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grounds for turning down offers of sex
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
what are yours ?
and before anyone starts yes some of us guys do get to turn down offers of play .
I go off of my gut if it says I'm not sure I will op for another social but the truth is if my guts says no after that first offer
its unlikely to change due to the changing of the narrative being the reason why my gut says no
as a top I keep notes on who I'm chatting to based off of the chats its very easy for me to see that change in narrative because of that fact hence my mind and gut saying somethings not right here which is normally the kiss of death for sex with that person when it comes to me topping them or even having sex with them .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what are yours ?
and before anyone starts yes some of us guys do get to turn down offers of play .
I go off of my gut if it says I'm not sure I will op for another social but the truth is if my guts says no after that first offer
its unlikely to change due to the changing of the narrative being the reason why my gut says no
as a top I keep notes on who I'm chatting to based off of the chats its very easy for me to see that change in narrative because of that fact hence my mind and gut saying somethings not right here which is normally the kiss of death for sex with that person when it comes to me topping them or even having sex with them .
"
I don't think I've had a social or meet and not wanted to take things further but that's only because I'm really selective before I even have a social.
I have to get a very good feel for someone and wether we will click or not before I arrange something. I think one of the reasons a lot of women/couples suffer from no shows is because of guys who jump into arranging a meet too quickly then have second thoughts. |
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Physical attraction,
They are looking for more then sex and I would only like to have sex,
A good friends ex gf or wife,
They are coming across as bat shit crazy,
There are probably more that I cant think of at the moment |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"If I meet someone and feel no attraction I'm fine with saying so. I am also fine with chatting anyway, as its good to get out and have a chinwag."
Although, to actually respond to the OP  , its the guys who don't take no for an answer where it won't be going any further. |
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By *aroleBaskinWoman
over a year ago
somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen |
"what are yours ?
and before anyone starts yes some of us guys do get to turn down offers of play .
I go off of my gut if it says I'm not sure I will op for another social but the truth is if my guts says no after that first offer
its unlikely to change due to the changing of the narrative being the reason why my gut says no
as a top I keep notes on who I'm chatting to based off of the chats its very easy for me to see that change in narrative because of that fact hence my mind and gut saying somethings not right here which is normally the kiss of death for sex with that person when it comes to me topping them or even having sex with them .
I don't think I've had a social or meet and not wanted to take things further but that's only because I'm really selective before I even have a social.
I have to get a very good feel for someone and wether we will click or not before I arrange something. I think one of the reasons a lot of women/couples suffer from no shows is because of guys who jump into arranging a meet too quickly then have second thoughts."
Exactly the same for me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've various reasons to why I haven't taken things further with someone , normally it's a gut feeling based on something they have said.
I cancelled a meet a couple of wks ago because the night before he's asked if I had any substances to use. That doesn't float my boat at all and his follow up statement sealed his fate ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Turn down the offer of sex!, turn down the offer of sex!, turn down the offer of sex!....no, sorry, I still don't understand the question, what am I missing? |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"what are yours ?
and before anyone starts yes some of us guys do get to turn down offers of play .
I go off of my gut if it says I'm not sure I will op for another social but the truth is if my guts says no after that first offer
its unlikely to change due to the changing of the narrative being the reason why my gut says no
as a top I keep notes on who I'm chatting to based off of the chats its very easy for me to see that change in narrative because of that fact hence my mind and gut saying somethings not right here which is normally the kiss of death for sex with that person when it comes to me topping them or even having sex with them .
I don't think I've had a social or meet and not wanted to take things further but that's only because I'm really selective before I even have a social.
I have to get a very good feel for someone and wether we will click or not before I arrange something. I think one of the reasons a lot of women/couples suffer from no shows is because of guys who jump into arranging a meet too quickly then have second thoughts."
i don't rush anything fella one of my long term fwb who I've played with for over 3 years now was a 6 month courtship over 8 or 9 socials before i agreed to top her
not everyone i have topped took me that long to decide i was willing to take on the responsibility of being there top but as i see toping someone as a commitment from me to explore there sexual make up to the absolute limit i need to know its what i truly wish to do and that they are right for me ,
i think like this because i understand how hard it is for some subs to surrender that much control over to another so i dam well best be sure I'm willing to give them what they need from me in a way they need it before i lay a finger on them on grounds of respect for them and there needs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I probably wouldn't even meet anyone that I didn't feel some sort of attraction for...
I can tell usually from just chatting if I want to meet them or not..
I have never met anyone and decided not to meet them again for sex or even another social |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what are yours ?
and before anyone starts yes some of us guys do get to turn down offers of play .
I go off of my gut if it says I'm not sure I will op for another social but the truth is if my guts says no after that first offer
its unlikely to change due to the changing of the narrative being the reason why my gut says no
as a top I keep notes on who I'm chatting to based off of the chats its very easy for me to see that change in narrative because of that fact hence my mind and gut saying somethings not right here which is normally the kiss of death for sex with that person when it comes to me topping them or even having sex with them .
"
I think OP, that your circumstance a a little bit different to others because you are a 'dom' and you want them to trust you so you need them to believe what you tell them in order for you to be able to do what ever it is you do...so maybe numerous meets are what it takes for them to understand what will eventually happen and that they will be eventually happy for you to do what ever it is you do...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tell them the truth op your to ugly to sleep with. I was always taught never to lie. 
I'm ugly so that's me out of the running  "
Sorry op I didn't mean you ugly you know what i think about you.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1. Asking for bareback
2. Constant comments about race (yes it happens)
3. Asking me to do something I don't like multiple times
4. "Jokes" about my weight/body
Instant turn offs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're pretty easy going. Once something goes as far as a meet, then the decision is more or less made. Lots of people saying asking for bareback is a deal breaker - solution to that is insist on a condom, in my opinion.
Mrs |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"what are yours ?
and before anyone starts yes some of us guys do get to turn down offers of play .
I go off of my gut if it says I'm not sure I will op for another social but the truth is if my guts says no after that first offer
its unlikely to change due to the changing of the narrative being the reason why my gut says no
as a top I keep notes on who I'm chatting to based off of the chats its very easy for me to see that change in narrative because of that fact hence my mind and gut saying somethings not right here which is normally the kiss of death for sex with that person when it comes to me topping them or even having sex with them .
I think OP, that your circumstance a a little bit different to others because you are a 'dom' and you want them to trust you so you need them to believe what you tell them in order for you to be able to do what ever it is you do...so maybe numerous meets are what it takes for them to understand what will eventually happen and that they will be eventually happy for you to do what ever it is you do... "
trust goes both ways though and just because someone is comfortable enough with me to wish to be topped by me doesn't mean I'm comfortable enough with them to want to top them .
despite what it may seem from some of my posts on here I'm a sensitive soul very empathic very sensitive to the energy and needs of another this makes me very respectful of the needs of another and because of that I need to know that the person I'm thinking of topping is wired up similarly to me or its just not going to work for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just don't fancy them.
Explaining my attraction to someone is complicated. It can be their looks/personality, one more than the other.
So to actually turn someone down, I wouldn't find them attractive, and tgatsvin my opinion.
If I had found them attractive, and turned them down, it would have been there attitude over something. If it doesn't match with me, why would I match them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As I don't meet for socials there could be any number of reasons why I wouldn't meet someone. I only meet someone that I feel comfortable with after messaging and where I'm certain there is an attraction. In 5 years I've not been wrong about those I've met. |
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We only meet first at a Club, it tends to give everyone a choice then and options... It is hard on here to spot peoples sense of humour and we find a smile and an ability to laugh can make up for quite a bit in a Club! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1. Creepy messages
2. Old photos - if you photos are more than 2 years old you need a refresh
3. Single guys with a "girlfriend" - start a couples profile! |
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"I've various reasons to why I haven't taken things further with someone , normally it's a gut feeling based on something they have said.
I cancelled a meet a couple of wks ago because the night before he's asked if I had any substances to use. That doesn't float my boat at all and his follow up statement sealed his fate ! "
Sorry to be too old for your Innocent eyes, lovely profile.
I prefer to chat about the works for an age before working towards a meet. Met one bunny boiler on here in 2010, rather concerning being considered a possession.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I meet someone and feel no attraction I'm fine with saying so. I am also fine with chatting anyway, as its good to get out and have a chinwag.
Although, to actually respond to the OP , its the guys who don't take no for an answer where it won't be going any further."
Not always. |
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