FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Worrying that a guy is using you as currency to sleep with someone other women..
Worrying that a guy is using you as currency to sleep with someone other women..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After speaking to a few people into swinging, it appears that this worry is at least a little bit common, even if girls don't have it all the time
Are there any women that sometimes have these thoughts, and are there any guys that have had to help their girls overcome this fear? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I've met couples where the woman just isn't into it, and I've politely extracted myself from the situation.
It might be that they're not into me, or they are swinging to please their partner but whatever the reason, you just get a sense. In those situations I feel that the guy is coercing his partner either so he can get in clubs / parties and enjoy his liberty with other women or he is into the idea of seeing her with another guy and she's sort of going along with it for whatever reason.
Is that what you meant? If so, and from a guy's perspective. It happens. It always feels suspect, so I typically would check that the woman is ok and doesn't feel rejected and make my excuses. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After speaking to a few people into swinging, it appears that this worry is at least a little bit common, even if girls don't have it all the time
Are there any women that sometimes have these thoughts, and are there any guys that have had to help their girls overcome this fear?"
Are you having these thoughts? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"After speaking to a few people into swinging, it appears that this worry is at least a little bit common, even if girls don't have it all the time
Are there any women that sometimes have these thoughts, and are there any guys that have had to help their girls overcome this fear?
Are you having these thoughts? "
Nope, I'm the guy in the relationship, but we've spoke to a few people who've had this worry, and even my own partner felt she needed to ask me the question specifically.
She's fine with playing with other people, and really enjoys it, but she has wondered if the reason I'm ok with everything was primarily so that I could be a bit more promiscuous. As it happens, I'm just very sexually adventurous, and genuinely enjoy us both being able to continue to explore sex in general, and I don't find sex something that needs to be exclusive to have a happy relationship. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
i have had guys whose idea of a relationship is diving straight into swinging with couples. or even better, us arranging meets for them. 
i think it's totally understandable that people think men are using women to get more fucks. |
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"After speaking to a few people into swinging, it appears that this worry is at least a little bit common, even if girls don't have it all the time
Are there any women that sometimes have these thoughts, and are there any guys that have had to help their girls overcome this fear?"
I didn't have these thoughts but it would be unrealistic of me to believe that part of the attraction for my partner isn't that he gets to have sex with other women. He's not using me any more than I'm using him though. |
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"Yes I've met couples where the woman just isn't into it, and I've politely extracted myself from the situation.
It might be that they're not into me, or they are swinging to please their partner but whatever the reason, you just get a sense. In those situations I feel that the guy is coercing his partner either so he can get in clubs / parties and enjoy his liberty with other women or he is into the idea of seeing her with another guy and she's sort of going along with it for whatever reason.
Is that what you meant? If so, and from a guy's perspective. It happens. It always feels suspect, so I typically would check that the woman is ok and doesn't feel rejected and make my excuses. "
One of the many reasons we have socials first  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"After speaking to a few people into swinging, it appears that this worry is at least a little bit common, even if girls don't have it all the time
Are there any women that sometimes have these thoughts, and are there any guys that have had to help their girls overcome this fear?
I didn't have these thoughts but it would be unrealistic of me to believe that part of the attraction for my partner isn't that he gets to have sex with other women. He's not using me any more than I'm using him though."
This is how I see it, except I wouldn't use those words. Do I stand to benefit sexually by being in a swinging relationship, yes of course I do. But my partnership choice wasn't born out of finding a girl I felt I could manipulate into giving me what I want.
I'm with my partner because she makes me happy in all the ways a partner should, and when it comes to sex, is able to satisfy all of my urges there too, but my urges include satisfying her. It's supposed to be win win. |
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"After speaking to a few people into swinging, it appears that this worry is at least a little bit common, even if girls don't have it all the time
Are there any women that sometimes have these thoughts, and are there any guys that have had to help their girls overcome this fear?
I didn't have these thoughts but it would be unrealistic of me to believe that part of the attraction for my partner isn't that he gets to have sex with other women. He's not using me any more than I'm using him though."
Interesting ..... I have never thought that by swinging I get a better chance to have sex with other women . Before me and S got together I was on dating sites which gave me ample opportunity and for what it was it was fine . I wanted to leave that behind , and have a proper relationship , and we got together 7 years ago . For the first year we were 100% vanilla , no thought of swinging . Then we chatted about it , tried it , liked it and here we are about to celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary . And I still don't see this as a way to fulfill a desire to have sex with other women .
We do what we do with no ulterior motive , we do it because we both enjoy it equally . |
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"After speaking to a few people into swinging, it appears that this worry is at least a little bit common, even if girls don't have it all the time
Are there any women that sometimes have these thoughts, and are there any guys that have had to help their girls overcome this fear?
I didn't have these thoughts but it would be unrealistic of me to believe that part of the attraction for my partner isn't that he gets to have sex with other women. He's not using me any more than I'm using him though.
Interesting ..... I have never thought that by swinging I get a better chance to have sex with other women . Before me and S got together I was on dating sites which gave me ample opportunity and for what it was it was fine . I wanted to leave that behind , and have a proper relationship , and we got together 7 years ago . For the first year we were 100% vanilla , no thought of swinging . Then we chatted about it , tried it , liked it and here we are about to celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary . And I still don't see this as a way to fulfill a desire to have sex with other women .
We do what we do with no ulterior motive , we do it because we both enjoy it equally ."
That's what I mean when I say he's not using me any more than I'm using him. There are many aspects to this swinging lark and one of them is that we enjoy being sexual with people other than each other just like you two do . No ulterior motive here  |
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By *D835Man
over a year ago
London |
"Yes I've met couples where the woman just isn't into it, and I've politely extracted myself from the situation.
It might be that they're not into me, or they are swinging to please their partner but whatever the reason, you just get a sense. In those situations I feel that the guy is coercing his partner either so he can get in clubs / parties and enjoy his liberty with other women or he is into the idea of seeing her with another guy and she's sort of going along with it for whatever reason.
Is that what you meant? If so, and from a guy's perspective. It happens. It always feels suspect, so I typically would check that the woman is ok and doesn't feel rejected and make my excuses. "
I do the same when faced with that senario. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've met couples where the man is clearly using the woman to get him more sex and she's just going along with it so that he doesn't leave.
I've talked to men that say they are interested in me but they soon let slip that they want to use me to get them into clubs and/ or so they can use me as bait to meet other people. |
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By *tranTV/TS
over a year ago
City |
Yeah its very common.
Keep your verifications as emotionless as possible, describe if the person was as described or not.
A lot of women meet up with a guy once, take some photos, they verify him "gorgeous great guy", he puts up the photos cutting out her face, she loves it..
There are loads of guys on here like that, you would think they were a lovely gent, but they are not, they just use the women to get more women and tell them one thing and someone like me another thing. |
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"After speaking to a few people into swinging, it appears that this worry is at least a little bit common, even if girls don't have it all the time
Are there any women that sometimes have these thoughts, and are there any guys that have had to help their girls overcome this fear?
I didn't have these thoughts but it would be unrealistic of me to believe that part of the attraction for my partner isn't that he gets to have sex with other women. He's not using me any more than I'm using him though.
Interesting ..... I have never thought that by swinging I get a better chance to have sex with other women . Before me and S got together I was on dating sites which gave me ample opportunity and for what it was it was fine . I wanted to leave that behind , and have a proper relationship , and we got together 7 years ago . For the first year we were 100% vanilla , no thought of swinging . Then we chatted about it , tried it , liked it and here we are about to celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary . And I still don't see this as a way to fulfill a desire to have sex with other women .
We do what we do with no ulterior motive , we do it because we both enjoy it equally .
That's what I mean when I say he's not using me any more than I'm using him. There are many aspects to this swinging lark and one of them is that we enjoy being sexual with people other than each other just like you two do . No ulterior motive here "
I think you misunderstood me , I wasn't suggesting you guys had an ulterior motive . More so that the couples who swing where the guy feels he can use his partner to fuck other women .
Sorry if it came across as if you guys had any ulterior motive .  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's plenty of couples like that. Also seen plenty of couples where the female is dominating the situation and the guy clearly doesn't want to be there.
On fab....we tend to avoid the obvious male dominated profiles. E.g no pics of the guy, text clearly written from the guys perspective.
The biggest annoyance on here for us is couples with no photos of the male half. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We were both a bit pissed off at a recent party. A couple approached us - both looked nice. The male made direct advances towards Mrs Snoozles, which she welcomed and they started to engage in fun. I then got close to his lady and attempted to touch in a friendly way but she backed off, so I asked what was wrong. She then announced "I am not a swinger - only he is". I was puzzled.... I turned back to Mrs S whom was now in full fun with her man. The lady then walked off, leaving me on my own whilst her bloke was at it with my wife. I was unsure what to do.... The bloke and my missus finished their business, and then he left too. My wife asked me what happened to the blokes girl and I told her. We were both a bit pissed off really. I could have tapped him on the shoulder and stopped it, but it didn't seem right. Sigh... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were both a bit pissed off at a recent party. A couple approached us - both looked nice. The male made direct advances towards Mrs Snoozles, which she welcomed and they started to engage in fun. I then got close to his lady and attempted to touch in a friendly way but she backed off, so I asked what was wrong. She then announced "I am not a swinger - only he is". I was puzzled.... I turned back to Mrs S whom was now in full fun with her man. The lady then walked off, leaving me on my own whilst her bloke was at it with my wife. I was unsure what to do.... The bloke and my missus finished their business, and then he left too. My wife asked me what happened to the blokes girl and I told her. We were both a bit pissed off really. I could have tapped him on the shoulder and stopped it, but it didn't seem right. Sigh... "
Should have stopped it, if this happened to us we'd stop immediately, there are some arse holes out there x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We were both a bit pissed off at a recent party. A couple approached us - both looked nice. The male made direct advances towards Mrs Snoozles, which she welcomed and they started to engage in fun. I then got close to his lady and attempted to touch in a friendly way but she backed off, so I asked what was wrong. She then announced "I am not a swinger - only he is". I was puzzled.... I turned back to Mrs S whom was now in full fun with her man. The lady then walked off, leaving me on my own whilst her bloke was at it with my wife. I was unsure what to do.... The bloke and my missus finished their business, and then he left too. My wife asked me what happened to the blokes girl and I told her. We were both a bit pissed off really. I could have tapped him on the shoulder and stopped it, but it didn't seem right. Sigh... "
This is horrific?
I'd like to assume our need for chatting and getting ground rules out the way naturally would help us avoid this but I wouldn't have a clue what to do if this happened to us. Well done on remaining calm. |
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"We were both a bit pissed off at a recent party. A couple approached us - both looked nice. The male made direct advances towards Mrs Snoozles, which she welcomed and they started to engage in fun. I then got close to his lady and attempted to touch in a friendly way but she backed off, so I asked what was wrong. She then announced "I am not a swinger - only he is". I was puzzled.... I turned back to Mrs S whom was now in full fun with her man. The lady then walked off, leaving me on my own whilst her bloke was at it with my wife. I was unsure what to do.... The bloke and my missus finished their business, and then he left too. My wife asked me what happened to the blokes girl and I told her. We were both a bit pissed off really. I could have tapped him on the shoulder and stopped it, but it didn't seem right. Sigh... "
Oh gosh that's awkward. We've had almost the opposite situation where a stunning young woman came on to me (husband) strongly and her 'partner' was quiet. We were 99% sure she was a hooker, discussed it quickly and i politely declined. We saw them leave shortly after. In a car worth more than the average house. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were both a bit pissed off at a recent party. A couple approached us - both looked nice. The male made direct advances towards Mrs Snoozles, which she welcomed and they started to engage in fun. I then got close to his lady and attempted to touch in a friendly way but she backed off, so I asked what was wrong. She then announced "I am not a swinger - only he is". I was puzzled.... I turned back to Mrs S whom was now in full fun with her man. The lady then walked off, leaving me on my own whilst her bloke was at it with my wife. I was unsure what to do.... The bloke and my missus finished their business, and then he left too. My wife asked me what happened to the blokes girl and I told her. We were both a bit pissed off really. I could have tapped him on the shoulder and stopped it, but it didn't seem right. Sigh...
Oh gosh that's awkward. We've had almost the opposite situation where a stunning young woman came on to me (husband) strongly and her 'partner' was quiet. We were 99% sure she was a hooker, discussed it quickly and i politely declined. We saw them leave shortly after. In a car worth more than the average house. "
Definitely was odd, but the missus enjoyed the actual sex, so not all bad I suppose ! We happened to bump into them on our way out, and they were both very polite and friendly and thanked us both. It certainly wasn't what we were expecting, or would want to happen again really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were both a bit pissed off at a recent party. A couple approached us - both looked nice. The male made direct advances towards Mrs Snoozles, which she welcomed and they started to engage in fun. I then got close to his lady and attempted to touch in a friendly way but she backed off, so I asked what was wrong. She then announced "I am not a swinger - only he is". I was puzzled.... I turned back to Mrs S whom was now in full fun with her man. The lady then walked off, leaving me on my own whilst her bloke was at it with my wife. I was unsure what to do.... The bloke and my missus finished their business, and then he left too. My wife asked me what happened to the blokes girl and I told her. We were both a bit pissed off really. I could have tapped him on the shoulder and stopped it, but it didn't seem right. Sigh... "
So your wife didn't see that you had been left alone? Hardly very considerate of her, she was getting her fun so didn't matter about you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were both a bit pissed off at a recent party. A couple approached us - both looked nice. The male made direct advances towards Mrs Snoozles, which she welcomed and they started to engage in fun. I then got close to his lady and attempted to touch in a friendly way but she backed off, so I asked what was wrong. She then announced "I am not a swinger - only he is". I was puzzled.... I turned back to Mrs S whom was now in full fun with her man. The lady then walked off, leaving me on my own whilst her bloke was at it with my wife. I was unsure what to do.... The bloke and my missus finished their business, and then he left too. My wife asked me what happened to the blokes girl and I told her. We were both a bit pissed off really. I could have tapped him on the shoulder and stopped it, but it didn't seem right. Sigh... "
ouch
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were both a bit pissed off at a recent party. A couple approached us - both looked nice. The male made direct advances towards Mrs Snoozles, which she welcomed and they started to engage in fun. I then got close to his lady and attempted to touch in a friendly way but she backed off, so I asked what was wrong. She then announced "I am not a swinger - only he is". I was puzzled.... I turned back to Mrs S whom was now in full fun with her man. The lady then walked off, leaving me on my own whilst her bloke was at it with my wife. I was unsure what to do.... The bloke and my missus finished their business, and then he left too. My wife asked me what happened to the blokes girl and I told her. We were both a bit pissed off really. I could have tapped him on the shoulder and stopped it, but it didn't seem right. Sigh...
So your wife didn't see that you had been left alone? Hardly very considerate of her, she was getting her fun so didn't matter about you? "
I'm also wondering why she didn't notice. |
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"We were both a bit pissed off at a recent party. A couple approached us - both looked nice. The male made direct advances towards Mrs Snoozles, which she welcomed and they started to engage in fun. I then got close to his lady and attempted to touch in a friendly way but she backed off, so I asked what was wrong. She then announced "I am not a swinger - only he is". I was puzzled.... I turned back to Mrs S whom was now in full fun with her man. The lady then walked off, leaving me on my own whilst her bloke was at it with my wife. I was unsure what to do.... The bloke and my missus finished their business, and then he left too. My wife asked me what happened to the blokes girl and I told her. We were both a bit pissed off really. I could have tapped him on the shoulder and stopped it, but it didn't seem right. Sigh...
So your wife didn't see that you had been left alone? Hardly very considerate of her, she was getting her fun so didn't matter about you?
I'm also wondering why she didn't notice. "
There are less loaded ways to ask though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll put together an incident dossier complete with sketches, layout drawings, quotations and timings for those that really need to know. Just message us and Ill have a copy couried to you. Interesting that some of those questioning have no verifications. Wonder why that is ?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"There's plenty of couples like that. Also seen plenty of couples where the female is dominating the situation and the guy clearly doesn't want to be there.
On fab....we tend to avoid the obvious male dominated profiles. E.g no pics of the guy, text clearly written from the guys perspective.
The biggest annoyance on here for us is couples with no photos of the male half. "
Not necessarily true. My couples profile only has one public visible pic of him the rest are in friends. It isn't cause he is dominating me in any way, it's simply cause he is in the process of divorce and it's unlikely to go down well if spotted on here.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll put together an incident dossier complete with sketches, layout drawings, quotations and timings for those that really need to know. Just message us and Ill have a copy couried to you. Interesting that some of those questioning have no verifications. Wonder why that is ?!"
Why be so touchy? I just find it strange that if you're swinging as a couple, that one of you would have fun without considering the others feelings. Not how I would do swinging with a partner but each to their own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And for the record, I choose not to show my verifications. Those who I meet don't have an issue with that, really don't see why it's anyone elses business how I run my profile. |
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
"
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex. "
Surely what I "should" have done is up to me entirely, not you ! Oh I forgot... I am on the fabswingers forum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it. "
At last someone with some sense...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it. "
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own."
Reality check ? This is a swinging website. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own.
Reality check ? This is a swinging website."
Yes, exactly. You were the one who has posted on a public forum that you weren't happy what had happened. If you don't like comments that you don't agree with, then I suggest you do t post. Just saying |
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We have had couple of socials where the female half was telling me (Jayne) that they were not in to it but guy was so they wanted to try swinging for them. I have never and would never live this lifestyle to please my other half. I enjoy this lifestyle, I love watching Jon fuck other women and one of my favourite things is to guide his cock in a lovely wet pussy. You can't swing and maintain a healthy relationship if you aren't really in to it. However at the end of the day when the doors close you are the only ones living in that life and no one can tell you that you are wrong.
Jayne xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own.
Reality check ? This is a swinging website.
Yes, exactly. You were the one who has posted on a public forum that you weren't happy what had happened. If you don't like comments that you don't agree with, then I suggest you do t post. Just saying "
*dont post |
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own."
Personally i find sex a lot more fun when i focus on the person I'm with and not what else is going on in the room. He's a grown man and if he wanted to stop things then he would have. His wife knows this and doesn't need to get his signature on a consent form when they are at a swinging club to play with people. Yes it's bad form from the other 'couple' but if the wife question had a good fuck then so what? That guy will probably kick himself that he won't get a round 2 with her. |
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own.
Reality check ? This is a swinging website.
Yes, exactly. You were the one who has posted on a public forum that you weren't happy what had happened. If you don't like comments that you don't agree with, then I suggest you do t post. Just saying "
I think the issue is pointing the finger at the wife as opposed to the other couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own.
Personally i find sex a lot more fun when i focus on the person I'm with and not what else is going on in the room. He's a grown man and if he wanted to stop things then he would have. His wife knows this and doesn't need to get his signature on a consent form when they are at a swinging club to play with people. Yes it's bad form from the other 'couple' but if the wife question had a good fuck then so what? That guy will probably kick himself that he won't get a round 2 with her. "
Precisely, but he stated he was pissed off about it. Swinging is meant to be fun, yes? If people don't like what is happening then they should speak up. Simples |
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Surely what I "should" have done is up to me entirely, not you ! Oh I forgot... I am on the fabswingers forum. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own.
Reality check ? This is a swinging website.
Yes, exactly. You were the one who has posted on a public forum that you weren't happy what had happened. If you don't like comments that you don't agree with, then I suggest you do t post. Just saying
I think the issue is pointing the finger at the wife as opposed to the other couple. "
I see how it is coming across that way, but surely the wife is partly responsible for what happened. I for, one, always ensure throughout play that those I'm swinging with are happy. No one should come away from a meet pissed off, is all I'm saying.
I shall stay quiet now, as people domt always like hearing the truth. No offence meant to anyone, just my tuppence worth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own.
Reality check ? This is a swinging website.
Yes, exactly. You were the one who has posted on a public forum that you weren't happy what had happened. If you don't like comments that you don't agree with, then I suggest you do t post. Just saying "
I was more perplexed and surprised than "unhappy". Yes I posted on a public forum and yes you are entitled to your opinion.I have no problem with your odd comments and have already told you that you are absolutely correct anyway, so what's the problem ? "just saying" too. xxx |
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own.
Personally i find sex a lot more fun when i focus on the person I'm with and not what else is going on in the room. He's a grown man and if he wanted to stop things then he would have. His wife knows this and doesn't need to get his signature on a consent form when they are at a swinging club to play with people. Yes it's bad form from the other 'couple' but if the wife question had a good fuck then so what? That guy will probably kick himself that he won't get a round 2 with her.
Precisely, but he stated he was pissed off about it. Swinging is meant to be fun, yes? If people don't like what is happening then they should speak up. Simples "
But it's not a 0% or 100% problem. Assume he would normally be 100% happy with her choice of partner, but after what the woman did to him, he becomes 55% happy with the scenario. Enough to be pissed off, not enough to call a halt to things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own.
Personally i find sex a lot more fun when i focus on the person I'm with and not what else is going on in the room. He's a grown man and if he wanted to stop things then he would have. His wife knows this and doesn't need to get his signature on a consent form when they are at a swinging club to play with people. Yes it's bad form from the other 'couple' but if the wife question had a good fuck then so what? That guy will probably kick himself that he won't get a round 2 with her.
Precisely, but he stated he was pissed off about it. Swinging is meant to be fun, yes? If people don't like what is happening then they should speak up. Simples "
True words.
These words come from your partner though: 'I was unsure what to do....'. That should never be the case between a balanced swinging couple. That is MY opinion, it's a public forum after all. |
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own.
Reality check ? This is a swinging website.
Yes, exactly. You were the one who has posted on a public forum that you weren't happy what had happened. If you don't like comments that you don't agree with, then I suggest you do t post. Just saying
I think the issue is pointing the finger at the wife as opposed to the other couple.
I see how it is coming across that way, but surely the wife is partly responsible for what happened. I for, one, always ensure throughout play that those I'm swinging with are happy. No one should come away from a meet pissed off, is all I'm saying.
I shall stay quiet now, as people domt always like hearing the truth. No offence meant to anyone, just my tuppence worth "
Ok final say; it's just about the way it's said. Asking "was your wife aware of the situation?" is a neutral question. Asking why she didn't do something about it is a loaded question. I appreciate it wasn't you that made the initial comments either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own.
Personally i find sex a lot more fun when i focus on the person I'm with and not what else is going on in the room. He's a grown man and if he wanted to stop things then he would have. His wife knows this and doesn't need to get his signature on a consent form when they are at a swinging club to play with people. Yes it's bad form from the other 'couple' but if the wife question had a good fuck then so what? That guy will probably kick himself that he won't get a round 2 with her.
Precisely, but he stated he was pissed off about it. Swinging is meant to be fun, yes? If people don't like what is happening then they should speak up. Simples "
Jeez I'll have to proof read my posts in future very carefully as not to upset certain people... I apologise for using the term "pissed off", perhaps I should have said "put out" or such like. Though I daresay the usual righteous brigade would have found another aspect to tear into anyway... If you had read my other posts you'll have seen that the missus enjoyed the session. If she is happy, then I am happy. Really sorry if that is not compliant with your ideals. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll put together an incident dossier complete with sketches, layout drawings, quotations and timings for those that really need to know. Just message us and Ill have a copy couried to you. Interesting that some of those questioning have no verifications. Wonder why that is ?!
Why be so touchy? I just find it strange that if you're swinging as a couple, that one of you would have fun without considering the others feelings. Not how I would do swinging with a partner but each to their own."
i would agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own.
Personally i find sex a lot more fun when i focus on the person I'm with and not what else is going on in the room. He's a grown man and if he wanted to stop things then he would have. His wife knows this and doesn't need to get his signature on a consent form when they are at a swinging club to play with people. Yes it's bad form from the other 'couple' but if the wife question had a good fuck then so what? That guy will probably kick himself that he won't get a round 2 with her.
Precisely, but he stated he was pissed off about it. Swinging is meant to be fun, yes? If people don't like what is happening then they should speak up. Simples
True words.
These words come from your partner though: 'I was unsure what to do....'. That should never be the case between a balanced swinging couple. That is MY opinion, it's a public forum after all."
I was unsure what to do, as most people (without ESP) would be when they are met with a totally unexpected situation in any scenario. The "unsure" part was due to the unexpected situation - not because we are anything other than a "balanced swinging couple"
Honestly, I could create a thread on here saying "Grass is green, and the sky is blue", and the usual brigade members would challenge it. Enjoy whats left of the weekend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Apologies to ThatCuteCouple that my post seems to have cause a diversion from your original post. I did try to PM to apologise but I I am outside your age range for messages. Hope you had a good weekend. Cheers. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am not part of any usual righteous brigade as you call it. Wouldn't know who they are, could not care less. I can think for myself. That was my opinion on a post. Everyone has one. End of. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am not part of any usual righteous brigade as you call it. Wouldn't know who they are, could not care less. I can think for myself. That was my opinion on a post. Everyone has one. End of. "
And an interesting opinion it was. Thank you for that. Enjoy your evening |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own.
Personally i find sex a lot more fun when i focus on the person I'm with and not what else is going on in the room. He's a grown man and if he wanted to stop things then he would have. His wife knows this and doesn't need to get his signature on a consent form when they are at a swinging club to play with people. Yes it's bad form from the other 'couple' but if the wife question had a good fuck then so what? That guy will probably kick himself that he won't get a round 2 with her.
Precisely, but he stated he was pissed off about it. Swinging is meant to be fun, yes? If people don't like what is happening then they should speak up. Simples
Jeez I'll have to proof read my posts in future very carefully as not to upset certain people... I apologise for using the term "pissed off", perhaps I should have said "put out" or such like. Though I daresay the usual righteous brigade would have found another aspect to tear into anyway... If you had read my other posts you'll have seen that the missus enjoyed the session. If she is happy, then I am happy. Really sorry if that is not compliant with your ideals. "
Why so much angst? It was just a question. You posted details and people asked for more information.
I think we're all learning all the time.
If I was in that situation I'd discuss it with my partner so we'd have some plan of action for if it ever happened again. Either both of us walk off or one person have fun and the other have a drink and wait. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a single woman. The number of men I've met previously who hint at a couple's profile after meeting me without actually trying to please me, in % is high.
I politely remind them the things they're asking me for I'm capable of arranging myself x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own.
Personally i find sex a lot more fun when i focus on the person I'm with and not what else is going on in the room. He's a grown man and if he wanted to stop things then he would have. His wife knows this and doesn't need to get his signature on a consent form when they are at a swinging club to play with people. Yes it's bad form from the other 'couple' but if the wife question had a good fuck then so what? That guy will probably kick himself that he won't get a round 2 with her.
Precisely, but he stated he was pissed off about it. Swinging is meant to be fun, yes? If people don't like what is happening then they should speak up. Simples
Jeez I'll have to proof read my posts in future very carefully as not to upset certain people... I apologise for using the term "pissed off", perhaps I should have said "put out" or such like. Though I daresay the usual righteous brigade would have found another aspect to tear into anyway... If you had read my other posts you'll have seen that the missus enjoyed the session. If she is happy, then I am happy. Really sorry if that is not compliant with your ideals.
Why so much angst? It was just a question. You posted details and people asked for more information.
I think we're all learning all the time.
If I was in that situation I'd discuss it with my partner so we'd have some plan of action for if it ever happened again. Either both of us walk off or one person have fun and the other have a drink and wait. "
Angst ? Did I miss something ? |
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own.
Personally i find sex a lot more fun when i focus on the person I'm with and not what else is going on in the room. He's a grown man and if he wanted to stop things then he would have. His wife knows this and doesn't need to get his signature on a consent form when they are at a swinging club to play with people. Yes it's bad form from the other 'couple' but if the wife question had a good fuck then so what? That guy will probably kick himself that he won't get a round 2 with her.
Precisely, but he stated he was pissed off about it. Swinging is meant to be fun, yes? If people don't like what is happening then they should speak up. Simples
Jeez I'll have to proof read my posts in future very carefully as not to upset certain people... I apologise for using the term "pissed off", perhaps I should have said "put out" or such like. Though I daresay the usual righteous brigade would have found another aspect to tear into anyway... If you had read my other posts you'll have seen that the missus enjoyed the session. If she is happy, then I am happy. Really sorry if that is not compliant with your ideals. "
Seriously now , you shouldn't let it get to you .
There will always be those who think they know best , and they won't be afraid to say so behind a keyboard .
Forget it , it's all good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder what the verifications have to do with the subject? If you are swinging as a couple then yes, you should have stopped. It's obvious the other lady only accompanied her 'man' so he could get some, which he did thanks to you. He will now feel encouraged to carry on doing it since he got what he wanted, sex.
Maybe he was happy that his wife was enjoying herself. It's an awkward situation, but there's no right or wrong answer. I try to keep an eye on what my wife is doing to make sure she's having fun when we swap but you don't notice everything and if his wife got caught up in the moment then that's all there is to it.
Not how I would expect to be treated by someone who loves me, but each to their own.
Personally i find sex a lot more fun when i focus on the person I'm with and not what else is going on in the room. He's a grown man and if he wanted to stop things then he would have. His wife knows this and doesn't need to get his signature on a consent form when they are at a swinging club to play with people. Yes it's bad form from the other 'couple' but if the wife question had a good fuck then so what? That guy will probably kick himself that he won't get a round 2 with her.
Precisely, but he stated he was pissed off about it. Swinging is meant to be fun, yes? If people don't like what is happening then they should speak up. Simples
Jeez I'll have to proof read my posts in future very carefully as not to upset certain people... I apologise for using the term "pissed off", perhaps I should have said "put out" or such like. Though I daresay the usual righteous brigade would have found another aspect to tear into anyway... If you had read my other posts you'll have seen that the missus enjoyed the session. If she is happy, then I am happy. Really sorry if that is not compliant with your ideals.
Seriously now , you shouldn't let it get to you .
There will always be those who think they know best , and they won't be afraid to say so behind a keyboard .
Forget it , it's all good "
Fair comment. Thanks xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had someone who wanted me to be exclusive to him and find other women for bi mff. I'd only met him once. "
That seems extremely common on here. I always say no. |
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