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I think i have had sex with a ghost
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well it all started a few weeks ago me and my friend john were playing oujie bourd and a german ghost came through talking about sex anyways we through the bored out and i went hame i put tootsie to bed and watched some top gear and the emprentice and wanked ..... i went to bed and about 3 ocklock in the morning i woke up with a very sore ass and i heard german voices and this has been happining wvery night ever sice ...has anyone els had sex with ghosts ???? |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
It's that superman joke, he's flying around and through an open window spots wonder woman naked, on her back, legs wide open, dripping wet pussy. Superman thinks to himself "with my super speed I could fly in there, fuck her, and be gone before she even noticed" so in he flies, curtains flap everywhere, the bed shakes, the lamp falls over "What the fuck was that?!" cries wonder woman, "I dont know, but my arse hurts" says the invisible man. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you messed with a oiuja board it's more likely you're getting fucked up your arse by a Demon than a ghost. Nasty critters Demons, you best start sleeping on your back xxx |
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I can't say I've had a wank over Top Gear, or The Apprentice for that matter.
As for ghosts I've never had that either. That said one of my prerequisites is I won't meet anyone without a pulse.
I'm now worried I'm discriminating ?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My german ghost girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done."
  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My german ghost girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My german ghost girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done."
She was screaming No??? 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's that superman joke, he's flying around and through an open window spots wonder woman naked, on her back, legs wide open, dripping wet pussy. Superman thinks to himself "with my super speed I could fly in there, fuck her, and be gone before she even noticed" so in he flies, curtains flap everywhere, the bed shakes, the lamp falls over "What the fuck was that?!" cries wonder woman, "I dont know, but my arse hurts" says the invisible man. "
I remember hearing that joke in the movie Hollow Man lol |
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Years ago I had to do a seminar on the supernatural at a rural university.
To get a feel for my audience, i asked "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raised their hands. "Well that's a good start I thought.
I then asked out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands. "That's really good I thought, I'm really glad they were taking this seriously.
Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost? 15 students raised their hands. "That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" Three students raise their hands. "That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further.....Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" To which One student in the back raised his hand which astonished me.
I was amazed and intrigued at this point so I said to the lad, Son, in all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience." The student in his best yokel voice replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.
Everyone in the room was listening intently as I said to him "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost." The student replies, "Ghost? Damn..... From back there I thought you said goat |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"Well it all started a few weeks ago me and my friend john were playing oujie bourd and a german ghost came through talking about sex anyways we through the bored out and i went hame i put tootsie to bed and watched some top gear and the emprentice and wanked ..... i went to bed and about 3 ocklock in the morning i woke up with a very sore ass and i heard german voices and this has been happining wvery night ever sice ...has anyone els had sex with ghosts ????"
the scene from scary movie 2 Congress to mind. |
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"Well it all started a few weeks ago me and my friend john were playing oujie bourd and a german ghost came through talking about sex anyways we through the bored out and i went hame i put tootsie to bed and watched some top gear and the emprentice and wanked ..... i went to bed and about 3 ocklock in the morning i woke up with a very sore ass and i heard german voices and this has been happining wvery night ever sice ...has anyone els had sex with ghosts ????"
We're you in ghoul, humberside when it happened |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My german ghost girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done.
"
Omg I've just spit my tea... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This OP is a genius, his troll threads are always funny.
He's one of my favourite posters on the forums  "
The car one the other week entertained me at work reading it. Tootsie is a hero |
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"Well it all started a few weeks ago me and my friend john were playing oujie bourd and a german ghost came through talking about sex anyways we through the bored out and i went hame i put tootsie to bed and watched some top gear and the emprentice and wanked ..... i went to bed and about 3 ocklock in the morning i woke up with a very sore ass and i heard german voices and this has been happining wvery night ever sice ...has anyone els had sex with ghosts ????"
Imagine some one walking in and seeing your arsehole opening and closing for no reason |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i went to bed and about 3 ocklock in the morning i woke up with a very sore ass and i heard german voices and this has been happining wvery night ever sice ...has anyone els had sex with ghosts ????"
There's really no need for silly talk about ghosts. There's always a far more rational explanation. It's highly likely that in a few years time you'll be invited to travel into deep space with Elon Musk, where you'll be sucked through a black hole and get trapped in an alien constructed world beyond time and space and from whence the only means to communicate with your former self from your disembodied state will be by shouting in German and/or butt fucking yourself in morse code.
As you can see there's really no need for silly speculation when you have a strong grounding in actual science  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well it all started a few weeks ago me and my friend john were playing oujie bourd and a german ghost came through talking about sex anyways we through the bored out and i went hame i put tootsie to bed and watched some top gear and the emprentice and wanked ..... i went to bed and about 3 ocklock in the morning i woke up with a very sore ass and i heard german voices and this has been happining wvery night ever sice ...has anyone els had sex with ghosts ????
Imagine some one walking in and seeing your arsehole opening and closing for no reason"
With the German voices it will genuinely look like he's talking out of his arse! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well it all started a few weeks ago me and my friend john were playing oujie bourd and a german ghost came through talking about sex anyways we through the bored out and i went hame i put tootsie to bed and watched some top gear and the emprentice and wanked ..... i went to bed and about 3 ocklock in the morning i woke up with a very sore ass and i heard german voices and this has been happining wvery night ever sice ...has anyone els had sex with ghosts ????"
So
1.Ouija boards are bo11ox - therefore your ghost theory is dead.
2. You friend John has interfered with you. He played the long game hence that German GCSE he was doing. All an elaborate plan.
3. It's probably because of your thunderbird puppet look or
4. Your eyebrows.
Happy to help |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My german ghost girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done.
"
Funny 
Her x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My german ghost girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done.
Funny
Her x"
Hahahaha you killed me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's that superman joke, he's flying around and through an open window spots wonder woman naked, on her back, legs wide open, dripping wet pussy. Superman thinks to himself "with my super speed I could fly in there, fuck her, and be gone before she even noticed" so in he flies, curtains flap everywhere, the bed shakes, the lamp falls over "What the fuck was that?!" cries wonder woman, "I dont know, but my arse hurts" says the invisible man.
I remember hearing that joke in the movie Hollow Man lol"
The vicar of Dibly told it also.
Superman is just flying around, and he notices wonder woman sunbathing naked upon a flat roof. Superman thinks to himself ! I have always fancied wonder woman, This is my chance to have sex with her. I will swoop down at the speed of light, and have sex with her, before she realizes what's happened. Whoosh goes superman. Moments later, wonder woman says, ''what in the hell was that'' The invisible man then replies, ''I don't know, but it hurt a lot'' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone its ok now im seeing a priest very soon and it will all be just dandy thrn "
Please keep us posted about how it goes.
Hope you get to put your penis inside the priest |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Everyone its ok now im seeing a priest very soon and it will all be just dandy thrn
Please keep us posted about how it goes.
Hope you get to put your penis inside the priest "
Ooo no way all he is doing is blessing my ars |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone its ok now im seeing a priest very soon and it will all be just dandy thrn
Please keep us posted about how it goes.
Hope you get to put your penis inside the priest "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone its ok now im seeing a priest very soon and it will all be just dandy thrn
Please keep us posted about how it goes.
Hope you get to put your penis inside the priest
Ooo no way all he is doing is blessing my ars"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone its ok now im seeing a priest very soon and it will all be just dandy thrn
Please keep us posted about how it goes.
Hope you get to put your penis inside the priest
Ooo no way all he is doing is blessing my ars"
With his penis ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone its ok now im seeing a priest very soon and it will all be just dandy thrn
Please keep us posted about how it goes.
Hope you get to put your penis inside the priest
Ooo no way all he is doing is blessing my ars
With his penis ? "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Everyone its ok now im seeing a priest very soon and it will all be just dandy thrn
Please keep us posted about how it goes.
Hope you get to put your penis inside the priest
Ooo no way all he is doing is blessing my ars
With his penis ?
"
No with his hands its a exercisim |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone its ok now im seeing a priest very soon and it will all be just dandy thrn
Please keep us posted about how it goes.
Hope you get to put your penis inside the priest
Ooo no way all he is doing is blessing my ars
With his penis ?
No with his hands its a exercisim"
Do an enema before just in case though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is he a real priest OP??
He said he was i met him on fab he said his done over 500 exersisms and he would love to help me "
You met this said priest on fab? Well he's gotta be a real priest then OP  good luck with that one.
Next instalment- said priest wasn't a priest at all!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is he a real priest OP??
He said he was i met him on fab he said his done over 500 exersisms and he would love to help me
You met this said priest on fab? Well he's gotta be a real priest then OP good luck with that one.
Next instalment- said priest wasn't a priest at all! "
Hope he is a real priest i cant take this no more its a nightmere |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is he a real priest OP??
He said he was i met him on fab he said his done over 500 exersisms and he would love to help me
You met this said priest on fab? Well he's gotta be a real priest then OP good luck with that one.
Next instalment- said priest wasn't a priest at all!
Hope he is a real priest i cant take this no more its a nightmere"
What is this ghost still having its wicked way with you?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is he a real priest OP??
He said he was i met him on fab he said his done over 500 exersisms and he would love to help me
You met this said priest on fab? Well he's gotta be a real priest then OP good luck with that one.
Next instalment- said priest wasn't a priest at all!
Hope he is a real priest i cant take this no more its a nightmere
What is this ghost still having its wicked way with you? "
Yes and i think he is doing the same to tootsie ???????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is why you should stick to banging your car op
Tootsie has been very suportive through all this she has been my rock "
I'm so glad you and tootsie are still strong through this |
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