is it?
But,,,and it's a BIG but,,,,,it's not just one 'thanks but no thanks' is it,on a quiet day it's several.On a busy day it can be a flippin' lot. A lot of those may be from people with no pic, people from hundreds of miles away,they may be one liners,barely intelligible. of course it would be nice to reply to them all,it would be nice to have the time and patience.
It would also be nice if people read profiles and thought a bit more about who to message in the first place.
"
The message filters can help to block a lot of unwanted mail. We always read profiles and send a message accoridngly. They can still be ignored. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's nice to send a courteous reply to all messages,after all a simple 'thanks but no thanks' is not much to ask,is it?
But,,,and it's a BIG but,,,,,it's not just one 'thanks but no thanks' is it,on a quiet day it's several.On a busy day it can be a flippin' lot. A lot of those may be from people with no pic, people from hundreds of miles away,they may be one liners,barely intelligible. of course it would be nice to reply to them all,it would be nice to have the time and patience.
It would also be nice if people read profiles and thought a bit more about who to message in the first place.
The message filters can help to block a lot of unwanted mail. We always read profiles and send a message accoridngly. They can still be ignored."
I don't think the message filters work,I'm always getting pic less messages. So,yes I do ignore them and they don't get a polite 'thanks but no thanks' they don't deserve to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My meets have all come from conversation started from forum posts or general flirting in the forums.
General chit chat, find you have a connection and it goes from there.
I didn't use the forums for a long time during my first stint here and just sent messages. Always polite, no dick pics, specific to them and the profile. Only ever had one reply which resulted in a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Starting to appreciate why single guys find it frustrating and hard work on here. Like other couples and single women the majority of winks & messages we receive are from single guys. Whilst we aren't currently interested in straight guys, a polite message in return doesn't take much effort and, aside from the very rare occasion they've been polite. We have sent messages to both single women and couples which we have put effort into, clearly showing we have read their profiles only for them to be read and never replied to or deleted.
So guys, don't think it's just you that have it tough on here, we do sympathise when you put the effort into a message but people don't do the same in return. Chin up and persevere though!
"
The amount of times I've 'chinned up and persevered' ... !
Basic manners really |
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"It's nice to send a courteous reply to all messages,after all a simple 'thanks but no thanks' is not much to ask,is it?
But,,,and it's a BIG but,,,,,it's not just one 'thanks but no thanks' is it,on a quiet day it's several.On a busy day it can be a flippin' lot. A lot of those may be from people with no pic, people from hundreds of miles away,they may be one liners,barely intelligible. of course it would be nice to reply to them all,it would be nice to have the time and patience.
It would also be nice if people read profiles and thought a bit more about who to message in the first place.
The message filters can help to block a lot of unwanted mail. We always read profiles and send a message accoridngly. They can still be ignored.
I don't think the message filters work,I'm always getting pic less messages. So,yes I do ignore them and they don't get a polite 'thanks but no thanks' they don't deserve to. "
There isn't an option to block people without pics is there? Won't block all but maybe some? |
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"Starting to appreciate why single guys find it frustrating and hard work on here. Like other couples and single women the majority of winks & messages we receive are from single guys. Whilst we aren't currently interested in straight guys, a polite message in return doesn't take much effort and, aside from the very rare occasion they've been polite. We have sent messages to both single women and couples which we have put effort into, clearly showing we have read their profiles only for them to be read and never replied to or deleted.
So guys, don't think it's just you that have it tough on here, we do sympathise when you put the effort into a message but people don't do the same in return. Chin up and persevere though!
"
Here is the rub .... the site reminds you if you have messaged someone in the past and not had a response - why do users not send back a quick "thanks but no thanks" type message.
This way you shouldnt get bombarded with multiple messages all hoping to engage you in a conversation to get a feel for any chemistry.
Just my frustrated 2p worth  |
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By *a72Man
over a year ago
london |
As a single guy on here it can get annoying sometimes to read how most if not all women get about 50+ messages a day on here! and then complain about it? We (us single guys) wouldn't mind a few of those messages ourselves lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm starting to get tired of writing a decent message to women and couples I ask nicely in return for a simple reply even if your not interested but I hardly ever get replies just men whoi I'm not interested in lol!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't reply to all messages, a lot are from miles away. If I reply too far, they then want to come to my house. I don't host. Also I find if I reply politely they think I am interested in them, and am their new FB ect.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Starting to appreciate why single guys find it frustrating and hard work on here. Like other couples and single women the majority of winks & messages we receive are from single guys. Whilst we aren't currently interested in straight guys, a polite message in return doesn't take much effort and, aside from the very rare occasion they've been polite. We have sent messages to both single women and couples which we have put effort into, clearly showing we have read their profiles only for them to be read and never replied to or deleted.
So guys, don't think it's just you that have it tough on here, we do sympathise when you put the effort into a message but people don't do the same in return. Chin up and persevere though!
"
I get that all the time so I got used to it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know single guys are in the majority on here and therefore that makes it a buyers market for the people who are choosing but the big problem on here is time wasters many of whom are single guys and who make it twice as hard for the rest of us to get a look in. I have always done what I said I would, have an account with decent and recent verifications and never let people down. Twice in the last 10 days I have been let down by couples cancelling arrangements at last minute or making arrangements to meet and then not give it a location. Just wanted to say there are some of us out here who do try and not all the time wasters are single men. |
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