FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Your favourite time waster 'tell'.
Your favourite time waster 'tell'.
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Just had another one go silent with less than 24 hours to go before meeting. I saw it coming because they rang my no.1 alarm bell: being way too keen leading up to the meet, and wanting to play constant private message and phone text ping pong, even though the plans were all sorted and we only really needed to confirm a few hours before.
At least this one wasn't pretending that I was their girlfriend, and constantly phoning for sex chat without texting to confirm first.
So what are your best time waster tells? I could do with tuning my radar a bit more accutely, so all tips are welcome. |
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"If you saw it coming then you wasted your own time "
Not really. I didn't make any preparations or change any plans. I just played along to see if I was right, though I would have been happy to meet if they'd proven me wrong.
An earlier, less cynical me would have got almost as excited as they were over meeting someone so keen. Perhaps someone will read this and save themselves from making the same mistake. |
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"I once wasted six months playing picture Kik message, before I called it quits. So no good asking me coz up,m a dumb ass xxx"
It's difficult. I have one guy I met a couple of times a few years ago. He was a nice bloke and they were decent meets. But all he's done for the last 3 years or so is message about how much he'd like to meet me again. I've repeatedly offered him opportunities and he never takes me up on them. There's one of his messages in my inbox right now. It doesn't feel right to block him, but I can't see the point in replying.
Face pic and phone numbers are good indicators, but I had both of those out of the latest one. Checking mail deletions in your sent folder can be a good tell tale too. If they read and immediately delete, it tends to be a bad sign. Though this doesn't prove anything either way.
I'd love to know how to spot them. The trouble is that most are sincere about meeting when they're horny and online but either don't dare or can't be arsed on the day. It's finding that balance of filtering out most of the bad while retaining most of the good. You don't want to block too many genuines, but you don't want too many time wasters slipping through the net either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've been let down with an hour or two to go before a meet.
Seemed really keen for the first few days, but then started being much less chatty. Then asked if he could change the venue from the hotel he booked (which he sent proof of the booking of). Wanted to meet at ours instead when we had already said we couldn't accommodate.
Maybe he just went off us.
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By *onny1208Couple
over a year ago
Huddersfield |
We spoke to the guy 7 days before arrived at the hotel spoke again and he said he was on his way just never turned up and later said he had to wait in for a repair man lol... we've had several but fortunately always got someone last minute from the who's near app on the phone.... |
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For couples - not being willing to have a phone chat, share pics both way.
For single women - not being willing to have a phone chat
For single men - not being willing to meet at a club.
We had quite a few let-downs early on (before we got the hang of figuring out what kind of meets we wanted), though we were lucky enough to have some great genuine meets otherwise we'd have been really put off.
Nowadays we always have either a social before arranging a home/hotel meet, or arrange to meet at a club or for a drink ahead of going into the club. No more wasted trips out, as if someone is a no-show (validly or not) we'll still have a nice night out.
Also the genuine people we've found tend to be nice, not too pushy, appreciative of the pics without being just lewd. Time-wasters tend to set off the dickhead alarm early on. |
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"Just had another one go silent with less than 24 hours to go before meeting. I saw it coming because they rang my no.1 alarm bell: being way too keen leading up to the meet, and wanting to play constant private message and phone text ping pong, even though the plans were all sorted and we only really needed to confirm a few hours before.
At least this one wasn't pretending that I was their girlfriend, and constantly phoning for sex chat without texting to confirm first.
So what are your best time waster tells? I could do with tuning my radar a bit more accutely, so all tips are welcome."
Apart from what you've already mentioned OP, i will be very suspicious when the person starts to:
1. ask (in great detail) what I'm going to wear.
2. ask me to send 'sexy' pics  |
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By *ikramMan
over a year ago
stockport |
We ought to be naming and shaming. I had one recently a woman who was messaging and texting me constantly. Should have known better.
Not on here looking for penpals.just seen a meet that she has posted.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We ought to be naming and shaming. I had one recently a woman who was messaging and texting me constantly. Should have known better.
Not on here looking for penpals.just seen a meet that she has posted.
"
We shouldn't name and shame, but we should be able to leave a mark on their account that only admins can see. If they get enough of these, and they're not offset by real meets, then they should have their account and email address suspended. |
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By *ikramMan
over a year ago
stockport |
"We ought to be naming and shaming. I had one recently a woman who was messaging and texting me constantly. Should have known better.
Not on here looking for penpals.just seen a meet that she has posted.
We shouldn't name and shame, but we should be able to leave a mark on their account that only admins can see. If they get enough of these, and they're not offset by real meets, then they should have their account and email address suspended. "
That is a great idea. I agree. There should be some failsafe. So they end up wasting other people's time. |
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"1. ask (in great detail) what I'm going to wear.
2. ask me to send 'sexy' pics "
Good ones. If they ask me what I'm going to wear, I usually tell them I haven't decided yet... because I haven't.
True, pic swaps rarely go anywhere positive on here. You think you're revving them up to meet, when in fact you're giving them all that they actually want, just with the pics. On other services (I'm probably not allowed to name here) I've had mixed results with pics. Some only allow you one profile pic and insist that it's non sexual, so it's reasonable to trade more intimate pics. Buy you still get your collectors on those sites too.
Wanted to add: Kik messenger is another of my alarm bells. WhatsApp requires a phone number, as does texting, so I insist on one of those.
"Name and shame" is problematic. It relies on the honesty of the person naming and shaming, which isn't always given. But I'm not above naming a user in my status or profile if they've really hacked me off. Decide for yourself who to believe.
Like the guy who recently cancelled at 2 hours notice, using the excuse that he didn't like my attitude (my profile is somewhat stand-offish, but there was nothing untoward in my texts to him, and certainly nothing that could have changed his mind since his last positive reply.) Basically he'd lost his nerve or couldn't be arsed, but decided to try to spin it round to being my fault rather than his. I have a number of words for people like that, but it's best if I don't repeat them here. |
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By *inkycouplespainCouple
over a year ago
Malaga Spain but sometimes Manchester and |
"Are you on KIK" after exchanging only a few messages. Had one last, now silent.
Was meant to be the women chatting of a couple, hubby was away but far too graphic. Should have known earlier.
D&K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have had one guy that has shown now sign of interest whatsoever for us our tell for timewasters is how sexual they get when messaging. We even tried to encourage him to talk dirty but got very little in response. |
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Planned Meet at hotel (when single)
I had arrived at hotel, he was 'running late' due to m25 traffic.
Waited 30 mins before messaging for update, he replied was 30mins away...45 minutes later messaged again as i waited for reply thought i would log in SE chatroom ... and there he was chatting... to say the least the chatroom got a bit interesting and he got a lot of 'wise' words said to him as i was well-known in the SE chatroom and experienced some repercussions for his actions.
He is still on Fab today and now we joke about it
Lady x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We ought to be naming and shaming. I had one recently a woman who was messaging and texting me constantly. Should have known better.
Not on here looking for penpals.just seen a meet that she has posted.
We shouldn't name and shame, but we should be able to leave a mark on their account that only admins can see. If they get enough of these, and they're not offset by real meets, then they should have their account and email address suspended. "
That sounds a good idea but isn't. What if I am upset with somebody on here and ask freinds to leave a bad mark on their account?
It would be very easy to abuse that leave a mark system you suggest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just had another one go silent with less than 24 hours to go before meeting. I saw it coming because they rang my no.1 alarm bell: being way too keen leading up to the meet, and wanting to play constant private message and phone text ping pong, even though the plans were all sorted and we only really needed to confirm a few hours before.
At least this one wasn't pretending that I was their girlfriend, and constantly phoning for sex chat without texting to confirm first.
So what are your best time waster tells? I could do with tuning my radar a bit more accutely, so all tips are welcome.
Apart from what you've already mentioned OP, i will be very suspicious when the person starts to:
1. ask (in great detail) what I'm going to wear.
2. ask me to send 'sexy' pics "
Another classic is the male half of a couple asking you to tell him what you would do to his wife sexually. You just know his wife (if he has one) has no idea he is on a swinging website. |
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"1. ask (in great detail) what I'm going to wear.
2. ask me to send 'sexy' pics
Good ones. If they ask me what I'm going to wear, I usually tell them I haven't decided yet... because I haven't.
True, pic swaps rarely go anywhere positive on here. You think you're revving them up to meet, when in fact you're giving them all that they actually want, just with the pics. On other services (I'm probably not allowed to name here) I've had mixed results with pics. Some only allow you one profile pic and insist that it's non sexual, so it's reasonable to trade more intimate pics. Buy you still get your collectors on those sites too.
Wanted to add: Kik messenger is another of my alarm bells. WhatsApp requires a phone number, as does texting, so I insist on one of those.
"Name and shame" is problematic. It relies on the honesty of the person naming and shaming, which isn't always given. But I'm not above naming a user in my status or profile if they've really hacked me off. Decide for yourself who to believe.
Like the guy who recently cancelled at 2 hours notice, using the excuse that he didn't like my attitude (my profile is somewhat stand-offish, but there was nothing untoward in my texts to him, and certainly nothing that could have changed his mind since his last positive reply.) Basically he'd lost his nerve or couldn't be arsed, but decided to try to spin it round to being my fault rather than his. I have a number of words for people like that, but it's best if I don't repeat them here."
We don't mind kik, but the amount of people that ask us to go on there after 2 messages is astounding. That's when it sets our alarm off. After a while of chatting isn't so bad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't bother if they send a face pic that's from 20 metres away and they're wearing sunglasses . That or ask for face pics without sending any themselves....too eager is a good sign too. For couples if they won't both webcam or let me speak to the lady on the phone, obviously just a single male or a clueless wife  |
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
Top tell: Posting a status saying that they are free all day and looking to meet... on the very same date that you're meeting them - Alarm bells ringing off the scale and yet, I still went to meet them, and I was so surprised when they ignored all my messages and never turned up. |
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"I had a "single women's profile randomly fire a friend request last night, ignored it out of principle. A few hours later i got a message saying she wanted to meet. Obviously a fake."
I wonder if it's a 'bot' though.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The first woman I got chatting too on here.She seemed lovely and we chatted a lot over two days and spoke about everything from the weather to sex.We had so much in common so we both agreed to meeting up just for a coffee in a public place.
I got so nervous and got all dressed up to make a good first impression and I was just left sat there like a idiot.She wouldn't reply to my texts but like a fool I just sat there for nearly a hour incase she was held up.
I came home and messaged her on here and got a reply instantly saying the police had pulled her over for speeding and she was in a police cell.
WHAT? I didn't think you could get put in a police cell for speeding and do they let you take your phone in there aswell now? And how come my text messages where egnored but I get a instant reply on here?
When I asked her this she blocked me with no reply and blocked my phone number to her phone.
I will never understand why people do that as it does hurt and make you feel like a fool but I won't let that one person taint my views on everyone x |
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we arranged a meet with a fantastic looking "BBC" guy 2 weeks ago. Great comms. Alarm bell was day of meet, he messaged several times at 430am to say how keen he was, then nothing. Didn't turn up, yet posting a meet that evening. Fortunately now UNLOS |
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"The first woman I got chatting too on here.She seemed lovely and we chatted a lot over two days and spoke about everything from the weather to sex.We had so much in common so we both agreed to meeting up just for a coffee in a public place.
I got so nervous and got all dressed up to make a good first impression and I was just left sat there like a idiot.She wouldn't reply to my texts but like a fool I just sat there for nearly a hour incase she was held up.
I came home and messaged her on here and got a reply instantly saying the police had pulled her over for speeding and she was in a police cell.
WHAT? I didn't think you could get put in a police cell for speeding and do they let you take your phone in there aswell now? And how come my text messages where egnored but I get a instant reply on here?
When I asked her this she blocked me with no reply and blocked my phone number to her phone.
I will never understand why people do that as it does hurt and make you feel like a fool but I won't let that one person taint my views on everyone x "
That's terrible.
Nowadays I always tell my potential meet to contact me (text) 2-3 hours before the meet.
If they didn't do that, I wont bother getting ready and do my own things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The first woman I got chatting too on here.She seemed lovely and we chatted a lot over two days and spoke about everything from the weather to sex.We had so much in common so we both agreed to meeting up just for a coffee in a public place.
I got so nervous and got all dressed up to make a good first impression and I was just left sat there like a idiot.She wouldn't reply to my texts but like a fool I just sat there for nearly a hour incase she was held up.
I came home and messaged her on here and got a reply instantly saying the police had pulled her over for speeding and she was in a police cell.
WHAT? I didn't think you could get put in a police cell for speeding and do they let you take your phone in there aswell now? And how come my text messages where egnored but I get a instant reply on here?
When I asked her this she blocked me with no reply and blocked my phone number to her phone.
I will never understand why people do that as it does hurt and make you feel like a fool but I won't let that one person taint my views on everyone x
That's terrible.
Nowadays I always tell my potential meet to contact me (text) 2-3 hours before the meet.
If they didn't do that, I wont bother getting ready and do my own things. "
In one way I should of seen the signs when she said no voice calls as her husband is unaware she's on here.
The other thing was she said she knew the cafe by my house as she went there with her sister years ago.
So she would do all the traveling as she was 30miles away.Thays the only reason I wanted for so long as I would of felt bad if she was genuinely held up.
When you look back afterwards it all seems a bit too convenient but I still don't get why they do that? x |
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By *ikramMan
over a year ago
stockport |
"Had a mature lady wanting £50 PayPal payment so not to waste her time and she would give me back once we met ,great scam but who falls for that ."
Yes i have had that a couple of times recently: emerging trend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had a mature lady wanting £50 PayPal payment so not to waste her time and she would give me back once we met ,great scam but who falls for that .
Yes i have had that a couple of times recently: emerging trend"
lol anyone got £50 I can borrow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We ought to be naming and shaming. I had one recently a woman who was messaging and texting me constantly. Should have known better.
Not on here looking for penpals.just seen a meet that she has posted.
We shouldn't name and shame, but we should be able to leave a mark on their account that only admins can see. If they get enough of these, and they're not offset by real meets, then they should have their account and email address suspended.
That is a great idea. I agree. There should be some failsafe. So they end up wasting other people's time. "
In my mind, it's kind of like a karma score. It won't keep any comments or scores about the person, but from a backend perspective could be used to quickly identify users who have negative scores and highlight them for review. The site managers can easily check a few logs for patterns and delete as appropriate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We ought to be naming and shaming. I had one recently a woman who was messaging and texting me constantly. Should have known better.
Not on here looking for penpals.just seen a meet that she has posted.
We shouldn't name and shame, but we should be able to leave a mark on their account that only admins can see. If they get enough of these, and they're not offset by real meets, then they should have their account and email address suspended. "
It already exists. You can report them to Admin for no show.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just this minute had another "couple" message us asking us to add them on kik on message 2. The coincidence is laughable!  "
Eeek! Didn't know people took this as a sign of being fake.
Im writing this as the female half of a couple who will regularly ask to move the chat to Kik after the second or third message. It's just so much easier to get 3 or 4 of us in a chat together to discuss preferences and rules etc.
Bit worried that people think it's bad to ask so soon. |
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"we arranged a meet with a fantastic looking "BBC" guy 2 weeks ago. Great comms. Alarm bell was day of meet, he messaged several times at 430am to say how keen he was, then nothing. Didn't turn up, yet posting a meet that evening. Fortunately now UNLOS"
Unfortunately, probably back on the site under a different user name, and able to message you (if you blocked his old account) and do the whole thing all over again... unless you twig that it's him.
Oh, new term: BBPC. That's when their pics show an erection the length and girth of a wine bottle, but when you get to meet them, it's absolutely nothing to write home about. (P = Photoshopped, in case it isn't obvious.) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
For couples - not being willing to have a phone chat, share pics both way.
For single women - not being willing to have a phone chat
For single men - not being willing to meet at a club.
"
I won't meet you in a club but I'm not a time waster. When I agree to meet I always do.  |
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By *igwilly2kMan
over a year ago
The Land of Kink! |
I was talking to a Kinky couple on here with a view to meet. They were heavily into BDSM and wanted their own AVE to use an. On weekend ect.
So the meet was amonth away, they said I have to complete kinky & humiliating tasks and challenges to prove myself worthy to serve them. So I thought point. I would get a message on here in the week with things to buy or to prepair me for the cam session to 'prove myself'. So every Friday & Saturday night I would be on cam. The Mrs of the couple would be there when they Skype chat started, teasing for 5 mins then disappear saying just do what master says and she'll be back,. It will be worth it blah blah blah and the rest of it.
So for 4 weeks, I was used & humiliated on cam by the husband, from wearing different times, paddling my arse red raw, pulling off nipple clamps, gagging on deep dildos, watersports games and punishments, cum drinking ect.
Then there was a final test, this went on for nearly two hours, anyway I was a good submissive and passed  they meet was the next week weekend and guess what...
THEY DISAPPEARED   
Really annoyed about this one, and to this day I have still not met another kinky couple on fab.
Can anyone help!? PM me if your interested!   |
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Once had a meet in manchester so 30mins on a train for me so got ready went to meet her txted rung and nothing so back home she then pops up saying she was asleep and so I give her another chance she shows up an hour late did not stop playing on her phone and tbh talking to her was like getting blood from a stone but I said ok we will meet again so once agai back in manchester an hour after she had not shown I ring her a few times and msg her and so now an hour and 45mins later I get the train back yo her msging me askibg where I was and why I not kept ringing and such maybe it was just a mix up but I felt like a fool so not again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been let down a couple of times, once on my to Exeter for a meet as I was halfway there. Plus a no show. Yet I'm still here, as we all are. I guess it's just one of those things we have to deal with on a site like this. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
before i joined this site i got a few time wasters, people wanting sex chat only but pretending they wanted to meet. and it was easy to figure out after about not many guys, they wanted to go off the site straight away and chat on kik, so wanting to go off site as soon as you start chatting is one thing.
think the worst time wasters are the ones who turn up to a meet and are selfish and you get literally nothing from meeting them. not had many of them thank god.
and me living near to a swingers club means guys who go to there and don't get sex will try and get a local fuck so they didn't travel all this way for nothing, took me a while to figure these guys out. bit i did. |
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"We spoke to the guy 7 days before arrived at the hotel spoke again and he said he was on his way just never turned up and later said he had to wait in for a repair man lol... we've had several but fortunately always got someone last minute from the who's near app on the phone.... "
Very silly boy you're smoking |
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"Well my time waster du jour was last online 15 minutes ago, viewed my profile 3 hours and 23 hours ago, and still hasn't messaged or texted. Block button time, I think."
Block and next.
For my money, you're very straight down the line and people like us can have an unrealistic expectation that others behave the same. You're also big hearted and because of that very understanding, but on the flip side that means you don't always demand to be treated with the respect you deserve.
To answer the main question though, I think it's less about individual tells and more about patterns of behaviour, so if a couple of things don't sit right, give them enough rope to hang themselves and see what they do with it.
Big squishy hugs headed your way.
XxX |
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Any, and I mean ANY doubts whatsoever during your interaction with someone and you can bet your bottom dollar the meet won't work.
You have intuition for a reason: use it.
I also think the underlying problem with some people on here is that they are in love with the IDEA of swinging and unprepared to deal with the practicalities. So they think of having a fuck with a stranger and forget that they willneed to whower, iron some clothes, get ready, smell nice, travel to meet someone, chat awhile, fuck (the bit they want) then travel home. That all takes effort so they don't bother. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had the silent treatment before a recent hotel meet. Was staying there anyway so no huge problem but we'd text and chatted for a week or so beforehand, no naughty chat, just normal stuff to get to know each other. I text the morning of the meet to confirm, saw he'd read it and heard nothing back. Gave him the whole day, until an hour before the arranged time, then left a message saying as I hadn't heard back I assume he wasn't coming and wished him well then sorted a meet with someone else who turned up on time Not heard from him since. I don't care if he changed his mind, just would be nice if people were mature enough to say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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KIK request early in the conversation
No pics of a couple together
The line "We are so busy at the moment" after they've initiated contact
Sex talk via here, crap pics, crap profile, no veris, no veris in the last 6 months, not sure what they are looking for.........
...... the list is endless, but timewasters make for good sport when we are bored
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"Just this minute had another "couple" message us asking us to add them on kik on message 2. The coincidence is laughable!
Eeek! Didn't know people took this as a sign of being fake.
Im writing this as the female half of a couple who will regularly ask to move the chat to Kik after the second or third message. It's just so much easier to get 3 or 4 of us in a chat together to discuss preferences and rules etc.
Bit worried that people think it's bad to ask so soon. "
To be fair it's normally following a message that says they're horny, or they don't have pictures to show on here (it takes 2 minutes to upload pictures)
We always prefer to make sure people are real before we move to kik. No offence intended, if that works for you carry on |
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Gosh, ive been so lucky..touch wood (so to speak),ive only had one let down and it came as no surprise because she warned she might change her mind (she had good reasons)...i guess its much worse for fems or couples as most guilty are guys..given men have more profiles, its not too surprising |
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"Gosh, ive been so lucky..touch wood (so to speak),ive only had one let down and it came as no surprise because she warned she might change her mind (she had good reasons)...i guess its much worse for fems or couples as most guilty are guys..given men have more profiles, its not too surprising"
I think it's very different meeting women (real women, rather than men hiding behind women's and couples' profiles.) They tend to see the people they talk to as people with feelings, rather than objects to wank about. They don't have the male sex drive that gets itself revved up to the point where it would fuck the gap between the sofa cushions, and then disappears completely at the moment of orgasm, leaving them embarrassed and ashamed about whatever they've just done. |
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If we are arranging a group session and we want 6 guys to turn up; experience has taught us that we need to have 18 who will say they are turning up. 2 out of 3 are either no shows or "something came up last minute". |
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I once sent a "fancy a fuck" message to a hot girl who was # 1 on the most gabbed picture list.
The time wasting cock teaser just deleted my message, I will never get those 8 seconds of my life back, totally wasted ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have chatted to a couple who done loads of socials and always trying to arrange a play meet
However they get the date mixed up or something crops up
Next thing they've had another social
Know it's not just us as been messaged by mutual friends
Given up trying to arrange now
Think they get of on thought of it .. |
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