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By *wcw OP Couple
over a year ago
cheshire |
Why is it that most guys message with. Just a. Hi there. Or howz it going ,,,,,, or fancy a meet. Or something else as dull. Please write something so we can answer to. Carnt be that hard. It is good to chat sometimes. Realy doznt say much for a social meet first. Then wotever follows. ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The majority of woman on here a just as bad as the men of j would say a lot worse just a hi in a first message,, no face pic included, no profile bio or just the one line. I know it's a woman's market but it's no excuse, it's ust, lazy, gives a bloke very little to go at too especially if we send a first message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a great believer in get out what you put in.
I hear where you're coming from OP, but also what Lickability is saying.
For example I wouldn't put any significant effort into messaging a profile that had no public pics and very little to 'hook' me in terms of text. How can I construct a personal and pertinent message if there's nothing to go on? At best I could send a more detailed copy and paste effort.
But on the flip side I've seen some ladies inboxes on here (not an euphemism!  ) and the standard of some messages they get I'm not surprised the guys never get a response!
As I say, get out what you put in. If there's no effort put in, don't expect any effort in return on both sides of the messaging equation! |
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"Take your profile as a typical example no pic and 3 lines so j don't know how you have the cheek to complain!!!"
That's a very good point,beside's "How are you?" is a pretty good starting point I think. |
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"As you can imagine it's very hard work for single guys on here and 90% of our messages get ignored so putting too much effort in seems waste of time "
It is hard work for the single guys on here but the more successful ones are those who make the effort.
If you're not willing to invest the time then you are unlikely to see any results.
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It's all well and good people saying they want an interesting first message,but sometimes guys message so much females/couples then it just gets very tedious and disheartening. So they start to give up and just send very mundane first messages bcz of the lack of response from a thought out message. |
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"As you can imagine it's very hard work for single guys on here and 90% of our messages get ignored so putting too much effort in seems waste of time
It is hard work for the single guys on here but the more successful ones are those who make the effort.
If you're not willing to invest the time then you are unlikely to see any results.
"
Not entirely true but I see where you're coming from. Let's be honest if a guy goes up to a lady in a club etc..you do say hi,how are you..not quite sure why that really wouldn't suffice?. Sure if you get a 100 messages like this it'd drive you mad but that's me..im not going to pretend to be something I'm not because I'm on a site. People say be yourself yeah..but they don't actually mean it  . Just my opinion  |
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I think some people start a conversation on here the same way they would if they were out and about, for example in a bar. In their mind, they are about to 'chat someone up' and as such they start the same way as they normally do, by saying for example 'hey, how's things?'
That being said, we tend to write more detail in our initial messaging to give an insight into us as a couple. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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they've approached you and are seemingly interested (if they aren't just spamming the local area) so why can't you be the one who starts the conversation after this?
don't expect anyone much to make an effort for you, most people are only after a quick fuck and not much else and they can always move on to someone easier than you. |
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"As you can imagine it's very hard work for single guys on here and 90% of our messages get ignored so putting too much effort in seems waste of time
It is hard work for the single guys on here but the more successful ones are those who make the effort.
If you're not willing to invest the time then you are unlikely to see any results.
Not entirely true but I see where you're coming from. Let's be honest if a guy goes up to a lady in a club etc..you do say hi,how are you..not quite sure why that really wouldn't suffice?. Sure if you get a 100 messages like this it'd drive you mad but that's me..im not going to pretend to be something I'm not because I'm on a site. People say be yourself yeah..but they don't actually mean it . Just my opinion "
Approaching someone in a club is entirely different though. Saying "hi, how are you" is often enough to start a conversation because you have more than just the words. There is all manner of non-verbal communication happening at the same time. Body language, a smile, that cheeky little glint in the eye just can't be communicated through the same words typed into a message on here.
On here all you have are the words you type, you don't have any non-verbal communication so you have to make the most of what you do have. |
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Probably because they message hundreds everyday and working on percentages they hope to get a couple or replies !!
Personally I find it better to actually read a profile and see if you would tick each other's boxes and I go days and days sometimes without sending any !
But it's definitely not just single guys that do this I just delete the message if no effort is put in as I think it's a clear reflection of the approach they have on here !
But that could be the reason I've only had 1 meet so far  |
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