 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call my dog "Sex".
Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to get his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "Id like to have one too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said I didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, Ive had Sex since I was 9 years old." He said I must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The Clerk said "Me too."
One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex entered in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand", I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on television." He called me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to file for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I got married." The judge said "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex had left me. He said, "Me too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked "What are you doing in this alley at 4 in the morning?" I said, "Im looking for Sex..."
My court date has been set for Friday...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I used to own a race horse called my face. He was a favourite at Ascot. It was great on ladies day to here all the posh totty supporting him in the race. All I could here was them shouting come on my face.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As a homage to dambusters a guy I know who trains security dogs and does a really good line in obedience training. Called his Amstaff n!ger.
coz it's a big black bastard  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
kay x