FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > When he doesn't look like his pics?!
When he doesn't look like his pics?!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly!  , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It did happen to me once, where he was as you described-much heavier, older and with grey hair. I didn't mind much, as he was an ok man, except afterwards, when he wanted to write his verification from me himself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why not just be honest and tell them. I'd feel the same way but if you feel you've been led on then you've every right to say they look different to their pics.
The other option is to ask for a pic the day prior so you have time to change your mind in advance |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Skype...or kik...or ask for a photo of them touching their nose so you know its recent...just a thought..and what i get asked!"
I always ask for photos first. But I never thought of this. Thank you for the tip! This is really useful, and so simple! Really should have thought of that!  |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"Skype...or kik...or ask for a photo of them touching their nose so you know its recent...just a thought..and what i get asked!"
I've been asked to do things similar to this a few times. Normally I tell them to bugger off as I don't like people making demands of me. I did it for one guy I really really liked, but spent 20 minutes putting slap on first  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've had this twice and we have been blunt and pointed out the issues. Needless to say, no play happened on either occasion.
Its not that they were undesirable to us, it was just the fact that they had lied. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've done the same as you. Stayed long enough for a coffee or a drink then made my excuses and left.
"
This. It's not just this site. It's most of em x |
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I hear about this all the time quite sad to be honest to go thru all that effort and then turn up at the social to not look like the pics.
Why lie ?? What's the point your gonna eventually get found out. Waste of time really but what do they think they're gonna accomplish when you both meet ??
The laws of attraction suddenly won't change in an instance as you can put a mask over a lie like that.
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It's damn annoying when someone has clearly put older pics up,that puts me off instantly. There was no need for it as I would have been happy to have met him how he is now anyway,but lies irritate me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hear about this all the time quite sad to be honest to go thru all that effort and then turn up at the social to not look like the pics.
Why lie ?? What's the point your gonna eventually get found out. Waste of time really but what do they think they're gonna accomplish when you both meet ??
The laws of attraction suddenly won't change in an instance as you can put a mask over a lie like that.
"
Exactly.. What do they think will happen.. Honesty is my policy... I currently have a notice on my profile stating I'm a little out of shape compared to my pics due to a shoulder injury keeping from the gym. It's a temporary thing and any meet receives a current pic...not a lot of Diffence, but still best being up front. If they don't like me at my worst, they don't get me at my best |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've done the same as you. Stayed long enough for a coffee or a drink then made my excuses and left.
"
yip been there did that
Then when they message I just say sorry there was not spark  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We arranged to meet an apparently slim young lady for a threesome a while back, and were gutted when this beached whale waddled into the pub to meet us. We could possibly have tolerated her if she had a pretty face, but even half a ton of foundation on her face didn't change things.... Made our excuses and left ! It's so annoying when fabbers aren't honest. |
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We laugh about it now but we drove a long way for a social with a guy from another site when we were new to swinging. The guy was over an hour late, while we sat in the pub garden waiting (we'd ordered lunch or we would have left) we joked that he was the very elderly man on another table. The photo he'd sent was of a fit guy, on a boat with glossy black hair. A completely grey haired, much older and way less fit guy turned up, took a phone call when Mr N discreetly left us alone and then asked if we would be interested in meeting again.  |
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By *wo4FemCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?"
Ask them to go on cam in the chatrooms before you meet next time to verify that they look like their photos.
Mr2 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Leave. He'd probably not hesitate to do the same if someone attempted to pull a similar stunt on him.
I'm all for manners and common courtesy but given a set of deceitful circumstances like the ones you describe, all bets are off. See ya. |
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I have to say that although a couple of people have been vastly older than their pictures the majority of people we've met have looked like their pictures.
We don't ask for any proof beforehand either. |
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As someone said above - this isn't confined to fab! My worst experience was on a popular dating site and the guy I met wasn't the guy in the photos at all - he'd used pictures of his (much better looking) friend to get dates. He then said I was shallow for not wanting to see him again! 
On fab I've met plenty of men who looked older/larger than their pics - but then I'm sure plenty of men have met women who are older/larger than their pics too!
That's what the social's for though isn't it? - to make sure people are who/what they say they are - and that there's mutual attraction? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met someone who told me he was glad I looked like my pics. In response I asked him how old his pics were. He just laughed. We proceeded to have a lovely dinner and horny meet.
When we returned home I asked him for his real age. He added 5 years to his stated profile age. I responded that he looked 10 years older than stated age. It took a while but then admitted it.
He still contacts me but due to the original lie, there'll be no repeat meet. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
Seeing as I spend a while chatting before meeting up with someone I find it bloody annoying, although I'm pleased to say it's only happened a couple of times when I was new here. Since then my women's intuition had become much sharper 
Like the time I questioned a guys pics he'd sent me and he admitted they were of his cousin because he didn't have any of his own and did look similar!!! Unbelievable really |
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It happened to me; she invited me round to hers for a coffee and chat. When she opened her front door, I almost asked if her daughter was in! She was about 15 years older than the 51 she said, and considerably larger than her profile pics. At one point she asked me how she compared to her profile, and being a gentleman, I didn't want to go down the age route, so I said I thought she was bigger than her pics. She said most of her pics were only a couple of months old, and she'd actually lost a bit of weight since then! I said she was very nice, but it wasn't happening for me, and left. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As someone said above - this isn't confined to fab! My worst experience was on a popular dating site and the guy I met wasn't the guy in the photos at all - he'd used pictures of his (much better looking) friend to get dates..."
Yes I had the same experience once  |
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"As someone said above - this isn't confined to fab! My worst experience was on a popular dating site and the guy I met wasn't the guy in the photos at all - he'd used pictures of his (much better looking) friend to get dates. He then said I was shallow for not wanting to see him again!
On fab I've met plenty of men who looked older/larger than their pics - but then I'm sure plenty of men have met women who are older/larger than their pics too!
That's what the social's for though isn't it? - to make sure people are who/what they say they are - and that there's mutual attraction? "
Exactly this |
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By *arksidesubCouple
over a year ago
not far from you.. |
I completely understand as I've had a few social meets with men/couples where they have posted photos up on their profile that must have been at least 10 year old photos of themselves plus!
I have to be honest with them & tell them straight but obviously in the most polite full way possible!
Really gets me especially when you have had many conversations beforehand (precious time wasted)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yup I've that too find it's wen they don't want to send you another recent picture alarm bells shud start ringing "
That's one thing I never insist on cos I don't like sending pics of myself off the cuff as I'm not photogenic. If I've got a recent one already on my phone then they're simply lucky  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really don't get the logic of using out of date / photo shopped to fook photos of yourself, you turn up and don't look the same ~ akward!"
What about people using photos that look like they have come out of a photo album? Surely no one falls for them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When we frequented clubs regularly many a time we met people in the flesh and then later looking at the fab profile and sometimes the pics were so different we'd question if we had misheard the profile name! It is funny how some people look so different in photos, however aged pics etc are just taking the piss.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've only had this happen once luckily but he had travelled quite a distance to meet and as he walked towards me and waved I had no idea who it was!
When I realised this much older looking man was him I felt very awkward but we had a coffee and then he had to make his way home again.
First and last time I would do a long distance meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There was one guy who was actually way better than pictures 
Oh my "
I'm glad someone said that because I've been told several times I look better in person than my pics, just hate having my pic taken think that's why I look like I'm gurning |
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We arranged to meet a couple from another site a few of years ago before we joined Fab. They were both at least 10 years older than they'd said, she stated on their profile she was a size 12 and was at least a size 18, he said he was 5'10" and was about 5'2" and he was massively overweight and his profile said he was slim. The funny thing was they said WE looked just like our profile pics and description - and seemed surprised that we'd been honest! They were pleasant enough but we felt cross about the lies. We stayed for a drink and left and not surprisingly didn't take them up on their request to meet again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It happened to me; she invited me round to hers for a coffee and chat. When she opened her front door, I almost asked if her daughter was in! She was about 15 years older than the 51 she said, and considerably larger than her profile pics. At one point she asked me how she compared to her profile, and being a gentleman, I didn't want to go down the age route, so I said I thought she was bigger than her pics. She said most of her pics were only a couple of months old, and she'd actually lost a bit of weight since then! I said she was very nice, but it wasn't happening for me, and left. "
You sound as nice as me! But, I'm
thinking of being mean next time. Just leaving right away. |
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"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?"
This has just happened to me on Friday night. His pic must have been at least 7 years old. I was really looking forward to meeting him. While chatting he came out with the dreaded question if I fancied him and was he what I expected. Truthfully I said no then he went off on one saying he's a nice person and what's wrong with him I was so embarrassed. He's still messaging me now asking if we can be just friends |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?
This has just happened to me on Friday night. His pic must have been at least 7 years old. I was really looking forward to meeting him. While chatting he came out with the dreaded question if I fancied him and was he what I expected. Truthfully I said no then he went off on one saying he's a nice person and what's wrong with him I was so embarrassed. He's still messaging me now asking if we can be just friends "
I don't think you should be embarrassed. You didn't misrepresent yourself? He did! Do you want to be friends with him?
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"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?
This has just happened to me on Friday night. His pic must have been at least 7 years old. I was really looking forward to meeting him. While chatting he came out with the dreaded question if I fancied him and was he what I expected. Truthfully I said no then he went off on one saying he's a nice person and what's wrong with him I was so embarrassed. He's still messaging me now asking if we can be just friends
I don't think you should be embarrassed. You didn't misrepresent yourself? He did! Do you want to be friends with him?
"
If I'm honest no I only said I would do to soften the blow I'm slowly reducing the messages hoping it will fizzle out but if not I'm just going to have to be honest with him again but didn't want to hurt his feelings as we did get on well before we met but there is definitely zero physical attraction and I think if I did stay just friends with him he will think he's in with a chance which I can't see happening so don't want to lead him on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't get it, if you don't look like your photos you are essentially going to be wasting your own time if you arrange a meet based on someone seeing them.
I may not be great looking but I look like my pics so if I meet someone that's at least one hurdle over with. Then I just have to get past my awful personality |
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"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?"
Ive had this a few times but stayed out of politeness. But if bluntly ask there n then Id tell them no due to fact that they dont look like their profile n Im not attracted to them. Some will still persist in giving them a second chance...really? Wot they doing to do, face transplant? I also find it infuriating that they want a veri too because we've met, not a chance!! |
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"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?
Ive had this a few times but stayed out of politeness. But if bluntly ask there n then Id tell them no due to fact that they dont look like their profile n Im not attracted to them. Some will still persist in giving them a second chance...really? Wot they doing to do, face transplant? I also find it infuriating that they want a veri too because we've met, not a chance!! "
I'm definitely not giving mine a veri luckily he hasn't asked me too yet |
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Iv had the same and like u stsy for a coffee then make my excuses.
Luckily I get the opposite cis I take an awful pic and get told ur hotter than ur pics which is nice but a friend of.mine uploaded a foto of her 3 years old and 4 dress sizes less. Obv guys who prefer slim Women are going to b a bit shocked. Im overweight and prefer to say curvy so np point in lying or uploading old pics x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only happened to me once. The guy looked nothing like the hot BBC the profile promised. I told him as much, got up and left, then reported and blocked him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we have had this once , we turned up at his place and he was a lot worse looking than his pic and looked a lot older too , we said sorry were not happy and left,
not supprisingly he just agreed and apologized so I think he was expecting our reaction |
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What! This foolproof, send me a face pic or I will not meet.
You mean there is a flaw in this be all and end all plan.
What is the world coming to, I cannot get my breath, I will go to the foot of our stairs, twice.
Never saw the this coming, honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always ask guys that they've read my profile and know that I'm a larger lady before a meet and so far every meet has been okay.
One guy it was definitely an old photo, at least 15 years difference. I do now get recent photos before a meet so as not to waste time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've had this once; alongwith everything else, he had shrunk from 6' to 5'10", overnight
But since we only ever meet in clubs, we told him that we were not compatible and went to look for others. That is the good thing we find meeting in clubs; there is always someone else who we find we are compatible with
- Mrs. J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always worry a bit that someone may not think I look like my pics, I take a fair amount of effort with them so they tend to show me in a good light. I would feel embarrassed if someone was dissapointed when they met me so try to make sure they are an accurate representation despite filters ect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always do a social meet first even kik won't do for me, I had a recent meet I was really looking forward to, I walked into the coffee shop spotted my meet who looked exactly like his pics, then got into smelling distance, it was like sitting next to a pile of wet coats mixed with rotting vegetables. You wouldn't believe how quickly I had a text to say I had an urgent reason to get home  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've sort of had the reverse. Met and played with someone in a club (didn't arrange thro here). He was good looking and ticked most of the boxes so asked him for his fab name. What I saw on fab did not resemble him at all. He looked like a greek god, rippling muscles etc. I asked him why cos he was a good looking fella, but he couldn't come up with a good enough answer. Weird! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had this too. Arranged to meet a guy at a hotel . When he showed however looked nothing like his pics so sent him packing with his tail between his legs.. |
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"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?"
Am gonna play devil's advocate here.
I'm not saying that he is in the right I am just saying.
So given the amount of men per female and the hoops most guy's have to jump Thu to get a meet.
How fussy a large percentage of women are on her (including my Mrs)
And when you look at the competition from other guy's it's hardly surprising that some are a bit generous regarding looks.
So you got on liked everything about him apart from he is a bit heavier and greyer.
If he had sent current pic would he have stood any chance of getting a meet?
What happens if the guy is absolutely gorgeous and has an amazing body and cock.
But when he turns up he is a complete dickhead?
Are you saying that would be ok as long as he looks as advertised?
And to really stir the pot.
Guy's can't hide behind makeup or big hair. Women can hide many number of imperfections with special underwear and bra's that push, pull, squish, pad etc..
Lots of slap and curls.
Like I said I am not saying that it's ok to send pic's from ages ago.
But it's hard to be really harsh given how difficult it is on here for guy's. |
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I wish the op asked the question both ways and included women who don't look like their pictures which is actually the majority, why is there a constant effort to make it look like all guys on here would do anything for a fuck or have no standards or will fuck anything, this is absolutely false. |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
Its not happened to me but I do always worry people meet me and I'm not what they expect. My photos are all recent and of me but I'm the first to admit I try to use good angles, I breathe in and I filter.
No ones ran for the hills yet though so its some comfort |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I could write a book about this, I've had a guy send pics of his friend.
A 65 year old guy try pass himself off as 45.
A guy who must have put 6 stone on since his pics were taken.
The list is endless, taking hearing aids out for pics,
Don't get me wrong I'm no super model but my profile states this.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Coincidentally, there was another thread recently whereby the op was asking why they got a lot of social meets but never got to play. The insinuation was that everyone was a fake and only interested in social meets and no one ever wanted to play.
My suggestion that maybe some new up to date pictures might help didn't go down well, though I haven't met the op of that thread, it did scream out to me that their pics were not a true representation of reality.
I only have one face pic on here, which is a couple of years old, though I was wearing a lot of make up at the time, so wasn't a true representation even when it was new. If someone is serious about a meeting, I have no issues taking a new pic and emailing it. |
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One time i can remember a man i met had a small penis which i was surprised about because the men on his profile pictures were not small, it was only after i had met him that i realised they were pictures from porn sites. I thought the idea was you were meant to put pictures on of yourself. |
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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago
Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;) |
I had a lady, who was very very keen but no profile pics, private etc which always sets alarms off..
Anyhow, politely told her to email me a pic with her in it and her user name written on paper.. we had some fantastic adventures from that point onwards.
Just a matter of making sure for yourself |
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"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?
Am gonna play devil's advocate here.
I'm not saying that he is in the right I am just saying.
So given the amount of men per female and the hoops most guy's have to jump Thu to get a meet.
How fussy a large percentage of women are on her (including my Mrs)
And when you look at the competition from other guy's it's hardly surprising that some are a bit generous regarding looks.
So you got on liked everything about him apart from he is a bit heavier and greyer.
If he had sent current pic would he have stood any chance of getting a meet?
What happens if the guy is absolutely gorgeous and has an amazing body and cock.
But when he turns up he is a complete dickhead?
Are you saying that would be ok as long as he looks as advertised?
And to really stir the pot.
Guy's can't hide behind makeup or big hair. Women can hide many number of imperfections with special underwear and bra's that push, pull, squish, pad etc..
Lots of slap and curls.
Like I said I am not saying that it's ok to send pic's from ages ago.
But it's hard to be really harsh given how difficult it is on here for guy's. "
I totally get what your saying but if men AND women have too deceive us to get a meet what do they expect to happen once they're face to face? I personally would not put myself in that awkward situation which is why my pics are upto date. I have also met someone who was physically fit and good looking like his pics but I refused to take it further so it's not just about appearances it's about the chemistry and to some degree trust, but that trust is gone the second you meet them so why would you take it any further. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some of these people could actually believe they still look the same as they did a year's worth of doughnuts ago, or back when they used a comb and there wasn't a grey pube in sight
Self perception is a funny thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Happened to me once. The man was at least 10 years older and 5 stone heavier than the guy in the pics.
I drove off and messaged him to tell him exactly why
|
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Yes... Happened to me in my early days on Fab. Looked substantially older than in his pics or the age given on his profile (he later admitted to changing his age so he could circumvent my contact settings). I stayed in the pub and had a couple of drinks out of politeness... And he proceeded to bore the ears off me for the next hour moaning about his workmates. In the end he said he thought we'd really clicked and asked me back to his place. I politely declined and said he was very mistaken.
I'm a bit older and wiser myself now and less tolerant of bullshit... If I turned up these days and somebody had clearly got me there under false pretences I'd rip them a new one and leave |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"So given the amount of men per female and the hoops most guy's have to jump Thu to get a meet.
How fussy a large percentage of women are on her (including my Mrs)
And when you look at the competition from other guy's it's hardly surprising that some are a bit generous regarding looks.
So you got on liked everything about him apart from he is a bit heavier and greyer.
If he had sent current pic would he have stood any chance of getting a meet?
What happens if the guy is absolutely gorgeous and has an amazing body and cock.
But when he turns up he is a complete dickhead?
Are you saying that would be ok as long as he looks as advertised?
And to really stir the pot.
Guy's can't hide behind makeup or big hair. Women can hide many number of imperfections with special underwear and bra's that push, pull, squish, pad etc..
Lots of slap and curls.
Like I said I am not saying that it's ok to send pic's from ages ago.
But it's hard to be really harsh given how difficult it is on here for guy's. "
So they want to make it even harder for the men is your logic by lying about themselves just to get a foot in the door?
That's not really logical now is it? Most women along with myself can't abide liars either, so they'd still be fucked, just not in a good way  |
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
I think it's normal to want to put pics on where you look good but I don't see the point in using fake or old pics....in our friends only pics I have a selection of 'after' pics where I look like I have dragged through a hedge backwards and full length - rolls of belly fat ones - because I don't want anyone getting scared  |
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"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?"
I did exactly that! 90 mins drive on a school night to meet a guy who turned out to look way older than his pics and overweight to boot
I told him exactly that and walked straight out and drove back
You can't deceive people then expect them to be polite! What do they think will happen? You'll think oh well I'm here now so may as well shag them?
Pisses me off big time Shows a real lack of respect |
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By *ander_XMan
over a year ago
Greater Manchester |
It's only natural that people choose pictures that show them in their best light.
I always go into meets with realistic expectations knowing the wonders that flattering light and camera angles can sometimes work. In my mind I expect reality to be different to those carefully captured and chosen moments and so I've barley ever experienced feeling disappointed that someone doesn't look like their photos.
The one time I really have was on another site, a woman whose profile said she was early 30s, in her photos she had quite 80s looking clothes on but I'd just written that off as the 80s look being back in
When we met I discovered that the photos clearly were from the 80s!
Funny thing was she actually ended up rejecting me by driving off on the opposite direction after a just quick glance at me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I only usually meet much younger guys so not had that problem, infact most have looked much better than their pics. Had one guy I spoke to for quite a while get a bit cagey about sending a selfie on the day we were meant to be meeting, he then sent a photobomb that disappeared within seconds...it just happened to look naff all like the pic I had seen before. I even asked him, after him not understanding the problem, what he thought was gonna happen when he got to mine and I told him he would not be stopping? He reckoned I wouldn't do that because he would've travelled from Essex...I told him I really would've and blocked him....bloody craziness!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This proves again how misleading and time wasting people can be online. Genuine Fabbers get let down on meets.
Going to use thread as reference when having conversations on this topic with friends!
Thank you for sharing OP. Even though it is about negative experiences... this is going to help many people for future meets. |
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Not exclusive to Fab (it's common practice on vanilla dating sites, along with only photos taken from above the neck).
Also it is most definitely not only men who are guilty of being untruthful with their photos on Fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It never even occurred to me not to use current pics. I am selective who I send face pics to and special requests might take a little time but they are all present me. Pointless otherwise.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's happened to me a few times.first time I stood at the bar .bought a drink for me and her .put the drinks on our table and told her I'd left my phone on the car and slipped...
The other one she was on her car and I was behind but not parked properly.on introducing myself as she sat in her car I said ok let me find parking space .only one I could find was back on my driveway ... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Height is the big thing for me ... many a time the are the same height as me 5'8 when they say over 5'11
I don't know how they expect me not to notice "
Arrgh... this happened to me yesterday!
5ft 8" with a push! The guy may be lovely but I'm simply not attracted to that! |
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When my age range was higher it happened frequently. Met a guy in a pub after chatting for awhile. He admitted his photos were 10 years old and that he was in his 50s not 40 and that he puts 40 or he wouldn't get meets
I'm too polite so each time I stayed had a drink then left
Now my age range is lower hasn't happened |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Happened twice to us. When we started on the scene we used to skype thankfully as a man who said he was in his 30's and looked it in his pics turned out to be late 50's. I was so shocked and way too inexperienced to say a lot...chickened out and just turned Skype off and blocked him!
Met a couple once who looked nothing like their pics at all, politely made our excuses and left .
We realise that no one puts a bad pic out there, us included, but at least be honest with it!! Lol |
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"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?"
why on earth they do it is beyond me life you can't tell or notice FFS! ... I now add the question when chatting ... can I have your most recent up to date pic ..and I don't do pics of pics ... cause that's when they are off 10 years ago ... I've met lads who have turned up at mine .. I've said who are you ?! ... pulled up the pics they send me in my mobile (still n the door step) ... said Hello!! ... slammed the front door shut ... but I ain't shy and pretty direct ... .. but one thing I can abide is liars .... and I see red and can't hide it ... as I've made the effort to meet someone who isn't the person that turned up .... rarely does it happen now ... but has done many times in the past |
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We had this last year, the guy turned up looking a lot older then 40, more like 65..my john looking at him and said is your son coming as well, all went quite for a while then he left.. saw him later in Roda with his partner holding hands shopping , so much for being on a singles holiday, or maybe he got lucky..lol.. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?"
i was thinking of doing a chauvinistic parody of this post to see what the reaction would be but then i thought fuck it shallow people make other people feel insecure it is what it is they then moans about people using flattering camera angles pictures just after they have dried there hair and other tricks because they know its a a shallow fucking world if you get my meaning . |
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"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?
i was thinking of doing a chauvinistic parody of this post to see what the reaction would be but then i thought fuck it shallow people make other people feel insecure it is what it is they then moans about people using flattering camera angles pictures just after they have dried there hair and other tricks because they know its a a shallow fucking world if you get my meaning . "
. I'm the first to hold my hands up and say .... too rights I'm shallow ... this is fab not match.com ... for me (can only speak for me) ... 90% is about physical appearance ... if I ain't attracted then what on earth is the point ... I'm not here for a meaningful deep relationship ..(we all have our own reasons for being on fab) but I don't put other folks down ... not my style ... I know what I want and like ... and if men just told the truth (I'm not talking about camera angles etc ... I'm talking age and years and in some cases decades) massive difference ... there is someone for everyone I believe so no need to lie or distort the truth. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?
i was thinking of doing a chauvinistic parody of this post to see what the reaction would be but then i thought fuck it shallow people make other people feel insecure it is what it is they then moans about people using flattering camera angles pictures just after they have dried there hair and other tricks because they know its a a shallow fucking world if you get my meaning . . I'm the first to hold my hands up and say .... too rights I'm shallow ... this is fab not match.com ... for me (can only speak for me) ... 90% is about physical appearance ... if I ain't attracted then what on earth is the point ... I'm not here for a meaningful deep relationship ..(we all have our own reasons for being on fab) but I don't put other folks down ... not my style ... I know what I want and like ... and if men just told the truth (I'm not talking about camera angles etc ... I'm talking age and years and in some cases decades) massive difference ... there is someone for everyone I believe so no need to lie or distort the truth. "
if your the type of person who will reduce another human being down to purely a cosmetic fuck based on physical appearance only then in my opinion don't moan about people willing to lie and cheat to get a fuck as one is as bad as the other from where I'm standing on grounds of both being unsavoury personality traits in a fellow human being. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
")
if your the type of person who will reduce another human being down to purely a cosmetic fuck based on physical appearance only then in my opinion don't moan about people willing to lie and cheat to get a fuck as one is as bad as the other from where I'm standing on grounds of both being unsavoury personality traits in a fellow human being. "
I couldn't disagree with you more, Fab is mainly about nsa sex. Physical attraction is the starting point to suggest otherwise is dishonest. |
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"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?
i was thinking of doing a chauvinistic parody of this post to see what the reaction would be but then i thought fuck it shallow people make other people feel insecure it is what it is they then moans about people using flattering camera angles pictures just after they have dried there hair and other tricks because they know its a a shallow fucking world if you get my meaning . . I'm the first to hold my hands up and say .... too rights I'm shallow ... this is fab not match.com ... for me (can only speak for me) ... 90% is about physical appearance ... if I ain't attracted then what on earth is the point ... I'm not here for a meaningful deep relationship ..(we all have our own reasons for being on fab) but I don't put other folks down ... not my style ... I know what I want and like ... and if men just told the truth (I'm not talking about camera angles etc ... I'm talking age and years and in some cases decades) massive difference ... there is someone for everyone I believe so no need to lie or distort the truth.
if your the type of person who will reduce another human being down to purely a cosmetic fuck based on physical appearance only then in my opinion don't moan about people willing to lie and cheat to get a fuck as one is as bad as the other from where I'm standing on grounds of both being unsavoury personality traits in a fellow human being. "
I most certainly do and to be honest I couldn't careless about your opinion or anyone else's for that matter ... I'm on fab for MY reasons I'm just very honest with it ... and forgive me for expecting others to be honest too .... silly me eh |
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"Skype...or kik...or ask for a photo of them touching their nose so you know its recent...just a thought..and what i get asked!
I always ask for photos first. But I never thought of this. Thank you for the tip! This is really useful, and so simple! Really should have thought of that! "
Unless they take a photo of an old photo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Height is the big thing for me ... many a time the are the same height as me 5'8 when they say over 5'11
I don't know how they expect me not to notice "
This happens a lot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In situations like that - you can't be letting them off gently. Especially if they've been leading you on with this whole fake persona. Sometimes you just got to teach them a lesson and tell them to fuck right off, as opposed to just sitting there and have a little drink if you're fuming inside.
I'd always send a recent picture but we all have pics that are our favourite and the lighting may have been great when we took that snap. Everybody likes to send a pic that is their fave but it's always best to get an up to date one as well.
|
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People should really remember to turn up to a meet walking and sitting at flattering angles. I can imagine the difficulties in both parties trying to get a little lower than eachother, for that perfect selfie view |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I once had to just leave. He was already seated with his coffee. I got one and looked around but couldn't see 'him' so picked a table by the window. Sat down. Next thing he comes up to me. Taps me on the shoulder. We exchanged pleasantries and I suddenly realise I had forgotten the sugar for my coffee... I just left. Was so different it was a shock and I didn't know how to deal with it.
(No one from this site btw... YET!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Goes without saying that this happens a lot for both sexes.. we have it twice where the girl looks completely different without her "filters"
"
I once sent a photo so recent that I had one very red eye from the plucking eyebrows job I was doing in the mirror whilst waiting for someone to land at the airport. We still laugh about it to this day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?
This has just happened to me on Friday night. His pic must have been at least 7 years old. I was really looking forward to meeting him. While chatting he came out with the dreaded question if I fancied him and was he what I expected. Truthfully I said no then he went off on one saying he's a nice person and what's wrong with him I was so embarrassed. He's still messaging me now asking if we can be just friends "
I met someone who I thought looked 10 years older than his pics. It turned out I was spot on. He told me he was relieved that I looked like my pics. I responded by asking how old his were.
We actually had a lovely meal and good meet but I refuse to meet again due to initial deception and the fact he continued to fob me off for a while after.
Why? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Goes without saying that this happens a lot for both sexes.. we have it twice where the girl looks completely different without her "filters"
I once sent a photo so recent that I had one very red eye from the plucking eyebrows job I was doing in the mirror whilst waiting for someone to land at the airport. We still laugh about it to this day "
Thats brilliant.. but its you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Goes without saying that this happens a lot for both sexes.. we have it twice where the girl looks completely different without her "filters"
"
Massive pet hate of mine those filters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not exclusive to Fab (it's common practice on vanilla dating sites, along with only photos taken from above the neck).
Also it is most definitely not only men who are guilty of being untruthful with their photos on Fab. "
Yep I have to agree.
I tell guys they need a selection of pics up. When there's just one, I smell a... Fish |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's happened to me a few times, where I've shown up for a date/social meet and the man looks quite different from what I was expecting.
We've exchanged messages, spoken over the phone, gotten on well, I'm excited to meet him and then I show up and...
He's eaten lots of pies, lost his hair-suddenly! , seen a ghost an it's turned his hair white, much older than expected etc.
I've always been polite, stayed for the drink, let him down as gently as possible.
But, inside, I'm boiling! It's been a complete waste of my time and effort. And I feel it's dishonest!
I say to myself one day I'll just say, 'you're not like your pictures', turn away and leave immediately.
Luckily this doesn't happen all the time!
But..
I know it happens to lots of us...
How do you react to it?
What would you say/do?
i was thinking of doing a chauvinistic parody of this post to see what the reaction would be but then i thought fuck it shallow people make other people feel insecure it is what it is they then moans about people using flattering camera angles pictures just after they have dried there hair and other tricks because they know its a a shallow fucking world if you get my meaning . . I'm the first to hold my hands up and say .... too rights I'm shallow ... this is fab not match.com ... for me (can only speak for me) ... 90% is about physical appearance ... if I ain't attracted then what on earth is the point ... I'm not here for a meaningful deep relationship ..(we all have our own reasons for being on fab) but I don't put other folks down ... not my style ... I know what I want and like ... and if men just told the truth (I'm not talking about camera angles etc ... I'm talking age and years and in some cases decades) massive difference ... there is someone for everyone I believe so no need to lie or distort the truth.
if your the type of person who will reduce another human being down to purely a cosmetic fuck based on physical appearance only then in my opinion don't moan about people willing to lie and cheat to get a fuck as one is as bad as the other from where I'm standing on grounds of both being unsavoury personality traits in a fellow human being. I most certainly do and to be honest I couldn't careless about your opinion or anyone else's for that matter ... I'm on fab for MY reasons I'm just very honest with it ... and forgive me for expecting others to be honest too .... silly me eh "
Old pics, lying about age/height/status etc is all deceit. |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"I think it's normal to want to put pics on where you look good but I don't see the point in using fake or old pics....in our friends only pics I have a selection of 'after' pics where I look like I have dragged through a hedge backwards and full length - rolls of belly fat ones - because I don't want anyone getting scared "
I have similar in my friends gallery for exactly the same reasons. Anyone who wants to meet me only after looking at my public pics and making a snap meet decision because of the way I look in those isn't the kind of person I want to meet anyway so I shall continue to have my public pics cropped and filtered where it's appropriate. Filters aren't always about wanting to look your best in photos either, at least not for me. They're about being comfortable having pics on public display where any site member can see them rather than the people I personally choose to see them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People should really remember to turn up to a meet walking and sitting at flattering angles. I can imagine the difficulties in both parties trying to get a little lower than eachother, for that perfect selfie view "
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That's just wrong... I presume you have exchanged face pics but then realised he sent you one from 1995!
It's that or your dates are arriving by open topped car in high winds and using pies to calm their nerves on the way... this could explain the hair at least. Ok, maybe not
You could try video chat before date? |
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Had similar problem few times but with women.. they said they were tiny and petite like wiggles and in pics looked as described.
Turns out women are fucking talented at selfie angles, which is pretty impressive till you meet face to face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The beauty of photo filters and editing being much easier. Also using "old" photos.
Unfortunately it's something that happens more and more, but if the person doesn't float your boat in the flesh... simply explain your reasons, make it simple. End of the day, folk doing it know hey have done it so shouldn't be surprised when knocked back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Goes without saying that this happens a lot for both sexes.. we have it twice where the girl looks completely different without her "filters"
I once sent a photo so recent that I had one very red eye from the plucking eyebrows job I was doing in the mirror whilst waiting for someone to land at the airport. We still laugh about it to this day
Thats brilliant.. but its you! "
I once drove an hour and got there, only to get out of the car and realise I forgot to change my shoes and had my slippers on Good thing is he looked like his pics so shoes and the rest were irrelevant 10 minutes after arriving. My red cheeks lasted all night for different reasons hehe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it does happen in reverse too , ive met a few ladies who had aged and eaten a lot of pies since the picture they had forwarded to me , but they wee still lovely ladies and great fun x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When my age range was higher it happened frequently. Met a guy in a pub after chatting for awhile. He admitted his photos were 10 years old and that he was in his 50s not 40 and that he puts 40 or he wouldn't get meets
I'm too polite so each time I stayed had a drink then left
Now my age range is lower hasn't happened "
Harsh but understandable. I think there is a, again, not unreasonable, expectation that the over 50's are goingvto be less physically attractive, maybe even fat and fugly to many.I always do far better meeting the old fashioned way, ie bars, social events.... |
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