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Physical Attraction
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I don't how important physical attraction is to people when it comes to meets off here! But I have had a number of meets over the years and I don't know if it's just me! But I've only ever been physically attracted to maybe 2 of the women I've met over the years. Most I've met where attractive but I didn't have a sexual or physical connection with. It was just sex and nothing more. I was wondering if others felt the same?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I usually meet for a social first and if I don't like the look of them I won't take it any further..
I have never taken one for the team just because they turned up either  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I don't think being a single guy on this site you have the luxury to pick and choose lol!! When you are battling with ten thousand other guys for a chance for a meet with one woman. I suppose my head is thinking you've come this far you've got to put a good show on.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think being a single guy on this site you have the luxury to pick and choose lol!! When you are battling with ten thousand other guys for a chance for a meet with one woman. I suppose my head is thinking you've come this far you've got to put a good show on. "
^ this made me giggle for some reason  I think I'm just over tired  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I usually meet for a social first and if I don't like the look of them I won't take it any further..
I have never taken one for the team just because they turned up either "
This for me too  |
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"I don't how important physical attraction is to people when it comes to meets off here! But I have had a number of meets over the years and I don't know if it's just me! But I've only ever been physically attracted to maybe 2 of the women I've met over the years. Most I've met where attractive but I didn't have a sexual or physical connection with. It was just sex and nothing more. I was wondering if others felt the same??"
Mutual attraction has got to be there, it is just masturbation sex without it.
I want passion, raw undulating desire, and you just don't get that if that spark of sexual attraction isn't there, for all involved.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think being a single guy on this site you have the luxury to pick and choose lol!!"
Shit, that's where I'm going wrong then. I stupidly believe I DO have the luxury to pick and choose who I want to play with.
Hell, if only I had the mindset to fuck anyone that messaged me |
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to a point i agree- i have played with people who I wouldn't usually fancy. BUT there was a sexual connection and respect. and if that connection usnt strong the sex has been meehhh. so I don't any more. |
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"I don't how important physical attraction is to people when it comes to meets off here! But I have had a number of meets over the years and I don't know if it's just me! But I've only ever been physically attracted to maybe 2 of the women I've met over the years. Most I've met where attractive but I didn't have a sexual or physical connection with. It was just sex and nothing more. I was wondering if others felt the same??"
1. Yes lots of people feel the same, there was a similar thread on this: m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/644043
2. You are not going to enjoy reading 70% of the posts that come after this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"to a point i agree- i have played with people who I wouldn't usually fancy. BUT there was a sexual connection and respect. and if that connection usnt strong the sex has been meehhh. so I don't any more."
Agree entirely. Have to have some attraction. Stronger the attraction, better the sex |
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Oh... GOD.
I cannot imagine having sex with someone I'm not attracted to. I've had multiple meets where I've arrived but then decided I wasn't attracted to them, and so left.
The thought that I'm only treated as an obligation because the man feels he's "got this far" and so "should" just go ahead and do it really makes me sick. *shudder*
The fact that you've only been attracted to 2 people you've met, OP, and that you have been having sex with people you're not even physically attracted to, makes me really fucking sad for you, man. Lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't how important physical attraction is to people when it comes to meets off here! But I have had a number of meets over the years and I don't know if it's just me! But I've only ever been physically attracted to maybe 2 of the women I've met over the years. Most I've met where attractive but I didn't have a sexual or physical connection with. It was just sex and nothing more. I was wondering if others felt the same??"
I would hate to think that my meets saw me as any hole in a storm. I will never ever fuck someone I dont fancy on some level. |
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"Oh... GOD.
I cannot imagine having sex with someone I'm not attracted to. I've had multiple meets where I've arrived but then decided I wasn't attracted to them, and so left.
The thought that I'm only treated as an obligation because the man feels he's "got this far" and so "should" just go ahead and do it really makes me sick. *shudder*
The fact that you've only been attracted to 2 people you've met, OP, and that you have been having sex with people you're not even physically attracted to, makes me really fucking sad for you, man. Lol
"
But men and women have different brains, different motivations. As our brains evolved there were rarely any consequences to a man fucking the Nth woman, but there were benefits in the terms of his genes being passed on. The opposite applies to women who had a reasonable risk of death from the pregnancy and would have most the responsibility to raise the child.
So whilst you might not be able to "imagine having sex with someone I'm not attracted to", if you were a man like the OP then maybe you could. |
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"I don't think being a single guy on this site you have the luxury to pick and choose lol!! When you are battling with ten thousand other guys for a chance for a meet with one woman. I suppose my head is thinking you've come this far you've got to put a good show on. "
Crumbs! Have you met many people? I hope they're not reading this  |
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"Oh... GOD.
I cannot imagine having sex with someone I'm not attracted to. I've had multiple meets where I've arrived but then decided I wasn't attracted to them, and so left.
The thought that I'm only treated as an obligation because the man feels he's "got this far" and so "should" just go ahead and do it really makes me sick. *shudder*
The fact that you've only been attracted to 2 people you've met, OP, and that you have been having sex with people you're not even physically attracted to, makes me really fucking sad for you, man. Lol
But men and women have different brains, different motivations. As our brains evolved there were rarely any consequences to a man fucking the Nth woman, but there were benefits in the terms of his genes being passed on. The opposite applies to women who had a reasonable risk of death from the pregnancy and would have most the responsibility to raise the child.
So whilst you might not be able to "imagine having sex with someone I'm not attracted to", if you were a man like the OP then maybe you could. "
So, I don't subscribe to there being huge differences between male and female brains, biologically (studies have never been conclusive in being able to prove this); I have often been described as having a very "masculine" brain. Anyway, regardless. I have the same "motivations" as most men I've met or read about etc. I have *a lot* of (what lots of people would call meaningless) casual sex. I don't have socials or need "a connection". I meet and fuck.
But I literally cannot imagine being sexually aroused by someone I'm not attracted to. And who wants to be pounding a dry vag amiright. Lol.
So I don't think OP's ability to do this is necessarily a feature of his being male. Lol. I think it's individual to him. |
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"I don't how important physical attraction is to people when it comes to meets off here! But I have had a number of meets over the years and I don't know if it's just me! But I've only ever been physically attracted to maybe 2 of the women I've met over the years. Most I've met where attractive but I didn't have a sexual or physical connection with. It was just sex and nothing more. I was wondering if others felt the same??"
I have a 'real' connection with a fair percentage of my meets! It makes for mind blowing sex! I'm a very, very lucky girl! |
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By *azz26Woman
over a year ago
wrexham |
Was in a bad place 8 or 9 years ago and did a lot of things i am ashamed of and met a lot of men I did not have an attraction to.
I was very lucky not to have been hurt or worse and much more cautious and selective now. |
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"I don't how important physical attraction is to people when it comes to meets off here! But I have had a number of meets over the years and I don't know if it's just me! But I've only ever been physically attracted to maybe 2 of the women I've met over the years. Most I've met where attractive but I didn't have a sexual or physical connection with. It was just sex and nothing more. I was wondering if others felt the same??
I have a 'real' connection with a fair percentage of my meets! It makes for mind blowing sex! I'm a very, very lucky girl! "
Oh - and id certainly only shag people I'm attracted to - though that should go without saying! Xx |
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Sometimes it's more about the situation and the mindset ... like dogging or a group fun situation in a club or a party . In these scenarios the attraction is not as important . But for a one on one meet there has to be attraction and a connection . |
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"Sometimes it's more about the situation and the mindset ... like dogging or a group fun situation in a club or a party . In these scenarios the attraction is not as important . But for a one on one meet there has to be attraction and a connection ."
Oh yeh... I definitely fuck more guys in clubs/gbs than I'd meet 1-1 with...  |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
Depends on what he means by attraction. I need to have that spark but it's purely an attraction. Once or twice I've had a strong attraction and feelings were involved and fortunately they did too and we did see each other for a while.
I certainly wouldn't take things further just for the sake of it.
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"Oh... GOD.
I cannot imagine having sex with someone I'm not attracted to. I've had multiple meets where I've arrived but then decided I wasn't attracted to them, and so left.
The thought that I'm only treated as an obligation because the man feels he's "got this far" and so "should" just go ahead and do it really makes me sick. *shudder*
The fact that you've only been attracted to 2 people you've met, OP, and that you have been having sex with people you're not even physically attracted to, makes me really fucking sad for you, man. Lol
But men and women have different brains, different motivations. As our brains evolved there were rarely any consequences to a man fucking the Nth woman, but there were benefits in the terms of his genes being passed on. The opposite applies to women who had a reasonable risk of death from the pregnancy and would have most the responsibility to raise the child.
So whilst you might not be able to "imagine having sex with someone I'm not attracted to", if you were a man like the OP then maybe you could.
So, I don't subscribe to there being huge differences between male and female brains, biologically (studies have never been conclusive in being able to prove this); I have often been described as having a very "masculine" brain. Anyway, regardless. I have the same "motivations" as most men I've met or read about etc. I have *a lot* of (what lots of people would call meaningless) casual sex. I don't have socials or need "a connection". I meet and fuck.
But I literally cannot imagine being sexually aroused by someone I'm not attracted to. And who wants to be pounding a dry vag amiright. Lol.
So I don't think OP's ability to do this is necessarily a feature of his being male. Lol. I think it's individual to him."
I do subscribe to differences at the median level, mainly due to evolutionary psychology. Evolution naturally encourages diversity, so i would agree there's no such thing as a 'male brain' that would apply to all men. Perhaps on that would represent 40% of men though. Thanks for sharing your thoughts though, interesting perspective. |
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"I do subscribe to differences at the median level, mainly due to evolutionary psychology. Evolution naturally encourages diversity, so i would agree there's no such thing as a 'male brain' that would apply to all men. Perhaps on that would represent 40% of men though. Thanks for sharing your thoughts though, interesting perspective.
I attribute gender differences to cultural reasons, is what I do.  "
What type of culture? (e.g. national, regional, religious, family, organisational) |
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"I do subscribe to differences at the median level, mainly due to evolutionary psychology. Evolution naturally encourages diversity, so i would agree there's no such thing as a 'male brain' that would apply to all men. Perhaps on that would represent 40% of men though. Thanks for sharing your thoughts though, interesting perspective.
I attribute gender differences to cultural reasons, is what I do.
What type of culture? (e.g. national, regional, religious, family, organisational) "
As in, the brains are biologically the same, but we're culturally and societally conditioned (incorporating all factors you mentioned, and more) to behave/ think differently based on our gender. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've felt more attraction to some men than others. Sexual chemistry works on different levels.
If there was no attraction I couldn't go through the motions, for the sake of it.
I don't even think I would if I hadn't had sex for years; I can go a long time without sex.
I think I've probably had sex with some men who weren't really into me, and the chemistry wasn't great as it shows in their body language.
I always give a man the chance to opt out of sex, even up to the last minute.
A half hearted fuck is wasted energy.
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"I do subscribe to differences at the median level, mainly due to evolutionary psychology. Evolution naturally encourages diversity, so i would agree there's no such thing as a 'male brain' that would apply to all men. Perhaps on that would represent 40% of men though. Thanks for sharing your thoughts though, interesting perspective.
I attribute gender differences to cultural reasons, is what I do.
What type of culture? (e.g. national, regional, religious, family, organisational)
As in, the brains are biologically the same, but we're culturally and societally conditioned (incorporating all factors you mentioned, and more) to behave/ think differently based on our gender."
Well I'd love to debate this more but i fear I'm hijacking the OPs thread. Feel free to PM if you fancy a further discussion. |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"Sometimes it's more about the situation and the mindset ... like dogging or a group fun situation in a club or a party . In these scenarios the attraction is not as important . But for a one on one meet there has to be attraction and a connection ."
Sensible post. Sometimes it's the situation. In group sessions/GBs I've had sex with men who at the time seemed attractive because of a big cock and the sexual energy in the air who I'd probably not sleep with 1:1. Even sometimes a 1:1 can happen with a less attractive person just because the timing was right (an unusually randy night or just needing some company because of a low mood). That said, I agree with most that there has to be some attraction before I'll have sex with someone. |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"I do subscribe to differences at the median level, mainly due to evolutionary psychology. Evolution naturally encourages diversity, so i would agree there's no such thing as a 'male brain' that would apply to all men. Perhaps on that would represent 40% of men though. Thanks for sharing your thoughts though, interesting perspective.
I attribute gender differences to cultural reasons, is what I do.
What type of culture? (e.g. national, regional, religious, family, organisational)
As in, the brains are biologically the same, but we're culturally and societally conditioned (incorporating all factors you mentioned, and more) to behave/ think differently based on our gender."
Brains may biologically be the same but society expects women to "put out" no matter what. Well, that's what was the norm until 50 years ago in this country and in some parts of the world that's still the norm |
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"Brains may biologically be the same but society expects women to "put out" no matter what. Well, that's what was the norm until 50 years ago in this country and in some parts of the world that's still the norm"
Yeh this is the kind of thing I mean. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there are three levels to this. 1) Having amazing chemistry. I think this is quite rare even in the vanilla world so I can imagine it's quite rare in swinging. If you're waiting for amazing sparkly chemistry be prepared to never ever swing. 2) Finding the other very good looking. This is also relatively uncommon in the vanilla world, although it's quite easy to spot at least one or two people a day who you think are very good looking. I'd say people's experiences with swingers is that they find some very good looking but find most ok looking; good looking enough to entertain some fun. 3) Being attracted to the person. This, for us, is essential. For us attraction is the whole package: looks personality humour kinkiness... probably in that order.
Oh, and, for the sakes of philosophical diversity, I don't believe the brain manufactures mind but rather harnesses it. I don't believe there is a certain neurological arrangement that results in the thought "I'd like to watch football" and another that results in "I'd like to do some knitting". So I'd expect to see little biological difference between quite radically different mindsets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've shagged guys I haven't fancied very much. Partly because I've felt really, really horny and partly because if I didn't I'd have felt that I would've prevented them from meeting someone who would've fancied them.
I'm sure the feeling has been reciprocated on occasion, too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I suppose I'm reflecting on the meets I have had! I possibly did find them attractive originally from there profile pic. But when you meet in the flesh its a different story. If you have arranged a sexual encounter which literally starts when they open the door. It wouldn't be very british of me to ask them to stop while they had my cock down the back of there throat.  But i do believe the more you sexually explore each other the better the sexual experiences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't meet guys I'm not physically attracted to and I don't play with guys if I'm not sexually attracted to them. Why would anyone? "
Exactly. Hell, I barely converse with guys I'm not sexually attracted to, never mind anything else.  |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
physical attraction isn't that important. i've fucked loads of hot guys but the better sex was with guys i didn't find that attractive physically, they were less likely to be selfish in bed and that helped.
and i didn't think they were unattractive physically either, just they weren't your stereotypically attractive men.
think i've only ever cum on the faces of guys i didn't find attractive at all, which seemed weird at the time but whatever, they did something right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't meet guys I'm not physically attracted to and I don't play with guys if I'm not sexually attracted to them. Why would anyone? "
Exactly. Hell, I barely converse with guys I'm not sexually attracted to, never mind anything else. |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
You only have to watch the behaviour of some men to know its a numbers game ie the meet in an hr or free tonight post etc seeing a picture and messaging are totally different when you actually meet (like dating sites). Thats why most women prefer a social for me thats a no brainer.
Like someone said a shag is a shag.
OP is an attractive guy so Im alittle confused why you travel the path you choose.
For me its attraction both physically and mentality that turn me on..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hhhm I couldn't agree more...there's some on here who'll shag just for masturbation sex....not my thing.... I'd rather cum on my own with my toys than meet trollops |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't how important physical attraction is to people when it comes to meets off here! But I have had a number of meets over the years and I don't know if it's just me! But I've only ever been physically attracted to maybe 2 of the women I've met over the years. Most I've met where attractive but I didn't have a sexual or physical connection with. It was just sex and nothing more. I was wondering if others felt the same??"
I won't fuck someone I'm not attracted to in some way. |
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"Sometimes it's more about the situation and the mindset ... like dogging or a group fun situation in a club or a party . In these scenarios the attraction is not as important . But for a one on one meet there has to be attraction and a connection ."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to find someone physically attractive and like their personality to fuck them. I don't however have to fancy them. Some of the best sex I've had is with men who I get on really well with and have laugh with, but don't actually fancy. But fancying someone is more of an emotional feeling for me, and that often takes time to develop.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't how important physical attraction is to people when it comes to meets off here! But I have had a number of meets over the years and I don't know if it's just me! But I've only ever been physically attracted to maybe 2 of the women I've met over the years. Most I've met where attractive but I didn't have a sexual or physical connection with. It was just sex and nothing more. I was wondering if others felt the same??"
Wouldn't even meet someone we didn't find attractive!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think being a single guy on this site you have the luxury to pick and choose lol!!
Shit, that's where I'm going wrong then. I stupidly believe I DO have the luxury to pick and choose who I want to play with.
Hell, if only I had the mindset to fuck anyone that messaged me "
....... I have picked and chosen. I have no problem in knocking someone back if they don't measure up in any way....physically or otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think being a single guy on this site you have the luxury to pick and choose lol!! When you are battling with ten thousand other guys for a chance for a meet with one woman. I suppose my head is thinking you've come this far you've got to put a good show on. "
Thats a shame.
There has to be physical attraction to me. I dont expect to find a guy who ticks every single box.. it just doesnt happen but a mutual attraction and laughs do it for me. If im laughing, im flirting and if im flirting and hes flirting then things will go further.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest some there was a genuine physical attraction from go (just wanted to rip their clothes of & fuck like rabbits lol) others it was more their personality I found more attractive either way we had fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to find someone physically attractive and like their personality to fuck them. I don't however have to fancy them. Some of the best sex I've had is with men who I get on really well with and have laugh with, but don't actually fancy. But fancying someone is more of an emotional feeling for me, and that often takes time to develop.
Mrs"
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm shallow.
If I dont find someone pleasing to my eyes they won't be getting near my vagina
Why would I have sex with someone I didn't find physically attractive? "
Because their wife was a fitty |
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"I'm shallow.
If I dont find someone pleasing to my eyes they won't be getting near my vagina
Why would I have sex with someone I didn't find physically attractive? "
Money, taking one for the team, desperation, being in prison, shortage of men, needing to repopulate the world after nuclear war. Those are the main possible reasons i can think of. |
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"I don't how important physical attraction is to people when it comes to meets off here! But I have had a number of meets over the years and I don't know if it's just me! But I've only ever been physically attracted to maybe 2 of the women I've met over the years. Most I've met where attractive but I didn't have a sexual or physical connection with. It was just sex and nothing more. I was wondering if others felt the same??"
you have sex with girls you don't find attractive? Or you don't fancy them? That's just desperate mate. Genuine question, how do you Fuck or kiss a girl you don't like?
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"I'm shallow.
If I dont find someone pleasing to my eyes they won't be getting near my vagina
Why would I have sex with someone I didn't find physically attractive?
Because their wife was a fitty "
The husband needs to be hot too  |
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"I'm shallow.
If I dont find someone pleasing to my eyes they won't be getting near my vagina
Why would I have sex with someone I didn't find physically attractive?
Money, taking one for the team, desperation, being in prison, shortage of men, needing to repopulate the world after nuclear war. Those are the main possible reasons i can think of. "
Money - no
Take one for the team - no
Shortage of men - no
Repopulate..if the world depended on it but they would have to go from behind. |
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"I'm shallow.
If I dont find someone pleasing to my eyes they won't be getting near my vagina
Why would I have sex with someone I didn't find physically attractive?
Money, taking one for the team, desperation, being in prison, shortage of men, needing to repopulate the world after nuclear war. Those are the main possible reasons i can think of.
Money - no
Take one for the team - no
Shortage of men - no
Repopulate..if the world depended on it but they would have to go from behind."
That's very community minded of you |
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OP or someone who does this, can you please enlighten me? 
