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"A master is meant to push the slave's limits.. I don't Have any safe word... no limits except those of my Master.. how can it be assault... I'm his... I have given my consent for all, relinquished my right to refuse... and trust in my Master not to abuse that... a slave must choose her master wisely, and a Master must be just as careful in his choice of slave... It's not something that many understand. But my Master can not assault me, I'm his. Body, mind and soul... yet it has made me a much better person. I'm more confident, feel better, and am more organised.. It's the bond between a master and slave that your missing... the trust between those that have this sort of relationship.... the total satisfaction that is gained when you give your self so totally to the control of someone else... but don't mistake control for being a doormat... as most definitely are not. Katie x " ok, well explained but say hypothetically you (as the sub) suddenly for whatever reason you want the sub dom thing to stop. Its your decision so it stops. You have the control and his control is only at your bequest. or am i still not getting it? | |||
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" ok, well explained but say hypothetically you (as the sub) suddenly for whatever reason you want the sub dom thing to stop. Its your decision so it stops. You have the control and his control is only at your bequest. or am i still not getting it?" In my relationship I relinquished it all... no right to leave.. yes okay I guess legally it would be impossible to inforce.. but I am property.. does a car get up and leave because its fed up being driven hard.. Yes its different but within my world that is exactly how it is.. But for the record I am very well treated and love my life.. and wouldnt change it for anything.. I do not have any right to refuse... none what so ever.. Yes some hate to think of that.. but it was my choice to give it all up.. and I am free in more ways that most could imagine. If I wanted out I could request it.. but Master does not have to give it to me... However, my relationship is the extreme end of the spectrum... there is only I believe about one level more extreme... I could not leave... as I really honestly do not see it as my place to say I can. I am owned, proud of that and wear my collar with pride 24/7. I do all I am asked.. I love serving, I love pleasing my Master and I love the bond between us... The security I feel... the love and trust... It is very hard to explain to those outside.... and in a TPE ( Total Power Exchange) Even harder. Katie. x | |||
"The slave and the master/mistress. It strikes that this is one of lifes great sexual paradoxes. The Dom controls the sub, the sub doing the bidding of the dom, taking chastisement/punishment as necessary. However who's really in charge? Certainly not the dom, he/she only has control as long as the sub grants him/her that privilage. The moment the sub has had enough it becomes assault....... doesnt it?? Or am I missing something??" Yes, you are missing something,the fact that creating an idea that D/s relationships operate to totally different rules is an invention . Apologies to those who read this elsewhere,but i am going to quote myself. Imagine a totally vanilla scenario. A man arrives back from the pub, d*unk and horny, his wife already asleep. His knowledge of her means he knows whether he can slip his hand between her legs and start rubbing. His knowledge of the relationship tells him whether to stop when she says “I’m tired”. His ideas about what kind of relationship he wants determine whether he climbs on top as she says ”No babes, I’m really not in the mood” In any relationship things only work if both are aware of the needs of the other,the job of the Dom is to turn the no into a yes.Should the sub believe she can just say no,and their relationship survive exactly the same,well she is deluded as the man who climbs on top of his wife after ignoring the signals. The myth the sub is n control is perpetrated by those who cannot except what power exchange means,or that adults consent to it.But as adults both partiess are aware that if the Dom pushes his sub to the point she needs to leave,then yes she has the power tehn,but in exercising it they are no longer in a D/s relationship.Not only that but he has failed as a Dom. | |||
"A master is meant to push the slave's limits.. I don't Have any safe word... no limits except those of my Master.. how can it be assault... I'm his... I have given my consent for all, relinquished my right to refuse... and trust in my Master not to abuse that... a slave must choose her master wisely, and a Master must be just as careful in his choice of slave... It's not something that many understand. But my Master can not assault me, I'm his. Body, mind and soul... yet it has made me a much better person. I'm more confident, feel better, and am more organised.. It's the bond between a master and slave that your missing... the trust between those that have this sort of relationship.... the total satisfaction that is gained when you give your self so totally to the control of someone else... but don't mistake control for being a doormat... as most definitely are not. Katie x ok, well explained but say hypothetically you (as the sub) suddenly for whatever reason you want the sub dom thing to stop. Its your decision so it stops. You have the control and his control is only at your bequest. or am i still not getting it?" The Dom can stop it too,that is what you are not getting. | |||
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"sometimes the sub can be very assertive in exactly how they want to be a sub and this starts to be the dominant factor! " That though is topping from the bottom. My Master would not take that... I can make my opinion known.....but my Master doesn't have to take it. I don't think a really submissive person would ever dream of dictating or trying to get control of the situation. Katie . X | |||
"sometimes the sub can be very assertive in exactly how they want to be a sub and this starts to be the dominant factor! That though is topping from the bottom. My Master would not take that... I can make my opinion known.....but my Master doesn't have to take it. I don't think a really submissive person would ever dream of dictating or trying to get control of the situation. Katie . X " Have to agree Katie, if the sub is trying to control, and the Dom allows it, what kind of Dom is he? A real world example that perhaps explains the subtle realities of the situation. My Master wants me to start wearing a training corset,as soon as i get rid of this damn tummy bug i will be wearing it daily.When he visited this week he saw me in it for the first time and tightned it to his satisfaction. After 20 minutes and a fab face fucking i started seeing spots before my eyes. It did not even enter my head to tell him i wanted the corset off,however his training means i know to inform him of anything that affects his use of me. i told him and he removed the corset. A sub must communicate with her Dom,however that is a world away from trying to control what happens. BTW i realise i may be coming across one true way,there are many who include aspects of BDSM in their relationships without TPE. This is not a critism of more negotiated situations,just an attempt to convey what D/s means to me. | |||
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"The slave and the master/mistress. It strikes that this is one of lifes great sexual paradoxes. The Dom controls the sub, the sub doing the bidding of the dom, taking chastisement/punishment as necessary. However who's really in charge? Certainly not the dom, he/she only has control as long as the sub grants him/her that privilage. The moment the sub has had enough it becomes assault....... doesnt it?? Or am I missing something?? Yes, you are missing something,the fact that creating an idea that D/s relationships operate to totally different rules is an invention . Apologies to those who read this elsewhere,but i am going to quote myself. Imagine a totally vanilla scenario. A man arrives back from the pub, d*unk and horny, his wife already asleep. His knowledge of her means he knows whether he can slip his hand between her legs and start rubbing. His knowledge of the relationship tells him whether to stop when she says “I’m tired”. His ideas about what kind of relationship he wants determine whether he climbs on top as she says ”No babes, I’m really not in the mood” In any relationship things only work if both are aware of the needs of the other,the job of the Dom is to turn the no into a yes.Should the sub believe she can just say no,and their relationship survive exactly the same,well she is deluded as the man who climbs on top of his wife after ignoring the signals. The myth the sub is n control is perpetrated by those who cannot except what power exchange means,or that adults consent to it.But as adults both partiess are aware that if the Dom pushes his sub to the point she needs to leave,then yes she has the power tehn,but in exercising it they are no longer in a D/s relationship.Not only that but he has failed as a Dom." Are you talking from experience like katie or is this just your humble opinion? | |||
"The slave and the master/mistress. It strikes that this is one of lifes great sexual paradoxes. The Dom controls the sub, the sub doing the bidding of the dom, taking chastisement/punishment as necessary. However who's really in charge? Certainly not the dom, he/she only has control as long as the sub grants him/her that privilage. The moment the sub has had enough it becomes assault....... doesnt it?? Or am I missing something?? Yes, you are missing something,the fact that creating an idea that D/s relationships operate to totally different rules is an invention . Apologies to those who read this elsewhere,but i am going to quote myself. Imagine a totally vanilla scenario. A man arrives back from the pub, d*unk and horny, his wife already asleep. His knowledge of her means he knows whether he can slip his hand between her legs and start rubbing. His knowledge of the relationship tells him whether to stop when she says “I’m tired”. His ideas about what kind of relationship he wants determine whether he climbs on top as she says ”No babes, I’m really not in the mood” In any relationship things only work if both are aware of the needs of the other,the job of the Dom is to turn the no into a yes.Should the sub believe she can just say no,and their relationship survive exactly the same,well she is deluded as the man who climbs on top of his wife after ignoring the signals. The myth the sub is n control is perpetrated by those who cannot except what power exchange means,or that adults consent to it.But as adults both partiess are aware that if the Dom pushes his sub to the point she needs to leave,then yes she has the power tehn,but in exercising it they are no longer in a D/s relationship.Not only that but he has failed as a Dom. Are you talking from experience like katie or is this just your humble opinion?" why would it make any difference,you either see the point i am trying to make or dont... However a quick peek at my profile may have answered that question. | |||
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"I find it all fascintating and enjoy reading this type of thread " And i enjoy perving your bum, so everyone is happy! | |||
"I find it all fascintating and enjoy reading this type of thread And i enjoy perving your bum, so everyone is happy! " lol Jem but am actually serious did you take note no evil emoticion at the end of my comment before. I do find it truely fascinating and the posts are really good to read about it all. | |||
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"The slave and the master/mistress. It strikes that this is one of lifes great sexual paradoxes. The Dom controls the sub, the sub doing the bidding of the dom, taking chastisement/punishment as necessary. However who's really in charge? Certainly not the dom, he/she only has control as long as the sub grants him/her that privilage. The moment the sub has had enough it becomes assault....... doesnt it?? Or am I missing something?? Yes, you are missing something,the fact that creating an idea that D/s relationships operate to totally different rules is an invention . Apologies to those who read this elsewhere,but i am going to quote myself. Imagine a totally vanilla scenario. A man arrives back from the pub, d*unk and horny, his wife already asleep. His knowledge of her means he knows whether he can slip his hand between her legs and start rubbing. His knowledge of the relationship tells him whether to stop when she says “I’m tired”. His ideas about what kind of relationship he wants determine whether he climbs on top as she says ”No babes, I’m really not in the mood” In any relationship things only work if both are aware of the needs of the other,the job of the Dom is to turn the no into a yes.Should the sub believe she can just say no,and their relationship survive exactly the same,well she is deluded as the man who climbs on top of his wife after ignoring the signals. The myth the sub is n control is perpetrated by those who cannot except what power exchange means,or that adults consent to it.But as adults both partiess are aware that if the Dom pushes his sub to the point she needs to leave,then yes she has the power tehn,but in exercising it they are no longer in a D/s relationship.Not only that but he has failed as a Dom. Are you talking from experience like katie or is this just your humble opinion? why would it make any difference,you either see the point i am trying to make or dont... However a quick peek at my profile may have answered that question." No i've not read your profile and i guess you dont want to answer the question which is ok. Suggest you try to be less confrontational in your responses though. Its only a bit of fun x | |||
" Its only a bit of fun x" See that is I think what gets the response sometimes rather strong... its not a bit of fun, its a serious part of our relationships... I'm my Masters slave above all else.... yes we love each other, yes we are great friends and deeply connected to each other but my reactions to things are always respective of the fact I'm owned.... It wouldn't be obvious to those around but It's a constant within our relationship. Katie X | |||
"The slave and the master/mistress. It strikes that this is one of lifes great sexual paradoxes. The Dom controls the sub, the sub doing the bidding of the dom, taking chastisement/punishment as necessary. However who's really in charge? Certainly not the dom, he/she only has control as long as the sub grants him/her that privilage. The moment the sub has had enough it becomes assault....... doesnt it?? Or am I missing something?? Yes, you are missing something,the fact that creating an idea that D/s relationships operate to totally different rules is an invention . Apologies to those who read this elsewhere,but i am going to quote myself. Imagine a totally vanilla scenario. A man arrives back from the pub, d*unk and horny, his wife already asleep. His knowledge of her means he knows whether he can slip his hand between her legs and start rubbing. His knowledge of the relationship tells him whether to stop when she says “I’m tired”. His ideas about what kind of relationship he wants determine whether he climbs on top as she says ”No babes, I’m really not in the mood” In any relationship things only work if both are aware of the needs of the other,the job of the Dom is to turn the no into a yes.Should the sub believe she can just say no,and their relationship survive exactly the same,well she is deluded as the man who climbs on top of his wife after ignoring the signals. The myth the sub is n control is perpetrated by those who cannot except what power exchange means,or that adults consent to it.But as adults both partiess are aware that if the Dom pushes his sub to the point she needs to leave,then yes she has the power tehn,but in exercising it they are no longer in a D/s relationship.Not only that but he has failed as a Dom. Are you talking from experience like katie or is this just your humble opinion? why would it make any difference,you either see the point i am trying to make or dont... However a quick peek at my profile may have answered that question. No i've not read your profile and i guess you dont want to answer the question which is ok. Suggest you try to be less confrontational in your responses though. Its only a bit of fun x" i am happy to answer, i just thought you were being exceptionally lazy... i am a proud pierced owned sub,which 99% of the forumites could have told you,since i rarely stop boasting about it or my Master. As for confrontational, disagreeing is not confrontational.Don't post if you only want nodding dogs, If by bit of fun you mean you deliberatly put up a post to rile ppl in D/s relationships,thats pretty sad. Others however have found the debate interesting,so at least attempting to give an insight into my world was not wasted. | |||
"When yer get to exploring the D/S scene, it becomes apparent theres all sorts of relationships and scenarios...its foolish to generalise. I s`pose its human nature that some peeps think they`re experience is the most authentic..been there myself...wisdom tells us differently tho..the D/S scene is what you want it to be ...fer sure!! " As both katie and i said, it is above all else a relationship,and every relationship is different.However when ppl ask about D/s you can either be so vague as to be pointless or base in on your own and the experiences of those you know well. And you havnt lived till you spent a night with a group of d*unken subs discussing Doms! | |||
" And you havnt lived till you spent a night with a group of d*unken subs discussing Doms! " Lol that I've never done.. but then a) I don't really drink and b) never even met in person one sub lol Katie X | |||
" And you havnt lived till you spent a night with a group of d*unken subs discussing Doms! Lol that I've never done.. but then a) I don't really drink and b) never even met in person one sub lol Katie X " You have an email.... | |||
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"The slave and the master/mistress. It strikes that this is one of lifes great sexual paradoxes. The Dom controls the sub, the sub doing the bidding of the dom, taking chastisement/punishment as necessary. However who's really in charge? Certainly not the dom, he/she only has control as long as the sub grants him/her that privilage. The moment the sub has had enough it becomes assault....... doesnt it?? Or am I missing something?? Yes, you are missing something,the fact that creating an idea that D/s relationships operate to totally different rules is an invention . Apologies to those who read this elsewhere,but i am going to quote myself. Imagine a totally vanilla scenario. A man arrives back from the pub, d*unk and horny, his wife already asleep. His knowledge of her means he knows whether he can slip his hand between her legs and start rubbing. His knowledge of the relationship tells him whether to stop when she says “I’m tired”. His ideas about what kind of relationship he wants determine whether he climbs on top as she says ”No babes, I’m really not in the mood” In any relationship things only work if both are aware of the needs of the other,the job of the Dom is to turn the no into a yes.Should the sub believe she can just say no,and their relationship survive exactly the same,well she is deluded as the man who climbs on top of his wife after ignoring the signals. The myth the sub is n control is perpetrated by those who cannot except what power exchange means,or that adults consent to it.But as adults both partiess are aware that if the Dom pushes his sub to the point she needs to leave,then yes she has the power tehn,but in exercising it they are no longer in a D/s relationship.Not only that but he has failed as a Dom. Are you talking from experience like katie or is this just your humble opinion? why would it make any difference,you either see the point i am trying to make or dont... However a quick peek at my profile may have answered that question. No i've not read your profile and i guess you dont want to answer the question which is ok. Suggest you try to be less confrontational in your responses though. Its only a bit of fun x i am happy to answer, i just thought you were being exceptionally lazy... i am a proud pierced owned sub,which 99% of the forumites could have told you,since i rarely stop boasting about it or my Master. As for confrontational, disagreeing is not confrontational.Don't post if you only want nodding dogs, If by bit of fun you mean you deliberatly put up a post to rile ppl in D/s relationships,thats pretty sad. Others however have found the debate interesting,so at least attempting to give an insight into my world was not wasted." The bit of fun thing was referring the the forums, not your lifestyle. Thought that was clear....... Lazy? not sure how that was concluded... Thanks for answering the question, interesting but I wouldnt have asked the other forumites, i'm not a gossip. I guess the dom/sub thing is down to individual interpretation within each relationship, to some its a lifestyle others its a bedroom activity. Whichever strength you choose it seem to have a loyal following. x | |||
"And as for doms, you either have it or you do not.It is a presence. " Agreed. I've seen many self-appointed tin-pot generals along the way. Too many think the title permits them to inflict inconsidered physical violence to satisfy their fetish for pain they themselves will never venture to experience - akin to an ignorant schoolboy pulling the legs from some stricken insect. The qualities of such persons extends way beyond the ability to wield and inflict. Wolf | |||
"sometimes the sub can be very assertive in exactly how they want to be a sub and this starts to be the dominant factor! That though is topping from the bottom. My Master would not take that... I can make my opinion known.....but my Master doesn't have to take it. I don't think a really submissive person would ever dream of dictating or trying to get control of the situation. Katie . X Have to agree Katie, if the sub is trying to control, and the Dom allows it, what kind of Dom is he? A real world example that perhaps explains the subtle realities of the situation. My Master wants me to start wearing a training corset,as soon as i get rid of this damn tummy bug i will be wearing it daily.When he visited this week he saw me in it for the first time and tightned it to his satisfaction. After 20 minutes and a fab face fucking i started seeing spots before my eyes. It did not even enter my head to tell him i wanted the corset off,however his training means i know to inform him of anything that affects his use of me. i told him and he removed the corset. A sub must communicate with her Dom,however that is a world away from trying to control what happens. BTW i realise i may be coming across one true way,there are many who include aspects of BDSM in their relationships without TPE. This is not a critism of more negotiated situations,just an attempt to convey what D/s means to me. " What is a training corset? | |||
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"sometimes the sub can be very assertive in exactly how they want to be a sub and this starts to be the dominant factor! That though is topping from the bottom. My Master would not take that... I can make my opinion known.....but my Master doesn't have to take it. I don't think a really submissive person would ever dream of dictating or trying to get control of the situation. Katie . X Have to agree Katie, if the sub is trying to control, and the Dom allows it, what kind of Dom is he? A real world example that perhaps explains the subtle realities of the situation. My Master wants me to start wearing a training corset,as soon as i get rid of this damn tummy bug i will be wearing it daily.When he visited this week he saw me in it for the first time and tightned it to his satisfaction. After 20 minutes and a fab face fucking i started seeing spots before my eyes. It did not even enter my head to tell him i wanted the corset off,however his training means i know to inform him of anything that affects his use of me. i told him and he removed the corset. A sub must communicate with her Dom,however that is a world away from trying to control what happens. BTW i realise i may be coming across one true way,there are many who include aspects of BDSM in their relationships without TPE. This is not a critism of more negotiated situations,just an attempt to convey what D/s means to me. What is a training corset?" A steel boned corset that over time changes your body shape, think victorian ladies. | |||
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"sometimes the sub can be very assertive in exactly how they want to be a sub and this starts to be the dominant factor! That though is topping from the bottom. My Master would not take that... I can make my opinion known.....but my Master doesn't have to take it. I don't think a really submissive person would ever dream of dictating or trying to get control of the situation. Katie . X Have to agree Katie, if the sub is trying to control, and the Dom allows it, what kind of Dom is he? A real world example that perhaps explains the subtle realities of the situation. My Master wants me to start wearing a training corset,as soon as i get rid of this damn tummy bug i will be wearing it daily.When he visited this week he saw me in it for the first time and tightned it to his satisfaction. After 20 minutes and a fab face fucking i started seeing spots before my eyes. It did not even enter my head to tell him i wanted the corset off,however his training means i know to inform him of anything that affects his use of me. i told him and he removed the corset. A sub must communicate with her Dom,however that is a world away from trying to control what happens. BTW i realise i may be coming across one true way,there are many who include aspects of BDSM in their relationships without TPE. This is not a critism of more negotiated situations,just an attempt to convey what D/s means to me. What is a training corset? A steel boned corset that over time changes your body shape, think victorian ladies. " googled it but yes I see now, very tiny waist | |||
" What is a training corset? A steel boned corset that over time changes your body shape, think victorian ladies. googled it but yes I see now, very tiny waist " Well yes,i think the reality of my build means i wnt be approaching any of the pics on the net! | |||
" What is a training corset? A steel boned corset that over time changes your body shape, think victorian ladies. googled it but yes I see now, very tiny waist Well yes,i think the reality of my build means i wnt be approaching any of the pics on the net! " Oh... but why..?? has to be asked.. as didnt you know they were the reason many victorian ladies had issues.. not to mention fainting often.. I take it that it wont be used during normal day to day stuff.. Katie. x | |||
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" What is a training corset? A steel boned corset that over time changes your body shape, think victorian ladies. googled it but yes I see now, very tiny waist Well yes,i think the reality of my build means i wnt be approaching any of the pics on the net! Oh... but why..?? has to be asked.. as didnt you know they were the reason many victorian ladies had issues.. not to mention fainting often.. I take it that it wont be used during normal day to day stuff.. Katie. x" i do know that,and am to wear it daily for a limited time..as to the why, will u accept i was told too! | |||
" i do know that,and am to wear it daily for a limited time..as to the why, will u accept i was told too! " I would accept that... but I would find issue with it if it was for me.. but I would give my Master my objections and then if Master still insisted I would wear it. Katie.x | |||
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"This is a very interesting thread, I read it all through and then went back to the OP to get back on track. As was mentioned it’s interesting that it seems the Subs are all out to defend their Masters position but so they should perhaps. With respect to all the subs/doms out there it seems to me that the whole thing is just an illusion. The Sub and the Dom cannot exist without each other and so they are totally dependant on each other and therefore neither has total power, it’s a cooperative. The Dom is and wants to be Master and gains pleasure from it. The Sub wants to be dominated and gains pleasure from it. I just see two people who have a relationship. In the vanilla world things really are not much different, sub/dom/switch exists in all relationships in allsorts of different ways. Seems to me the Master/Slave/BDSM thing is just an awareness of what might be called a ‘normal’ relationship and amplified the components that it’s built on. " Why does the fact it resembles other relationships make it an illusion? But the differences are important,with my Master his pleasure is my pleasure.Of course we both enjoy what we do,i chose to be his sub. But you cannot understand the mindset of a sub until you understand that pleasing their Master can be enough to make you come. | |||
" But you cannot understand the mindset of a sub until you understand that pleasing their Master can be enough to make you come. " mmmm yes.. I am finding the pleasure of that lately. Just accepting my tasks and not questioning.. its giving me such a huge feeling of satisfaction.. I love knowing that I have pleased my Master, and I know one day my obedience will be tested.. It may not be something I will enjoy by itself, but I will do it knowing my Master will be pleased.. and that in itself give me pleasure.. and its the ultimate pleasure. Katie.x | |||
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"I was suggesting that the Master/Slave part is an illusion because both are dependent on each other so it can never be real. I can cause my partner to orgasm with out any physical contact whatsoever. I understand some people can achieve this with cyber-sex and or phone-sex. Same sort of thing but on a different theme is it not?" i am struggling to understand why the fact the Master needs the sub/slave makes it an illusion.Of course they need each other.It does not alter the control he has,or the fact that the sub willingly gives up that control. i wonder if you have a slightly distoted view of what a Dom is.He is not some emotionless robot.Katie talks movingly of her love for her Master,and his for her. My relationship exists without romantic love,but i consider my Master a close friend,and he cares immensly for my well being as a person. Does this mean he has any less control?That my desire to submit can in some way be turned on and off? Perhaps a wider example might help.In the cotton plantations of the 19th century the slaves out numbered the Masters,and without the slaves the economy collapsed.Does this mean the slave owners did not have the power of life and death ? | |||
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"Yes that's the point, the slave to the master in that case of a plantation is real, the slave has no choice (other than death perhaps)the slave has no call on how much punishment is acceptable, the slave has no call to limit the demands required of it, it has no 'stop' command. I've not suggested that there is anything missing from the sub/dom thing, I've not suggested that its not a loving relationship or working relationship... that's the point it is indeed a cooperative, one cannot exist without the slave part 'volunteering' to give themselves up to the slave position. " I have no call on how much I am punished.. I can not leave, my life is owned... body mind and soul... before I accepted my masters total ownership I had such choices.. but now I don't... its hard for some to see how that can be.. but simply I'm owned, collared and my life is not my own... and I'd not have it any other way. Katie x | |||
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