FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why is fab a buyer's market
Why is fab a buyer's market
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'll be making a few points myself later, but for now I'd like you're opinions. Why do you think women and couples are the successful ones in the site, and how hot / socially competent do you think a single guy had to be to get similar treatment? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a numbers game. Ten times more single men than ladies and couples added together.
Try a search. Ladies seeking men in your area. Count the number online then reverse the search and count again
D and L |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its a numbers game. Ten times more single men than ladies and couples added together.
Try a search. Ladies seeking men in your area. Count the number online then reverse the search and count again
D and L "
Exactly this x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll be making a few points myself later, but for now I'd like you're opinions. Why do you think women and couples are the successful ones in the site, and how hot / socially competent do you think a single guy had to be to get similar treatment?"
Women and couples are successful because there is more single males, therefore it's the simple thing of the supply and demands.
And no need to be socially competent/hot, if you show people that you're genuine and not a moron, everything's gonna be fine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because the site is saturated with men. It's that simple"
Agreed. The clear abundance of men makes them less desirable, as well as a lot of men often letting couples etc down.
It's very easy for a couple/single woman to find a meet with a man on here, whereas a man finding a couple/single woman is more of a struggle.
It's the thrill of the chase! |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
What the others have said! Volume of guys is overwhelming. Due to that quantity the "buyers" have choice.
As per the other thread, it means guys have to make far more effort to stand out (though really everyone should make the effort if they want to have sex with someone else!) |
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Emotional intelligence can be conveyed on here without playing games.
Just by being normal, starting a conversation, show a little humour, this site's actually pretty good.
Personally I don't worry that it's saturated with men. Many of which are younger, and more endowed. I'm comfortable enough to know I can offer something they can't and will exploit that to my advantage. Making friends along the way.  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I'm not successful on here, I don't know why so many think the grass is always greener!
Just because we get loads of messages it doesn't make it easier for us, I'd rather get one decent message than hundreds of crap ones that just say 'Hi'  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'll be making a few points myself later, but for now I'd like you're opinions. Why do you think women and couples are the successful ones in the site, and how hot / socially competent do you think a single guy had to be to get similar treatment?
Women and couples are successful because there is more single males, therefore it's the simple thing of the supply and demands.
And no need to be socially competent/hot, if you show people that you're genuine and not a moron, everything's gonna be fine."
Not a moron and and genuine is socially competent. At least in my eyes. I don't mean has a fantastic job and a shit ton of money. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the obvious ratio of men to women is a big factor, but as you mention social competence, to me, that is the main reason, that most male profiles are a complete waste of time on here.
I have no idea where Fab is advertised, or what other sites it pops up on but from the majority of male profiles and messages i've seen, i would imagine it's somewhere that leaves the impression that you just join then immediately start scheduling your many many NSA meets you have lined up in your first couple of days..i really have no idea why most of the male profiles on here, are on here at all, other than to look at pics..seems to be a huge, time wasting exercise in disillusionment.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not successful on here, I don't know why so many think the grass is always greener!
Just because we get loads of messages it doesn't make it easier for us, I'd rather get one decent message than hundreds of crap ones that just say 'Hi' "
I'd hazard a guess that had a lot of guys not been made to feel like it was an uphill struggle, and convincing themselves that at least some of the girls on here are total sluts because they're in a swingers site (silly boys), they end up feeling effort is pointless, as the right slut will message back, and they can make effort then. It's too late idiots. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because the hot guys can't string a sentence together and the guys who can string a sentence together aren't hot  "
Some can, but the majority of hot guys know what effort isn't required. Shallow girls exist, and many of them will ignore a lack of social skills in order to have a bit of sexy fun, so these hot guys have no incentive to make an effort, because they're gonna get it anyway. |
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Im a genuine, non pushy, definitely single guy. I only ever send normal messages where i give basics about myself and try to comment on something i have read in a profile. I always read full profiles. Always check age limits. Only really message couples and single females who i fit their requirements. I have decent new verifications, looking for friends as well as fun. Would love to find a fwb or ltr with the right single lady within the life. But if you face doesnt fit it can be game over however you come across in your message. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Women and couples are the successful ones?
Surely the successful ones are the successful ones, regardless of gender or relationship status."
Because it's far easier get someones attention if you're a single girl or couple on here. Its unfortunately a fact at this point.
The successful guys all seem to have at least one Highly Desirable Trait.
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"I'm not successful on here, I don't know why so many think the grass is always greener!
Just because we get loads of messages it doesn't make it easier for us, I'd rather get one decent message than hundreds of crap ones that just say 'Hi' "
Makes the good ones stand out even more though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not successful on here, I don't know why so many think the grass is always greener!
Just because we get loads of messages it doesn't make it easier for us, I'd rather get one decent message than hundreds of crap ones that just say 'Hi' "
I completely agree, I prefer to send decent messages than just the simple "wanna fuck" you have to show effort and not be lazy about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyway, the only reason women and couple can be picky is because of the supply/demand thing, more men than anything else. Simple as that."
there may be more men in actual numbers on here, but as far as messages/profiles worth even reading, they are few and far between, so the actual pool of male profiles left to chose from is not as big as might appear at first glance..which you would think might give some incentive to make a bit of an effort..but clearly not.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll be making a few points myself later, but for now I'd like you're opinions. Why do you think women and couples are the successful ones in the site, and how hot / socially competent do you think a single guy had to be to get similar treatment?"
Does this really even need to be asked? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not all women want a guy with a huge cock .. or a guy who has bulging muscles and a six pack. I have my likes and it seems strange that I have had abuse in messages for preferring a guy less toned and maybe bigger than a gym fit junkie. So each to their own but of course the gym fit, young good looking guys are not going to have too many problems meeting lots of women, if they so choose.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyway, the only reason women and couple can be picky is because of the supply/demand thing, more men than anything else. Simple as that.
there may be more men in actual numbers on here, but as far as messages/profiles worth even reading, they are few and far between, so the actual pool of male profiles left to chose from is not as big as might appear at first glance..which you would think might give some incentive to make a bit of an effort..but clearly not.."
Absolutely agree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just a single guy...there are a lot of us. I'm really not hot or a gym bunny...
And from what I see there are many localish groups who meet each other regularly..nothing wrong with that but often they do not seek single guys or move outside their own circle of friends and contacts. Bit like the real world thst last part.
Single or married girls will never have trouble getting meets here if they want them but that depends on what they seek.
Like all single guys here sometimes the thought of more meets can be attractive but then if you just want to hook up there's bars clubs other sites.
If I'm going to meet then the connection needs to be more than just a random fuck...otherwise what's the point. I think a number of guys probably think in the same way...if you don't get into my head anything else is just friction..
So yeah it can be harder for us single guys but the choice is simple...no one forces anyone to either stay or meet..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll be making a few points myself later, but for now I'd like you're opinions. Why do you think women and couples are the successful ones in the site, and how hot / socially competent do you think a single guy had to be to get similar treatment?"
Shit loads of couples/women to men ratio meand they can be choosey. Men only get anywhere if muscular/fit and socially savy as you say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll be making a few points myself later, but for now I'd like you're opinions. Why do you think women and couples are the successful ones in the site, and how hot / socially competent do you think a single guy had to be to get similar treatment?
Shit loads of couples/women to men ratio meand they can be choosey. Men only get anywhere if muscular/fit and socially savy as you say"
Not just on fab but in clubs.
I have been to a few and is daunting when getting ignored in clubs, which, in my experience are very cliquey |
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By *bear25Man
over a year ago
Maidstone |
It's not that hard to be successful on fab as a single guy.
I have met c50/60 couples and women over about 4 years from fab (with a bit of a break).
Just be yourself, not an arse who expects every women to throw themselves at your feet and be normal. Arrogance and expectations are not attractive traits.
To many people expect constant sex from here rather than understanding swinging is way more than that. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
i think it's because men aren't that fussy, the naive think they're gonna get hot sex with anything on here and approach us in that way.
the more socialised aren't pushy, but maybe because of that they also don't push enough. like they're fine with flirting and chatting but don't push for anything more than that. they wait for cues from women or couples who might not be willing to give them as they're used to being chased.
manipulative men tend to do quite well online, they know what women want to hear and so tell them whatever to get what they want. this bodes well for them as there is always a supply of naive women looking for something more (hence new profiles get messaged the shit out of them)...but then these women get sick of their shit and more cynical and stop meeting. maybe couples stop too.
men tend to go for quantity over quality. they don't go for repeat meets or quality meets, they try to fuck the whole site then get frustrated when they find out less women are into that. and so class themselves as failures.
women are objectified more by men, and so are always held as attractive no matter what, men not so much by women. majority of women have high standards for what they look for in a man and so the guys who fit that standard have more success, and those outside of it less success.
men think lack of effort will work. it probably won't.
men aren't good at judging the compatibility of who they approach. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are lots of men on here who are more successful than me. Are they lucky? More desirable than other men or better at selling themselves?"
Your doing a lot better than me matey so not all bad news  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Emotional intelligence can be conveyed on here without playing games.
Just by being normal, starting a conversation, show a little humour, this site's actually pretty good.
"
This!!
a thousand times this.
having read wuite a few peoples in boxes (with thier permision) i can say as a man (although coupels and women too) simply being able to talk without sounding like a creep puts you in the top 10%.
which means theres not actually that much competition |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can walk into Primark- which is full of all manner of items- and walk out with nothing.
Now that's willpower."
Some of the slippers would be hard to resist, if they didn't smell of rubber. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Emotional intelligence can be conveyed on here without playing games.
Just by being normal, starting a conversation, show a little humour, this site's actually pretty good.
This!!
a thousand times this.
having read wuite a few peoples in boxes (with thier permision) i can say as a man (although coupels and women too) simply being able to talk without sounding like a creep puts you in the top 10%.
which means theres not actually that much competition"
Bingo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because the site is saturated with men. It's that simple
And the reason for that is?"
it would seem that men have on average higher sex drives.
now even a small increase in sex drive is going to have a massive effect on sites like this.
75 million people iirc aprox 40 million working age fab online members around 24-27k.
Even men being just 0.001 % Horner will have a massive influence on the membership |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are lots of men on here who are more successful than me. Are they lucky? More desirable than other men or better at selling themselves?
Your doing a lot better than me matey so not all bad news "
If it really were so easy for women, I would have met lots more men than I have.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can walk into Primark- which is full of all manner of items- and walk out with nothing.
Now that's willpower.
Some of the slippers would be hard to resist, if they didn't smell of rubber. "
Yeah what's with that? I bought some emergency shoes from Primark as i forgot to pack any except the boots is as wearing this weekend.
they smell really sting of rubber, no other rubber product does this.
Not even the liquid fucking rubber we use at work lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are lots of men on here who are more successful than me. Are they lucky? More desirable than other men or better at selling themselves?
Your doing a lot better than me matey so not all bad news
If it really were so easy for women, I would have met lots more men than I have.
"
You have your filters set to block men and your age range as 98 to 99.
do you think as a single, out of shape, 51 year old male you'd have had any success at all? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What the others have said! Volume of guys is overwhelming. Due to that quantity the "buyers" have choice.
As per the other thread, it means guys have to make far more effort to stand out (though really everyone should make the effort if they want to have sex with someone else!)"
I agree. Some women's profiles are shocking 'will fill in later' as profile text. Bet they still get a stack of replies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What the others have said! Volume of guys is overwhelming. Due to that quantity the "buyers" have choice.
As per the other thread, it means guys have to make far more effort to stand out (though really everyone should make the effort if they want to have sex with someone else!)
I agree. Some women's profiles are shocking 'will fill in later' as profile text. Bet they still get a stack of replies "
says the man with no profile pic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because the hot guys can't string a sentence together and the guys who can string a sentence together aren't hot
Some can, but the majority of hot guys know what effort isn't required. Shallow girls exist, and many of them will ignore a lack of social skills in order to have a bit of sexy fun, so these hot guys have no incentive to make an effort, because they're gonna get it anyway."
So in essence, what your saying is hot guys are more successful, regardless of profile text |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because the hot guys can't string a sentence together and the guys who can string a sentence together aren't hot
Some can, but the majority of hot guys know what effort isn't required. Shallow girls exist, and many of them will ignore a lack of social skills in order to have a bit of sexy fun, so these hot guys have no incentive to make an effort, because they're gonna get it anyway.
So in essence, what your saying is hot guys are more successful, regardless of profile text"
You say this as if it's not blindingly obvious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not all women want a guy with a huge cock .. or a guy who has bulging muscles and a six pack. I have my likes and it seems strange that I have had abuse in messages for preferring a guy less toned and maybe bigger than a gym fit junkie. So each to their own but of course the gym fit, young good looking guys are not going to have too many problems meeting lots of women, if they so choose.
"
I find this a tad unflattering.. In that what your kooking for in guys is something they may dislike in themselves and don't want it to be the reason you want to meet them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not all women want a guy with a huge cock .. or a guy who has bulging muscles and a six pack. I have my likes and it seems strange that I have had abuse in messages for preferring a guy less toned and maybe bigger than a gym fit junkie. So each to their own but of course the gym fit, young good looking guys are not going to have too many problems meeting lots of women, if they so choose.
I find this a tad unflattering.. In that what your kooking for in guys is something they may dislike in themselves and don't want it to be the reason you want to meet them.
"
who cares you're here for sexual fun not personal validation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not that hard to be successful on fab as a single guy.
I have met c50/60 couples and women over about 4 years from fab (with a bit of a break).
Just be yourself, not an arse who expects every women to throw themselves at your feet and be normal. Arrogance and expectations are not attractive traits.
To many people expect constant sex from here rather than understanding swinging is way more than that. "
I fucking hate you!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What the others have said! Volume of guys is overwhelming. Due to that quantity the "buyers" have choice.
As per the other thread, it means guys have to make far more effort to stand out (though really everyone should make the effort if they want to have sex with someone else!)
I agree. Some women's profiles are shocking 'will fill in later' as profile text. Bet they still get a stack of replies
says the man with no profile pic"
They are on there though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A single woman I met at Xtasia last year put it very simply:
Because of the gender imbalance on Fab, a man who would be an 8 in the real world gets treated like a 4, if he's lucky. Meanwhile, a woman who would be a 4 in the real world gets treated like an 8 - and often starts to act like she's a 12. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because the hot guys can't string a sentence together and the guys who can string a sentence together aren't hot
Some can, but the majority of hot guys know what effort isn't required. Shallow girls exist, and many of them will ignore a lack of social skills in order to have a bit of sexy fun, so these hot guys have no incentive to make an effort, because they're gonna get it anyway.
So in essence, what your saying is hot guys are more successful, regardless of profile text
You say this as if it's not blindingly obvious"
I was being polite to the op. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not all women want a guy with a huge cock .. or a guy who has bulging muscles and a six pack. I have my likes and it seems strange that I have had abuse in messages for preferring a guy less toned and maybe bigger than a gym fit junkie. So each to their own but of course the gym fit, young good looking guys are not going to have too many problems meeting lots of women, if they so choose.
I find this a tad unflattering.. In that what your kooking for in guys is something they may dislike in themselves and don't want it to be the reason you want to meet them.
who cares you're here for sexual fun not personal validation."
Oh ok, how about a woman wanting to meet you cos you have tiny balls on your pic? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because the site is saturated with men. It's that simple
And the reason for that is?"
There's also simple answer to that. More men want casual sex than women do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its all a game.
If I was just after a fuck, I would scattergun everyone I thought would be game and take my chance. Chances are, said ladies would be scatter gunned by men thinking the same. I'm then competing in a specific pool against the gym fit, hung like a horse faffers. I'll lose.
I am not after a fuck. So as a rule I don't message first.
That puts me out of the game.
So why am I here? I banter in the forums and sometimes get messages from people I can click with but won't get intimate with. That works for me.
I abuse the term buyers market in my profile as I know that I will appeal to few, irrespective of how much effort I put in. That's life.
If there were less males on here, it may change the dynamic slightly, but people like what people like. It won't alter my success rate.
You make your own success in life and on here. No point in blaming everyone else for a lack of success.
That's just my opinion. Not worth anything more or less than any other opinion on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women and couples are the successful ones?
Surely the successful ones are the successful ones, regardless of gender or relationship status."
The most successful fabbers are the ones who are not in competition with anyone else. They remember the reasons why they joined Fab and are happy regardless of anything else going on.
Me personally even though I do my own thing I have always considered myself to be equal to all fabbers. Therefore I am not restricted by any groups or the hierarchy system that people say exists.
I refuse to be controlled.
#rebel
Another point to consider is plenty of single guys have more fun then single women and couples. So you could argue they are more successful.
Can those guys come forward and reveal their secrets. Alright maybe that is too much to ask... I guess we all have to figure our on way out through this amazing lifestyle. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A single woman I met at Xtasia last year put it very simply:
Because of the gender imbalance on Fab, a man who would be an 8 in the real world gets treated like a 4, if he's lucky. Meanwhile, a woman who would be a 4 in the real world gets treated like an 8 - and often starts to act like she's a 12."
This is incredibly accurate |
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I have done surveys here and the percentages are roughly as follows
Men 80%
Couples who only see couples 10%
Couples who will see single men 5%
Women 5%
Thus there are 8 men for every woman or couple willing to see them. Hence the latter can pick and choose. |
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"I'll be making a few points myself later, but for now I'd like you're opinions. Why do you think women and couples are the successful ones in the site, and how hot / socially competent do you think a single guy had to be to get similar treatment?"
Quiet simply because there are so many single men on here, a lot with the preconceptions is an easy place to have success.
I don't think you have to be hot, it may help, but I consider myself bang average, now the social competence is a big thing, manners, respect and the ability to converse goes a long way.
Also understanding that a swinging site isn't just a sex site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because the site is saturated with men. It's that simple
And the reason for that is?
it would seem that men have on average higher sex drives.
now even a small increase in sex drive is going to have a massive effect on sites like this.
75 million people iirc aprox 40 million working age fab online members around 24-27k.
Even men being just 0.001 % Horner will have a massive influence on the membership "
It's all down to biology,isn't it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are a lot more men on here than women...obviously. For me though, thats not the only issue. TBH I have always known that ANY dating site will have lopsided gender ratios that favor the women...for me its the fact that there are SO MANY GODDAMN FLAKES/TIMEWASTERS.
In the last week. I have arranged meets with three people in which they all flaked. Two of them were couples (one still puts up event listings for meets despite them dropping out with no explanation) and another woman who is actually on the most fabbed hotlist. Something about Fab just makes it a hub for people who seem keen to enjoy the fantasy rather than the reality of swinging. |
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"I'll be making a few points myself later, but for now I'd like you're opinions. Why do you think women and couples are the successful ones in the site, and how hot / socially competent do you think a single guy had to be to get similar treatment?"
Because women have vaginas and breasts which will always make them in demand  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not successful on here, I don't know why so many think the grass is always greener!
Just because we get loads of messages it doesn't make it easier for us, I'd rather get one decent message than hundreds of crap ones that just say 'Hi' "
Exactly the same for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also being a "hot guy" doesnt really guarantee success either. I have some attributes which mean most people I meet on here assume I get a lot of attention. To be fair I do get inboxed quite a lot...but, once again, just because u receive attention doesnt mean it will automatically translate into meets. I get messaged by a lot of timewasting fantasists too who are d*unk and simply want to dream up a scenario to get themselves off.
What really guarantees success is really engaging in the real world social aspect of swinging...so, in essence, nothing has really changed. Socials, clubs, parties, events...those are what really seperate the people who are successful than those who are not. There plenty of people like the OP who seem to define success as getting attention on here through messages and Fabbed pics...but even in these cases, when reading actual veri's it seems like many of these come from actual events attended/real world liaisons rather than strictly meets set up through Fab.
The problem I have is really that Fab empowers the same pathetic lowlives you see on any other dating site. Those who create a Tinder/POF account because they feel lonely or ugly and think that a through matches or messages can create some self esteem. Lame. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women and couples are the successful ones?
Surely the successful ones are the successful ones, regardless of gender or relationship status.
The most successful fabbers are the ones who are not in competition with anyone else. They remember the reasons why they joined Fab and are happy regardless of anything else going on.
Me personally even though I do my own thing I have always considered myself to be equal to all fabbers. Therefore I am not restricted by any groups or the hierarchy system that people say exists.
I refuse to be controlled.
#rebel
Another point to consider is plenty of single guys have more fun then single women and couples. So you could argue they are more successful.
Can those guys come forward and reveal their secrets. Alright maybe that is too much to ask... I guess we all have to figure our on way out through this amazing lifestyle."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A single woman I met at Xtasia last year put it very simply:
Because of the gender imbalance on Fab, a man who would be an 8 in the real world gets treated like a 4, if he's lucky. Meanwhile, a woman who would be a 4 in the real world gets treated like an 8 - and often starts to act like she's a 12."
Yeah that makes sense
Observation based purely on looks ~ I do often wonder when people rave about someone that they're stunning etc etc etc, if I'm the only one who's thinking, really?! |
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By *wcwCouple
over a year ago
cheshire |
"I'll be making a few points myself later, but for now I'd like you're opinions. Why do you think women and couples are the successful ones in the site, and how hot / socially competent do you think a single guy had to be to get similar treatment?"
as a couple. We can do the shopping. (For single guys ). There are some great guys out there. All the meets we had have bieng great. There are so many of them. If we are interested in a guy. (Or the wife is). We shall get in touch with them. Not other way round. Couples and women can pick n choose. There are also guys on here you Wundt want give the time of day to. You've got out the bad uns.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not successful on here, I don't know why so many think the grass is always greener!
Just because we get loads of messages it doesn't make it easier for us, I'd rather get one decent message than hundreds of crap ones that just say 'Hi' "
Um, 'hi sexy'
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"It's not that hard to be successful on fab as a single guy.
I have met c50/60 couples and women over about 4 years from fab (with a bit of a break).
Just be yourself, not an arse who expects every women to throw themselves at your feet and be normal. Arrogance and expectations are not attractive traits.
To many people expect constant sex from here rather than understanding swinging is way more than that. "
Now THAT is one of the best posts we have seen from a single guy on fab. Someone who actually gets the difference between "swinging" and "casual sex". Well done sir  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not all women want a guy with a huge cock .. or a guy who has bulging muscles and a six pack. I have my likes and it seems strange that I have had abuse in messages for preferring a guy less toned and maybe bigger than a gym fit junkie. So each to their own but of course the gym fit, young good looking guys are not going to have too many problems meeting lots of women, if they so choose.
I find this a tad unflattering.. In that what your kooking for in guys is something they may dislike in themselves and don't want it to be the reason you want to meet them.
who cares you're here for sexual fun not personal validation.
Oh ok, how about a woman wanting to meet you cos you have tiny balls on your pic? "
great.
I have ment women because they have a fetish for scars.
I'm not massivly happy about them but if others like them why would I care |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"A single woman I met at Xtasia last year put it very simply:
Because of the gender imbalance on Fab, a man who would be an 8 in the real world gets treated like a 4, if he's lucky. Meanwhile, a woman who would be a 4 in the real world gets treated like an 8 - and often starts to act like she's a 12."
Ooh good reply! |
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By *bear25Man
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"It's not that hard to be successful on fab as a single guy.
I have met c50/60 couples and women over about 4 years from fab (with a bit of a break).
Just be yourself, not an arse who expects every women to throw themselves at your feet and be normal. Arrogance and expectations are not attractive traits.
To many people expect constant sex from here rather than understanding swinging is way more than that.
Now THAT is one of the best posts we have seen from a single guy on fab. Someone who actually gets the difference between "swinging" and "casual sex". Well done sir "
Thank you very much |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it's so hard for single guys but you do need either;
A) Good looks/Physique
B) Charm, and lots of it
C) Time
One of those three and I think you will manage the occasional meet, two of them and you will have a great time here, all three and I hate you. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"I'll be making a few points myself later, but for now I'd like you're opinions. Why do you think women and couples are the successful ones in the site, and how hot / socially competent do you think a single guy had to be to get similar treatment?"
I can see why you would think like that what with all the woe to me posts that get posted by guys on here but between me and you that's a wrong assumption to make .
I'm social inept and i have a face that curdles milk but ive never struggled on fab or any site ive been on. |
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yes because of the numbers of men compared to women/couples etc, its deffo a buyers market, but that still isnt an excuse for the ignorance you get on the site. There ARE women and couples who have the manners and decency to reply with quick no thanks, or were not looking atm etc, so im sorry i dont buy into the theory that just because someone has 100msgs in their inbox they can reply with two words. apparently 90%+ are msgs for arsewholes asking for a "fuck tonight", so if ive taken the time to write a respectfull message, i dont see why i shouldt be afforded some sort of reply. Yeah manners cost nothing, and tbh if that person cant even be arsed to take the time to reply, theyre probably ignorant in other ways. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes because of the numbers of men compared to women/couples etc, its deffo a buyers market, but that still isnt an excuse for the ignorance you get on the site. There ARE women and couples who have the manners and decency to reply with quick no thanks, or were not looking atm etc, so im sorry i dont buy into the theory that just because someone has 100msgs in their inbox they can reply with two words. apparently 90%+ are msgs for arsewholes asking for a "fuck tonight", so if ive taken the time to write a respectfull message, i dont see why i shouldt be afforded some sort of reply. Yeah manners cost nothing, and tbh if that person cant even be arsed to take the time to reply, theyre probably ignorant in other ways."
That sounds suspiciously like a 'woe is me' kinda post |
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lol not so much as in woe is me, as i know this happens to countless other guys, but i do find it stick in my throat when you see so many female profiles going on about showing manners and taking the time to read their profile and make more of an effort than just one liners, so my point is, if i dont float your boat, all it takes is a few seconds to write "sorry your not my type" i mean that could be cut and pasted easily. Manners cost nothing. |
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I work in a professional industry and the average person i interact with on a daily basis is quite bright. Then you come on here and...
Maybe people can't write intelligently when they are aroused but have a cold shower before you press the send button! |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"lol not so much as in woe is me, as i know this happens to countless other guys, but i do find it stick in my throat when you see so many female profiles going on about showing manners and taking the time to read their profile and make more of an effort than just one liners, so my point is, if i dont float your boat, all it takes is a few seconds to write "sorry your not my type" i mean that could be cut and pasted easily. Manners cost nothing."
i ttred this, did a copy and paste rejection thing for the guys who sent decent messages.
problem with this is it can go one of several ways.
1) the guy accepts the rejection, is happy with that, and buggers off. i consider this a successful result. it's rare this happens though and often leads to number 4.
2) the guy takes manners as a sign that i am able to be manipulated and so still tries to talk me into meeting him. problem here.
3) the guy can get round my filters if i put them on when i don't want messaging. problem here.
4) the guy sees we have 'chatted' before and comes back a week later saying they don't remember what we chatted about but hi again. problem here.
5) the guy is only after NSA sex anyway, he has no right to a reply as i consider NSA to mean no obligation to anyone else, and this includes no obligation to reply. problem here is there is some misunderstanding between us both what NSA actually means. men think they can make up all the rules as they go along when nah, fuck that shit my NSA means no obligation whatsoever and not even to acknowledge you exist.
so finally seeing as we're not even friends, and not in a relationship, and are not obligated to each other then i owe you nothing. accept this.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lol not so much as in woe is me, as i know this happens to countless other guys, but i do find it stick in my throat when you see so many female profiles going on about showing manners and taking the time to read their profile and make more of an effort than just one liners, so my point is, if i dont float your boat, all it takes is a few seconds to write "sorry your not my type" i mean that could be cut and pasted easily. Manners cost nothing."
unfortunately, on here,that does not really apply...there are numerous threads on this, but in short,the fab rules state a no reply is a no thanks..it's just tough im afraid if you think differently. If a polite 'no thank you' did not invite either endless 'why not, whats wrong with me?''..'its ok i can drive down from glasgow'..or just downright abuse then fine, more women would do it, but it often does, so for many women, just deleting is the only reasonable option...in fact just before writing this, i sent a very polite, 'thanks but not really what im looking for, hope you have a nice weekend'...and got back 'just seen yr profile again, mistake, sorry, dont do old ones'...see my point? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think sometimes people are quick to make this assumption. For example, we have a meet up for tonight. We are willing to host a couple, single woman or single man. Have had about 3 responses and unfortunately there isn't an attraction. I have been told I'm being fussy! Feeling a little like giving up right now! What do people want??! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lol not so much as in woe is me, as i know this happens to countless other guys, but i do find it stick in my throat when you see so many female profiles going on about showing manners and taking the time to read their profile and make more of an effort than just one liners, so my point is, if i dont float your boat, all it takes is a few seconds to write "sorry your not my type" i mean that could be cut and pasted easily. Manners cost nothing."
Why should they be required to set this time aside every day to respond to all those messages just because they signed up to a site? |
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"A single woman I met at Xtasia last year put it very simply:
Because of the gender imbalance on Fab, a man who would be an 8 in the real world gets treated like a 4, if he's lucky. Meanwhile, a woman who would be a 4 in the real world gets treated like an 8 - and often starts to act like she's a 12."
Lol. That is funny but also very true. |
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"A single woman I met at Xtasia last year put it very simply:
Because of the gender imbalance on Fab, a man who would be an 8 in the real world gets treated like a 4, if he's lucky. Meanwhile, a woman who would be a 4 in the real world gets treated like an 8 - and often starts to act like she's a 12.
Yeah that makes sense
Observation based purely on looks ~ I do often wonder when people rave about someone that they're stunning etc etc etc, if I'm the only one who's thinking, really?!"
It happens a lot in the chat rooms. A woman on cam may be a 4. All the men are telling her she is a 10. It's no wonder egos get inflated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not successful on here, I don't know why so many think the grass is always greener!
Just because we get loads of messages it doesn't make it easier for us, I'd rather get one decent message than hundreds of crap ones that just say 'Hi' "
This! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ladies have the power here its human nature. When a woman walks in a bar the guys check her out but reverse that and it will be few women looking.
Girl power rules simple |
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"A single woman I met at Xtasia last year put it very simply:
Because of the gender imbalance on Fab, a man who would be an 8 in the real world gets treated like a 4, if he's lucky. Meanwhile, a woman who would be a 4 in the real world gets treated like an 8 - and often starts to act like she's a 12.
Lol. That is funny but also very true. "
A.k.a. golden vagina syndrome |
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"A single woman I met at Xtasia last year put it very simply:
Because of the gender imbalance on Fab, a man who would be an 8 in the real world gets treated like a 4, if he's lucky. Meanwhile, a woman who would be a 4 in the real world gets treated like an 8 - and often starts to act like she's a 12.
Yeah that makes sense
Observation based purely on looks ~ I do often wonder when people rave about someone that they're stunning etc etc etc, if I'm the only one who's thinking, really?!
It happens a lot in the chat rooms. A woman on cam may be a 4. All the men are telling her she is a 10. It's no wonder egos get inflated. "
Women aren't stupid. Most know that most men will say any old shit to get a fuck. Thus the woman of average attractiveness told she is gorgeous will see right through it.
Most women are also well aware that loads of men would have sex with them given the chance. Hence they set little or no value on Mr average being sexually attracted to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A single woman I met at Xtasia last year put it very simply:
Because of the gender imbalance on Fab, a man who would be an 8 in the real world gets treated like a 4, if he's lucky. Meanwhile, a woman who would be a 4 in the real world gets treated like an 8 - and often starts to act like she's a 12.
Yeah that makes sense
Observation based purely on looks ~ I do often wonder when people rave about someone that they're stunning etc etc etc, if I'm the only one who's thinking, really?!
It happens a lot in the chat rooms. A woman on cam may be a 4. All the men are telling her she is a 10. It's no wonder egos get inflated.
Women aren't stupid. Most know that most men will say any old shit to get a fuck. Thus the woman of average attractiveness told she is gorgeous will see right through it.
Most women are also well aware that loads of men would have sex with them given the chance. Hence they set little or no value on Mr average being sexually attracted to them. "
It's all a generalisation ~ some may but not all, some lap up any ole shite they're told.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A single woman I met at Xtasia last year put it very simply:
Because of the gender imbalance on Fab, a man who would be an 8 in the real world gets treated like a 4, if he's lucky. Meanwhile, a woman who would be a 4 in the real world gets treated like an 8 - and often starts to act like she's a 12.
Yeah that makes sense
Observation based purely on looks ~ I do often wonder when people rave about someone that they're stunning etc etc etc, if I'm the only one who's thinking, really?!
It happens a lot in the chat rooms. A woman on cam may be a 4. All the men are telling her she is a 10. It's no wonder egos get inflated.
Women aren't stupid. Most know that most men will say any old shit to get a fuck. Thus the woman of average attractiveness told she is gorgeous will see right through it.
"
That's very true but I also think it's a shame. I do give compliments when I mean them but well aware they will often be thought of as hollow. It stops me giving them so often, it's a viscous circle. |
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"Emotional intelligence can be conveyed on here without playing games.
Just by being normal, starting a conversation, show a little humour, this site's actually pretty good.
This!!
a thousand times this.
having read wuite a few peoples in boxes (with thier permision) i can say as a man (although coupels and women too) simply being able to talk without sounding like a creep puts you in the top 10%.
which means theres not actually that much competition"
Completely agree. Emotional (and sexual) intelligence are key for me. There are gems on site but wow, they can be difficult to find at times. Instashag need not apply here... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll be making a few points myself later, but for now I'd like you're opinions. Why do you think women and couples are the successful ones in the site, and how hot / socially competent do you think a single guy had to be to get similar treatment?
Women and couples are successful because there is more single males, therefore it's the simple thing of the supply and demands.
And no need to be socially competent/hot, if you show people that you're genuine and not a moron, everything's gonna be fine."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll be making a few points myself later, but for now I'd like you're opinions. Why do you think women and couples are the successful ones in the site, and how hot / socially competent do you think a single guy had to be to get similar treatment?
Women and couples are successful because there is more single males, therefore it's the simple thing of the supply and demands.
And no need to be socially competent/hot, if you show people that you're genuine and not a moron, everything's gonna be fine.
"
Ha! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the obvious ratio of men to women is a big factor, but as you mention social competence, to me, that is the main reason, that most male profiles are a complete waste of time on here.
I have no idea where Fab is advertised, or what other sites it pops up on but from the majority of male profiles and messages i've seen, i would imagine it's somewhere that leaves the impression that you just join then immediately start scheduling your many many NSA meets you have lined up in your first couple of days..i really have no idea why most of the male profiles on here, are on here at all, other than to look at pics..seems to be a huge, time wasting exercise in disillusionment.."
I'd love to know where/ how it's advertised.  |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
Honest truth? We girls are spoiled for choice here on Fab with so many blokes. I think we also get a bit arrogant and miss out on some wonderful guys. Case in point - few months ago went to a house party for some reason about a dozen girls and only 6 blokes showed up! The really hot ones were pounced on by all the girls. Started talking to a fella who wasn't the fittest or handsomest and in the 'usual' house party he would not have been someone I'd have gotten talking to in the first instance. But what a stimulating conversationalist he was, ended up going off to a room with him, had some of the most amazing sex with him, took him home for the rest of the night. Lucky for me the other girls were too focused on shagging the other guys who were pretty much gorgeously built.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll be making a few points myself later, but for now I'd like you're opinions. Why do you think women and couples are the successful ones in the site, and how hot / socially competent do you think a single guy had to be to get similar treatment?"
what makes you think its only couples and females are successful
i get offered meets daily |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the obvious ratio of men to women is a big factor, but as you mention social competence, to me, that is the main reason, that most male profiles are a complete waste of time on here.
I have no idea where Fab is advertised, or what other sites it pops up on but from the majority of male profiles and messages i've seen, i would imagine it's somewhere that leaves the impression that you just join then immediately start scheduling your many many NSA meets you have lined up in your first couple of days..i really have no idea why most of the male profiles on here, are on here at all, other than to look at pics..seems to be a huge, time wasting exercise in disillusionment..
I'd love to know where/ how it's advertised. "
all the top fabbed pictures get stolen and reposted to porn blogs with a nice little "www.fabswingers" watermarked on the bottom.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"the obvious ratio of men to women is a big factor, but as you mention social competence, to me, that is the main reason, that most male profiles are a complete waste of time on here.
I have no idea where Fab is advertised, or what other sites it pops up on but from the majority of male profiles and messages i've seen, i would imagine it's somewhere that leaves the impression that you just join then immediately start scheduling your many many NSA meets you have lined up in your first couple of days..i really have no idea why most of the male profiles on here, are on here at all, other than to look at pics..seems to be a huge, time wasting exercise in disillusionment..
I'd love to know where/ how it's advertised.
all the top fabbed pictures get stolen and reposted to porn blogs with a nice little "www.fabswingers" watermarked on the bottom.
"
Now the watermark makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"the obvious ratio of men to women is a big factor, but as you mention social competence, to me, that is the main reason, that most male profiles are a complete waste of time on here.
I have no idea where Fab is advertised, or what other sites it pops up on but from the majority of male profiles and messages i've seen, i would imagine it's somewhere that leaves the impression that you just join then immediately start scheduling your many many NSA meets you have lined up in your first couple of days..i really have no idea why most of the male profiles on here, are on here at all, other than to look at pics..seems to be a huge, time wasting exercise in disillusionment..
I'd love to know where/ how it's advertised.
all the top fabbed pictures get stolen and reposted to porn blogs with a nice little "www.fabswingers" watermarked on the bottom.
"
Makes sense
I just googled NSA sex et voila up it popped! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A single woman I met at Xtasia last year put it very simply:
Because of the gender imbalance on Fab, a man who would be an 8 in the real world gets treated like a 4, if he's lucky. Meanwhile, a woman who would be a 4 in the real world gets treated like an 8 - and often starts to act like she's a 12."
This reminds me of something my brother once said to me. "There's only one thing worse than a girl that knows she's hot. And that's a girl that thinks she's hot!"
Made me giggle... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because the hot guys can't string a sentence together and the guys who can string a sentence together aren't hot
Some can, but the majority of hot guys know what effort isn't required. Shallow girls exist, and many of them will ignore a lack of social skills in order to have a bit of sexy fun, so these hot guys have no incentive to make an effort, because they're gonna get it anyway."
Isn't that life generally ?! Beautiful people get what they want simply because they are beautiful..... |
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Depends how you measure success. Yes I'd agree it is potentially easier for women and couples to get meets from here, but not necessarily a meet that suits that person or couples criteria well.
Finding good meets is difficult for everyone and plenty of single guys have oportinities and don't actually take it up. In fact I'd go as far as to say that the largest dropout category are single guys.  |
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Best summing up of the question so far!
In truth I'm not sure what "success" is, it's taken me years on the site to connect with 3 ladies, but each connection was unique and incredibly rewarding, I deem that a success |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People seem to be under the impression that it's easy for single gems. It maybe for some women, but not all. Perinaly, I have much more success at clubs and parties than I've ever had from here. This site is hard work, it does work but takes a lot of time and patience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People seem to be under the impression that it's easy for single gems. It maybe for some women, but not all. Perinaly, I have much more success at clubs and parties than I've ever had from here. This site is hard work, it does work but takes a lot of time and patience. "
*personally |
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By *imonP23Man
over a year ago
Shepton Mallet |
"I feel sorry for the single guys as they are up against the married men who claim to be single"
Well, I'm a married man in a sexless marriage, and I don't see the point in trying to hide it. But men in my position are outcompeted by the single guys!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have done surveys here and the percentages are roughly as follows
Men 80%
Couples who only see couples 10%
Couples who will see single men 5%
Women 5%
Thus there are 8 men for every woman or couple willing to see them. Hence the latter can pick and choose. "
Ok, time for an experiment
ALL the men profiles get deleted.. Ahem.. Except mine. Then see how i get on. Lol |
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"the obvious ratio of men to women is a big factor, but as you mention social competence, to me, that is the main reason, that most male profiles are a complete waste of time on here.
I have no idea where Fab is advertised, or what other sites it pops up on but from the majority of male profiles and messages i've seen, i would imagine it's somewhere that leaves the impression that you just join then immediately start scheduling your many many NSA meets you have lined up in your first couple of days..i really have no idea why most of the male profiles on here, are on here at all, other than to look at pics..seems to be a huge, time wasting exercise in disillusionment.."
Yes, it beggars belief sometimes - at least you think by the time someone was over 50 they'd gained enough wisdom not to send a close-up of a droopy cock and a crude suggestion, but it seems not! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A single woman I met at Xtasia last year put it very simply:
Because of the gender imbalance on Fab, a man who would be an 8 in the real world gets treated like a 4, if he's lucky. Meanwhile, a woman who would be a 4 in the real world gets treated like an 8 - and often starts to act like she's a 12."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends on how you meadure success?
Number of meets? Or meets that are quality?- mutual attraction on all levels..
In the case of the latter - not many are successful , regardless of gender and status.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It depends on how you meadure success?
Number of meets? Or meets that are quality?- mutual attraction on all levels..
In the case of the latter - not many are successful , regardless of gender and status.."
Well, that's a depressing thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It depends on how you meadure success?
Number of meets? Or meets that are quality?- mutual attraction on all levels..
In the case of the latter - not many are successful , regardless of gender and status..
Well, that's a depressing thought. "
I agree .. especially for women and couples in touch with reality and have some self respect..
There are beautiful men (as there are women and couples - am not saying otherwise) on here willing to meet people they would otherwise not talk too..that is difficult to suss !
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
nope.... popular people are popular regardless of whether that happens to be a couple or a single.......
you only every hear about the people who are complaining about not getting the site to work for them..... but there are loads of people out there having an absolute blast!
part of that is having realistic expectations...... most of the meets i have now are from the networking i have done, to the events and clubs i have been to and shown that i have something to offer....
people say its a number game, but its not really..... the site gives people the chance to stand out in many different ways, its whether people take advantage of those or not that makes the difference.... |
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