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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is it just me or does anyone else find that people always say they respect boundaries until it's actually time to respect the boundaries??
Had organised to meet an amazing couple tonight but had to state 4 times I don't do anal and 3 times I don't bareback.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just me or does anyone else find that people always say they respect boundaries until it's actually time to respect the boundaries??
Had organised to meet an amazing couple tonight but had to state 4 times I don't do anal and 3 times I don't bareback.
"
Really you shouldn't need to state boundaries more than once. More than anything else they should be what prospective 'friends' should listen to first. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If we had to state it more than once, we wouldn't be meeting them."
Yeah I cancelled the meet and just said I'm obviously not the girl for them. I'm just annoyed cause I was actually really looking forward to it as I've never been with a couple before |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If we had to state it more than once, we wouldn't be meeting them.
Yeah I cancelled the meet and just said I'm obviously not the girl for them. I'm just annoyed cause I was actually really looking forward to it as I've never been with a couple before "
good for you. I'm sure others will come along who will respect your choices. at least you found out prior to meeting. I imagine they saw them more as guidelines than policy... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If we had to state it more than once, we wouldn't be meeting them.
Yeah I cancelled the meet and just said I'm obviously not the girl for them. I'm just annoyed cause I was actually really looking forward to it as I've never been with a couple before "
It is annoying, but perhaps lucky you found out before actually meeting them.
We've had that happen to us during a meet, and that was awkward when we stopped play  |
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"If we had to state it more than once, we wouldn't be meeting them.
Yeah I cancelled the meet and just said I'm obviously not the girl for them. I'm just annoyed cause I was actually really looking forward to it as I've never been with a couple before "
Sadly some folk just think its all about their desires  |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
i've only ever had vanilla sex, basically oral and normal sex, off here coz that's the easiest way to get sex.
if i even had to arrange anything that needed boundaries i wouldn't have met anyone as not many give me the time needed for trust. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have boundaries. I have things I will do, things I won't do and thing I might do depending on who I'm with and how turned on I am. I tell people not to expect anything or assume anything in particular will happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP it's not just you, but it Is fraustrating!
Maybe it's for the best on this occasion- look on it as a bullet dodged?
For me it's the time wasting element when it turns out you aren't compatible and have to go back to brass tacks x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have boundaries. I have things I will do, things I won't do and thing I might do depending on who I'm with and how turned on I am. I tell people not to expect anything or assume anything in particular will happen. "
I think those still qualify as boundaries, even if they do change on any given situation?
We are very similar in that respect, we guarantee nothing and expect nothing, but any ignorance to something we're not comfortable with, we would still consider it a boundary, and still consider it crossed if not respected. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i've only ever had vanilla sex, basically oral and normal sex, off here coz that's the easiest way to get sex.
if i even had to arrange anything that needed boundaries i wouldn't have met anyone as not many give me the time needed for trust."
I'm actually starting to think this maybe the easier option, I've taken anal off my profile because I got sick of people thinking cause it's there I am going to do it with every man and his dog! |
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"If we had to state it more than once, we wouldn't be meeting them.
Yeah I cancelled the meet and just said I'm obviously not the girl for them. I'm just annoyed cause I was actually really looking forward to it as I've never been with a couple before "
Well done you ! Gut instinct tells me that they may have pushed for it and not nice when you are the third person on your own ... you will find your perfect couple meet I'm sure  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all your comments. It's nice to know that I wasn't overreacting by cancelling the meet at such short notice. Just glad the conversation happened before hand and not in the heat of the moment |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"i've only ever had vanilla sex, basically oral and normal sex, off here coz that's the easiest way to get sex.
if i even had to arrange anything that needed boundaries i wouldn't have met anyone as not many give me the time needed for trust.
I'm actually starting to think this maybe the easier option, I've taken anal off my profile because I got sick of people thinking cause it's there I am going to do it with every man and his dog!"
yeah i took WS off mine pretty quickly due to the messages i got. and domme outta my profile coz it appeals to a wide range of what people want and they probably are not even be compatible with you.
think that's why 3sums appealed to me a lot coz, although i do like vanilla sex, i like sex that's more than just oral and sex and 3sums are about as risky/kinky as you can get with people who don't know your sexual needs that well, and at least if one of them is shit in bed the other probably won't be.
i've had my best meets by pretty much only describing in my profile blurb what i actually wanted at the time (i changed my profile often coz what i want changes often). so being very specific helps but also gives them a way to trick you into thinking you will get what you want from them (a few minutes talking gives you an idea of if they're talking shit though usually).
also, from what i've noticed is that most men tend to get carried away easily, just a hint of you like what they are looking for and they think you're perfect for them. so they approach you and then you end up disappointed coz they haven't really thought it through or bothered to approach you beforehand to get to know you and outright expect a specific sexual act without even considering if you even want to do that with them, or even want to do it that particular meet.
idk, it's hard to get what you actually want because people aren't prepared to put in the investment needed, so vanilla sex is easy enough to get. i find it very unfulfilling now to just meet a guy i don't know and fuck him, and as it was supposed to be a stop gap for me until i found what i wanted i knew this would happen but i've not found what i wanted still so i'd rather do without now and just concentrate on other things. not saying you should do that, i'm just trying to work stuff out myself really and this place just leaves me floating around thinking wtf most of the time. 
where are the men who don't talk shit to us just to get their dick wet? who want to get to know us and put us at ease so we will cum with them when they fuck us, and want regular sex? very rare indeed. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Is it just me or does anyone else find that people always say they respect boundaries until it's actually time to respect the boundaries??
Had organised to meet an amazing couple tonight but had to state 4 times I don't do anal and 3 times I don't bareback.
"
We've had this in the past. A couple wanted us to go separate rooms, we told them that was out of the question, but they kept on about it, so we just said we weren't compatible with each other. Well done OP!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i've only ever had vanilla sex, basically oral and normal sex, off here coz that's the easiest way to get sex.
if i even had to arrange anything that needed boundaries i wouldn't have met anyone as not many give me the time needed for trust.
I'm actually starting to think this maybe the easier option, I've taken anal off my profile because I got sick of people thinking cause it's there I am going to do it with every man and his dog!
yeah i took WS off mine pretty quickly due to the messages i got. and domme outta my profile coz it appeals to a wide range of what people want and they probably are not even be compatible with you.
think that's why 3sums appealed to me a lot coz, although i do like vanilla sex, i like sex that's more than just oral and sex and 3sums are about as risky/kinky as you can get with people who don't know your sexual needs that well, and at least if one of them is shit in bed the other probably won't be.
i've had my best meets by pretty much only describing in my profile blurb what i actually wanted at the time (i changed my profile often coz what i want changes often). so being very specific helps but also gives them a way to trick you into thinking you will get what you want from them (a few minutes talking gives you an idea of if they're talking shit though usually).
also, from what i've noticed is that most men tend to get carried away easily, just a hint of you like what they are looking for and they think you're perfect for them. so they approach you and then you end up disappointed coz they haven't really thought it through or bothered to approach you beforehand to get to know you and outright expect a specific sexual act without even considering if you even want to do that with them, or even want to do it that particular meet.
idk, it's hard to get what you actually want because people aren't prepared to put in the investment needed, so vanilla sex is easy enough to get. i find it very unfulfilling now to just meet a guy i don't know and fuck him, and as it was supposed to be a stop gap for me until i found what i wanted i knew this would happen but i've not found what i wanted still so i'd rather do without now and just concentrate on other things. not saying you should do that, i'm just trying to work stuff out myself really and this place just leaves me floating around thinking wtf most of the time.
where are the men who don't talk shit to us just to get their dick wet? who want to get to know us and put us at ease so we will cum with them when they fuck us, and want regular sex? very rare indeed."
The men on here have put me right off sex!!! |
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Standard rule for us, if we have to explain our boundaries more than once we don't bother.
If they cant accept rules off the start then they are a risk in the flesh...this might sound selfish but we are here for our fun and if people cannot respect what we like and dont like they can find someone else 
Boo x |
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"Is it just me or does anyone else find that people always say they respect boundaries until it's actually time to respect the boundaries??
Had organised to meet an amazing couple tonight but had to state 4 times I don't do anal and 3 times I don't bareback.
We've had this in the past. A couple wanted us to go separate rooms, we told them that was out of the question, but they kept on about it, so we just said we weren't compatible with each other. Well done OP! "
We had the same. Another couple kept insisting on separate rooms in spite of us saying it was not something that interested us.
Eventually we just had to say they weren't for us. That got us an abusive response and a block. It saved us the bother. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Plenty more choice in fab land, go for people who are compatible, avoid the "pushing people's boundaries" and we are sure you will do just fine, we wouldn't entertain anyone who keep harping on about play that wasn't for us, told once after that a block (maybe that's why our block list is so long)
We wish you luck in your search  xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Standard rule for us, if we have to explain our boundaries more than once we don't bother.
If they cant accept rules off the start then they are a risk in the flesh...this might sound selfish but we are here for our fun and if people cannot respect what we like and dont like they can find someone else
Boo x"
We feel the same, if you can't be respectful and take no for an answer online how are you going to be in person when things start to heat up? |
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By *ell..Woman
over a year ago
yep live near one of those |
"If we had to state it more than once, we wouldn't be meeting them.
Yeah I cancelled the meet and just said I'm obviously not the girl for them. I'm just annoyed cause I was actually really looking forward to it as I've never been with a couple before
It is annoying, but perhaps lucky you found out before actually meeting them.
We've had that happen to us during a meet, and that was awkward when we stopped play "
Ive also had it happen to me and despite all the talk before hand the male tried it on and yes it is awkward and play stopped. As soon as I was home I logged in and blocked them. I wasn't going there again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The men on here have put me right off sex!!!
It was the female half that was being pushy not the male  "
Yikes! I've had that too from a couple. I didn't meet them. x |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Is it just me or does anyone else find that people always say they respect boundaries until it's actually time to respect the boundaries??
Had organised to meet an amazing couple tonight but had to state 4 times I don't do anal and 3 times I don't bareback.
We've had this in the past. A couple wanted us to go separate rooms, we told them that was out of the question, but they kept on about it, so we just said we weren't compatible with each other. Well done OP!
We had the same. Another couple kept insisting on separate rooms in spite of us saying it was not something that interested us.
Eventually we just had to say they weren't for us. That got us an abusive response and a block. It saved us the bother. Lol"
Thank goodness you didn't meet them then. Often these people are experienced in the lifestyle, you would think they would know better! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They sound like a horrible couple anyway, I can't imagine they would have much respect for anyone if they were like that.
You were right to cancel I think!
H xx |
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