FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Not interested in your partner
Not interested in your partner
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi been wanting to post a few days now but didn't want to get blazed, we are new to swinging we go weekly to a club and getting well known but we're making friends but that's all it leads too, me the wife gets lots of attention but then they only want to play with me not my hubby, we end up in the couples area just playing alone,
What are we doing wrong? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're doing nothing wrong, it's a lot more difficult than people think to find a couple who match your dynamics...
Usually it happens when you're least expecting it and not always with whom you'd think...
Attending a club/socials etc is still the best way of meeting others so in the meantime have fun together
 ...
 xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi been wanting to post a few days now but didn't want to get blazed, we are new to swinging we go weekly to a club and getting well known but we're making friends but that's all it leads too, me the wife gets lots of attention but then they only want to play with me not my hubby, we end up in the couples area just playing alone,
What are we doing wrong? "
You are doing nothing wrong
Some 'couples' are really just single men using their wife/girlfriend/fuck-buddy as a bait
We were at a club over the weekend. It has a couples only room. One couple, only wanted the the women from the couples and not the men
- Mrs. J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi been wanting to post a few days now but didn't want to get blazed, we are new to swinging we go weekly to a club and getting well known but we're making friends but that's all it leads too, me the wife gets lots of attention but then they only want to play with me not my hubby, we end up in the couples area just playing alone,
What are we doing wrong? "
Not that hard to explain really. Your fit as fuck, anyone would want to play with you. NO man can match that. He shouldn't feel bad though just his luck if having a babe |
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You aren't doing anything wrong, but the chances of you being attracted to the other guy and him to you, as well as your hubby fancying the other Mrs and her wanting to play with him are pretty small.
We only used to play with other couples but I often didn't want to play with the guy, my OH and the wife were happy.
We gave up after a while and play as singles, so much easier. |
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It's not isolated just to you guys.
Most couples with a hot female would be the same I think.
Well it is in our case anyway. My wife is a hottie and gets all the attention. I get very little if any, and that's purely based on her being on the profile.
I know she's fit, I know I'm not seen as desirable.
Simple facts of life really. Women are seen as hot, to men and women, men are not so much  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I can't tell what your hubby looks like because he has absolutely no photos on your profile.
Is he fat? Ugly? Smelly? Lol. I often see one half of the couple who is beautiful and the other half not so. When I am at clubs with other half it is a couple thing and we both have to be happy. Neither of us take one for the team.
Or maybe you need to be a bit more blunt. And say would you like to play? |
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"It's not isolated just to you guys.
Most couples with a hot female would be the same I think.
Well it is in our case anyway. My wife is a hottie and gets all the attention. I get very little if any, and that's purely based on her being on the profile.
I know she's fit, I know I'm not seen as desirable.
Simple facts of life really. Women are seen as hot, to men and women, men are not so much "
I realised that when we walked into our first party and all the guys turned round and scoped P while all the women just carried on doing what they were doing. |
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How does it usually play out in the couples rooms? Does the girl-girl play just stop or do you suggest he join in? Are the friends you're making made at clubs or on Fab?
As has been said, you are a seriously attractive woman! Your partner is likely to be in your shadow in most situations as a result (not to say he's unattractive).
During your club visits, are you chatting with potential play couples before hand or are you just joining whoever is in the couples room?
Apologies for all the questions |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tbh I rarely find I am attracted to both parties in a couple...just because you think your other half is sexy as hell doesn't mean everyone will I'm afraid....had the same problem with an old fwb...I knew how amazing he was but not many were prepared to find out unfortunately....not saying this is the case but...well .. it could be  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It feels rude to be blunt, he took the pic of himself off our profile he thinks he's putting people off "
The lack of photo is not really an issue if your at clubs but for meets on here I would say it is. If I am the female half of the couple I want to know what he looks like, not necessarily face but if he is fat it's a no from me.
Blunt is not rude it's far easier to work out what everyone else wants and whether they are happy to proceed or not.
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By *ussiesCouple
over a year ago
gwent |
We too, struggled with this in the early days, and I'm sure every couple will go through it at some point. If it wasn't for my wife giving me the confidence, I would have given up years ago.
But eventually after visiting clubs on a regular basis, you get to know people, and they see you for who you are. Nowadays our friends don't bat an eyelid, because they know us, lucky me haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We sit in the couples room start playing ect then he puts me in the middle of the bed but not had anyone join in, invite to play I asked a couple if we could join them reply was no but there curtain was open, we kept ours open too (open means invite to play)
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Hi, I know that feeling, wife is a hotte and gets all the attention, while they avoid me. We never play alone we are a couple. We met couples and then never here back or the usual " we just looking for a female"
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Its happend to us a lot.
Boo gets the attention and i get pretty much ignored
We did have a meet a while ago where it felt like i was playing third wheel which really does suck
Even though i do understand most aspects of swinging i have never understood why some can be just blatently rude and ignorant, if your not happy say and move on, but to just ignore some one is just off completely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not isolated just to you guys.
Most couples with a hot female would be the same I think.
Well it is in our case anyway. My wife is a hottie and gets all the attention. I get very little if any, and that's purely based on her being on the profile.
I know she's fit, I know I'm not seen as desirable.
Simple facts of life really. Women are seen as hot, to men and women, men are not so much
I realised that when we walked into our first party and all the guys turned round and scoped P while all the women just carried on doing what they were doing. "
..you are 38, he's 56...
When you become 56 go to the same club with a younger fit stud and see the reverse reaction.
Mind you,there will always be desperate males to gloat after milfs... |
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"
Simple facts of life really. Women are seen as hot, to men and women, men are not so much
I realised that when we walked into our first party and all the guys turned round and scoped P while all the women just carried on doing what they were doing.
..you are 38, he's 56...
When you become 56 go to the same club with a younger fit stud and see the reverse reaction.
Mind you,there will always be desperate males to gloat after milfs... "
Wrong way round...It's the old guy typing.
I wasn't having a whinge, I'm a realist and didn't take long to work fab out but even in your scenario there would still be people dismissing the guy regardless of how he looked.
So every one who likes a milf is desperate? Not doing yourself any favours there  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi been wanting to post a few days now but didn't want to get blazed, we are new to swinging we go weekly to a club and getting well known but we're making friends but that's all it leads too, me the wife gets lots of attention but then they only want to play with me not my hubby, we end up in the couples area just playing alone,
What are we doing wrong?
Not that hard to explain really. Your fit as fuck, anyone would want to play with you. NO man can match that. He shouldn't feel bad though just his luck if having a babe"
If you're going to meet me then instantly no other woman on this earth is attractive to you anymore. Ok? |
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You're not doing anything wrong - its timing and who is there and who fancies who etc. Totally fluid and so many variables to consider, you'll find it tricky to come up with a definitive answer that improves things. They will improve of Rosie own accord - just be yourselves, relax, enjoy and be approachable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi been wanting to post a few days now but didn't want to get blazed, we are new to swinging we go weekly to a club and getting well known but we're making friends but that's all it leads too, me the wife gets lots of attention but then they only want to play with me not my hubby, we end up in the couples area just playing alone,
What are we doing wrong?
Not that hard to explain really. Your fit as fuck, anyone would want to play with you. NO man can match that. He shouldn't feel bad though just his luck if having a babe
If you're going to meet me then instantly no other woman on this earth is attractive to you anymore. Ok?"
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
"It feels rude to be blunt, he took the pic of himself off our profile he thinks he's putting people off "
That's not blunt. On my couples profile you will see some sexy pictures and then you would be subjected to one of me  it's just the way it is. Ladies are sexy men not.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Simple facts of life really. Women are seen as hot, to men and women, men are not so much
I realised that when we walked into our first party and all the guys turned round and scoped P while all the women just carried on doing what they were doing.
..you are 38, he's 56...
When you become 56 go to the same club with a younger fit stud and see the reverse reaction.
Mind you,there will always be desperate males to gloat after milfs...
Wrong way round...It's the old guy typing.
I wasn't having a whinge, I'm a realist and didn't take long to work fab out but even in your scenario there would still be people dismissing the guy regardless of how he looked.
So every one who likes a milf is desperate? Not doing yourself any favours there "
Lol, how did you arrive at that conclusion about how to judge others desperation? I certainly didn't say anything Like that. |
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"You're doing nothing wrong, it's a lot more difficult than people think to find a couple who match your dynamics...
Usually it happens when you're least expecting it and not always with whom you'd think...
Attending a club/socials etc is still the best way of meeting others so in the meantime have fun together
...
xx"
This.
You'll find another couple where the attraction is mutual all round. It's not as easy as done suggest.
Sometimes attraction comes from getting to know someone that you didn't initially find attractive.
In the meantime, just enjoy the atmosphere and keep doing what you're doing.
Nita |
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"Hi been wanting to post a few days now but didn't want to get blazed, we are new to swinging we go weekly to a club and getting well known but we're making friends but that's all it leads too, me the wife gets lots of attention but then they only want to play with me not my hubby, we end up in the couples area just playing alone,
What are we doing wrong? "
Unless the woman is really attracted to him you are going to struggle. May be best to suggest fucking your own partners if you click with a couple and then suggest halfway if they want to fuck you, to full swap once you've all got too aroused to think about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a difficult one, if you are just going to the same club every week maybe you are not spreading your net wide enough, the saying is, trying the same thing thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity, maybe rather than beginning to play with each other and hoping people will join you, try flirting and chatting up a couple in a non playing area, try arranging to meet people at the club via Fab making sure there is some attraction before you go, try another club? Try a private meet. Playing in an open area and getting people to play with you at best is hit & miss, if play does start it is rarely fulfilling compared to pre arrange meets with flirting, a few drinks and then play. |
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Maybe the guy is giving off a negative vibe ?
It's an odd one for sure , and I should know as I'm 20 years older than my wife , and can totally take or leave it when it comes to playing . My pleasure comes from watching my wife play , but more often than not I am involved when we meet couples or single women .
I never push it , or even make any effort at all . Infact it's fair to say I am the laziest swinger on the planet .
So maybe you're trying too hard ?
Who knows ....
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"
..you are 38, he's 56...
When you become 56 go to the same club with a younger fit stud and see the reverse reaction.
Mind you,there will always be desperate males to gloat after milfs...
Lol, how did you arrive at that conclusion about how to judge others desperation? I certainly didn't say anything Like that. "
I'm sure the sentence above that you previously typed mentions desperate men but I could be wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
..you are 38, he's 56...
When you become 56 go to the same club with a younger fit stud and see the reverse reaction.
Mind you,there will always be desperate males to gloat after milfs...
Lol, how did you arrive at that conclusion about how to judge others desperation? I certainly didn't say anything Like that.
I'm sure the sentence above that you previously typed mentions desperate men but I could be wrong "
What's wrong is your conclusion. Have a second read and if still not clear, I'll rephrase.
Best of luck ! |
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no there's normally a better looking half but there not million miles away r they?