FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Discretion
Discretion
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Are you discreet in relation to swinging. Can you tell from the forums who has played with who by the way they interact.
If a social was held in a swinging club, would you play, do you mind who sees you playing or do you sneak off to a private room and then never discuss it afterwards. Do you feel you have to act differently at a social, perhaps you dont want anyone to know that you really are that dirty. What if someone you are interested in is playing with someone else. Would you ask them to play afterwards or do you feel that you cant do that in a social situation.
Or if you have played with someone who regularly posts on the forum, do you blatently flirt with them, are you best buddies, etc. Do you care who knows.
Those forumites who take your fancy but you havent yet played with, do you again blatently flirt with them, do you care that others may pick up on the fact that you want to play together.
If you've played with a few forumites, does it bother you may be compared. What if a meet with a regular forumite didnt go as well as you hoped. Is it difficult to come into contact with them (albert electronically)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've played with a few forumites 
Haven't played at a social though and don't do the club "group sex" thing.
We keep our veri's private so you can be assured that we are very discrete |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
If I am honest, I didn't used to bother, I showed verifications and couldn't care less.
Now I am far more cautious...
People are far too interested in who has slept with who.. and then the games may start... and if you argue with one person on here, you will probably find you have with 2/3 others, despite not having interacted with them |
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WOW that's quite a post! But we know what you mean.
We do try to be discrete and we don't kiss and tell. However, we have some swinging buddies who are like sherlock holmes, and they work out who we've seen, and what we did!!!
It can feel awkward sometimes, especially as you want everyone to feel special.
We do play in communal rooms at Chams, never had a problem with that. In fact couples watch us, and then approach us later for more intimate fun.  |
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when i went to my first pussy posse party and knew i'd e meeting a lot of people off the forums i had to go out and buy knickers cos i was really conscious of showing all my glory lol
now i dont give a stuff who see my foof 
and as for discretion, i do display my veri's for all to see, if people what to start trouble because of them let them crack on |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Up to now I have never played with a member who posts on the forums, well not that Ive seen anyway
I hope we can remedy that soon!
;-)"
Im saying nothing, im being discrete (but ill message you for some dirty talk in a mo)
I play in communal rooms at Chams, but I dont know the other guys involved and im not likely to hear from them again. However at a social I am likely to see them post again.
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"when i went to my first pussy posse party and knew i'd e meeting a lot of people off the forums i had to go out and buy knickers cos i was really conscious of showing all my glory lol
now i dont give a stuff who see my foof
and as for discretion, i do display my veri's for all to see, if people what to start trouble because of them let them crack on "
It's all part of the fun |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
right.. loads of different questions there! I'll try and answer them as much as possible
1) I don't think you can tell who has played with who.... you can tell at times who is flirting/sucking up (delete whichever) to who at times...
3) I would treat people, actually let me put that differently, I would LIKE to think that I treat people the same after as i do before.... after all I liked them enough to play with them in the 1st place....
4) I don't really care who is flirting/sucking up (delete whichever) with who... however there are times, and it seems to happen more and more at the moment, when i scream in my head "take it to PM"...
perfect example lately was that a thread with 120 entries in it about 3/4 of it was two people flirting/sucking up (delete whichever) ruining someone elses thread...
5) I hope i have enough judgement in the people I play with that they are adult enough to realise that every situation is different... I wouldn't dream of comparing experiences, they are what they are....
there.... interesting to see where this thread goes... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It wouldnt stop me playing and no doubt I will meet up with forumites and if im lucky get to play with the ones I fancy. I just hope I dont act differently around them on the forums. What if there happens to be a contentious thread and you dont agree with a previous playmates post, are you happy to disagree so forcefully with it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't care who knows what we do or who we've done it with, we've done nothing to be ashamed of.
However, we are discrete as far as the details of those we've played with are concerned.
As for playing in a private room at a club goes, we can't really see the point, everyone knows you aren't going in there for tea and cakes.
If we went to a social, then we'd expect everyone there to be in the swinging lifestyle, therefore why pretend to be anything other than our normal pervy selves? lol.
We'd hope the other people would be themselves too and not put on a false front.
Swinging is supposed to be fun, we can't see the point in all this subterfuge when your with other swingers. 
XXXX |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am an exhibitionist in clubs and I dont have a problem playing in public rooms.
My post was not about that though.
My post was about whether people find it very different playing with those who post regularly on the forums, or whether they prefer to be discreet and chose random strangers they are not likely to see or hear from again |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I am an exhibitionist in clubs and I dont have a problem playing in public rooms.
My post was not about that though.
My post was about whether people find it very different playing with those who post regularly on the forums, or whether they prefer to be discreet and chose random strangers they are not likely to see or hear from again "
None forum members for us, although it isn't always the case of meeting strangers and not hearing from them again, sometimes we go back time and time again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By the very nature of being on this site, we all know what we're here for, but personally who I play with is my business and I wouldn't be impressed if I met someone say and they started a thread about it, as I've seen!
Clubs and socials hold no appeal to me. I don't like not being in control and sex with total strangers doesn't appeal to me at all.
I wouldn't play with those that post on the forums as I, like Fabio, have been wondering of late why some people don't take their flirting off the forums. You can tell who's met who etc the subtle as a sledge hammer hints are hard to miss.
I find it strange when married women get possessive of certain single men: what's that all about?!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am an exhibitionist in clubs and I dont have a problem playing in public rooms.
My post was not about that though.
My post was about whether people find it very different playing with those who post regularly on the forums, or whether they prefer to be discreet and chose random strangers they are not likely to see or hear from again "
We've seen some very sexy people on the forums but haven't met any though.
We don't meet people very often now but, if we do, we always try to meet people that we'd like to meet again.
XXXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to have all my verifications up, but since I've had a couple of issues with women who seemingly have issues with me meeting with friends of theirs I've felt the need to hide them now.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Am naturally flirty, but because i am flirty people assume that i have played with or met these people. I can confirm that i have never met anyone people speculated about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"Ive fucked everyone on the forums...they dont all dispay it in their verifies.....I know i was there thats all that counts! hehhehehehee"
time for your meds again paddy
sorry about that people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive fucked everyone on the forums...they dont all dispay it in their verifies.....I know i was there thats all that counts! hehhehehehee
time for your meds again paddy
sorry about that people"
yes please honeypot a spoon full of fanny juice helps the medicine go down xxx |
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"I am an exhibitionist in clubs and I dont have a problem playing in public rooms.
My post was not about that though.
My post was about whether people find it very different playing with those who post regularly on the forums, or whether they prefer to be discreet and chose random strangers they are not likely to see or hear from again "
i like the whole friends with benefits thing,the forumites i have met have proved to be as fab in the flesh...i wud have no qualms about getting dirty with them.
Some ppl i have got to know from a different forum are now v close friends,and shagging them is fab!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"By the very nature of being on this site, we all know what we're here for, but personally who I play with is my business and I wouldn't be impressed if I met someone say and they started a thread about it, as I've seen!
Clubs and socials hold no appeal to me. I don't like not being in control and sex with total strangers doesn't appeal to me at all.
I wouldn't play with those that post on the forums as I, like Fabio, have been wondering of late why some people don't take their flirting off the forums. You can tell who's met who etc the subtle as a sledge hammer hints are hard to miss.
I find it strange when married women get possessive of certain single men: what's that all about?!!
"
That's exactly what I was trying to say Sassy but I've been writing reports and my brain won't process words anymore.
All of my meets up to now have been non forum members, not always strangers as I have had repeat meets with a single guy who does not verify me as I want to keep that discreet, but non of my playmates up to now post.
I have contacted forumites and I'd love to play at some point but I wouldn't want it referred to, as I'm sure they wouldn't. I'd like to think that play wouldn't change our forum banter or discussions. |
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"By the very nature of being on this site, we all know what we're here for, but personally who I play with is my business and I wouldn't be impressed if I met someone say and they started a thread about it, as I've seen!
Clubs and socials hold no appeal to me. I don't like not being in control and sex with total strangers doesn't appeal to me at all.
I wouldn't play with those that post on the forums as I, like Fabio, have been wondering of late why some people don't take their flirting off the forums. You can tell who's met who etc the subtle as a sledge hammer hints are hard to miss.
I find it strange when married women get possessive of certain single men: what's that all about?!!
That's exactly what I was trying to say Sassy but I've been writing reports and my brain won't process words anymore.
All of my meets up to now have been non forum members, not always strangers as I have had repeat meets with a single guy who does not verify me as I want to keep that discreet, but non of my playmates up to now post.
I have contacted forumites and I'd love to play at some point but I wouldn't want it referred to, as I'm sure they wouldn't. I'd like to think that play wouldn't change our forum banter or discussions. "
i dont see why it should..after all you couldny tell who my Master is! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wouldnt stop me playing and no doubt I will meet up with forumites and if im lucky get to play with the ones I fancy. I just hope I dont act differently around them on the forums. What if there happens to be a contentious thread and you dont agree with a previous playmates post, are you happy to disagree so forcefully with it "
We should never be afraid to disagree if that is how we feel. Friends should be able to disagree, shouldn't they? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wouldnt stop me playing and no doubt I will meet up with forumites and if im lucky get to play with the ones I fancy. I just hope I dont act differently around them on the forums. What if there happens to be a contentious thread and you dont agree with a previous playmates post, are you happy to disagree so forcefully with it
NO THEY SHOULDNT ok! hehe
We should never be afraid to disagree if that is how we feel. Friends should be able to disagree, shouldn't they?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wouldnt stop me playing and no doubt I will meet up with forumites and if im lucky get to play with the ones I fancy. I just hope I dont act differently around them on the forums. What if there happens to be a contentious thread and you dont agree with a previous playmates post, are you happy to disagree so forcefully with it
We should never be afraid to disagree if that is how we feel. Friends should be able to disagree, shouldn't they?"
OOps NO THEY SHOULDNT ok...er...hehehe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wouldnt stop me playing and no doubt I will meet up with forumites and if im lucky get to play with the ones I fancy. I just hope I dont act differently around them on the forums. What if there happens to be a contentious thread and you dont agree with a previous playmates post, are you happy to disagree so forcefully with it
oooh yes they should!
NO THEY SHOULDNT ok! hehe
We should never be afraid to disagree if that is how we feel. Friends should be able to disagree, shouldn't they?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Discretion is very important to me, it has nothing to do with having anything to hide, I simply find people who lack discretion unnattractive.
If I met a 'forumite' I would be disappointed if they mentioned it in the forum, it would lead me to question their motive. I would assume an degree of possesivenes or showing off which are both very unnattractive traits to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wouldnt stop me playing and no doubt I will meet up with forumites and if im lucky get to play with the ones I fancy. I just hope I dont act differently around them on the forums. What if there happens to be a contentious thread and you dont agree with a previous playmates post, are you happy to disagree so forcefully with it
oooh yes they should!
NO THEY SHOULDNT ok! hehe
We should never be afraid to disagree if that is how we feel. Friends should be able to disagree, shouldn't they?"
Tired of arguing with u Be Nice...but lets have sex,,,in front of EVERY1 in the forums...I'll confiscate all cameras lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wouldnt stop me playing and no doubt I will meet up with forumites and if im lucky get to play with the ones I fancy. I just hope I dont act differently around them on the forums. What if there happens to be a contentious thread and you dont agree with a previous playmates post, are you happy to disagree so forcefully with it
oooh yes they should!
NO THEY SHOULDNT ok! hehe
We should never be afraid to disagree if that is how we feel. Friends should be able to disagree, shouldn't they?
Tired of arguing with u Be Nice...but lets have sex,,,in front of EVERY1 in the forums...I'll confiscate all cameras lol x"
At risk of being indiscrete, shall we kiss and make up? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wouldnt stop me playing and no doubt I will meet up with forumites and if im lucky get to play with the ones I fancy. I just hope I dont act differently around them on the forums. What if there happens to be a contentious thread and you dont agree with a previous playmates post, are you happy to disagree so forcefully with it
oooh yes they should!
NO THEY SHOULDNT ok! hehe
We should never be afraid to disagree if that is how we feel. Friends should be able to disagree, shouldn't they?
Tired of arguing with u Be Nice...but lets have sex,,,in front of EVERY1 in the forums...I'll confiscate all cameras lol x
At risk of being indiscrete, shall we kiss and make up?"
yes kisses between the legs of eachother sounds lovely heheheheheh xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"verifcation we display are from peep we have meet. i choose not to display play ones as its no ones buisness but ours"
lets meet...no sex, I can hold back...honest.....er.....spurt...dammmit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"verifcation we display are from peep we have meet. i choose not to display play ones as its no ones buisness but ours
lets meet...no sex, I can hold back...honest.....er.....spurt...dammmit"
lmao are you sure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"verifcation we display are from peep we have meet. i choose not to display play ones as its no ones buisness but ours
lets meet...no sex, I can hold back...honest.....er.....spurt...dammmit
lmao are you sure "
I think U must be aware now I'am a very shy retiring type MrsA......a true gent and a credit to the fab universe...thats in one of my verifies..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I show my veris. Each one reads pretty much the same. Why be discrete on fabs its the one place I can truely be myself so why hide. I have to be discrete in the real world every day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I show my veris. Each one reads pretty much the same. Why be discrete on fabs its the one place I can truely be myself so why hide. I have to be discrete in the real world every day. "
Personally, I wouldn't class showing your verifications as indiscreet: that's personal choice. However, starting a thread specifically about your meets would be, in my _iew. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"verifcation we display are from peep we have meet. i choose not to display play ones as its no ones buisness but ours
lets meet...no sex, I can hold back...honest.....er.....spurt...dammmit
lmao are you sure
I think U must be aware now I'am a very shy retiring type MrsA......a true gent and a credit to the fab universe...thats in one of my verifies....."
Oi stop trying to ruin other peoples threads with this firting, this is the second thread I've seen it on (she says with a wink and a twinle in the eye)
This illustrates though exactly the point I was making. When you see the same people 'bantering' over several threads, does it become uncomfortable. Do you think god I wish they'd just pm each other with it, do you think ah bless em they fancy each other.
I'm not saying that flirty banter is wrong because its absolutely right and fun but if I played with a guy and then afterwards he was constantly making flirty comments after everything I posted, either in or out of context of the thread discussion, then it would make me feel uncomfortable. Flirty comments are brilliant, I make them all the time and I feel flattered if I get a compliment or banter throughout the forum, but if it was being noticed by others that I was targetting the same guy or vice versa, then it becomes uncomfortable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I show my veris. Each one reads pretty much the same. Why be discrete on fabs its the one place I can truely be myself so why hide. I have to be discrete in the real world every day.
Personally, I wouldn't class showing your verifications as indiscreet: that's personal choice. However, starting a thread specifically about your meets would be, in my _iew."
I agree. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
Oi stop trying to ruin other peoples threads with this firting, this is the second thread I've seen it on (she says with a wink and a twinle in the eye)
This illustrates though exactly the point I was making. When you see the same people 'bantering' over several threads, does it become uncomfortable. Do you think god I wish they'd just pm each other with it, do you think ah bless em they fancy each other.
I'm not saying that flirty banter is wrong because its absolutely right and fun but if I played with a guy and then afterwards he was constantly making flirty comments after everything I posted, either in or out of context of the thread discussion, then it would make me feel uncomfortable. Flirty comments are brilliant, I make them all the time and I feel flattered if I get a compliment or banter throughout the forum, but if it was being noticed by others that I was targetting the same guy or vice versa, then it becomes uncomfortable "
no one wants to look like the "killjoy" and say it might be better if we didn't all have to see this... lol mind you I may just say "ffs get a room" next time....
funny enough,I'll admit I have been guilty of it in the past and it was said to me one by a mod on another site and I could see why...
so now if I feel I am chatting but adding nothing to the thread... I take it to pm... call it a lesson learned for me.... lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"verifcation we display are from peep we have meet. i choose not to display play ones as its no ones buisness but ours
lets meet...no sex, I can hold back...honest.....er.....spurt...dammmit
lmao are you sure
I think U must be aware now I'am a very shy retiring type MrsA......a true gent and a credit to the fab universe...thats in one of my verifies.....
Oi stop trying to ruin other peoples threads with this firting, this is the second thread I've seen it on (she says with a wink and a twinle in the eye)
This illustrates though exactly the point I was making. When you see the same people 'bantering' over several threads, does it become uncomfortable. Do you think god I wish they'd just pm each other with it, do you think ah bless em they fancy each other.
I'm not saying that flirty banter is wrong because its absolutely right and fun but if I played with a guy and then afterwards he was constantly making flirty comments after everything I posted, either in or out of context of the thread discussion, then it would make me feel uncomfortable. Flirty comments are brilliant, I make them all the time and I feel flattered if I get a compliment or banter throughout the forum, but if it was being noticed by others that I was targetting the same guy or vice versa, then it becomes uncomfortable "
Good post.
I guess it comes down to what people see as the point of a forum on a swinging site. Some see it as an opportunity to discuss and debate, others as a chance to pitch for sex. Flirting is a good thing and happens everywhere, some are more sophisticated than others though.
When a thread goes off topic and turns into a public personal messaging session, it does tend to make others cringe a bit. It also often kills the genuine debate on the thread.
Those that do it often seem oblivious though...... |
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"verifcation we display are from peep we have meet. i choose not to display play ones as its no ones buisness but ours
lets meet...no sex, I can hold back...honest.....er.....spurt...dammmit
lmao are you sure
I think U must be aware now I'am a very shy retiring type MrsA......a true gent and a credit to the fab universe...thats in one of my verifies.....
Oi stop trying to ruin other peoples threads with this firting, this is the second thread I've seen it on (she says with a wink and a twinle in the eye)
This illustrates though exactly the point I was making. When you see the same people 'bantering' over several threads, does it become uncomfortable. Do you think god I wish they'd just pm each other with it, do you think ah bless em they fancy each other.
I'm not saying that flirty banter is wrong because its absolutely right and fun but if I played with a guy and then afterwards he was constantly making flirty comments after everything I posted, either in or out of context of the thread discussion, then it would make me feel uncomfortable. Flirty comments are brilliant, I make them all the time and I feel flattered if I get a compliment or banter throughout the forum, but if it was being noticed by others that I was targetting the same guy or vice versa, then it becomes uncomfortable
Good post.
I guess it comes down to what people see as the point of a forum on a swinging site. Some see it as an opportunity to discuss and debate, others as a chance to pitch for sex. Flirting is a good thing and happens everywhere, some are more sophisticated than others though.
When a thread goes off topic and turns into a public personal messaging session, it does tend to make others cringe a bit. It also often kills the genuine debate on the thread.
Those that do it often seem oblivious though...... "
opps guilty as charged  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
Indiscretion makes me feel really uneasy,I think we're very respectful of the guys we play with and expect the same in return
I don't like reading about other peoples meets,but do understand that some people are very happy to be open about what they do on here,each of us use the site to our best advantage
Forum flirting is just a bit of fun,I ignore it if it gets too much and seems to be taking over a thread but would hate it if anyone I knew and had met did it with me,but then I don't really play with forum people and prefer to keep my meets separate from the forums
We have been to a few socials and had a great time meeting up with people but I don't play in the open anyway so the issue of who has played with who and other forum people being around does'nt really apply to me
Im mostly a private type of girl,not because im ashamed of anyone that we have met as most have been absolutely lovely but because this is my adventure and my fantasy so only want to involve those that I have personally invited 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have made myself sound like a right stuck up old cow there  "
thats cos ya are lololol x
well I was well aware of why this thread started lol....so its no real issue now to be honest, with a bit of simple detetective work I knew really whos was meeting who from a forum thread and then researching the profile lol....and I suppose as most of u are "pure" forumites, theres plenty n plenty who couldnt actually give a fuck about the forums,the chatrooms.The idea of te discretionary part goes out of the window when u read some peoples verifications, so to the root of this thread I say go check and wonder how discretionally they seem to care lol...
well I understand theres banter and so forth between peope here who have met and possibly fucked, but thats easily sorted with communication with the person, if I heard a statement or comment about me that maybe souunded like some sort of invasion on my privacy I'd talk to whoever was saying it.Its all about communication from start to finish.
Ok so back on track with abusing iconics thread,
I intend to mansplatter some forumites I've not met and yes its getting published in the memiors of a dirtyswingingman |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Ok so back on track with abusing iconics thread,
I intend to mansplatter some forumites I've not met and yes its getting published in the memiors of a dirtyswingingman"
Hey, I'm doing a book too. Will make Belle du Jour look like Mary feckin' Poppins! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so back on track with abusing iconics thread,
I intend to mansplatter some forumites I've not met and yes its getting published in the memiors of a dirtyswingingman
Hey, I'm doing a book too. Will make Belle du Jour look like Mary feckin' Poppins! "
sounds tasty wyrd...mine is a pop-up book thogh...wanna help me with it...I can do a double page spread on you and we can see what pops up... |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Ok so back on track with abusing iconics thread,
I intend to mansplatter some forumites I've not met and yes its getting published in the memiors of a dirtyswingingman
Hey, I'm doing a book too. Will make Belle du Jour look like Mary feckin' Poppins!
sounds tasty wyrd...mine is a pop-up book thogh...wanna help me with it...I can do a double page spread on you and we can see what pops up..."
I can only imagine why you need two pages for me!
The way I'm going, mine will be a six book set with added glossary and dot-to-dot illustrations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so back on track with abusing iconics thread,
I intend to mansplatter some forumites I've not met and yes its getting published in the memiors of a dirtyswingingman
Hey, I'm doing a book too. Will make Belle du Jour look like Mary feckin' Poppins!
sounds tasty wyrd...mine is a pop-up book thogh...wanna help me with it...I can do a double page spread on you and we can see what pops up...
I can only imagine why you need two pages for me!
sorry the metophor for u being the two page spread was indeed me meaning that I was going to open ur legs... hehheehe
The way I'm going, mine will be a six book set with added glossary and dot-to-dot illustrations."
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