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swinging life hard to give up
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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anyone found/finding it hard to give up from the single swinging life then into a relationship with a partner who doesn't swing? fell back into the urge? |
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"anyone found/finding it hard to give up from the single swinging life then into a relationship with a partner who doesn't swing? fell back into the urge?"
Yes, swinging isn't an 'urge' for me. Multiple partners is the default predisposition for the majority of the population. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"anyone found/finding it hard to give up from the single swinging life then into a relationship with a partner who doesn't swing? fell back into the urge?"
I wouldn't be with a partner who wasn't happy for me to swing. If you love swinging, perhaps you shouldn't be with someone who isn't happy with that? |
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"maybe "urge" was the incorrect description but hope most get the point x my apologies"
We knew what you meant
Some people are just passing by here and openly say they will give up swinging when they are in a relationship. That's fine if that's what they want, but those people aren't swingers. For swingers, ethical non-monogamy is their chosen path and if a partner couldn't accept that then it would be pointless to attempt a relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"maybe "urge" was the incorrect description but hope most get the point x my apologies
We knew what you meant
Some people are just passing by here and openly say they will give up swinging when they are in a relationship. That's fine if that's what they want, but those people aren't swingers. For swingers, ethical non-monogamy is their chosen path and if a partner couldn't accept that then it would be pointless to attempt a relationship. " |
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"anyone found/finding it hard to give up from the single swinging life then into a relationship with a partner who doesn't swing? fell back into the urge?"
Is this a dilemma you're facing?
I've read enough threads from unhappy men in relationships that are sexually unsatisfying to them because their partners won't swing, to think that if it's important to you you need to think long and hard about the future. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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thats the thing though not necessarily a sex problem, just purely and simply the fun side of swinging and the things it can offer to those that enjoy it |
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"thats the thing though not necessarily a sex problem, just purely and simply the fun side of swinging and the things it can offer to those that enjoy it"
I hope never to be in a position where I'm starting a new relationship but if I was I would say what I wanted from the start. I don't have the time or the energy to expend on waiting to find out if were compatible on sexual matters. |
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having been part of a couple for a few years. now finding myself single and looking for a new partner who is willing to play with others is a very hard thing to find. dont know if i am going to have to go vanilla and settle for a one on one relationship, |
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"anyone found/finding it hard to give up from the single swinging life then into a relationship with a partner who doesn't swing? fell back into the urge?
I wouldn't be with a partner who wasn't happy for me to swing. If you love swinging, perhaps you shouldn't be with someone who isn't happy with that?"
This! For me after swinging there's no going back to the vanilla life with one partner
I'm quite happy being single but if I were to meet someone for an LTR they'd have to be open to the idea of swinging even if it's only every few months |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As someone who wants to break into the scene I can understand why it would be difficult to give up. Most on here are passionately protective of the life style, and I think within the community the integrity about "why" is very high.
There's an addictive element and once immersed its probably hard to get back aagain |
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"As someone who wants to break into the scene I can understand why it would be difficult to give up. Most on here are passionately protective of the life style, and I think within the community the integrity about "why" is very high.
There's an addictive element and once immersed its probably hard to get back aagain"
I'd say the sex is way better with swingers They're way more confident, imaginative and uninhibited The social side is just as much fun too |
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"As someone who wants to break into the scene I can understand why it would be difficult to give up. Most on here are passionately protective of the life style, and I think within the community the integrity about "why" is very high.
There's an addictive element and once immersed its probably hard to get back aagain"
Personally i wouldn't say it was addictive. Monogamy never felt natural to me, it was just sexually fristration with elements of guilt. Ethical non-monogamy is what i would call 'natural' for me. |
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I think it is different for each individual. My husband has been swinging for years with some previous partners, although others refused. He possibly is addicted to the variety of sex and the thrill of new partners and vanilla relationships didn't last,however hard he tried. We met and he told me straight away about his love of swinging. We tried it together and I too enjoy a good sexual encounter. Am I addicted? No. I could give up any time as my man is the only person I fancy and he can fulfil me. The swinging is just a fun add on. Could my husband give up? No I don't think he would be truly happy in a vanilla lifestyle. So we are lucky to have met each other in that swinging works well for us. Lots of fun to be had!! |
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