FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Ladies -Do you ever send the opening message to guys?
Ladies -Do you ever send the opening message to guys?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Question for the ladies - do you ever send the opening message to guys or couples first? I never do. Probably because I would not wish a delete or a no thanks. I would rather get into messages with someone I know was interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Defo - why not ?
We are just people .....
They may have a funny pic or great smile or Kool comment on forums or appealing profile .... one of the best lovers (now real mate) was a chap I approached and he never lets me forget it ... giggle  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is the 21st century so why shouldn't you send the first message if you find someone appealing enough.
Look at it from a different ppint of view.
A lot of you ladied browse in ninja mode so most of the time, we're unlikely to know you've even looked at us let alone that you'd be interested, so you are relying on us coming and finding you, and considering whether we think you'd be intetested or not.
Those who won't send the first message may well be missing opportunities simply for the sake of an unsent message.
What if our search criteria doesn't bring you up in our search results - distance or whatever.
If you like the look of someone, drop them a line.
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I would love to send the first message, unfortunately most males in my area have shit profiles (1 liners) and a cock pic.
How the hell can I send the first message based on that? I don't have a fragile ego, I just have a brain that needs to be stimulated, hence I go months being celibate  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have done a few times. Most mostly I'll wink to see what they think first  "
=======================================
Winks are a good indicator that a girl is interested in a man. I love getting them .... like most single guys on Fab, I suspect. So, good for you xxx, Mike |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would love to send the first message, unfortunately most males in my area have shit profiles (1 liners) and a cock pic.
How the hell can I send the first message based on that? I don't have a fragile ego, I just have a brain that needs to be stimulated, hence I go months being celibate "
This. So many guys don't make an effort with their profile. Maybe fab should do an experiment, only women can message men, see if they make an effort then?? Probably not  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes i do. I dont have a fragile ego
I like the guy to do the chasing too...But I think we are all sensitive to criticism to a degree on fab"
So if guys had the same mentality you'd never speak to anyone? Of course I'm kidding ALL guys will be interested in anything they can get a fuck out of |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
I have sent the first message if I really like a profile. Sometimes I've regretted it  . I did message a guy with no pics once purely on the strength of his profile and a couple of forum posts I'd seen, and that turned out very nicely  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes i do. I dont have a fragile ego
I like the guy to do the chasing too...But I think we are all sensitive to criticism to a degree on fab
So if guys had the same mentality you'd never speak to anyone? Of course I'm kidding ALL guys will be interested in anything they can get a fuck out of"
I'm happy with not.messaging first and won't change what suits. Just curious to see if others had a similar viewpoint that's all! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep - everyone I've met, or talked to for an extended amount of time, has been due to me messaging them first.
I'm a big girl, I can cope with rejection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ALL guys will be interested in anything they can get a fuck out of
I fully disagree with this statement.
I dont just wanna fuck everything that moves"
What a sweeping generalisation. Maybe the men you chat to but I'm after quality not quantity. This comment is very offensive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question for the ladies - do you ever send the opening message to guys or couples first? I never do. Probably because I would not wish a delete or a no thanks. I would rather get into messages with someone I know was interested."
no winks or post sent to me
BILLY NO MATES
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ALL guys will be interested in anything they can get a fuck out of
I fully disagree with this statement.
I dont just wanna fuck everything that moves"
What about if they stay dead still? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question for the ladies - do you ever send the opening message to guys or couples first? I never do. Probably because I would not wish a delete or a no thanks. I would rather get into messages with someone I know was interested."
Always
I've blocked all men as I couldn't keep up with messages
So I always contact the men x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Normally i'll message first if ive winked at them and they wink back at me
OR
If im feeling very blunt and think they're fit as fuck haha, no point hanging around! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question for the ladies - do you ever send the opening message to guys or couples first? I never do. Probably because I would not wish a delete or a no thanks. I would rather get into messages with someone I know was interested.
no winks or post sent to me
BILLY NO MATES
"
i do not get any like that to so i do not send as they get deleted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ALL guys will be interested in anything they can get a fuck out of
I fully disagree with this statement.
I dont just wanna fuck everything that moves
What a sweeping generalisation. Maybe the men you chat to but I'm after quality not quantity. This comment is very offensive."
 SOME guys maybe you should have put. I've had guys delete my message without reply, which is fine, so not all men are interested in anything they can get a fuck out of. |
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"
SOME guys maybe you should have put. I've had guys delete my message without reply, which is fine, so not all men are interested in anything they can get a fuck out of."
That i will agree with probably 9 times out of 10 it would be the case but not all of us are the same, i wish people would remember that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question for the ladies - do you ever send the opening message to guys or couples first? I never do. Probably because I would not wish a delete or a no thanks. I would rather get into messages with someone I know was interested."
I often get ladies messaging first, perhaps I just attract the bolder kind more than the shy types ha. I wouldn't be afraid of one "no thanks" every so often, after all there's plenty of other guys on here.
Plus going on the threads posted, plenty of men seem to get them all the time or instead no reply at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ALL guys will be interested in anything they can get a fuck out of
I fully disagree with this statement.
I dont just wanna fuck everything that moves"
I've messaged / winked at guys before and had no reply or a deleted message. Men are allowed to be choosy too. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Question for the ladies - do you ever send the opening message to guys or couples first? I never do. Probably because I would not wish a delete or a no thanks. I would rather get into messages with someone I know was interested.
I often get ladies messaging first, perhaps I just attract the bolder kind more than the shy types ha. I wouldn't be afraid of one "no thanks" every so often, after all there's plenty of other guys on here.
Plus going on the threads posted, plenty of men seem to get them all the time or instead no reply at all."
I believe I even contacted you first once |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had one or two first messages from women.
Honestly, it feels amazing. It makes such a lovely change from sending mail for no response, that it leaves me grinning from ear to ear every time.
And I always send a reply, as receiving a first message is really flattering. Even if I didn't fancy them, it makes my day to get mail.
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We've messaged quite a few guys. Only one has ever led to a meet though so far. Many don't ever respond so we put it down to we're not their type and move on.
Plus I must agree with a comment on this thread it's hard finding guys when majority of profiles contain little to entice a message e.g. lack of info, photos or the "just ask if you want to know anything" profile text. We've started blocking these just to rule them out and stop them from popping up in our feeds/searches. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Question for the ladies - do you ever send the opening message to guys or couples first? I never do. Probably because I would not wish a delete or a no thanks. I would rather get into messages with someone I know was interested."
Yes.
I/we prefer to search for single men and send the first message.
Some reply and some don't...that's life!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women get so many messages already so I ask for a wink 1st so I know it's ok to chat.
Probably why I don't get meets lol.
Could be the shit profile as well though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question for the ladies - do you ever send the opening message to guys or couples first? I never do. Probably because I would not wish a delete or a no thanks. I would rather get into messages with someone I know was interested.
I often get ladies messaging first, perhaps I just attract the bolder kind more than the shy types ha. I wouldn't be afraid of one "no thanks" every so often, after all there's plenty of other guys on here.
Plus going on the threads posted, plenty of men seem to get them all the time or instead no reply at all.
I believe I even contacted you first once "
I believe you did Madam and a delightful surprise it was too! I'm still wanting to meet up when our locations align like planets....x |
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"I would love to send the first message, unfortunately most males in my area have shit profiles (1 liners) and a cock pic.
How the hell can I send the first message based on that? I don't have a fragile ego, I just have a brain that needs to be stimulated, hence I go months being celibate
This. So many guys don't make an effort with their profile. Maybe fab should do an experiment, only women can message men, see if they make an effort then?? Probably not "
Did I make an effort with my profile or not, in your opinion? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As woman we are fortunately not to have to send initial messages if we don't want.
However I do still send them occasionally if I like a profile, because why not. No one can be attractive to everyone so it's not a problem if someone politely rejects me, just means we aren't right, no loss. xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Of course! I'm not going to sit on a pedestal like a damn princess, awaiting knob pics and yet another 'hey, how's you' message "
This really made me giggle! xx |
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If the only thing putting you off is the fact it might get ignored just jump in trust me most women will get a reply I'd love more to do it I know it would put a smile on my face just to get one (poor old me lol) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes i do. I dont have a fragile ego"
no i don't and I dont have a fragile ego .... just theres no need to as i get all the messages i need from those who message me even after deleting most |
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By *ill74Man
over a year ago
New forest area |
"I've had one or two first messages from women.
Honestly, it feels amazing. It makes such a lovely change from sending mail for no response, that it leaves me grinning from ear to ear every time.
And I always send a reply, as receiving a first message is really flattering. Even if I didn't fancy them, it makes my day to get mail.
"
This. It does make a nice change to be messaged 1st. More of it please. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've messaged quite a few guys over the years, and regularly wink guys that I like the look of. I rarely get a reply, which is fine. Most of the replies I do get are a bit rubbish as they seem to assume that because I messaged or winked first, it's an automatic fast-track pass to a shag |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've messaged quite a few guys over the years, and regularly wink guys that I like the look of. I rarely get a reply, which is fine. Most of the replies I do get are a bit rubbish as they seem to assume that because I messaged or winked first, it's an automatic fast-track pass to a shag "
That's perhaps one reason that would also deter me from messaging first |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes i do. I dont have a fragile ego
no i don't and I dont have a fragile ego .... just theres no need to as i get all the messages i need from those who message me even after deleting most "
Exactly |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Of course! I'm not going to sit on a pedestal like a damn princess, awaiting knob pics and yet another 'hey, how's you' message "
That's definitely a fair point! |
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By *ddit...Man
over a year ago
Land of the giants... ;-) |
"Yes i do. I dont have a fragile ego
no i don't and I dont have a fragile ego .... just theres no need to as i get all the messages i need from those who message me even after deleting most
Exactly"
I know it's the natural order of life not just Fabs.. men do like to approached first sometimes though..
Ok.. question for the ladies.. if on fabs you let the men approach you and don't make the first move.. in real life is it different? Are you more likely to make the first move in a bar?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Quite often people ask for messages to be interesting, original and to stand out, and to not be one liners. Can I ask how you ladies that are happy to message others first achieve this? |
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It's definitely a nice to receive, got one recently. We know getting noticed on here is hard, but good to know your profile standards out amongst the many others.
Do give a try, most of us don't bite, unless asked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Quite often people ask for messages to be interesting, original and to stand out, and to not be one liners. Can I ask how you ladies that are happy to message others first achieve this?"
By operating the pussy pass |
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"Quite often people ask for messages to be interesting, original and to stand out, and to not be one liners. Can I ask how you ladies that are happy to message others first achieve this?
By operating the pussy pass"
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
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By *ddit...Man
over a year ago
Land of the giants... ;-) |
"Quite often people ask for messages to be interesting, original and to stand out, and to not be one liners. Can I ask how you ladies that are happy to message others first achieve this?
By operating the pussy pass"
Where would you swipe the pussy pass? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Quite often people ask for messages to be interesting, original and to stand out, and to not be one liners. Can I ask how you ladies that are happy to message others first achieve this?"
By reading a profile, but then I don't ask for messages to be interesting or original, I just ask that guys send a respectful first message and not one that says "Nice tits, will you sit on my face"... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Quite often people ask for messages to be interesting, original and to stand out, and to not be one liners. Can I ask how you ladies that are happy to message others first achieve this?
By operating the pussy pass"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes i do. I dont have a fragile ego
no i don't and I dont have a fragile ego .... just theres no need to as i get all the messages i need from those who message me even after deleting most
Exactly
I know it's the natural order of life not just Fabs.. men do like to approached first sometimes though..
Ok.. question for the ladies.. if on fabs you let the men approach you and don't make the first move.. in real life is it different? Are you more likely to make the first move in a bar? "
natural order ?? are you for real lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have. I message lots of people. Usually to compliment their pics or something... usually the guys i want to.meet the most are way too far away though. Boooooo."
Too far away you say Madam? That's a shame.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would of thought it was 90%males getting the meet through bringing the subject up first can't see many females saying ! Hey our lad fancy meeting someone for a drink then a shag ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would love to send the first message, unfortunately most males in my area have shit profiles (1 liners) and a cock pic.
How the hell can I send the first message based on that? I don't have a fragile ego, I just have a brain that needs to be stimulated, hence I go months being celibate
This. So many guys don't make an effort with their profile. Maybe fab should do an experiment, only women can message men, see if they make an effort then?? Probably not "
I don't know how to start this without sounding old..
When I was younger no, no.
This reminds of club nights back in the (cough cough) where it was the females prerogativeto talkand ask the men to dance. Men made the effort for these parties. They were know as turn-a-round dances..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Two people I chat to daily and have met one a number of times, I messaged first. If I like someone I'll let them know. I'm not afraid of being turned down, I've got a tough exterior |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most definitely yes. If I see someone that attracts mt attention, then I will send the first message. I certainly don't expect to just sit back and expect people to come running to me. You make your own fun/luck on Fab. |
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