FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Cancelled meets
Cancelled meets
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"Why always on the day then a message saying we still want to meet? How many chances would you give? Your thoughts/views on this please xx" Life continues. However if it's always happening what can you do differently? | |||
"With most of my meets while I'm away in business in hotels I try to arrange them about a week before the meeting date. I will always message on the morning of the meet to double check if we still are meeting but sometimes I get a message back saying they have made other plans as they haven't heard from me in a week! But on the other hand should you message then everyday asking if we are still meeting and start to become a pest?!?" You must of have conversations to get to the meeting point, so why do you let these conversations drop? Surely the build up to the meet is part of the meet?  | |||
"With most of my meets while I'm away in business in hotels I try to arrange them about a week before the meeting date. I will always message on the morning of the meet to double check if we still are meeting but sometimes I get a message back saying they have made other plans as they haven't heard from me in a week! But on the other hand should you message then everyday asking if we are still meeting and start to become a pest?!? You must of have conversations to get to the meeting point, so why do you let these conversations drop? Surely the build up to the meet is part of the meet? "You're right and that is what I do but still you don't want to come across as a pest as I'm sure girls are constantly pestered with messages about meets | |||
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"With most of my meets while I'm away in business in hotels I try to arrange them about a week before the meeting date. I will always message on the morning of the meet to double check if we still are meeting but sometimes I get a message back saying they have made other plans as they haven't heard from me in a week! But on the other hand should you message then everyday asking if we are still meeting and start to become a pest?!? You must of have conversations to get to the meeting point, so why do you let these conversations drop? Surely the build up to the meet is part of the meet?
You're right and that is what I do but still you don't want to come across as a pest as I'm sure girls are constantly pestered with messages about meets"If i had no contact in the build up to the meet and then a message on the day asking if we were still meeting my answer would definitely be no. Even if i was free, tho more than likely I would make other plans. Normal conversation! The build up to the meet itself or it doesnt happen. | |||
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"Had a cancelled meet myself today, she instigated it, arranged the time, then got the I've got to work message this morning? May be true I don't know? Being a single man (and I mean single no wife/no g/friend) meets are hard enough to arrange anyway. I probably won't contact her again and wait to see if she gets in touch, I won't hold my breath. Had a meet on Sunday, went really well, met at my local joined in quiz night, had a great laugh, she stayed at my house, night and morning of great sex, then I logged onto my fab account, she had my phone while I made a cuppa, she decided to send a nasty message to a couple I've been chatting to (message was - tough luck he's mine tonight). She left, I found the message? They weren't happy obviously, I let her know I wasn't happy. She has left the site I didn't get a veri, I won't be meeting the couple. Feeling a bit fed up with fab, well actually feeling a bit fed up with life in general today. I try to be nice to everyone, do what I say I'm going to do, treat people with respect but I don't get the same in return? Not a lot of swingers in my area so chances are limited anyway, makes these situations worse very disappointed with the people I've crossed paths with lately" You should keep phone locked | |||
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"With most of my meets while I'm away in business in hotels I try to arrange them about a week before the meeting date. I will always message on the morning of the meet to double check if we still are meeting but sometimes I get a message back saying they have made other plans as they haven't heard from me in a week! But on the other hand should you message then everyday asking if we are still meeting and start to become a pest?!? You must of have conversations to get to the meeting point, so why do you let these conversations drop? Surely the build up to the meet is part of the meet?
You're right and that is what I do but still you don't want to come across as a pest as I'm sure girls are constantly pestered with messages about meets
If i had no contact in the build up to the meet and then a message on the day asking if we were still meeting my answer would definitely be no. Even if i was free, tho more than likely I would make other plans. Normal conversation! The build up to the meet itself or it doesnt happen."Would you contact them or just wait for them to contact you. Conversation is a two way thing. | |||
"If it walks like a duck Quacks like a duck It's more than likely a duck "Haha. .
Op. I give as many chances as I want. It could be one. It could be a dozen, it depends if I believe/respect them enough. | |||
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"Had a cancelled meet myself today, she instigated it, arranged the time, then got the I've got to work message this morning? May be true I don't know? Being a single man (and I mean single no wife/no g/friend) meets are hard enough to arrange anyway. I probably won't contact her again and wait to see if she gets in touch, I won't hold my breath. Had a meet on Sunday, went really well, met at my local joined in quiz night, had a great laugh, she stayed at my house, night and morning of great sex, then I logged onto my fab account, she had my phone while I made a cuppa, she decided to send a nasty message to a couple I've been chatting to (message was - tough luck he's mine tonight). She left, I found the message? They weren't happy obviously, I let her know I wasn't happy. She has left the site I didn't get a veri, I won't be meeting the couple. Feeling a bit fed up with fab, well actually feeling a bit fed up with life in general today. I try to be nice to everyone, do what I say I'm going to do, treat people with respect but I don't get the same in return? Not a lot of swingers in my area so chances are limited anyway, makes these situations worse very disappointed with the people I've crossed paths with lately" I actually think the opposite outside of the being a single guy on here, your free time is yours so to speak, several dozen things can cancel ours. Our two kids, the dog, our sitters, their kids,their dogs. Obviously our extended family mum/dad etc. But these apply to you too. We are all set to head north Saturday, I won't guarantee we are going though till I turn the ignition key in the car. Its life, Fab gets in the way sometimes (The correct way to look at it imo) We've never cancelled on the day though & only had one no show so far. | |||
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" Had a meet on Sunday, went really well, met at my local joined in quiz night, had a great laugh, she stayed at my house, night and morning of great sex, then I logged onto my fab account, she had my phone while I made a cuppa, she decided to send a nasty message to a couple I've been chatting to (message was - tough luck he's mine tonight). She left, I found the message? They weren't happy obviously, I let her know I wasn't happy. She has left the site I didn't get a veri, I won't be meeting the couple. Feeling a bit fed up with fab, well actually feeling a bit fed up with life in general today. I try to be nice to everyone... Not a lot of swingers in my area so chances are limited anyway, makes these situations worse very disappointed with the people I've crossed paths with lately" Gosh what a creepy thing she did, cannot believe someone would do that. Keep being nice to people, treat others how you wish to be treated and remove the unpleasant ones from your life. Her x | |||
"If it walks like a duck Quacks like a duck It's more than likely a duck
Haha. .
Op. I give as many chances as I want. It could be one. It could be a dozen, it depends if I believe/respect them enough. "...or fancy them enough?!  | |||
"With most of my meets while I'm away in business in hotels I try to arrange them about a week before the meeting date. I will always message on the morning of the meet to double check if we still are meeting but sometimes I get a message back saying they have made other plans as they haven't heard from me in a week! But on the other hand should you message then everyday asking if we are still meeting and start to become a pest?!? You must of have conversations to get to the meeting point, so why do you let these conversations drop? Surely the build up to the meet is part of the meet?
You're right and that is what I do but still you don't want to come across as a pest as I'm sure girls are constantly pestered with messages about meets
If i had no contact in the build up to the meet and then a message on the day asking if we were still meeting my answer would definitely be no. Even if i was free, tho more than likely I would make other plans. Normal conversation! The build up to the meet itself or it doesnt happen."Exactly this | |||
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"There are mitigating circumstances which can affect all.. Kids, life, family emergencies... Things happening once, ok its possible that sometimes things happen...twice its a little less mitigating and more of a hmmmmm Thing is go with your gut instinct and see what happens. " This is so true, I haven't had to cancel any meets yet (although I haven't had that many to begin with) but I could definitely see having to make that call because of a work or family emergency. I get so few chances to arrange something that if I say I want to meet I'm going to do it if I possibly can. | |||
" Would you contact them or just wait for them to contact you. Conversation is a two way thing." We chat most days with prospectives but if we talk dates and they put it off for whatever reason we just message, say OK that sounds good let us know. We usually will not contact them again ever. Its a bit of a confidence thing I guess, we don't want to appear pushy & we don't want someone feeling they have to do something they are not 100% with. They stay as friends on here though & any other social convo groups we had are left open for quite sometime. We just won't be the ones to re-kick them into life even if we'd like too. S | |||
"With most of my meets while I'm away in business in hotels I try to arrange them about a week before the meeting date. I will always message on the morning of the meet to double check if we still are meeting but sometimes I get a message back saying they have made other plans as they haven't heard from me in a week! But on the other hand should you message then everyday asking if we are still meeting and start to become a pest?!?" Welcome to the world of the single male profile. Damned if you do, damned if you don't lol | |||
"If it walks like a duck Quacks like a duck It's more than likely a duck
Haha. .
Op. I give as many chances as I want. It could be one. It could be a dozen, it depends if I believe/respect them enough.
...or fancy them enough?!
"I fancy anyone enough to arrange to meet them. | |||
"Have been cancelled on more than once all by single men... one cancelled 40 mins before we was due to meet... just text "bottled" " Lmao! At least he was honest | |||
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"Have been cancelled on more than once all by single men... one cancelled 40 mins before we was due to meet... just text "bottled" But we are still interested in single men and will not let this put us off "Understand your annoyance. Mine cancelled 10 minutes before meeting. I paid out for travel and made all the effort to go to him. He never even text saying cancelled. The bit that didn't make sense was he messaged that morning confirming that we're still on! Another gave me the wrong address on purpose. I knocked and some random stranger answered. Was a first meet and during the evening. That actually scared me because I could of very easily been dragged into that property. Never again do I meet for the first time at a gentleman's home. I don't understand why some guys trick and waste a woman's time. We're not here to marry you! Just want to fuck you lol. | |||
"Why always on the day then a message saying we still want to meet? How many chances would you give? Your thoughts/views on this please xx" I've not actually had anyone cancel before an arranged meet, but I have been stood up at the location on two occasions, which is worse, and they don't get a second chance | |||
"With most of my meets while I'm away in business in hotels I try to arrange them about a week before the meeting date. I will always message on the morning of the meet to double check if we still are meeting but sometimes I get a message back saying they have made other plans as they haven't heard from me in a week! But on the other hand should you message then everyday asking if we are still meeting and start to become a pest?!? You must of have conversations to get to the meeting point, so why do you let these conversations drop? Surely the build up to the meet is part of the meet?
You're right and that is what I do but still you don't want to come across as a pest as I'm sure girls are constantly pestered with messages about meets"Except you've actually arranged a meet with her. I personally class the guy I've arranged a meet with, priority over any other message I may receive. Keeping in touch saying hi, is the least you can do and her to you too. For me I'd consider that the considerate thing to do towards each other. | |||
"With most of my meets while I'm away in business in hotels I try to arrange them about a week before the meeting date. I will always message on the morning of the meet to double check if we still are meeting but sometimes I get a message back saying they have made other plans as they haven't heard from me in a week! But on the other hand should you message then everyday asking if we are still meeting and start to become a pest?!? You must of have conversations to get to the meeting point, so why do you let these conversations drop? Surely the build up to the meet is part of the meet?
You're right and that is what I do but still you don't want to come across as a pest as I'm sure girls are constantly pestered with messages about meets
Except you've actually arranged a meet with her. I personally class the guy I've arranged a meet with, priority over any other message I may receive. Keeping in touch saying hi, is the least you can do and her to you too. For me I'd consider that the considerate thing to do towards each other. "Totally agree but not everyone seems to think the same way, human nature I suppose!! | |||
"No chances at all unless the reason is or appears to be absolutely genuine. Certainly never more than one chance."
I think those are just 'fantasists' who love to arrange for meets but will never turn up.
As for arranging meeting earlier, I too arrange well in advance and will only confirm the day before if we're still meeting. If they don't reply, I consider it cancelled (will text them) and will arrange for a replacement.
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"As it seems to be a regular thing here, perhaps it's time to have an opposite to the veri system? If a person is "reported" say three times as a no show - then it should be noted on their profile. It's far from perfect but might stop a few?" Yeah I like that, though there would always be malicious idiots fucking it up by lying. | |||
"As it seems to be a regular thing here, perhaps it's time to have an opposite to the veri system? If a person is "reported" say three times as a no show - then it should be noted on their profile. It's far from perfect but might stop a few?" Yep, and after the first 'negative', they delete their profile and rejoin. Good idea, just not practical mate | |||
"As it seems to be a regular thing here, perhaps it's time to have an opposite to the veri system? If a person is "reported" say three times as a no show - then it should be noted on their profile. It's far from perfect but might stop a few? Yep, and after the first 'negative', they delete their profile and rejoin. Good idea, just not practical mate "Better than nothing though. If he rejoins he has to go through the trouble fo getting verified again. | |||
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"We have to arrange sitters etc ...so we prefer not to arrange meets in advance as there's always a chance our sitters may let us down . We will arrange something on the day , but always with the proviso that we are relying on the sitter turning up . More often than not , we wait till the sitter is here and then put a meet up . In six years we have never cancelled an arranged meet . We have however had plenty of arranged meets cancelled by others at the last minute , or simply that they haven't turned up at all . This is the downside of this type of site and in no way do we blame fab . There will always be those who enjoy wasting other people's time . We now arrange meets at a pub so that if they don't show we will still have a good night anyway , and the ratio of meets we have that have nothing to do with fab is now 2:1 , so fab has become less important for us in arranging meets ." I like this attitude | |||
"We have to arrange sitters etc ...so we prefer not to arrange meets in advance as there's always a chance our sitters may let us down . We will arrange something on the day , but always with the proviso that we are relying on the sitter turning up . More often than not , we wait till the sitter is here and then put a meet up . In six years we have never cancelled an arranged meet . We have however had plenty of arranged meets cancelled by others at the last minute , or simply that they haven't turned up at all . This is the downside of this type of site and in no way do we blame fab . There will always be those who enjoy wasting other people's time . We now arrange meets at a pub so that if they don't show we will still have a good night anyway , and the ratio of meets we have that have nothing to do with fab is now 2:1 , so fab has become less important for us in arranging meets . I like this attitude "Very good idea for a couple, not so good for singles though | |||
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"If it walks like a duck Quacks like a duck It's more than likely a duck " | |||
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"I used to give people the benefit of the doubt, but now have a zero-tolerance policy to being messed around - no second chances" Best way | |||
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"Have been cancelled on more than once all by single men... one cancelled 40 mins before we was due to meet... just text "bottled" But we are still interested in single men and will not let this put us off "He could have said - I am really sorry I am not coming as I am nervous At least you would off understood a bit | |||
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"I had a meet cancel on me four times which excuses each time. Bye bye not for a fifth time. " I had this with a guy but the excuses would come a few days later as he was embarrassed. But he came back on the site the other day with a new profile messaged me on here and my mobile for a meet I messaged him saying "you had your chances and YOU blew it" and he's now blocked me as if I'm in the wrong lol. | |||
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"Thinking of going with the two strikes your out way of meeting that seems fair "Yes, that at least gives them a chance to prove that it was a genuine excuse the first time. But after my experiences on here I'm afraid I don't even do that any more! | |||
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"No chances at all unless the reason is or appears to be absolutely genuine. Certainly never more than one chance." Totally agree | |||
"Why always on the day then a message saying we still want to meet? How many chances would you give? Your thoughts/views on this please xx" Never had a meet cancel on us yet. | |||
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"No chances at all unless the reason is or appears to be absolutely genuine. Certainly never more than one chance. Totally agree "Agreed unless it was someone I'd met a few times before then I'd ve more inclined to believe the excuse It does seem suspicious that the majority of people use the same 3 classic excuses 1. I'm ill 2. Relative in hospital 3. Car broken down | |||
"Why always on the day then a message saying we still want to meet? How many chances would you give? Your thoughts/views on this please xx" It would depend on the reason. Stuff happens and sometimes on the day. If it can't be helped and they let me know as soon as poss they get a second and final chance x | |||
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"i had to cancel the other day as i have a vomiting bug though what man would normally cancel on a MFFF meet at theirs unless genuine ... gutted" Or nerves got the better of him | |||
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"As it seems to be a regular thing here, perhaps it's time to have an opposite to the veri system? If a person is "reported" say three times as a no show - then it should be noted on their profile. It's far from perfect but might stop a few?" Ive been using various sites for ten years now and I've been stood up hundreds of times.... It doesn't matter which site you use, there are people who will make arrangements, plague you with messages and then not turn up.... If you're lucky you'll be given some advance notice but most don't bother. At least on here people are verified and are less likely to just 'disappear'.  | |||
"i had to cancel the other day as i have a vomiting bug though what man would normally cancel on a MFFF meet at theirs unless genuine ... gutted Or nerves got the better of him "seriously? lol one was my fb and also looking forward to it | |||
