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Intellectually curious
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This is an extract from another site but i thought it was a really good articulation of what can be the biggest challenge in a blossoming relationship.
The context was actually about what the writer perceived as the biggest barrier to cross cultural relationships (i.e. some cultures encourage women to be intellectually curious and others don't). But personally I've experienced the same thing in the UK with a girl who was very adorable but ultimately raised in a family with zero intellectual curiosity. When the conversation dried up, the relationship did too.
Here's the extract:
A conversation with an intellectually curious person may go something like this:
A: Hi, What is your name?
B: My name is Simon.
A: Ok, Where are you working?
B: I’m working in Thailand now.
A: Wow, what is living in Thailand like?
B: It is very interesting, the weather, the culture and food.
A: Tell me more about the Thai culture.
B: Sure I would love to (conversation continues about Thai culture).
A typical conversation with someone who is not may go something like this,
A: Hi, What is your name?
B: My name is Simon?
A: Where are you working?
B: I’m working on the moon right now.
A: Hmm, what is your hobby?
B: My hobby is curing cancer; I just made an incredible new breakthrough.
A: I see, what is your favourite food?
B: Err, my favourite food is human flesh, have you tried?
A: No, Do you like foreign movies (conversation continues in random abstract direction)
Note that intellectual curiosity is not the same as intelligence. I wondered how many other people have been in promising relationships that died a death for this reason? |
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I had one die because her spelling and use of the English language was so atrocious it took me several weeks of daily messaging to make sense of a sentence.
And she was English born and bread!
Nice girl, bit dim. |
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"I don't really understand the question really. "
An intellectually curious person is always seeking to learn and understand from the past. Someone who is not lives for the here and now considering the past largely irrelevant and the future subject to some version of fate. The suggestion is that a relationship can't really function when one person is intellectually curious but the other isn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its an interesting point... Ive known many people who are objectively 'nice' but can't seem to hold an in depth conversation about anything complex or abstract. As much as I may find them physically attractive I struggle to actually BE attracted to them if its that hard to converse  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although I will note that often this can just be difficult to express online - for example, my hatred of texting (or doing any serious typing on my phone) leads me to avoid deep discussions and debates I would have thoroughly enjoyed in person.  |
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"I've only dated a few guys, but they've all been intellectually curious. That probably has a lot to do with where I've met each of my partners. "
I'd venture that it's probably the most critical thing that makes you two so happy together? |
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"Its an interesting point... Ive known many people who are objectively 'nice' but can't seem to hold an in depth conversation about anything complex or abstract. As much as I may find them physically attractive I struggle to actually BE attracted to them if its that hard to converse "
Exactly what the original article was about. The women were gorgeous, very affectionate and loving. But ultimately the guy needed to either have a regular social group that didn't include her (to get some mental stimulation) or end it. He chose the latter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was meeting a guy regularly,nice enough but not intellectually curious, had really great sex....until he told me he'd "only ever readened 2 books before"
In that instant, all attraction gone  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've only dated a few guys, but they've all been intellectually curious. That probably has a lot to do with where I've met each of my partners.
I'd venture that it's probably the most critical thing that makes you two so happy together? "
You'd probably be right.
I don't think I could get very close to someone who didn't have this level of curiosity - either romantically or as friends. |
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"I had one die because her spelling and use of the English language was so atrocious it took me several weeks of daily messaging to make sense of a sentence.
And she was English born and bread!
Nice girl, bit dim."
Never a good idea to date someone who is bread. Was the sex crumby or did it all just go stale after a few days? |
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"I had one die because her spelling and use of the English language was so atrocious it took me several weeks of daily messaging to make sense of a sentence.
And she was English born and bread!
Nice girl, bit dim."
I hate to mention it but it's born and bred, not bread.....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't really understand the question really.
An intellectually curious person is always seeking to learn and understand from the past. Someone who is not lives for the here and now considering the past largely irrelevant and the future subject to some version of fate. The suggestion is that a relationship can't really function when one person is intellectually curious but the other isn't. "
So unless you're interested in the past you're boring and no one will want a relationship with you? |
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"I was meeting a guy regularly,nice enough but not intellectually curious, had really great sex....until he told me he'd "only ever readened 2 books before"
In that instant, all attraction gone "
That did make me laugh but i do want to stress it's not the same as low intelligence. It's more someone who fails to see the relevance in exploring things in depth or applying lessons from the past to their future choices. Imagine if you live in the here and now and consider everything in the future to be beyond your control, what would be the point in over thinking it? Better to be conscious of the present and react to whatever you find in future... |
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"I don't really understand the question really.
An intellectually curious person is always seeking to learn and understand from the past. Someone who is not lives for the here and now considering the past largely irrelevant and the future subject to some version of fate. The suggestion is that a relationship can't really function when one person is intellectually curious but the other isn't.
So unless you're interested in the past you're boring and no one will want a relationship with you?"
No, two people who aren't intellectually curious will be perfectly happy together. All other things being equal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is an extract from another site but i thought it was a really good articulation of what can be the biggest challenge in a blossoming relationship.
The context was actually about what the writer perceived as the biggest barrier to cross cultural relationships (i.e. some cultures encourage women to be intellectually curious and others don't). But personally I've experienced the same thing in the UK with a girl who was very adorable but ultimately raised in a family with zero intellectual curiosity. When the conversation dried up, the relationship did too.
Here's the extract:
A conversation with an intellectually curious person may go something like this:
A: Hi, What is your name?
B: My name is Simon.
A: Ok, Where are you working?
B: I’m working in Thailand now.
A: Wow, what is living in Thailand like?
B: It is very interesting, the weather, the culture and food.
A: Tell me more about the Thai culture.
B: Sure I would love to (conversation continues about Thai culture).
A typical conversation with someone who is not may go something like this,
A: Hi, What is your name?
B: My name is Simon?
A: Where are you working?
B: I’m working on the moon right now.
A: Hmm, what is your hobby?
B: My hobby is curing cancer; I just made an incredible new breakthrough.
A: I see, what is your favourite food?
B: Err, my favourite food is human flesh, have you tried?
A: No, Do you like foreign movies (conversation continues in random abstract direction)
Note that intellectual curiosity is not the same as intelligence. I wondered how many other people have been in promising relationships that died a death for this reason? "
Omg! Your last paragraph. My marriage  haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was meeting a guy regularly,nice enough but not intellectually curious, had really great sex....until he told me he'd "only ever readened 2 books before"
In that instant, all attraction gone
That did make me laugh but i do want to stress it's not the same as low intelligence. It's more someone who fails to see the relevance in exploring things in depth or applying lessons from the past to their future choices. Imagine if you live in the here and now and consider everything in the future to be beyond your control, what would be the point in over thinking it? Better to be conscious of the present and react to whatever you find in future... "
Yes I quite agree, it was more the fact it was only 2 books? I think the mispronunciation was an accident but the statement did show me his curiosity level about the world around him. |
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"This is an extract from another site but i thought it was a really good articulation of what can be the biggest challenge in a blossoming relationship.
The context was actually about what the writer perceived as the biggest barrier to cross cultural relationships (i.e. some cultures encourage women to be intellectually curious and others don't). But personally I've experienced the same thing in the UK with a girl who was very adorable but ultimately raised in a family with zero intellectual curiosity. When the conversation dried up, the relationship did too.
Here's the extract:
A conversation with an intellectually curious person may go something like this:
A: Hi, What is your name?
B: My name is Simon.
A: Ok, Where are you working?
B: I’m working in Thailand now.
A: Wow, what is living in Thailand like?
B: It is very interesting, the weather, the culture and food.
A: Tell me more about the Thai culture.
B: Sure I would love to (conversation continues about Thai culture).
A typical conversation with someone who is not may go something like this,
A: Hi, What is your name?
B: My name is Simon?
A: Where are you working?
B: I’m working on the moon right now.
A: Hmm, what is your hobby?
B: My hobby is curing cancer; I just made an incredible new breakthrough.
A: I see, what is your favourite food?
B: Err, my favourite food is human flesh, have you tried?
A: No, Do you like foreign movies (conversation continues in random abstract direction)
Note that intellectual curiosity is not the same as intelligence. I wondered how many other people have been in promising relationships that died a death for this reason?
Omg! Your last paragraph. My marriage haha "
Not a current one hopefully? |
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"I was meeting a guy regularly,nice enough but not intellectually curious, had really great sex....until he told me he'd "only ever readened 2 books before"
In that instant, all attraction gone
That did make me laugh but i do want to stress it's not the same as low intelligence. It's more someone who fails to see the relevance in exploring things in depth or applying lessons from the past to their future choices. Imagine if you live in the here and now and consider everything in the future to be beyond your control, what would be the point in over thinking it? Better to be conscious of the present and react to whatever you find in future...
Yes I quite agree, it was more the fact it was only 2 books? I think the mispronunciation was an accident but the statement did show me his curiosity level about the world around him."
There's probably a strong correlation in there  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is an extract from another site but i thought it was a really good articulation of what can be the biggest challenge in a blossoming relationship.
The context was actually about what the writer perceived as the biggest barrier to cross cultural relationships (i.e. some cultures encourage women to be intellectually curious and others don't). But personally I've experienced the same thing in the UK with a girl who was very adorable but ultimately raised in a family with zero intellectual curiosity. When the conversation dried up, the relationship did too.
Here's the extract:
A conversation with an intellectually curious person may go something like this:
A: Hi, What is your name?
B: My name is Simon.
A: Ok, Where are you working?
B: I’m working in Thailand now.
A: Wow, what is living in Thailand like?
B: It is very interesting, the weather, the culture and food.
A: Tell me more about the Thai culture.
B: Sure I would love to (conversation continues about Thai culture).
A typical conversation with someone who is not may go something like this,
A: Hi, What is your name?
B: My name is Simon?
A: Where are you working?
B: I’m working on the moon right now.
A: Hmm, what is your hobby?
B: My hobby is curing cancer; I just made an incredible new breakthrough.
A: I see, what is your favourite food?
B: Err, my favourite food is human flesh, have you tried?
A: No, Do you like foreign movies (conversation continues in random abstract direction)
Note that intellectual curiosity is not the same as intelligence. I wondered how many other people have been in promising relationships that died a death for this reason?
Omg! Your last paragraph. My marriage haha
Not a current one hopefully? "
Ha no! I'm dead against cheaters so wouldn't do the same. I got rid well before Fab came into my life |
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"This is an extract from another site but i thought it was a really good articulation of what can be the biggest challenge in a blossoming relationship.
The context was actually about what the writer perceived as the biggest barrier to cross cultural relationships (i.e. some cultures encourage women to be intellectually curious and others don't). But personally I've experienced the same thing in the UK with a girl who was very adorable but ultimately raised in a family with zero intellectual curiosity. When the conversation dried up, the relationship did too.
Here's the extract:
A conversation with an intellectually curious person may go something like this:
A: Hi, What is your name?
B: My name is Simon.
A: Ok, Where are you working?
B: I’m working in Thailand now.
A: Wow, what is living in Thailand like?
B: It is very interesting, the weather, the culture and food.
A: Tell me more about the Thai culture.
B: Sure I would love to (conversation continues about Thai culture).
A typical conversation with someone who is not may go something like this,
A: Hi, What is your name?
B: My name is Simon?
A: Where are you working?
B: I’m working on the moon right now.
A: Hmm, what is your hobby?
B: My hobby is curing cancer; I just made an incredible new breakthrough.
A: I see, what is your favourite food?
B: Err, my favourite food is human flesh, have you tried?
A: No, Do you like foreign movies (conversation continues in random abstract direction)
Note that intellectual curiosity is not the same as intelligence. I wondered how many other people have been in promising relationships that died a death for this reason?
Omg! Your last paragraph. My marriage haha
Not a current one hopefully?
Ha no! I'm dead against cheaters so wouldn't do the same. I got rid well before Fab came into my life "
It's easy to sleep walk into that kind of relationship, in the early days you don't know anything about each other so you naturally have a lot of conversational avenues. I think it's more a problem for men because a woman will quickly ditch a guy who loses his appeal whilst a guy is more likely to think with his dick. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is an extract from another site but i thought it was a really good articulation of what can be the biggest challenge in a blossoming relationship.
The context was actually about what the writer perceived as the biggest barrier to cross cultural relationships (i.e. some cultures encourage women to be intellectually curious and others don't). But personally I've experienced the same thing in the UK with a girl who was very adorable but ultimately raised in a family with zero intellectual curiosity. When the conversation dried up, the relationship did too.
Here's the extract:
A conversation with an intellectually curious person may go something like this:
A: Hi, What is your name?
B: My name is Simon.
A: Ok, Where are you working?
B: I’m working in Thailand now.
A: Wow, what is living in Thailand like?
B: It is very interesting, the weather, the culture and food.
A: Tell me more about the Thai culture.
B: Sure I would love to (conversation continues about Thai culture).
A typical conversation with someone who is not may go something like this,
A: Hi, What is your name?
B: My name is Simon?
A: Where are you working?
B: I’m working on the moon right now.
A: Hmm, what is your hobby?
B: My hobby is curing cancer; I just made an incredible new breakthrough.
A: I see, what is your favourite food?
B: Err, my favourite food is human flesh, have you tried?
A: No, Do you like foreign movies (conversation continues in random abstract direction)
Note that intellectual curiosity is not the same as intelligence. I wondered how many other people have been in promising relationships that died a death for this reason?
Omg! Your last paragraph. My marriage haha
Not a current one hopefully?
Ha no! I'm dead against cheaters so wouldn't do the same. I got rid well before Fab came into my life
It's easy to sleep walk into that kind of relationship, in the early days you don't know anything about each other so you naturally have a lot of conversational avenues. I think it's more a problem for men because a woman will quickly ditch a guy who loses his appeal whilst a guy is more likely to think with his dick. "
Yes, I was only 18 and didn't have a clue! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love nothing more than trying to understand someone and if i do not understand what their job title is or what they are explaining i delve deeper. I dont just brush to the side their reply I am interested in people i meet. |
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"I love nothing more than trying to understand someone and if i do not understand what their job title is or what they are explaining i delve deeper. I dont just brush to the side their reply I am interested in people i meet."
Bet you know women who are the opposite though? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had one die because her spelling and use of the English language was so atrocious it took me several weeks of daily messaging to make sense of a sentence.
And she was English born and bread!
Nice girl, bit dim."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Although I will note that often this can just be difficult to express online - for example, my hatred of texting (or doing any serious typing on my phone) leads me to avoid deep discussions and debates I would have thoroughly enjoyed in person. "
This, I hate texting because it takes so much longer! |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"Although I will note that often this can just be difficult to express online - for example, my hatred of texting (or doing any serious typing on my phone) leads me to avoid deep discussions and debates I would have thoroughly enjoyed in person.
This, I hate texting because it takes so much longer!"
only if the person isn't giving you their time.
i've dated guys, even had a LDR so that was maninly texting, and conversation flows fast with them. because they were focusing on chatting with me and me with them.
not sure what is meant by intellectually curious? i'm nosey and some guys, who i enjoy chatting to, it's easy to ask them anything and get banter flowing and great chats. others not so much and i lose interest in those guys, i feel like i'm making all the effort and they aren't socially interesting or making an effort themselves. i don't want to be the one making any effort only, and chatting shouldn't be an effort anyway, imo.
it's hard if someone is telling you about something you do not understand though. like car mechanics, i'd want to learn and have an interest if it was important to them but the reality would be my brain would be tuning out and wondering off anywhere else. |
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"Although I will note that often this can just be difficult to express online - for example, my hatred of texting (or doing any serious typing on my phone) leads me to avoid deep discussions and debates I would have thoroughly enjoyed in person.
This, I hate texting because it takes so much longer!
only if the person isn't giving you their time.
i've dated guys, even had a LDR so that was maninly texting, and conversation flows fast with them. because they were focusing on chatting with me and me with them.
not sure what is meant by intellectually curious? i'm nosey and some guys, who i enjoy chatting to, it's easy to ask them anything and get banter flowing and great chats. others not so much and i lose interest in those guys, i feel like i'm making all the effort and they aren't socially interesting or making an effort themselves. i don't want to be the one making any effort only, and chatting shouldn't be an effort anyway, imo.
it's hard if someone is telling you about something you do not understand though. like car mechanics, i'd want to learn and have an interest if it was important to them but the reality would be my brain would be tuning out and wondering off anywhere else. "
You are definately intellectual curious |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"Although I will note that often this can just be difficult to express online - for example, my hatred of texting (or doing any serious typing on my phone) leads me to avoid deep discussions and debates I would have thoroughly enjoyed in person.
This, I hate texting because it takes so much longer!
only if the person isn't giving you their time.
i've dated guys, even had a LDR so that was mainly texting, and conversation flows fast with them. because they were focusing on chatting with me and me with them.
not sure what is meant by intellectually curious? i'm nosey and some guys, who i enjoy chatting to, it's easy to ask them anything and get banter flowing and great chats. others not so much and i lose interest in those guys, i feel like i'm making all the effort and they aren't socially interesting or making an effort themselves. i don't want to be the one making any effort only, and chatting shouldn't be an effort anyway, imo.
it's hard if someone is telling you about something you do not understand though. like car mechanics, i'd want to learn and have an interest if it was important to them but the reality would be my brain would be tuning out and wondering off anywhere else.
You are definately intellectual curious "
i'm a little slow on the uptake but i think i understand what it means.
it means nosey or interested? i'm like a sponge when it comes to anything that interests me so it seems to happen naturally. a lot of the time i can just talk about nothing much with people and be comfortable with that too though. |
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"Although I will note that often this can just be difficult to express online - for example, my hatred of texting (or doing any serious typing on my phone) leads me to avoid deep discussions and debates I would have thoroughly enjoyed in person.
This, I hate texting because it takes so much longer!
only if the person isn't giving you their time.
i've dated guys, even had a LDR so that was mainly texting, and conversation flows fast with them. because they were focusing on chatting with me and me with them.
not sure what is meant by intellectually curious? i'm nosey and some guys, who i enjoy chatting to, it's easy to ask them anything and get banter flowing and great chats. others not so much and i lose interest in those guys, i feel like i'm making all the effort and they aren't socially interesting or making an effort themselves. i don't want to be the one making any effort only, and chatting shouldn't be an effort anyway, imo.
it's hard if someone is telling you about something you do not understand though. like car mechanics, i'd want to learn and have an interest if it was important to them but the reality would be my brain would be tuning out and wondering off anywhere else.
You are definately intellectual curious
i'm a little slow on the uptake but i think i understand what it means.
it means nosey or interested? i'm like a sponge when it comes to anything that interests me so it seems to happen naturally. a lot of the time i can just talk about nothing much with people and be comfortable with that too though."
It's not nosey. It's more like an interested sponge. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"Although I will note that often this can just be difficult to express online - for example, my hatred of texting (or doing any serious typing on my phone) leads me to avoid deep discussions and debates I would have thoroughly enjoyed in person.
This, I hate texting because it takes so much longer!
only if the person isn't giving you their time.
i've dated guys, even had a LDR so that was mainly texting, and conversation flows fast with them. because they were focusing on chatting with me and me with them.
not sure what is meant by intellectually curious? i'm nosey and some guys, who i enjoy chatting to, it's easy to ask them anything and get banter flowing and great chats. others not so much and i lose interest in those guys, i feel like i'm making all the effort and they aren't socially interesting or making an effort themselves. i don't want to be the one making any effort only, and chatting shouldn't be an effort anyway, imo.
it's hard if someone is telling you about something you do not understand though. like car mechanics, i'd want to learn and have an interest if it was important to them but the reality would be my brain would be tuning out and wondering off anywhere else.
You are definately intellectual curious
i'm a little slow on the uptake but i think i understand what it means.
it means nosey or interested? i'm like a sponge when it comes to anything that interests me so it seems to happen naturally. a lot of the time i can just talk about nothing much with people and be comfortable with that too though.
It's not nosey. It's more like an interested sponge. "
ok, then that is me for sure.
i had an ex who was shy though and he hardly asked anything, but seeing as i was the chatty one he didn't need to. i trusted him and offered up information anyway. we very much complimented each other too, he calmed down my wild side and i brought him out of his shell.
so we complimented each other really well, we lasted over a decade and still are friends now and get on with each other. the relationship ended when things changed and i needed him to be the strong one for a change, it never happened and things went downhill from there. we wasn't ready for a dynamic change at all and didn't handle it well. |
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"
ok, then that is me for sure.
i had an ex who was shy though and he hardly asked anything, but seeing as i was the chatty one he didn't need to. i trusted him and offered up information anyway. we very much complimented each other too, he calmed down my wild side and i brought him out of his shell.
so we complimented each other really well, we lasted over a decade and still are friends now and get on with each other. the relationship ended when things changed and i needed him to be the strong one for a change, it never happened and things went downhill from there. we wasn't ready for a dynamic change at all and didn't handle it well."
Yeah that is the problem with pussies. It's much easier to tame a dick than it is to turn a pussy into the strong one. That's a reference to 'team america' for anyone confused.
I've been in trouble twice this year over incidents whereby friends invited us to dinner, we accept, then they also invite excruciatingly boring friends without telling us. As someone with the attention span of a puppy i don't shine in those situations. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"
ok, then that is me for sure.
i had an ex who was shy though and he hardly asked anything, but seeing as i was the chatty one he didn't need to. i trusted him and offered up information anyway. we very much complimented each other too, he calmed down my wild side and i brought him out of his shell.
so we complimented each other really well, we lasted over a decade and still are friends now and get on with each other. the relationship ended when things changed and i needed him to be the strong one for a change, it never happened and things went downhill from there. we wasn't ready for a dynamic change at all and didn't handle it well.
Yeah that is the problem with pussies. It's much easier to tame a dick than it is to turn a pussy into the strong one. That's a reference to 'team america' for anyone confused.
I've been in trouble twice this year over incidents whereby friends invited us to dinner, we accept, then they also invite excruciatingly boring friends without telling us. As someone with the attention span of a puppy i don't shine in those situations. "
hopefully they don't notice the blank/bored look on your face?
he could have always been the pussy, i mostly liked that. tbh we both needed someone to be the dick for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
ok, then that is me for sure.
i had an ex who was shy though and he hardly asked anything, but seeing as i was the chatty one he didn't need to. i trusted him and offered up information anyway. we very much complimented each other too, he calmed down my wild side and i brought him out of his shell.
so we complimented each other really well, we lasted over a decade and still are friends now and get on with each other. the relationship ended when things changed and i needed him to be the strong one for a change, it never happened and things went downhill from there. we wasn't ready for a dynamic change at all and didn't handle it well.
Yeah that is the problem with pussies. It's much easier to tame a dick than it is to turn a pussy into the strong one. That's a reference to 'team america' for anyone confused.
I've been in trouble twice this year over incidents whereby friends invited us to dinner, we accept, then they also invite excruciatingly boring friends without telling us. As someone with the attention span of a puppy i don't shine in those situations. "
Finding other swingers boring has got me into trouble. Also with co-workers. |
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"
ok, then that is me for sure.
i had an ex who was shy though and he hardly asked anything, but seeing as i was the chatty one he didn't need to. i trusted him and offered up information anyway. we very much complimented each other too, he calmed down my wild side and i brought him out of his shell.
so we complimented each other really well, we lasted over a decade and still are friends now and get on with each other. the relationship ended when things changed and i needed him to be the strong one for a change, it never happened and things went downhill from there. we wasn't ready for a dynamic change at all and didn't handle it well.
Yeah that is the problem with pussies. It's much easier to tame a dick than it is to turn a pussy into the strong one. That's a reference to 'team america' for anyone confused.
I've been in trouble twice this year over incidents whereby friends invited us to dinner, we accept, then they also invite excruciatingly boring friends without telling us. As someone with the attention span of a puppy i don't shine in those situations.
Finding other swingers boring has got me into trouble. Also with co-workers. "
Tell me more, tell me more? |
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"
ok, then that is me for sure.
i had an ex who was shy though and he hardly asked anything, but seeing as i was the chatty one he didn't need to. i trusted him and offered up information anyway. we very much complimented each other too, he calmed down my wild side and i brought him out of his shell.
so we complimented each other really well, we lasted over a decade and still are friends now and get on with each other. the relationship ended when things changed and i needed him to be the strong one for a change, it never happened and things went downhill from there. we wasn't ready for a dynamic change at all and didn't handle it well.
Yeah that is the problem with pussies. It's much easier to tame a dick than it is to turn a pussy into the strong one. That's a reference to 'team america' for anyone confused.
I've been in trouble twice this year over incidents whereby friends invited us to dinner, we accept, then they also invite excruciatingly boring friends without telling us. As someone with the attention span of a puppy i don't shine in those situations.
hopefully they don't notice the blank/bored look on your face?
he could have always been the pussy, i mostly liked that. tbh we both needed someone to be the dick for us."
Unfortunately, my natural impluse is to inject something controversial into the conversation and see if we can't liven things up a bit. Let's just say i succeeded  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
ok, then that is me for sure.
i had an ex who was shy though and he hardly asked anything, but seeing as i was the chatty one he didn't need to. i trusted him and offered up information anyway. we very much complimented each other too, he calmed down my wild side and i brought him out of his shell.
so we complimented each other really well, we lasted over a decade and still are friends now and get on with each other. the relationship ended when things changed and i needed him to be the strong one for a change, it never happened and things went downhill from there. we wasn't ready for a dynamic change at all and didn't handle it well.
Yeah that is the problem with pussies. It's much easier to tame a dick than it is to turn a pussy into the strong one. That's a reference to 'team america' for anyone confused.
I've been in trouble twice this year over incidents whereby friends invited us to dinner, we accept, then they also invite excruciatingly boring friends without telling us. As someone with the attention span of a puppy i don't shine in those situations.
Finding other swingers boring has got me into trouble. Also with co-workers.
Tell me more, tell me more?"
It's hard to explain. Plus I would want to derail or hijack the thread.  |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"
ok, then that is me for sure.
i had an ex who was shy though and he hardly asked anything, but seeing as i was the chatty one he didn't need to. i trusted him and offered up information anyway. we very much complimented each other too, he calmed down my wild side and i brought him out of his shell.
so we complimented each other really well, we lasted over a decade and still are friends now and get on with each other. the relationship ended when things changed and i needed him to be the strong one for a change, it never happened and things went downhill from there. we wasn't ready for a dynamic change at all and didn't handle it well.
Yeah that is the problem with pussies. It's much easier to tame a dick than it is to turn a pussy into the strong one. That's a reference to 'team america' for anyone confused.
I've been in trouble twice this year over incidents whereby friends invited us to dinner, we accept, then they also invite excruciatingly boring friends without telling us. As someone with the attention span of a puppy i don't shine in those situations.
hopefully they don't notice the blank/bored look on your face?
he could have always been the pussy, i mostly liked that. tbh we both needed someone to be the dick for us.
Unfortunately, my natural impluse is to inject something controversial into the conversation and see if we can't liven things up a bit. Let's just say i succeeded "
haha. hope i can sleep now without knowing what that was.
night, i'm so tired and best get some sleep. |
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"I had one die because her spelling and use of the English language was so atrocious it took me several weeks of daily messaging to make sense of a sentence.
And she was English born and bread!
Nice girl, bit dim.
I hate to mention it but it's born and bred, not bread..... "
The irony is simply staggering. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Although I will note that often this can just be difficult to express online - for example, my hatred of texting (or doing any serious typing on my phone) leads me to avoid deep discussions and debates I would have thoroughly enjoyed in person.
This, I hate texting because it takes so much longer!"
I totally agree. Nothing better than hearing someone and their tone. I hate texting too |
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"Although I will note that often this can just be difficult to express online - for example, my hatred of texting (or doing any serious typing on my phone) leads me to avoid deep discussions and debates I would have thoroughly enjoyed in person.
This, I hate texting because it takes so much longer!
I totally agree. Nothing better than hearing someone and their tone. I hate texting too "
Personally I'd rather write than speak on the phone but each to their own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Although I will note that often this can just be difficult to express online - for example, my hatred of texting (or doing any serious typing on my phone) leads me to avoid deep discussions and debates I would have thoroughly enjoyed in person.
This, I hate texting because it takes so much longer!
only if the person isn't giving you their time. "
I disagree. It just takes more time and effort to text, especially when the subject of the conversation is deep or nuanced. I can give my time, but it will have to be a lot more time than the same conversation face to face.
People who know me know I'd rather have a dinner with them full of conversation than a text-based chat. I get frustrated with texting and eventually I either let the conversation slide or it simply stays casual.
With my friends from the US I usually Skype with them, rather than email (same for when Marc and I were doing the long distance thing). And I think it can indicate a lack of intellectual curiosity when the reality is just a dislike of text-based conversations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Although I will note that often this can just be difficult to express online - for example, my hatred of texting (or doing any serious typing on my phone) leads me to avoid deep discussions and debates I would have thoroughly enjoyed in person.
This, I hate texting because it takes so much longer!
only if the person isn't giving you their time.
I disagree. It just takes more time and effort to text, especially when the subject of the conversation is deep or nuanced. I can give my time, but it will have to be a lot more time than the same conversation face to face.
People who know me know I'd rather have a dinner with them full of conversation than a text-based chat. I get frustrated with texting and eventually I either let the conversation slide or it simply stays casual.
With my friends from the US I usually Skype with them, rather than email (same for when Marc and I were doing the long distance thing). And I think it can indicate a lack of intellectual curiosity when the reality is just a dislike of text-based conversations."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is an extract from another site but i thought it was a really good articulation of what can be the biggest challenge in a blossoming relationship.
The context was actually about what the writer perceived as the biggest barrier to cross cultural relationships (i.e. some cultures encourage women to be intellectually curious and others don't). But personally I've experienced the same thing in the UK with a girl who was very adorable but ultimately raised in a family with zero intellectual curiosity. When the conversation dried up, the relationship did too.
Here's the extract:
A conversation with an intellectually curious person may go something like this:
A: Hi, What is your name?
B: My name is Simon.
A: Ok, Where are you working?
B: I’m working in Thailand now.
A: Wow, what is living in Thailand like?
B: It is very interesting, the weather, the culture and food.
A: Tell me more about the Thai culture.
B: Sure I would love to (conversation continues about Thai culture).
A typical conversation with someone who is not may go something like this,
A: Hi, What is your name?
B: My name is Simon?
A: Where are you working?
B: I’m working on the moon right now.
A: Hmm, what is your hobby?
B: My hobby is curing cancer; I just made an incredible new breakthrough.
A: I see, what is your favourite food?
B: Err, my favourite food is human flesh, have you tried?
A: No, Do you like foreign movies (conversation continues in random abstract direction)
Note that intellectual curiosity is not the same as intelligence. I wondered how many other people have been in promising relationships that died a death for this reason? "
ha that's far too thoughtful no two people are the same and no substitute for personality and having a great personality doesn't make you intellectual, quite often if conversation dies theirs no spark ,I personally think we are analysing everything too much keep it simple ,the happiest people in the world have very simple lives and expectations  |
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"One tendency of such people is to talk about meals a lot...
Which people? "
People that are not intellectually curious. They also talk a lot about how they are feeling that day (e.g. energy levels etc). According to the source anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My life has been incredibly boring and lacking in adventure, so I ask questions for people to talk about their interesting lives. I'm a very good listener and prompter. I especially like to hear about travels and other cultures; which means I often ask where someone was born. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One tendency of such people is to talk about meals a lot...
Which people?
People that are not intellectually curious. They also talk a lot about how they are feeling that day (e.g. energy levels etc). According to the source anyway. "
I love listening to what men can cook, and where they learnt to cook. |
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"My life has been incredibly boring and lacking in adventure, so I ask questions for people to talk about their interesting lives. I'm a very good listener and prompter. I especially like to hear about travels and other cultures; which means I often ask where someone was born. "
Other cultures is top of our conversation list. Have you seen Geert Hofstedes cultural dimensions? If not, google it - it's fascinating |
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Story on the big black cock today, the increase in university educated women has now meant there's a shortage of men on their wave length for them to marry. In response, many are freezing eggs until they can find a man that meets what they want: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40504076 |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"Story on the big black cock today, the increase in university educated women has now meant there's a shortage of men on their wave length for them to marry. In response, many are freezing eggs until they can find a man that meets what they want: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40504076"
that's good though, despite the probability of non-success, because at least women aren't feeling the pressure of their biological clock and having kids with just anyone. |
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"Story on the big black cock today, the increase in university educated women has now meant there's a shortage of men on their wave length for them to marry. In response, many are freezing eggs until they can find a man that meets what they want: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40504076
that's good though, despite the probability of non-success, because at least women aren't feeling the pressure of their biological clock and having kids with just anyone."
It's like the opening scene from the film 'Idiocracy' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The problem is, one person who identifies as intellectually curious might seem dull or pretentious to another who identifies the same.
For example, I have zero interest in literacy, arts, travel or culture... arguably the hallmarks of most people who identify as intellectuals. Yet how many of them share my intellectual passion on physics, military history, geopolitics, cosmology or other such topics. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"Story on the big black cock today, the increase in university educated women has now meant there's a shortage of men on their wave length for them to marry. In response, many are freezing eggs until they can find a man that meets what they want: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40504076
that's good though, despite the probability of non-success, because at least women aren't feeling the pressure of their biological clock and having kids with just anyone.
It's like the opening scene from the film 'Idiocracy' "
haha i love that film.
tbf it seems more that neglect of children makes them thick than having loads of them.
my youngest two i had with someone highly intelligent and they're of high academic intelligence themselves. the older two aren't stupid either, although not as academically intelligent. |
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"Story on the big black cock today, the increase in university educated women has now meant there's a shortage of men on their wave length for them to marry. In response, many are freezing eggs until they can find a man that meets what they want: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40504076
that's good though, despite the probability of non-success, because at least women aren't feeling the pressure of their biological clock and having kids with just anyone.
It's like the opening scene from the film 'Idiocracy'
haha i love that film.
tbf it seems more that neglect of children makes them thick than having loads of them.
my youngest two i had with someone highly intelligent and they're of high academic intelligence themselves. the older two aren't stupid either, although not as academically intelligent."
Yeah that's the logical flaw in that film. It's all based on genes and not upbringing, but it's not trying to be a scientific analysis |
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"The problem is, one person who identifies as intellectually curious might seem dull or pretentious to another who identifies the same.
For example, I have zero interest in literacy, arts, travel or culture... arguably the hallmarks of most people who identify as intellectuals. Yet how many of them share my intellectual passion on physics, military history, geopolitics, cosmology or other such topics."
I don't really agree.
I'm not interested in art either and it would bore the shit out me to analyse a painting with someone. But i would still be interested in how they came to love art and why they like the art they do etc. Intellectually curious people will be curious about some aspect, even if it's not the direct subject matter.
Military history - fuck yeah |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"Story on the big black cock today, the increase in university educated women has now meant there's a shortage of men on their wave length for them to marry. In response, many are freezing eggs until they can find a man that meets what they want: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40504076
that's good though, despite the probability of non-success, because at least women aren't feeling the pressure of their biological clock and having kids with just anyone.
It's like the opening scene from the film 'Idiocracy'
haha i love that film.
tbf it seems more that neglect of children makes them thick than having loads of them.
my youngest two i had with someone highly intelligent and they're of high academic intelligence themselves. the older two aren't stupid either, although not as academically intelligent.
Yeah that's the logical flaw in that film. It's all based on genes and not upbringing, but it's not trying to be a scientific analysis "
true. omg i analyse everything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had one die because her spelling and use of the English language was so atrocious it took me several weeks of daily messaging to make sense of a sentence.
And she was English born and bread!
Nice girl, bit dim."
Was the mis-spelling of "bred" deliberate irony? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My life has been incredibly boring and lacking in adventure, so I ask questions for people to talk about their interesting lives. I'm a very good listener and prompter. I especially like to hear about travels and other cultures; which means I often ask where someone was born. "
have you always lived in barking ?
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"I don't really understand the question really.
An intellectually curious person is always seeking to learn and understand from the past. Someone who is not lives for the here and now considering the past largely irrelevant and the future subject to some version of fate. The suggestion is that a relationship can't really function when one person is intellectually curious but the other isn't. "
So what if the person just isn't interested in what you're saying..that doesn't make them less intellectually curious then another. Just means what their talking about is either boring or not something the person had any interest in? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't really understand the question really.
An intellectually curious person is always seeking to learn and understand from the past. Someone who is not lives for the here and now considering the past largely irrelevant and the future subject to some version of fate. The suggestion is that a relationship can't really function when one person is intellectually curious but the other isn't. "
That is bollocks a good relationship works on other values. I know because I normally seek interesting people and I have landed on a few sociopaths along the way as well. Conversation is not what makes a relationship. I have gone out with very dim girls that have been great and very supportive partners. The key thing is meeting in the right place and time. By that I mean you both need to in the right time of your development emotionally, ie emotional age. And you both need to be in the same place emotionally. That is what tends to make relationships. Not fetishes about intellectual people that will entertain you all day long. |
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"I don't really understand the question really.
An intellectually curious person is always seeking to learn and understand from the past. Someone who is not lives for the here and now considering the past largely irrelevant and the future subject to some version of fate. The suggestion is that a relationship can't really function when one person is intellectually curious but the other isn't.
So what if the person just isn't interested in what you're saying..that doesn't make them less intellectually curious then another. Just means what their talking about is either boring or not something the person had any interest in? "
Your point doesn't really follow the example given in the OP. This is not about one specific topic or one specific conversation. People that aren't intellectually curious just aren't interested in anything than the here and now. |
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"I don't really understand the question really.
An intellectually curious person is always seeking to learn and understand from the past. Someone who is not lives for the here and now considering the past largely irrelevant and the future subject to some version of fate. The suggestion is that a relationship can't really function when one person is intellectually curious but the other isn't.
So what if the person just isn't interested in what you're saying..that doesn't make them less intellectually curious then another. Just means what their talking about is either boring or not something the person had any interest in?
Your point doesn't really follow the example given in the OP. This is not about one specific topic or one specific conversation. People that aren't intellectually curious just aren't interested in anything than the here and now. "
Why would they be if they don't find what the other is talking about interesting. Im not going to ask follow on questions to expand on a by topic that doesn't interest me. That means I'm not interested not that I'm not curious intellectually. But anywho we'll agree to disagree as to me it doesn't make sense. |
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"I don't really understand the question really.
An intellectually curious person is always seeking to learn and understand from the past. Someone who is not lives for the here and now considering the past largely irrelevant and the future subject to some version of fate. The suggestion is that a relationship can't really function when one person is intellectually curious but the other isn't.
So what if the person just isn't interested in what you're saying..that doesn't make them less intellectually curious then another. Just means what their talking about is either boring or not something the person had any interest in?
Your point doesn't really follow the example given in the OP. This is not about one specific topic or one specific conversation. People that aren't intellectually curious just aren't interested in anything than the here and now.
Why would they be if they don't find what the other is talking about interesting. Im not going to ask follow on questions to expand on a by topic that doesn't interest me. That means I'm not interested not that I'm not curious intellectually. But anywho we'll agree to disagree as to me it doesn't make sense. "
The point is that they don't find anything of substance interesting! In the example given, the person lists multiple subjects that the vast majority of people would find interesting. |
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