FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > One of my close friends is also a fabber..Should I let her know I know?
One of my close friends is also a fabber..Should I let her know I know?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We see each other every week through work and enjoy nights out but I know she met someone after her partner passed on and they have a couples profile. They contacted me and sent face pics. I made an excuse not to meet when I knew it was her. I don't feel comfortable swinging with her however! I don't.mind if she swings of.course but it.may be awkward if we.meet at fab parties and socials however. Should I bring the subject up when we meet next week at work? Or wait till we will bump into each other at parties as they have been to a lot |
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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago
Retirement Village |
If you are as close as you say and have alone time with each other oerhaps you can hint at it there and see if she wants to come forward. If she doesnt and wants that part of her life private then keep it a secret for her as she seems a close friend to you  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I genuinely think she would be terribly embarassed if she thought I knew this. I don't mind bringing up the subject but I don't want to lose our friendship either. |
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"I genuinely think she would be terribly embarassed if she thought I knew this. I don't mind bringing up the subject but I don't want to lose our friendship either. "
I had a similar experience a few years back. I've known the couple for about 15 years and had always fancied the female.
I was in the chtatrooms about 6 years ago, chatting away to a girl down south, when a guy on a couples profile started cockblocking me and inviting same girl up to Scotland. I checked the profile and the fem pics were lovely ( no face though) so I clicked on their can to see if she was there too. On cam was my mate of almost 10 years, banging one out to the same girl on cam as I was 
I'd no face pics in public so I just logged out and left. In the following weeks I felt like he was dropping all sorts of hints, first subtle then not so subtle. First he shared a fantasy about watching his partner being fucked by one of her workmates, then when just us we're 1-1 within a group, he'd name drop both Scottish clubs, CJs and After8. I chose just to poker face him, but it's always felt like an elephant in the room since then.
Pretty sure he knows I know but have no idea if she does. She's way way out of my league anyway.
I chose never to bring it up as it felt like I'd inadvertently invaded HER privacy. I'm sure she'd be embarrassed that I knew about them being on fab (not him though I think he'd shout it from the rooftops if she'd let him lol) Different if they broached the subject with me, I'd just reassure them discretion assured.
Other thought I had was that the rest of the group of guys (the vanilla ones) have long held the belief that he plays away and she doesn't know. I know better, but just in case I'm mistaken and the couples profile is him and some other female, it's best I never say anything.
She's still a total hottie though  |
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"We see each other every week through work and enjoy nights out but I know she met someone after her partner passed on and they have a couples profile. They contacted me and sent face pics. I made an excuse not to meet when I knew it was her. I don't feel comfortable swinging with her however! I don't.mind if she swings of.course but it.may be awkward if we.meet at fab parties and socials however. Should I bring the subject up when we meet next week at work? Or wait till we will bump into each other at parties as they have been to a lot"
Sorry forgot to ask, when you said you weren't comfortable swinging with her did you mean because it's too close to home and you're already friends, or that you just don't fancy her in that way? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I genuinely think she would be terribly embarassed if she thought I knew this. I don't mind bringing up the subject but I don't want to lose our friendship either.
I had a similar experience a few years back. I've known the couple for about 15 years and had always fancied the female.
I was in the chtatrooms about 6 years ago, chatting away to a girl down south, when a guy on a couples profile started cockblocking me and inviting same girl up to Scotland. I checked the profile and the fem pics were lovely ( no face though) so I clicked on their can to see if she was there too. On cam was my mate of almost 10 years, banging one out to the same girl on cam as I was
I'd no face pics in public so I just logged out and left. In the following weeks I felt like he was dropping all sorts of hints, first subtle then not so subtle. First he shared a fantasy about watching his partner being fucked by one of her workmates, then when just us we're 1-1 within a group, he'd name drop both Scottish clubs, CJs and After8. I chose just to poker face him, but it's always felt like an elephant in the room since then.
Pretty sure he knows I know but have no idea if she does. She's way way out of my league anyway.
I chose never to bring it up as it felt like I'd inadvertently invaded HER privacy. I'm sure she'd be embarrassed that I knew about them being on fab (not him though I think he'd shout it from the rooftops if she'd let him lol) Different if they broached the subject with me, I'd just reassure them discretion assured.
Other thought I had was that the rest of the group of guys (the vanilla ones) have long held the belief that he plays away and she doesn't know. I know better, but just in case I'm mistaken and the couples profile is him and some other female, it's best I never say anything.
She's still a total hottie though "
That is really interesting what you said and I am with you there. I cannot contemplate ever having sexual contact with this dear friend and colleague. I admire her but only as pals. My only concern is that I meet her and her boyfriend at a social or private party. I don't want to lose our friendship though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We bumped into a girl my missus knew from school a while back. She told as soon as we sent face pics that she knew my missus, and was then totally honest about who she was when I asked.
This really made us think very highly of her and regardless of whether we play or not, this is how we would prefer people to behave if they knew us.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I genuinely think she would be terribly embarassed if she thought I knew this. I don't mind bringing up the subject but I don't want to lose our friendship either. "
If you really like to join them, then you tell her that you joined this site and see what her reaction to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In our opinion, sooner rather than later. If it's later, she might think, "OMG, how much more do you know, who have you spoken to etc.."
Who knows, she may be cool about it but we reckon you should cover the subject when you next she her. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We see each other every week through work and enjoy nights out but I know she met someone after her partner passed on and they have a couples profile. They contacted me and sent face pics. I made an excuse not to meet when I knew it was her. I don't feel comfortable swinging with her however! I don't.mind if she swings of.course but it.may be awkward if we.meet at fab parties and socials however. Should I bring the subject up when we meet next week at work? Or wait till we will bump into each other at parties as they have been to a lot
Sorry forgot to ask, when you said you weren't comfortable swinging with her did you mean because it's too close to home and you're already friends, or that you just don't fancy her in that way?"
Both. She is only ever a friend and no more. But even if I did fancy her it would be too close to home |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd bring it up,it'd be less awkward being honest than coming face to face no warning,I'm sure you'd have a laugh about it and a good chat about shared experiences x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I really appreciate the feedback and comments from you all. I was thinking of merely skirting round the subject of swinging in general and seeing how it went from there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when working in the local transport sector, a guy who I saw at previous socials and spoke to regularly in the chat rooms. never mentioned it while working but did explain to him on-line that evening (also was the day I found out about a colleague who had died) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you genuinely think she's be embarrassed then why would you even think of bringing it up, potentially causing her said embarrassment and maybe causing a rift between you? |
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
"If you genuinely think she's be embarrassed then why would you even think of bringing it up, potentially causing her said embarrassment and maybe causing a rift between you? "
I think as above and also.
If you happen to see each other at a social etc then that would be the time to chat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's happened to us people we know well bumped into them at clubs 100 miles from home it was fine we would never play with them we don't mix but we have a laugh about our adventures |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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imagine it coming from a male though..
"it's a FAB day"..
"party? what kind of PARTY"
"I have no plans this weekend but I've been invited to a 'parteyyyyyy..you know what I mean" |
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By *ltrMan
over a year ago
sheffield |
Walking into a swing club
The first couple I bumped into was my boss and his wife just looked he winked and walked off next day he came over and said we were both at the club for fun no need to let the rest of staff what happened
The guy was mint after that and even offered to take me to a club in Birmingham I declined
Seeing him once naked was enough |
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If they have messaged you why not message them. Say we know each other in the real world and I don't feel comfortable meeting to play but want you to know I swing just in case we bump into each other on the scene.
I spotted my twin sister and her husband on fab. I blocked them and hid all my photos. A couple of months later we bumped into each other at a club. It was a bit awkward for a few minutes and then we had a good laugh about it. We have chatted a lot about clubs and she tends to let me know when they are planning to visit the club I go to most often. We don't want to cramp one anthers style and more importantly we don't want all those who fantasise about being with twins to hassle us if we were to go on the same night. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Guess there is a good chance they will see your post on here and twig.
Not everyone who reads the forums post."
I doubt they would have a clue I was referring to them as I get contacted by a lot of people regarding meets. This also happened some time ago |
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By *enksMan
over a year ago
hereford |
I did find a work colleague on a picture posting site a while back which was a huge turn on seeing her showing off her body especially as she was quite reserved at work. Looking through the comments it appears that a group of ladies were daring each other to post themselves. She made several posts ending up with some blowjob pic's. The issue I had was, was it her posting or boyfriend/ex and did she know so left a comment about looking familiar and then she/he contacted via messenger but still to this day I dont know if she knew I had seen her naked pictures. she did seem a little friendlier at work but that was probably my imagination so did not say anything to her even when she announced she was leaving several years later. I still have the pic's and enjoy then and hope to bump into her at a swinger event sometime as her profile and comments implied she swings quite a bit |
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I was part of a swinging couple and became aware of a couple of members of staff that were not only on this site but had contacted my other half at the time. I was quite open and unashamed and able to chat with them even though I was their manager. I was much older and I think they were more embarrassed than I was. However It wouldn't have been wise to have taken it any further and leave my self open to a conflict of interest in the workplace. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok.i have not brought this up to her. However she.messaged.me the following week to ask if I would come to their small party and I made an excuse. Then a few days later asked again and my reply was "I would feel awkward as I think we know each other in the real world". She replied saying "what do you mean, the real world?" I didn't reply so it has been left hanging. I have chosen not to bring it up but I know our paths may well cross at a party or club. I am still debating whether or not to speak to her about it however. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok.i have not brought this up to her. However she.messaged.me the following week to ask if I would come to their small party and I made an excuse. Then a few days later asked again and my reply was "I would feel awkward as I think we know each other in the real world". She replied saying "what do you mean, the real world?" I didn't reply so it has been left hanging. I have chosen not to bring it up but I know our paths may well cross at a party or club. I am still debating whether or not to speak to her about it however."
If it was me I'd say nothing and just deal with it if I ever bumped into her at a party or club. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been in the same situation 3 times over the years , How we played it was pretty simple we recognised one cple so contacted them no answer so accepted no interest due to association.
Another we contacted again via fab they got back to us and we have been intimate friends with them for ages .
Third cple was more of a situation where the wife socialised with the fem through after work functions and after a few drinks topic got around to joking about swinging and the other fem guessed the mrs ha seen more of her lol .
None of it was a issue , embarrassment nothing more than when you meet a cple for first time and we played with her and her hubby down the line , I think you should judge it will she be embarrassed and hate it or embarrassed but find it a turn on depends how well you know her , if not comfortable say nothing .We love meeting folks we associate with admit had more contacts from guys we know but being on a few sites its impossible not to see folks you know if you put in your town or county . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the fact they sent face photos suggests to me that she wouldn't be too embarrassed if you spoke to her. Personally I'd prefer it if a friend of mine told me he/she was on here and found our profile or we messages them. End of the day you're both on here for the same reason. |
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By *ea_CoffeeCouple
over a year ago
Near Kettering |
Seems to me that by saying in your last message that you know her in the real world but not replying to her since could leave her feeling vunerable and unsure of your intentions.
Your best friends so just tell her the truth. Your here for the same thing even if not necessarily with each other.
Don't leave her worrying about who knows
Thats my thoughts anyway lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Similar (ish) situation for me:
I've found a profile here and some of the information on it ties up with a female colleague of mine. (Not my boss) Of course, the information could tie up with loads of other unknown people, or could even be false, but got me thinking.
No idea how to play this one. If I thought she'd be up for fun then it could be an opportunity. But if she wasn't, and then knew who I was, could be s touch more than embarrassing!
Dave |
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Curious of the outcome here.
I found my auntie on here then found out she started going to the same clubs as me. I stopped going as i was frightened of bumping into her. Esp as she was my favourite auntie too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Seems to me that by saying in your last message that you know her in the real world but not replying to her since could leave her feeling vunerable and unsure of your intentions.
Your best friends so just tell her the truth. Your here for the same thing even if not necessarily with each other.
Don't leave her worrying about who knows
Thats my thoughts anyway lol."
And you are spot on. I thought after that comment I perhaps scared and worried her. I know if someone said it to me I would end up worrying. However she hasn't blocked me, she is still on and has.met two people since so obviously not too bothered. However I am pretty sure our paths will eventually cross on fab. |
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By *not69Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
If you bump into her at a party and she realises that she sent you a face pic, I think she will be more annoyed that you kept it a secret seeing as you already know her secret. I think you need to choose the moment and words carefully, but I think you need to be honest with her. |
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"Ok.i have not brought this up to her. However she.messaged.me the following week to ask if I would come to their small party and I made an excuse. Then a few days later asked again and my reply was "I would feel awkward as I think we know each other in the real world". She replied saying "what do you mean, the real world?" I didn't reply so it has been left hanging. I have chosen not to bring it up but I know our paths may well cross at a party or club. I am still debating whether or not to speak to her about it however."
I would tell her. Use her name and say:
"We are friends from work. I have no problem with this and am personally pleased to see you are on here.
However, I have said nothing because I am worried it would make you feel uncomfortable when we next go for a drink.
If that is the case...please feel free to block me and I will never mention it.
However, if it is not an issue, I look forward to a chat over our next bottle of Prosecco."
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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago
Manchester Area |
"I was part of a swinging couple and became aware of a couple of members of staff that were not only on this site but had contacted my other half at the time. I was quite open and unashamed and able to chat with them even though I was their manager. I was much older and I think they were more embarrassed than I was. However It wouldn't have been wise to have taken it any further and leave my self open to a conflict of interest in the workplace."
were they snipers too??????
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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago
Manchester Area |
"Ok.i have not brought this up to her. However she.messaged.me the following week to ask if I would come to their small party and I made an excuse. Then a few days later asked again and my reply was "I would feel awkward as I think we know each other in the real world". She replied saying "what do you mean, the real world?" I didn't reply so it has been left hanging. I have chosen not to bring it up but I know our paths may well cross at a party or club. I am still debating whether or not to speak to her about it however.
I would tell her. Use her name and say:
"We are friends from work. I have no problem with this and am personally pleased to see you are on here.
However, I have said nothing because I am worried it would make you feel uncomfortable when we next go for a drink.
If that is the case...please feel free to block me and I will never mention it.
However, if it is not an issue, I look forward to a chat over our next bottle of Prosecco."
"
Best answer yet .. |
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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago
Manchester Area |
Gay chap lived upstairs ..used to think he was sexy fella ..but he was in a relationahip...he moved out ..few months later his pic pinged up on here ...I swnt face pic as he had one on show ..said hi ..turns out he fancied me all this time...i did suggest he go to specsavers |
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"
I would tell her. Use her name and say:
"We are friends from work. I have no problem with this and am personally pleased to see you are on here.
However, I have said nothing because I am worried it would make you feel uncomfortable when we next go for a drink.
If that is the case...please feel free to block me and I will never mention it.
However, if it is not an issue, I look forward to a chat over our next bottle of Prosecco."
Best answer yet .."
Why thankyou |
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