FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Unexpected extra players?
Unexpected extra players?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've just had a social with a couple cancelled because I wanted to bring a friend. They weren't happy at all and accused me of trying to sneak a fourth party into the play. I wasn't . Another fab friend tells me that this is not uncommon though and I wondered if others had experienced unexpected third, fourth or fifth parties turning up for play meets unexpectedly? Did you welcome them in, or kick them out? |
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Wouldn't have thought it would matter firca social so much. But I guess if they wanted to just meet a female and you were wanting to bring a male ?? Perhaps they'd be miffed. If your friend was a female I'd think they'd be happy with a bogof   |
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There could be a number of reasons.
If the extra was a guy, that's not the dynamic they were seeking?
If a girl, are you bringing her for ductcj courage or not taking it seriously?
They wanted to meet you having seen your pics so perhaps the extra was seen as non-discreet.
You've told them before you turned up so who knows the reason for their reaction. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wouldn't have thought it would matter firca social so much. But I guess if they wanted to just meet a female and you were wanting to bring a male ?? Perhaps they'd be miffed. If your friend was a female I'd think they'd be happy with a bogof "
Ha! It was a male. I was surprised at the strength of their objection. But I was also intrigued by my friends comment that people trying to sneak others into play is quite common. How?? How would you explain an uninvited person being there? Dress them up as a huuuge dildo? Would love to know of others experiences of this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It happened to me on a meet with a couple. They invited another couple, never told me till they were literally outside. I vet who I meet with and this 'surprise' wasn't welcome.This new couple- no interest sexually in male or female and their personalities weren't for me. I felt ambushed. |
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Sounds as though they could have over-reacted, depending on what was said. I suppose they were keen on a social and future play meet with a single lady.
Maybe some mis-match in communication when discussing him coming for the social only? Did you make it clear he was coming just for the social and no more?
There are single lady accounts, that are actually couples. They may have a partner or an fb.
The problem with those is the male half isn't on the account on you can't see pics etc
So long as it is all communicated well, and enough in advance, there should be no problems. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I've not had it happen yet but I imagine I'd be a bit pissed. If I'm meeting a single fem, that's who I want to meet. Not her and a male friend/fuckbuddy however he identifies. It changes the dynamic and isn't a wise move - I might loathe the additional person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we cancelled a social meet with a single guy while we were in Gran Canaria because 20 minutes before he was due to turn up, he asked if he could bring another single guy...
no, he couldn't, that wasn't what we had arranged or discussed for the 2 days prior to the meet. Ironically, if hed been up front from the start, we'd have probably not been averse to a MMMF but he didn't so he was told in no uncertain terms and blocked... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sounds as though they could have over-reacted, depending on what was said. I suppose they were keen on a social and future play meet with a single lady.
Maybe some mis-match in communication when discussing him coming for the social only? Did you make it clear he was coming just for the social and no more?
There are single lady accounts, that are actually couples. They may have a partner or an fb.
The problem with those is the male half isn't on the account on you can't see pics etc
So long as it is all communicated well, and enough in advance, there should be no problems."
My communication was very specific and very clear. It was a social meet, no play was discussed or agreed and my friends presence was very explicitly explained. They reacted as they did. It happened. We won't meet. My post was more to ask whether others had had experiences of uninvited players on the pitch at a sex meet. Like the poster above I don't think I would welcome that and am surprised to be told that it's not an uncommon thing to experience. |
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"Sounds as though they could have over-reacted, depending on what was said. I suppose they were keen on a social and future play meet with a single lady.
Maybe some mis-match in communication when discussing him coming for the social only? Did you make it clear he was coming just for the social and no more?
There are single lady accounts, that are actually couples. They may have a partner or an fb.
The problem with those is the male half isn't on the account on you can't see pics etc
So long as it is all communicated well, and enough in advance, there should be no problems.
My communication was very specific and very clear. It was a social meet, no play was discussed or agreed and my friends presence was very explicitly explained. They reacted as they did. It happened. We won't meet. My post was more to ask whether others had had experiences of uninvited players on the pitch at a sex meet. Like the poster above I don't think I would welcome that and am surprised to be told that it's not an uncommon thing to experience."
Seems they've over-reacted if you made it clear he was coming to the social only, and shot themselves in the foot to boot!
As far as extra people coming to play meets un-announced, I think most people would be very unhappy about it and end the meet. If it was a private meet, completely pre-arranged, it's way out of order. If it was an informal 'might see you at a club, if you're there' type thing, then that's different.
We have met a few single ladies and it has never happened. But as others have said, it does happen, but must be rare. |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I used to get a lot of messages from 'single' women who a few messages down the line, suddenly mentioned they would only meet with a fuck buddy/boyfriend in tow when that is nowhere on their profile information. I have to say it annoyed me; it felt like an attempt to get around any filters I had in place. If you've been stung a few times like that I can understand the couple's exasperation. Even if the situation is slightly different in your scenario OP on the surface it seems no different than the other coupled up single women who use their single profiles as a lure to couples meets.
I have a regular guy but I use the couples profile when I meet with him since that way people know there's two of us from the get go. They only ever cross over rarely and with people I've met before on my own, who already know me and my situation and I think it might be a dynamic we'd all enjoy since I know everyone potentially involved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've just had a social with a couple cancelled because I wanted to bring a friend. They weren't happy at all and accused me of trying to sneak a fourth party into the play. I wasn't . Another fab friend tells me that this is not uncommon though and I wondered if others had experienced unexpected third, fourth or fifth parties turning up for play meets unexpectedly? Did you welcome them in, or kick them out?"
we would have been unhappy too.
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There are loads of womens profiles on here that never mention their partner until after a meeting has been arranged. You get the 'oh my partner will be coming with me, but he only watches' message, or they just turn up no warning given. So yeah it is very common.
And people rightly get pissed off by it. Had they wanted to meet a couple then they would have made arrangements with a couple, but they didn't.
*Not suggesting this is you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are loads of womens profiles on here that never mention their partner until after a meeting has been arranged. You get the 'oh my partner will be coming with me, but he only watches' message, or they just turn up no warning given. So yeah it is very common.
And people rightly get pissed off by it. Had they wanted to meet a couple then they would have made arrangements with a couple, but they didn't.
*Not suggesting this is you."
So many couples here looking for single women and once they sniff an opportunity another man joins the fray? I'd have said "you could have told me earlier to avoid wasting my time".
It's entirely right they'd be offended!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I used to get a lot of messages from 'single' women who a few messages down the line, suddenly mentioned they would only meet with a fuck buddy/boyfriend in tow when that is nowhere on their profile information. I have to say it annoyed me; it felt like an attempt to get around any filters I had in place. If you've been stung a few times like that I can understand the couple's exasperation. Even if the situation is slightly different in your scenario OP on the surface it seems no different than the other coupled up single women who use their single profiles as a lure to couples meets.
I have a regular guy but I use the couples profile when I meet with him since that way people know there's two of us from the get go. They only ever cross over rarely and with people I've met before on my own, who already know me and my situation and I think it might be a dynamic we'd all enjoy since I know everyone potentially involved."
Thanks for that info. That would explain their strong reaction. I'm shocked to hear that people do this, which is why I didn't understand their response and was trying to find out if it was something others had experienced. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've just had a social with a couple cancelled because I wanted to bring a friend. They weren't happy at all and accused me of trying to sneak a fourth party into the play. I wasn't . Another fab friend tells me that this is not uncommon though and I wondered if others had experienced unexpected third, fourth or fifth parties turning up for play meets unexpectedly? Did you welcome them in, or kick them out?"
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Happened to me too, several times. Each of the times, I'd arranged a social with a couple, and the couple also brought a single female along too. I adore MMF and to be honest MMFF is just as good. I had no problems at all and loved the meets. Certainly didn't feel in any way threatened or put out. Long may it continue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've not had it happen yet but I imagine I'd be a bit pissed. If I'm meeting a single fem, that's who I want to meet. Not her and a male friend/fuckbuddy however he identifies. It changes the dynamic and isn't a wise move - I might loathe the additional person."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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he he, we often keep a handy bag with 2 holes to put over the mingy men that single ladies trawl up with. (Joke)
In my dreams. Finding a single lady is virtually impossible.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I was arranging a social meet with a potential play partner I'd be annoyed if they brought someone else along with them and wouldn't understand the need. I'm lucky about who I socialise with and if I'm meeting a woman I don't want to socialise with their bodyguard. I meet people casually in a public place to start with, I don't feel the need to bring back up with me and would decline meeting if someone else felt they needed to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd question the remark that this is "not uncommon". Never experienced it ourselves nor heard of anyone else having this happen to them. We would likely walk out if it happened.
We can understand if a single woman wanted a female companion to hold her hand. But we still want warning of that. If a guy was tagging along we'd assume they were a couple, regardless of whether they said they were or not, and would want to evaluate if we want to meet them on that basis |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a couples profile on here before. We were only looking for single females as I wasn't comfortable with other males.
I would feel really uneasy if a women brought another male to a meet, even if it was just a social.
As a single female I have to consider my safety even more so then a did before. If I message and plan to meet a single female then I expect no more then a single female to show up.
I would never suggest to bring anyone along to any meets unless the person/people I was meeting had asked.
I have to respect people's choices as they do mine. X |
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If you agree to meet social or play with one person it's rude to spring another guest . It's about discretion also , how would you know you can trust a person you have not talked to or discussed . If meeting a person you feel well matched to does that mean you are automatically matched to someone they bring ...no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've only skim read the thread but quite a few people seem to think they've overreacted or are unreasonable - whereas I think the opposite.
All along they've been liaising with a single female and so it's not unreasonable to expect that's who they'd meet even at a social.
To turn up with a male 'in tow' - however innocently - might look like a bit of a 'honey trap' to lure them into meeting the guy too.
And to specifically answer your question for an unexpected third (or fourth or fifth!) party to run up to a PLAY meet is a definite no-no!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I should also add that bringing a friend to a social, be they male or female, will also wreck the dynamics of the social. The whole point of a social is to determine if there's any chemistry. To do that there really needs to be some flirtation. Difficult to do that with a lemon sat next to you asking "are you done yet?"
If you want to have an initial day time cafe meet for 5 minutes just to check the person you're meeting is real, by all means bring a friend along for support. But don't bring them out to a sexy evening social or you'll stymie the whole thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've only skim read the thread but quite a few people seem to think they've overreacted or are unreasonable - whereas I think the opposite.
All along they've been liaising with a single female and so it's not unreasonable to expect that's who they'd meet even at a social.
To turn up with a male 'in tow' - however innocently - might look like a bit of a 'honey trap' to lure them into meeting the guy too.
And to specifically answer your question for an unexpected third (or fourth or fifth!) party to run up to a PLAY meet is a definite no-no!
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"he he, we often keep a handy bag with 2 holes to put over the mingy men that single ladies trawl up with. (Joke)
In my dreams. Finding a single lady is virtually impossible.
"
Bit harsh!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wouldn't have thought it would matter firca social so much. But I guess if they wanted to just meet a female and you were wanting to bring a male ?? Perhaps they'd be miffed. If your friend was a female I'd think they'd be happy with a bogof
Ha! It was a male. I was surprised at the strength of their objection. But I was also intrigued by my friends comment that people trying to sneak others into play is quite common. How?? How would you explain an uninvited person being there? Dress them up as a huuuge dildo? Would love to know of others experiences of this."
I guess if they were looking for a couple then why would they be trying to meet a single.
Lots more me and couples here than single ladies. Probably got their hopes up that they had pulled a unicorn then you drop in an extra unwanted sausage |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wouldn't have thought it would matter firca social so much. But I guess if they wanted to just meet a female and you were wanting to bring a male ?? Perhaps they'd be miffed. If your friend was a female I'd think they'd be happy with a bogof
Ha! It was a male. I was surprised at the strength of their objection. But I was also intrigued by my friends comment that people trying to sneak others into play is quite common. How?? How would you explain an uninvited person being there? Dress them up as a huuuge dildo? Would love to know of others experiences of this.
I guess if they were looking for a couple then why would they be trying to meet a single.
Lots more me and couples here than single ladies. Probably got their hopes up that they had pulled a unicorn then you drop in an extra unwanted sausage "
Pretty sure he would'nt have whacked it out in the pub and tbh if they'd met in different circumstances I'm pretty sure they would have got on like a house on fire, but hey ho.
The question was tho', have you ever had additional unexpected players on the pitch at a play meet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wouldn't have thought it would matter firca social so much. But I guess if they wanted to just meet a female and you were wanting to bring a male ?? Perhaps they'd be miffed. If your friend was a female I'd think they'd be happy with a bogof
Ha! It was a male. I was surprised at the strength of their objection. But I was also intrigued by my friends comment that people trying to sneak others into play is quite common. How?? How would you explain an uninvited person being there? Dress them up as a huuuge dildo? Would love to know of others experiences of this.
I guess if they were looking for a couple then why would they be trying to meet a single.
Lots more me and couples here than single ladies. Probably got their hopes up that they had pulled a unicorn then you drop in an extra unwanted sausage
Pretty sure he would'nt have whacked it out in the pub and tbh if they'd met in different circumstances I'm pretty sure they would have got on like a house on fire, but hey ho.
The question was tho', have you ever had additional unexpected players on the pitch at a play meet?"
Whether or not they'd have got on with him in other circumstances isn't the point. They wanted to meet you for a social not you and a dude. It changes the dynamics of even a social meet up having another person there.
I think my first meeting with my girlfriend would have been disastrous if my husband had tagged along. She'll have felt uncomfortable and we'd unlikely have seen each other again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are loads of womens profiles on here that never mention their partner until after a meeting has been arranged. You get the 'oh my partner will be coming with me, but he only watches' message, or they just turn up no warning given. So yeah it is very common.
And people rightly get pissed off by it. Had they wanted to meet a couple then they would have made arrangements with a couple, but they didn't.
*Not suggesting this is you."
I had this on my old profile a few years back. Was contacted by the f of a couple asking could I meet at hers later that day...buzzing! A few messages later she wanted to push the meet back about an hour so her "partner" could join us.
Personally I have no problem with that so I said yes...asked what time he would be there? Felt like a total idiot when I was asked to look properly at the profile.....it was an ff couple lol...... great meet tho! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks everyone. Really interesting perspectives. Still surprised to hear it's not unusual for people to shoehorn others into a play meet. Helps me understand the couples' strong reaction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks everyone. Really interesting perspectives. Still surprised to hear it's not unusual for people to shoehorn others into a play meet. Helps me understand the couples' strong reaction."
I think everyone is trying to tell you it is unusual. The couples strong reaction is better explained by the fact that it is unusual and generally considered out of order |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had similar a few months back we went to meet a couple who we had meet a few times before and as we were on our way there they told us the invited another couple over who we had meet before so we got there and had no idea who this couple were and didn't excalty get along with them well kinda ruined the night xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks everyone. Really interesting perspectives. Still surprised to hear it's not unusual for people to shoehorn others into a play meet. Helps me understand the couples' strong reaction.
I think everyone is trying to tell you it is unusual. The couples strong reaction is better explained by the fact that it is unusual and generally considered out of order "
I think you've missed the point that I was asking about play meets. I totally agree that's out of order. And several in this discussion have said that they've experienced women introducing the idea of a male partner to join in a play meet.
What I did was give 48 hrs notice of wanting to bring a friend to an initial social meet. No play planned that night. I wouldn't have been able to play and I explicitly informed them that my friend was coming to the social as a platonic friend only. No interest in being involved. That's a very different thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks everyone. Really interesting perspectives. Still surprised to hear it's not unusual for people to shoehorn others into a play meet. Helps me understand the couples' strong reaction.
I think everyone is trying to tell you it is unusual. The couples strong reaction is better explained by the fact that it is unusual and generally considered out of order
I think you've missed the point that I was asking about play meets. I totally agree that's out of order. And several in this discussion have said that they've experienced women introducing the idea of a male partner to join in a play meet.
What I did was give 48 hrs notice of wanting to bring a friend to an initial social meet. No play planned that night. I wouldn't have been able to play and I explicitly informed them that my friend was coming to the social as a platonic friend only. No interest in being involved. That's a very different thing."
No it isn't. A lot of people on this thread would've called off that social too. They may not have reacted badly to it like your couple did. But they would have called it off. Read back through the thread and that's the actual message that's coming across |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've never had any unexpected additions to a meet, play or social, and if we'd planned one and the other party started trying to involve someone else we wouldn't be best pleased. It's hard enough finding one (or two) other people you connect with without throwing the dynamics and adding someone else to the mix you haven't had a chance to get to know a bit. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"No it isn't. A lot of people on this thread would've called off that social too. They may not have reacted badly to it like your couple did. But they would have called it off. Read back through the thread and that's the actual message that's coming across "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's clearly subjective. There's a huge difference between social and play meets to me. I've met couples and singles. I'd be pretty tolerant of an additional person turning up to a social if I had some notice, some idea of who they are and they exercised discretion so that the people likely to play could talk without them. I'd have NO tolerance for additional people at a play meet. Hence my shock that people do it. |
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"No it isn't. A lot of people on this thread would've called off that social too. They may not have reacted badly to it like your couple did. But they would have called it off. Read back through the thread and that's the actual message that's coming across
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I would have called off the social as well. |
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By *r.ringMan
over a year ago
totton |
It's nearly impossible to get a meet for me. So when I was lucky enough to get a lady to meet me I was excited to say the least. I had chatted to her on the phone first several times over the days beforehand. She never said a word. I picked her up and I took her to a local hotel ( yes a nice one ) all as we had agreed. At the hotel she says she has asked another random guy to join us. Well I was at that time very pissed off. But in the interest of a nice time I said ok ( well what real choice did I have.). We found are room and started to play he called her and came to the room. I wasn't convinced but ...... we had fun. The best bit for me was he lasted about 10 mins before he came. ( o dear all done for you ? ). He soon left and we had a great afternoon in bed. So all ok in the end. But it's somthing I check now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Adding additional people to a planned meet is just rude, plain & simple, for people to spend time chatting, flirting, arranging the meet only to be told "I am bringing someone else" is just bad form x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Adding additional people to a planned meet is just rude, plain & simple, for people to spend time chatting, flirting, arranging the meet only to be told "I am bringing someone else" is just bad form x"
Well no one was 'told' anything, but I feel suitably chastised and will be sure not to suggest it again. |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
We were going to meet a few guys up in Leeds, hotel booked, plans in place, two days before the meet we get told there'll be two other couples there also and we'll be staying at there place all night. Wasn't impressed at all and that scenario isn't how we swing, the following conversations didn't go well, meet cancelled, thought they were taking the piss. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We were going to meet a few guys up in Leeds, hotel booked, plans in place, two days before the meet we get told there'll be two other couples there also and we'll be staying at there place all night. Wasn't impressed at all and that scenario isn't how we swing, the following conversations didn't go well, meet cancelled, thought they were taking the piss. "
That's a hell of a switch-up to pull on someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unless specifically talked about, I'd presume that any meet would be just between myself and whoever I was talking to. Anything else would probably piss me off, especially if it were sprung on me last minute. |
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"I've just had a social with a couple cancelled because I wanted to bring a friend. They weren't happy at all and accused me of trying to sneak a fourth party into the play. I wasn't . Another fab friend tells me that this is not uncommon though and I wondered if others had experienced unexpected third, fourth or fifth parties turning up for play meets unexpectedly? Did you welcome them in, or kick them out?"
If someone else turned up unexpectedly / without prior notice I'd walk - irrespective of whether play or social.
It means that the person I'd been chatting to cannot be taken at their word - simple as that.. |
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"I've just had a social with a couple cancelled because I wanted to bring a friend. They weren't happy at all and accused me of trying to sneak a fourth party into the play. I wasn't . Another fab friend tells me that this is not uncommon though and I wondered if others had experienced unexpected third, fourth or fifth parties turning up for play meets unexpectedly? Did you welcome them in, or kick them out?"
I can see why they would be pissed, whilst it says social I don't think you can equate a swingers social to a friends social.
One is a social occasion where yep others will come and go depending on that group. The other is a social to get to know whether you connect and would take it a step further. Suddenly with a fourth party on the scene it makes the whole thing seem like a voyeuristic endeavour for that additional person.
Even on a friends meet additional people can be unwelcome. Just imagine going on a hen do only for one of the girls to suddenly say oh Yeh I'm bringing my fella along too .
It changes the dynamic that was intended. |
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"Adding additional people to a planned meet is just rude, plain & simple, for people to spend time chatting, flirting, arranging the meet only to be told "I am bringing someone else" is just bad form x"
Exactly this , and if anyone did this to us we would have done the same as the couple did . I really can't see how anyone would see that bringing a stranger to an arranged meet , whether social or not , is acceptable . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've just had a social with a couple cancelled because I wanted to bring a friend. They weren't happy at all and accused me of trying to sneak a fourth party into the play. I wasn't . Another fab friend tells me that this is not uncommon though and I wondered if others had experienced unexpected third, fourth or fifth parties turning up for play meets unexpectedly? Did you welcome them in, or kick them out?"
You could bring as many extras as you liked! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Breaking News. Female got cancelled on - Doesn't know why.  "
It shouldnt be anything new from the "entitled single female" brigade. Hence why I prefer meeting couples (most of the time).
I remember a big thread on whether guys thought social meets were a waste of time, with many chiming in that social meets were a good way to see whether you would calibrate with a potential partner or meet. Like a date.
In the same vein, how would you like it if you arranged a date with someone on tinder and they invited their roommate?
Seriously, OP. Learn some manners. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's nearly impossible to get a meet for me. So when I was lucky enough to get a lady to meet me I was excited to say the least. I had chatted to her on the phone first several times over the days beforehand. She never said a word. I picked her up and I took her to a local hotel ( yes a nice one ) all as we had agreed. At the hotel she says she has asked another random guy to join us. Well I was at that time very pissed off. But in the interest of a nice time I said ok ( well what real choice did I have.). We found are room and started to play he called her and came to the room. I wasn't convinced but ...... we had fun. The best bit for me was he lasted about 10 mins before he came. ( o dear all done for you ? ). He soon left and we had a great afternoon in bed. So all ok in the end. But it's somthing I check now. "
Thats "all okay" to you?
The more you know... |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I get cross when someone assumes that they are OK to bring a 'friend', whether its for a social or otherwise. I've had a surprise female sprung on me several times, and it spoiled the meets for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've not had it happen yet but I imagine I'd be a bit pissed. If I'm meeting a single fem, that's who I want to meet. Not her and a male friend/fuckbuddy however he identifies. It changes the dynamic and isn't a wise move - I might loathe the additional person."
This! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have had plenty of "single women" try to half way down the line tell us they only meet with a male friend, we haven't met any of them yet, most are just fantasist guys I think, but we wouldn't not meet someone for a social because they wanted to bring a friend as long as they were clear that is all it was for.
But we would be annoyed if it then turned out the single woman wasn't single and was just using it to get us to meet them as a couple, we meet couples anyway, no need to mislead anyone.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be extremely put out if we were meeting a guy for the first time in view of having threeesome fun, and he brought along a lady friend. That would make them a couple, and we don't meet couples. The only situation where this would be ok, would be with if we were attending a club with one of our regulars and he invited other couples or ladies. But in a club it's more the merrier. For a private meet, especially a first meet, they need to focus on me.
Mrs |
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" How would you explain an uninvited person being there? Dress them up as a huuuge dildo? "
I would like to volunteer to dress up as a dildo and stand in the corner while the meet happens. Is that weird? |
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By *andkCouple
over a year ago
Wisbech |
Had it once in another site, after chatting arranged to meet for some girl on girl. She suggested we go drinking in a few bars and try and pick up strange men. I said I don't want to meet strange men to which she replied oh he won't be strange he's my boyfriend. I declined, she got nasty, then started begging even resorted to but he's got his own plane. After a few months of being on that site (gaydar girls) I realised she'd approached almost every girl on there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ive had this when ive met someone then they go off behind my back to set up meets where others get involved with me ?? why they do/try this I don't know ... I arrange my meet or hubby on our joint profile nobody else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They were well within their rights. It's not on just 'springing' that you'll be bringing someone else along. It's not showing them any discretion or respect. If people were honest and upfront on here, it would be a whole lot easier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had people say before we met that they wanted to bring a friend. I said no way and stopped all contact. It's downright rude whether for a social or a sex meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wouldn't have thought it would matter firca social so much. But I guess if they wanted to just meet a female and you were wanting to bring a male ?? Perhaps they'd be miffed. If your friend was a female I'd think they'd be happy with a bogof
Ha! It was a male. I was surprised at the strength of their objection. But I was also intrigued by my friends comment that people trying to sneak others into play is quite common. How?? How would you explain an uninvited person being there? Dress them up as a huuuge dildo? Would love to know of others experiences of this."
Why did you want to take your friend? |
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I would guess that they may have spent a lot of time trawling though all the men on here to find the right one for them (that being you). They may not have been happy with you then inviting someone who they had not personally vetted or talked to. By bringing a friend along you have taken away an aspect of the control of the play away from the couple. Basicly you changed the T&Cs on them. |
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I'd be annoyed. If we were arranging a social meet with someone I wouldn't understand the need to bring someone else along who wouldn't be playing. It would make me uncomfortable and I'd feel unable to freely discuss what we'd like to happen at that meet. We've spoken to females who are actually couples before and it's misleading.
We've never had this happen but honestly if we were chatting to someone and they asked to bring someone else along it would be a no from us too. I just don't understand the need personally. |
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We arrived for a play meet with a couple that we had met socially, when we arrived there was already another couple who we had never spoken to and everyone was very d*unk, turns out they thought we would be ok with surprise group fun.
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
It some ways it is not really much different to any vanilla situation. You arrange to meet someone who then just brings someone else along. Not good manners!
We would be annoyed if that happened to us either a purely social swinger meet or a playing meet. Now if the person contacted us in advance and said "do you mind if I bring my friend xxx" then that is different, though potentially still awkward! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It some ways it is not really much different to any vanilla situation. You arrange to meet someone who then just brings someone else along. Not good manners!
We would be annoyed if that happened to us either a purely social swinger meet or a playing meet. Now if the person contacted us in advance and said "do you mind if I bring my friend xxx" then that is different, though potentially still awkward!"
Which is exactly what happened. Two days notice and it was a request rather than a demand. TBH by now the couple concerned are a lot calmer than a lot of the people posting here. We all learn and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It some ways it is not really much different to any vanilla situation. You arrange to meet someone who then just brings someone else along. Not good manners!
We would be annoyed if that happened to us either a purely social swinger meet or a playing meet. Now if the person contacted us in advance and said "do you mind if I bring my friend xxx" then that is different, though potentially still awkward!
Which is exactly what happened. Two days notice and it was a request rather than a demand. TBH by now the couple concerned are a lot calmer than a lot of the people posting here. We all learn and move on."
Now you're moving the goalposts, I notice rude people do this a lot when they do something wrong. They just change their story when they get called out on it and think that others are wrong for not approving of their bad behavior. |
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"
Now you're moving the goalposts, I notice rude people do this a lot when they do something wrong. They just change their story when they get called out on it and think that others are wrong for not approving of their bad behavior."
What are you talking about?
The op has said ages back she realises asking for someone to come on the social was the wrong thing to do. People have explained why and some have joined in the good old witch hunt.
She hasn't moved the goal posts during the thread.
She made a mistake, accepts it and understands peoples feelings about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happened to me once, couple I planned to meet also invited a female friend along  had 1 of the best sexual experiences of my life, we all came 10times & ruined the hotel bed they even had snacks. But how very rude they invite that sexy hot blonde along to this day in furious & my penis thanks them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It some ways it is not really much different to any vanilla situation. You arrange to meet someone who then just brings someone else along. Not good manners!
We would be annoyed if that happened to us either a purely social swinger meet or a playing meet. Now if the person contacted us in advance and said "do you mind if I bring my friend xxx" then that is different, though potentially still awkward!
Which is exactly what happened. Two days notice and it was a request rather than a demand. TBH by now the couple concerned are a lot calmer than a lot of the people posting here. We all learn and move on.
Now you're moving the goalposts, I notice rude people do this a lot when they do something wrong. They just change their story when they get called out on it and think that others are wrong for not approving of their bad behavior."
I think it's time to burn another witch now. Or maybe address the actual question in the original post - have people had experiences of uninvited players turning up to a Sex meet? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Now you're moving the goalposts, I notice rude people do this a lot when they do something wrong. They just change their story when they get called out on it and think that others are wrong for not approving of their bad behavior.
What are you talking about?
The op has said ages back she realises asking for someone to come on the social was the wrong thing to do. People have explained why and some have joined in the good old witch hunt.
She hasn't moved the goal posts during the thread.
She made a mistake, accepts it and understands peoples feelings about it."
Thank you. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"It some ways it is not really much different to any vanilla situation. You arrange to meet someone who then just brings someone else along. Not good manners!
We would be annoyed if that happened to us either a purely social swinger meet or a playing meet. Now if the person contacted us in advance and said "do you mind if I bring my friend xxx" then that is different, though potentially still awkward!
Which is exactly what happened. Two days notice and it was a request rather than a demand. TBH by now the couple concerned are a lot calmer than a lot of the people posting here. We all learn and move on."
Aha then not that bad, you didn't just turn up or do it last minute.
Why did you want to bring a friend? Dutch courage? Just in case they turned out to be psychos? |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"Happened to me once, couple I planned to meet also invited a female friend along had 1 of the best sexual experiences of my life, we all came 10times & ruined the hotel bed they even had snacks. But how very rude they invite that sexy hot blonde along to this day in furious & my penis thanks them "
Totally get that was an unexpected bonus, but wonder how you would have felt if she had been ugly or if it had been another guy who you simply didn't click with?
I think people should know what to expect and if one side wants to bring someone else along then ask and arrange that in advance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Happened to me once, couple I planned to meet also invited a female friend along had 1 of the best sexual experiences of my life, we all came 10times & ruined the hotel bed they even had snacks. But how very rude they invite that sexy hot blonde along to this day in furious & my penis thanks them
Totally get that was an unexpected bonus, but wonder how you would have felt if she had been ugly or if it had been another guy who you simply didn't click with?
I think people should know what to expect and if one side wants to bring someone else along then ask and arrange that in advance."
completely agree surprises are not always welcome & was just lucky in my case  |
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