FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Meet gone wrong!

Meet gone wrong!

By *lice_in_Blunderland OP Woman over a year ago

Staffordshire

I had a meet tonight with a guy who I had a social with a while back. Got on great, chatted lots since so tonight we had a couple drinks, a laugh and half way through fucking he went pulled out and said sorry not for me

Obviously totally dejected!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry to hear that he could've possibly finished and made his excuses after

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I had a meet tonight with a guy who I had a social with a while back. Got on great, chatted lots since so tonight we had a couple drinks, a laugh and half way through fucking he went pulled out and said sorry not for me

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh dear. Plenty of fish and all that

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Omg, you're not even joking are you? Sounds like it was going well up to that point to.

Try not to dwell on it

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

Wtf? Sounds more like an issue he's got. If it was anything to do with not being attracted he wouldn't have met after the 1st social.

Just put it in your oddball stories, to look back on and laugh about once the shock has gone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Could he have been married and got the guilts? X

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By *ettyboop61Woman over a year ago

St Neots

"Could he have been married and got the guilts? X "

Yes some think if you give a woman oral and not fuck them it's ok they haven't cheated!!! That happened to me once ...

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By *ishopstippleMan over a year ago

Purley

OMG. Shit happens. its not your fault. Maybe guilt got the better of him.

Swinging ain't that easy. So please don't beat yourself up over it - its his loss, not yours. Look to the future.

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By *lice_in_Blunderland OP Woman over a year ago

Staffordshire

Thank you all!

Seriously made me feel better

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By *iverpooldougMan over a year ago

Liverpool

Crosby, bisexual. Pegging wow.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"OMG. Shit happens. its not your fault. Maybe guilt got the better of him.

Swinging ain't that easy. So please don't beat yourself up over it - its his loss, not yours. Look to the future."

"His loss" Bingo!

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By *ishopstippleMan over a year ago

Purley

"Thank you all!

Seriously made me feel better

Thats what this place and we are here for

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

"
his loss

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By *ishopstippleMan over a year ago

Purley

"OMG. Shit happens. its not your fault. Maybe guilt got the better of him.

Swinging ain't that easy. So please don't beat yourself up over it - its his loss, not yours. Look to the future.

"His loss" Bingo!

Hi Clem how's you doing? Cant PM you. Thanks for echoing, mate.

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By *iverpooldougMan over a year ago

Liverpool

Never been a form kind of cool as now open bisexual x

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By *owdyboy 890Man over a year ago

Country West

It happens look forward to the next one and it could be the one you wanted xx

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"OMG. Shit happens. its not your fault. Maybe guilt got the better of him.

Swinging ain't that easy. So please don't beat yourself up over it - its his loss, not yours. Look to the future.

"His loss" Bingo!

Hi Clem how's you doing? Cant PM you. Thanks for echoing, mate."

It wasn't an echo.

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By *ishopstippleMan over a year ago

Purley

"OMG. Shit happens. its not your fault. Maybe guilt got the better of him.

Swinging ain't that easy. So please don't beat yourself up over it - its his loss, not yours. Look to the future.

"His loss" Bingo!

Hi Clem how's you doing? Cant PM you. Thanks for echoing, mate.

It wasn't an echo."

lol

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By *lice_in_Blunderland OP Woman over a year ago

Staffordshire

"OMG. Shit happens. its not your fault. Maybe guilt got the better of him.

Swinging ain't that easy. So please don't beat yourself up over it - its his loss, not yours. Look to the future.

"His loss" Bingo!

Hi Clem how's you doing? Cant PM you. Thanks for echoing, mate.

It wasn't an echo.

lol"

An echo

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By *lice_in_Blunderland OP Woman over a year ago

Staffordshire

"Never been a form kind of cool as now open bisexual x

Oi get your own bandwagon

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By *lice_in_Blunderland OP Woman over a year ago

Staffordshire

"It happens look forward to the next one and it could be the one you wanted xx

Thank you sweetie x

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By *ina VonteeseTV/TS over a year ago

Leicester

Yeap guilt got the better of him

shame that you have experienced this remember it's not your fault ! Swinging is an aquired art of trust and openness .

unfortunately in today's world it's getting rarer by the day.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've got to ask this question I'm afraid?

Did you have a guffy Vag ?

Is that why he had to stop ?

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"I've got to ask this question I'm afraid?

Did you have a guffy Vag ?

Is that why he had to stop ?

Or bad breath?

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By *lice_in_Blunderland OP Woman over a year ago

Staffordshire

"Yeap guilt got the better of him

shame that you have experienced this remember it's not your fault ! Swinging is an aquired art of trust and openness .

unfortunately in today's world it's getting rarer by the day."

He's fab single!

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By *lice_in_Blunderland OP Woman over a year ago

Staffordshire

[Removed by poster at 25/03/17 01:23:20]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

You hot so its not you maybe he was cheating guilty conscious maybe...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I found this rather hilarious

I feel for you OP and I've got to ask, did he say anything after the dismount?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Now if it had been magnus magnusson,it would have been, I've started so I'll finish!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

"
Femfresh is a girls best friend.

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By *lice_in_Blunderland OP Woman over a year ago

Staffordshire

"I found this rather hilarious

I feel for you OP and I've got to ask, did he say anything after the dismount? "

I laughed! Lots!

Not

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By *ishopstippleMan over a year ago

Purley

"Yeap guilt got the better of him

shame that you have experienced this remember it's not your fault ! Swinging is an aquired art of trust and openness .

unfortunately in today's world it's getting rarer by the day.

He's fab single! "

He's a FAB lier! simples

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

sorry to hear this happened , sounds like guilty concience to me. most fellas at least get their end away first before hopping off and feigning some emergency . I am of course assuming he didnt bother his ass pleasuring you to orgasm first . So difficult to find gentlemen these days . heres a tip for future refrence, when choosing a meet , have a look through his veris and see if he in return verified his meets , i avoid any guys who display veris from ladies but seem to have give none in return , it usually signals the fact hes a plonker .

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By *lice_in_Blunderland OP Woman over a year ago

Staffordshire

Obviously totally dejected!

Femfresh is a girls best friend.

Rude.

When you're more experieced you'll get more

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Femfresh is a girls best friend.

Rude.

When you're more experieced you'll get more"
I plenty experienced young lady, This isn't a boast or brag just the truth I can go into details but I doubt anyone would be impressed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Femfresh is a girls best friend.

Rude.

When you're more experieced you'll get more"
Here's a boast for you it didn't take me long to get good either

Like a duck to water

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

It's not his loss though is it. No one is obliged to do anything on a meet. If he wasn't feeling it, for whatever reason, he was right to stop.

Not nice for you though OP. Didn't he give you any explanation ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's absolutely horrible darling I am so sorry

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that he could've possibly finished and made his excuses after"

Well... no. If someone suddenly doesn't feel like carrying on with sex then they shouldn't feel obliged to just carry on.

If you're not enjoying something you should stop. Right then and there.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't mean to play devils advocate but were you protected?, that in fact may be where his guilt lay, you are a stunner so I just don't get it. Bit spineless to just leave you like that really x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I found this rather hilarious

I feel for you OP and I've got to ask, did he say anything after the dismount? "

You'd expect so, or hope someone would. At least explain where his decision had come from. Surely he must know how upset this could make someone.

Op. I'd respect s girl if she jumped off me if 'she wasn't feeling it'. But damn, I'd want some kind of a talk afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Femfresh is a girls best friend.

If you knew anything about pussy you'd realise how bloody stupid that comment is.

Sounds like the guilts set in OP. Chalk it up to experience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd definitely say he probleys shot his bolt, and ran for the exit. Slimy little shit bag.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

the wife walked in ?

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By *mmmMaybeCouple over a year ago

West Wales

Could be you, probably him OP, just try not to let it concern you & move on to the next meet.

I reckon Fab single though, were they meet veried & was it published? Just thinking it may have been their first away match & they changed their mind?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OMG. Shit happens. its not your fault. Maybe guilt got the better of him.

Swinging ain't that easy. So please don't beat yourself up over it - its his loss, not yours. Look to the future.

"His loss" Bingo!

Hi Clem how's you doing? Cant PM you. Thanks for echoing, mate.

It wasn't an echo.

lol

An echo

An echo "

Yes?

People are odd OP. Chin up luvver

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Maybe the sight of your penis as he moved from giving you the back scuttle to missionary suprised him ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I found this rather hilarious

I feel for you OP and I've got to ask, did he say anything after the dismount? "

Now I'm picturing him standing there, feet planted on the floor, arms stretched out at shoulder height, like he'd just got off a balance beam....

Not funny OP. Better luck next time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Most likely got the guilts cant imagine anyone single on fab not atleast finishing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Omg, that's a horrible way for a meet to go - sorry you had to experience that.

Did he take the time to explain himself and fully apologise? You were owed that at the very least.

It's right that neither should feel any pressure to do or finish something but even if the sex suddenly wasn't working for him, surely he enjoyed the foreplay? the kissing? even just chatting to you as a human being? What I'm getting at is that hr could have done a lot to respect you and make you feel special, even if he wasn't enjoying the sex and had go abort.

Most likely though, as others have said.. it's probably guilt due to cheating.

Chin up, curse him by yourself and move on to better things

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By *ickey40Man over a year ago

Leicester

Obviously totally dejected!

"
I bet you'd have him back though?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's awful op. What a twunt! I'm hoping that an apology was given and some kind of explanation?

It's true that nobody is obliged to go through with a meet to the end but really that's not acceptable.

As hard as it'll be for it not to be at the forefront of your mind for the next meet, try not to let it spoil things for you. Not everyone is like that.

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By *irginieWoman over a year ago

Near Marlborough

"That's awful op. What a twunt! I'm hoping that an apology was given and some kind of explanation?

It's true that nobody is obliged to go through with a meet to the end but really that's not acceptable.

As hard as it'll be for it not to be at the forefront of your mind for the next meet, try not to let it spoil things for you. Not everyone is like that."

I'm sorry you went through that OP gotta reallly sent one's ego (ouch). But this is just wrong - he doesn't owe you anything.

It was not a nice situation but if this were the other way round and the woman decided half way through that she needed to stop we'd all be spouting "fuck yes it's your right, you said no, he was a cunt for even thinking about carrying on".

It's irrelevant his reason. He said no and stopped. We should actually respect that.

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By *lice_in_Blunderland OP Woman over a year ago

Staffordshire

After a few good cups of tea, a head wobble and a read of all the replies I have to honestly thank you all for the replies.

There's probably, in hindsight, a few explanations which I'll never know, but at my ripe old age ! I'll chalk it up to experience and draw a line under it.

Cliches ahoy!

Thank you

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"It's irrelevant his reason. He said no and stopped. We should actually respect that."

Yep. Everyone has the right to change their mind,

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By *uckandbunnyCouple over a year ago

In your bed

"That's awful op. What a twunt! I'm hoping that an apology was given and some kind of explanation?

It's true that nobody is obliged to go through with a meet to the end but really that's not acceptable.

As hard as it'll be for it not to be at the forefront of your mind for the next meet, try not to let it spoil things for you. Not everyone is like that.

I'm sorry you went through that OP gotta reallly sent one's ego (ouch). But this is just wrong - he doesn't owe you anything.

It's irrelevant his reason. He said no and stopped. We should actually respect that.

100%

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple over a year ago

Halifax

Sorry to read this op,thats horible.Big hugs from us xx

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

What?! That's awful

. I know he doesn't need to continue if it's not working for him,but that's harsh.

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple over a year ago

Bristol

"It's irrelevant his reason. He said no and stopped. We should actually respect that.

Yep. Everyone has the right to change their mind,"

This sounds like He simply wasn't enjoying it and chose to stop. Ofc when woman makes such a choice it's all about concent and how should be respected.

But a guy and it's a string of bullshit reasons like must be feeling guilt for cheating.

Least he was honest and said it wasn't for him, so better than some fab white knight who would just keep fucking anything as long as their dick got wet.

I'm sure it was a surprise op but you will find plenty of other guys

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Had this happen to me OP. I was a bit miffed at first but I find the best way to get over someone/something - is under someone else.

So, I had someone else from Fab come over within a couple of hours and the memory was erased. Job's a good un!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why do people jump to stupid conclusions that he's cheating?

He did right to stop if it didn't feel right.

I know it's harsh on OP and I would of been left feeling annoyed and frustrated but you have to respect the man for being honest. I'd rather a man stop than continue while it wasn't feeling right for him.

I'm sure you'll receive plenty of offers OP and you're next meet will more than make up for this one.

Go and arrange to meet someone else OP and have fun.

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By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby

I had the one same last week, he blamed it on nerves, no great loss

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I will admit, I was shocked when I first read the OP's post and my first thought, was what a horrible thing to do or go through!

Until, I remembered a few years ago I did the exact same thing myself, a totally different scenario I will admit, but I did have to tell someone to stop and to leave as I really wasn't feeling comfortable, and yes I did feel extremely lucky that he did as I asked, but as said before, everyone can stop anything if it is not feeling right

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"I'd definitely say he probleys shot his bolt, and ran for the exit. Slimy little shit bag. "

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By *mber GamblerCouple over a year ago

rugby

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X"

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/03/17 10:38:20]

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By *anky_PankyWoman over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

I have to say OP that in cold light of day you may have just had a lucky escape.....

He sounds rather 'odd'!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That is one of the weirdest things i have ever read.

I was sure that we men suffer from a biological imperative in that instance..... i could finish even with the fresh scent of lady gas in the air

hahaha

Seems like his loss though op

Just to clarify....were you giggling as he was going? Because without context laughter during sex is not a good sign lol

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

"I will admit, I was shocked when I first read the OP's post and my first thought, was what a horrible thing to do or go through!

As others have said, everyone should stop if it isn't right. I think in this case the OP description of the abruptness, is the odball thing. It only takes a few seconds to communicate something more meaningful to someone who you are having sex with.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

I think people shouldn't jump to conclusions when they only know half the story. If this was a man complaining that a woman he was fucking suddenly changed her mind and he felt upset by that he'd get torn to shreds. People certainly wouldn't be saying "her loss"...

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

Because it helps the OP get over it, he left in a way that hurt her! Yes everyone has a right to stop (though I'd hope it would not go so far if they didn't feel compatible) but everyone should do so in a way that is KIND to the other person.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/03/17 10:48:27]

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I will admit, I was shocked when I first read the OP's post and my first thought, was what a horrible thing to do or go through!

Exactly, it is a act that brings a duty of care IMO.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

dont worry about it not your hang up its his block and move on lovely

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By *mber GamblerCouple over a year ago

rugby

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

Because who the fuck does that to somebody!!. What he couldn't figure out if he fancied her or not before he stuck his cock in her?. Im sure this woman was not such a bad shag that he had to pull out right then. Ive had shit shags myself and you know what i do. I hurry it up until it's over then i politely leave. I would never treat somebody like this prick did. He shouldn't have done that to her.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

How wasn't he kind? He didn't tell her how she had turned him off.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

How wasn't he kind? "

Well if you cannot see how 'Sorry not for me' is a totally inadequate, inconsiderate way to end something like that then not much point me trying to explain.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

How wasn't he kind?

Well if you cannot see how 'Sorry not for me' is a totally inadequate, inconsiderate way to end something like that then not much point me trying to explain."

Would she have preferred "you're breath is making me gag" or "you're so loose i can't feel anything" or even "you remind me of my mum"?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Was,he blind

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

Man wants to stop during sex =

his fault.

Woman wants to stop during sex = man's fault

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By *lice_in_Blunderland OP Woman over a year ago

Staffordshire

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

Well this escalated quickly......

Thank you for all the positive spot on comments. It's lovely to know people understand how I felt and actually care enough to respond

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

How wasn't he kind?

Well if you cannot see how 'Sorry not for me' is a totally inadequate, inconsiderate way to end something like that then not much point me trying to explain.

Would she have preferred "you're breath is making me gag" or "you're so loose i can't feel anything" or even "you remind me of my mum"? "

I think you need to Google the word 'kind' - you seem to have no concept of what it means.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andy6677Man over a year ago

crewe

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

Well this escalated quickly......

Thank you for all the positive spot on comments. It's lovely to know people understand how I felt and actually care enough to respond

Still should of had decency to finish not leave you hanging like that x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

Pointless trying to explain to you. People learn how to communicate in a way that conveys what they want without being crass or rude. In swinging people tend to know that even more so.

Your inability to see there is a middle way of saying things, just highlights you as someone who either doesn't understand or doesn't care.

MrB

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

How wasn't he kind?

Well if you cannot see how 'Sorry not for me' is a totally inadequate, inconsiderate way to end something like that then not much point me trying to explain.

Would she have preferred "you're breath is making me gag" or "you're so loose i can't feel anything" or even "you remind me of my mum"?

I think you need to Google the word 'kind' - you seem to have no concept of what it means. "

How would you have done it?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

Well this escalated quickly......

Thank you for all the positive spot on comments. It's lovely to know people understand how I felt and actually care enough to respond

Still should of had decency to finish not leave you hanging like that x"

Sounds a little non consensual. If a woman isnt into it should she lay back and let the guy finish even if the situation is upsetting her?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

Pointless trying to explain to you. People learn how to communicate in a way that conveys what they want without being crass or rude. In swinging people tend to know that even more so.

Your inability to see there is a middle way of saying things, just highlights you as someone who either doesn't understand or doesn't care.

MrB"

How would you have stopped it? You're up to your nuts in a woman and suddenly you're horrified to be in that situation. What do you say? And as we only know half the story from the spurned party how do you trust their version of events?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Man wants to stop during sex =

his fault.

Woman wants to stop during sex = man's fault"

Not necessarily. When a creep would not stop trying to enter me without a condom - too right, he did not deserve one jot of consideration as I walked out!

But when I was hung up on someone else and had to stop - mea culpa, that guy got a full and apologetic explanation and was totally gentle and charming. When one old fb could not continue with me because he was so cut up over the loss of a gf, I just held him as he cried and we fell asleep holding each other.

Just be kind.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe he came and covered it up by acting like a douchebag.

Or it was guilt.

Either way, you're well rid!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ackhammer87Man over a year ago

Walsall

"Maybe he came and covered it up by acting like a douchebag.

Or it was guilt.

Either way, you're well rid!"

If he I'm so quick shame on him

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"Man wants to stop during sex =

his fault.

Woman wants to stop during sex = man's fault

Not necessarily. When a creep would not stop trying to enter me without a condom - too right, he did not deserve one jot of consideration as I walked out!

Just be kind."

So as you don't know what was going on inside his head, is it fair to sit in judgement over him?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Man wants to stop during sex =

his fault.

Woman wants to stop during sex = man's fault

Not necessarily. When a creep would not stop trying to enter me without a condom - too right, he did not deserve one jot of consideration as I walked out!

Just be kind.

So as you don't know what was going on inside his head, is it fair to sit in judgement over him? "

Judgemental folk? On here?!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *mber GamblerCouple over a year ago

rugby

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

Well i already said what I'd do. He was shagging her anyway so yes he should have carried on (quickly) for her sake and then politely left. The op said they had known and chatted with each other a while and they got on great, so I'm assuming they had some feeling for each other. So he should have been more decent about it. The way he ended it was horrible.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"Man wants to stop during sex =

his fault.

Woman wants to stop during sex = man's fault

Not necessarily. When a creep would not stop trying to enter me without a condom - too right, he did not deserve one jot of consideration as I walked out!

Just be kind.

So as you don't know what was going on inside his head, is it fair to sit in judgement over him?

Judgemental folk? On here?!!

Amazing isn't it! All based on half a story. I think he got off lightly. Imagine meeting someone who then publishes details of the meet on the forum.... hopefuly he'll come on later and tell us all his side. It seems to be fine to share..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

Again. Put the boot on the other foot will you. If he turned her off during intercourse or she was suddenly upset should she have "let him carry on for his sake"?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

So if it was the other way round ?

And if it was a woman and for whatever reason found she wasnt into the guy while having sex and wanted to stop?

You think she should shut up put up and let the guy carry on until the hes finished??

Because thats what your saying?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *mber GamblerCouple over a year ago

rugby

"Man wants to stop during sex =

his fault.

Woman wants to stop during sex = man's fault

Not necessarily. When a creep would not stop trying to enter me without a condom - too right, he did not deserve one jot of consideration as I walked out!

Just be kind.

So as you don't know what was going on inside his head, is it fair to sit in judgement over him?

Judgemental folk? On here?!!

That's what we have though isn't it. Half a story, and we make of it what we will. You have your views and others have theirs. I am pretty sure I know why she posted on the forum. It was because she was upset and confused, so she wanted some opinions on why it might have happened to her. I would love to hear his side. He can do that if he wants. But i can only go on what i have been told so far.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *mber GamblerCouple over a year ago

rugby

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

So if it was the other way round ?

And if it was a woman and for whatever reason found she wasnt into the guy while having sex and wanted to stop?

You think she should shut up put up and let the guy carry on until the hes finished??

Because thats what your saying?

Yes that is what I'm saying. I have already said that i have done it myself to spare the other persons feelings. He was already in the middle of shagging her. What's a few more minutes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind at any time. And a man's to "carry on for the sake of the woman"...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

So if it was the other way round ?

And if it was a woman and for whatever reason found she wasnt into the guy while having sex and wanted to stop?

You think she should shut up put up and let the guy carry on until the hes finished??

Because thats what your saying?

Yes that is what I'm saying. I have already said that i have done it myself to spare the other persons feelings. He was already in the middle of shagging her. What's a few more minutes. "

Oh my god.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Man wants to stop during sex =

his fault.

Woman wants to stop during sex = man's fault

Not necessarily. When a creep would not stop trying to enter me without a condom - too right, he did not deserve one jot of consideration as I walked out!

Just be kind.

So as you don't know what was going on inside his head, is it fair to sit in judgement over him? "

I'm not - I'm taking the OP's word at face value for the purpose of this thread and she was obviously hurt.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im sat here shaking my head at comments in this thread.

As a man, if I had posted 'should of had decency to let you finish' as a response to a post about a woman wishing to 'stop halfway through', the vilification would have been legendary.

As a man, I have exactly the same right to stop, at any point, or to ask for someone to stop, at ANY point. Without expectation of having to give a reason because consent is withdrawn. Calling out a woman for that - labelling her frigid or a prick tease is horrendous. Labelling a man as impotent or a douchebag is just as horrendous.

Some folk need to re-read what they have written and think what their expectations would be if they found themselves in the same situation - or that the roles were reversed. I suspect they would want to viewed very, very differently.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"Man wants to stop during sex =

his fault.

Woman wants to stop during sex = man's fault

Not necessarily. When a creep would not stop trying to enter me without a condom - too right, he did not deserve one jot of consideration as I walked out!

Just be kind.

So as you don't know what was going on inside his head, is it fair to sit in judgement over him?

I'm not - I'm taking the OP's word at face value for the purpose of this thread and she was obviously hurt."

Fuck went wrong. #1stworldproblems

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"Im sat here shaking my head at comments in this thread.

As a man, if I had posted 'should of had decency to let you finish' as a response to a post about a woman wishing to 'stop halfway through', the vilification would have been legendary.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lice_in_Blunderland OP Woman over a year ago

Staffordshire

"Man wants to stop during sex =

his fault.

Woman wants to stop during sex = man's fault

Not necessarily. When a creep would not stop trying to enter me without a condom - too right, he did not deserve one jot of consideration as I walked out!

Just be kind.

So as you don't know what was going on inside his head, is it fair to sit in judgement over him?

Judgemental folk? On here?!!

Ermmm. Published details?! Have I really?!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

So if it was the other way round ?

And if it was a woman and for whatever reason found she wasnt into the guy while having sex and wanted to stop?

You think she should shut up put up and let the guy carry on until the hes finished??

Because thats what your saying?

Yes that is what I'm saying. I have already said that i have done it myself to spare the other persons feelings. He was already in the middle of shagging her. What's a few more minutes. "

Lol there are certainly times I would far rather stop and just let the guy finish. That's why I'm not doing nsa if I can avoid it, it's too variable.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

So if it was the other way round ?

And if it was a woman and for whatever reason found she wasnt into the guy while having sex and wanted to stop?

You think she should shut up put up and let the guy carry on until the hes finished??

Because thats what your saying?

Yes that is what I'm saying. I have already said that i have done it myself to spare the other persons feelings. He was already in the middle of shagging her. What's a few more minutes. "

Whats a few more minutes???

Its called non consensual and a sex crime

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

Imagine the scene. You've taken your wife to a club. You're watching her with a guy, you think things are going well. She turns to you and mouths "i don't like it, i want him to stop" you reply "ok, just a few more minutes, let him finish for his sake, he might feel hurt"....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Man wants to stop during sex =

his fault.

Woman wants to stop during sex = man's fault

Not necessarily. When a creep would not stop trying to enter me without a condom - too right, he did not deserve one jot of consideration as I walked out!

Just be kind.

So as you don't know what was going on inside his head, is it fair to sit in judgement over him?

I'm not - I'm taking the OP's word at face value for the purpose of this thread and she was obviously hurt.

Fuck went wrong. #1stworldproblems"

Who fucked you up so totally?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

So if it was the other way round ?

And if it was a woman and for whatever reason found she wasnt into the guy while having sex and wanted to stop?

You think she should shut up put up and let the guy carry on until the hes finished??

Because thats what your saying?

Yes that is what I'm saying. I have already said that i have done it myself to spare the other persons feelings. He was already in the middle of shagging her. What's a few more minutes.

Lol there are certainly times I would far rather stop and just let the guy finish. That's why I'm not doing nsa if I can avoid it, it's too variable. "

Its called self respect.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

He changed his mind so he must be married

Or he just didn't want to fuck you anymore.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"Man wants to stop during sex =

his fault.

Woman wants to stop during sex = man's fault

Not necessarily. When a creep would not stop trying to enter me without a condom - too right, he did not deserve one jot of consideration as I walked out!

Just be kind.

So as you don't know what was going on inside his head, is it fair to sit in judgement over him?

I'm not - I'm taking the OP's word at face value for the purpose of this thread and she was obviously hurt.

Fuck went wrong. #1stworldproblems

Who fucked you up so totally? "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"He changed his mind so he must be married

Or he just didn't want to fuck you anymore.

Either way. Rotten to the core.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im sat here shaking my head at comments in this thread.

As a man, if I had posted 'should of had decency to let you finish' as a response to a post about a woman wishing to 'stop halfway through', the vilification would have been legendary.

And the "his loss" comments are fucked up too

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would much rather a man got off and said sorry this isn't happening for me/I can't carry on, than bang away trying to come and get it over with. I respect honesty and am perfectly aware that sometimes a man might be put off by me or my body. I'd like to think I could read his body language and ask if he wants to stop anyway.

I've asked men, just before we get naked, if they are sure they want to carry on, to give them a get out, right up to the last minute.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *b coupleCouple over a year ago

southampton

"OMG. Shit happens. its not your fault. Maybe guilt got the better of him.

Swinging ain't that easy. So please don't beat yourself up over it - its his loss, not yours. Look to the future."

Couldn't of said it better myself.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

So if it was the other way round ?

And if it was a woman and for whatever reason found she wasnt into the guy while having sex and wanted to stop?

You think she should shut up put up and let the guy carry on until the hes finished??

Because thats what your saying?

Yes that is what I'm saying. I have already said that i have done it myself to spare the other persons feelings. He was already in the middle of shagging her. What's a few more minutes.

Whats a few more minutes???

Its called non consensual and a sex crime

Not if they don't say something.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OMG. Shit happens. its not your fault. Maybe guilt got the better of him.

Swinging ain't that easy. So please don't beat yourself up over it - its his loss, not yours. Look to the future.

Couldn't of said it better myself. "

Has he lost out though? He didn't want to carry on, how has he lost out?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

So if it was the other way round ?

And if it was a woman and for whatever reason found she wasnt into the guy while having sex and wanted to stop?

You think she should shut up put up and let the guy carry on until the hes finished??

Because thats what your saying?

Yes that is what I'm saying. I have already said that i have done it myself to spare the other persons feelings. He was already in the middle of shagging her. What's a few more minutes.

Lol there are certainly times I would far rather stop and just let the guy finish. That's why I'm not doing nsa if I can avoid it, it's too variable.

Its called self respect. "

No, just crap sex with strangers - who needs it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

So if it was the other way round ?

And if it was a woman and for whatever reason found she wasnt into the guy while having sex and wanted to stop?

You think she should shut up put up and let the guy carry on until the hes finished??

Because thats what your saying?

Yes that is what I'm saying. I have already said that i have done it myself to spare the other persons feelings. He was already in the middle of shagging her. What's a few more minutes.

Lol there are certainly times I would far rather stop and just let the guy finish. That's why I'm not doing nsa if I can avoid it, it's too variable.

Its called self respect.

No, just crap sex with strangers - who needs it."

Well I haven't been in that situation. So i bow to your experience.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

Maybe she just didn't do it for him in the end and he thought....

I'm not enjoying this scenario with this person so I better stop.

Why can't it be as simple as that ??

Poor Guy gets the blame again

Why assume he must be a cheater etc ?

What should he have done ?

carried on just because he felt he had to?

Tell her ...

Sorry love I've gotta stop cos your vag is huge or stinks or your crap in the sack?

So if it was the other way round ?

And if it was a woman and for whatever reason found she wasnt into the guy while having sex and wanted to stop?

You think she should shut up put up and let the guy carry on until the hes finished??

Because thats what your saying?

Yes that is what I'm saying. I have already said that i have done it myself to spare the other persons feelings. He was already in the middle of shagging her. What's a few more minutes.

Lol there are certainly times I would far rather stop and just let the guy finish. That's why I'm not doing nsa if I can avoid it, it's too variable.

Its called self respect.

No, just crap sex with strangers - who needs it.

Well I haven't been in that situation. So i bow to your experience. "

Some people are more easily pleased than I am for sure, but that does not mean anyone should be callous about it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Something obviously went wrong and he has every right to stop straight away. Everyone has the right to stop.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"He changed his mind so he must be married

Or he just didn't want to fuck you anymore.

Either way. Rotten to the core."

Yes; shame on him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wtf, that's ridiculous. I have no idea what he must have been thinking. His loss though.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"Wtf, that's ridiculous. I have no idea what he must have been thinking. His loss though."

Oh more than likely.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *otlipsandSirCouple over a year ago

Manchester

"Something obviously went wrong and he has every right to stop straight away. Everyone has the right to stop. "

this , totally this !

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wtf, that's ridiculous. I have no idea what he must have been thinking. His loss though."

Why is it his loss? He did exactly what he wanted to do, she was left frustrated I presume so in reality, it appears it was her loss

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

Nobody is saying he doesn't have the right.

Some people want to take it as a man bashing thread.

My only thought is, there are ways to do and say things.

It's normally part of maturing and experience. It isn't about doing things you dont want. It's about doing things in an appropriate way.

I don't know how people who don't understand empathy manage in swinging.

MrB

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wtf, that's ridiculous. I have no idea what he must have been thinking. His loss though."

You really do not have any idea. Might've been something deep and meaningful. Incredibly profound. Unless he shows up and tells us we may never know. Until then, let's keep piling on the hurt folks! Good sport.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"Wtf, that's ridiculous. I have no idea what he must have been thinking. His loss though.

'Tis the way of fab.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nobody is saying he doesn't have the right.

Some people want to take it as a man bashing thread.

My only thought is, there are ways to do and say things.

It's normally part of maturing and experience. It isn't about doing things you dont want. It's about doing things in an appropriate way.

I don't know how people who don't understand empathy manage in swinging.

MrB"

Jesus has a point though. The OP was left guessing what went wrong but giving honest feedback is not really something most people can handle. So is the empathetic way to explain what happened/your negative reaction, which may potentially cause offense, or is it to make a quick excuse and leave, which will leave the person perplexed but will allow them to move on quicker?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ilk_TreMan over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

(GRUNCH)...and if it was a woman who suddenly felt the need to quit during sex, should SHE carry on?

Would she be classed as cheating? A cock tease? An abuse survivor?

Let's take a walk in this guys shoes...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"(GRUNCH)...and if it was a woman who suddenly felt the need to quit during sex, should SHE carry on?

Would she be classed as cheating? A cock tease? An abuse survivor?

Let's take a walk in this guys shoes..."

Woah! Steady on there fella!! That involves folks taking a bit of objective consideration on the matter doesn't it?!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ilk_TreMan over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"(GRUNCH)...and if it was a woman who suddenly felt the need to quit during sex, should SHE carry on?

Would she be classed as cheating? A cock tease? An abuse survivor?

Let's take a walk in this guys shoes...

Woah! Steady on there fella!! That involves folks taking a bit of objective consideration on the matter doesn't it?!

Sorry. I think I posted this into the wrong forum...

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Nobody is saying he doesn't have the right.

Some people want to take it as a man bashing thread.

My only thought is, there are ways to do and say things.

It's normally part of maturing and experience. It isn't about doing things you dont want. It's about doing things in an appropriate way.

I don't know how people who don't understand empathy manage in swinging.

MrB"

Or life to be honest....

Well said. We should never forget having sex is actually a big deal. If I chat to someone over weeks, meet them for a social, become friends, develop some rapport, and we decide we want to more forward to a play meet because we have agreed to a MUTUAL pleasing of each other, then I believe there is a duty of care to be honest, kind and considerate of each other, and yes empathetic - that is just basic human decency in my book.

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By *SD 2000Couple over a year ago

andover

This happened to us once the guy suddenly said he was over excited and left! His loss I'd say

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nobody is saying he doesn't have the right.

Some people want to take it as a man bashing thread.

My only thought is, there are ways to do and say things.

It's normally part of maturing and experience. It isn't about doing things you dont want. It's about doing things in an appropriate way.

I don't know how people who don't understand empathy manage in swinging.

MrB

Or life to be honest....

Maybe the reason why he wanted to stop would have been more hurtful to the OP so he decided not to say anything to avoid hurting her feelings even more.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

"Nobody is saying he doesn't have the right.

Some people want to take it as a man bashing thread.

My only thought is, there are ways to do and say things.

It's normally part of maturing and experience. It isn't about doing things you dont want. It's about doing things in an appropriate way.

I don't know how people who don't understand empathy manage in swinging.

MrB

The two options aren't

a) 'I'm leaving'

b) some crude physical comment.

There are dozens of quick simple, non-insulting things that can be said to leave there and then.

It just seems common sense to me.

MrB

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

What were his exact words to you?

Can you remember?

And what happened after you stopped ?

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"Wtf, that's ridiculous. I have no idea what he must have been thinking. His loss though.

As a guy, surely he is obliged to stay and pound the fuck out of her. Even if he didn't fancy her or feel right...right?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eliWoman over a year ago

Bit embarrassing I'm sure but I think it's good that he didn't just carry on for the sake of it... you'll be fine OP.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X"

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ilk_TreMan over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"Wtf, that's ridiculous. I have no idea what he must have been thinking. His loss though.

As a guy, surely he is obliged to stay and pound the fuck out of her. Even if he didn't fancy her or feel right...right? "

You're smart. I like you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nobody is saying he doesn't have the right.

Some people want to take it as a man bashing thread.

My only thought is, there are ways to do and say things.

It's normally part of maturing and experience. It isn't about doing things you dont want. It's about doing things in an appropriate way.

I don't know how people who don't understand empathy manage in swinging.

MrB

Or life to be honest....

Maybe the reason why he wanted to stop would have been more hurtful to the OP so he decided not to say anything to avoid hurting her feelings even more.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nobody is saying he doesn't have the right.

Some people want to take it as a man bashing thread.

My only thought is, there are ways to do and say things.

It's normally part of maturing and experience. It isn't about doing things you dont want. It's about doing things in an appropriate way.

I don't know how people who don't understand empathy manage in swinging.

MrB"

He did show empathy. He apologised. He doesn't owe her a full explanation of why if he doesn't want to. It was NSA sex. Not a full on relationship. He did the right thing.

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

"Nobody is saying he doesn't have the right.

Some people want to take it as a man bashing thread.

My only thought is, there are ways to do and say things.

It's normally part of maturing and experience. It isn't about doing things you dont want. It's about doing things in an appropriate way.

I don't know how people who don't understand empathy manage in swinging.

MrB

He did show empathy. He apologised. He doesn't owe her a full explanation of why if he doesn't want to. It was NSA sex. Not a full on relationship. He did the right thing."

He did the right thing leaving. There are ways to speak to people.

These basics of communication should be second nature to most experienced adults.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

Because it is easier to come up with the 'There There Honey, it was totally all his fault' oh and then there is 'It was his loss' ie the white knighting words for 'I'd come and fuck you and make you feel special'

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By *ackhammer87Man over a year ago

Walsall

"Wtf, that's ridiculous. I have no idea what he must have been thinking. His loss though.

As a guy, surely he is obliged to stay and pound the fuck out of her. Even if he didn't fancy her or feel right...right? "

No he did the rite thing and pulled out and not just carried on pounding her xx

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

I don't think they are - they are just offering support to the OP, I would regardless of sex. The OP did not denigrate him as I have seen some men do in the same circumstances - she just showed her own vulnerability to hurt. That gets my respect

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By *ackhammer87Man over a year ago

Walsall

OP the amount of time he was in your pussy did you enjoy it xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/03/17 13:55:35]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nobody is saying he doesn't have the right.

Some people want to take it as a man bashing thread.

My only thought is, there are ways to do and say things.

It's normally part of maturing and experience. It isn't about doing things you dont want. It's about doing things in an appropriate way.

I don't know how people who don't understand empathy manage in swinging.

MrB

He did show empathy. He apologised. He doesn't owe her a full explanation of why if he doesn't want to. It was NSA sex. Not a full on relationship. He did the right thing.

He did the right thing leaving. There are ways to speak to people.

These basics of communication should be second nature to most experienced adults."

He said sorry. That should suffice.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

Hurt? It's NSA. Maybe swinging isn't the right thing if it leads to hurt. Surely this is about fun.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ackhammer87Man over a year ago

Walsall

"Nobody is saying he doesn't have the right.

Some people want to take it as a man bashing thread.

My only thought is, there are ways to do and say things.

It's normally part of maturing and experience. It isn't about doing things you dont want. It's about doing things in an appropriate way.

I don't know how people who don't understand empathy manage in swinging.

MrB

He did show empathy. He apologised. He doesn't owe her a full explanation of why if he doesn't want to. It was NSA sex. Not a full on relationship. He did the right thing.

He did the right thing leaving. There are ways to speak to people.

These basics of communication should be second nature to most experienced adults.

He said sorry. That should suffice."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wtf, that's ridiculous. I have no idea what he must have been thinking. His loss though.

'Tis the way of fab."

What i don't understand is how he got to that point and then decided it wasn't for him.

Of course he has the right to stop when ever he liked but how do you get so far as actually having sex with someone before you decide they aren't for you.

It's a person you are dealing with not a car you are taking for a test drive.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

Not at all, I just don't understand how you could get so far as actually having sex with someone before deciding they aren't for you. He should have worked that out a long time before he ever put his cock in her.

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By *Q_GentMan over a year ago

Manchester, City Centre

"OP the amount of time he was in your pussy did you enjoy it xx"

Is that a serious question?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nobody is saying he doesn't have the right.

Some people want to take it as a man bashing thread.

My only thought is, there are ways to do and say things.

It's normally part of maturing and experience. It isn't about doing things you dont want. It's about doing things in an appropriate way.

I don't know how people who don't understand empathy manage in swinging.

MrB

The two options aren't

a) 'I'm leaving'

b) some crude physical comment.

There are dozens of quick simple, non-insulting things that can be said to leave there and then.

It just seems common sense to me.

MrB"

The OP hasn't given enough details for any of us to assess the speed or abruptness of his exit, and we can safely assume that her feelings of dejection have coloured her narrative.

I am curious about the dozen quick&simple non-insulting things you can say to someone when eg. the reason you want to stop is that you are disgusted by their smell (which can be a purely physical reaction, not a result of them being unwashed etc). When do these polite things get so far off the truth that they are plain dishonesty, and bullshitting someone for the sake of keeping them placated? How is that empathy?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

Maybe it was the way she behaved during sex that put him off.

He wasn't going to know that beforehand.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

My bet is trying to push through with something they found uncomfortable (whatever that may be, physical or emotional) until they could no longer handle it. Probably nothing to do with the OP and more to do with their lack of experience (oddly enough casual doesn't come naturally to everyone).

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

Theyd been drinking having a laugh etc.

They got back things moved on and when he started fucking her he decided that it wasnt what he wanted for reasons only he will know?

Could be any amount of different reasons?

But end of the day he didnt want to carry on fucking her and thats that.

These things happen.

Doesnt mean hes at any fault.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *Q_GentMan over a year ago

Manchester, City Centre

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

From the title of the thread I imagine that the OP was after support not explanations.

Also the majority of the support or "white knighting" had been from other women so your argument doesn't hold much water

Whatever the reason behind the guys sudden change it left the OP feeling dejected so it doesn't matter whose fault it is or guessing if he's married or cheating or whatever...

All that needs to be said is "OP are you feeling ok?"

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"Wtf, that's ridiculous. I have no idea what he must have been thinking. His loss though.

As a guy, surely he is obliged to stay and pound the fuck out of her. Even if he didn't fancy her or feel right...right?

You're smart. I like you.

Honey is smart, be like Honey.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

Theyd been drinking having a laugh etc.

They got back things moved on and when he started fucking her he decided that it wasnt what he wanted for reasons only he will know?

Could be any amount of different reasons?

But end of the day he didnt want to carry on fucking her and thats that.

These things happen.

Doesnt mean hes at any fault.

Very true I agree, but there's also a way to do things so as not to unnecessarily hurt someone. What he did isn't an issue it's the way it was done I find strange.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ackDMissMorganCouple over a year ago

Halifax

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

Maybe it was the way she behaved during sex that put him off.

He wasn't going to know that beforehand."

Yes I can accept that may be the case and he has every right to stop but there are better ways to get yourself out of the situation which wouldn't have left the OP feeling shit.

I've been in a similar situation and just made the excuse of not feeling well, no offence or hurt caused to anyone.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

Maybe it was the way she behaved during sex that put him off.

He wasn't going to know that beforehand.

Yes I can accept that may be the case and he has every right to stop but there are better ways to get yourself out of the situation which wouldn't have left the OP feeling shit.

I've been in a similar situation and just made the excuse of not feeling well, no offence or hurt caused to anyone."

Lying to someone, tut tut

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

Theyd been drinking having a laugh etc.

They got back things moved on and when he started fucking her he decided that it wasnt what he wanted for reasons only he will know?

Could be any amount of different reasons?

But end of the day he didnt want to carry on fucking her and thats that.

These things happen.

Doesnt mean hes at any fault.

Very true I agree, but there's also a way to do things so as not to unnecessarily hurt someone. What he did isn't an issue it's the way it was done I find strange."

For all we know he may have just said sonething like....

Sorry love but Im not feeling it Im going to have to stop... Sorry

We will never know the true facts.

But what we are sure off is that the poster is understandably a bit hurt at being rejected and its knocked her self confidence.

But thats life .

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By *ackhammer87Man over a year ago

Walsall

OP what position was you in when he pulled out ? Xx

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple over a year ago

Halifax

"OP what position was you in when he pulled out ? Xx"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

Hurt? It's NSA. Maybe swinging isn't the right thing if it leads to hurt. Surely this is about fun."

Many people here are normal, feeling adults - of course they can get hurt, only the hard-hearted are immune.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

Theyd been drinking having a laugh etc.

They got back things moved on and when he started fucking her he decided that it wasnt what he wanted for reasons only he will know?

Could be any amount of different reasons?

But end of the day he didnt want to carry on fucking her and thats that.

These things happen.

Doesnt mean hes at any fault.

Very true I agree, but there's also a way to do things so as not to unnecessarily hurt someone. What he did isn't an issue it's the way it was done I find strange."

Exactly. He may have lacked empathy, or it is possible he did it in a kind way but the OP was just left feeling raw regardless - whatever exactly happened, it was the OP that came here asking for empathy/sympathy, so it seems right to offer it to her. There are two sides to every story - but that should not preclude offering comfort to someone who is hurting.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

Obviously totally dejected!

Oh my god. That's awful. No wonder you feel like shit. I would too. But he's probably got a girlfriend or something and was overcome with shame. I hope you feel better soon. X

What a negative attitude to assume because he's changed his mind he is a cheater?

If this was a man everyone would be supporting the woman and saying she did the right thing in stopping it. For goodness sake, why are people so negative against men ?

Would you have the same respect if she was talking about a meet that you'd shared with her that had gone sour on the forum?

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

No matter what happened. I don't believe that it's right that you should talk about a meet that's occurred in the last 12 hours on the forum.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Yes, many people here would have lashed out at him for leaving her hurting, and she did not - kudos to her. If he sees the thread, it might raise his pulse for sure, and of course he could defend himself or explain, but she has not named him so IMO she has done nothing wrong in asking for moral support on fab after a fab meet went wrong.

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