FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Women and couples aren't attracted to nice guys
Women and couples aren't attracted to nice guys
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Not sure what's myth and what's reality when it comes to appreciation ships in friendship or sex because nice guys always come last? let's Find out here lol |
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The "nice" guys who come last who are only being nice as part of an act so they can bed a girl.
A genuine nice guy is well respected by many as he's not sly and not thinking of her like a meaningless object. |
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"Not sure what's myth and what's reality when it comes to appreciation ships in friendship or sex because nice guys always come last? let's Find out here lol"
I met a nice guy who was masquerading as a nasty one, and now we are a couple. I keep it a secret that he is really nice though, don't want to spoil his street cred |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Emotionally damaged women don't like nice guys. Because they seek to replicate the relationship(s) that damaged them. Typically they also enjoy being very submissive.
The flip side is, stable and balanced women will usually prefer nice guys (for relationships at least). Sex is down to preference here.
These are generalisations, but very accurate in most cases. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We like nice guys, just can't be doing with time wasters, so nice guys have to work harder to prove they're not just more of the same"
I know that their lot of time waster on here and makes it harder for nice guys genuine which is so dam hard to for fill interest. I not Mr perfect just a nice guy that looking for no string fun since moving back. Thanks for all replies in the words of Spock After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but is often true? |
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I like to think of myself as a nice guy, but I don't think that in itself has helped or hindered me on Fab in any way. There's a lot of reasons why I may have trouble attracting women but none of those are because I'm nice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just because your nice doesn't guarantee sex !
You still have to put the effort in !!
If you have a crap profile , shit pics , can't spell and send shit messages , you will struggle ! Regardless of how nice you might think you are |
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"Not sure what's myth and what's reality when it comes to appreciation ships in friendship or sex because nice guys always come last? let's Find out here lol"
No they are just not interested ib unattractive nice guys. Having a bad boy persona is not good for swinging you want to be thought of a respectful, polite etc etc so attractive nice guys will be very successful on the scene. |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Not sure what's myth and what's reality when it comes to appreciation ships in friendship or sex because nice guys always come last? let's Find out here lol"
I like nice guys Dicks a nice guy. All my male friends are nice guys |
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"I fucking hate this idea that just because someone is a "nice guy" then women must just have sex with them."
Yeah ..sometimes being a nice guy is just a tactic ...cover is usually blown when it doesnt pay off |
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" because nice guys always come last"
I should bloody well hope so
We like nice guys, guys who think they're bulls we avoid. Just make me laugh, that's all it takes. Well and a penis too obviously  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We like nice guys, just can't be doing with time wasters, so nice guys have to work harder to prove they're not just more of the sameI know that their lot of time waster on here and makes it harder for nice guys genuine which is so dam hard to for fill interest. I not Mr perfect just a nice guy that looking for no string fun since moving back. Thanks for all replies in the words of Spock After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but is often true? "
I was going to ask you OP if you were putting yourself forward as a nice guy, and also using that description as another excuse as to why you aren't getting meets on here? |
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"Emotionally damaged women don't like nice guys. Because they seek to replicate the relationship(s) that damaged them. Typically they also enjoy being very submissive.
The flip side is, stable and balanced women will usually prefer nice guys (for relationships at least). Sex is down to preference here.
These are generalisations, but very accurate in most cases."
I would love learn more about the science behind your statement....might help explain a thing or two about my past relationship lol.
Is it possible to understand why emotionally damaged people seek to replicate the the relationship that damaged them?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We like nice guys, just can't be doing with time wasters, so nice guys have to work harder to prove they're not just more of the sameI know that their lot of time waster on here and makes it harder for nice guys genuine which is so dam hard to for fill interest. I not Mr perfect just a nice guy that looking for no string fun since moving back. Thanks for all replies in the words of Spock After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but is often true?
I was going to ask you OP if you were putting yourself forward as a nice guy, and also using that description as another excuse as to why you aren't getting meets on here? "
no it just a saying for star trak |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Generally if someone refers to themselves as a nice guy..
.. They're not a nice guy.
I don't think you're a bad guy, you just need to sort your profile out. It's hard to read and it just sounds like a d*unken angry ramble with hints at depression and mental health.
That's not really a turn on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Generally if someone refers to themselves as a nice guy..
.. They're not a nice guy.
I don't think you're a bad guy, you just need to sort your profile out. It's hard to read and it just sounds like a d*unken angry ramble with hints at depression and mental health.
That's not really a turn on."
oh okay well i no good at writting profiles if that what you want to know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like nice guys, I think they're great, I'll even fuck them IF they match the criteria I'm looking for in a sexual partner. If not, I'm afraid I'm not into pity shags
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The "nice" guys who come last who are only being nice as part of an act so they can bed a girl.
A genuine nice guy is well respected by many as he's not sly and not thinking of her like a meaningless object."
One of favourites is a lovely guy. And he's not shy of meets for the above reasons |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I like nice guys, I think they're great, I'll even fuck them IF they match the criteria I'm looking for in a sexual partner. If not, I'm afraid I'm not into pity shags
"
I'm not here for a pity shag if that what you think of me i'm here to make friends and have fun along the way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it possible to understand why emotionally damaged people seek to replicate the the relationship that damaged them??"
It's the same mechanism that leads girls with Daddy issues to be promiscuous trainwrecks.
Perhaps low self esteem, no desire to form meaningful bonds? |
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Being nice is just logically a good thing, however that by itself will never further anything. Think of it this way do you have friends in you life who are just friends of yours because "You are a nice guy". Generally friendships build through shared experiences, and report. It should be no different here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I just like to take the time to apologise and say sorry to all for post this thing in the forum it seem I always make mistakes.. All I wanted was to rekindle my love for swinging which was made a reality long time ago by a couple who were swingers and a friend of the family that introduce me to lifestyle of swinging ever since then I loved it if that wrong I really sorry to seem crazy at time too which I do not mean to be.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Emotionally damaged women don't like nice guys. Because they seek to replicate the relationship(s) that damaged them. Typically they also enjoy being very submissive.
The flip side is, stable and balanced women will usually prefer nice guys (for relationships at least). Sex is down to preference here.
These are generalisations, but very accurate in most cases."
Not in our case, hubby is Mr Nice Guy and I'm a chuffing loon! |
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"I like nice guys OP  that's cool to know but i do have a naughty side too"
Being nice doesn't equate to not being naughty.
If you are being naughty it means you are confident to show the other person that you have a sexual deaire for them and aren't afraid to hide it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not sure what's myth and what's reality when it comes to appreciation ships in friendship or sex because nice guys always come last? let's Find out here lol
I like nice guys Dicks a nice guy. All my male friends are nice guys "
I see i am all that but not sexy looking lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I like nice guys OP that's cool to know but i do have a naughty side too
Being nice doesn't equate to not being naughty.
If you are being naughty it means you are confident to show the other person that you have a sexual deaire for them and aren't afraid to hide it."
thanks well it seem the females and couples are afriad just being honest lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dude. Are you actually nice?
Its become a running joke among female circles that guys who go around calling themselves "nice guys(TM)" tend to be nothing more than entitled weasels with a sense of entitlement.
Can threads like these. You're not owed a pity fuck and thats exactly what you're asking for. Go out, attend some socials and improve your grammar.
Have no idea whats up with so many people on here complaining about being overlooked when they cant even construct a sentence.
Some here are stating that damaged women dislike nice guys and thats the same tactics "nice guy" weasels tend to do as well. Its nothing more than passive aggressively shaming women for their choices. A "nice guy" who lacks social skill and thinks being agreeable makes him entitled to pussy is not going to be lighting the vaginas of more well adjusted women either. Even I wont sit here and pretend that every woman on here is some Babylonian whore from the pit of hell....if you're not appealing to people on here then the problem is you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Even I wont sit here and pretend that every woman on here is some Babylonian whore from the pit of hell...."
just me then.. I literally am from the pit of hell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a nice guy and seem to do quite well on here.
I've found my relaxed, friendly and kind personality has been one of my biggest "pulling" factors especialy when it comes to repeat meets.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my opinion one has to have sex appeal to get NSA sex. So what is sex appeal? I would say it's a person's ability to be sexually tempting to someone else. So does being nice or polite give someone sex appeal? On its own no. But it is one of the contributing factors, along with being aesthetically pleasing and having an engaging personality. None of these factors tend to work on their own - it's the combination that's important. There are also factors that reduce sex appeal: arrogance, negativity, lack of confidence, ungenuineness, selfishness, petulance, bitchiness, poor physical shape, poor hygiene etc etc. I don't accept that 'nice' men stay at the back of the queue on the swing scene - we know stacks of nice men who are having lots of fun. But if the only thing one has to offer is being 'nice', well that's not enough to tempt most people into bed.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dude. Are you actually nice?
Its become a running joke among female circles that guys who go around calling themselves "nice guys(TM)" tend to be nothing more than entitled weasels with a sense of entitlement.
Can threads like these. You're not owed a pity fuck and thats exactly what you're asking for. Go out, attend some socials and improve your grammar.
Have no idea whats up with so many people on here complaining about being overlooked when they cant even construct a sentence.
Some here are stating that damaged women dislike nice guys and thats the same tactics "nice guy" weasels tend to do as well. Its nothing more than passive aggressively shaming women for their choices. A "nice guy" who lacks social skill and thinks being agreeable makes him entitled to pussy is not going to be lighting the vaginas of more well adjusted women either. Even I wont sit here and pretend that every woman on here is some Babylonian whore from the pit of hell....if you're not appealing to people on here then the problem is you."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my opinion one has to have sex appeal to get NSA sex. So what is sex appeal? I would say it's a person's ability to be sexually tempting to someone else. So does being nice or polite give someone sex appeal? On its own no. But it is one of the contributing factors, along with being aesthetically pleasing and having an engaging personality. None of these factors tend to work on their own - it's the combination that's important. There are also factors that reduce sex appeal: arrogance, negativity, lack of confidence, ungenuineness, selfishness, petulance, bitchiness, poor physical shape, poor hygiene etc etc. I don't accept that 'nice' men stay at the back of the queue on the swing scene - we know stacks of nice men who are having lots of fun. But if the only thing one has to offer is being 'nice', well that's not enough to tempt most people into bed.
Mrs"
I couldn't have put it better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dude. Are you actually nice?
Its become a running joke among female circles that guys who go around calling themselves "nice guys(TM)" tend to be nothing more than entitled weasels with a sense of entitlement.
Can threads like these. You're not owed a pity fuck and thats exactly what you're asking for. Go out, attend some socials and improve your grammar.
Have no idea whats up with so many people on here complaining about being overlooked when they cant even construct a sentence.
Some here are stating that damaged women dislike nice guys and thats the same tactics "nice guy" weasels tend to do as well. Its nothing more than passive aggressively shaming women for their choices. A "nice guy" who lacks social skill and thinks being agreeable makes him entitled to pussy is not going to be lighting the vaginas of more well adjusted women either. Even I wont sit here and pretend that every woman on here is some Babylonian whore from the pit of hell....if you're not appealing to people on here then the problem is you."
This has hit the nail on the head! OP you have been advised that the way forward is to get out to socials and start the ball rolling yourself..
That way others can tell whether you are nice or naughty without you having to tell us..
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Dude. Are you actually nice?
Its become a running joke among female circles that guys who go around calling themselves "nice guys(TM)" tend to be nothing more than entitled weasels with a sense of entitlement.
Can threads like these. You're not owed a pity fuck and thats exactly what you're asking for. Go out, attend some socials and improve your grammar.
Have no idea whats up with so many people on here complaining about being overlooked when they cant even construct a sentence.
Some here are stating that damaged women dislike nice guys and thats the same tactics "nice guy" weasels tend to do as well. Its nothing more than passive aggressively shaming women for their choices. A "nice guy" who lacks social skill and thinks being agreeable makes him entitled to pussy is not going to be lighting the vaginas of more well adjusted women either. Even I wont sit here and pretend that every woman on here is some Babylonian whore from the pit of hell....if you're not appealing to people on here then the problem is you."
This is one of the best responses I've seen in a long time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have noticed on here that the attributes of being 'nice' and 'polite' are often used by men almost as a marketing strategy. This can often come across as a bit sycophantic, because people who really do possess these attributes wouldn't feel the need to tell everybody they are nice. I always remember a man messaging us asking us if we would be interested in a nice polite man amongst all the chaos on Fab. I guess in his mind he regarded it as a great achievement that he was nice and polite. But he was also keen to suggest that others on Fab did not possess these attributes in order to big himself up. But to us being nice and polite goes without saying. This is how we expect people to behave on Fab, and we don't have have any difficulty finding nice polite people, who are also sexy, to play with.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Emotionally damaged women don't like nice guys. Because they seek to replicate the relationship(s) that damaged them. Typically they also enjoy being very submissive.
The flip side is, stable and balanced women will usually prefer nice guys (for relationships at least). Sex is down to preference here.
These are generalisations, but very accurate in most cases.
I would love learn more about the science behind your statement....might help explain a thing or two about my past relationship lol.
Is it possible to understand why emotionally damaged people seek to replicate the the relationship that damaged them??"
We all first learn what love feels like from our parents/carers, and our behaviours replicates this experience - unless we consciously decide to alter it. This is the case for everyone, not just victims of abuse. However, traumatic bonding is more intense than "healthy" bonding. Unfortunately people who have experienced childhood abuse will often find non-abusive relationships lacking. |
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"Emotionally damaged women don't like nice guys. Because they seek to replicate the relationship(s) that damaged them. Typically they also enjoy being very submissive.
The flip side is, stable and balanced women will usually prefer nice guys (for relationships at least). Sex is down to preference here.
These are generalisations, but very accurate in most cases.
I would love learn more about the science behind your statement....might help explain a thing or two about my past relationship lol.
Is it possible to understand why emotionally damaged people seek to replicate the the relationship that damaged them??
We all first learn what love feels like from our parents/carers, and our behaviours replicates this experience - unless we consciously decide to alter it. This is the case for everyone, not just victims of abuse. However, traumatic bonding is more intense than "healthy" bonding. Unfortunately people who have experienced childhood abuse will often find non-abusive relationships lacking."
Hmmmm that makes me think a whole load about things..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Oh okay thanks for the advice I do but fact will still remain in my mind that I'm afraid to go to clubs to social due to a couple of bad experiences and one real bad where I had a near death experience where I still have the scars to my neck where they handle a knife too it. thanks for all the advice have fun bye for now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We all first learn what love feels like from our parents/carers, and our behaviours replicates this experience - unless we consciously decide to alter it. This is the case for everyone, not just victims of abuse. However, traumatic bonding is more intense than "healthy" bonding. Unfortunately people who have experienced childhood abuse will often find non-abusive relationships lacking."
Very well put |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh okay thanks for the advice I do but fact will still remain in my mind that I'm afraid to go to clubs to social due to a couple of bad experiences and one real bad where I had a near death experience where I still have the scars to my neck where they handle a knife too it. thanks for all the advice have fun bye for now."
That sounds extremely serious. And it's extremely serious whether you had a life threatening experience in a swing club or a supermarket. And if that experience is making you fearful of returning to a similar establishment, then maybe seek some help to aid you getting over what happened to you. I'm sure if that had happened to you in a supermarket, you wouldn't avoid going to another supermarket ever again!The clubs we go to seem to be very safe, so hopefully for your sake you will find some way of dealing with this dreadful thing that happened to you.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a sense of humour and being respectful are the attributes to have.
You can have a laugh,don't take yourself seriously,put people at ease and respect who you are with.
These qualities can be 'nice' but I'm no simpering,beg a shag guy.
I won't pester anyone,no is a no. I only ask once. I'm never arrogant or think myself superior-I'm a realist.Understand the situation and move on.
I let the mischevious side in me take over,when I get to know someone and I always like to take charge(with a wink in my eye).
Nice is relative to and defined by the recipient anyway!
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