FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Bisexuality
Bisexuality
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why does it appear that there is a stigma surrounding bi men.
I myself am curious and a message I've just received was a little harsh imo. Feels like it's a no win situation if you declare it or if you don't. |
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Lots of guys hide it on here as lots of couples and women won't meet bi guys, saying the disease risk is slightly higher or they're blood donors or they find bi guys less masculine and a bit of a turn off as a result. There's a lot of these threads which usually boil down to one side saying that the other side is homophobic and the other side saying it's our choice who we play with and everyone has "preferences" |
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"Yeah I maybe should of used the search feature first. Just wanted to get opinions on the matter. Horses for courses"
I did my best to condense several months of arguing on here into one, easy to swallow post, just for you, lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really dont get some swingers and how judgemental they are.
For me swinging is about exploring your kinks, we all have them. Just because it might not be your kink there is just no need to send crappy messages and polite thanks but its just not for me will suffice.
Unless it specifically states on their profile not into..... then how are you to know?
I had a mmmmf at the weekend and the guy who organised it got so much grief off a woman hed never met. Just boils my piss  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tbh who really cares what people think? each to their own fuck who you want when you want it makes no difference to my life some people just like getting on their high horse for no good reason  |
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By *hoot45Man
over a year ago
Ramsgate |
Most of my meets are with bi guys - I seem to click with them. Some don't put bi on their profiles, but I'm fine with that as they will have their reasons. I don't usually make first contact with a guy who says he's straight and some have a block on guys contacting them anyway. From my own experience bi guys tend to be a bit raunchier with other guys and I've always put this down to their not having so many opportunities to me guys, particularly if they have a female partner. I sometimes wonder if there are bi guys who have male partners and seek fun with women - there must be some around. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is fab guys still going? I've never understood why so many are on here when they seem to just be looking for 'cock' (their words not mine).
I get it if they are bi and in a couple situation and want to play with other bi couples for a full experience. Singletons on here simply looking for blokes though, I don't get, especially when there's a ready made market, for want of a better word, in Fab guys - agian if it still exists.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is fab guys still going? I've never understood why so many are on here when they seem to just be looking for 'cock' (their words not mine).
I get it if they are bi and in a couple situation and want to play with other bi couples for a full experience. Singletons on here simply looking for blokes though, I don't get, especially when there's a ready made market, for want of a better word, in Fab guys - agian if it still exists.
"
Some bisexual men want to meet women.
I know, I know - men meeting women for sex! Whatever next... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As I said, those in couples I get. I also appreciate some single guys will also be looking for women too.
However, there is still a huge amount who just seem to want the bi experience in here. Especially from status updates.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We like Bi guys, we are both Bi but we tend to ignore messages from straights who announce secretly they're Bi only because in our experience (not just opinion) they tend to be either very inexperienced or mostly straight and willing to suck a cock in order to get a ride on a lady.
I hate the stigma around Bi men. As a Bi woman I get a lot of attention from other couples but my partner will be refused by the same couples because he's a bi man and they would rather I bring a straight man along to play.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've no stigma about bi guys, far from it. Happy to meet in a group situation but not solo. My point was that if that's what they seek most, why here rather than a site specifically for that?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of guys hide it on here as lots of couples and women won't meet bi guys, saying the disease risk is slightly higher or they're blood donors or they find bi guys less masculine and a bit of a turn off as a result. There's a lot of these threads which usually boil down to one side saying that the other side is homophobic and the other side saying it's our choice who we play with and everyone has "preferences""
In our experience all bisexual people make better swingers. We maybe bias, but as long as you play safe and get regular testing we don't buy the whole increased risk argument. In fact straight people who do not practice safe sex are far more risky. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate the stigma at least im honest about my sexuality unlike alot of so called straight guys on here xx And yes i do meet and have met women too!"
We have an inordinate number of *straight* guys coming to our events. |
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"Hate the stigma at least im honest about my sexuality unlike alot of so called straight guys on here xx And yes i do meet and have met women too!
We have an inordinate number of *straight* guys coming to our events. "
Yep who are anything but straight i still believe we are all born bisexual and only become who we are through upbringing mainly xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I said, those in couples I get. I also appreciate some single guys will also be looking for women too.
However, there is still a huge amount who just seem to want the bi experience in here. Especially from status updates.
"
No, I'm not talking about couples.
There are plenty of bisexual men who want to meet women or couples too. So they should be here, not on fabguys (or on both).
Women like me want to meet bisexual men. We can't have profiles on fabguys. There's no point in a guy who is bisexual only having profiles on gay sites, because then he wouldn't meet women. |
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"As I said, those in couples I get. I also appreciate some single guys will also be looking for women too.
However, there is still a huge amount who just seem to want the bi experience in here. Especially from status updates.
No, I'm not talking about couples.
There are plenty of bisexual men who want to meet women or couples too. So they should be here, not on fabguys (or on both).
Women like me want to meet bisexual men. We can't have profiles on fabguys. There's no point in a guy who is bisexual only having profiles on gay sites, because then he wouldn't meet women."
Well said plus not some bi men like me meet more women than men because of preference but still like to meet guys or ts from time to time when mood takes us xx |
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"Why does it appear that there is a stigma surrounding bi men.
I myself am curious and a message I've just received was a little harsh imo. Feels like it's a no win situation if you declare it or if you don't. "
Stuff those who have a problem with it and just concentrate on those that do like bi men. Never hide it either it make's it difficult for people to find you,then you miss out big time! |
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"We like Bi guys, we are both Bi but we tend to ignore messages from straights who announce secretly they're Bi only because in our experience (not just opinion) they tend to be either very inexperienced or mostly straight and willing to suck a cock in order to get a ride on a lady.
I hate the stigma around Bi men. As a Bi woman I get a lot of attention from other couples but my partner will be refused by the same couples because he's a bi man and they would rather I bring a straight man along to play.
"
This.. . All of this.
With us, we both like to play each way. . Bi guys and Bi couples are our fave.
Only issue we have is that we both need to fancy the person I. Question and that can be difficult depending on the mood were in. 
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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
I don't understand the stigma. I prefer a bi guy sometimes as they're far more relaxed in their attitudes towards sex. My best friend is on fab guys, he says a lot of 'straight' men are too.
As long as you play safe, get tested regularly and have fun with consensual adults who cares.
Hopefully the stigma will lessen with time x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is fab guys still going? I've never understood why so many are on here when they seem to just be looking for 'cock' (their words not mine).
I get it if they are bi and in a couple situation and want to play with other bi couples for a full experience. Singletons on here simply looking for blokes though, I don't get, especially when there's a ready made market, for want of a better word, in Fab guys - agian if it still exists.
"
Admittedly yes, I would like the bi experience. But for me that would involve a guy and gal. Unfortunately fabguys does not offer guy/gal profiles. I would know where to look if it was only "cock" I was looking for.
I understand everyone has a preference and are fully entitled to say what they are looking for but how can a bi woman say a bi man is dirty?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't understand the stigma. I prefer a bi guy sometimes as they're far more relaxed in their attitudes towards sex. My best friend is on fab guys, he says a lot of 'straight' men are too.
As long as you play safe, get tested regularly and have fun with consensual adults who cares.
Hopefully the stigma will lessen with time x"
 |
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"Hate the stigma at least im honest about my sexuality unlike alot of so called straight guys on here xx And yes i do meet and have met women too!
We have an inordinate number of *straight* guys coming to our events.
Yep who are anything but straight i still believe we are all born bisexual and only become who we are through upbringing mainly xx"
Well I don't agree with that. I don't have one bit of attraction toward's women whatsoever and I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with my upbringing  |
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"Hate the stigma at least im honest about my sexuality unlike alot of so called straight guys on here xx And yes i do meet and have met women too!
We have an inordinate number of *straight* guys coming to our events.
Yep who are anything but straight i still believe we are all born bisexual and only become who we are through upbringing mainly xx
Well I don't agree with that. I don't have one bit of attraction toward's women whatsoever and I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with my upbringing "
Besides I have 2 daughters 1 straight 1 lesbian explain that one,both brought up the same! |
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Personally i think it comes down to....and forgive me saying this but the bloke being "a manly man"
I couldnt care about things like sexuality in a bloke and neither does boo....im not bi but as long as everyone talks its not an issue, we can all have fun and a top night
For us swinging isnt just about sex its about meeting amazing people with amazing lives and sharing it with them for one meet or maybe more! More love, less fear and just enjoy
Dax |
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"Hate the stigma at least im honest about my sexuality unlike alot of so called straight guys on here xx And yes i do meet and have met women too!
We have an inordinate number of *straight* guys coming to our events.
Yep who are anything but straight i still believe we are all born bisexual and only become who we are through upbringing mainly xx
Well I don't agree with that. I don't have one bit of attraction toward's women whatsoever and I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with my upbringing
Besides I have 2 daughters 1 straight 1 lesbian explain that one,both brought up the same!"
Ok i stand corrected but just saying maybe bisexual is our factory setting and it changes over time as we grow xx |
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Yep who are anything but straight i still believe we are all born bisexual and only become who we are through upbringing mainly xx
Well I don't agree with that. I don't have one bit of attraction toward's women whatsoever and I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with my upbringing
Besides I have 2 daughters 1 straight 1 lesbian explain that one,both brought up the same!
Ok i stand corrected but just saying maybe bisexual is our factory setting and it changes over time as we grow xx"
Maybe,but I personally don't think so |
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Yep who are anything but straight i still believe we are all born bisexual and only become who we are through upbringing mainly xx
Well I don't agree with that. I don't have one bit of attraction toward's women whatsoever and I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with my upbringing
Besides I have 2 daughters 1 straight 1 lesbian explain that one,both brought up the same!
Ok i stand corrected but just saying maybe bisexual is our factory setting and it changes over time as we grow xx
Maybe,but I personally don't think so "
No problem everyone has there opinions agree to disagree and all that |
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"Lots of guys hide it on here as lots of couples and women won't meet bi guys, saying the disease risk is slightly higher or they're blood donors or they find bi guys less masculine and a bit of a turn off as a result. There's a lot of these threads which usually boil down to one side saying that the other side is homophobic and the other side saying it's our choice who we play with and everyone has "preferences""
Pretty much a perfect summary of a debate that happens every week on fab! |
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"Hate the stigma at least im honest about my sexuality unlike alot of so called straight guys on here xx And yes i do meet and have met women too!
We have an inordinate number of *straight* guys coming to our events.
Yep who are anything but straight i still believe we are all born bisexual and only become who we are through upbringing mainly xx"
You are welcome to believe what you like but there's no scientific consensus that sexuality is determined at birth. |
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Nature or nurture..this discussion has been around a while.I think it's a bit of both.
I think what's happening is we are moving away from the notion that we live in a world where sexuality (& gender) come in only two forms..
Takes people awhile to adjust..work with what you have, it is what it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I understand everyone has a preference and are fully entitled to say what they are looking for but how can a bi woman say a bi man is dirty?
"
I've noticed this is particularly a thing amongst 40+.
There was a lot of misinformation and horror stories about what HIV and Aids actually is back in the 80's, which I suspect it's related to. Logically, it's actually not the case - While Gay/Bi guys are statistically more likely to have HIV (Is this actually still even true? PReP seems to have dented the numbers massively in the last few years) they are also, in my experience, much less likely to get caught up in the moment and do things unprotected. Any promiscuous people, like swingers, who don't play safe are the real high risk group.
Still, it's not about statistics, it's about messages internalised from reading The Sun in 1983. There's also the 'Gay couples aren't manly' cliche, which is just straight up homophobia and goes back to the beginning of time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I said, those in couples I get. I also appreciate some single guys will also be looking for women too.
However, there is still a huge amount who just seem to want the bi experience in here. Especially from status updates.
No, I'm not talking about couples.
There are plenty of bisexual men who want to meet women or couples too. So they should be here, not on fabguys (or on both).
Women like me want to meet bisexual men. We can't have profiles on fabguys. There's no point in a guy who is bisexual only having profiles on gay sites, because then he wouldn't meet women."
I get what your saying. The people I'm taking about are the ones who never seem to be looking for women. Just 'cock' and to get a 'load' etc There is a lot of those.
Just out of curiosity, what is the reason for wishing to meet Bi Guys specifically?
Be like me meeting a bi girl, which to my mind would be like just meeting a non-bi one.
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Ok i stand corrected but just saying maybe bisexual is our factory setting and it changes over time as we grow xx
Maybe,but I personally don't think so
No problem everyone has there opinions agree to disagree and all that "
Most definitely |
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"Hate the stigma at least im honest about my sexuality unlike alot of so called straight guys on here xx And yes i do meet and have met women too!
We have an inordinate number of *straight* guys coming to our events.
Yep who are anything but straight i still believe we are all born bisexual and only become who we are through upbringing mainly xx
You are welcome to believe what you like but there's no scientific consensus that sexuality is determined at birth. "
True theres no scientific evidence but i like to think things are not black and white ethier but a multicoloured spectrum and you dertermine where you fit on it depending on how you are as an individual |
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"Personally i think it comes down to....and forgive me saying this but the bloke being "a manly man"
I couldnt care about things like sexuality in a bloke and neither does boo....im not bi but as long as everyone talks its not an issue, we can all have fun and a top night
For us swinging isnt just about sex its about meeting amazing people with amazing lives and sharing it with them for one meet or maybe more! More love, less fear and just enjoy
Dax "
I can understand this since i dont find masculine traits in women to be attractive. But i would challenge you on the implication bi guys are less manly. Firstly, most cock sucking guys call themselves straight anyway so the manly men you think are straight often whistle dicks in private. Second, i'd accept that the mean bi guy is probably more camp than the mean straight guy but i'd dispute that you'd see a difference at the median. |
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"Hate the stigma at least im honest about my sexuality unlike alot of so called straight guys on here xx And yes i do meet and have met women too!
We have an inordinate number of *straight* guys coming to our events.
Yep who are anything but straight i still believe we are all born bisexual and only become who we are through upbringing mainly xx
You are welcome to believe what you like but there's no scientific consensus that sexuality is determined at birth.
True theres no scientific evidence but i like to think things are not black and white ethier but a multicoloured spectrum and you dertermine where you fit on it depending on how you are as an individual "
Hence why you are welcome to believe what you like. It's one of those questions that will probably never be resolved because the answer (either way) would be unpalatable to an interest group. |
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"Hate the stigma at least im honest about my sexuality unlike alot of so called straight guys on here xx And yes i do meet and have met women too!
We have an inordinate number of *straight* guys coming to our events.
Yep who are anything but straight i still believe we are all born bisexual and only become who we are through upbringing mainly xx
You are welcome to believe what you like but there's no scientific consensus that sexuality is determined at birth.
True theres no scientific evidence but i like to think things are not black and white ethier but a multicoloured spectrum and you dertermine where you fit on it depending on how you are as an individual
Hence why you are welcome to believe what you like. It's one of those questions that will probably never be resolved because the answer (either way) would be unpalatable to an interest group."
Yeah very true i guess. |
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We dont meet bi men or bi men in a couple just our preference it dosent float our boat nowt against them. my brother is gay, and me and my partner go on many nites out with him on and off the gay scene think its just people prefrence but i think they could tell them in a nicer way that it isnt there thing |
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"We dont meet bi men or bi men in a couple just our preference it dosent float our boat nowt against them. my brother is gay, and me and my partner go on many nites out with him on and off the gay scene think its just people prefrence but i think they could tell them in a nicer way that it isnt there thing"
How do you assertain whether the male half of a couple is bi? |
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"We dont meet bi men or bi men in a couple just our preference it dosent float our boat nowt against them. my brother is gay, and me and my partner go on many nites out with him on and off the gay scene think its just people prefrence but i think they could tell them in a nicer way that it isnt there thing"
You may have done unknowingly already as has been said so many don't display it on their profiles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally i think it comes down to....and forgive me saying this but the bloke being "a manly man"
"
A few months ago I met, for casual sex, a bricklayer. His hobby was powerlifting (that's how I came into contact with him - through a powerlifting gym). He had a shaved head, liked drinking lager when we went out, and loved a nice ass.
He also liked playing with cock.
Still think he's more masculine than more blokes. |
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"We dont meet bi men or bi men in a couple just our preference it dosent float our boat nowt against them. my brother is gay, and me and my partner go on many nites out with him on and off the gay scene think its just people prefrence but i think they could tell them in a nicer way that it isnt there thing
How do you assertain whether the male half of a couple is bi? "
You can't...lots of us think we are having sex with straight(albeit fabstr8) blokes, when in fact they are bi! |
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"Personally i think it comes down to....and forgive me saying this but the bloke being "a manly man"
A few months ago I met, for casual sex, a bricklayer. His hobby was powerlifting (that's how I came into contact with him - through a powerlifting gym). He had a shaved head, liked drinking lager when we went out, and loved a nice ass.
He also liked playing with cock.
Still think he's more masculine than more blokes."
Seems like we are in danger of stereotyping here...i.e shaved head/powerlifter/bricklayer/drinkspints of lager(not babycham!)
equals straight man.
Or is this what the bi.phobia thing is about, the attraction of the alpha male?
Alpha male doesn't have to be heterosexual |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well, if it helps in any way to balance things the other way, I'd much prefer to meet bi men than straight...
Bi men are easier company, and generally seem to be more understanding and sexually sensitive lovers in my experience.
I would love it if there were a filter on here to sift out straight people!
(I bet that I get flack for that!)
|
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"We dont meet bi men or bi men in a couple just our preference it dosent float our boat nowt against them. my brother is gay, and me and my partner go on many nites out with him on and off the gay scene think its just people prefrence but i think they could tell them in a nicer way that it isnt there
How do you assertain whether the male half of a couple is bi? "
If it says in the profile i suppose they could lie about it and we wouldent know eithier way |
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"Well, if it helps in any way to balance things the other way, I'd much prefer to meet bi men than straight...
Bi men are easier company, and generally seem to be more understanding and sexually sensitive lovers in my experience.
I would love it if there were a filter on here to sift out straight people!
(I bet that I get flack for that!)
"
I dont think you will get much flack and yeah us bi guys are more sensitive to our sexual partners needs than most and non judgemental ive had that said to me and respectful as well than some straight guys they met so must be something in it x |
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"We dont meet bi men or bi men in a couple just our preference it dosent float our boat nowt against them. my brother is gay, and me and my partner go on many nites out with him on and off the gay scene think its just people prefrence but i think they could tell them in a nicer way that it isnt there
How do you assertain whether the male half of a couple is bi?
If it says in the profile i suppose they could lie about it and we wouldent know eithier way"
Would it bother you if you met a nice couple in a club, played with them and then found out later the husband was bi? |
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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"Well, if it helps in any way to balance things the other way, I'd much prefer to meet bi men than straight...
Bi men are easier company, and generally seem to be more understanding and sexually sensitive lovers in my experience.
I would love it if there were a filter on here to sift out straight people!
(I bet that I get flack for that!)
"
Hahaha made me giggle. ...I'm sure there's a bi drop down box in the advanced search  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I would love it if there were a filter on here to sift out straight people!
(I bet that I get flack for that!)
Hahaha made me giggle. ...I'm sure there's a bi drop down box in the advanced search "
Yes, you can filter bi people into your searches, but that doesn't filter in gay/lesbian people, or block straight people from messaging you...
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma.
Evolution? "
Yes. Some people are thicker than two short planks. |
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"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma.
Evolution?
Yes. Some people are thicker than two short planks."
Thick people are more likely to homophobic? |
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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"
I would love it if there were a filter on here to sift out straight people!
(I bet that I get flack for that!)
Hahaha made me giggle. ...I'm sure there's a bi drop down box in the advanced search
Yes, you can filter bi people into your searches, but that doesn't filter in gay/lesbian people, or block straight people from messaging you...
"
Aaah fair enough I'll just keep perving on all then |
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"I really dont get some swingers and how judgemental they are.
For me swinging is about exploring your kinks, we all have them. Just because it might not be your kink there is just no need to send crappy messages and polite thanks but its just not for me will suffice.
Unless it specifically states on their profile not into..... then how are you to know?
I had a mmmmf at the weekend and the guy who organised it got so much grief off a woman hed never met. Just boils my piss "
You are not wrong but it is also right that people get to pick and choose who they play with. However that does not mean their reasons are not homophobic. It is their choice, but their motives can be questioned and criticised freely. |
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By *hoot45Man
over a year ago
Ramsgate |
"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma."
Well that's their problem - this is 21st century Britain not Victorian times or the American Bible Belt. How can people join an site like this and yet be so narrow minded?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma.
Evolution?
Yes. Some people are thicker than two short planks.
Thick people are more likely to homophobic? "
No, that wasn't what I said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've read this with some interest as a relative newbie to forums here.
For what it's worth I meet about as many 'straight' guys as I do 'bi' or 'bi-curious'. Several of the straight guys are honest and admit they list themselves as straight so as not to put off rg's and couples. I've met some very macho guys as well.
I guess best not to generalise! We are all different in our own ways.
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"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma.
Evolution?
Yes. Some people are thicker than two short planks.
Thick people are more likely to homophobic?
No, that wasn't what I said."
Ok i ended with question mark because im honestly not getting the link? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma.
Evolution?
Yes. Some people are thicker than two short planks.
Thick people are more likely to homophobic?
No, that wasn't what I said.
Ok i ended with question mark because im honestly not getting the link? "
Some people don't meet bisexual men because of dumb reasons like 'evolution'. Those people are stupid. |
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"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma.
Evolution?
Yes. Some people are thicker than two short planks.
Thick people are more likely to homophobic?
No, that wasn't what I said.
Ok i ended with question mark because im honestly not getting the link?
Some people don't meet bisexual men because of dumb reasons like 'evolution'. Those people are stupid."
I don't understand how "evolution" is a reason though? Nobody has ever said that to us. We've been turned down because bi men are a higher risk STD group (which is true) and because they find the thought of it repulsive and hence i am deemed unclean as a result (their choice). But nobody has ever said, "sorry we don't meet bi guys, evolution" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma.
Evolution?
Yes. Some people are thicker than two short planks.
Thick people are more likely to homophobic?
No, that wasn't what I said.
Ok i ended with question mark because im honestly not getting the link?
Some people don't meet bisexual men because of dumb reasons like 'evolution'. Those people are stupid.
I don't understand how "evolution" is a reason though? Nobody has ever said that to us. We've been turned down because bi men are a higher risk STD group (which is true) and because they find the thought of it repulsive and hence i am deemed unclean as a result (their choice). But nobody has ever said, "sorry we don't meet bi guys, evolution""
Because people are stupid. And possibly homophobic. But mostly just fucking stupid. |
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"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma.
Evolution?
Yes. Some people are thicker than two short planks.
Thick people are more likely to homophobic?
No, that wasn't what I said.
Ok i ended with question mark because im honestly not getting the link?
Some people don't meet bisexual men because of dumb reasons like 'evolution'. Those people are stupid.
I don't understand how "evolution" is a reason though? Nobody has ever said that to us. We've been turned down because bi men are a higher risk STD group (which is true) and because they find the thought of it repulsive and hence i am deemed unclean as a result (their choice). But nobody has ever said, "sorry we don't meet bi guys, evolution"
Because people are stupid. And possibly homophobic. But mostly just fucking stupid."
Well statistically men who have sex with other men are at higher risk of STD's. So there's nothing irrational about someone filtering their options by excluding bi guys. I just wish they could be honest about their concerns because then we might choose to have a proper dialogue about my personal sexual health habbits and testing, since the risk of the individual can varying dramatically from the risk of the group. But i don't assume people that won't meet bi guys are stupid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma.
Evolution?
Yes. Some people are thicker than two short planks.
Thick people are more likely to homophobic?
No, that wasn't what I said.
Ok i ended with question mark because im honestly not getting the link?
Some people don't meet bisexual men because of dumb reasons like 'evolution'. Those people are stupid.
I don't understand how "evolution" is a reason though? Nobody has ever said that to us. We've been turned down because bi men are a higher risk STD group (which is true) and because they find the thought of it repulsive and hence i am deemed unclean as a result (their choice). But nobody has ever said, "sorry we don't meet bi guys, evolution"
Because people are stupid. And possibly homophobic. But mostly just fucking stupid.
Well statistically men who have sex with other men are at higher risk of STD's. So there's nothing irrational about someone filtering their options by excluding bi guys. I just wish they could be honest about their concerns because then we might choose to have a proper dialogue about my personal sexual health habbits and testing, since the risk of the individual can varying dramatically from the risk of the group. But i don't assume people that won't meet bi guys are stupid. "
I assume they're stupid if they cite stupid reasons.
(Blood donation is, imo, not a stupid reason). |
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By *hoot45Man
over a year ago
Ramsgate |
But if some bi men are calling themselves straight on this site then the problems you mention are still there, so risks should be applied to all men. In these days of equality should we not also mention that women might also carry the same risks? |
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"But if some bi men are calling themselves straight on this site then the problems you mention are still there, so risks should be applied to all men."
No because the maths doesn't work like that. As long as some people are honest then there is a statistical risk reduction achieved. Although you would get a better risk reduction by investigating the individuals themselves rather than the group they belong to.
"
In these days of equality should we not also mention that women might also carry the same risks?"
Statistics don't care about polticial correctness. More men in the UK have aids than women. Whilst its generally easier for a woman to contract an STD than a man, people are more concerned about non-curable STDs than curable ones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate the stigma at least im honest about my sexuality unlike alot of so called straight guys on here xx And yes i do meet and have met women too!
We have an inordinate number of *straight* guys coming to our events.
Yep who are anything but straight i still believe we are all born bisexual and only become who we are through upbringing mainly xx
Well I don't agree with that. I don't have one bit of attraction toward's women whatsoever and I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with my upbringing "
If no-one had told you that, as a female, you are supposed to be attracted to males, then who knows what would have happened?
Not saying it's as straightforward as the previous poster said, but I do agree that there is, to some degree, a sociological aspect to sexuality.
I do think that as it has become far more socially acceptable to be gay or bisexual, more people have been willing to being open to the idea.
The same with transfolk. I think their are far more in this day and age than their were in years gone by, because they have less (though sadly still something) to fear from being themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But if some bi men are calling themselves straight on this site then the problems you mention are still there, so risks should be applied to all men.
No because the maths doesn't work like that. As long as some people are honest then there is a statistical risk reduction achieved. Although you would get a better risk reduction by investigating the individuals themselves rather than the group they belong to.
In these days of equality should we not also mention that women might also carry the same risks?
Statistics don't care about polticial correctness. More men in the UK have aids than women. Whilst its generally easier for a woman to contract an STD than a man, people are more concerned about non-curable STDs than curable ones. "
This is true. The split is about 2:1* of men vs. women with HIV.
Of 88,769 known suffers
67% Men, 33% Women
*From National Aids Trust latest statistics (2015) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interestingly though, slightly more people contracted HIV from heterosexual sex then from gay (MM) sex.
There is no statistic for women contracting HIV from Lesbian sex.
That all being said, that is why we work with the Terrence Higgins Trust to have free HIV testing at some of our parties. |
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"
If no-one had told you that, as a female, you are supposed to be attracted to males, then who knows what would have happened?
"
I still don't agree,I have one daughter who's straight and one who's lesbian. I didn't treat either of them any different,so why is one straight and one not. I don't believe for a minute you chose your sexuality,although some may I don't know. I didn't chose to be straight,as I'm sure my daughter didn't chose to like girl's and not boy's. |
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"Interestingly though, slightly more people contracted HIV from heterosexual sex then from gay (MM) sex.
There is no statistic for women contracting HIV from Lesbian sex.
That all being said, that is why we work with the Terrence Higgins Trust to have free HIV testing at some of our parties."
That's really great |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the OP raises a fair point. Being Bi is not some sort of optional thing. People can't help if they are a bit or fully Bi orientated. Just because some horrible illness came along in the 80s doesn't mean you can switch off your sexuality and become straight. The idea is laughable and so back to the 50s
Surely we live in an time of enlightenment that allows people to practice their sexuality. A polite no thanks would have sufficed without a homophobic diatribe being unleashed on him. Never mind mate, there are plenty of idiots out there. |
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"But if some bi men are calling themselves straight on this site then the problems you mention are still there, so risks should be applied to all men.
No because the maths doesn't work like that. As long as some people are honest then there is a statistical risk reduction achieved. Although you would get a better risk reduction by investigating the individuals themselves rather than the group they belong to.
In these days of equality should we not also mention that women might also carry the same risks?
Statistics don't care about polticial correctness. More men in the UK have aids than women. Whilst its generally easier for a woman to contract an STD than a man, people are more concerned about non-curable STDs than curable ones. "
You mean such as herpes?
Estimated 7 million carriers in Britain.. |
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"But if some bi men are calling themselves straight on this site then the problems you mention are still there, so risks should be applied to all men.
No because the maths doesn't work like that. As long as some people are honest then there is a statistical risk reduction achieved. Although you would get a better risk reduction by investigating the individuals themselves rather than the group they belong to.
In these days of equality should we not also mention that women might also carry the same risks?
Statistics don't care about polticial correctness. More men in the UK have aids than women. Whilst its generally easier for a woman to contract an STD than a man, people are more concerned about non-curable STDs than curable ones.
You mean such as herpes?
Estimated 7 million carriers in Britain.."
Yup - herpes and AIDs are going to be the ones that bother most people the most. |
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"But if some bi men are calling themselves straight on this site then the problems you mention are still there, so risks should be applied to all men.
No because the maths doesn't work like that. As long as some people are honest then there is a statistical risk reduction achieved. Although you would get a better risk reduction by investigating the individuals themselves rather than the group they belong to.
In these days of equality should we not also mention that women might also carry the same risks?
Statistics don't care about polticial correctness. More men in the UK have aids than women. Whilst its generally easier for a woman to contract an STD than a man, people are more concerned about non-curable STDs than curable ones.
You mean such as herpes?
Estimated 7 million carriers in Britain..
Yup - herpes and AIDs are going to be the ones that bother most people the most. "
And lots of people don't even realise they have got it!!
I would like to add the labels such as gay/bi/str8 mean very little when it comes to passing on std's.
It is not who/What you are it's about what you do..
Practice safer sex and it makes fuck all difference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If no-one had told you that, as a female, you are supposed to be attracted to males, then who knows what would have happened?
I still don't agree,I have one daughter who's straight and one who's lesbian. I didn't treat either of them any different,so why is one straight and one not. I don't believe for a minute you chose your sexuality,although some may I don't know. I didn't chose to be straight,as I'm sure my daughter didn't chose to like girl's and not boy's."
Oh, I understand. I'm not saying that is the only factor. We are all very complicated beings and there are thousands of factors, experiences and decisions we all make in our lives that play into making us what we are.
Both of us described ourselves clearly as straight until about 3 years ago and we're both in our forties.
It's all very complex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would a 'straight' couple turn down a bi female because she was bi???
"
It's not that binary. Some would, some might not. It's all about choice. There really isn't a 1 size fits all answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would a 'straight' couple turn down a bi female because she was bi???
It's not that binary. Some would, some might not. It's all about choice. There really isn't a 1 size fits all answer."
I don't think any couple would.... |
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"
You mean such as herpes?
Estimated 7 million carriers in Britain..
Yup - herpes and AIDs are going to be the ones that bother most people the most.
And lots of people don't even realise they have got it!!
I would like to add the labels such as gay/bi/str8 mean very little when it comes to passing on std's.
It is not who/What you are it's about what you do..
Practice safer sex and it makes fuck all difference."
Sort of. A common problem with any statistics is that it's all about how you slice and dice the data. Generally they do so along groups that are fairly easy to identify and measure (e.g. sexual orientation). It is a fact that if you define bisexual men as a group then they are higher risk. But you could group the same people by those who do and don't have bareback / sex with prostitutes / inject drugs and the risk profiles would be dramatically re-arranged and you'd find many straight guys with a higher risk profile than bi guys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But if some bi men are calling themselves straight on this site then the problems you mention are still there, so risks should be applied to all men.
No because the maths doesn't work like that. As long as some people are honest then there is a statistical risk reduction achieved. Although you would get a better risk reduction by investigating the individuals themselves rather than the group they belong to.
In these days of equality should we not also mention that women might also carry the same risks?
Statistics don't care about polticial correctness. More men in the UK have aids than women. Whilst its generally easier for a woman to contract an STD than a man, people are more concerned about non-curable STDs than curable ones.
You mean such as herpes?
Estimated 7 million carriers in Britain..
Yup - herpes and AIDs are going to be the ones that bother most people the most.
And lots of people don't even realise they have got it!!
I would like to add the labels such as gay/bi/str8 mean very little when it comes to passing on std's.
It is not who/What you are it's about what you do..
Practice safer sex and it makes fuck all difference."
I don't know where you got that number from, but there are about 32,000 cases or genital herpes every year (2014 stat).
The vast majority of people have the herpes virus inside of them by the time they reach their mid-20's, from cold sores and the like.
Herpes does not kill and, to be honest, it's not a major concern to us, it's HIV that scares the crap out of us, but even so, safe sex is the best answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would a 'straight' couple turn down a bi female because she was bi???
It's not that binary. Some would, some might not. It's all about choice. There really isn't a 1 size fits all answer.
I don't think any couple would.... "
Well, maybe the men in those couples wouldn't, but there are still some straight women out there who would avoid I think. |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"Why does it appear that there is a stigma surrounding bi men.
I myself am curious and a message I've just received was a little harsh imo. Feels like it's a no win situation if you declare it or if you don't. "
Some people are losers and like to belittle others. Then there's most of us who're accepting of others even if different. And finally there's a few of us who love bisexual men. Just take this variation in humanity as a fact of life !
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma.
Well that's their problem - this is 21st century Britain not Victorian times or the American Bible Belt. How can people join an site like this and yet be so narrow minded?! "
Just because it is the 21st century you dont have to change your mind, it is a preference. |
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"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma.
Well that's their problem - this is 21st century Britain not Victorian times or the American Bible Belt. How can people join an site like this and yet be so narrow minded?! Just because it is the 21st century you dont have to change your mind, it is a preference."
I have a preference for dark chocolate but that doesn't give me the right to slag off milk or white (yuk) .don't read too much into this..lol |
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"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma.
Well that's their problem - this is 21st century Britain not Victorian times or the American Bible Belt. How can people join an site like this and yet be so narrow minded?! Just because it is the 21st century you dont have to change your mind, it is a preference."
Preferences are not independant choices. They are always based on some deeper logic, that usually people don't wish to share |
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By *hoot45Man
over a year ago
Ramsgate |
"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma.
Well that's their problem - this is 21st century Britain not Victorian times or the American Bible Belt. How can people join an site like this and yet be so narrow minded?! Just because it is the 21st century you dont have to change your mind, it is a preference."
If someone doesn't like the idea of men having sex with men or women having sex with women then it's up to them, but judging people who have that orientation is not very enlightened as someone has already said. Also remember that some men and women have sex with others without their partner's knowledge. The very activities which some people find distasteful maybe being practised by someone you know and you may have no idea that they are doing it. I don't think that this is anything new, just that the opportunities are much greater because of the increase in venues and the Internet. Also men and women feel much more liberated to express their sexuality. |
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"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma.
Well that's their problem - this is 21st century Britain not Victorian times or the American Bible Belt. How can people join an site like this and yet be so narrow minded?! Just because it is the 21st century you dont have to change your mind, it is a preference.
Preferences are not independant choices. They are always based on some deeper logic, that usually people don't wish to share "
I very much agree and don't wish to share my reasons for my preferences!! however a lot is based on my life experiences . |
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"Bisexual people in my experience are far more relaxed
From my experience I think you are right "
I have been with some very uptight guys who describe themselves as bisexual and I have had lots of fun laid back straight blokes..so not necessarily true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always say I am straight(ish).In a proper 3sum it can't be helped touching and maybe more.Had a few guys end up sucking my cock and it feels just as good. |
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By *sagentMan
over a year ago
In the ether |
"Hate the stigma at least im honest about my sexuality unlike alot of so called straight guys on here xx And yes i do meet and have met women too!
We have an inordinate number of *straight* guys coming to our events.
Yep who are anything but straight i still believe we are all born bisexual and only become who we are through upbringing mainly xx
Well I don't agree with that. I don't have one bit of attraction toward's women whatsoever and I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with my upbringing "
It is a learnt feeling heterosexuality, similar to racism. My opinion, for what it is worth, is if it works for you do it. Be safe and sensible and most importantly enjoy it. I would never have me down as bisexual until reasonably recently and I ended up loving being fucked by men and women and find anal excitexciting and enjoyable, but I don't like giving it to a man. There is no physical reason that being pleasures by some one of the same sex is any different to "normal" sex (whatever that is) and it is a mental thing that makes people think it abnormal. Just my opinion, and if you disagree that is fine too!
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By *hoot45Man
over a year ago
Ramsgate |
"I always say I am straight(ish).In a proper 3sum it can't be helped touching and maybe more.Had a few guys end up sucking my cock and it feels just as good."
Blokes tend to suck well - best I've ever had was from a married guy - he just be good at going down on women too |
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"I always say I am straight(ish).In a proper 3sum it can't be helped touching and maybe more.Had a few guys end up sucking my cock and it feels just as good.
Blokes tend to suck well - best I've ever had was from a married guy - he just be good at going down on women too "
It doesn't necessarily follow. I'm shit at licking pussy but I can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. |
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"I always say I am straight(ish).In a proper 3sum it can't be helped touching and maybe more.Had a few guys end up sucking my cock and it feels just as good.
Blokes tend to suck well - best I've ever had was from a married guy - he just be good at going down on women too
It doesn't necessarily follow. I'm shit at licking pussy but I can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. "
Agree ..most of us bisexual guys can say we have had awful blow jobs from men and brilliant blow jobs from women and vice versa |
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By *hoot45Man
over a year ago
Ramsgate |
"I always say I am straight(ish).In a proper 3sum it can't be helped touching and maybe more.Had a few guys end up sucking my cock and it feels just as good.
Blokes tend to suck well - best I've ever had was from a married guy - he just be good at going down on women too
Sucking a golf ball through a hose must be a good skill - do u work at a golf club? 
It doesn't necessarily follow. I'm shit at licking pussy but I can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. "
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By *sagentMan
over a year ago
In the ether |
"I always say I am straight(ish).In a proper 3sum it can't be helped touching and maybe more.Had a few guys end up sucking my cock and it feels just as good."
Well I am local to you ha ha ha!! I think as with all meetings boundaries are to be respected. I enjoy all forms of sex, I suck cock and fanny alike, but if I play with someone straight I don't grab their cock and suck it. That would be rude and unnecessary, but I have been in a woman and had a bloke in me (always safely) and had fun that way. If all present enjoy that then great if not it doesn't happen. Gay and no men do not see everything as a sexual opportunity and are no more or less promiscuous as the next person... But isn t sex great????  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bi bloke here open honest and proud to be bi, if u don't like the fact that I'm bi your loss not mine, I am what I am a openly honest bi bloke, one life live it do whatever puts a smile on your face, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of guys hide it on here as lots of couples and women won't meet bi guys, saying the disease risk is slightly higher or they're blood donors or they find bi guys less masculine and a bit of a turn off as a result. There's a lot of these threads which usually boil down to one side saying that the other side is homophobic and the other side saying it's our choice who we play with and everyone has "preferences"
In our experience all bisexual people make better swingers. We maybe bias, but as long as you play safe and get regular testing we don't buy the whole increased risk argument. In fact straight people who do not practice safe sex are far more risky. "
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"A lot of people on FAB and in real life are against male homosexuality on grounds of morality, disease prevention, religion or evolution. Hence the stigma.
Well that's their problem - this is 21st century Britain not Victorian times or the American Bible Belt. How can people join an site like this and yet be so narrow minded?! Just because it is the 21st century you dont have to change your mind, it is a preference."
You don't have to change your mind. Correct. But you do have to realise that people are apt to criticise you if your choices are made through ignorance or bigotry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate the stigma at least im honest about my sexuality unlike alot of so called straight guys on here xx And yes i do meet and have met women too!
We have an inordinate number of *straight* guys coming to our events.
Yep who are anything but straight i still believe we are all born bisexual and only become who we are through upbringing mainly xx"
I am not bisexual at all. I am very straight. I have never been bisexual. It's nothing to do with my upbringing. |
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