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First time meet-ups and finding that confidence?
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Hi guys,
I was just wondering about your first time meeting up with someone and where you found that confidence to try it?! I'm interested in FABbing and I occasionally get some lovely messages from people but I'm struggling to pull up the confidence to take the next step and actually do a meet up.
I don't lead anyone on before anyone thinks I am, by the way, I always express how I'm a fab virgin and I'm nervous and just looking at the minute but I really feel the pull to dive in and would like to give it a go. I'm a large lady and have a confident exterior (but a slightly insecure interior lol) but us big gals like sex too 
So, how did you guys and gals brave it? It's a brave step for everyone but does anyone else feel slightly insecure? Do you find that people actually read your profiles etc when they message you/meet you? Im not everyone's cup of tea and would worry someone had mistakenly ordered the wrong beverage when I arrived   did you just get straight to messages or did you try clubs and socials?
Let's hear your first time stories and how you dealt with nerves etc, please?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys,
I was just wondering about your first time meeting up with someone and where you found that confidence to try it?! I'm interested in FABbing and I occasionally get some lovely messages from people but I'm struggling to pull up the confidence to take the next step and actually do a meet up.
I don't lead anyone on before anyone thinks I am, by the way, I always express how I'm a fab virgin and I'm nervous and just looking at the minute but I really feel the pull to dive in and would like to give it a go. I'm a large lady and have a confident exterior (but a slightly insecure interior lol) but us big gals like sex too
So, how did you guys and gals brave it? It's a brave step for everyone but does anyone else feel slightly insecure? Do you find that people actually read your profiles etc when they message you/meet you? Im not everyone's cup of tea and would worry someone had mistakenly ordered the wrong beverage when I arrived did you just get straight to messages or did you try clubs and socials?
Let's hear your first time stories and how you dealt with nerves etc, please?
"
You've already made the first few steps. You have a profile, words and some photos. It's not all about courage. Like you, I had conversations with some lovely people. There was never any pressure and as I felt happy that I knew a little about them it was an easy step to meet for a coffee or an evening drink.
Take your time OP. You will know she you feel happy to meet xxx |
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Lots of people get nervous meeting someone for the first time. Just make sure any photos are up to date so no-one can get a surprise when they see you. Make it for a coffee/social first so there's less pressure for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nerves are a good thing but they can get the better of you sometimes. 99 times out of 100 the person you are meeting is also nervous too.
Coffee somewhere busy is always good because you are somewhere safe.
If you are looking to dive in to playing then taking your time to find the right person is a good way to go about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just meet in a public place that you feel comfotable in and make first meet just a coffee date and take it from there.
No pressures no agendas no expectations.
Just enjoy a coffee and a chat and see how it goes.
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
Coffee meet is a good idea, no pressure and you don't have to stay long if you don't like the guy or get too nervous again.
The first guy i met since i broke up with an ex suggested that to me when i said i was nervous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys,
I was just wondering about your first time meeting up with someone and where you found that confidence to try it?! I'm interested in FABbing and I occasionally get some lovely messages from people but I'm struggling to pull up the confidence to take the next step and actually do a meet up.
I don't lead anyone on before anyone thinks I am, by the way, I always express how I'm a fab virgin and I'm nervous and just looking at the minute but I really feel the pull to dive in and would like to give it a go. I'm a large lady and have a confident exterior (but a slightly insecure interior lol) but us big gals like sex too
So, how did you guys and gals brave it? It's a brave step for everyone but does anyone else feel slightly insecure? Do you find that people actually read your profiles etc when they message you/meet you? Im not everyone's cup of tea and would worry someone had mistakenly ordered the wrong beverage when I arrived did you just get straight to messages or did you try clubs and socials?
Let's hear your first time stories and how you dealt with nerves etc, please?
"
I'm over in Hull on 21st. If you want to meet a genuine nice guy. No hassle, just a drink or a meal.Nothing required in return, just to break the ice. Let me know. It you cancel last minute I will understand. X |
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Even now I still get butterflies in tummy etc before going on a meet or hosting at mine. That's why I like a social coffee/tea first to get over those nerves and see if the spark of attraction is there when meeting in person for first time.
Like the others have said OP, you've made a good start with your profile and your pics show who is on the menu |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi guys,
I was just wondering about your first time meeting up with someone and where you found that confidence to try it?! I'm interested in FABbing and I occasionally get some lovely messages from people but I'm struggling to pull up the confidence to take the next step and actually do a meet up.
I don't lead anyone on before anyone thinks I am, by the way, I always express how I'm a fab virgin and I'm nervous and just looking at the minute but I really feel the pull to dive in and would like to give it a go. I'm a large lady and have a confident exterior (but a slightly insecure interior lol) but us big gals like sex too
So, how did you guys and gals brave it? It's a brave step for everyone but does anyone else feel slightly insecure? Do you find that people actually read your profiles etc when they message you/meet you? Im not everyone's cup of tea and would worry someone had mistakenly ordered the wrong beverage when I arrived did you just get straight to messages or did you try clubs and socials?
Let's hear your first time stories and how you dealt with nerves etc, please?
"
You have made a brillant step already x
i also get very nervous but i do a coffee on a first meet as it can be for 20 minutes or 2 hours! I think its natural to have some nerves, as one lovely lady said keep your pics up to date and then no surprises..
Best of luck you seem absolutely lovely x |
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When i had my single profile ,I did social meets and advised whoever i was meeting that there would be no guarentee of play etc.
That way you can have a cuppa/drink in public ,flirt and chat without any pressure .
Take it at your pace op and only meet when you feel comfortable to do so.
Good luck xx
Miss |
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"Hi guys,
I was just wondering about your first time meeting up with someone and where you found that confidence to try it?! I'm interested in FABbing and I occasionally get some lovely messages from people but I'm struggling to pull up the confidence to take the next step and actually do a meet up.
I don't lead anyone on before anyone thinks I am, by the way, I always express how I'm a fab virgin and I'm nervous and just looking at the minute but I really feel the pull to dive in and would like to give it a go. I'm a large lady and have a confident exterior (but a slightly insecure interior lol) but us big gals like sex too
So, how did you guys and gals brave it? It's a brave step for everyone but does anyone else feel slightly insecure? Do you find that people actually read your profiles etc when they message you/meet you? Im not everyone's cup of tea and would worry someone had mistakenly ordered the wrong beverage when I arrived did you just get straight to messages or did you try clubs and socials?
Let's hear your first time stories and how you dealt with nerves etc, please?
"
you have a verification from meeting in person? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's bloody nerve-wracking every single time but also a good buzz when you find the right people.
It's good to step out of the comfort zone every so often. Xx |
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"You have a veri on your profile from a meet?  "
Just to clarify the verification on my profile: it's from the person I'm seeing (as I say in my profile) He plays on here and verified me a while ago in case I decided to play so people would know I'm a real person not a fake profile/picture stealer/weirdo because apparently that happens?  I never met up with anyone or talked to anyone with the purpose of meeting because I bottled it. I was just too insecure with my looks |
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Did anyone meet up and then found that you weren't attracted to them/had no connection? What did you do?
Thank you all for your lovely words (you know how to make a girl feel special!) I think a Coffee date sounds like my cup of tea like you all said, it's informal. I really just want to be able to connect with others and feel sexy and BE sexy! It's hard as a big sized girl with a smaller sized confidence to be able to take that leap and be confident and sexy but I want to  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did anyone meet up and then found that you weren't attracted to them/had no connection? What did you do?
Thank you all for your lovely words (you know how to make a girl feel special!) I think a Coffee date sounds like my cup of tea like you all said, it's informal. I really just want to be able to connect with others and feel sexy and BE sexy! It's hard as a big sized girl with a smaller sized confidence to be able to take that leap and be confident and sexy but I want to "
Meet on a social basis first and meet someone you connect with and generally get on with. I always did 1hr or 2 where I had to go and do something after as always added to excitement if I liked them to arrange a play meet but if not going so well it wasn't long enough to get myself worked up over.
I think from messages you'll get a good feel to who you like and don't. Maybe go to a local social only event and chat to others.
Clubs can be daunting but that's what I did one night just took myself along and never looked back as it gave me a massive confidence boost to.
We have been swinging on and off for 5 yrs and I used to swing as a single to do any questions etc feel free to message x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did anyone meet up and then found that you weren't attracted to them/had no connection? What did you do?
Thank you all for your lovely words (you know how to make a girl feel special!) I think a Coffee date sounds like my cup of tea like you all said, it's informal. I really just want to be able to connect with others and feel sexy and BE sexy! It's hard as a big sized girl with a smaller sized confidence to be able to take that leap and be confident and sexy but I want to "
Best thing to do is just enjoy the meeting. Be honest and say I don't think it is going to work out. Thank you for the time we have had and hopefully everyone is mature enough to move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ahh I totally know where you're coming from... I was so nervous the first time, but I recommend a social. A pub is a good choice with the view to maybe play later.
Put honest, up-to-date pictures on, I've got nude ones in private. I just always feel more comfortable if the other person knows that I'm a super chunk!
Remember, nerves are good! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi,
I've met a few times and felt no connection. I usually know instantly if things won't go further and I do say so. One guy I met was brilliant, we ended up going out, getting pissed and danced the night away. We still chat on here now and then and have said we'd love to do it again! It's not all about sex!!
Mind you, one spooked me right out! He was saying stuff like "are your nipples hard" (this was within a minute of meeting! I declined a drink and left  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Imagine your going to have the best time ever, and if you miss it, you'll regret it. That'll push you to do it
And then go with no expectations.
Everything else is for you to overcome and find out. But nerves always means you care about it |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
Always remember everyone is not for everyone. Some people you meet you will like but they wont like you, some will like you and you wont like them. Be thick skinned as you have to be on fab and don't take rejection personally, again it is fab and that is going to happen. BUT when both of you like each other... wow, nerves, excitement and great times ahead. This lifestyle is brilliant, frustrating, confusing even sometimes when people are not as honest as they should be. Mrs F was nearly physically sick on the way to our first meet, we made it there and wow what a night it turned out to be. We have gone on to meet great people and made some amazing friends. So remember don't take rejection personal and be thick skinned and you will have a great time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This thread is a good step. I'd say, in no particular order:
* Make sure you feel comfortable with them, exchange face pics etc.
* Meet in public the first and maybe even second time.
* Have a friend on standby to rescue you if necessary.
* Don't feel ashamed to leave if it doesn't feel right. Question your instincts only when you get home.
Stay safe and happy Fabbing |
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I'll just be polite and say thanks for the coffee but I'm not interested in taking it any further, usually on a message. Although I have been asked there and then if I'd like to make arrangements which is a bit awkward but if they're going to ask I'm still going to say the same 
Good luck OP, you have a well written profile which explains a lot about you. The problem you might have is the guys might not read it!! 
