FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Fabspeak

Fabspeak

By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

What it really means, I'll start with STRAIGHT

Male-it says straight on my profile but I'll have my cock sucked/will wank a guy if I can fuck the female half

Female-it says straight on my profile but it only says this to stop me being pestered by couples/I'm actually curious but don't want to admit it

Feel free to post others!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No timewasters= we will waste your time with pointless messages but blame you when you tell us no.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"No timewasters= we will waste your time with pointless messages but blame you when you tell us no."

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

' I don't want to shag the whole site' = I might but I will be very careful to make sure no one finds out

I do but close my account regularly and start a new one so I look like I'm practically a virgin

Haha

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Genuine- not really but it looks and sounds good, however I still have no veris to prove it

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"' I don't want to shag the whole site' = I might but I will be very careful to make sure no one finds out

I do but close my account regularly and start a new one so I look like I'm practically a virgin

Haha

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

'No face pic no reply' ..... I need to see how ugly you are so please send a face pic so I don't waste my time chatting to a fit body - and although I say no face pic no reply if it's that bad I won't reply anyway

Meow

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Hung.

like the last turkey in the shop.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lib - a mysterious form of a male unicorn seldom appearing in the forums to cause havoc and disarray.

His strongest qualities are a fine jawline and witty punchlines.

Weaknesses...he knows who she is...

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Shall we do a couple's profile?-so I can use you as bait to get to other men/women (this applies to straight and bisexual both sexes!!)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'No face pic no reply' ..... I need to see how ugly you are so please send a face pic so I don't waste my time chatting to a fit body - and although I say no face pic no reply if it's that bad I won't reply anyway

Meow

I believe not only will she not reply but also block you!

Harsh realities

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By *electiveB4seductionCouple over a year ago

essex

Would you like to swap face pics = darkened photo of a sweaty cock' and a blurry stretched minge...

erm no thanks..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I hate reading go with the flow .To me that's where dead fish go .

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Not into endless messages- I'm horny as hell and want a quick fuck now, don't care who with

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

White only not racist just our preference - we are members of the KKK and completely racist

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Interests including 'bareback' and 'safe sex'?

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Cannot accommodate - I'm married/partnered , they don't know, have housemates, no way am I having strangers in my house, can't be arsed to clean up

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I/we really like your profile - haven't read it/don't intend to/just looked at the pretty pictures/just going to ask a lot of pointless questions as I'm horny and feel like bit of naughty chat

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

"Shall we do a couple's profile?-so I can use you as bait to get to other men/women (this applies to straight and bisexual both sexes!!)"

Haha I actually lol'd at that x

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Shall we do a couple's profile?-so I can use you as bait to get to other men/women (this applies to straight and bisexual both sexes!!)

Haha I actually lol'd at that x "

Happened to me twice now lol

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

will reply to everyone - 10 mins later has status up saying 'i can't cope with all these messages'.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Discreet - no one knows I'm on here and I don't want them to

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Shall we do a couple's profile?-so I can use you as bait to get to other men/women (this applies to straight and bisexual both sexes!!)

Haha I actually lol'd at that x "

I admit I've tried it

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

If I arrange a meet, I will always turn up = unless I get a better offer/chicken out. Then you won't see or hear from me ever again.

I love giving oral = I hate giving oral but the women won't meet me unless I say I do.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

Meow

I always thought that was...

I've got a face like a bag of spanners so I need to see yours to determine how repulsive you will find me.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Easy going guy, on here for the lifestyle = if you reply to my message me I will bombard you with messages until you block me in sheer terror.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

Fussy..I will fuck everyone but I don't want you all to know that

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By *dstar01Man over a year ago

Shrewsbury

been here before... couldnt keep away.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I hate reading go with the flow .To me that's where dead fish go .

glad someone else thinks that.

Status update "I'm not looking to meet at the moment" = I'm looking to meet or else I'd have never bothered posting a status update

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

"been here before... couldnt keep away..... "

That means ... use fab when having a dry spell in the vanilla world

Come off every time I get close to my gf / bf finding out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

THIS IS A LEGAL NOTICE = excuse me while I just fart some capital letters out of my arse

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I love giving oral #2 (male) - I'm going to be so shit scared when the meet happens I won't be able to get it up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If I arrange a meet, I will always turn up = unless I get a better offer/chicken out. Then you won't see or hear from me ever again.

I love giving oral = I hate giving oral but the women won't meet me unless I say I do."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have a life outside of fab = We think you are mostly sad people with no life, ours is wonderful you should see our Facebook page....

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

I've got this on my profile but I always reply

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By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

lol love how others get a laugh at these regular contradictions too.

My favourite areshole-isms

-people who repost the same pictures over and over to keep their profiles on the feed. Attention seeking knobs

-complain about people being rude to them and ranting and then being rude and ignorant themselves in response or lack of to others

-those that regularly (daily) post "meet now... or late night fun" then never ever reply.. clearly just like the attention with no intention

-those that want the world in a bag; endless specifics, no care or attention to the desires of others, it's clearly all about them. Very unattractive

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By *vetteBondTV/TS over a year ago

English Riviera

Will send a private pic - of my cock!

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

We won't arrange to meet without a face pic - send me/us one as not intending to meet just adding as wank fodder

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple over a year ago

Bristol

Fabstraight - A label given, when folk can't accept a person's sexuality (often caused by an inability to accept their own)

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

I have no face pics on here as I won't upload images to social media for security reasons = I shouldn't be on here as I'm not single and someone might recognise me .... I'm perfectly fine to have my image on OTHER social media sites just not one that proves I am cheating or intending to cheat

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Laid back easy going guy = will comletely fly off the handle if you don't reply within a nano second of reading his message!!

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By *layPrincessDaddyBearCouple over a year ago

Bracknell

not been on the site for long but thanks for the heads up with the actual meanings

what have I done

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

guy= im new to all this but would try anything once. you have 10 veris hardly new lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What it really means, I'll start with STRAIGHT

Male-it says straight on my profile but I'll have my cock sucked/will wank a guy if I can fuck the female half

Female-it says straight on my profile but it only says this to stop me being pestered by couples/I'm actually curious but don't want to admit it

Feel free to post others!

"
will not meet anyone unless they are stunning ,non smokers to top of list ,no whites no Asians no people of African origin ,no people with STDs ,nobody that expects a 2 nd date or that kisses ,no hairy people cmon,only local within 2.5 miles oh yea and only straight bi people who are verified by a gay man

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"guy= im new to all this but would try anything once. you have 10 veris hardly new lol"

I messaged a guy once that stated he was up for anything, I said walk around Tesco in your pants with a pencil up your nose shouting wibble and he wouldn't do it, bloody liar!

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple over a year ago

Bristol

All the couple's at a club were unattractive = we are damn ugly or incredibly dull and nobody wanted to play with us.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"guy= im new to all this but would try anything once. you have 10 veris hardly new lol

I messaged a guy once that stated he was up for anything, I said walk around Tesco in your pants with a pencil up your nose shouting wibble and he wouldn't do it, bloody liar!

pmsl

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

From men "pm me for guaranteed tribute photo"

Er......they don't do it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Will fill in later.

I've been on over a year, if you believe that you'll believe anything I say

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Will fill in later.

I've been on over a year, if you believe that you'll believe anything I say

seen that on load of profiles, will fill later... what chance they got on here if they cant write a simple profile

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By *arkside2698Man over a year ago

luton

Fun guy - hey look at me I'm a mushroom!

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

"Will fill in later.

I've been on over a year, if you believe that you'll believe anything I say

Just lazy people isn't it .... and the same Ines that moan they don't get any meets !

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By *arkside2698Man over a year ago

luton

"Fun guy - hey look at me I'm a mushroom!"

Usually translates to "I'm actually quite dull with little to no social skills"

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

#2 I have no face pics on here as I won't upload images to social media for security reasons = however I'll happily add you to Skype Kik WhatsApp etc so I can get you to send me pics to add to my wank bank, I'm really a picture collector and have no interest in meeting

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

"#2 I have no face pics on here as I won't upload images to social media for security reasons = however I'll happily add you to Skype Kik WhatsApp etc so I can get you to send me pics to add to my wank bank, I'm really a picture collector and have no interest in meeting"

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Some of these are comedy gold

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By *andl76Couple over a year ago

north east

"How's you " =i really couldn't give a shit this might as well be a worm on a hook to see if you'll bite , I've already sent it 327 times today

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Hi wuu2 wanna fuck nd suk ma dck?? Txt/msg back cnt b arsd 2 spk prprly - I'm an illiterate teenager or adult/can't be arsed to write properly/thought this may catch your eye

(And yes! It hurt my eyes even typing that!!

)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We don't meet bi men, but bi women yeah more the merrier.

Cannot accommodate, cannot travel so whats left?

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"We don't meet bi men, but bi women yeah more the merrier.

Cannot accommodate, cannot travel so whats left?"

Lots left lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mrs away but Mr free to play = please block me

You look lovely but sorry (baby sitter cancelled, dog died, party is cancelled, I'm pregnant, you're too close, aliens are invading, nuts don't taste like cherries) so we can't meet this time, but definitely next time = Aggghhh run for the hills!

And our all time favourite... said straight to our face...

Wow you guys are gorgeous. I'd love to think we could all play together sometime = I'm just about to block you the minute I walk out the door

Sigh... It really is difficult not to get utterly jaded with Fab lol

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I love to please a woman - only in a nano second, I really just want to get my cock wet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love to please a woman - only in a nano second, I really just want to get my cock wet"

I totally agree with Geordie's post = no I don't I just want to get in her knickers

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I love to please a woman - only in a nano second, I really just want to get my cock wet

I totally agree with Geordie's post = no I don't I just want to get in her knickers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love to please a woman - only in a nano second, I really just want to get my cock wet

I totally agree with Geordie's post = no I don't I just want to get in her knickers

= Shit! I might be in with a chance. Let me go and check where St. Austell is.

Argghh help we're stuck in an endless feedback loop of Fab bullshit!

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I love to please a woman - only in a nano second, I really just want to get my cock wet

I totally agree with Geordie's post = no I don't I just want to get in her knickers

= Shit! I might be in with a chance. Let me go and check where St. Austell is.

Argghh help we're stuck in an endless feedback loop of Fab bullshit!

Lol st austell is in Cornwall let me know if you ever get here

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

No or no thanks (said by a female) - why not/clearly means yes/you want me to spam your inbox/that means I can send a rude/abusive message then block you so you can't send one back!

This last point I would just revenge block back by the way!

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By *olliPineCouple over a year ago

swingers clubs

'I'm an honest guy - my wife believes me why don't you'

Genuine male here who needs to add 10 years at least on to my fab age...'

'I'm fit, athletic and good looking but unfortunately I have no pics to prove it.'

'I'm well hung 8/10 inches just like every other guy on the Internet'

'I'm great banter and know how to good a conversation, so I'll start this one with... 'Hi''

'I'm a repeat cummer, so when I'm done after a couple of minutes don't worry, give me 40 minutes and I'll be back in the game in no time. I'll not be cock blocking you for the rest of the night'

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By *illy big bolloxMan over a year ago

Newark

BBC only racist cows..... can you imagine calling blacks black in the street!!!!! You would be shot.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

couple that put a meet up for a male then when you try and message them it says blocked all users of your sex lol

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By *avrick15Man over a year ago

glasgow

"guy= im new to all this but would try anything once. you have 10 veris hardly new lol

I messaged a guy once that stated he was up for anything, I said walk around Tesco in your pants with a pencil up your nose shouting wibble and he wouldn't do it, bloody liar!

Nice blackadder quip

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I'll try anything once - I'm really a perv, if I don't like it you'll never see me again and I'll block

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By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

"White only not racist just our preference - we are members of the KKK and completely racist"

Lol.

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By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

Can't accommodate. The noise might upset my wife and kids.

Women who say they are very choosey are so choosey they never have any fun.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS over a year ago

London

Quality over quantity.

= you must be hot even though I'm not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"' I don't want to shag the whole site' = I might but I will be very careful to make sure no one finds out

I do but close my account regularly and start a new one so I look like I'm practically a virgin

Haha

So true, I believe that's an actual tactic on here, never mind the multiple profiles some people have on here

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Looking for regular fb/fwb - I'll shag you once, maybe twice and you'll never see me again!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We only meet at clubs = We aren't married to each other at all but to other people and clubs are the only way we can fuck other people without our respective partners finding out we are cheating is to meet at a club 40 miles away from our houses.

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By *teve261970Man over a year ago

Gateshead

"been here before... couldnt keep away.....

That means ... use fab when having a dry spell in the vanilla world

Come off every time I get close to my gf / bf finding out

lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"THIS IS A LEGAL NOTICE = excuse me while I just fart some capital letters out of my arse "

Hahaha

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Single men, don't contact me/us, I/we will find you - please do, love the attention, that's why my filters are off and I haven't blocked guys from messaging!

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Fun, young and hung - desperate, 40+, 7" or less

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By *ilthyDebaucheryWoman over a year ago

Oswestry

Not new to fab, been on this site before

Anyone who's met me before please verify me (no mention of previous username) = This is my first profile, I've got no veris, but I'm hoping someone will fall for it

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Not new to fab, been on this site before

Anyone who's met me before please verify me (no mention of previous username) = This is my first profile, I've got no veris, but I'm hoping someone will fall for it"

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By *ilthyDebaucheryWoman over a year ago

Oswestry

I prefer regular FBs but equally I wouldn't say no to a one off = I want you to think I'm fussy but actually I'll just fuck anyone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thought this recent status update was genius...

"Don't message me at the moment because my boyfriend is around" = bring it on all you kinky guys

...followed soon after by...

"Hey guys stop messaging me. It's so rude. My boyfriend's around" = I'm loving all this attention and would enjoy even more

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Not meeting - I am really but don't want anyone to know

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"guy= im new to all this but would try anything once. you have 10 veris hardly new lol

I messaged a guy once that stated he was up for anything, I said walk around Tesco in your pants with a pencil up your nose shouting wibble and he wouldn't do it, bloody liar!

Nice blackadder quip

"
i did that for a stag party dare once. Had to put boxers on my head too.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"guy= im new to all this but would try anything once. you have 10 veris hardly new lol

I messaged a guy once that stated he was up for anything, I said walk around Tesco in your pants with a pencil up your nose shouting wibble and he wouldn't do it, bloody liar!

Nice blackadder quip

i did that for a stag party dare once. Had to put boxers on my head too.

Lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Genuine- not really but it looks and sounds good, however I still have no veris to prove it"

110% genuine; I don't know what percent means

- Mrs. J -

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Love being dom. I got quite a few fetishes i want to try - I've seen/read 50 shades of grey, I'm a wannabe Christian Grey

This also applies to most with Dom/master/sir in the user name

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By *amesB66Man over a year ago

St Peter Port

Magic fingers = brace yourself ladies, this is going to hurt!

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Social meets first - I'm expecting to get into your knickers after 10 mins of boring chit chat

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By *amesB66Man over a year ago

St Peter Port

Picky = well, not according to your 25 individual meet verifications.

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By *amesB66Man over a year ago

St Peter Port

"Fun, young and hung - desperate, 40+, 7" or less"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fabswingers = surrender all hope those who enter.

If you're not cynical, you soon will be.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Single male = club cash cow.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Only the beautiful people need apply

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

NSA, fun, casual - I'll fuck you once get my verification, you'll never see/hear from me again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Love being dom. I got quite a few fetishes i want to try - I've seen/read 50 shades of grey, I'm a wannabe Christian Grey

This also applies to most with Dom/master/sir in the user name"

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Love the social side = love the attention but no actual intention of having sex with other people

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By *iforfun999Man over a year ago

Haverfordwest

Can't Travel, Can't Accommodate = I'm horny, you'll do, so come pick me up, take me back to your place or someone else's for group fun and then drop me back when I'm finished. No, I didn't suggest contributing to your petrol money. Where did you get that idea from? Ha Ha. Oh and I'll meet you on the corner and that's where you'll drop me back off, cos my mum/wife will be suspicious.

No, not really, of course. There are other reasons.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

We want to keep him/her/them to my/ourselves - try and meet with them and I'll turn into a raging bunny boiler endless abusive messages and possibly stalking

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Vwe - I have 7" at a pinch

BBC - I have the second B right

Heavy cummer/repeater - 2 jerks and a squirt

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By *ilthyDebaucheryWoman over a year ago

Oswestry

"We want to keep him/her/them to my/ourselves - try and meet with them and I'll turn into a raging bunny boiler endless abusive messages and possibly stalking"

Oh don't get me started on that one LOL Been on the receiving end of a bunny boiler after she viewed my profile 10 times in 3 days (you'd hide from view surely?) then messaged me after I'd had a meet/veried "her man"

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"We want to keep him/her/them to my/ourselves - try and meet with them and I'll turn into a raging bunny boiler endless abusive messages and possibly stalking

Crikey

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Athletic body type: not only too lazy to exercise, also too lazy to change the default body type when setting up the profile

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm openminded and adventurous:

I will literally do anything for some human contact

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By *oistknickersCouple over a year ago

London

"White only not racist just our preference - we are members of the KKK and completely racist"

Spot on

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By *earandmonkeyCouple over a year ago

uxbridge

Oops off to rewrite our profile lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Love the social side = love the attention but no actual intention of having sex with other people

love this one.....

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By *dstar01Man over a year ago

Shrewsbury

seen a few times... here for a good time not a long time.... means i been here a while any chance???

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Single girl, always meets with hubby/boyfriend/male friend present = you can fuck me, then my large male friend/hubby will "persuade" you to part with £100 for the pleasure.

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By *inecrestMan over a year ago

West Yorks

The lady always cums first = Sometimes it takes me ages.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I'm laid back & chilled out, 420 friendly = I'll be stoned out of my head by the time you get here, plants aren't the only things I like.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Messages that start with.. I've read your profile - I've read the first line and looked at the pics

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Safe sex only on interests.. Profile states bareback in text

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Non pushy but you must agree to having sex with us within 2 messages or we will block you x

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By *radleywigginsMan over a year ago

northwest

Curvy - Fat.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Rugby build.. 20st with a beer belly

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

I know I’m not what you are looking for .....

But trust me although I’m the complete opposite to your type I will bug you incessantly to convince you and probably when you get really fed up I will then turn nasty and say that you are ‘up yourself’

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Laid back... Lazy as f*CK in the bedroom

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By *obluvs2playMan over a year ago

redcar

"I love giving oral #2 (male) - I'm going to be so shit scared when the meet happens I won't be able to get it up"

Or......i don't want to cum to quick so when I get close I'll stop and give you oral inbetween to try and last longer/keep you busy

, thought this was MY secret trick

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By *obluvs2playMan over a year ago

redcar

Defiantly going to have to change my profile

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By *otonwatcherMan over a year ago

...

"couple that put a meet up for a male then when you try and message them it says blocked all users of your sex lol"

This!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Seen on a profile.....

I am the most honest genuine man on here ....need to be discrete as wife doesn't know about this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Amazing tongue and fingers = oh god I hope I can make you cum enough with them before I get my cock out because that is going to kill the rest of the meeting stone dead.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love giving oral #2 (male) - I'm going to be so shit scared when the meet happens I won't be able to get it up"

HAHA! OMG that's so true.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Funniest thread I've read all day

"I'm straight but love tgirls" - "Real women won't answer my messages"

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

You seem just my type... You're not, I've completely ignored everything in your profile, just trying my luck

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By *hrisANtifCouple over a year ago

Napoli, Italy

“No face pic, no reply” but sends you a message with no face pic and none to view on their profile

We’re hypocrites, do as we say not as we do!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm very choosy = No one wants to fuck me and I'm pretending it's my choice.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

We are a couple very much in love. = we are trying swinging as a last desperate attempt to save our relationship but can guarantee that we will start a vicious row between ourselves within the first hour of a meet.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

No blacks or Asians, not racist, just my preference = I will honour you with my full repertoire of racist "jokes" during a meet.

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By *olden RatioWoman over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

Can’t meet at the drop of a hat = I assume I’m so devastatingly attractive you’ll all want to fuck me straight away

Fed up of timewasters = haven’t yet realised how boring I turn out to be

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By *ikilovesCCouple over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

brilliant everyone, just brilliant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Will meet age range 16-99.

I dont care who you are I just want a fuck

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

Currently at a local hotel can you meet tonight = I am horny, but too tight to pay for a prostitute, so have sent this message to every woman within a fifty mile radius.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bi-curious - I'm determined to get a shag out of this site one way or another

I'm near you tonight - I got a hotel room for a meet but I've been stood up

Sick of timewasters - Saying hi is a binding contract in my eyes

Good standard of hygiene - I've wiped the cheese off my cock with a bit of tissue

Safe sex always - Keep your wits about you, I'll go bareback and hope you don't notice

I think we chatted before - I'm hoping you've forgotten the totally unproductive three messages that we exchanged last month

Can accommodate - between 3 and 5 pm while the wife's out

I need to be discreet - I'm a repressed homophobe and scared of my neighbours, you'll have to get dolled up in my bathroom. Fancy it?

Yes I'd love to chat here until we can arrange a meet - I'll message you back in a fortnight to see if you're ready to drop your keks yet

I live in *town 200 miles away* but often work near you - I'm married and live a mile away but hoping you've not heard this one before

I have my own office - I have a shed with a chair in it

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

"Bi-curious - I'm determined to get a shag out of this site one way or another

I'm near you tonight - I got a hotel room for a meet but I've been stood up

Sick of timewasters - Saying hi is a binding contract in my eyes

Good standard of hygiene - I've wiped the cheese off my cock with a bit of tissue

Safe sex always - Keep your wits about you, I'll go bareback and hope you don't notice

I think we chatted before - I'm hoping you've forgotten the totally unproductive three messages that we exchanged last month

Can accommodate - between 3 and 5 pm while the wife's out

I need to be discreet - I'm a repressed homophobe and scared of my neighbours, you'll have to get dolled up in my bathroom. Fancy it?

Yes I'd love to chat here until we can arrange a meet - I'll message you back in a fortnight to see if you're ready to drop your keks yet

I live in *town 200 miles away* but often work near you - I'm married and live a mile away but hoping you've not heard this one before

I have my own office - I have a shed with a chair in it"

‘Wiped the cheese off my cock’

Shudder

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By *andemanMan over a year ago

bedforshire

Iam a Dom= well I have no idea what i am doing but who cares so long as I get to Fuck your ass.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We are a couple in good shape - we can see our feet... Well each others when in the opposite recliners

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Single bloke says -

Can Accommodate = can't accommodate because wife & kids at home, can we do hotel instead

The one that puzzles us is, "Discreet" but wants to swap face pics or asks for face pics

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By *andemanMan over a year ago

bedforshire

Guys Straight = but looking for a Transvestite? Really?

note i have nothing against TVs and a TS is a woman.

but come on fellas if you like your men in drag you are NOT straight.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not judging anyone - I totally am

420 friendly - We're going to end up listening to music and talking shit all night

Can accommodate - Got the keys to work

We can have a couple of drinks - We can get our beer goggles on

Sorry, I'm not looking to meet right now - I wouldn't touch you with a bargepole and wearing a hazmat suit

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By *inkyduokentCouple over a year ago

Swanley

"Laid back easy going guy = will comletely fly off the handle if you don't reply within a nano second of reading his message!!"

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By *queekyCheesyCouple over a year ago

newark

"Anyone wanna play with my hubby while I'm away"

"Who wants to fuck my guy and send him back to me"

= I'm actually that deluded I take the time to proof read that I'm typing this correctly so as not to get found out I'm just a guy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

New account - Seeing as you blocked my last one

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By *inecrestMan over a year ago

West Yorks

Must be discreet = must be good at climbing down drainpipes in case my partner comes home unexpectedly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must be discreet = must be good at climbing down drainpipes in case my partner comes home unexpectedly. "

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By *inkyduokentCouple over a year ago

Swanley

I'm new here , please be gentle with me = I got horny earlier and set up an account, although I'm terrified and it will say "user no longer on the site" within hours

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"guy= im new to all this but would try anything once. you have 10 veris hardly new lol

I messaged a guy once that stated he was up for anything, I said walk around Tesco in your pants with a pencil up your nose shouting wibble and he wouldn't do it, bloody liar!

Lol

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

Any references to "political correctness", "pc brigade" or similar = "I am in a perpetual state of outrage than anyone should think that the feelings and needs of people who are not heterosexual white men are worthy of consideration"

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Will travel to you (200 miles)... Dreamer/fantasist having a wank whilst talking about meeting

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Very discreet = married and playing away

Married but not to each other= really taking the piss.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Must have a face pic .. while sitting there with not one picture on whole profile, laughable.

Must be verified, then in next breathe message you saying your some sort of man slag for having a number of verifications haha.

Couples stating there both straight, female starts messaging you, talking the talk and says my boyfriend would like to suck you after you've been in Me, but he's totally straight haha well aye!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

'I read your profile'

of course you did!

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By *andemanMan over a year ago

bedforshire

Guys posting photos in Police, Coast Gaurd, Fire Brgade NHS Uniforms= tell them they are putting themselves at risk of Unemployment (sarg is not going to be happy) told oh its not real i am an Actor. Next Minute Photos deleted, Accounts Closed All Public Photos moved to private!

Have a brain people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

New to all this - Been here three years but not been arsed to update my own profile since the day I joined

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Accidentally deleted old profile.... Left in a hissy fit

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

Site supporter ends in ?? Days - think I will leave as no one decent on here

Means - please someone somewhere beg me to stay again (prob 4th time this status has been up) there must be at least one chance of a shag ??

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Site supporter ends in ?? Days - think I will leave as no one decent on here

Means - please someone somewhere beg me to stay again (prob 4th time this status has been up) there must be at least one chance of a shag ?? "

#2... Forum threads stating the same thing....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

“Single”.....but just whilst online

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

"Site supporter ends in ?? Days - think I will leave as no one decent on here

Means - please someone somewhere beg me to stay again (prob 4th time this status has been up) there must be at least one chance of a shag ??

#2... Forum threads stating the same thing.... "

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By *evaquitCouple over a year ago

Catthorpe

Message starts.....I know you're not meeting at the moment..translates to.. fuck all that you really need to meet me as I'm 'the one' none of that applies to.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Meets posted for specific days and times... This is apparently a green light for random messages offering different days times when you aren't free to meet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Message starts.....I know you're not meeting at the moment..translates to.. fuck all that you really need to meet me as I'm 'the one' none of that applies to."

And "I know I'm not your type but ..."

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By *ishopstippleMan over a year ago

Purley

"Accidentally deleted old profile.... Left in a hissy fit"

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By *oftandGentle2Couple over a year ago

leeds

“Here’s my face pic....”

It’s really small and I’m wearing sunglasses!

Yeyh! Makes sence, sure your face is in there somewhere!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Meow

fucking LOL

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By *andemanMan over a year ago

bedforshire

We have a busy life so dont meet at short notice = we are never meeting while Corrie is on.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Timewaster.... Won't meet me for instant sex cos I feel horny

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

Genuine nice guy = self entitled person who will have get all passive aggressive if you won't agree to meet within three messages

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

'Great pics'

That was the only part of the profile I bothered to look at, reading interferes with my wanking

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have a busy life so dont meet at short notice = we are never meeting while Corrie is on."

Not Corrie but my own "busy life" does tend to include a lot of things that people might think are stretching the point a bit

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By *lay-full-funCouple over a year ago

stockport

Says single. But all pics have been taken in bathroom an still has wedding ring on

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