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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why do guys message you from 40+ miles away, with no intention of making the journey themselves and then when you point it out they tell you
"oh it's only 1 hours drive down the m6, you'll be here in no time"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do guys message you from 40+ miles away, with no intention of making the journey themselves and then when you point it out they tell you
"oh it's only 1 hours drive down the m6, you'll be here in no time" "
Because your profile says "can't accomodate. Can travel"?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do guys message you from 40+ miles away, with no intention of making the journey themselves and then when you point it out they tell you
"oh it's only 1 hours drive down the m6, you'll be here in no time" "
Better than, I'm outside your house right now  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why do guys message you from 40+ miles away, with no intention of making the journey themselves and then when you point it out they tell you
"oh it's only 1 hours drive down the m6, you'll be here in no time"
Because your profile says "can't accomodate. Can travel"?
"
Correct it does, but I would have thought it obvious that the travelling part would be within reason?
40 miles is a bit much don't you think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well OP, we see your point, and also that it appears the single guys don't see that distance as an issue.
Just goes to show, men will go a lot further for a shag... |
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By *wo4FemCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Mr here.
I used to travel from Birmingham to Kent when I first met mrs2. 3 hours on the train.
Did that every 4 days for 12 months before we moved in together.
Sometimes it's worth going that extra mile or so.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whereas women just use the line "It's a shame your so far away" why do people even bother messaging if distance is a big issue? "
Man "But I live next door"
Woman. "Yeah I know" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do guys message you from 40+ miles away, with no intention of making the journey themselves and then when you point it out they tell you
"oh it's only 1 hours drive down the m6, you'll be here in no time" "
I know. There really needs to be a filter to stop messages from beyond your preferred distance.
Too many wankers and dreamers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mr here.
I used to travel from Birmingham to Kent when I first met mrs2. 3 hours on the train.
Did that every 4 days for 12 months before we moved in together.
Sometimes it's worth going that extra mile or so.
"
Not quite the same when it's meeting a stranger off the internet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Whereas women just use the line "It's a shame your so far away" why do people even bother messaging if distance is a big issue?
Man "But I live next door"
Woman. "Yeah I know" "
"too far away" is kinder than "I don't fancy you" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well OP, we see your point, and also that it appears the single guys don't see that distance as an issue.
Just goes to show, men will go a lot further for a shag... "
I don't know I like someone enough to shag them until I meet, so require a social first.
Once I say we're only meeting for a drink and there's no guarantee of anything more, I find most guys soon change their tune about travelling the distance to meet me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps, be more clearer on your profile then? Many people have distance limits, stated.
What's distance but time, if you like someone?"
Mine are clear - most don't take heed of this and message anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well OP, we see your point, and also that it appears the single guys don't see that distance as an issue.
Just goes to show, men will go a lot further for a shag...
I don't know I like someone enough to shag them until I meet, so require a social first.
Once I say we're only meeting for a drink and there's no guarantee of anything more, I find most guys soon change their tune about travelling the distance to meet me."
Keeps my inbox nice and empty. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Perhaps, be more clearer on your profile then? Many people have distance limits, stated.
What's distance but time, if you like someone?"
This would make sense even though the majority of the guys who message me don't even read my profile lol |
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"Why do guys message you from 40+ miles away, with no intention of making the journey themselves and then when you point it out they tell you
"oh it's only 1 hours drive down the m6, you'll be here in no time"
Better than, I'm outside your house right now "
ive just had that one
 |
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By *aroleBaskinWoman
over a year ago
somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen |
A guy messaged me last week (never heard from him before) from 500 miles away telling me he'd be in Edinburgh in a couple of weeks for work. I messaged him back saying that's a 3 hour drive from where I am and I need a social first but thanks anyway. He told me it wasn't unreasonable as he'd be travelling a lot further from where he is. Because I wouldn't take a day off work and get a dog sitter to make a 6 hour round trip for coffee, I should be on POF as I don't know how the site works and shouldn't state on my profile that I can travel. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"A guy messaged me last week (never heard from him before) from 500 miles away telling me he'd be in Edinburgh in a couple of weeks for work. I messaged him back saying that's a 3 hour drive from where I am and I need a social first but thanks anyway. He told me it wasn't unreasonable as he'd be travelling a lot further from where he is. Because I wouldn't take a day off work and get a dog sitter to make a 6 hour round trip for coffee, I should be on POF as I don't know how the site works and shouldn't state on my profile that I can travel. "
there's a lot of men saying we should be dating if we want socials.
last social i arranged the guy didn't turn up (nor come on fab to tell me he wasn't gonna, so i didn't even get ready to go to is or anything) then messaged me 2 days later asking when we were meeting for sex. i told him we never were and had to block and report him after he ranted at me. |
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"A guy messaged me last week (never heard from him before) from 500 miles away telling me he'd be in Edinburgh in a couple of weeks for work. I messaged him back saying that's a 3 hour drive from where I am and I need a social first but thanks anyway. He told me it wasn't unreasonable as he'd be travelling a lot further from where he is. Because I wouldn't take a day off work and get a dog sitter to make a 6 hour round trip for coffee, I should be on POF as I don't know how the site works and shouldn't state on my profile that I can travel. "
Eeejit.... That's why it's better to just ignore the 'I'm passing through' messages!
I sometimes just chat to people from very far away if a comment on a thread or something makes me want to, or even just to compliment them!   |
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"Well OP, we see your point, and also that it appears the single guys don't see that distance as an issue.
Just goes to show, men will go a lot further for a shag...
I don't know I like someone enough to shag them until I meet, so require a social first.
Once I say we're only meeting for a drink and there's no guarantee of anything more, I find most guys soon change their tune about travelling the distance to meet me."
exactly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do guys message you from 40+ miles away, with no intention of making the journey themselves and then when you point it out they tell you
"oh it's only 1 hours drive down the m6, you'll be here in no time"
Because your profile says "can't accomodate. Can travel"?
Correct it does, but I would have thought it obvious that the travelling part would be within reason?
40 miles is a bit much don't you think?"
Depends on the person I guess..
I have travelled 200 miles for a meet and others have travelled that far and further to meet me in the past |
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By *aroleBaskinWoman
over a year ago
somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen |
"A guy messaged me last week (never heard from him before) from 500 miles away telling me he'd be in Edinburgh in a couple of weeks for work. I messaged him back saying that's a 3 hour drive from where I am and I need a social first but thanks anyway. He told me it wasn't unreasonable as he'd be travelling a lot further from where he is. Because I wouldn't take a day off work and get a dog sitter to make a 6 hour round trip for coffee, I should be on POF as I don't know how the site works and shouldn't state on my profile that I can travel.
there's a lot of men saying we should be dating if we want socials.
last social i arranged the guy didn't turn up (nor come on fab to tell me he wasn't gonna, so i didn't even get ready to go to is or anything) then messaged me 2 days later asking when we were meeting for sex. i told him we never were and had to block and report him after he ranted at me."
It does sometimes feel as though having a profile means we're here to provide a service to customers and we're just being difficult for not accommodating them. I think guys get it quite bad too with the whole 'jumping through hoops' thing. When I first joined it was a real eye opener, now I half expect it so it's nice when you hear from a reasonable human. Far from the odd bad one spoiling it for everyone else, I just think it makes the good ones stand out more.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A guy messaged me last week (never heard from him before) from 500 miles away telling me he'd be in Edinburgh in a couple of weeks for work. I messaged him back saying that's a 3 hour drive from where I am and I need a social first but thanks anyway. He told me it wasn't unreasonable as he'd be travelling a lot further from where he is. Because I wouldn't take a day off work and get a dog sitter to make a 6 hour round trip for coffee, I should be on POF as I don't know how the site works and shouldn't state on my profile that I can travel. "
Don't change your profile to suit dreamers, or people 'passing through', 'coming your way on holiday' or 'working there for a week' .... eejits  |
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By *aroleBaskinWoman
over a year ago
somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen |
"A guy messaged me last week (never heard from him before) from 500 miles away telling me he'd be in Edinburgh in a couple of weeks for work. I messaged him back saying that's a 3 hour drive from where I am and I need a social first but thanks anyway. He told me it wasn't unreasonable as he'd be travelling a lot further from where he is. Because I wouldn't take a day off work and get a dog sitter to make a 6 hour round trip for coffee, I should be on POF as I don't know how the site works and shouldn't state on my profile that I can travel.
Eeejit.... That's why it's better to just ignore the 'I'm passing through' messages!
I sometimes just chat to people from very far away if a comment on a thread or something makes me want to, or even just to compliment them! "
I know! I even state on my profile that I don't like those 'visitor to the city' messages...although my profile is quite long so rarely gets read I'm happy to chat/fab/friend people from the forums too as they tend to know that huge distances are an issue. It's quite nice getting to know people a bit on here without the pressure of a meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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40 miles isn't that far to travel at all, I often travel over an hours journey to meet people, and when I visit a club it's a 150 mile round trip in just a few hours.
It all depends on your attitude, the amount of effort you want to go to and what you want to get out of being on here.
I drive 45 minutes to the train station, then a half hour train journey to meet some people. It's worth it for the right people.
Good things aren't often the easiest, but so worth it. |
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By *aroleBaskinWoman
over a year ago
somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen |
"A guy messaged me last week (never heard from him before) from 500 miles away telling me he'd be in Edinburgh in a couple of weeks for work. I messaged him back saying that's a 3 hour drive from where I am and I need a social first but thanks anyway. He told me it wasn't unreasonable as he'd be travelling a lot further from where he is. Because I wouldn't take a day off work and get a dog sitter to make a 6 hour round trip for coffee, I should be on POF as I don't know how the site works and shouldn't state on my profile that I can travel.
Don't change your profile to suit dreamers, or people 'passing through', 'coming your way on holiday' or 'working there for a week' .... eejits "
Haha, I know it's just frustrating when you know they're leaving the conversation really believing that you're a timewaster and a selfish human. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"40 miles isn't that far to travel at all, I often travel over an hours journey to meet people, and when I visit a club it's a 150 mile round trip in just a few hours.
It all depends on your attitude, the amount of effort you want to go to and what you want to get out of being on here.
I drive 45 minutes to the train station, then a half hour train journey to meet some people. It's worth it for the right people.
Good things aren't often the easiest, but so worth it."
I guess so
I suppose because I'm from Birmingham and there's such a wide variety of guys here I don't really see the need to drive for an hour + to meet someone when there are lots of guys local to me |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"A guy messaged me last week (never heard from him before) from 500 miles away telling me he'd be in Edinburgh in a couple of weeks for work. I messaged him back saying that's a 3 hour drive from where I am and I need a social first but thanks anyway. He told me it wasn't unreasonable as he'd be travelling a lot further from where he is. Because I wouldn't take a day off work and get a dog sitter to make a 6 hour round trip for coffee, I should be on POF as I don't know how the site works and shouldn't state on my profile that I can travel.
there's a lot of men saying we should be dating if we want socials.
last social i arranged the guy didn't turn up (nor come on fab to tell me he wasn't gonna, so i didn't even get ready to go to is or anything) then messaged me 2 days later asking when we were meeting for sex. i told him we never were and had to block and report him after he ranted at me.
It does sometimes feel as though having a profile means we're here to provide a service to customers and we're just being difficult for not accommodating them. I think guys get it quite bad too with the whole 'jumping through hoops' thing. When I first joined it was a real eye opener, now I half expect it so it's nice when you hear from a reasonable human. Far from the odd bad one spoiling it for everyone else, I just think it makes the good ones stand out more. "
my inbox used to be terrible for that and a fair few guys still message me like that now but it's a lot less.
i don't even hardly reply to the decent ones any more, the guy i was on about seemed decent enough, initially. i mostly chat to women off the forums, or in the forums themselves, now and that's it. |
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By *wo4FemCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Mr here.
I used to travel from Birmingham to Kent when I first met mrs2. 3 hours on the train.
Did that every 4 days for 12 months before we moved in together.
Sometimes it's worth going that extra mile or so.
Not quite the same when it's meeting a stranger off the internet."
We met on the internet so technically we were strangers.  |
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"A guy messaged me last week (never heard from him before) from 500 miles away telling me he'd be in Edinburgh in a couple of weeks for work. I messaged him back saying that's a 3 hour drive from where I am and I need a social first but thanks anyway. He told me it wasn't unreasonable as he'd be travelling a lot further from where he is. Because I wouldn't take a day off work and get a dog sitter to make a 6 hour round trip for coffee, I should be on POF as I don't know how the site works and shouldn't state on my profile that I can travel.
Eeejit.... That's why it's better to just ignore the 'I'm passing through' messages!
I sometimes just chat to people from very far away if a comment on a thread or something makes me want to, or even just to compliment them!
I know! I even state on my profile that I don't like those 'visitor to the city' messages...although my profile is quite long so rarely gets read I'm happy to chat/fab/friend people from the forums too as they tend to know that huge distances are an issue. It's quite nice getting to know people a bit on here without the pressure of a meet "
It is, though beware, that can bite you in the bum and you end up travelling miles after all! !  |
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By *aroleBaskinWoman
over a year ago
somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen |
"A guy messaged me last week (never heard from him before) from 500 miles away telling me he'd be in Edinburgh in a couple of weeks for work. I messaged him back saying that's a 3 hour drive from where I am and I need a social first but thanks anyway. He told me it wasn't unreasonable as he'd be travelling a lot further from where he is. Because I wouldn't take a day off work and get a dog sitter to make a 6 hour round trip for coffee, I should be on POF as I don't know how the site works and shouldn't state on my profile that I can travel.
there's a lot of men saying we should be dating if we want socials.
last social i arranged the guy didn't turn up (nor come on fab to tell me he wasn't gonna, so i didn't even get ready to go to is or anything) then messaged me 2 days later asking when we were meeting for sex. i told him we never were and had to block and report him after he ranted at me.
It does sometimes feel as though having a profile means we're here to provide a service to customers and we're just being difficult for not accommodating them. I think guys get it quite bad too with the whole 'jumping through hoops' thing. When I first joined it was a real eye opener, now I half expect it so it's nice when you hear from a reasonable human. Far from the odd bad one spoiling it for everyone else, I just think it makes the good ones stand out more.
my inbox used to be terrible for that and a fair few guys still message me like that now but it's a lot less.
i don't even hardly reply to the decent ones any more, the guy i was on about seemed decent enough, initially. i mostly chat to women off the forums, or in the forums themselves, now and that's it."
I know! I'm basically hiding from my inbox just now. I had to take all my filters off as I'm organising an Aberdeen social....it's horrendous! I hide on the forums instead. |
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By *norksterMan
over a year ago
Darlington and beyond |
"Why do guys message you from 40+ miles away, with no intention of making the journey themselves and then when you point it out they tell you
"oh it's only 1 hours drive down the m6, you'll be here in no time" "
I don't, I do make the effort to travel, not a problem for me & my last encounter was over 100 miles away.  |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"A guy messaged me last week (never heard from him before) from 500 miles away telling me he'd be in Edinburgh in a couple of weeks for work. I messaged him back saying that's a 3 hour drive from where I am and I need a social first but thanks anyway. He told me it wasn't unreasonable as he'd be travelling a lot further from where he is. Because I wouldn't take a day off work and get a dog sitter to make a 6 hour round trip for coffee, I should be on POF as I don't know how the site works and shouldn't state on my profile that I can travel.
there's a lot of men saying we should be dating if we want socials.
last social i arranged the guy didn't turn up (nor come on fab to tell me he wasn't gonna, so i didn't even get ready to go to is or anything) then messaged me 2 days later asking when we were meeting for sex. i told him we never were and had to block and report him after he ranted at me.
It does sometimes feel as though having a profile means we're here to provide a service to customers and we're just being difficult for not accommodating them. I think guys get it quite bad too with the whole 'jumping through hoops' thing. When I first joined it was a real eye opener, now I half expect it so it's nice when you hear from a reasonable human. Far from the odd bad one spoiling it for everyone else, I just think it makes the good ones stand out more.
my inbox used to be terrible for that and a fair few guys still message me like that now but it's a lot less.
i don't even hardly reply to the decent ones any more, the guy i was on about seemed decent enough, initially. i mostly chat to women off the forums, or in the forums themselves, now and that's it.
I know! I'm basically hiding from my inbox just now. I had to take all my filters off as I'm organising an Aberdeen social....it's horrendous! I hide on the forums instead. "
i told people to post in the topic so i didn't have to take my filters off, when i was arranging socials. |
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By *aroleBaskinWoman
over a year ago
somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen |
"A guy messaged me last week (never heard from him before) from 500 miles away telling me he'd be in Edinburgh in a couple of weeks for work. I messaged him back saying that's a 3 hour drive from where I am and I need a social first but thanks anyway. He told me it wasn't unreasonable as he'd be travelling a lot further from where he is. Because I wouldn't take a day off work and get a dog sitter to make a 6 hour round trip for coffee, I should be on POF as I don't know how the site works and shouldn't state on my profile that I can travel.
Eeejit.... That's why it's better to just ignore the 'I'm passing through' messages!
I sometimes just chat to people from very far away if a comment on a thread or something makes me want to, or even just to compliment them!
I know! I even state on my profile that I don't like those 'visitor to the city' messages...although my profile is quite long so rarely gets read I'm happy to chat/fab/friend people from the forums too as they tend to know that huge distances are an issue. It's quite nice getting to know people a bit on here without the pressure of a meet
It is, though beware, that can bite you in the bum and you end up travelling miles after all! ! "
Haha....there's a couple of forum people I wouldn't object to biting me in the bum... |
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By *wo4FemCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Mr here.
I used to travel from Birmingham to Kent when I first met mrs2. 3 hours on the train.
Did that every 4 days for 12 months before we moved in together.
Sometimes it's worth going that extra mile or so.
Not quite the same when it's meeting a stranger off the internet."
Well we both were strangers and we did meet online |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't accommodate but can travel...
For me the distance is subjective, for the right meet I don't see distance as an issue, right planning, right timing, could be worth the journey!
Then again I am male.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its an odd one, most people dont look at what you want, due to my current situation (and the fact public transport is none existent in the village after 6pm) i have put down local only, still get messages at silly AM saying come to this hotel now & i'll meet you out front.. my usual reply is 'dont worry i'll start walking i'll be there in a few days' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't accommodate but can travel...
For me the distance is subjective, for the right meet I don't see distance as an issue, right planning, right timing, could be worth the journey!
Then again I am male.... "
Oh really haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can't accommodate but can travel...
For me the distance is subjective, for the right meet I don't see distance as an issue, right planning, right timing, could be worth the journey!
Then again I am male....
Oh really haha "
I speak the truth! |
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