FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Swinging with attached men
Swinging with attached men
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So do many women/men/couples respond to the 'ive got a wife/gf/bf they don't know I swing and I'm looking for discreet meets' with a hey how you doing? Lol
I usually will just respond that we will not play with people who are deceiving partners etc but wondered if any of you will give them a chance?
X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I expected mixed opinions
I like the fact your not there to judge
I just know i'd be gutted to be on the receiving end and I think that's what stops us x |
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We won't meet people with partners at home, we like repeat meets and don't want the drama if the partner finds out.
We don't ask singles at clubs as they tend to be a 1 off and no address, phone number or details have been exchanged |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No one is better than any one else...especially here....each to there own...
personally i would prefer married!
Less likely to be a crazy stalker and turn up at your door at 3 in the morning  |
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Men are often bashed for this op ,but its seen as desirable by some men when a woman is attached.
WE meet couples so only,so not as much as an issue for us.However we have turned down couples who are married to other people and swinging with fb etc.
Do whatever feels right for you
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Speaking as woman who is attached here and playing alone all I can say is everyone has there own reasons for doing what they do.
I have received messages from couples who have asked me if I'd like to play when it states no married or attached people on their profile.
I think guys get a harder time for being attached. |
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"So do many women/men/couples respond to the 'ive got a wife/gf/bf they don't know I swing and I'm looking for discreet meets' with a hey how you doing? Lol
I usually will just respond that we will not play with people who are deceiving partners etc but wondered if any of you will give them a chance?
X"
Yes, if I can meet at his and he doesn't mind if I leave a mark.
Can't think why no one has taken me up on my offer...sigh...single men it is then!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Someone's marital status is no concern of mine, how they conduct themselves is.
If I believe we share a common ground on how we meet & behave then I have no concerns.
Actually, this applies to everyone I meet.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone's marital status is no concern of mine, how they conduct themselves is.
If I believe we share a common ground on how we meet & behave then I have no concerns.
Actually, this applies to everyone I meet.
"
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone's marital status is no concern of mine, how they conduct themselves is.
If I believe we share a common ground on how we meet & behave then I have no concerns.
Actually, this applies to everyone I meet.
"
Voice of reason again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've happily done this with ladies...."
It's interesting how double standards come into play.
Attached or married Women,seemingly, can meet without the issue raising it's head, but us men are not to be trusted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Speaking as woman who is attached here and playing alone all I can say is everyone has there own reasons for doing what they do.
I have received messages from couples who have asked me if I'd like to play when it states no married or attached people on their profile.
I think guys get a harder time for being attached."
Yup! It happens. Both single women and couples that have clearly said they are not interested in married men, either on their profiles or on the forums have tried to get in to my skinny jeans! Oh the deciet! 
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
"Speaking as woman who is attached here and playing alone all I can say is everyone has there own reasons for doing what they do.
I have received messages from couples who have asked me if I'd like to play when it states no married or attached people on their profile.
I think guys get a harder time for being attached."
I'm also attached and playing alone. I accept that most will not want to play with me because of my infidelity; Fab is all about choice, in the same way that I choose not meet anyone who states "420 friendly"on thier profile.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Speaking as woman who is attached here and playing alone all I can say is everyone has there own reasons for doing what they do.
I have received messages from couples who have asked me if I'd like to play when it states no married or attached people on their profile.
I think guys get a harder time for being attached.
Yup! It happens. Both single women and couples that have clearly said they are not interested in married men, either on their profiles or on the forums have tried to get in to my skinny jeans! Oh the deciet!
"
That's when they've realised the hotties are usually attached |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Speaking as woman who is attached here and playing alone all I can say is everyone has there own reasons for doing what they do.
I have received messages from couples who have asked me if I'd like to play when it states no married or attached people on their profile.
I think guys get a harder time for being attached."
Spot on there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I want to know is why don't they just get a divorce if they're not happy at home?? ..
Hashtag #simples"
Because in most cases it isn't that simple. There can be many and varied reasons. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Speaking as woman who is attached here and playing alone all I can say is everyone has there own reasons for doing what they do.
I have received messages from couples who have asked me if I'd like to play when it states no married or attached people on their profile.
I think guys get a harder time for being attached.
Yup! It happens. Both single women and couples that have clearly said they are not interested in married men, either on their profiles or on the forums have tried to get in to my skinny jeans! Oh the deciet!
That's when they've realised the hotties are usually attached "
Well now you mention it...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Speaking as woman who is attached here and playing alone all I can say is everyone has there own reasons for doing what they do.
I have received messages from couples who have asked me if I'd like to play when it states no married or attached people on their profile.
I think guys get a harder time for being attached.
Spot on there. "
Thanks |
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"No one is better than any one else...especially here....each to there own...
personally i would prefer married!
Less likely to be a crazy stalker and turn up at your door at 3 in the morning "
I'm not married but can I just turn up at your door?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No one is better than any one else...especially here....each to there own...
personally i would prefer married!
Less likely to be a crazy stalker and turn up at your door at 3 in the morning "
So very wrong. I met a married guy 3 years ago from here. My bad as it was a very odd friendship if you can call it that. After i ended our fb relationship after only a month, due to his irrational behaviour and emotional black*ail. He pestered me on the phone for several days before i told him i would call the police if he continued.
Anyway.. anyone married or single could turn out to be the stalker types.
Personally if a guy messages me who is married and states so on his profile .. i politely say im not interested. I dont give him grief about it .. its his choice.
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By *unguya2zMan
over a year ago
coventry..ish |
"No one is better than any one else...especially here....each to there own...
personally i would prefer married!
Less likely to be a crazy stalker and turn up at your door at 3 in the morning
So very wrong. I met a married guy 3 years ago from here. My bad as it was a very odd friendship if you can call it that. After i ended our fb relationship after only a month, due to his irrational behaviour and emotional black*ail. He pestered me on the phone for several days before i told him i would call the police if he continued.
Anyway.. anyone married or single could turn out to be the stalker types.
Personally if a guy messages me who is married and states so on his profile .. i politely say im not interested. I dont give him grief about it .. its his choice.
"
I like it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We do not intentionally play with attached people, obviously some lie,but as a rule we try to treat people the way we would like to be treated, growing up mum spent many nights sobbing because dad had been caught having an affair, it just doesnt feel right potentially inflicting that pain on anyone |
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"No one is better than any one else...especially here....each to there own...
personally i would prefer married!
Less likely to be a crazy stalker and turn up at your door at 3 in the morning "
You would think so right? |
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"We do not intentionally play with attached people, obviously some lie,but as a rule we try to treat people the way we would like to be treated, growing up mum spent many nights sobbing because dad had been caught having an affair, it just doesnt feel right potentially inflicting that pain on anyone"
This ^^^^ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We never ask, so wouldn't know if someone was attached or not. Though, over the years, we've had a lot of 'single' folk who seemed never to be able to meet on a Saturday night, but often asked for mid-week meets instead. Busy social animals at the weekend, perhaps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...I just know i'd be gutted to be on the receiving end and I think that's what stops us x"
That's what stops us as well. It's an absolute no go zone for me (Vixen). |
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By *illnatMan
over a year ago
wherever i need to be |
"Speaking as woman who is attached here and playing alone all I can say is everyone has there own reasons for doing what they do.
I have received messages from couples who have asked me if I'd like to play when it states no married or attached people on their profile.
I think guys get a harder time for being attached."
Agreed on all counts. |
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"We never ask, so wouldn't know if someone was attached or not. Though, over the years, we've had a lot of 'single' folk who seemed never to be able to meet on a Saturday night, but often asked for mid-week meets instead. Busy social animals at the weekend, perhaps."
Or maybe they work in the hotel and hospitality sector, which has weekends as their peak times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm married but my partner has no interest in sex anymore but I still have a really high sex drive. It seems to be frowned upon for men but if it's a woman they are queuing up for it. |
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I like to goto swing clubs and enjoy finding swinging partners; my partner doesn't but we have a shared and photo/user verified account to let people know they can ask and check with my partner in case they want to know I'm not playing without permission. Amazingly people then seem to assume that this means my partner wants to join in or 'should want to' join. So yeah even married with permission to play is tough for the single man. |
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By *wcwCouple
over a year ago
cheshire |
We dont agree with cheating. One bit. But when your at a club. Do you ask them first. Before making any advancment. They could just say no anyway. Most men we have spoken to at clubs. Are attatched. Some say thee partner knows. Mmmmmmm. But it duznt stop us when at a club. We dont ask. They tend to say at some point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We never ask, so wouldn't know if someone was attached or not. Though, over the years, we've had a lot of 'single' folk who seemed never to be able to meet on a Saturday night, but often asked for mid-week meets instead. Busy social animals at the weekend, perhaps.
Or maybe they work in the hotel and hospitality sector, which has weekends as their peak times "
Yeah, that will be it |
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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago
streatham |
"We do not intentionally play with attached people, obviously some lie,but as a rule we try to treat people the way we would like to be treated, growing up mum spent many nights sobbing because dad had been caught having an affair, it just doesnt feel right potentially inflicting that pain on anyone
This ^^^^"
Exactly!!
Everyone seems to go on about "not judging others", but I judge and monitor my own moral compass. How can I bleat on about being a faithful gf who would never hide this from a partner or cheat and then engage with someone who is.. Imagine I'm sucking someone off while his other half is sending him a loving text asking what time he'll be home..can't do it.. Obvs people lie, but I would never do it knowingly. No matter how you spin it, you are participating in the potential hurt of someone else..
Someone also mentioned infidelity is to be expected because this is a swinging site..erm since when was that part of the definition?..
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"We do not intentionally play with attached people, obviously some lie,but as a rule we try to treat people the way we would like to be treated, growing up mum spent many nights sobbing because dad had been caught having an affair, it just doesnt feel right potentially inflicting that pain on anyone
This ^^^^
Exactly!!
Everyone seems to go on about "not judging others", but I judge and monitor my own moral compass. How can I bleat on about being a faithful gf who would never hide this from a partner or cheat and then engage with someone who is.. Imagine I'm sucking someone off while his other half is sending him a loving text asking what time he'll be home..can't do it.. Obvs people lie, but I would never do it knowingly. No matter how you spin it, you are participating in the potential hurt of someone else..
Someone also mentioned infidelity is to be expected because this is a swinging site..erm since when was that part of the definition?..
"
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"I'm married but my partner has no interest in sex anymore but I still have a really high sex drive. It seems to be frowned upon for men but if it's a woman they are queuing up for it. "
Maybe women have more off a conscience about having sex with a cheat and lot's of men don't. |
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Think of it this way.....how would you feel if your partner was on a sex site without you knowing, and seeking to have sex with lots of random strangers?
I have been on the recieving end of cheating and would never entertain the idea of meeting anyone married or attached, unless part of a swinging couple where both partners are present.
Im not judging people or preaching, but i would'nt want to be a reason someone cheated on their partner.
Each to their own and everything but not for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why does society in this day of contraception and sti cures put so much faith and importance on sexual fidelity?
Imagine for a moment a world where sex was as unimportant as a handshake. Where casual sex with others was commonplace (as it is for some Fabbers).
I believe people would be far happier and there would be far less divorce and unhappiness. Excluding stis and pregnancy what real physical difference does having NSA sex with another make apart from making the person involved happy and relaxed.
Before you say "sex, its different" just think. Women in Britain walk around with their face and hair showing whilst flashing legs and clevage.
On the other hand we struggle to understand the restrictions placed on women from other countries where they have to be fully covered from head to toe. Their men would be horrified if they showed their face to a strange man. To us its normal.
Its a matter of degree. Physical violence, theft, mental cruelty, meanness with money, child abuse, failure to support, belittling in public etc. are all far more harmful than NSA sex.
So, can we get sex in proportion? Are those cheated on hurt because society has trained them to be hurt by infidelity? If sex was knocked off its pedistal would we be happier?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm married but my partner has no interest in sex anymore but I still have a really high sex drive. It seems to be frowned upon for men but if it's a woman they are queuing up for it.
Maybe women have more off a conscience about having sex with a cheat and lot's of men don't. "
No, it's more likely to be that men draw attention to themselves by generally being the ones that start the cheating threads where as the women just get on with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does not bother me really. But dont want partners threatening me. Did get confronted once. Soon backed off when he seen i was 6ft and stocky and he only reached my chin. So after a gentlemans conversation he walked away. Phew thought i had to chin him for a second. |
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"Think of it this way.....how would you feel if your partner was on a sex site without you knowing, and seeking to have sex with lots of random strangers?
I have been on the recieving end of cheating and would never entertain the idea of meeting anyone married or attached, unless part of a swinging couple where both partners are present.
Im not judging people or preaching, but i would'nt want to be a reason someone cheated on their partner.
Each to their own and everything but not for me "
I like hearing this from men it's unusual,it restores my faith a little,thankyou. |
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"Does not bother me really. But dont want partners threatening me. Did get confronted once. Soon backed off when he seen i was 6ft and stocky and he only reached my chin. So after a gentlemans conversation he walked away. Phew thought i had to chin him for a second."
So you not only had sex with his partner you wanted to be violent toward's him as well,nice chap indeed! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't judge. But at the same time I was the wife that got cheated on.so I want nothing to do with married/attached men. What they do is their business. Just don't involve me in it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm on a sex site...
Who am I to judge anyone?
I'm on here with my husband we play together and separately
All I ask is that the guys up front with me with his situation...not interested in details as that's none of my buisness
Stay clear of exchanging phone numbers as Iv had the angry wife call me before
Not cool
But some do some don't
Bit like anal
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"No one is better than any one else...especially here....each to there own...
personally i would prefer married!
Less likely to be a crazy stalker and turn up at your door at 3 in the morning "
Until they decide they 'want out' of their marriage and they want YOU in! 
Not saying that happens a lot - but I can imagine when it does it gets pretty damned nasty!
I personally don't judge - I'm a 'walk a mile in their shoes' kinda gal - but I wouldn't see an attached person too often because I don't want to get hurt - or hurt anyone else! Xx |
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"Think of it this way.....how would you feel if your partner was on a sex site without you knowing, and seeking to have sex with lots of random strangers?
I have been on the recieving end of cheating and would never entertain the idea of meeting anyone married or attached, unless part of a swinging couple where both partners are present.
Im not judging people or preaching, but i would'nt want to be a reason someone cheated on their partner.
Each to their own and everything but not for me
I like hearing this from men it's unusual,it restores my faith a little,thankyou."
|
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Has been reported 80% of people have been unfaithful , a lot of the couples at club are fb,s and a fair few of the guys are pretending to be single . We don't ask questions at club as what goes on there stays there . We have played with two married guys outside club , but with good reason , and we have played solo ourselfs , but notified our partners after , I would say a fare few on here would jump at the chance if offered to us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With attached people they are less complicated as it's just sex .if they were single they could end up having feelings. So my experience it's best they are attached and they don't become a stalker . |
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I don't judge
There are many reasons
However... I do explain that it's unlikely they can provide what I'm after in reality so there's little point...
When I list things out they invariably admit that they can't do that...
So it isn't really me saying no
It's about reality of practicality |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think of it this way.....how would you feel if your partner was on a sex site without you knowing, and seeking to have sex with lots of random strangers?
I have been on the recieving end of cheating and would never entertain the idea of meeting anyone married or attached, unless part of a swinging couple where both partners are present.
Im not judging people or preaching, but i would'nt want to be a reason someone cheated on their partner.
Each to their own and everything but not for me
I like hearing this from men it's unusual,it restores my faith a little,thankyou."
.....then they send the PM.
Not saying it's the case in this instance but dont trust everything that's said on a public forum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well said, I'm glad someone can see it for what it is.
Too much pressure is put on sex and what it should mean to people. Culture and our up bringing has taught us that's how we should feel.
I think that's why the wife hot wife thing is getting more common. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With attached people they are less complicated as it's just sex .if they were single they could end up having feelings. So my experience it's best they are attached and they don't become a stalker ."
I've just been chatting about emotions and casual sex, the two don't really mix too well in my recent experience. |
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"Think of it this way.....how would you feel if your partner was on a sex site without you knowing, and seeking to have sex with lots of random strangers?
I have been on the recieving end of cheating and would never entertain the idea of meeting anyone married or attached, unless part of a swinging couple where both partners are present.
Im not judging people or preaching, but i would'nt want to be a reason someone cheated on their partner.
Each to their own and everything but not for me
I like hearing this from men it's unusual,it restores my faith a little,thankyou.
.....then they send the PM.
Not saying it's the case in this instance but dont trust everything that's said on a public forum."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With attached people they are less complicated as it's just sex .if they were single they could end up having feelings. So my experience it's best they are attached and they don't become a stalker .
I've just been chatting about emotions and casual sex, the two don't really mix too well in my recent experience."
Seconded
Emotions can hit anyone as well - attached or single |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's just too hard not to fall for a beautiful person you spend lots of time chatting to, having lunch dates, dinner plans, movies and sex.
For me at least.
But this isn't really on the theme of the thread, sorry OP |
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I am married, my wife doesn't play, in fact she has no sexual desire these days. However, we are still best friends and she is aware that I play and is fine with it. We have rules, not in our bed, safe sex, discrete, she doesnt want to know who, what or when, and most important of all it must be NSA.
Unfortunately the site seems to have changed over tge years and my situation is rarely acceptable to the women here. Maybe because there is such an imbalance in the membership now, so much choice I'm not worth taking the chance on? |
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"Think of it this way.....how would you feel if your partner was on a sex site without you knowing, and seeking to have sex with lots of random strangers?
I have been on the recieving end of cheating and would never entertain the idea of meeting anyone married or attached, unless part of a swinging couple where both partners are present.
Im not judging people or preaching, but i would'nt want to be a reason someone cheated on their partner.
Each to their own and everything but not for me
I like hearing this from men it's unusual,it restores my faith a little,thankyou.
.....then they send the PM.
Not saying it's the case in this instance but dont trust everything that's said on a public forum."
Not all men are cheaters and some of us have morals. Like i said i have had it done to me, and would'nt want to be 'that guy' responsible for wrecking someones marriage should it ever come out, because i know the consequences of the outcome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I want to know is why don't they just get a divorce if they're not happy at home?? ..
Hashtag #simples
Because in most cases it isn't that simple. There can be many and varied reasons. "
Exactly.
Examples could be wife doesn't have high sex drive.
Doesn't want to leave wife/kids.
Who knows.
As I've grown older, I recognise people sometimes need more.
At the end of the day that's what we as a couple are doing.
It'd be harsh to judge when you don't know the individual situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No one is better than any one else...especially here....each to there own...
personally i would prefer married!
Less likely to be a crazy stalker and turn up at your door at 3 in the morning "
The only attached guy I DID meet with at home was the only one that's ever turned up at my house at 1am...banging on the door, saying that he wanted to 'talk'...
WTF?! 
Now I don't let anyone know where I live OR play with attached people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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at the end of the day anyone can lie about being married or not and as someone has said you dont ask guys/women in clubs or dogging if they are married (most dont anyway)so we take the view that they are all married men/women that way we can just get on with having fun |
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"With attached people they are less complicated as it's just sex .if they were single they could end up having feelings. So my experience it's best they are attached and they don't become a stalker .
I've just been chatting about emotions and casual sex, the two don't really mix too well in my recent experience.
Seconded
Emotions can hit anyone as well - attached or single"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think of it this way.....how would you feel if your partner was on a sex site without you knowing, and seeking to have sex with lots of random strangers?
I have been on the recieving end of cheating and would never entertain the idea of meeting anyone married or attached, unless part of a swinging couple where both partners are present.
Im not judging people or preaching, but i would'nt want to be a reason someone cheated on their partner.
Each to their own and everything but not for me
I like hearing this from men it's unusual,it restores my faith a little,thankyou.
.....then they send the PM.
Not saying it's the case in this instance but dont trust everything that's said on a public forum.
Not all men are cheaters and some of us have morals. Like i said i have had it done to me, and would'nt want to be 'that guy' responsible for wrecking someones marriage should it ever come out, because i know the consequences of the outcome "
That's why I said 'in this instance'...
As for morals, you live by yours & I'll by mine, one set doesn't fit all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm honest about my status and then it's up to the female to make a decision. Can see why many disapprove and why some are conflicted but ultimately it's my decision and I'm the one accountable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a married man playing solo. I find it difficult to arrange meets.
There are reasons I'm allowed to play solo. She knows i swing, but as long as I play discreet and safe it us ok.
No one's, business but ours....but if I meet another want to know then I usually explain.
Even been on the receiving end of abuse because some take themselves way too seriously. |
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"Think of it this way.....how would you feel if your partner was on a sex site without you knowing, and seeking to have sex with lots of random strangers?
I have been on the recieving end of cheating and would never entertain the idea of meeting anyone married or attached, unless part of a swinging couple where both partners are present.
Im not judging people or preaching, but i would'nt want to be a reason someone cheated on their partner.
Each to their own and everything but not for me
I like hearing this from men it's unusual,it restores my faith a little,thankyou.
.....then they send the PM.
Not saying it's the case in this instance but dont trust everything that's said on a public forum.
Not all men are cheaters and some of us have morals. Like i said i have had it done to me, and would'nt want to be 'that guy' responsible for wrecking someones marriage should it ever come out, because i know the consequences of the outcome
That's why I said 'in this instance'...
As for morals, you live by yours & I'll by mine, one set doesn't fit all."
Fair enough |
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people make their own decision. and nobody knows the whole picture, life isn't black and white. there is definitely more than 50 shades of grey
(sorry, couldn't help myself). I know couples who have benefited from some extra activity and I know couples for which it has ended the relationship. |
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"Someone's marital status is no concern of mine, how they conduct themselves is.
If I believe we share a common ground on how we meet & behave then I have no concerns.
Actually, this applies to everyone I meet.
"
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