FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Ladies why 45?
Ladies why 45?
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Ladies what is it about us guy's over 45 you don't like?
So many women have 45 as upper age limit,I know it's personal preference but what is it that puts you off ?
Is it the saggy balls,lack of own teeth, inability to remember the Day of the week,hairy back , constantly referencing stuff that you have no idea what we are talking about ( boys from the black stuff or Samantha fox or airwolf) for example.
Or our lack of stamina and sexual prowess ?
Are men over 45 really that unappealing? |
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"Same reasons as you have your preferences set to under 55, OP. We are all allowed to choose what kind of people we want to play with. "
I said it's personal preference in statement I was asking why tho.
As it's far more common for women to have 45 as a upper age limit than for example is with 55 .
Our reasons for this our rather complicated and tbh not really realted to appearance if you want an explanation.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought it was 49.
On this fine Tuesday, has anyone seen my glasses?
Did I ever tell you about that time before the Internet..... "
did i miss monday somehow  |
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Look I understand why a woman who is say 25 or 30 wouldn't want to Shah an old geezer like me.
Heck if I was a fit 30 year old woman I would barf at the thought of shagging me.
I fully appreciate that we are not as virile and firm as we used to be. But we have skills and experience to call upon.
It does seem odd that alot of younger guys like older women but fewer younger women like older guy's.
Yes there are a few and I am not sure where I am going with this or even if there is a point.
But just want some honesty rather than the standard" it's my preference" stock reply.
We can take it ladies we won't get that offended,well maybe a bit.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sometimes we meet new people in a swingers club and have a great time with them - without knowing anything about their profile - when we get home we get in touch, read their profile etc and discover we are way way out of their age preference - 
our reason for setting our age preference is- lower age - because we have grown up children in their late 20's and I feel maternal rather than sexual around people of that age group - upper age - an estimate of the age we imagine we might be when we cease swinging - think we will raise that by one year every year! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
But just want some honesty rather than the standard" it's my preference" stock reply.
We can take it ladies we won't get that offended,well maybe a bit.
"
They gave you honesty,it's their preference,you just don't seem to like the answer. |
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"
But just want some honesty rather than the standard" it's my preference" stock reply.
We can take it ladies we won't get that offended,well maybe a bit.
They gave you honesty,it's their preference,you just don't seem to like the answer."
 |
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"
But just want some honesty rather than the standard" it's my preference" stock reply.
We can take it ladies we won't get that offended,well maybe a bit.
They gave you honesty,it's their preference,you just don't seem to like the answer."
g
That is an honest answer, just a totally uninformative one.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I too find it meaningless when people say 'it's just my preference', when in reality it might be quite interesting to discuss why people have certain preferences.
For me personally, I find men typically over a certain age start to look like old men and cease to hold sex appeal. I'm not sure what that age is, but for many I think they start to lose it in their late 40s. Others may be lucky enough to hold onto their looks and sex appeal well into their 50S. This is just my opinion of course. To me the perfect age for a man sexually is 35 to 40 because they seem to have the maturity and experience to give me what I want, but still have their youth and virility. By contrast there seems to be some incredibly sexy women in their late 40s and well into their 50s. I've often wondered why women seem to age so much better than men. I suspect it's because there is more women can do to make themselves look youthful and sexy - hair dye, heels, push-up bras, corsets etc etc. Hence why there are usually more pictures of women on couples profiles. This does make it a problem finding couples for swaps though, as a lot of maturer women might think they can get a hotter single man.
Mrs |
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Lol im 45 and married, so totally out of luck. As apparently if wiggles isnt with me "I must be cheating"
Wiggles is 50 and married, but has a que of would be men after her.
Life is funny that way, though she does tell me im offten oblivious to girls who like me. |
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"I too find it meaningless when people say 'it's just my preference', when in reality it might be quite interesting to discuss why people have certain preferences.
For me personally, I find men typically over a certain age start to look like old men and cease to hold sex appeal. I'm not sure what that age is, but for many I think they start to lose it in their late 40s. Others may be lucky enough to hold onto their looks and sex appeal well into their 50S. This is just my opinion of course. To me the perfect age for a man sexually is 35 to 40 because they seem to have the maturity and experience to give me what I want, but still have their youth and virility. By contrast there seems to be some incredibly sexy women in their late 40s and well into their 50s. I've often wondered why women seem to age so much better than men. I suspect it's because there is more women can do to make themselves look youthful and sexy - hair dye, heels, push-up bras, corsets etc etc. Hence why there are usually more pictures of women on couples profiles. This does make it a problem finding couples for swaps though, as a lot of maturer women might think they can get a hotter single man.
Mrs"
Interesting and intelligent response.
I have found that once I passed 40 I seemingly turned invisible to the opposite sex.
Jools on the other hand has seemingly become far more noticeable to the other and same sex in lots of cases.
She has always been attractive.
To see us now some would say I have done well.
When younger we were both an attractive couple and she would always complain that women were always checking me out when we went out.
I make you tight some people just age better she has always looked young for her age.
30 years working in the building trade has caught up to me ,I look in the mirror and see my dad looking back at me.
Yet in myself I still feel young and strong and virile.
It's strange that for years we are told by women that personality is more important than look's.
Yet fabs is proof positive that this is not the case.
It's the animal in us. Women will finds themselves drawn towards the most sexually appealing male.
Where are men if they are honest will Shag anything! |
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"Well. 45's bloody ancient innit?  "
In fab years yes.
45 for men in fab is like 60 in real life.
And 45 for women is like 35 in real life.
I am roughly 25/30 years older than jools on fabs even tho we are the same age.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab can easily lure you into seeing your cup as half empty. I'd suggest it's utterly unfruitful territory to go to. What comes your way on Fab is a blessing... always was and still is... no matter how old you are  |
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"I too find it meaningless when people say 'it's just my preference', when in reality it might be quite interesting to discuss why people have certain preferences.
For me personally, I find men typically over a certain age start to look like old men and cease to hold sex appeal. I'm not sure what that age is, but for many I think they start to lose it in their late 40s. Others may be lucky enough to hold onto their looks and sex appeal well into their 50S. This is just my opinion of course. To me the perfect age for a man sexually is 35 to 40 because they seem to have the maturity and experience to give me what I want, but still have their youth and virility. By contrast there seems to be some incredibly sexy women in their late 40s and well into their 50s. I've often wondered why women seem to age so much better than men. I suspect it's because there is more women can do to make themselves look youthful and sexy - hair dye, heels, push-up bras, corsets etc etc. Hence why there are usually more pictures of women on couples profiles. This does make it a problem finding couples for swaps though, as a lot of maturer women might think they can get a hotter single man.
Mrs"
We are a 50 year old man and 46 year old woman. It's the male typing here and being honest I see a loss of sex appeal in myself in the last few years particularly facially. The face has become more round and saggy and I have very little hair. I counteract that by being a gym addict and have a fairly muscular toned body better than (I Flatter myself) . the vast majority of men my age. However I recognise its not as hot as a 35 year old in decent shape.
Katie on the other hand is slim and toned and is incredibly hot. Admittedly she dyes her hair, which helps but she has no trouble attracting men of all ages. Interestingly she won't generally have casual sex with men my age as they are "too old". Apparently I am different!
I think some of it is down to men being less picky. Essentially if you are a female who is not very overweight (and they have their own niche market) about 95% of men on here would fuck you given the chance. Women are far more selective.
There is though, I agree, something more going on and that older women tend to be more aesthetically pleasing than older men.
As an older man, I am zen about this. Katie will always get more attraction than me and that is fine. In fact it's hot. I seriously get off on her fucking others with or without me present.
Which is just as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My upper age limit is 35...is not that there aren't guys older that I am attracted to but not many and my inbox was ridiculousy full of guys I wouldn't be interested in, when my preferences were set at 45, so I changed them to younger... I like guys that look the age I feel, not ones that look like they could be my dad |
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"I too find it meaningless when people say 'it's just my preference', when in reality it might be quite interesting to discuss why people have certain preferences.
For me personally, I find men typically over a certain age start to look like old men and cease to hold sex appeal. I'm not sure what that age is, but for many I think they start to lose it in their late 40s. Others may be lucky enough to hold onto their looks and sex appeal well into their 50S. This is just my opinion of course. To me the perfect age for a man sexually is 35 to 40 because they seem to have the maturity and experience to give me what I want, but still have their youth and virility. By contrast there seems to be some incredibly sexy women in their late 40s and well into their 50s. I've often wondered why women seem to age so much better than men. I suspect it's because there is more women can do to make themselves look youthful and sexy - hair dye, heels, push-up bras, corsets etc etc. Hence why there are usually more pictures of women on couples profiles. This does make it a problem finding couples for swaps though, as a lot of maturer women might think they can get a hotter single man.
Mrs
Interesting and intelligent response.
I have found that once I passed 40 I seemingly turned invisible to the opposite sex.
Jools on the other hand has seemingly become far more noticeable to the other and same sex in lots of cases.
She has always been attractive.
To see us now some would say I have done well.
When younger we were both an attractive couple and she would always complain that women were always checking me out when we went out.
I make you tight some people just age better she has always looked young for her age.
30 years working in the building trade has caught up to me ,I look in the mirror and see my dad looking back at me.
Yet in myself I still feel young and strong and virile.
It's strange that for years we are told by women that personality is more important than look's.
Yet fabs is proof positive that this is not the case.
It's the animal in us. Women will finds themselves drawn towards the most sexually appealing male.
Where are men if they are honest will Shag anything!"
We've said something very similar below.
At the risk of this thread being like a school disco, we fancy you. However we can't message due to your filters. Have a look at our profile and feel to message us |
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By *limarCouple
over a year ago
SE London |
We set our upper age limit to match Mr. I doubt this will increase as the majority of men who message us (supposedly) of the same age need to add ten years to their profile. We both look younger than we are but even so... |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
All those that set age limits as a preference are perfectly entitled to do so but in 10 years time they will be outside the age limit set by someone they are attracted to and will lament the stereotyping of older swingers.At least they are clear about their preferences. I suspect that many whose supposed preference is 18 to 99 just didn't set the filter and use the delete button instead. |
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"All those that set age limits as a preference are perfectly entitled to do so but in 10 years time they will be outside the age limit set by someone they are attracted to and will lament the stereotyping of older swingers.At least they are clear about their preferences. I suspect that many whose supposed preference is 18 to 99 just didn't set the filter and use the delete button instead. "
It's a sad fact of life that us old men continue to be attracted to younger women, but most won't be attracted to us.
Swinging opportunities will tend to decline once you are over fifty, at least for men. Nothing you can do about it I am afraid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because that's the age of people i want to meet! I have found i dont have too much in common with older (although there are obviously exceptions to rules) my ex husband is/was 15 years older than me so i dont tend to go above that |
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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago
swingers clubs |
Our upper age limit is set at 40. We have played with older (not much older) but depends on the individual. At the end of the day, it's all about who you find sexually attractive, and for us that does tend be within our age preferences set out in our profile.
XX doesn't want to play with older guys, and XY doesn't want to see XX shagging a guy old enough to be her father. It just doesn't turn either of us on.
Unfortunately the body does start to go downhill. No matter how much you try to fight it.
Tbf, our age limit used to be set at 45. But due to 'fab 45' year olds we decided to lower it. The amount of mail we get from people who are clearly a lot older than they say is ridiculous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ladies what is it about us guy's over 45 you don't like?
"
Because fab 45 is real life 48-52, and fab 50 is often 58+. I'm married, just still, to a 52 yr old and I know what 52 looks like.
There does also seem to be a change in attitude once men turn (real life) 50. Lots of harking back rather than looking forward. This, more than anything else, I find unappealing about men over 50. We all still have a lot of life to live! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My upper age limit is 35...is not that there aren't guys older that I am attracted to but not many and my inbox was ridiculousy full of guys I wouldn't be interested in, when my preferences were set at 45, so I changed them to younger... I like guys that look the age I feel, not ones that look like they could be my dad "
I like women that look the age I feel too But, you know what, swinging has opened my eyes to the beauty of my peers and elders... and there's something nice about being with someone who's a bit more on your wavelength.
Sex on Fab can sometimes be about which sweet has the nicest wrapper. But there's something to be said for being a bit deeper thinking than that. Awww who am I trying to convince?  |
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"Ladies what is it about us guy's over 45 you don't like?
Because fab 45 is real life 48-52, and fab 50 is often 58+. I'm married, just still, to a 52 yr old and I know what 52 looks like.
There does also seem to be a change in attitude once men turn (real life) 50. Lots of harking back rather than looking forward. This, more than anything else, I find unappealing about men over 50. We all still have a lot of life to live!"
That is annoying. We are the ages we say we are. But then we would say that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fabs a sausage feast. So much choice a lot get over looked.  "
This. Just makes things easier for me.
I'm a bit strange though. Have issues with fucking men under 30 because I feel like a perv ( not saying others that do are! Just makes me feel weird) but by also staying under 45, makes me believe I'm still young
I've a complex mind. Even I head fuck myself. But mainly it's to keep things simple and less messages received |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm new on this site not new to others
It seems to me that women can be more selective as so many more guys just wanting to meet anybody and if didn't have a limit set just wouldn't be able to keep up with a full inbox all the time!
They can search and find you so if they like your profile and or photos they can always contact you first
Just my personal opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My age range is 45 - 55 yrs, I prefer men in my age group BUT....there are so few of them on this site and those that do message usually just type 'Hixx' and I just delete those messages!!
My profile states that men under 45yrs can't message me and I use the message filters....if I don't use the message filters I get a stupid amount of messages from 20-30 yr olds....my son is 21 lol.
Where are all the men of my age in my area hiding lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know men on here that lie about there age so it makes no difference.."
I meet women that are a lot older then their picture too, that can be really disappointing..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My upper age limit is 35...is not that there aren't guys older that I am attracted to but not many and my inbox was ridiculousy full of guys I wouldn't be interested in, when my preferences were set at 45, so I changed them to younger... I like guys that look the age I feel, not ones that look like they could be my dad
I like women that look the age I feel too But, you know what, swinging has opened my eyes to the beauty of my peers and elders... and there's something nice about being with someone who's a bit more on your wavelength.
Sex on Fab can sometimes be about which sweet has the nicest wrapper. But there's something to be said for being a bit deeper thinking than that. Awww who am I trying to convince? "
I have to like the face aswell as the attitude...bodytype is irrelevant though. I am not being shallow but I can't find everyone attractive, the majority of men over 35 I am not attracted to...under 35 is the opposite n I can't be arsed with the amount of messages I get now so.... there are always exceptions but I will find them. Plus if the wrapper is pretty but the attitude stinks they don't get anywhere ... but a nice personality with a face I don't find attractive won't make me fancy someone either |
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My age preference is set at 35-55. Although it isn't absolutely set in stone I wouldn't go too far either way.
I find I'm more attracted to people around my own age and a little older.
The few times I have played with guys under 30 have been a let down for various reasons so I wouldn't consider it nowadays. |
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"It's a sad fact of life that us old men continue to be attracted to younger women, but most won't be attracted to us.
Swinging opportunities will tend to decline once you are over fifty, at least for men. Nothing you can do about it I am afraid "
Doesn't sound too good for the 49 year old guys  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My upper age is set at 49, because generally I don't find people older attractive. However I haven't blocked those older from messaging, because there are sometimes people who are different for some reason and i do fancy them. I wouldn't exclude someone solely because of their age, but it does help filter down the thousands of single men on here a little.
One of my veris is from a guy in his 50's. I once got an abusive message from a muscular 21 year old who i'd not replied to, saying "What the fuck is wrong with you, you'll shag a wrinkly old man but not me". Erm, because he's not a complete prick... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have 55 as an upper age limit. There are some incredibly sexy 'older' guys . It's all about the person how they've looked after themselves, aged, confidence etc. I wouldn't want to overlook someone based purely on an age, if the attraction is there all good.
Everyone is different and we all like what we like |
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"I thought it was 49.
On this fine Tuesday, has anyone seen my glasses?
Did I ever tell you about that time before the Internet.....
did i miss monday somehow "
It was a jokey reference to the OPs statement about not knowing what day of the week it was.
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Lot's of interesting comments.
Thanks for the feedback.
Obviously there are some women who can tolerate us old geezers.
But it does seem in the main that most women wouldn't give us 45 + guy's a lookin.
We have always been truthful about our ages .
And will continue to be.
Personally I have alot to think about.
As a man approaching 50 , I am neither exceptional nor minging.
I am average looking, balding (not thru choice) greying been so since early 30,s.
Haven't got a huge cock or rippling abs.
As a couple we got the gym 4/5 days a week and workout very hard. I take care of how I look and smell .
The problem is as already mentioned there are many many guy's to choose from and women can be extremely fussy.
Even Very average looking women can be picky.
End of the day it's not the end of the world I have a beautiful wife and family.
Swinging is fun but it's not my life.
We have met socially mostly lots of great people and seen lots of stuff.
Swinging is a funny old game tbh.
On one side for women it can work wonders for self esteem and has definitely helped jools with her confidence.
And for guy's it can have the complete opposite effect.
Off for a nap .... |
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As a 50 year old, all I can say is that it reduces the number that will meet you, it does not reduce it to zero.
And there are ladies who have higher ages as their lower limit so it can open up more opportunities to meet as well.
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
"Age is just a number its how well you look after yourself.
Older men can be very sexy indeed! I prefer 39 to 49. 
So why do I feel like I'm on the fab scrap heap?"
I have absolutely no idea! If you feel like that then others will see you that way also |
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"Age is just a number its how well you look after yourself.
Older men can be very sexy indeed! I prefer 39 to 49.
So why do I feel like I'm on the fab scrap heap?
I have absolutely no idea! If you feel like that then others will see you that way also "
I don't feel like that but fab cleary isn't working for me - I suspect the age bias isn't working in my favour tho |
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The replies have certainly given me lot's to consider and where I stand. As the classic example of a couple where the woman is very much in demand and I do thus far seem to be along for the ride.
I think it's time to retreat and call it a day.
This is not a poor old me post.
It's me being realistic.
I think there are probably plenty of guy's my age who are also feeling that we are wasting our time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The replies have certainly given me lot's to consider and where I stand. As the classic example of a couple where the woman is very much in demand and I do thus far seem to be along for the ride.
I think it's time to retreat and call it a day.
This is not a poor old me post.
It's me being realistic.
I think there are probably plenty of guy's my age who are also feeling that we are wasting our time."
We had this discussion with some swinging friends of ours some time back. There was a sort conclusion that for the older gentlemen on the swing scene, they get more out of it if they enjoy their wife's fun, as opposed to regard their wife as a 'ticket' to the swing scene and expect equal amount of sex. My husband was once one of the young studs at parties (before my time), but now he has fun with the occasional lady, but the focus is more on me. It would be unrealistic to have the same quantity or frequency of partners as me, so we branded ourselves as a Hotwife couple. But from your profile it seems you both have a similar outlook to us, so enjoy |
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"The replies have certainly given me lot's to consider and where I stand. As the classic example of a couple where the woman is very much in demand and I do thus far seem to be along for the ride.
I think it's time to retreat and call it a day.
This is not a poor old me post.
It's me being realistic.
I think there are probably plenty of guy's my age who are also feeling that we are wasting our time.
We had this discussion with some swinging friends of ours some time back. There was a sort conclusion that for the older gentlemen on the swing scene, they get more out of it if they enjoy their wife's fun, as opposed to regard their wife as a 'ticket' to the swing scene and expect equal amount of sex. My husband was once one of the young studs at parties (before my time), but now he has fun with the occasional lady, but the focus is more on me. It would be unrealistic to have the same quantity or frequency of partners as me, so we branded ourselves as a Hotwife couple. But from your profile it seems you both have a similar outlook to us, so enjoy "
Hiya thanks for your reply.
Yes Mrs already has her own profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most womon commenting on there low age restrictions wouldn't get a meet if there were even men and women on here but the better looking women dont seem to have age restrictions strange"
Ooooh put your claws back in kitty |
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I set my age limit as I don't want to go with someone around my parents age.
Whilst my parents are older than 45, I find a lot of 45 year olds look older so if they look older I'm also not attracted to them. That said I have met some men that have been older than 45 and they don't look it and have happily played with them.
My age limit is just a guideline for on here, in person it is different, it is based on the person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ladies what is it about us guy's over 45 you don't like?
So many women have 45 as upper age limit,I know it's personal preference but what is it that puts you off ?
Is it the saggy balls,lack of own teeth, inability to remember the Day of the week,hairy back , constantly referencing stuff that you have no idea what we are talking about ( boys from the black stuff or Samantha fox or airwolf) for example.
Or our lack of stamina and sexual prowess ?
Are men over 45 really that unappealing?"
It is the 'Day of the week' thang
Mind you, we meet folk upto 60 and they have the 'Month of the Year' thang
- Mrs. J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree what someone said about sex appeal. I've only found 2 guys over 50 on here who I would, and I've met one, and the other I think is too far away. So my age limit got reduced and if I fancy someone then I can message them. |
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By *arrasicMan
over a year ago
birmingham |
"Most womon commenting on there low age restrictions wouldn't get a meet if there were even men and women on here but the better looking women dont seem to have age restrictions strange
Ooooh put your claws back in kitty "
There goes another one |
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Personally my parents had me quite young so my upper age limits only go to 45 because quite frankly I don't want to play with someone that's my parents age
I have made the odd exception if they've looked good for their age but generally though I know everything works and you can still fuck I just don't want you to do it with me
Hope that was the candid honesty you were looking for |
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