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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi friends.
I have looked around the internet for years to try & find out why I want to share my wife, I love her & it in every way the watching the joining the sweat the mixture of limbs ect.
I struggle to figure it out, I am proud of her & she is a wonderful woman.
Has anyone any thoughts on this subject? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There have been quite a few threads about this in the past and different people have different reasons for enjoying it. Here are some:
You enjoy thinking about your wife as a sexual being in her own right, not just one half of a couple.
You love the idea that other men find her sexually attractive.
You love the idea that she finds other men sexually attractive, even though she loves you.
You want her to experience as much pleasure as she can in her life, and that includes having sex with other guys.
You love all aspects and facets of her character. An element of slutiness in her make-up adds another dimension to her already great personality. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yes that's all quite true, however, I am thinking about the more mindful stuff. Like is it something in our/my DNA, I have read somewhere that it goes back to the cavemen.
Would like to hear more thoughts on this, just your own actual opinions would be great. Thanks C |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There have been quite a few threads about this in the past and different people have different reasons for enjoying it. Here are some:
You enjoy thinking about your wife as a sexual being in her own right, not just one half of a couple.
You love the idea that other men find her sexually attractive.
You love the idea that she finds other men sexually attractive, even though she loves you.
You want her to experience as much pleasure as she can in her life, and that includes having sex with other guys.
You love all aspects and facets of her character. An element of slutiness in her make-up adds another dimension to her already great personality."
I love this comment 
Sweet xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I wouldn't try to over analyse it.....just enjoy what you enjoy together. Most of your thoughts about it being "odd" or "wrong" come from upbringing and what "society" sees as acceptable.
Their opinions do not matter one jot if it is something you are both comfortable with....don't sweat it, just enjoy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes that's all quite true, however, I am thinking about the more mindful stuff. Like is it something in our/my DNA, I have read somewhere that it goes back to the cavemen.
Would like to hear more thoughts on this, just your own actual opinions would be great. Thanks C"
I agree with the other peeps who say don't overanalyse. However, if you want a DNA explanation then, certainly, there is evidence that promiscuous females in the monkey world can secure better, younger semen from interlopers when they go behind the back of the alpha male protecting them.
But don't be looking for something which exonerates you, or explains away your behaviour. You're a sentient being who has a large degree of mastery over his basic instincts.
If you aren't comfortable with cognitive explanations for your behaviour then maybe this is a sign that you aren't comfortable with swinging.
There are also pathological explanations to do with self loathing but, really, let's not go there!
I, for one, am entirely happy with what we do for the reasons given in my first response. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes that's all quite true, however, I am thinking about the more mindful stuff. Like is it something in our/my DNA, I have read somewhere that it goes back to the cavemen.
Would like to hear more thoughts on this, just your own actual opinions would be great. Thanks C
I agree with the other peeps who say don't overanalyse. However, if you want a DNA explanation then, certainly, there is evidence that promiscuous females in the monkey world can secure better, younger semen from interlopers when they go behind the back of the alpha male protecting them.
But don't be looking for something which exonerates you, or explains away your behaviour. You're a sentient being who has a large degree of mastery over his basic instincts.
If you aren't comfortable with cognitive explanations for your behaviour then maybe this is a sign that you aren't comfortable with swinging.
There are also pathological explanations to do with self loathing but, really, let's not go there!
I, for one, am entirely happy with what we do for the reasons given in my first response. "
That's great Folks. Let's leave it there. I am tots comfortable with everything we do, just wish it was more often lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you want scientific, in situations like sex, alcohol, chocolate etc when we get pleasure, we release dopamines and it becomes a rewarding behaviour.
This can be more prone in people with certain personality traits which is down to DNA. - hopefully that makes sense?!
 |
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"Yes that's all quite true, however, I am thinking about the more mindful stuff. Like is it something in our/my DNA, I have read somewhere that it goes back to the cavemen.
Would like to hear more thoughts on this, just your own actual opinions would be great. Thanks C
I agree with the other peeps who say don't overanalyse. However, if you want a DNA explanation then, certainly, there is evidence that promiscuous females in the monkey world can secure better, younger semen from interlopers when they go behind the back of the alpha male protecting them.
But don't be looking for something which exonerates you, or explains away your behaviour. You're a sentient being who has a large degree of mastery over his basic instincts.
If you aren't comfortable with cognitive explanations for your behaviour then maybe this is a sign that you aren't comfortable with swinging.
There are also pathological explanations to do with self loathing but, really, let's not go there!
I, for one, am entirely happy with what we do for the reasons given in my first response.
That's great Folks. Let's leave it there. I am tots comfortable with everything we do, just wish it was more often lol! "
Sorry, clearly misunderstood your question.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we think its a natural human evolution .....we have woken up to our senses and lost our draconian attitudes...where as before sex was mainly for procreation and that was that if ya were lucky ...where as now as a species we have woken up and realised that sex is fun it feels great and its free so we want to explore even more ... two scientist published a paper reckoning that in 50 years time almost the whole world will be in multiple partner relationships due to the above |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"we think its a natural human evolution .....we have woken up to our senses and lost our draconian attitudes...where as before sex was mainly for procreation and that was that if ya were lucky ...where as now as a species we have woken up and realised that sex is fun it feels great and its free so we want to explore even more ... two scientist published a paper reckoning that in 50 years time almost the whole world will be in multiple partner relationships due to the above "
Now that is interesting.  |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
for us we knew of friends and families who had cheated, how it had torn families apart. Promiscuity is part of the human condition, so we thought instead of fighting it, to embrace it and do it openly and honestly. |
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We love sex , all kinds of sex and swinging let's us experience all our deepest desires .
I realised very early on that my ultimate buzz came from seeing my wife enjoying herself , so my voyeuristic nature is satiated . She loves seeing me happy , and truly is a wonderful sexual being . Always willing and happy to try anything at least once .
So our dynamic works perfectly , and how would we be so sexually liberated and happy if we didn't swing ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"for us we knew of friends and families who had cheated, how it had torn families apart. Promiscuity is part of the human condition, so we thought instead of fighting it, to embrace it and do it openly and honestly. "
That's a good thought. I would agree. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We love sex , all kinds of sex and swinging let's us experience all our deepest desires .
I realised very early on that my ultimate buzz came from seeing my wife enjoying herself , so my voyeuristic nature is satiated . She loves seeing me happy , and truly is a wonderful sexual being . Always willing and happy to try anything at least once .
So our dynamic works perfectly , and how would we be so sexually liberated and happy if we didn't swing ?
"
Excellent |
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Until the invention of reliable contraception men needed to be sure that they weren't bringing up other mens children and women needed someone to protect them when late pregnancy and nursing children made them vulnerable. One way of doing this was to encourage monogamy. The church helped once Christianity took hold and wove a necessity into religious doctrine.
Free of these constraints we're able to swing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Until the invention of reliable contraception men needed to be sure that they weren't bringing up other mens children and women needed someone to protect them when late pregnancy and nursing children made them vulnerable. One way of doing this was to encourage monogamy. The church helped once Christianity took hold and wove a necessity into religious doctrine.
Free of these constraints we're able to swing."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Until the invention of reliable contraception men needed to be sure that they weren't bringing up other mens children and women needed someone to protect them when late pregnancy and nursing children made them vulnerable. One way of doing this was to encourage monogamy. The church helped once Christianity took hold and wove a necessity into religious doctrine.
Free of these constraints we're able to swing."
I was saying that to mr kinky the other day we have slightly different views in it I think its a primal instinct we was never ment to be monogamous but society the church and as u said lack of contraception false ppl in to monogamy more than anything to stop unwanted pregnancies where the kids would have ended up on the streets...but now we have contraception we can follow the primal instinct again..after all we evolved from apes they ain't monogamous are they? |
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"Until the invention of reliable contraception men needed to be sure that they weren't bringing up other mens children and women needed someone to protect them when late pregnancy and nursing children made them vulnerable. One way of doing this was to encourage monogamy. The church helped once Christianity took hold and wove a necessity into religious doctrine.
Free of these constraints we're able to swing.
I was saying that to mr kinky the other day we have slightly different views in it I think its a primal instinct we was never ment to be monogamous but society the church and as u said lack of contraception false ppl in to monogamy more than anything to stop unwanted pregnancies where the kids would have ended up on the streets...but now we have contraception we can follow the primal instinct again..after all we evolved from apes they ain't monogamous are they? "
I think that some people are naturally monogamous and some aren't. I hope one day that society will be open enough about sex and relationships that everyone can express their preferences without prejudice. I doubt it will happen in my lifetime though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I think that some people are naturally monogamous and some aren't. I hope one day that society will be open enough about sex and relationships that everyone can express their preferences without prejudice. I doubt it will happen in my lifetime though. "
But are the ppl who are naturally monogamous also the ones who naturally conform to everything in society and the ones who ain't are the one who tend to want to cut lose of it a bit? |
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"
I think that some people are naturally monogamous and some aren't. I hope one day that society will be open enough about sex and relationships that everyone can express their preferences without prejudice. I doubt it will happen in my lifetime though.
But are the ppl who are naturally monogamous also the ones who naturally conform to everything in society and the ones who ain't are the one who tend to want to cut lose of it a bit?"
I don't think so although I don't have any evidence of that other than my own observations. I think some of us like to enjoy casual sex and some of us don't.
Even on fab many people are suspicious of those who have more partners than they find acceptable or say they wouldn't swing if they were in a relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
But are the ppl who are naturally monogamous also the ones who naturally conform to everything in society and the ones who ain't are the one who tend to want to cut lose of it a bit?
I don't think so although I don't have any evidence of that other than my own observations. I think some of us like to enjoy casual sex and some of us don't.
Even on fab many people are suspicious of those who have more partners than they find acceptable or say they wouldn't swing if they were in a relationship. "
Still like my theory and sounds better than me saying I just like being what most ppl would consider to be a bit if a slut hahaha x |
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"
But are the ppl who are naturally monogamous also the ones who naturally conform to everything in society and the ones who ain't are the one who tend to want to cut lose of it a bit?
I don't think so although I don't have any evidence of that other than my own observations. I think some of us like to enjoy casual sex and some of us don't.
Even on fab many people are suspicious of those who have more partners than they find acceptable or say they wouldn't swing if they were in a relationship.
Still like my theory and sounds better than me saying I just like being what most ppl would consider to be a bit if a slut hahaha x"
I hope a time will come when nobody would call you that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
But are the ppl who are naturally monogamous also the ones who naturally conform to everything in society and the ones who ain't are the one who tend to want to cut lose of it a bit?
I don't think so although I don't have any evidence of that other than my own observations. I think some of us like to enjoy casual sex and some of us don't.
Even on fab many people are suspicious of those who have more partners than they find acceptable or say they wouldn't swing if they were in a relationship.
Still like my theory and sounds better than me saying I just like being what most ppl would consider to be a bit if a slut hahaha x
I hope a time will come when nobody would call you that "
Be nice but even if it doesn't who cares as long as we are living how we want and enjoy it x |
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"There have been quite a few threads about this in the past and different people have different reasons for enjoying it. Here are some:
You enjoy thinking about your wife as a sexual being in her own right, not just one half of a couple.
You love the idea that other men find her sexually attractive.
You love the idea that she finds other men sexually attractive, even though she loves you.
You want her to experience as much pleasure as she can in her life, and that includes having sex with other guys.
You love all aspects and facets of her character. An element of slutiness in her make-up adds another dimension to her already great personality."
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