FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Riding on other people's coat tails?
Riding on other people's coat tails?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As in contacting peeps after reading verifications left by other people, and to mentioned who had left the verifications?
I would read verifications left by other peeps as part of my own vetting process. However, I would not dream of mentioning the names of the persons who had left the verifications, as I consider that as very poor show, like I am riding on other people's coat tails.
Again, perhaps I am being too harsh as usual!   |
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"As in contacting peeps after reading verifications left by other people, and to mentioned who had left the verifications?
I would read verifications left by other peeps as part of my own vetting process. However, I would not dream of mentioning the names of the persons who had left the verifications, as I consider that as very poor show, like I am riding on other people's coat tails.
Again, perhaps I am being too harsh as usual! "
I think perhaps you are.
I was in a specific area for work once and the friends I hoped to meet weren't available. After placing an ad (this was on another site) and trawling through replies that really weren't doing it for me, I had a look at their friends list instead and approached a guy from that. As we had a mutual friend that we'd both met already and I trusted their judgement on who they chose to add as a friend, it seemed like a good idea.
By the same token, it meant he knew he wasn't having his leg pulled by getting a message from a single female and that I was genuinely looking for a meet.
Was I riding on their coat tails? or using the swinging network I've built up over the years, to its best advantage?
Perhaps the difference is whether the coat tails belong to a friend or not?
All I know is, a good time was had |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only tell who my fellow forum chatmates are, but only if asked. I don't tell anyone who I chat to or meet, particularly if they don;t use the forums. I think its a private thing really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a couple of guys I've met in the past who seemed intent on working their way through my friends list or meeting those I have verifications from or given them to.
That to me is riding on coat-tails. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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9 outa 10 who look me up are guys,never one single message from them saying why, ok yes some are just coincidently checking out a mutual fab friend, but generally?   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have hidden mine from Day 1, so not an issue for me.
I soon learned to hide friends list and only show social verifications. xx"
.
I hide my friends list from Day 1 too.
Have not stopped me from being contacted, that's for certain! |
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"Do you mean for example, simply saying, "oh i see you've met xyz, so have i, nice people"? etc
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Something in that line, yes.
"
OMG,would someone do that ?
If anyone asked me what a playmate was like other than a non committal comment i wud refuse to answer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you mean for example, simply saying, "oh i see you've met xyz, so have i, nice people"? etc
.
Something in that line, yes.
OMG,would someone do that ?
If anyone asked me what a playmate was like other than a non committal comment i wud refuse to answer"
They do and they have, I've had females ask how good a shag is he, is his cock big, good at oral etc. and guys ask when they see I have bi friends, will he/she join us, will you ask them? |
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"Do you mean for example, simply saying, "oh i see you've met xyz, so have i, nice people"? etc
.
Something in that line, yes.
OMG,would someone do that ?
If anyone asked me what a playmate was like other than a non committal comment i wud refuse to answer
They do and they have, I've had females ask how good a shag is he, is his cock big, good at oral etc. and guys ask when they see I have bi friends, will he/she join us, will you ask them? "
Bloody hell i lead a sheltered life. Mind u i make my views on gossip and privacy v clear to everyone i know,they probably do it but not around me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have hidden mine from Day 1, so not an issue for me. "
I hid mine after someone I'd met noticed I'd met someone he was seeing. He questioned the woman who was not very complimentary. Her experience was different from mine and I thought it creepy and possessive him wanting to know about my meets.
Another said I was "too busy" for him: whatever that meant! In the end I just hid friends and verifications.
Everyone here is a stranger to me so verifications mean nothing: opinions of strangers will never be taken into account when deciding who I'm going to take into my home and bed. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Do you mean for example, simply saying, "oh i see you've met xyz, so have i, nice people"? etc
.
Something in that line, yes.
OMG,would someone do that ?
If anyone asked me what a playmate was like other than a non committal comment i wud refuse to answer"
yes they do....
i have had people i know that have said "well you met them, why won't you meet me".. and the favourite of mine "fabs will vouch for me and i see you have met him"...
anything people think will give them a leg up so to speak..... |
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As a single fem (and therefore a little more vulnerable), I prefer to meet people who have already met friends of mine, or people I've already met (if that makes sense!)... can't think how else to word it lol, but you know what I mean.
I'm going to be much more confident and feel much safer if the couple I'm about to meet have already met a friend or two of mine. I know it's not completely foolproof, but I personally think it's a little bit safer than just meeting a random couple or single guy.
I suppose you could call it riding on coat tails, but I'd rather do that and have a safe fun experience, and I think that's fairly understandable in this day and age...? And anyway, I call it networking haha x
Jess x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh bloody hell ive just deleted my post by mistake again.
Basically it was swinging is a small world, people will talk, guys will tell the woman they are talking to at the time that she is the best thing since sliced bread. I always take it with a pinch of salt as he will be telling his next playmate exactly the same thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As in contacting peeps after reading verifications left by other people, and to mentioned who had left the verifications?
I would read verifications left by other peeps as part of my own vetting process. However, I would not dream of mentioning the names of the persons who had left the verifications, as I consider that as very poor show, like I am riding on other people's coat tails.
Again, perhaps I am being too harsh as usual! "
Don't they come up automatically with the Avatar name anyhows? So no way to stop this unless you hide them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never use the verifications as a vetting process as I couldn't give give a damn whose said what about whom. My vetting process is communication myself with the person concerned. I forget to read veris to be honest but I would never have a conversation with anyone about their verifications. What counts is the here and now and not who someone played with last week. So no I don't mention names of users or anything relating to the verification |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a single fem (and therefore a little more vulnerable), I prefer to meet people who have already met friends of mine, or people I've already met (if that makes sense!)... can't think how else to word it lol, but you know what I mean.
I'm going to be much more confident and feel much safer if the couple I'm about to meet have already met a friend or two of mine. I know it's not completely foolproof, but I personally think it's a little bit safer than just meeting a random couple or single guy.
I suppose you could call it riding on coat tails, but I'd rather do that and have a safe fun experience, and I think that's fairly understandable in this day and age...? And anyway, I call it networking haha x
Jess x "
I agree that if you meet someone then their meets are not only likely to be genuine people and feel safer to meet up with, but also you will more likely have a good time etc.
from a single fems and single guys perspective it makes sense to network, and I see no difference to meeting people at parties where all are invited and so would expect those there are all more or less the same type of people as yourselves in wants desires etc.
Its not coattailing just networking like in a business sense you recommend someone and therefore if you value someones judgement then thats a first step before checking them out yourself. |
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This is another interesting topic and all the responses have been clever and well thought out. I see verifications as an introduction or advert to the scene, like pictures, of which attending socials is the best way.
Verifications for me are to show that you are genuine and not a 'time waster'. People do talk about each others sexual skill and swinging is a small scene so verifications are a public statement of what is going on privately. |
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