FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Blocked for not wanting kids?!
Blocked for not wanting kids?!
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Chatting with a person on here for a couple of weeks. Everything’s fine. Until the subject of Sammi having a kid comes up. I don’t spend much time with him and I tend to stay out of the way when they have their time together (he lives with his Dad).
The girl asks about it, we tell her... she says “when you commit to someone you commit to their child too”, like I said I beat the kid or something.
Then removes us from Kik and within seconds, we are blocked on here.
Do you REALLY give a shit if someone doesn’t have the same relationship with kids as you? Does it really affect if you’d enjoy sex with that person? Not in our book. She clearly loves her kid and it’s affecting her judgement because I don’t share her views but I didn’t suggest it was wrong, I just told her I didn’t spend much time with the kid. Venting really. Such a strange set of time wasters out there.
For the record, I’m super nice to the child and don’t treat him badly one bit.
Weird. Thanks for the vent  |
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"Sounds like entirely her problem, not yours. "
Absolutely but again, another time waster. You can’t be some kind of activist when it comes to this stuff... it’s a site to find people for fun. I have tons of good friends with kids and their views and mine don’t always match but I’m still good friends with them lol.
Seems so odd. She is missing out though for sure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds like entirely her problem, not yours.
Absolutely but again, another time waster. You can’t be some kind of activist when it comes to this stuff... it’s a site to find people for fun. I have tons of good friends with kids and their views and mine don’t always match but I’m still good friends with them lol.
Seems so odd. She is missing out though for sure "
Why are they a timewaster ? It seems you chatted to find out if you are suited to meet. They decided they dont want to meet you so they cut all ties. Seems a good way to do things to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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None of their business I say. It's hard not to talk personal stuff if you get chatting to people with a view to meeting. I guess as other posters say at least you found out before you met that they were a bit hard going and rather pompous and judgmental. |
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"Chatting with a person on here for a couple of weeks. Everything’s fine. Until the subject of Sammi having a kid comes up. I don’t spend much time with him and I tend to stay out of the way when they have their time together (he lives with his Dad).
The girl asks about it, we tell her... she says “when you commit to someone you commit to their child too”, like I said I beat the kid or something.
Then removes us from Kik and within seconds, we are blocked on here.
Do you REALLY give a shit if someone doesn’t have the same relationship with kids as you? Does it really affect if you’d enjoy sex with that person? Not in our book. She clearly loves her kid and it’s affecting her judgement because I don’t share her views but I didn’t suggest it was wrong, I just told her I didn’t spend much time with the kid. Venting really. Such a strange set of time wasters out there.
For the record, I’m super nice to the child and don’t treat him badly one bit.
Weird. Thanks for the vent "
Ok so here goes ...
First off , why did that have to come into the conversation in the first place ?
What interaction you have with your partners kid is no ones business but your own , so I don't get that at all .
Secondly , you are looking for single bi females , and in six months you haven't had that yet . Despite the fact that you're both hot .
So somewhere it isn't working guys , and the fact that this has happened may be why . |
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By *hil988Man
over a year ago
lichfield |
It all seems quite irrelevant to be honest. I think it is commendable to give them the space. You did not say you didn't like the child or was horrid to the child. Why would someone have a go about it? Ignore them. Rant away! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds like entirely her problem, not yours.
Absolutely but again, another time waster. You can’t be some kind of activist when it comes to this stuff... it’s a site to find people for fun. I have tons of good friends with kids and their views and mine don’t always match but I’m still good friends with them lol.
Seems so odd. She is missing out though for sure
Why are they a timewaster ? It seems you chatted to find out if you are suited to meet. They decided they dont want to meet you so they cut all ties. Seems a good way to do things to me."
they were my exact thoughts...we'd probably let them know that we didnt consider them compatible any longer and move on... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it isn't your child why should you automatically have a bond where you want to spend time together it may happen with time but it's far from compulsory. And certainly nothing to do with swinging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Chatting with a person on here for a couple of weeks. Everything’s fine. Until the subject of Sammi having a kid comes up. I don’t spend much time with him and I tend to stay out of the way when they have their time together (he lives with his Dad).
The girl asks about it, we tell her... she says “when you commit to someone you commit to their child too”, like I said I beat the kid or something.
Then removes us from Kik and within seconds, we are blocked on here.
Do you REALLY give a shit if someone doesn’t have the same relationship with kids as you? Does it really affect if you’d enjoy sex with that person? Not in our book. She clearly loves her kid and it’s affecting her judgement because I don’t share her views but I didn’t suggest it was wrong, I just told her I didn’t spend much time with the kid. Venting really. Such a strange set of time wasters out there.
For the record, I’m super nice to the child and don’t treat him badly one bit.
Weird. Thanks for the vent "
People are strange....I had someone ranting at me because I said I wasn't interested |
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"Sounds like entirely her problem, not yours.
Absolutely but again, another time waster. You can’t be some kind of activist when it comes to this stuff... it’s a site to find people for fun. I have tons of good friends with kids and their views and mine don’t always match but I’m still good friends with them lol.
Seems so odd. She is missing out though for sure
Why are they a timewaster ? It seems you chatted to find out if you are suited to meet. They decided they dont want to meet you so they cut all ties. Seems a good way to do things to me."
Friendly, all good. Then that clearly annoys her and she leaves the chat and blocks us.
No explaination, so a time waster. If you’re happy to have people blather on to you for a while and then “xxxx has left the chat” and you’re blocked on here for no good reason, that’s cool. But we are more polite than that. It was far more extreme than either of us expected. Very VERY judgemental too. But screw it. |
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"you just weren't compatible that's all.
she sees family, and bringing someone into that, as important. you not so much."
Swinging isn't bringing someone into your family tho, I wouldn't even expect to meet anyone's kids if we met up... |
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"All this anger over a fuck  "
Not angry at all. And not a fuck. Our time. Over a pathetic and irrelevant reason Just throwing it down. Isn’t that what the forums are for? To put up thoughts, opinions and stories? Don’t like it? Leave the thread |
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"Chatting with a person on here for a couple of weeks. Everything’s fine. Until the subject of Sammi having a kid comes up. I don’t spend much time with him and I tend to stay out of the way when they have their time together (he lives with his Dad).
The girl asks about it, we tell her... she says “when you commit to someone you commit to their child too”, like I said I beat the kid or something.
Then removes us from Kik and within seconds, we are blocked on here.
Do you REALLY give a shit if someone doesn’t have the same relationship with kids as you? Does it really affect if you’d enjoy sex with that person? Not in our book. She clearly loves her kid and it’s affecting her judgement because I don’t share her views but I didn’t suggest it was wrong, I just told her I didn’t spend much time with the kid. Venting really. Such a strange set of time wasters out there.
For the record, I’m super nice to the child and don’t treat him badly one bit.
Weird. Thanks for the vent
People are strange....I had someone ranting at me because I said I wasn't interested "
Yeah and that is stupid. But yeah lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All this anger over a fuck
Not angry at all. And not a fuck. Our time. Over a pathetic and irrelevant reason Just throwing it down. Isn’t that what the forums are for? To put up thoughts, opinions and stories? Don’t like it? Leave the thread "
She choose to not meet you. Get over it  |
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"Chatting with a person on here for a couple of weeks. Everything’s fine. Until the subject of Sammi having a kid comes up. I don’t spend much time with him and I tend to stay out of the way when they have their time together (he lives with his Dad).
The girl asks about it, we tell her... she says “when you commit to someone you commit to their child too”, like I said I beat the kid or something.
Then removes us from Kik and within seconds, we are blocked on here.
Do you REALLY give a shit if someone doesn’t have the same relationship with kids as you? Does it really affect if you’d enjoy sex with that person? Not in our book. She clearly loves her kid and it’s affecting her judgement because I don’t share her views but I didn’t suggest it was wrong, I just told her I didn’t spend much time with the kid. Venting really. Such a strange set of time wasters out there.
For the record, I’m super nice to the child and don’t treat him badly one bit.
Weird. Thanks for the vent
Ok so here goes ...
First off , why did that have to come into the conversation in the first place ?
What interaction you have with your partners kid is no ones business but your own , so I don't get that at all .
Secondly , you are looking for single bi females , and in six months you haven't had that yet . Despite the fact that you're both hot .
So somewhere it isn't working guys , and the fact that this has happened may be why ."
Not sure what you mean but we’ve only spoken to a small number of people on Fab. I’m quite unsure what you mean. We have found plenty of women here, but we only want to interact with people we find attractive. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"you just weren't compatible that's all.
she sees family, and bringing someone into that, as important. you not so much.
Swinging isn't bringing someone into your family tho, I wouldn't even expect to meet anyone's kids if we met up..."
maybe i should have said your morals don't align then.
i didn't mean she wanted to bring you into her family.  |
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"All this anger over a fuck
Not angry at all. And not a fuck. Our time. Over a pathetic and irrelevant reason Just throwing it down. Isn’t that what the forums are for? To put up thoughts, opinions and stories? Don’t like it? Leave the thread
She choose to not meet you. Get over it "
Hmm:.. clearly you’re be missed the point of this. I don’t mind that she didn’t want to meet. I just don’t like the way it is done by some people. Especially because she had been discussing a few minutes before a meet lol.
I’m not bothered by someone changing their mind. You don’t get my reason so you aren’t really adding anything useful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All this anger over a fuck
Not angry at all. And not a fuck. Our time. Over a pathetic and irrelevant reason Just throwing it down. Isn’t that what the forums are for? To put up thoughts, opinions and stories? Don’t like it? Leave the thread
She choose to not meet you. Get over it
Hmm:.. clearly you’re be missed the point of this. I don’t mind that she didn’t want to meet. I just don’t like the way it is done by some people. Especially because she had been discussing a few minutes before a meet lol.
I’m not bothered by someone changing their mind. You don’t get my reason so you aren’t really adding anything useful"
The way you're presenting yourself on here makes me think the girl made the right choice in not meeting you. |
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"All this anger over a fuck
Not angry at all. And not a fuck. Our time. Over a pathetic and irrelevant reason Just throwing it down. Isn’t that what the forums are for? To put up thoughts, opinions and stories? Don’t like it? Leave the thread
She choose to not meet you. Get over it
Hmm:.. clearly you’re be missed the point of this. I don’t mind that she didn’t want to meet. I just don’t like the way it is done by some people. Especially because she had been discussing a few minutes before a meet lol.
I’m not bothered by someone changing their mind. You don’t get my reason so you aren’t really adding anything useful
The way you're presenting yourself on here makes me think the girl made the right choice in not meeting you. "
Ok well thanks for your input |
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"Sounds like entirely her problem, not yours.
Absolutely but again, another time waster. You can’t be some kind of activist when it comes to this stuff... it’s a site to find people for fun. I have tons of good friends with kids and their views and mine don’t always match but I’m still good friends with them lol.
Seems so odd. She is missing out though for sure
Why are they a timewaster ? It seems you chatted to find out if you are suited to meet. They decided they dont want to meet you so they cut all ties. Seems a good way to do things to me.
we'd probably let them know that we didnt consider them compatible any longer and move on..."
That was my point. Which some people have missed. |
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I think we all use the site in a way that suits us and our requirements and if nothing else, the forums show us how different we all are. I wouldn't have asked about kids during messages but as someone already said, it may have been important to her. I wouldn't have called her a time waster for what she did - to me it was a time saver - you're obviously not suited and so she stopped communication in a way that suited her albeit in a way that irritated you. There's nowt so weird as folk and on here that is doubly true.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Looks like her loss from where I'm sitting!!
Your personal arrangements are no one else's business.
I can understand that you were probably just being friendly and having general chat.
Treat this as a learning curve, still be friendly but don't give too much information out to strangers you are meeting for sex. |
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"I think we all use the site in a way that suits us and our requirements and if nothing else, the forums show us how different we all are. I wouldn't have asked about kids during messages but as someone already said, it may have been important to her. I wouldn't have called her a time waster for what she did - to me it was a time saver - you're obviously not suited and so she stopped communication in a way that suited her albeit in a way that irritated you. There's nowt so weird as folk and on here that is doubly true. "
Well again, the rudeness was my main point. And as I said, I think it’s totally fair to say my views. Getting insulted by morons here wasn’t really necessary. I didn’t mention anyone by name and it was all around how rude and pointless the way it was handled was. Nothing more, nothing less. And it’s easy to type on a computer, so I write full sentences. I guess some people here got confused and thought I was angry. I wasn’t. I laughed when the girl removed herself immediately after she attempted to set up the meet and found out she didn’t like people that didn’t have a soft spot for kids. I just like to express my views.
Seems the forum is not really a place for that unless you want insults from people lol |
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"Looks like her loss from where I'm sitting!!
Your personal arrangements are no one else's business.
I can understand that you were probably just being friendly and having general chat.
Treat this as a learning curve, still be friendly but don't give too much information out to strangers you are meeting for sex."
Yeah, won’t waste any more time than we have on chatting. It’s a little boring. A lot of fakes and flakes anyway. Thank you. |
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"Chatting with a person on here for a couple of weeks. Everything’s fine. Until the subject of Sammi having a kid comes up. I don’t spend much time with him and I tend to stay out of the way when they have their time together (he lives with his Dad).
The girl asks about it, we tell her... she says “when you commit to someone you commit to their child too”, like I said I beat the kid or something.
Then removes us from Kik and within seconds, we are blocked on here.
Do you REALLY give a shit if someone doesn’t have the same relationship with kids as you? Does it really affect if you’d enjoy sex with that person? Not in our book. She clearly loves her kid and it’s affecting her judgement because I don’t share her views but I didn’t suggest it was wrong, I just told her I didn’t spend much time with the kid. Venting really. Such a strange set of time wasters out there.
For the record, I’m super nice to the child and don’t treat him badly one bit.
Weird. Thanks for the vent
Ok so here goes ...
First off , why did that have to come into the conversation in the first place ?
What interaction you have with your partners kid is no ones business but your own , so I don't get that at all .
Secondly , you are looking for single bi females , and in six months you haven't had that yet . Despite the fact that you're both hot .
So somewhere it isn't working guys , and the fact that this has happened may be why .
Not sure what you mean but we’ve only spoken to a small number of people on Fab. I’m quite unsure what you mean. We have found plenty of women here, but we only want to interact with people we find attractive. "
Of course you only want to interact with people you find attractive . Don't we all ?
The point I'm making us that clearly she was attractive to you , but chatting , and on social media too , led to this falling out . Over something that didn't need to come up at all !
Your profile is straightforward and to the point , yet here you are chatting about the kids . Why didn't you just arrange to meet her before getting into all that nonsense ?. |
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What’s funny is that this was just a mini rant about something that took all of about 14 seconds to write and post on my computer. And I didn’t expect anyone to give a shit. At least the place is active huh! Lol.
Seriously, the issue isn’t as grand as it may have seemed. Was a minor rant. I guess it can die off now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds like entirely her problem, not yours.
Absolutely but again, another time waster. You can’t be some kind of activist when it comes to this stuff... it’s a site to find people for fun. I have tons of good friends with kids and their views and mine don’t always match but I’m still good friends with them lol.
Seems so odd. She is missing out though for sure
Why are they a timewaster ? It seems you chatted to find out if you are suited to meet. They decided they dont want to meet you so they cut all ties. Seems a good way to do things to me.
Friendly, all good. Then that clearly annoys her and she leaves the chat and blocks us.
No explaination, so a time waster. If you’re happy to have people blather on to you for a while and then “xxxx has left the chat” and you’re blocked on here for no good reason, that’s cool. But we are more polite than that. It was far more extreme than either of us expected. Very VERY judgemental too. But screw it. "
I still think what they did was ok. I don't think they are timewasters at all. I chat to people to see if we get on. That's what they did. If, after a while, i decide we aren't suited then i stop chatting/ignore/block them. That's what they did. It sometimes takes a while of communication before i realise i don't like them and don't want to meet them and that seems to be their way too.
To me a timewaster is someone who arranges a day, time and place to meet but then doesn't turn up and doesn't bother to let me know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All this anger over a fuck
Not angry at all. And not a fuck. Our time. Over a pathetic and irrelevant reason Just throwing it down. Isn’t that what the forums are for? To put up thoughts, opinions and stories? Don’t like it? Leave the thread
She choose to not meet you. Get over it
Hmm:.. clearly you’re be missed the point of this. I don’t mind that she didn’t want to meet. I just don’t like the way it is done by some people. Especially because she had been discussing a few minutes before a meet lol.
I’m not bothered by someone changing their mind. You don’t get my reason so you aren’t really adding anything useful
The way you're presenting yourself on here makes me think the girl made the right choice in not meeting you. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we all use the site in a way that suits us and our requirements and if nothing else, the forums show us how different we all are. I wouldn't have asked about kids during messages but as someone already said, it may have been important to her. I wouldn't have called her a time waster for what she did - to me it was a time saver - you're obviously not suited and so she stopped communication in a way that suited her albeit in a way that irritated you. There's nowt so weird as folk and on here that is doubly true. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the truth be known most men come on here looking for a reason to fuck someone and most women come on here looking for a reason not to. She found her reason. Unfortunately it's the gauntlet all us guys have to hurdle when chatting with single women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ooh not nice. But to be fair. Certain people have certain limits. I've been put off by something that someone said while chatting. Do I think that makes me a timewaster, if I stop chatting? Not really. Otherwise every single member is a timewaster. You have your own pet hates, that was apparently one of hers. We all judge to a certain extent. It is human nature. Perhaps discussing personal life issues will stop this from happening again OP. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What’s funny is that this was just a mini rant about something that took all of about 14 seconds to write and post on my computer. And I didn’t expect anyone to give a shit. At least the place is active huh! Lol.
Seriously, the issue isn’t as grand as it may have seemed. Was a minor rant. I guess it can die off now "
...people like to give their opinions especially when someone posts something on the forums |
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"Ooh not nice. But to be fair. Certain people have certain limits. I've been put off by something that someone said while chatting. Do I think that makes me a timewaster, if I stop chatting? Not really. Otherwise every single member is a timewaster. You have your own pet hates, that was apparently one of hers. We all judge to a certain extent. It is human nature. Perhaps discussing personal life issues will stop this from happening again OP. Good luck "
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"If the truth be known most men come on here looking for a reason to fuck someone and most women come on here looking for a reason not to. She found her reason. Unfortunately it's the gauntlet all us guys have to hurdle when chatting with single women. "
Why do you say "most women come on here looking for a reason not to"?
Sally |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If the truth be known most men come on here looking for a reason to fuck someone and most women come on here looking for a reason not to. She found her reason. Unfortunately it's the gauntlet all us guys have to hurdle when chatting with single women.
Why do you say "most women come on here looking for a reason not to"?
Sally"
It's only our limited experience so it was partly tongue in cheek. But most guys would be knocking on the door after receiving a single "do you want to meet?" message from a blank female profile whilst most women demand a perfectly played 2 month long series of communications in which nothing remotely unsexy or unfishy is implied in any combination of words from a male profile that has just the right balance of slightly erotic but not too erotic photographs and just the right interesting but not too off centre write up before starting to think "hmmm maybe I might meet, fall in love, marry this guy". Of course... another bit of tongue in cheek... but darn it seems pretty close to the truth |
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