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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
First up I'd remove the opening statement about you being a larger guy - why draw attention to it - people will decide from your pictures which clearly show the true you.
As for the married thing - you could possibly word that better as a lot of people will get to the word 'married' and discount you without going on to read that you're here with your wife's knowledge.
If your wife is also here and you have a couples profile I'd reference both of them by name - which shows clarity and allows people to cross-reference if they want to. I am in a similar position to you and that's exactly what I have done and seems to work 
I'd re-word the following "I'm not looking to fuck anything that breaths there has to be some kind of spark/connection or it just wont work." as the opening part just comes across as crude - perhaps just put "Looking to meet a select few where there's a spark/connection" - and take out the bit about fucking anything that breathes.
Whilst it's good you'very referenced your boundaries - I'd take out the "just seems wrong" bit - there night be people that do enjoy it who would be put off contacting you if it wasn't important to them that you didn't like it.
Other than that it's ok - would maybe consider some more pics that show off your body - I'm personally not a fan of football shirt pics but that's just my opinion.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"First up I'd remove the opening statement about you being a larger guy - why draw attention to it - people will decide from your pictures which clearly show the true you.
As for the married thing - you could possibly word that better as a lot of people will get to the word 'married' and discount you without going on to read that you're here with your wife's knowledge.
If your wife is also here and you have a couples profile I'd reference both of them by name - which shows clarity and allows people to cross-reference if they want to. I am in a similar position to you and that's exactly what I have done and seems to work
I'd re-word the following "I'm not looking to fuck anything that breaths there has to be some kind of spark/connection or it just wont work." as the opening part just comes across as crude - perhaps just put "Looking to meet a select few where there's a spark/connection" - and take out the bit about fucking anything that breathes.
Whilst it's good you'very referenced your boundaries - I'd take out the "just seems wrong" bit - there night be people that do enjoy it who would be put off contacting you if it wasn't important to them that you didn't like it.
Other than that it's ok - would maybe consider some more pics that show off your body - I'm personally not a fan of football shirt pics but that's just my opinion.
Good luck "
Some changes made will get some better pics as time allows bit does this improve things |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Definite improvement - one thing I'd change that I didn't spot before is the "face buried in a woman's pussy" thing - just come across a little vulgar to me - but some may like that, is just a personal observation.
The last paragraph I'd reword a little along the following lines:
"I'm here with the full knowledge of my wife who gets a kick out of me receiving attention from other women and actively encourages it, she also has her own singles profile (insert profile name) and we have a couples profile (insert profile name) both of which can be checked if necessary"
Just makes it clearer and removes the opener of "I'm married..." which some may not get past |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The last paragraph I'd reword a little along the following lines:
"I'm here with the full knowledge of my wife who gets a kick out of me receiving attention from other women and actively encourages it, she also has her own singles profile (insert profile name) and we have a couples profile (insert profile name) both of which can be checked if necessary"
Just makes it clearer and removes the opener of "I'm married..." which some may not get past "
Thanks definitely sounds better that way |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Pretty much nailed it - I'd actually take out the 'I guess i should tell you what I'm looking for.' line as it's unnecessary and puts the emphasis on what YOU want rather than what the reader might want |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Pretty much nailed it - I'd actually take out the 'I guess i should tell you what I'm looking for.' line as it's unnecessary and puts the emphasis on what YOU want rather than what the reader might want "
Done thanks for the input...anybody else have an opinion good or bad  |
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