FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Single men trying to split a couple to just meet the woman
Single men trying to split a couple to just meet the woman
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just about had enough of this now.
"Do you meet alone?"
"Can we have a discrete liason without your husband knowing?"
"Will you play with me-don't bring him."
Why do they even try. It is what it is on here but if profile states couple then you are addressing a couple! |
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"Just about had enough of this now.
"Do you meet alone?"
"Can we have a discrete liason without your husband knowing?"
"Will you play with me-don't bring him."
Why do they even try. It is what it is on here but if profile states couple then you are addressing a couple!"
Best way to solve this problem... Block all single men and search yourself if you want one.
Saves getting lots of annoying messages.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just about had enough of this now.
"Do you meet alone?"
"Can we have a discrete liason without your husband knowing?"
"Will you play with me-don't bring him."
Why do they even try. It is what it is on here but if profile states couple then you are addressing a couple!"
i would rather meet the couple, not into splitting people up. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"It's sly and ruins it for genuine single males as well as puts off great couples."
no no no no no....
it makes the good ones stand out.... and if the couples want men... they should get out there and do the choosing
go out there and do the legwork rather than just waiting on a mountain comming to them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's sly and ruins it for genuine single males as well as puts off great couples.
no no no no no....
it makes the good ones stand out.... and if the couples want men... they should get out there and do the choosing
go out there and do the legwork rather than just waiting on a mountain comming to them"
We are happy to chat to single men but it gets a bit sour when they just ask me to meet them without Ste. Other than blocking single men which I know would solve it-and which I/we don't want to do-what is the option.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It seems pretty disrespectful to both of you, especially so if your husband is the one who does up reading the message. I'd suggest just blocking as you go but with the amount of messages women and couples seem to get that might get exhausting pretty fast  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've had those ones too and they always write as if it is only the woman in the couple reading their nonsense
We've just had enough of those and also those who cannot or will not read a profile
Sure that there are some nice guys on this site but there are a lot more idiots
Best thing we could think of was to block that category and write to the one or two nice men we find in our search
- Mrs. J - |
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"Just about had enough of this now.
"Do you meet alone?"
"Can we have a discrete liason without your husband knowing?"
"Will you play with me-don't bring him."
Why do they even try. It is what it is on here but if profile states couple then you are addressing a couple!"
Can honestly say I've never done this, I enjoy meeting couples, the adventures are endless, only selfish idiots who have no idea of the swinging dynamic do this.
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
We have had a few like that but very few.
Does it bother us? No.
It is simply a question for which the reply is "No, we meet as a couple".
No hassle, no fuss just a staright question and answer.
  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a single guy I have to say that sort of behaviour is what makes things so hard on here for us........
That's bang out of order and tbh if I was your husband I'd be tempted to set up a meet and turn instead of the woman.....
Couples clearly state what they want and imo that should be respected. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just about had enough of this now.
"Do you meet alone?"
"Can we have a discrete liason without your husband knowing?"
"Will you play with me-don't bring him."
Why do they even try. It is what it is on here but if profile states couple then you are addressing a couple!"
that's terrible and they should respect your wishes and what you state in your profile and always helps to have filters and just block the ones who don't respect your wishes,for us we can take or leave fab it doesn't really bother us and we have met some nice people off here also so it's swings and roundabouts *mr  |
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"Just about had enough of this now.
"Do you meet alone?"
"Can we have a discrete liason without your husband knowing?"
"Will you play with me-don't bring him."
Why do they even try. It is what it is on here but if profile states couple then you are addressing a couple!
Best way to solve this problem... Block all single men and search yourself if you want one.
Saves getting lots of annoying messages.
Nita"
Simples  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fuck that id want the hubby there. To show him how grateful I am being able to share his wife. Plus I'd want him to join in to after all it's about giving the lady a good time she won't forget and making the husband happy as well. |
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By *ex1981Man
over a year ago
right up your street , the wild Atlantic way , corby UK |
Well my opinion is most aren't true Swingers just want to get their rocks off but have an issue with more than one present.
I myself rather playing with couples my hottest meets have been with couples.
The banter and the fun of joining in our their fun.
Same men would run a mile if a single female wanted a threesome.
They most likely want to meet separately due to the anxiety of thinking they won't perform when the action is happening.
Just my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had quite a considerate fella the other day. He was asking to meet me, after I said we never play alone, profile says never play alone. He came back with 'ok I'm prepared to let yr hubby watch and can have u after me'   haha - ok pal - delete and block!
Perfect example of the single guys not into swinging but want a quick fuck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well my opinion is most aren't true Swingers just want to get their rocks off but have an issue with more than one present.
I myself rather playing with couples my hottest meets have been with couples.
The banter and the fun of joining in our their fun.
Same men would run a mile if a single female wanted a threesome.
They most likely want to meet separately due to the anxiety of thinking they won't perform when the action is happening.
Just my opinion. "
I reckon yr spot on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well my opinion is most aren't true Swingers just want to get their rocks off but have an issue with more than one present.
I myself rather playing with couples my hottest meets have been with couples.
The banter and the fun of joining in our their fun.
Same men would run a mile if a single female wanted a threesome.
They most likely want to meet separately due to the anxiety of thinking they won't perform when the action is happening.
Just my opinion.
I reckon yr spot on "
We have pills to use for stage fright haha. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well my opinion is most aren't true Swingers just want to get their rocks off but have an issue with more than one present.
I myself rather playing with couples my hottest meets have been with couples.
The banter and the fun of joining in our their fun.
Same men would run a mile if a single female wanted a threesome.
They most likely want to meet separately due to the anxiety of thinking they won't perform when the action is happening.
Just my opinion. "
What he said.
I love meeting people who are so secure, open and honest in their relationship that they have discussed bringing a third party in to realise their fantasies, being invited to share those fantasies is a privilege. I have experienced quite a few over the last 16 years and always found the biggest turn on to be the connection the couple have with each other, I am always grateful to share it with them. |
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By *AA123Couple
over a year ago
Lichfield |
We've had this with a few people not realising we can both separately read and reply to the messages on the joint account.
One guy forgot this halfway through the conversations we were having with him and got very selfish in his demands and got hinself blocked in the process. |
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A friend of ours had a arranged a mmmf meet for us as this was on G's wish list. A good evening was had by all until the "extra" male had done the business and was preparing to leave where upon he started to become quite aggressive. When G and I were in the bathroom cleaning up this individual tied to slip a piece of paper with his phone number on in G's handbag and asked our friend to mention it to her out of my earshot.
Luckily this was mentioned after he had left as it could have got really nasty.
G&A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had quite a considerate fella the other day. He was asking to meet me, after I said we never play alone, profile says never play alone. He came back with 'ok I'm prepared to let yr hubby watch and can have u after me' haha - ok pal - delete and block!
Perfect example of the single guys not into swinging but want a quick fuck! "
Lol, we've had virtually identical. That and But I prefer to meet just one of you first, get to know you and build the trust before I meet you both, I'll meet you with him next time.
Haha, yeah, right |
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I left Rios an average review once on account of all the single men in there on a couples night. Got messages by guys afterwards asking me to go with them to Rios, that they would pay the entry fee and I didn't have to stay with them if I didn't want. I was in a couple at this stage. Who would imagine that I might leave my partner on a Saturday night to get some random into a club  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Something that would be very to implement would be a chat rating system. Only able to rate the chat not the person and then a filter saying nobody with a chat rating lower than say 3 out of 5.
It would be an incentive for people to keep their chats respectful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had quite a considerate fella the other day. He was asking to meet me, after I said we never play alone, profile says never play alone. He came back with 'ok I'm prepared to let yr hubby watch and can have u after me' haha - ok pal - delete and block!
Perfect example of the single guys not into swinging but want a quick fuck!
Lol, we've had virtually identical. That and But I prefer to meet just one of you first, get to know you and build the trust before I meet you both, I'll meet you with him next time.
Haha, yeah, right "
Maybe if we start putting demand like - they need to pay for full monty date, dress and lingerie with gift, dinner, gift, drinks, gift, too notch hotel (separate rooms), gift and maybe the possibility of a kiss and a quick fumble. ha. |
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"Something that would be very to implement would be a chat rating system. Only able to rate the chat not the person and then a filter saying nobody with a chat rating lower than say 3 out of 5.
It would be an incentive for people to keep their chats respectful."
But then everyone who messaged you and didn't get a reply (and single girls can easily rack up hundreds a day) would get badly rated out of spite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Something that would be very to implement would be a chat rating system. Only able to rate the chat not the person and then a filter saying nobody with a chat rating lower than say 3 out of 5.
It would be an incentive for people to keep their chats respectful.
But then everyone who messaged you and didn't get a reply (and single girls can easily rack up hundreds a day) would get badly rated out of spite."
There are still options such as not being able to rate until there's been at least one message either way.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to get a lot of messages from gay men until I turned filters on. However since using the forum a lot I turned them off because they get in the way of normal non sexual chats.
Interestingly I have rewritten my profile and stated that I won't reply to those sorts of messages from men and have only had one since. Some people can read. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had quite a considerate fella the other day. He was asking to meet me, after I said we never play alone, profile says never play alone. He came back with 'ok I'm prepared to let yr hubby watch and can have u after me' haha - ok pal - delete and block!
Perfect example of the single guys not into swinging but want a quick fuck!
Lol, we've had virtually identical. That and But I prefer to meet just one of you first, get to know you and build the trust before I meet you both, I'll meet you with him next time.
Haha, yeah, right
Maybe if we start putting demand like - they need to pay for full monty date, dress and lingerie with gift, dinner, gift, drinks, gift, too notch hotel (separate rooms), gift and maybe the possibility of a kiss and a quick fumble. ha."
I like your thinking, wonder just how far they'd go. I suspect not very, and then there would be a thread on here about entitled demanding couples! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had one last night.
Asked if I,Grey,was asleep,even though it says on profile it's me that answers nearly all messages and forum posts,and if sweet wanted to sneak out to meet him.
Yeah like that's going to happen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had quite a considerate fella the other day. He was asking to meet me, after I said we never play alone, profile says never play alone. He came back with 'ok I'm prepared to let yr hubby watch and can have u after me' haha - ok pal - delete and block!
Perfect example of the single guys not into swinging but want a quick fuck!
Lol, we've had virtually identical. That and But I prefer to meet just one of you first, get to know you and build the trust before I meet you both, I'll meet you with him next time.
Haha, yeah, right
Maybe if we start putting demand like - they need to pay for full monty date, dress and lingerie with gift, dinner, gift, drinks, gift, too notch hotel (separate rooms), gift and maybe the possibility of a kiss and a quick fumble. ha.
I like your thinking, wonder just how far they'd go. I suspect not very, and then there would be a thread on here about entitled demanding couples! "
Dictionary -
Demanding couples:
Dil-N-Do 
If that come up trumps,
Can only be a win win for us eh! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just about had enough of this now.
"Do you meet alone?"
"Can we have a discrete liason without your husband knowing?"
"Will you play with me-don't bring him."
Why do they even try. It is what it is on here but if profile states couple then you are addressing a couple!"
Only play alone with hubby approval, if anyone too pushy instant block. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have had a few like that but very few.
Does it bother us? No.
It is simply a question for which the reply is "No, we meet as a couple".
No hassle, no fuss just a straight question and answer.
"
If it's a simple "do you play separately?" we'd be the same. But some of the examples in the op and from others are just plain rude so we'd definitely delete those messages. There are always polite ways of asking, even for very naughty things.
On a side note, it'd be nice if people on this thread realised that, for some, this is a very real and viable question that feeds into a whole array of kinks from hotwifing to cuckolding. A guy or couple shouldn't be slapped down as a monster just for asking in a polite manner. Swinging used to be all about swapping partners and going to different houses for the night. So try to bare such things in mind. This is a broad church in here and some of the issues that need navigating to find those who share a certain kink can be awkward so it's good to try and give polite others the benefit of the doubt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I've had this just recently 
Started talking to me on my singles ....then chatted to hubby on couples ...then saying things to me....Oh I hope i didn't get hubby angry.... seriously.... I shake my head...   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This really annoys me when guys just direct everything at the female half. We came off KIK due to the fact Jaz was bombarded with messages to meet alone.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have had a few like that but very few.
Does it bother us? No.
It is simply a question for which the reply is "No, we meet as a couple".
No hassle, no fuss just a straight question and answer.
If it's a simple "do you play separately?" we'd be the same. But some of the examples in the op and from others are just plain rude so we'd definitely delete those messages. There are always polite ways of asking, even for very naughty things.
On a side note, it'd be nice if people on this thread realised that, for some, this is a very real and viable question that feeds into a whole array of kinks from hotwifing to cuckolding. A guy or couple shouldn't be slapped down as a monster just for asking in a polite manner. Swinging used to be all about swapping partners and going to different houses for the night. So try to bare such things in mind. This is a broad church in here and some of the issues that need navigating to find those who share a certain kink can be awkward so it's good to try and give polite others the benefit of the doubt "
That's fine but as you say often these approaches are less than polite so it's hard to give the benefit of the doubt. We are pretty clear on our profile that guys looking for hotwifing or cuckolding meets won't be for us but still the messages come. It is a minor frustration, a simple delete and block if appropriate, but when you get so many threads on here with people moaning about not getting replies to messages maybe posts like this just might help them realise how the game works. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our profile clearly states: "Please write to both of us as we are a couple and will only ever meet as a couple; we will not make any exceptions for anyone". Yet we had single men writing as if I am the only one reading their message and offering to meet me alone. They must be out of their mind
- Mrs. J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just about had enough of this now.
"Do you meet alone?"
"Can we have a discrete liason without your husband knowing?"
"Will you play with me-don't bring him."
Why do they even try. It is what it is on here but if profile states couple then you are addressing a couple!"
Ego. Getting a woman to go behind her husband's back, it's the ultimate power trip. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just about had enough of this now.
"Do you meet alone?"
"Can we have a discrete liason without your husband knowing?"
"Will you play with me-don't bring him."
Why do they even try. It is what it is on here but if profile states couple then you are addressing a couple!
Ego. Getting a woman to go behind her husband's back, it's the ultimate power trip."
Good point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well my opinion is most aren't true Swingers just want to get their rocks off but have an issue with more than one present.
I myself rather playing with couples my hottest meets have been with couples.
The banter and the fun of joining in our their fun.
Same men would run a mile if a single female wanted a threesome.
They most likely want to meet separately due to the anxiety of thinking they won't perform when the action is happening.
Just my opinion. "
110% agree. Most aren't swingers, just chacees
King |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Block all single men and search yourselves when needed. Not all single men are bad, unfortunately, there are far to many that ruin the good reputation of others."
There a few nice ones; but the barrage of idiots was enough for us to block and search ourselves, if we want to
Then another idiot turned up telling us that it was our fault that even bigger idiots were sending us messages and that if we lowered our standards, then more 'suitable' ones will write to us. This place is sometimes a joke splattered with entitled fools
- Mrs. J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Genuine question....how can a single be a swinger?
if a 1/2 of a couple is sleeping around without the others knowledge they are not swingers!
most 'singles' on this site are attatched and playing away.
It would be so much easier if people just told the truth and would save so much time chatting to liars and cheats.
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Yes we get this all the time . As we mainly look for single guys to join us , so I've stated on profile that it's me only husband who manages the site , we only meet them at the club we use . And I do let her play alone it club with them , she has said all have asked if she plays alone , and some have even asked me would I let her , the answer to 99% is no , tho I have let her play with one guy alone who we know well and trust . He has played with her five times over the years , but we decide when and I works well for us all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This really annoys me when guys just direct everything at the female half. We came off KIK due to the fact Jaz was bombarded with messages to meet alone.
"
I've recently had the opposite. Spoken to a couple on here..... got a meet in the pipeline (next month). Most of the messages through him, although some in the thread from her...they are clearly visible to both.
Spoken to them both on the phone (his number I assumed). Also spoken on kik..initially him, but he then gave me her kik so we could also speak.
The only suggestion to play alone came from her. So far I have declined....until I have spoken face to face with both.
I don't play with just one of a couple unless already clearly agreed or stated on profile. Surely that's not how it works? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"probably coz a lot of single women have rejected them already or have single men blocked and they only want a single woman.
a lot of men don't understand swinging and think this is a fuck site."
This isn't exclusive to single men, we've been asked stuff like this by couples. If a couple gets both of our kiks and then tries chatting outside of a group chat to her, we just block them now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"probably coz a lot of single women have rejected them already or have single men blocked and they only want a single woman.
a lot of men don't understand swinging and think this is a fuck site.
This isn't exclusive to single men, we've been asked stuff like this by couples. If a couple gets both of our kiks and then tries chatting outside of a group chat to her, we just block them now. "
Yes we've experienced something like this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Threads like this are deceptive and don't help. They give off the sense that there's such a thing as a bad question and just descend into man bashing. For us it's really only about the way you ask not what you ask. "I hope you don't mind me asking but I was wondering if either of you would mind if I did a poo on your head?" is much better than "I'd let you suck my cock slut".
For impoliteness we've found the genders equally matched, with a woman at a club recently pulling us apart in order to play with Mrs, all without a word or any eye contact. Yes there are more impolite men on here. But that's only because there are more men.
We appreciate that many couples only play together and have this clearly displayed on their profile. But there is often a shock or outrage in their tone at the mere thought of playing separately, as if it was somehow immoral. It isn't. So our advice. Write what you want on your profile but don't think this entitles you to anything. If you don't want certain people contacting you to ask even polite questions just block them. Otherwise just accept anyone is free to ask you anything (it is the Internet) and delete/ignore/block the nasty mails and respond to the polite ones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Threads like this are deceptive and don't help. They give off the sense that there's such a thing as a bad question and just descend into man bashing. For us it's really only about the way you ask not what you ask. "I hope you don't mind me asking but I was wondering if either of you would mind if I did a poo on your head?" is much better than "I'd let you suck my cock slut".
For impoliteness we've found the genders equally matched, with a woman at a club recently pulling us apart in order to play with Mrs, all without a word or any eye contact. Yes there are more impolite men on here. But that's only because there are more men.
We appreciate that many couples only play together and have this clearly displayed on their profile. But there is often a shock or outrage in their tone at the mere thought of playing separately, as if it was somehow immoral. It isn't. So our advice. Write what you want on your profile but don't think this entitles you to anything. If you don't want certain people contacting you to ask even polite questions just block them. Otherwise just accept anyone is free to ask you anything (it is the Internet) and delete/ignore/block the nasty mails and respond to the polite ones. "
You had me at poo on your head. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like the occasional discreet fuck, it's certainly not difficult to find men willing to sneak around. Usually I tell hubby sometimes I don't.
I make the choices and if someone wants what I don't I move on. It's not difficult. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just about had enough of this now.
"Do you meet alone?"
"Can we have a discrete liason without your husband knowing?"
"Will you play with me-don't bring him."
Why do they even try. It is what it is on here but if profile states couple then you are addressing a couple!"
boys will be boys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Recently had similar to this with my FB and another guy. It didn't work out for him and he's probably been stuck having a lonesome wank whilst we continue to enjoy each other.
If he'd have been decent and not tried on the sly to change our friendship, we'd have invited him and blown his mind. His loss ultimately haha, when will people learn to respect other people and their wants and realise it's not all about them and their ego. Wally! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have had a few like that but very few.
Does it bother us? No.
It is simply a question for which the reply is "No, we meet as a couple".
No hassle, no fuss just a staright question and answer.
"
We agree, it's no drama |
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"We had quite a considerate fella the other day. He was asking to meet me, after I said we never play alone, profile says never play alone. He came back with 'ok I'm prepared to let yr hubby watch and can have u after me' haha - ok pal - delete and block!
Perfect example of the single guys not into swinging but want a quick fuck! "
That was generous of him lol
Bet he was surprised at you turning his kind offer down |
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Agree with this, I've met a few couples who's profiles state not looking for single guys. Block the messages and seek out your own. A simple wink or a polite message to a select few you have hand picked may be a better route to go down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"probably coz a lot of single women have rejected them already or have single men blocked and they only want a single woman.
a lot of men don't understand swinging and think this is a fuck site.
This isn't exclusive to single men, we've been asked stuff like this by couples. If a couple gets both of our kiks and then tries chatting outside of a group chat to her, we just block them now. "
yup we have had that.  |
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