FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Reality of meeting very different to the idea
Reality of meeting very different to the idea
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"From my short experiences so far on here why do so many people actually only enjoy the idea of meeting rather than the actually reality ?
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Interesting topic.
I'd guess that some are far too scared to do anything in real life that falls far out of their comfort zone. So they rely on the anonymity of an online site to pretend they are courageous enough to have sex with a stranger.
There are some I've chatted with who honestly don't want to meet; they get enough pleasure out of whatever dreams they have of doing the naughty thing.
Then there are those idiots who get a kick out of leading someone on "for fun."
In the end--takes all types, but there are quite a few of the reality based ones, so it evens out. Eventually.
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By *D835Man
over a year ago
London |
"From my short experiences so far on here why do so many people actually only enjoy the idea of meeting rather than the actually reality ?
Interesting topic.
I'd guess that some are far too scared to do anything in real life that falls far out of their comfort zone. So they rely on the anonymity of an online site to pretend they are courageous enough to have sex with a stranger.
There are some I've chatted with who honestly don't want to meet; they get enough pleasure out of whatever dreams they have of doing the naughty thing.
Then there are those idiots who get a kick out of leading someone on "for fun."
In the end--takes all types, but there are quite a few of the reality based ones, so it evens out. Eventually.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think for some people, the whole fantasy aspect of it all is hugely exciting but they either intentionally keep it in those realms, or get off on talking about it, cybering or camming with it in mind, or when faced with the actual reality of meeting strangers with the potential of having sex with them is just too intimidating for them to follow through...the challenge here is recognising and ing those people out if you are serious about meeting also... |
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"Im just getting frustrated with people wasting my time !! I'm hoping I will get better at spotting these profiles 
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I find it's all in the expectations I set.
If I expect everyone I chat with to think like me, or want what I want, I'm likely to be disappointed.
On the other hand, I've gradually (took years!) come to find that some are good for one thing, and some for another.
Don't discount the ones who engage in witty banter but never meet as "timewasters," for example---they may set the tone for an entirely different sort of chat with the next one you chat with, who may be The One you really wanted to meet. And do!
I've just found, in my years here and on another site, that you get what you put into it. Not necessarily all the sex you can dream of (though that's not necessarily just a dream) but learn from everyone you talk to and move on from there.
End of lecture, lol. |
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Lol I appreciate it I really do !!
For me I enjoy the forums here more than anything else it's where I'm finding the most genuine people even if it's not to meet at least it's decent conversation.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From my short experiences so far on here why do so many people actually only enjoy the idea of meeting rather than the actually reality ?
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I usually find that if you haven't arranged to meet in the first couple of weeks then its not going to happen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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May be coming across a bit strong here but if you want to meet someone that badly, get your dancing shoes on and hit the dancefloor on Saturday night.
We have been here almost 6 months and we have had 4 meets, 3 stayed social and 1 very soft play.
Last meet was social but ended up very naughty late on.
Have we had full swap same room sex? No and we are still nowhere close to it.
Patience is the biggest factor and obstacle in your way on this site. Overcome that and you will start to understand how it works. xx |
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This problem has got worse in the last couple of years. I think folks get a kick from making someone think they might have sex with them.
Then there are the fakes, the single men who pretend they are couples or even women too. They get the genuine men a bad name and at to us getting ignored as I don't think people raed verifiactions now to see who is genuine.
Hiding verifications hasn't helped this either but I daresay some disagree.
People are generally more ignorant and impolite and think nothing of stringing others along.
Previously if you sent a message, you would get a repy even f it was no thanks. That's polite unless the original mesage was totally stupied or opposite to profile requests.
There are genuine folks but getting harder and harder to find them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From my short experiences so far on here why do so many people actually only enjoy the idea of meeting rather than the actually reality ?
I usually find that if you haven't arranged to meet in the first couple of weeks then its not going to happen"
Exactly this
Mentioning meeting up pretty quickly in the conversation normally sorts out the timewasters for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's swings and roundabouts really.
There's certainly a number of pretenders and timers who just enjoy the thrill of the chase.
But equally, under the same circumstances, there's plenty who's desire to meet doesn't match opportunity to do so.
On such occasions it's those with no patience or those who place expectations on people to meet, without knowing, understanding or appreciating individual circumstances, that are equally problematic, and bring the scene down just as much as the time wasters. |
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"Happens a lot, generally new people or those who have been on for some time without any veris in my case. I always arrange a social for on my lunch break then I'm not wasting my time "
And what times your lunch usually ?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well it's something that's happend to me a few times and I find it so frustrating and a waste of my time !
I don't look to meet to often and when I do I give them my time and attention !! If they just wanted to chat and talk about ideas and fantasies I might still chat if I'm in that frame of mind but at least be honest and let me make the choice !! The last couple I was speaking to yesterday we'd spoke on cam been speaking for few days I travelled to them and then no answer and profile had been deleted !! Seriously what is the point ??? I just don't get it !! Was going to be my first couple experience to 
But hey least Brush myself down and try again "
We found it happened to us a fair bit in the early days of being in the site. I think some were guys who never had any intention of meeting, just got their kicks from chatting to the people whose pics they were perving over, but I think you also get people who when push comes to shove lose their nerve. I'd rather that than have them turn up then run or just not turn up at all.
I'm with you, sometimes I'm in the frame of mind and have time for some cheeky chat and to be fair a couple of guys who fell into the first category I wouldn't call time wasters as I enjoyed the chat too.
Sounds like with a cam chat you're doing the right things, maybe if you're really interested try and get at least a social in asap. I'd happily brush you up and down if you were closer  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The chase, sexual excitement at the time of contact...only for it to fade. Let's be honest were not always in tune at the same time?
We're a funny species ! |
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"From my short experiences so far on here why do so many people actually only enjoy the idea of meeting rather than the actually reality ?
I usually find that if you haven't arranged to meet in the first couple of weeks then its not going to happen"
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hahaha
And just so you know I do travel 