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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm relatively new to this and know what I want but how do I out the sleazies from the genuine? I'm a late starter and finding out what I've been missing out on all these years and want to experiment with clubd/bondage/dom sub play but am selective about partners I need someone experienced buy all I'm getting is the wrong type of offers!! I'm up for trying most stuff and am bi curious any ideas? |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
you can't unfortunately. although many will show their true intentions straight away, not all people do and can talk the talk to get what they want.
i'd say, if you want more than NSA vanilla sex you're gonna have to be very patient and extremely exclusive. |
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"you can't unfortunately. although many will show their true intentions straight away, not all people do and can talk the talk to get what they want.
i'd say, if you want more than NSA vanilla sex you're gonna have to be very patient and extremely exclusive."
This is good advice. Patience has been advised and with this will come experience. Put this together with some consideration of the message filters, a liberal usage of the block button and perhaps private notes if you have access to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Forget patience...experience is where it's at...meet anyone who asks, in 6 months you'll have a much better idea of what to look out for 
Ok ok...i jest...patience is prob the best way forward |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
If you're nervous about jumping in, arrange socials to start with to get to know people in advance. Read profiles carefully (a most underrated activity on here) to see if there is any common ground. Don't be afraid to delete messages which are clearly not going to lead to successful meets.
You have to have skin like a rhino, the social skills of a diplomat, the intuition of a witch, and the patience of a saint. If you expect one successful meet out of 100 messages you'll probably get on OK. |
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"You have to have skin like a rhino, the social skills of a diplomat, the intuition of a witch, and the patience of a saint. If you expect one successful meet out of 100 messages you'll probably get on OK."
 Those are accurate numbers in my experience, and that's with lots of filters too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're nervous about jumping in, arrange socials to start with to get to know people in advance. Read profiles carefully (a most underrated activity on here) to see if there is any common ground. Don't be afraid to delete messages which are clearly not going to lead to successful meets.
You have to have skin like a rhino, the social skills of a diplomat, the intuition of a witch, and the patience of a saint. If you expect one successful meet out of 100 messages you'll probably get on OK."
This is good advice. I used to be way too polite and reply to every message, but now I tend to delete and block the ones who make little or no effort with their initial message, but still reply with a polite no thank you to anyone who's clearly put some thought in. I often block people we're clearly never going to be interested in, if they repeatedly message us.
I also tend to steer clear of people who aren't verified as genuine (at the very least, photo verified...it's easy enough to do after all).
You have to be a bit ruthless in order to protect your enjoyment on the site unfortunately, and trust your gut instinct...if someone doesn't feel right, the chances are they're not!
Another thing I would say, is if you get an abusive message from anyone (sadly, it does happen), don't take anything they say personally...just report the message, delete it and block the sender. What they say most likely has nothing to do with you as a person, but everything to do with them not being able to accept that someone's not interested.
Having said all of that, it's worth sticking with it, there are some lovely, very sexy people here who genuinely want to have fun. It just takes a bit of time and patience to find what you're looking for.
Good luck!
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