FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Get my bf out of his vanilla shell
Get my bf out of his vanilla shell
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The same advice I'd offer a single guy, talk to him about it. Bring up the idea of making his fantasy a reality and gauge his reaction. Communication is the key. |
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Talk to him and really listen to what he says. Not knowing either of you I have no idea where to "start him off" and I doubt he's genuinely up for anything.
Approach him with respect and affection and if he says no don't hassle him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Talk to him openly and tell him how much fun you could have together. If he loves you enough he should want to do things to make you happy, and consider your wants and needs as well as his own. Good luck. |
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"Talk to him openly and tell him how much fun you could have together. If he loves you enough he should want to do things to make you happy, and consider your wants and needs as well as his own. Good luck. "
I don't think it's a measure of someone's love  |
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"Talk to him openly and tell him how much fun you could have together. If he loves you enough he should want to do things to make you happy, and consider your wants and needs as well as his own. Good luck.
I don't think it's a measure of someone's love "
Agree,people should only do what they feel comfortable with be it a man or woman.
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Talk to him openly and tell him how much fun you could have together. If he loves you enough he should want to do things to make you happy, and consider your wants and needs as well as his own. Good luck.
I don't think it's a measure of someone's love "
Obviously not, I didn't mean that. I was trying to express how a relationship is a 2 way thing, both people need to be happy and consider each other's wants and needs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Talk to him openly and tell him how much fun you could have together. If he loves you enough he should want to do things to make you happy, and consider your wants and needs as well as his own. Good luck.
I don't think it's a measure of someone's love
Agree,people should only do what they feel comfortable with be it a man or woman.
Miss"
So what about if one partner really wants to swing and the other doesn't? Then what? As one person is going to be left unhappy. |
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"Talk to him openly and tell him how much fun you could have together. If he loves you enough he should want to do things to make you happy, and consider your wants and needs as well as his own. Good luck.
I don't think it's a measure of someone's love
Agree,people should only do what they feel comfortable with be it a man or woman.
Miss
So what about if one partner really wants to swing and the other doesn't? Then what? As one person is going to be left unhappy."
So you think the one who doesnt want to should compromise? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Talk to him openly and tell him how much fun you could have together. If he loves you enough he should want to do things to make you happy, and consider your wants and needs as well as his own. Good luck.
I don't think it's a measure of someone's love
Agree,people should only do what they feel comfortable with be it a man or woman.
Miss
So what about if one partner really wants to swing and the other doesn't? Then what? As one person is going to be left unhappy.
So you think the one who doesnt want to should compromise? "
No I didn't say that. |
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"Talk to him openly and tell him how much fun you could have together. If he loves you enough he should want to do things to make you happy, and consider your wants and needs as well as his own. Good luck.
I don't think it's a measure of someone's love
Agree,people should only do what they feel comfortable with be it a man or woman.
Miss
So what about if one partner really wants to swing and the other doesn't? Then what? As one person is going to be left unhappy.
So you think the one who doesnt want to should compromise?
No I didn't say that."
Either way someone will be unhappy,hence. Why many are on here without other halves knowing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Talk to him openly and tell him how much fun you could have together. If he loves you enough he should want to do things to make you happy, and consider your wants and needs as well as his own. Good luck.
I don't think it's a measure of someone's love
Agree,people should only do what they feel comfortable with be it a man or woman.
Miss
So what about if one partner really wants to swing and the other doesn't? Then what? As one person is going to be left unhappy.
So you think the one who doesnt want to should compromise?
No I didn't say that.
Either way someone will be unhappy,hence. Why many are on here without other halves knowing."
Exactly, no easy answer, someone has to compromise. Yet 'cheaters' get slated, hardly fair. |
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"Talk to him openly and tell him how much fun you could have together. If he loves you enough he should want to do things to make you happy, and consider your wants and needs as well as his own. Good luck.
I don't think it's a measure of someone's love
Agree,people should only do what they feel comfortable with be it a man or woman.
Miss"
What people feel comfortable with changes over time |
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By *issLiss OP Couple
over a year ago
south east |
Thanks for the replies. We have spoken about loads of fantasies. I'm Bi so really want a MFF. Love the idea of dogging, clubs, couples, Bdsm and he just gets off on me getting off so he tells me he's up for anything I want to do... just not sure where to start to test him as sometimes fantasy is better than reality |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"So my bf is seriously up for anything as he hasn't been with many open minded girls until me  his biggest turn on is getting me off but im not sure where to start him off... any ideas? "
How do you know he's up for anything? He might be up for anything with you but seeing you taking multiple cocks or have a muff over your face might be a little tough to handle.
If he is up for anything, a club might be the best option where you just play in front of others, then have others join in on later visits. |
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"So my bf is seriously up for anything as he hasn't been with many open minded girls until me his biggest turn on is getting me off but im not sure where to start him off... any ideas?
How do you know he's up for anything? He might be up for anything with you but seeing you taking multiple cocks or have a muff over your face might be a little tough to handle.
If he is up for anything, a club might be the best option where you just play in front of others, then have others join in on later visits. "
Agreed. I'm a bit wary of people who say they're up for anything. It gives you no guide on limits and puts you in the position of being guardian of their unknown boundaries. Would he for instance be happy to have sex with a guy if it pleased the op or indulge in heavy bdsm. Find out what up for anything means then take it from there. |
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"So my bf is seriously up for anything as he hasn't been with many open minded girls until me his biggest turn on is getting me off but im not sure where to start him off... any ideas?
How do you know he's up for anything? He might be up for anything with you but seeing you taking multiple cocks or have a muff over your face might be a little tough to handle.
If he is up for anything, a club might be the best option where you just play in front of others, then have others join in on later visits.
Agreed. I'm a bit wary of people who say they're up for anything. It gives you no guide on limits and puts you in the position of being guardian of their unknown boundaries. Would he for instance be happy to have sex with a guy if it pleased the op or indulge in heavy bdsm. Find out what up for anything means then take it from there."
Introduce him to glosswingers and then we'll see if he's really "up for anything"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the replies. We have spoken about loads of fantasies. I'm Bi so really want a MFF. Love the idea of dogging, clubs, couples, Bdsm and he just gets off on me getting off so he tells me he's up for anything I want to do... just not sure where to start to test him as sometimes fantasy is better than reality "
Tell him you've been meeting people for at least the last 3 years and now he can be a cuck in the relationship.
If it all goes tits up and he doesn't like the reality of actually seeing you naked with other people he may decide to break up with you and find someone where fantasy stays just where it is in a fantasy.
Lets be fair here people if this post was written by a guy there would be cries of "don't push it" and "show her your profile on here and see what happens" |
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"Thanks for the replies. We have spoken about loads of fantasies. I'm Bi so really want a MFF. Love the idea of dogging, clubs, couples, Bdsm and he just gets off on me getting off so he tells me he's up for anything I want to do... just not sure where to start to test him as sometimes fantasy is better than reality
Tell him you've been meeting people for at least the last 3 years and now he can be a cuck in the relationship.
If it all goes tits up and he doesn't like the reality of actually seeing you naked with other people he may decide to break up with you and find someone where fantasy stays just where it is in a fantasy.
Lets be fair here people if this post was written by a guy there would be cries of "don't push it" and "show her your profile on here and see what happens" "
He knows she's on here. |
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"Talk to him openly and tell him how much fun you could have together. If he loves you enough he should want to do things to make you happy, and consider your wants and needs as well as his own. Good luck.
I don't think it's a measure of someone's love
Agree,people should only do what they feel comfortable with be it a man or woman.
Miss
So what about if one partner really wants to swing and the other doesn't? Then what? As one person is going to be left unhappy.
So you think the one who doesnt want to should compromise?
No I didn't say that.
Either way someone will be unhappy,hence. Why many are on here without other halves knowing.
Exactly, no easy answer, someone has to compromise. Yet 'cheaters' get slated, hardly fair."
Agree its a tough situation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my bf is seriously up for anything as he hasn't been with many open minded girls until me his biggest turn on is getting me off but im not sure where to start him off... any ideas?
How do you know he's up for anything? He might be up for anything with you but seeing you taking multiple cocks or have a muff over your face might be a little tough to handle.
If he is up for anything, a club might be the best option where you just play in front of others, then have others join in on later visits.
Agreed. I'm a bit wary of people who say they're up for anything. It gives you no guide on limits and puts you in the position of being guardian of their unknown boundaries. Would he for instance be happy to have sex with a guy if it pleased the op or indulge in heavy bdsm. Find out what up for anything means then take it from there.
Introduce him to glosswingers and then we'll see if he's really "up for anything" "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How about a club?
You could relax, chat to others over a drink, be voyeuristic whilst telling him what turns you on, maybe progress to soft play...."
This worked for me with an ex. Started with regular soft play and then spiralled out of control from there!!!! |
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Ask him what he fantasies about, what porn has piqued his interest. If he finds it too difficult to say initially, get him to write it down. I do this with my subs as they tend to open up a lot more this way |
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"Ask him what he fantasies about, what porn has piqued his interest. If he finds it too difficult to say initially, get him to write it down. I do this with my subs as they tend to open up a lot more this way"
Ooh nice move |
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"So my bf is seriously up for anything as he hasn't been with many open minded girls until me his biggest turn on is getting me off but im not sure where to start him off... any ideas? "
He's a jammy bastard |
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What about "look but don't touch" taster-sessions visiting clubs? Opposite of "talk about" - show all the range of things on offer - all the amazing things which people do to each other. Visit BDSM clubs, swinging clubs, etc. People there respect the space of people who are there to look. You might find people who they have seen doing "astonishing" things come along and chat for a while - volunteer insights, etc.
So that is about letting huge amounts of activity "wash over you" and sense what excites and / or tweaks built-in urges.
Sometimes it reinforces what you already sensed anyway - other times new things light-up which you absolutely didn't know about before. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when you both have time to talk andchillout and or even play, ask him if he has any fantasys or things that particularly turn him on and reassure promise you will help him fulfil them no matter what they might be ,
be carefull he may ask for something you may not like |
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