FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why? Oh why?
Why? Oh why?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" Do men feel the need to cheat, even when the sex at home is 100% good!!!!!!!!
What are your thoughts OP? "
Tbh I really don't know, is it the thrill of the Chase, power??? |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Perhaps the sex isnt as good as you think.
Anyway, amazing sex doesnt mean people won't look for more elsewhere. Monogamy isn't the default position for humans. Its a false construct imposed on us by society. |
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No idea why some men or women do this.
Maybe the sex is 100% good for one partner and not the other.
Maybe they think 100% sex with two people is better than with one.
Maybe they have resentment issues.
Maybe...
Unfortunately there are hundreds of reasons but the ones that apply to your situation can only be discovered by direct communication. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swinging is in my view a way of life, both sexes cheat for their own reasons as a couple on here it's seen as OK for one or the other to play on their own but as a single if married and honest about it it's still deemed wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Variety I would imagine. As someone who is not naturally monogamous, it doesn't matter how good the sex is at home, there is always the possibility of slightly different sex elsewhere. I see it as the best sex at home equate to having the same magnificent meal every day with no variety. Thankfully I married a man who doesn't mind me getting that variety. But given that I'm like this, it's not just men who suffer from this problem.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Variety I would imagine. As someone who is not naturally monogamous, it doesn't matter how good the sex is at home, there is always the possibility of slightly different sex elsewhere. I see it as the best sex at home equate to having the same magnificent meal every day with no variety. Thankfully I married a man who doesn't mind me getting that variety. But given that I'm like this, it's not just men who suffer from this problem.
Mrs"
Just annoying as he would go mad if I did the same.......as I said not got 100% proof, just wish vanilla people were more honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That thread makes no sense to me. You're talking about your husband, but you have a FF profile, and you're on a swinging website and wondering why some men do feel the need to see other people, then if they're cheating that's an other story ofc.
But also, it's easy to say : Sex at home is amazing. But seems like it's not his point of view, and as some other said : maybe it's not the sex he's looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That thread makes no sense to me. You're talking about your husband, but you have a FF profile, and you're on a swinging website and wondering why some men do feel the need to see other people, then if they're cheating that's an other story ofc.
But also, it's easy to say : Sex at home is amazing. But seems like it's not his point of view, and as some other said : maybe it's not the sex he's looking for."
That was me and my mate 2 years ago. I've since been in a vanilla relationship, but my gut is telling me he's cheating. Calm down people. Simply asking as I was a party girl, you name it, I've done it.
Met a vanilla guy outside of fab, but I'm thinking maybe guys whatever situation want their cake and eat it. |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
A person doesn't always cheat because of sex.
Also what you may find good perhaps he doesn't.
People often stray because they are lacking affection, want an escape or just because they do.
Men and women alike.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That thread makes no sense to me. You're talking about your husband, but you have a FF profile, and you're on a swinging website and wondering why some men do feel the need to see other people, then if they're cheating that's an other story ofc.
But also, it's easy to say : Sex at home is amazing. But seems like it's not his point of view, and as some other said : maybe it's not the sex he's looking for.
That was me and my mate 2 years ago. I've since been in a vanilla relationship, but my gut is telling me he's cheating. Calm down people. Simply asking as I was a party girl, you name it, I've done it.
Met a vanilla guy outside of fab, but I'm thinking maybe guys whatever situation want their cake and eat it. "
I think you are probably right, but I don't think it's just men. I think current statistics are that slightly less than 50% of the UK population have cheated at some point. When I got married I regarded it that I had a 50/50 chance of that happening to me.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A person doesn't always cheat because of sex.
Also what you may find good perhaps he doesn't.
People often stray because they are lacking affection, want an escape or just because they do.
Men and women alike.
"
Believe me he gets tons of affection. I'm thinking I've only been with him a year and 3 months, we both have pasts, he doesn't know about mine, and really it's none of my business what he's done in the past. But it seems he still hangs on to his exs, where I have stopped contact with all my past shags.
But then again actions speak louder than words. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A person doesn't always cheat because of sex.
Also what you may find good perhaps he doesn't.
People often stray because they are lacking affection, want an escape or just because they do.
Men and women alike.
Believe me he gets tons of affection. I'm thinking I've only been with him a year and 3 months, we both have pasts, he doesn't know about mine, and really it's none of my business what he's done in the past. But it seems he still hangs on to his exs, where I have stopped contact with all my past shags.
But then again actions speak louder than words. "
Maybe if you both discussed your past and his, you could both get some gremlins out in the open? I feel it's hard to trust and be honest if you don't know everything about each other? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A person doesn't always cheat because of sex.
Also what you may find good perhaps he doesn't.
People often stray because they are lacking affection, want an escape or just because they do.
Men and women alike.
Believe me he gets tons of affection. I'm thinking I've only been with him a year and 3 months, we both have pasts, he doesn't know about mine, and really it's none of my business what he's done in the past. But it seems he still hangs on to his exs, where I have stopped contact with all my past shags.
But then again actions speak louder than words. "
That doesn't necessarily mean he's fucking them though. They could be friends.
Have you asked him about it?
Your pasts are irrelevant. If you agreed to a monogamous relationship and he's fucking someone else that's cheating.
Is there a chance he found out about your past? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Then, if your guts tells you so, why don't you confront him/talk about it to him instead of speculating here ?
The lack of communication is usually the most common reason for couples to have troubles/split up/etc.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Then, if your guts tells you so, why don't you confront him/talk about it to him instead of speculating here ?
The lack of communication is usually the most common reason for couples to have troubles/split up/etc.
"
You are correct and I will. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A person doesn't always cheat because of sex.
Also what you may find good perhaps he doesn't.
People often stray because they are lacking affection, want an escape or just because they do.
Men and women alike.
Believe me he gets tons of affection. I'm thinking I've only been with him a year and 3 months, we both have pasts, he doesn't know about mine, and really it's none of my business what he's done in the past. But it seems he still hangs on to his exs, where I have stopped contact with all my past shags.
But then again actions speak louder than words.
That doesn't necessarily mean he's fucking them though. They could be friends.
Have you asked him about it?
Your pasts are irrelevant. If you agreed to a monogamous relationship and he's fucking someone else that's cheating.
Is there a chance he found out about your past? "
No chance, we don't check each other's phones, it's qùite a healthy relationship, but I phoned him few nights ago, thinking he was on night shift, and a woman answered the phone, she took great delight in telling me she's known him for 24 years, and they lived together for 5 years.
She told me they don't have sex anymore, he's an engineer and she calls him now and again to do jobs around the house.
She advised me to leave him, as he will never stick to one woman. Confused.com. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A person doesn't always cheat because of sex.
Also what you may find good perhaps he doesn't.
People often stray because they are lacking affection, want an escape or just because they do.
Men and women alike.
Believe me he gets tons of affection. I'm thinking I've only been with him a year and 3 months, we both have pasts, he doesn't know about mine, and really it's none of my business what he's done in the past. But it seems he still hangs on to his exs, where I have stopped contact with all my past shags.
But then again actions speak louder than words.
That doesn't necessarily mean he's fucking them though. They could be friends.
Have you asked him about it?
Your pasts are irrelevant. If you agreed to a monogamous relationship and he's fucking someone else that's cheating.
Is there a chance he found out about your past?
No chance, we don't check each other's phones, it's qùite a healthy relationship, but I phoned him few nights ago, thinking he was on night shift, and a woman answered the phone, she took great delight in telling me she's known him for 24 years, and they lived together for 5 years.
She told me they don't have sex anymore, he's an engineer and she calls him now and again to do jobs around the house.
She advised me to leave him, as he will never stick to one woman. Confused.com. "
Why didn't you ask him about it the next day? She may have just been stirring it because she's a jealous ex. He may have been round helping her.
Still shit to not tell you though.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A person doesn't always cheat because of sex.
Also what you may find good perhaps he doesn't.
People often stray because they are lacking affection, want an escape or just because they do.
Men and women alike.
Believe me he gets tons of affection. I'm thinking I've only been with him a year and 3 months, we both have pasts, he doesn't know about mine, and really it's none of my business what he's done in the past. But it seems he still hangs on to his exs, where I have stopped contact with all my past shags.
But then again actions speak louder than words.
That doesn't necessarily mean he's fucking them though. They could be friends.
Have you asked him about it?
Your pasts are irrelevant. If you agreed to a monogamous relationship and he's fucking someone else that's cheating.
Is there a chance he found out about your past?
No chance, we don't check each other's phones, it's qùite a healthy relationship, but I phoned him few nights ago, thinking he was on night shift, and a woman answered the phone, she took great delight in telling me she's known him for 24 years, and they lived together for 5 years.
She told me they don't have sex anymore, he's an engineer and she calls him now and again to do jobs around the house.
She advised me to leave him, as he will never stick to one woman. Confused.com.
Why didn't you ask him about it the next day? She may have just been stirring it because she's a jealous ex. He may have been round helping her.
Still shit to not tell you though. "
We did talk about it, and he was very annoyed that she answered the phone. Definitely she was stirring........im quite a good judge of people.......but once that seed is planted in your brain, it grows very quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is your man cheating OP? 
I've not got 100% proof, but you know that gut instinct never lies. "
Sorry to hear that OP I do hope in this case you're wrong Mrs Kx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is your man cheating OP?
I've not got 100% proof, but you know that gut instinct never lies.
Sorry to hear that OP I do hope in this case you're wrong Mrs Kx"
Thanks. I hope I'm wrong too. |
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"Why is it always assumed that the men are the cheats there are plenty of women out there doing it"
I don't know. I think it might be because men tend to be much more vocal about it. I have noticed though that there seems to be a very stereotyped image of "cheating men" and innocent wives and families at home wringing their hands and rending their garments.
However where this threads concerned the op has concerns about her male partner. |
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I realise that but this is not a problem with all men. Trust me I know what that nagging feeling is like and how it feels when it is proved to be right the problem is with cheating partners not cheating men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been cheated on, more than once (begining to think It's something I do wrong!!!) I have never, nor would I ever cheat. I would rather be honest and say something isn't working (male half here) |
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People cheat because they like sex. As someone said above, the fact that a particular restaurant serves your all time favourite food does not mean you won't visit other restaurants.
I am also of the view that some people are just not naturally monogamous but there is such a strong societal myth that the only proper relationships are monogamous ones that people like that have huge problems being open about their desires. Hence they act on them in secret.
On a side note, it's interesting that it's now much more socially acceptable to be gay than non monogamous. There are specific laws protecting the former from discrimination, but not the latter. |
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not cheating I guess as she knows. 