FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Guys how do you feel about being filmed with someone's wife?
Guys how do you feel about being filmed with someone's wife?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No chance! Despite any assurances they give about 'for their use only' I don't want to become some unwitting Pornhub star when they decide to upload it.
They can stick their cameras up their arse! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmm its a tricky one - what i would say though is that I would assume that the video would be focusing on the wife and her enjoyment.. and as such it wouldn't really expose the guy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've decided not to message women or couples that insist on this.
I think it's fair enough if you're all happy to do it but to insist it must be filmed seems a bit much.
Again though I'll use the most used phrase on fab.. each to their own.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agreed to participate in a 3sum video, with their assurance that it would be private and never be uploaded.
The couple were pleased with the footage but then went UNLOS. I never did get to see the finished result. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be happy to do this if they used my camera so I had control of the footage, cut out the bits with my face in, and then sent them the results. If they didn't want to do this for fear I might splurge their faces all over some porn website it'd be a tad hypocritical really. In the end, I know I can trust myself not to do that. But I don't know if I can say the same for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be happy to do this if they used my camera so I had control of the footage, cut out the bits with my face in, and then sent them the results. If they didn't want to do this for fear I might splurge their faces all over some porn website it'd be a tad hypocritical really. In the end, I know I can trust myself not to do that. But I don't know if I can say the same for them."
+1
Would probably not do this on a first meet either, and I'd obviously need a personal copy   |
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"I'd be happy to do this if they used my camera so I had control of the footage, cut out the bits with my face in, and then sent them the results. If they didn't want to do this for fear I might splurge their faces all over some porn website it'd be a tad hypocritical really. In the end, I know I can trust myself not to do that. But I don't know if I can say the same for them."
That's exactly why if we invite guys it is our camera etc.
Our game. Our rules.
If the guy is not happy with this then we simply invite someone else who is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We love meeting single guys who are fine being on camera. We use our camera, and we keep the only copy. I completely understand why some guys wouldn't be ok with it, and it's their choice if they are ok with going through with it. Being the woman in this situation, I feel more vulnerable and that's why I wouldn't share the video.
Watching the videos afterwards is super fucking hot. We don't *only* meet guys who will be on cam, but it's a huge preference. It isn't too hard to find guys who are cool with it, either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It isn't too hard to find guys who are cool with it, either."
A question for the guys who are "happy" to do this. Are you honestly happy to do it or does it make you feel a bit vulnerable and exploited but you play along and just hope it'll all be ok?
I personally find it deeply unethical to through men seeking those more exploitable than others. This may be a great hobby but for it not to be abusive and exploitative it should be something that's done on a second or third meet... when there's enough trust so that you wouldn't mind whose camera it was |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It isn't too hard to find guys who are cool with it, either.
A question for the guys who are "happy" to do this. Are you honestly happy to do it or does it make you feel a bit vulnerable and exploited but you play along and just hope it'll all be ok?
I personally find it deeply unethical to through men seeking those more exploitable than others. This may be a great hobby but for it not to be abusive and exploitative it should be something that's done on a second or third meet... when there's enough trust so that you wouldn't mind whose camera it was "
Exploitative? Any guy we meet who agrees to be on camera can easily say no. Usually they meet plenty of other people, too, so they don't even have to meet us if they don't want.
Some of the guys we meet don't mind the camera, but most are turned on by it. We watch the videos with them when we meet them again.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We love meeting single guys who are fine being on camera. We use our camera, and we keep the only copy. I completely understand why some guys wouldn't be ok with it, and it's their choice if they are ok with going through with it. Being the woman in this situation, I feel more vulnerable and that's why I wouldn't share the video.
Watching the videos afterwards is super fucking hot. We don't *only* meet guys who will be on cam, but it's a huge preference. It isn't too hard to find guys who are cool with it, either."
Hey! I want a copy too! |
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"It isn't too hard to find guys who are cool with it, either.
A question for the guys who are "happy" to do this. Are you honestly happy to do it or does it make you feel a bit vulnerable and exploited but you play along and just hope it'll all be ok?
I personally find it deeply unethical to through men seeking those more exploitable than others. This may be a great hobby but for it not to be abusive and exploitative it should be something that's done on a second or third meet... when there's enough trust so that you wouldn't mind whose camera it was
Exploitative? Any guy we meet who agrees to be on camera can easily say no. Usually they meet plenty of other people, too, so they don't even have to meet us if they don't want.
Some of the guys we meet don't mind the camera, but most are turned on by it. We watch the videos with them when we meet them again. "
Very similar to us. We've videoed a majority of our meets and all solo meets. Once videoed I spend hours editing to remove faces & identifying marks (cropping, blurring etc) and always send a copy to the guys in them (if they want a copy, some don't) and then we delete the original and only keep the edited versions just in case computer stolen etc.
We would never share with others or post online (despite getting messages asking). It comes down to trust with the people you're meeting. |
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I made a film of a threesome with a friend and her fiance a while back. But in that case I made the video and retained the original media...and destroyed it when the couple split.
I'd consider being filmed with a wife if I trusted the couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It isn't too hard to find guys who are cool with it, either.
A question for the guys who are "happy" to do this. Are you honestly happy to do it or does it make you feel a bit vulnerable and exploited but you play along and just hope it'll all be ok?
I personally find it deeply unethical to through men seeking those more exploitable than others. This may be a great hobby but for it not to be abusive and exploitative it should be something that's done on a second or third meet... when there's enough trust so that you wouldn't mind whose camera it was
Exploitative? Any guy we meet who agrees to be on camera can easily say no. Usually they meet plenty of other people, too, so they don't even have to meet us if they don't want.
Some of the guys we meet don't mind the camera, but most are turned on by it. We watch the videos with them when we meet them again.
Very similar to us. We've videoed a majority of our meets and all solo meets. Once videoed I spend hours editing to remove faces & identifying marks (cropping, blurring etc) and always send a copy to the guys in them (if they want a copy, some don't) and then we delete the original and only keep the edited versions just in case computer stolen etc.
We would never share with others or post online (despite getting messages asking). It comes down to trust with the people you're meeting."
Our videos are only kept on an external hardrive, encrypted, and never connected to out computer when the computer is connected to the internet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It comes down to trust with the people you're meeting."
Exactly If you feel you could trust a stranger to video you with their camera on a first meet then of course it's not exploitative to ask them to trust the same of you. If, like me however, you feel it's impossible to trust someone you've only just met and would be, instead, just trusting in the cosmos, then you know in your heart of hearts you're actually playing a power game with these people, forcing them to trust you before they have any reason to trust you, and if they are honest and say they don't trust you enough yet you're merely moving on to find more exploitative or vulnerable people who will agree to it.
This kind of stuff belongs on second or third meets, once trust has been established and the issue of who's camera it is no longer matters. Before then it's unethical imo |
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Our videos are only kept on an external hardrive, encrypted, and never connected to out computer when the computer is connected to the internet "
Yep...any video I make will be edited on a PC that is connected to the internet but after that stored on an external drive for security. The last thing I want is to embarrass or upset someone by their video ending up somewhere without their consent. Nor do I want myself in that position. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It comes down to trust with the people you're meeting.
Exactly If you feel you could trust a stranger to video you with their camera on a first meet then of course it's not exploitative to ask them to trust the same of you. If, like me however, you feel it's impossible to trust someone you've only just met and would be, instead, just trusting in the cosmos, then you know in your heart of hearts you're actually playing a power game with these people, forcing them to trust you before they have any reason to trust you, and if they are honest and say they don't trust you enough yet you're merely moving on to find more exploitative or vulnerable people who will agree to it.
This kind of stuff belongs on second or third meets, once trust has been established and the issue of who's camera it is no longer matters. Before then it's unethical imo "
I think you're putting your own worries about the situation onto others. For example, you quoted me above, but I never said that we move on to find more vulnerable peole if someone doesn't want to be on camera. They are free to say no. We still meet people who don't want to be on camera (either on a first meet or a fourth meet).
There are guys who find it a turn on. It isn't exploitative to meet them and film it on a first meet. In my opinion. |
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I would consider doing a pov type video, But only if I was holding the camera, Any other type would just be body shots or her face if that's what she wanted, I still would like to watch the reply and be part of any editing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are guys who find it a turn on. It isn't exploitative to meet them and film it on a first meet. In my opinion."
There are guys who find being filmed a turn on. I doubt there's a specific kink for being filmed by strangers on a first meet. You yourself wouldn't do it. Neither would your partner probably. So I'm not just applying my own outlook on this, I'm applying yours too. What would the specific kink be for being filmed on a first meet? The thrill of it maybe ending up on the Internet... the gamble? Perhaps. I think you'll find after sleeping on it, it can only be exploitative, especially if you pass up those unwilling to do so for others, as your first post suggested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are guys who find it a turn on. It isn't exploitative to meet them and film it on a first meet. In my opinion.
There are guys who find being filmed a turn on. I doubt there's a specific kink for being filmed by strangers on a first meet. You yourself wouldn't do it. Neither would your partner probably. So I'm not just applying my own outlook on this, I'm applying yours too. What would the specific kink be for being filmed on a first meet? The thrill of it maybe ending up on the Internet... the gamble? Perhaps. I think you'll find after sleeping on it, it can only be exploitative, especially if you pass up those unwilling to do so for others, as your first post suggested. "
1- I specifically said in my first post that we don't only meet guys who will be on cam. So your last sentence is misleading. Most of our meets haven't been on cam. I just said the truth - that finding guys who are cool with it isn't difficult.
2- Once again you're putting your own worries on others - my partner would be fine being filmed by a couple or a woman. It's only me who wouldn't be. Mostly because I'm a woman and I feel we are judged differently in this regard, should the tape make its way to the internet. Marc would be fine with it.
3- We've met men who find being filmed hot. It doesn't matter to them whether it's a first meet or a third meet. It matters to you - as you've stated numerous times in this thread. It isn't exploitative to film these men on a first meet.
It's fine that you aren't cool with the situation I've described - that you wouldn't do it. But to state that we are being exploitative is insulting. And factually untrue. |
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"I'd be happy to do this if they used my camera so I had control of the footage, cut out the bits with my face in, and then sent them the results. If they didn't want to do this for fear I might splurge their faces all over some porn website it'd be a tad hypocritical really. In the end, I know I can trust myself not to do that. But I don't know if I can say the same for them.
That's exactly why if we invite guys it is our camera etc.
Our game. Our rules.
If the guy is not happy with this then we simply invite someone else who is."
Can't argue that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"1- I specifically said in my first post that we don't only meet guys who will be on cam. So your last sentence is misleading. Most of our meets haven't been on cam. I just said the truth - that finding guys who are cool with it isn't difficult."
Apologies. I got you mixed up with another couple who wrote "If the guy is not happy with this then we simply invite someone else who is." That conjures up the image of pressuring the guy into being filmed or else.
"2- Once again you're putting your own worries on others - my partner would be fine being filmed by a couple or a woman. It's only me who wouldn't be. Mostly because I'm a woman and I feel we are judged differently in this regard, should the tape make its way to the internet. Marc would be fine with it."
I stand corrected. Your partner would be ok being filmed having sex by people he's never met before. He wouldn't need there to be any trust there. Ok cool.
"3- We've met men who find being filmed hot. It doesn't matter to them whether it's a first meet or a third meet. It matters to you - as you've stated numerous times in this thread. It isn't exploitative to film these men on a first meet.
It's fine that you aren't cool with the situation I've described - that you wouldn't do it. But to state that we are being exploitative is insulting. And factually untrue. "
Yes I'm certain many guys get a kick out of being filmed. I never questioned that. The only question is what they're true feelings are about being filmed by total strangers on a first meet.
Exploitation involves finding people who are either too dumb to figure out the risk they're taking or too desperate to walk away. Is there risk involved in letting a stranger film you having sex? Regardless of gender... Yes there is. Is it super relaxed and chilled to suggest to someone you film them on a first meet? No. Clearly it introduces an element of risk and puts them on the spot. They must either pretend to be cool with it and carry on or be honest and risk derailing the mood. In short, it introduces an element of power where you have the camera. You know this is true because if they had the camera you'd suddenly feel what they feel. I don't think I'm being insulting by classifying this as exploitative. I think it's pretty clear it is. Certainly if we were talking about filming women on a first meet we'd all agree it was. I can't see how gender changes those facts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Apologies for making this a heavy topic. I guess there may be guys out there who are genuinely comfortable being filmed on a first meet. I do however feel it is a trust issue and so belongs on later meets.
If you really must do it on a first meet I'd suggest you do so in a way that makes it completely no pressure. "Hey. Would you like us to film it? We're on the fence about it. So if you don't that's cool. We're happy to let you decide" As long as you make it clear you're entirely neutral on the issue, let it be their choice and not feel they may disappoint you, then something like that might work. Personally, I still feel it introduces an inappropriate tension into things... but as Courtney said... maybe that's just me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It wouldn't put me off and I'd soon forget about it and enjoy the reason I am there in the first place.
I would request no face shots (of me) and want to see the whole thing (with editing rights) before I left, lol.
So, only for me in careful, limited circumstances. |
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