FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Finding it hard to get meets as a new couple
Finding it hard to get meets as a new couple
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So couples, please tell us - is it easier to get meets in clubs and parties (we did go to a club and met one lovely couple socially);
Or post meets;
Or just message couples in our area;
Or go to socials? Won't say no to single makes but all our messages are from single males!
Is it off-putting because we have only one Verification? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are a newish couple as well. We have tried the clubs and organised social events as well but still struggle. Personally think lots of people on fab wait for the others to message. We get viewed a hell of a lot by couples but very rarely get any messages |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We are a newish couple as well. We have tried the clubs and organised social events as well but still struggle. Personally think lots of people on fab wait for the others to message. We get viewed a hell of a lot by couples but very rarely get any messages "
Unfortunately we don't get many views. Maybe 35 in a day and vast majority from single males. No couple has even messaged us yet! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So couples, please tell us - is it easier to get meets in clubs and parties (we did go to a club and met one lovely couple socially);
Or post meets;
Or just message couples in our area;
Or go to socials? Won't say no to single makes but all our messages are from single males!
Is it off-putting because we have only one Verification?"
maybe it's just your geographical location not many other swingers near where you live |
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We find that going to clubs and parties is easiest way of meeting couples, and as you get to meet new people you'll find it gets easier. Unfortunately there are just as many time wasters as genuine people on here it makes people a little wary of newbies. |
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We don't go to parties as its not our thing but we do go to clubs in the day time to play alone together. From what we've observed couples tend to go in a group together and stick together making it difficult for someone outside the group to approach the. It might be different in the evenings.
We too find its mostly single men who contact us but couples occasionally do. The problem is that there has to be mutual attraction and too often one or the other of us vetos a meet because we don't find our opposite number to be what we're looking for. This happens whoever makes first contact
We have met couples successfully but it isn't as easy as meeting single men.
Good luck in your search.
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We have tried most methods and it comes down to (for us) about personal preferences as both have there pros and cons
Meeting at home
Your in control, in a space you can relax in and have your toys near by... The down side is timewasters and fantasists...spending time to get ready for a no show.
Meeting at clubs
This might come across as harsh but less options (only have whos there) but at least there are people there generally.
Which do we find easier to find someone who meets what we are looking for? It is 6 of one and half a dozen of the other really
Dax |
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"We don't go to parties as its not our thing but we do go to clubs in the day time to play alone together. From what we've observed couples tend to go in a group together and stick together making it difficult for someone outside the group to approach the. It might be different in the evenings.
We too find its mostly single men who contact us but couples occasionally do. The problem is that there has to be mutual attraction and too often one or the other of us vetos a meet because we don't find our opposite number to be what we're looking for. This happens whoever makes first contact
We have met couples successfully but it isn't as easy as meeting single men.
Good luck in your search.
"
We have that same issue with couples as well |
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"We don't go to parties as its not our thing but we do go to clubs in the day time to play alone together. From what we've observed couples tend to go in a group together and stick together making it difficult for someone outside the group to approach the. It might be different in the evenings.
We too find its mostly single men who contact us but couples occasionally do. The problem is that there has to be mutual attraction and too often one or the other of us vetos a meet because we don't find our opposite number to be what we're looking for. This happens whoever makes first contact
We have met couples successfully but it isn't as easy as meeting single men.
Good luck in your search.
We have that same issue with couples as well"
I think it's always going to be difficult for couples and probably more so if you're both straight. With one exception the couples we have met have been lovely and we've had some good times so it is worth persevering. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are still pretty new to all this but have found the trick is just to be polite but direct.
On our first club visit we spent most of the time wandering around not really knowing what to do. Spoke to some lovely people but didn't really know how to kick things off. Near the end of the night we just said to the couple next to "would you like to join us?" they said yes and off we went.
After spending so long trying to decide what to do were both shocked how easy it was! 
It's different for everyone I guess (and of course not everyone will say yes) but we are all there for the same reason so I would say if someone takes your fancy just jump in and ask!
M&J x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We go to clubs and have met couples and women there
We haven't met many from here; I think are lot of the couples and women here are in reality, just sad little men wanking on a keyboard
- Mrs. J- |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all your feedback. I dislike sending out random messages to couples so I think we will go down the club line. At least you get a chance to see the other couple and chat to see if you gel, in the right atmosphere. Pubs can be busy and lack of privacy is a problem!x |
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"Thanks for all your feedback. I dislike sending out random messages to couples so I think we will go down the club line. At least you get a chance to see the other couple and chat to see if you gel, in the right atmosphere. Pubs can be busy and lack of privacy is a problem!x"
Serious question. Why do you dislike sending messages to couples. After all you were complaining that they weren't sending messages to you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all your feedback. I dislike sending out random messages to couples so I think we will go down the club line. At least you get a chance to see the other couple and chat to see if you gel, in the right atmosphere. Pubs can be busy and lack of privacy is a problem!x"
. Been great thread to read least it's not only just us struggling on fab. Worth checking out the organised social events as well. Good luck hopefully you'll find what your both after soon
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We are club goers. 95% of the time we come home annoyed with it and ourselves for not being more satisfying. We have met two couples off here but neither time did anything ever happen.
For us the whole experience has been frustrating. If you find a couple for fun, hang on to them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all your feedback. I dislike sending out random messages to couples so I think we will go down the club line. At least you get a chance to see the other couple and chat to see if you gel, in the right atmosphere. Pubs can be busy and lack of privacy is a problem!x. Been great thread to read least it's not only just us struggling on fab. Worth checking out the organised social events as well. Good luck hopefully you'll find what your both after soon "
Thanks x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all your feedback. I dislike sending out random messages to couples so I think we will go down the club line. At least you get a chance to see the other couple and chat to see if you gel, in the right atmosphere. Pubs can be busy and lack of privacy is a problem!x
Serious question. Why do you dislike sending messages to couples. After all you were complaining that they weren't sending messages to you! "
Valid point. Answer is we have found it didn't work. Read. Deleted possibly because they may think we are a single man! |
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Really interesting thread as we're finding similar difficulties, we've spoken to lots of people but arranging meets seems to be tricky... is our profile bad/scary/horrible? You start to wonder... we're off to a club Saturday so it will be interesting to see how it goes |
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"Really interesting thread as we're finding similar difficulties, we've spoken to lots of people but arranging meets seems to be tricky... is our profile bad/scary/horrible? You start to wonder... we're off to a club Saturday so it will be interesting to see how it goes "
Your profile isn't bad, scary or horrible and you have some beautiful pictures. One thing which might put couples off contacting you is that you have no body pictures of the guy. That won't matter in a club though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Really interesting thread as we're finding similar difficulties, we've spoken to lots of people but arranging meets seems to be tricky... is our profile bad/scary/horrible? You start to wonder... we're off to a club Saturday so it will be interesting to see how it goes
Your profile isn't bad, scary or horrible and you have some beautiful pictures. One thing which might put couples off contacting you is that you have no body pictures of the guy. That won't matter in a club though."
We need to get more pics posted |
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"Really interesting thread as we're finding similar difficulties, we've spoken to lots of people but arranging meets seems to be tricky... is our profile bad/scary/horrible? You start to wonder... we're off to a club Saturday so it will be interesting to see how it goes
Your profile isn't bad, scary or horrible and you have some beautiful pictures. One thing which might put couples off contacting you is that you have no body pictures of the guy. That won't matter in a club though."
Thanks for the feedback, didn't think too much of that, will have to have another play with the camera |
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"We are a newish couple as well. We have tried the clubs and organised social events as well but still struggle. Personally think lots of people on fab wait for the others to message. We get viewed a hell of a lot by couples but very rarely get any messages "
If your living in Hemsworth, not everybody can get hold of a gun to visit  |
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"Really interesting thread as we're finding similar difficulties, we've spoken to lots of people but arranging meets seems to be tricky... is our profile bad/scary/horrible? You start to wonder... we're off to a club Saturday so it will be interesting to see how it goes
Your profile isn't bad, scary or horrible and you have some beautiful pictures. One thing which might put couples off contacting you is that you have no body pictures of the guy. That won't matter in a club though.
Thanks for the feedback, didn't think too much of that, will have to have another play with the camera "
You're welcome, enjoy. |
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"Really interesting thread as we're finding similar difficulties, we've spoken to lots of people but arranging meets seems to be tricky... is our profile bad/scary/horrible? You start to wonder... we're off to a club Saturday so it will be interesting to see how it goes
Your profile isn't bad, scary or horrible and you have some beautiful pictures. One thing which might put couples off contacting you is that you have no body pictures of the guy. That won't matter in a club though.
We need to get more pics posted"
It is something that stops us contacting or responding to couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are having the same we go to clubs and don't do private meets, we have only been on this site for 4 months but our veries have grown because of meeting people in clubs so it's a great way to verify, the best advice is to pic a club and go a few times so people start to recognise you, it took us maybe 4-5 weeks to get to know people now we spend most of the night chatting to friends,
We don't play much but we really enjoy going |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are a newish couple as well. We have tried the clubs and organised social events as well but still struggle. Personally think lots of people on fab wait for the others to message. We get viewed a hell of a lot by couples but very rarely get any messages
If your living in Hemsworth, not everybody can get hold of a gun to visit "
Female here i dont live in hemsworth i live NEAR it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So couples, please tell us - is it easier to get meets in clubs and parties (we did go to a club and met one lovely couple socially);
Or post meets;
Or just message couples in our area;
Or go to socials? Won't say no to single makes but all our messages are from single males!
Is it off-putting because we have only one Verification?"
We've struggled so are thinking of the club route now having posted meets done the social thing and have verification |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it makes doublepleasure and sensualdelight feel any better, we'd do all 4 of you at the same time .... If only you lived closer"
 female again .. we have been to quest quite a few times and still end up playing with each other they all seem to stick together even on a night ... we have only been together about 3 months and not had any real intereaction with others yet so not even sure how we feel about it but unless we try we are never going to know x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If it makes doublepleasure and sensualdelight feel any better, we'd do all 4 of you at the same time .... If only you lived closer female again .. we have been to quest quite a few times and still end up playing with each other they all seem to stick together even on a night ... we have only been together about 3 months and not had any real intereaction with others yet so not even sure how we feel about it but unless we try we are never going to know x"
We were at cjs and did chat to three couples but it ended up just being a social. Another couple wanted to play but by then it was closing time. I do think that clubs seem the way forward and I think that's a path we will take |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So couples, please tell us - is it easier to get meets in clubs and parties (we did go to a club and met one lovely couple socially);
Or post meets;
Or just message couples in our area;
Or go to socials? Won't say no to single makes but all our messages are from single males!
Is it off-putting because we have only one Verification?"
Depends what you want, if you have no friends in normal life go to a club make new friends and play on the odd occasion, if you have a good social life, post meets, ask on here outright and directly and you'll get meets and play |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are a newish couple as well. We have tried the clubs and organised social events as well but still struggle. Personally think lots of people on fab wait for the others to message. We get viewed a hell of a lot by couples but very rarely get any messages "
Agree
We've messaged couple's/females that are allegedly looking for meets and get no where. It's actually amusing the amount that don't even read the message yet put status saying they've had no interest.
It's a postcode lottery on here and lots of closed shops |
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"If it makes doublepleasure and sensualdelight feel any better, we'd do all 4 of you at the same time .... If only you lived closer female again .. we have been to quest quite a few times and still end up playing with each other they all seem to stick together even on a night ... we have only been together about 3 months and not had any real intereaction with others yet so not even sure how we feel about it but unless we try we are never going to know x"
we are regulars at quest and find that afternoons are great for us. Not noticed any clicks and everyone is super friendly. Xx |
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"When we go to clubs meeting couples or singles is very easy but on here such hard work soon as you mention meet they mostly won't is it men in these couple profiles and not really couple ?"
It's not really fair to say these couples profiles are men, OK some might be but I'd like to think that most are genuine.
We get messages from couples and we will always message back and have a chit chat, that doesn't mean we want to meet everyone we speak to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are a newish couple as well. We have tried the clubs and organised social events as well but still struggle. Personally think lots of people on fab wait for the others to message. We get viewed a hell of a lot by couples but very rarely get any messages "
When I was on as a couple we pretty much never got mail. I think everyone just waits for people to mail them.. then they delete without reply.
Clubs are easier because face to face you get a quicker feel for any attraction. |
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"We are a newish couple as well. We have tried the clubs and organised social events as well but still struggle. Personally think lots of people on fab wait for the others to message. We get viewed a hell of a lot by couples but very rarely get any messages
If your living in Hemsworth, not everybody can get hold of a gun to visit Female here i dont live in hemsworth i live NEAR it x "
I'm guessing Ackworth you posh cow |
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"We don't go to parties as its not our thing but we do go to clubs in the day time to play alone together. From what we've observed couples tend to go in a group together and stick together making it difficult for someone outside the group to approach the. It might be different in the evenings.
We too find its mostly single men who contact us but couples occasionally do. The problem is that there has to be mutual attraction and too often one or the other of us vetos a meet because we don't find our opposite number to be what we're looking for. This happens whoever makes first contact
We have met couples successfully but it isn't as easy as meeting single men.
Good luck in your search.
"
|
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We go to our favourite club Chameleons usually about twice a month and have been doing so few a good few years.
We are mature( in some people's eyes downright old) not particularly attractive, but reasonably well mannered.
We have reached that time in life when we realise that if we don't make the effort its not going to happen. So our approach in the club to try and make the first move. we work on the principle that if we are rejected or ignored its their loss not ours. Often a genuine compliment on the ladies outfit brings positive results. Most people seem to find being told that they look good a pleasant experience.
There is always the old cliché "Are you regulars here as we don't seem to have had the pleasure of meeting you before"
It only takes a few exchanges to establish whether they are happy to talk or wish to be left alone.
Once chatting a gentle enquiry as to their likes and dislikes helps to set the scene. You can always tell the newbies as they seem to be embarrassed about admitting that they are they hoping for sex. We find that a reassuring tone without being predatory helps and the odd light hearted anecdote about our own disasters calms nerves.
Sorry if this sounds a bit school ma'am ish but we have been round the block a few times and in the process missed the bus more than once.
Good luck in your quest Remember each day not reaching your goal is a day which cant be replaced.
Gill and Aitch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So couples, please tell us - is it easier to get meets in clubs and parties (we did go to a club and met one lovely couple socially);
Or post meets;
Or just message couples in our area;
Or go to socials? Won't say no to single makes but all our messages are from single males!
Is it off-putting because we have only one Verification?"
We've been on the site for 5 years and are finding that we get less and less interest. Have posted meets without one single response - so it's not the fact that you have a new profile.
We definitely think its easier to meet people going to clubs and house parties.
Good luck - hope you find what your looking for x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it hard to get meets as a single fem from here. Hence why I mainly attend clubs, but even then I can come home without having any fun. It's not as easy as people make out, unless of course you're not that particular who you meet. |
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By *wcwCouple
over a year ago
cheshire |
"So couples, please tell us - is it easier to get meets in clubs and parties (we did go to a club and met one lovely couple socially);
Or post meets;
Or just message couples in our area;
Or go to socials? Won't say no to single makes but all our messages are from single males!
Is it off-putting because we have only one Verification?"
I would say deffo going a club. |
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"So couples, please tell us - is it easier to get meets in clubs and parties (we did go to a club and met one lovely couple socially);
Or post meets;
Or just message couples in our area;
Or go to socials? Won't say no to single makes but all our messages are from single males!
Is it off-putting because we have only one Verification?"
I think it's a combination of all but more importantly it's what works best for you guys. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We haven't posted a meet yet but have two socials with a few couples in next few weeks so that's progress! Assuming they will both turn up. Mind you they both have many more Verifications than we do! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are a newish couple as well. We have tried the clubs and organised social events as well but still struggle. Personally think lots of people on fab wait for the others to message. We get viewed a hell of a lot by couples but very rarely get any messages
Agree
We've messaged couple's/females that are allegedly looking for meets and get no where. It's actually amusing the amount that don't even read the message yet put status saying they've had no interest.
It's a postcode lottery on here and lots of closed shops"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it makes doublepleasure and sensualdelight feel any better, we'd do all 4 of you at the same time .... If only you lived closer female again .. we have been to quest quite a few times and still end up playing with each other they all seem to stick together even on a night ... we have only been together about 3 months and not had any real intereaction with others yet so not even sure how we feel about it but unless we try we are never going to know x we are regulars at quest and find that afternoons are great for us. Not noticed any clicks and everyone is super friendly. Xx"
Female here i cant do afternoons i work nights xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are a newish couple as well. We have tried the clubs and organised social events as well but still struggle. Personally think lots of people on fab wait for the others to message. We get viewed a hell of a lot by couples but very rarely get any messages
If your living in Hemsworth, not everybody can get hold of a gun to visit Female here i dont live in hemsworth i live NEAR it x
I'm guessing Ackworth you posh cow "
Female here nope im not posh just your average down to earth female xx oh and will say its quiet were i live no gand warfare or anything xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it hard to get meets as a single fem from here. Hence why I mainly attend clubs, but even then I can come home without having any fun. It's not as easy as people make out, unless of course you're not that particular who you meet."
We attend a club on the couples night and we've found more and more couples stick together and rarely swap. So we can also leave without any fun. |
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"I find it hard to get meets as a single fem from here. Hence why I mainly attend clubs, but even then I can come home without having any fun. It's not as easy as people make out, unless of course you're not that particular who you meet.
We attend a club on the couples night and we've found more and more couples stick together and rarely swap. So we can also leave without any fun."
we have been to couples nights but don't like them. As you say, they tend to stick together so we only go on couples and singles nights now. |
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Clubs are the best for meets. Sifting fab for compatible people can be hard and long winded.
We've had fun meets at clubs, swapped fab names afterwards. Looked at their profile, we'd never have messaged if not met before. |
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