FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why do they do this ????
Why do they do this ????
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You get hitting to a lady all seems well you seem to get on ok plenty in common ,,,, so you arrange to meet ,, as a male I don't message much once we have set a date and venue as I don't like to appear clingy or desperate ,, the day before the meet you drop as message to express your excitement!!! No reply ,,, you wait then go back to find you are blocked ???? What is in some people's heads surely a sorry but I have changed my mind would do any similar experiences or maybe a woman's outlook would help me understand ,,, thanks rant over  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately if you message saying you've changed your mind, people don't like to hear it and can be pushy. If you are blocked then the person doesn't have to deal with the hassle of just being honest and it possibly not going well.
I think messaging once you have arranged a meet is important not clingy, us women like to know we're wanted lol
I do think that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately if you message saying you've changed your mind, people don't like to hear it and can be pushy. If you are blocked then the person doesn't have to deal with the hassle of just being honest and it possibly not going well.
I think messaging once you have arranged a meet is important not clingy, us women like to know we're wanted lol
I do think that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Better offer.
Someone's gave them more attention then you.
Possibilitys are endless.
Just don't count you're chickens till you meet them in the flesh then you can't be disappointed |
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We agree with all your previous replies as possible causes to what you experience. However, one other option never stated is that those who you think to be females may simply be fakes. Best monitor for verifications. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In recent times this has gotten more popular, more mainstream so there's WAY more options for people these days - I'm guilty of it myself, letting things slide.....
Example: I probably have somewhere in the region of about 40 people in my Whatsapp that I've spoken to, got on with, agreed to meet......and never actually met........why? Because there's so much choice, and you might be making plans with person A, when person B comes along and is more interesting - so you meet person B and person A get's lost in the pile.
It's nothing personal. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
you changed consistency once a meet was 'guaranteed', not always a good thing.
think about it, what got you the meet is what will keep your meet interested. you change that and it can be confusing at best, or can be a red flag at the worst.
sometimes people take lack of (or less) messaging as a sign of lack of interest, or that you are busy trying to fuck the whole site. either of things can put people off.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to hear from men coming to a meet often in the days leading up to a meet; it gives me confidence..
If they go quiet I automatically (based on much bitter experience) assume they are not coming and find an alternative.
So if you went quiet on me you would have been wiped off the list. I would however have told you and not just blocked. Doing that is the cowards way out; it's insensitive and uncaring.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like to hear from men coming to a meet often in the days leading up to a meet; it gives me confidence..
If they go quiet I automatically (based on much bitter experience) assume they are not coming and find an alternative.
So if you went quiet on me you would have been wiped off the list. I would however have told you and not just blocked. Doing that is the cowards way out; it's insensitive and uncaring.... "
I agree with this - keeping comms open matters. If you go quiet, then things drift and people get forgotten.
You don't need to appear needy, just be communicative, and don't be a dick about it 
I also agree a simple goodbye goes a long way - rather than blocking out of the blue without talking first (see above about not being a dick) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Better offer.
Someone's gave them more attention then you.
Possibilitys are endless.
Just don't count you're chickens till you meet them in the flesh then you can't be disappointed "
It's a bit close to the bone but that's often a reality on here that many experience. My experience has been the more popular the more likely this will happen. I've multiple proof of that theory that I no longer meet those with lots of veris ....and it's worked far better. Others will have a different experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What a fascinating thread. I guess it just goes to show that most women on Fab have been right royally messed around by a million guys before you get to them so expect a HUGE degree of cynicism. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What a fascinating thread. I guess it just goes to show that most women on Fab have been right royally messed around by a million guys before you get to them so expect a HUGE degree of cynicism. "
Or they want more then Nsa sex. Or crave attention |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men can't seem to do right for doing wrong on this site, just like in the real world  "
All too true!!
Men should just listen or read what is said... All that is needed is a "Hi, just thinking about our meet. I cannot wait!! Hope all is good with you."
If they get a long chatty answer then chat more. If you get a "  " leave it but try and chat again later. No one actually going to meet should be too bothered about little messages. |
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I've been in situations a few times where meets have been arranged (even just socials).
I still like people to check in with me. But it's almost like the chase has happened, they're 'guaranteed' a meet and they dont need to try anymore. Someone else starts talking to me and great conversation happens, now they have my interest. In my head I'm now thinking "why should I meet **** when they can't even be bothered to check in?"
Selfish? Yeah, I suppose it is. But if I want fuck n go, I'll attend a club. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What a fascinating thread. I guess it just goes to show that most women on Fab have been right royally messed around by a million guys before you get to them so expect a HUGE degree of cynicism.
Or they want more then Nsa sex. Or crave attention "
Agree with most of what has been said here.
They're are many different personality types on here, and not all will fully express themselves until you have chatted for quite a while and get a feel for the real person.
Meets tend to happen when the strongest of connections are made and as others have said, most likely they started to chatting to someone they got on with better.
Still, I would never just block someone and would message to say its not going to happen. In fact, we did this on our couples profile after having a social with another couple. It's only fair to be human, decent and honest. Lead by example people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't need endless chat after we have set a date to meet, but I do expect the person to stay in contact. Otherwise, I will think he's gone off me, or met someone else he prefers.
It might also have been someone just wanting a wank or attention online. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you went quiet on me I'd be annoyed. I'm finding guys are very keen for a few days then go quiet then weeks later message again. It's rude! Clearly in between they found a better offer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you went quiet on me I'd be annoyed. I'm finding guys are very keen for a few days then go quiet then weeks later message again. It's rude! Clearly in between they found a better offer"
It takes 2 to chat. Unless you feel you shouldn't have to make a effort |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you went quiet on me I'd be annoyed. I'm finding guys are very keen for a few days then go quiet then weeks later message again. It's rude! Clearly in between they found a better offer
It takes 2 to chat. Unless you feel you shouldn't have to make a effort "
Cheeky git! You're assuming I stopped the conversation which I never do. I think you'll find the last message sent is from me. If they dont reply I'm not going to chase or pester |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you went quiet on me I'd be annoyed. I'm finding guys are very keen for a few days then go quiet then weeks later message again. It's rude! Clearly in between they found a better offer
It takes 2 to chat. Unless you feel you shouldn't have to make a effort
Cheeky git! You're assuming I stopped the conversation which I never do. I think you'll find the last message sent is from me. If they dont reply I'm not going to chase or pester "
You're message might have got lost in the stampede |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You get hitting to a lady all seems well you seem to get on ok plenty in common ,,,, so you arrange to meet ,, as a male I don't message much once we have set a date and venue as I don't like to appear clingy or desperate ,, the day before the meet you drop as message to express your excitement!!! No reply ,,, you wait then go back to find you are blocked ???? What is in some people's heads surely a sorry but I have changed my mind would do any similar experiences or maybe a woman's outlook would help me understand ,,, thanks rant over "
It makes you look like you got what you want and now you're not bothering to make any effort.
Big mistake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would be very suspicious of someone if they were very chatty up to the point of arranging to meet, and then they backed off straight after..to me that smacks of being a timewaster..
I prefer to use the time in between arranging the meet and actually meeting to get to know the person a lot better, otherwise what's the point  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok girls you say that it could be my fault for not messaging but I replied to all her messages and I was the last one to message !!! So on that score it takes 2 to tango "
Darn right you are - oh, and you didn't get to meet ..... see?  |
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"Ok girls you say that it could be my fault for not messaging but I replied to all her messages and I was the last one to message !!! So on that score it takes 2 to tango "
If what you are doing is working for you then continue it .
If not then change it . Choice is yours.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What seems to be coming out of this if you read carefully is that the women expect the guy to keep the conversation going. Some don't like it when pointed out that it takes two. They're used to having easy pickings and will move on quickly. I've learned to give it two weeks. If they can't arrange a coffee meet iside two weeks it's not likely to happen. ...also the initial interest is often gone by then as few can keep the interest going much longer. Delete and move on. Regular cleaning of dormant friends list is needed and hotlist is cleared every two weeks too....except those I want to keep an eye on rather than meet.
its a sex site at the end of the day and not fb. Having said that I've made some life long friends on here and a few I meet as vanilla friends now who have left. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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that's true, we can move on easily. there's always guys willing to put more effort in and make us feel like we're actually desired....until they think they're onto a sure thing and don't bother trying to hold our interest any more.
i think once you really get to know someone is when you'll know if it's ok to flake on messaging or not. it's never ok with me lol. i move on fast, i've actually moved onto other sites now for guys as this one is dissatisfactory for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all the advice my faith is slowly being restored ,,, I just thought it was bad form to just block and not have the common decency to say thanks but no thanks "
I never even got blocked, I got a can't meet the night and he became a unlos, so I must be a right bitch lol |
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