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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My friend has been on this site for nine months and says he has had no luck with women because he is a "cuddly man". I had a look for a club for him and couldn't find anything. There are clubs for BBW's like me but no clubs for cuddly men like him. Seems like there is a gap in the market. My question to the forum is why and what can be done to help? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women are spoilt with choice so they can be picky, I would say from reading profiles cuddly men are less desirable.
The site is what you make of it, so he can still be very successful as a cuddly guy but it may also be very hard. |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"My friend has been on this site for nine months and says he has had no luck with women because he is a "cuddly man". I had a look for a club for him and couldn't find anything. There are clubs for BBW's like me but no clubs for cuddly men like him. Seems like there is a gap in the market. My question to the forum is why and what can be done to help? "
You'll need to search for BHM or Big Handsome Man. |
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Not a gap in the market more a case of supply and demand I think. The dynamic if very different for men and women. A BBW club night no doubt has plenty of interest from a wide range a men. The woman can pick and choose. I would suspect a cuddly man club night would see lots of cuddly men attending and not very many women. I doubt it would work very well and the atmosphere would probably feel wrong. Or maybe a cuddly guy meet with a stricktly controled guest list to ensure a good ratio. But of course there is only one way to find out.
I would say your friend just needs to get him self out there and socialise. Sure he'll grow his group of friends and experiance as he gets to know people. |
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There is definitely no BHM scene unless you count the gay bear scene...and not being gay or very bi that is not an attraction for me.
However there certainly are ladies of all sizes who are happy to see us big guys. I think confidence and attitude are important here. If you have the attitude "nobody will be interested because of my body" then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. |
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"There is definitely no BHM scene unless you count the gay bear scene...and not being gay or very bi that is not an attraction for me.
However there certainly are ladies of all sizes who are happy to see us big guys. I think confidence and attitude are important here. If you have the attitude "nobody will be interested because of my body" then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. "
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The biggrst problem your friend has is not the fact he is a more "cuddly" man, it's simply the fact that he is a man.
He would fare better in the club scene than on fab. Most men struggle on here regardless of their body shape because there are just so many of them.
Many women, me included, do actually prefer a man who is a bit larger. Whether you describe it as a cuddly physique, rugby build or a dad bod to me it is what floats my boat. I'm just not that attracted to an athetic build. |
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There are ladies who don't like the larger guy, and that's perfectly fine and their right.
The other huge problem is the sheer number of men here. Even a traditionally attractive, handsome guy might write 50 messages before he gets anywhere. Those of us who are bigger, might have to try even harder.
But my 13+ years on the scene have taught me that there is a place for everyone. I'm big and also quite picky...and I do fine. I use fab but also get out to clubs, I run polyamory/non-monogamy socials. Therefore I meet lots of people, get chatting and some of the ladies I meet want to take things further. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like cuddly men... that doesn't mean to say I'll like them all though. They'd still need to dress nicely, have a twinkle in their eye, make me laugh... it might not necessarily be his size that's the issue? |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
speaking as a "big unit" there are more ways that just being a big unit that people look for...
sure... you have to be pragmatic, not everyone is going to fancy you! just as you are not going to fancy everyone....
but i find in a club that talking to people and having good conversation goes a long way...... if you can make people laugh and turn on the mind.... it can go a long long way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My friend has been on this site for nine months and says he has had no luck with women because he is a "cuddly man". I had a look for a club for him and couldn't find anything. There are clubs for BBW's like me but no clubs for cuddly men like him. Seems like there is a gap in the market. My question to the forum is why and what can be done to help? "
He not the only one on here not having any luck there loads of men but most are shy to speak out  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cuddly can mean many things. I like a guy very well built and carrying a few extra pounds is ok but obese to me is someone around 17stone who is 6ft. I think it's always best to put recent body pics on to show your exact build |
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Cuddly or other descriptors can mean different things. For example I have a big belly but thin, muscular legs. Someone else of my height and weight might look very different...hence a couple of full pics on my profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cuddly can mean many things. I like a guy very well built and carrying a few extra pounds is ok but obese to me is someone around 17stone who is 6ft. I think it's always best to put recent body pics on to show your exact build"
Agreed - just straightforward full length body shots that someone else took so its not angled to distort shape and defo not photoshopped. Anything else will just lead to possibly disappointment on a meet but definitely a feeling of being deceived. Ive faced that myself over someones age and 20 year old pics x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like cuddly men to have sex with, if they can hold their weight off of my painful body, and I can get my hips open enough to straddle them.
I don't want to be on my knees the whole time, or sucking, because he can't do anything else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are a lot fewer women on here, which means they have their pick of men.
So stands to reason that they are going to pick the more attractive men. Unfortunately dad bods arnt really that hot. |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"There is definitely no BHM scene unless you count the gay bear scene...
Really?
If you know of a BHM scene, I am sure many men would love to know."
I haven't looked properly but I just did a quick qoogle and there was loads of info. I know there has been parties in the past but I don't know if they still run. This is all vanilla as opposed to swinging by the way. |
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"There is definitely no BHM scene unless you count the gay bear scene...
Really?
If you know of a BHM scene, I am sure many men would love to know.
I haven't looked properly but I just did a quick qoogle and there was loads of info. I know there has been parties in the past but I don't know if they still run. This is all vanilla as opposed to swinging by the way."
I am aware of nothing in the UK. I've been part of the BBW and size acceptance scene for some 20 years. A couple of attempts were made about 10 years ago but never got off the ground.
If you know of something, please do share. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My friend has been on this site for nine months and says he has had no luck with women because he is a "cuddly man". I had a look for a club for him and couldn't find anything. There are clubs for BBW's like me but no clubs for cuddly men like him. Seems like there is a gap in the market. My question to the forum is why and what can be done to help?
You'll need to search for BHM or Big Handsome Man. "
What happens if you're a BUM? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm on the larger side (5'10" & 15st). I'd prefer to be less heavy, but apart from the obvious profiles asking for slim/fit only, I've had fairly positive response to my body type. Especially from other blokes.
I think if you're confident most people see that and respond to it more than your physique. |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"I'm on the larger side (5'10" & 15st). I'd prefer to be less heavy, but apart from the obvious profiles asking for slim/fit only, I've had fairly positive response to my body type. Especially from other blokes.
I think if you're confident most people see that and respond to it more than your physique. "
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