FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Couples profiles on for over a year without verifications, Timewasters?
Couples profiles on for over a year without verifications, Timewasters?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all, I dont know about the rest of us real swingers, but im sick of being contacted by all the couples profiles who are on for over a year without verifications or pictures.
I think they should be automatically removed? whats your thoughts? |
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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago
more north lincs than mids! |
use the site as you see fit, and let others use it how they see fit. No one can insist other people have pictures, or that they MUST be verified.
Don't like the profile ... block and move on  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Hi all, I dont know about the rest of us real swingers, but im sick of being contacted by all the couples profiles who are on for over a year without verifications or pictures.
I think they should be automatically removed? whats your thoughts?"
ooh... can of worms all over the place
1) "real swingers".... hmmmmm
2) who decided you were all seeing and all knowing...
3) as lil said...people do with their profile as they will... why are people so concerned with others????
4) if a profile doesn't appeal to you... move on!!!! its a really simple concept... try it!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all, I dont know about the rest of us real swingers, but im sick of being contacted by all the couples profiles who are on for over a year without verifications or pictures.
I think they should be automatically removed? whats your thoughts?
ooh... can of worms all over the place
1) "real swingers".... hmmmmm
2) who decided you were all seeing and all knowing...
3) as lil said...people do with their profile as they will... why are people so concerned with others????
4) if a profile doesn't appeal to you... move on!!!! its a really simple concept... try it!!"
Nicely said, I meet a couple quite often who are not verified for pics or meets as they don't want to be, they also attend parties and clubs, definately not time wasters and they don't judge anyone |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"I've been a member for over a year, meet a few couples and singles but no-one has verified me, does it real matter is it a big deal? should I push for one."
do what you see fit.. don't listen to anyone else if you are happy with the way you do things...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of course everyone's free to do as they please but I think the point the thread op is trying to get at is to try and out the timewasters.
Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't that the idea of the verification system?
I can fully understand if people don't want to show verifications but what's the problem with being verified? Yes people might want to stay private but then just don't show them, you still get the veri tick.
Of course people can do with their profile as they please but I'm sure most people on here get fed up of timewasters and pic collecters at some point. Before anyone jumps on me and comments that a verification doesn't guarantee someone will turn up, I'm fully aware of that. It does, however, help people to out those that won't.
I think the op is wrong in singling out couples profiles as it's all profiles, men, women and couples that suffer the same problem.
Fine if people want to be on here just for fantasy, each to their own. It's when they start planning meets knowing they have no intentions of going through with it, that's when it get's frustrating. (And I used to be on here as a couple so got lot's of experiance with this  )
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yes I posted about couples as more and more are definatly false and fake profiles, by sad lonely guys sat at home waisting peoples time.
The verification system is what sets this apart from other sites and as such allows the users to see who's genuine and not.
And my point is the sites moderators will have easy access to all those who are like this and would be able to switch them off, with a months warning of course.
No pictures is not an excuse as is not pic verifying!! Take a pic of your arse etc. And upload.
This is a swinging site not a dating or time wasting site. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Of course everyone's free to do as they please but I think the point the thread op is trying to get at is to try and out the timewasters.
Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't that the idea of the verification system?
I can fully understand if people don't want to show verifications but what's the problem with being verified? Yes people might want to stay private but then just don't show them, you still get the veri tick.
Of course people can do with their profile as they please but I'm sure most people on here get fed up of timewasters and pic collecters at some point. Before anyone jumps on me and comments that a verification doesn't guarantee someone will turn up, I'm fully aware of that. It does, however, help people to out those that won't.
I think the op is wrong in singling out couples profiles as it's all profiles, men, women and couples that suffer the same problem.
Fine if people want to be on here just for fantasy, each to their own. It's when they start planning meets knowing they have no intentions of going through with it, that's when it get's frustrating. (And I used to be on here as a couple so got lot's of experiance with this )
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but to that i would say this.... again... point 4...
if you don't like something about someones profile.. or if something doesn't feel right.... move on!!
its not that hard a thing to do...
i don't see why people decide to complain about the things they can't control, as opposed to concentrating on the things that they can....
people will do things there way... verification is one of them... show them/don't show them/show one/show all/show graphic ones/show discretion ect ect ect.....
some people can't do right for doing wrong in other peoples' eyes...
if some persons profile sends alarm bells thru you for any reason... guess what...... move on... i know... radical
its people that dictate how someone else should do what they do that gets peoples backs up.... if we were all the same a)how would you then choose people? b) my god what a boring site it would be...... |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
This is a swinging site not a dating or time wasting site."
...... and i really hate people saying stuff like this because it is so condescending....
people who use to the site will determine what sort of site it is...
so if people want to use it to date they will....
if people what a quick shag with strangers they will....
if people want to get to know people socially for a long time before they play... guess what... they will!!!
the one thing I like to think about the whole swinging scene is that people are all embracing and all encompassing... but the reality is that some people are so narrow minded that they can't see past there own defination of what something is... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fabio, I'm not denying some of your points are valid. Maybe even most.
I don't agree that it's out of our control to get rid of the timewasters. Ok, maybe not get rid of but certainly limit how much they mess people around. If the verification system is used correctly it helps to identify the genuine members that are polite, friendly and turn up when they say they will.
I agree if you don't like a profile then you move on. It's a no brainer. All I'm saying is that it get's a bit tiresome having your inbox filled with shite from timewasters.
My definition of a timewaster on this site is someone who clearly hasn't read your profile, clearly isn't going to meet (rightly or wrongly I class people who have been on the site for more than a year and without veri or pics in this category), men pretending to be couples. The list is long and I'm sure most have experienced one or more of the above!
Don't get me wrong, I don't suffer from them now I've got a single profile lol. But when I was on here as a couple there were loads.
Bottom line is time wasters spoil the site for genuine members. Especially genuine single's. I'd be suprised if anyone would disagree with that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it would be very unfair on genuine wannabe swingers who are just coming into the scene. We were on the site over a year before we had our first meet but we spent that first year getting to know folk on the site and seeing if it was all for us.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it would be very unfair on genuine wannabe swingers who are just coming into the scene. We were on the site over a year before we had our first meet but we spent that first year getting to know folk on the site and seeing if it was all for us. "
Ok that's fine as long as you let everyone know where you stood. I'm not saying people shouldn't be given a shot otherwise how would people get verified
I'm on about people who arrange to meet people knowing they have no intentions of seeing it through.
The people who will lead you to believe they wish to meet when all they want you to do is go on cam and get your tits out so they can have a wank. Or see your pics or get you to talk dirty to them. (Experience from when I was on here with my ex)
It's those people that I'm sure most people would be happy to see the back of.
I'm not saying that people only here to chat and make friends should be kicked from the site at all. As previously mentioned by _abio it would be a boring site and it would surely put newbies off wanting to swing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i am sick of the men that do this, the cpls you are referring to is most probs single men anyway"
Some are some aint, my point is that they should be switched off, we pay money to support the site so get no advertisements, and this is a form of false advertising so should equally be switched off!!
As for being sick of single guys that do this im not going there on that one!! suffice to say i hate it when couples slag off single guys . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As someone else said, what if someone wishes to use the site to socialise at first and get comfortable with the scene? That's their right.
Or if someone joined, then met someone and didn't log on for months then came back when they were single again and is now taking time to find a meet? That's their right also.
I hate all this "people should all be made to do this or be removed" crap. Live and let live.
Incidentally, the only time I've had someone arrange a meet, got ready and sat waiting for someone who didn't turn up....he was verified - by a number of women. I've given several unverified guys a chance and never had a let down. (but lots of fun tho ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i would say some are genuine i cant put up loads of pics but ive had good meets and am genuine admittedly my pic aint great but the reviews are genuine and im genuine maybe just a rare one but thats my oppinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont know about couples but some of the woman ive met recently have not left me any verification yet are still in touch and happy to meet again.
maybe some meet and dont wish to let others know.
just a thought. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As someone else said, what if someone wishes to use the site to socialise at first and get comfortable with the scene? That's their right.
Or if someone joined, then met someone and didn't log on for months then came back when they were single again and is now taking time to find a meet? That's their right also.
I hate all this "people should all be made to do this or be removed" crap. Live and let live.
Incidentally, the only time I've had someone arrange a meet, got ready and sat waiting for someone who didn't turn up....he was verified - by a number of women. I've given several unverified guys a chance and never had a let down. (but lots of fun tho )"
If you meet someone unless going to swing with them why would you want to keep the single profile active, can always hide it!! think the problem is the ones that are regulary active in forums replying to adverts, posting looking to meet tonight and contacting people and not meeting up.
A year is beyond feeling comfortable and socialising, you either want to swing or not and know very quickly if the scene is for you, plenty of clubs socials to goto each month so dont buy the live and let live approach.
My opinion but know alot of others feel the same and would like the timewasting to be reduced, otherwise it will become like some other sites about where it becomes to easy to mess about people, have seen other sites start great then go crap because of this.
A deterrant is a good way to keep the wankers out, pun intended lol |
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"Hi all, I dont know about the rest of us real swingers, but im sick of being contacted by all the couples profiles who are on for over a year without verifications or pictures.
I think they should be automatically removed? whats your thoughts?"
Why ?...personally i would remove from the site anyone who complained about the way others run their profiles on the forums.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi all, I dont know about the rest of us real swingers, but im sick of being contacted by all the couples profiles who are on for over a year without verifications or pictures.
I think they should be automatically removed? whats your thoughts?
Why ?...personally i would remove from the site anyone who complained about the way others run their profiles on the forums. "
lol, like it someone with a proper opinion lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
The easy answer to this is use the filters properly and the advanced search for people that are verified,have pics ect so that you can find what you're looking for instead of having your inbox filled with people you think are timewasters
I doubt admim would ever automatically remove anyone for not being verified and im glad they don't
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Aaaargh!
We get so fed up of people berating profiles for being timewasters, and then coming up with ingenious ideas to filter these rogues out.
Lets take a step back and consider what they actually mean by “time waster”.
Mr single guy gets home from work, opens his fab account and sees he has a message!
Brilliant – single guys getting messages from couples are a rarity, so he opens it immediately, drafts a witty and charming reply and presses send.
And waits.
A short while later he gets a response, which looks very promising, and then enters into email tennis with the couple (although he hopes it is a short rally... he would much prefer to cut to the chase).
It may even get as far as arranging a meeting.
And then it goes quiet.
“Timewasters!!” he cries.
In reality what he means is that his hopes of a meet, the mental image he had drawn up of the fun he was going to have, the sheer excitement and anticipation he was experiencing has all vanished. So the other persons are blamed as timewasters. Wasting his valuable time.
However, if he had bothered to look in the first place, he might have noticed there were no pictures on the profile, or maybe there were pictures, but they were just to good to be true. Or that the people had indeed never met anyone before. Or that the profile text was one sentence long. Or one of the many many other hints and clues you get when looking at a persons profile as to whether it is genuine or not. Maybe they had even just decided they did not like him, but did not want to say so.
Frankly the OP’s suggestion that the profiles who have not been verified after a year be deleted, smacks of laziness, and effectively wanting the site to do the filtering process for him.
In our view the best course of action is to treat every contact with a degree of scepticism, and then if they do turn out to be genuine its a bonus!
By way of example, we received a message a couple of weeks ago from a couple In London – 300 miles away. But they were really keen to meet. However because of family problems  they had hidden there profile. We could contact them via MSN to arrange something...
After managing to stop our tears of laughter, we did actually reply (via fab), asking what they were after. A couple of messages more, and when he realised we were not going to give out MSN all went quiet.
Bloody Timewasters!!
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Ok..... so you don't have to show your verifications, just hide them, you still have the tick, which obviously proves you are a genuine swinger.
So if I verify someone saying, was late turning up, when he did, his pictures were 3 years and 5 stone out of date, and then he tried to slip in bareback. He isn't going to show that verification, but he's still got that verification tick, so he's obviously genuine!!!
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".
A year is beyond feeling comfortable and socialising, you either want to swing or not and know very quickly if the scene is for you, plenty of clubs socials to goto each month so dont buy the live and let live approach.
My opinion but know alot of others feel the same and would like the timewasting to be reduced, otherwise it will become like some other sites about where it becomes to easy to mess about people, have seen other sites start great then go crap because of this.
A deterrant is a good way to keep the wankers out, pun intended lol"
Who died and made you God? Ffs so every new swinger has an expiry date! i really thought i had heard it all then you pop up.
i and others have said many times veris do not make someone genuine,they are simply a tool some choose to use.
Some ppl do create a profile to feed a fantasy,(i hate the terms pic collectors and timewasters as meaningless).They are not hard to spot.
If u believe a profile is fake report it,otherwise stop inventing rules of what swinging is...cos according to some rules as a single male you are not even a swinger! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all, I dont know about the rest of us real swingers, but im sick of being contacted by all the couples profiles who are on for over a year without verifications or pictures.
I think they should be automatically removed? whats your thoughts?"
How about using the message filters that stop unverified site users from contacting you? It really is that simple!
That way, you don't get the 'unwanted' contact from said 'timewasters'.
Stop worrying about how other folk use the site... it's already been said by someone else that they waited over a year before deciding to meet.... I'm guessing there are others that are in that position as it can take a lot of guts to actually start swinging, especially when you are in a relationship and you are swinging for the first time as a couple. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Aaaargh!
We get so fed up of people berating profiles for being timewasters, and then coming up with ingenious ideas to filter these rogues out.
Lets take a step back and consider what they actually mean by “time waster”.
Mr single guy gets home from work, opens his fab account and sees he has a message!
Brilliant – single guys getting messages from couples are a rarity, so he opens it immediately, drafts a witty and charming reply and presses send.
And waits.
A short while later he gets a response, which looks very promising, and then enters into email tennis with the couple (although he hopes it is a short rally... he would much prefer to cut to the chase).
It may even get as far as arranging a meeting.
And then it goes quiet.
“Timewasters!!” he cries.
In reality what he means is that his hopes of a meet, the mental image he had drawn up of the fun he was going to have, the sheer excitement and anticipation he was experiencing has all vanished. So the other persons are blamed as timewasters. Wasting his valuable time.
However, if he had bothered to look in the first place, he might have noticed there were no pictures on the profile, or maybe there were pictures, but they were just to good to be true. Or that the people had indeed never met anyone before. Or that the profile text was one sentence long. Or one of the many many other hints and clues you get when looking at a persons profile as to whether it is genuine or not. Maybe they had even just decided they did not like him, but did not want to say so.
Frankly the OP’s suggestion that the profiles who have not been verified after a year be deleted, smacks of laziness, and effectively wanting the site to do the filtering process for him.
In our view the best course of action is to treat every contact with a degree of scepticism, and then if they do turn out to be genuine its a bonus!
By way of example, we received a message a couple of weeks ago from a couple In London – 300 miles away. But they were really keen to meet. However because of family problems they had hidden there profile. We could contact them via MSN to arrange something...
After managing to stop our tears of laughter, we did actually reply (via fab), asking what they were after. A couple of messages more, and when he realised we were not going to give out MSN all went quiet.
Bloody Timewasters!!
"
lol i know what all the pitfalls are, and its not lazyness just see it getting worse and more frequent as the site expands, and think it is the owners of the sites responsibility to take an interest to clean up the site and not just sit there take our money and hold their hands up when they could be doing more to help.
The verification system for photos and meets is one that works very well if used properly, and one which makes swinging far easier and i see other less successful sites are now copying.
Just think its time to look at it again and see if it can be improved to help out and ill say it again "genuine swingers" who do like to meet for NSA sex.
Apart from another site which is a pay one this is the best by far and would hate it to slip.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi all, I dont know about the rest of us real swingers, but im sick of being contacted by all the couples profiles who are on for over a year without verifications or pictures.
I think they should be automatically removed? whats your thoughts?
How about using the message filters that stop unverified site users from contacting you? It really is that simple!
That way, you don't get the 'unwanted' contact from said 'timewasters'.
Stop worrying about how other folk use the site... it's already been said by someone else that they waited over a year before deciding to meet.... I'm guessing there are others that are in that position as it can take a lot of guts to actually start swinging, especially when you are in a relationship and you are swinging for the first time as a couple."
I dont mind any unverified people contacting me as someone has to start somewhere, if you actually read what i put its the people/couples/singles that after 12 months not meeting someone or putting pics on or being pic verified that need to be culled, as can see they are not likly to play but on everyday posting meet today etc. 12 months is enought grace to give someone time to see if they like this site or not.
I have met people who are unverified in past but they had pictures spoke on the phone etc before meeting etc.
just like those that played 3 years ago as a couple, are they one now?? have they split up?? who knows,best to avoid i do
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You have already been given the simple solution to your problems, just block unverified profiles.
Job done!
But of course you then miss the chance that one of those messages you were going to get was in fact genuine..... |
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i was on this site for over 3 months and had not had a meet,not by choice but because 90 percent of couples said they wouldnt meet someone without feedback even though i was photo verified. So its all a crock of crap, your dambed if you do and your dambed if you dont. |
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Not everyone who is unverified is 'fake' or not genuine. We play in clubs and have had fun with people who are either not on fab or who we haven't even exchanged names with so they can't verify us. That doesn't mean we aren't genuine.
As has been said before, it's your choice whether you establish contact with someone who is unverified ... if you think they're time-wasters because they don't have any then give them a miss. Simple really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im on this site as a single guy in scotland [verified]as part of a cpl in london [ unverified]why cos we play in clubs or on cam [ caramelcream] now we not timewasters, and only play when and with whoever we want, sounds like the op has had a few knock backs like tons of guys have had me included , like lot of others have said just get on with it , |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lol i know what all the pitfalls are, and its not lazyness just see it getting worse and more frequent as the site expands, and think it is the owners of the sites responsibility to take an interest to clean up the site and not just sit there take our money and hold their hands up when they could be doing more to help.
The verification system for photos and meets is one that works very well if used properly, and one which makes swinging far easier and i see other less successful sites are now copying.
Just think its time to look at it again and see if it can be improved to help out and ill say it again "genuine swingers" who do like to meet for NSA sex.
Apart from another site which is a pay one this is the best by far and would hate it to slip.
"
Actually, you *are* being lazy, IMO. This is a primarily free site - whether you opt to pay a fiver a month or not makes no difference whether you can message someone or not. The site owners run the site exceptionally well but it's up to us the users to take some responsibility too in how we use. You have the message filters - use them! You have the block option - use it! You have common sense - use that too!
FFS, it makes me mad when people want it all on a plate and just moan because it's not perfect for them.
I routinely block people I see whingeing on the forums now because I don't want to shag moaners, frankly.
The whiners really ought to realise they create such a negative impression of themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i was on this site for over 3 months and had not had a meet,not by choice but because 90 percent of couples said they wouldnt meet someone without feedback even though i was photo verified. So its all a crock of crap, your dambed if you do and your dambed if you dont."
Not strictly true. For example, I filter out newbies and unverifieds in the messaging system, simply to cut down on being swamped. But I can still browse their profiles if I choose and contact them if I like the sound of them. I have had meets with a couple of unverifieds before, because they had really well written profiles. And trust me, in my line of work I have an excellent bullshit detector so I can spot someone dodgy a mile off, but I can also spot someone who comes over as true but just doesn't have the veris yet for whatever reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all, I dont know about the rest of us real swingers, but im sick of being contacted by all the couples profiles who are on for over a year without verifications or pictures."
This is where you show annoyance at getting contact from 'all' of the unverified-been-on-here-over-a-year couples... this is a first for a single male... moaning at getting mail!!!
"I think they should be automatically removed? whats your thoughts?"
No automatic removal required!
"I dont mind any unverified people contacting me as someone has to start somewhere, if you actually read what i put"
I did actually...
"its the people/couples/singles that after 12 months not meeting someone or putting pics on or being pic verified that need to be culled, as can see they are not likly to play but on everyday posting meet today etc. 12 months is enought grace to give someone time to see if they like this site or not."
They do not need to be culled... maybe they don't want to be photo-verified?... maybe they don't want any pics on here at all?... maybe they use email or msn to show pics once they are comfortable sending them to an interested party?.. maybe they need time to take the plunge and establish long-term contact with other swingers to get their heads around swinging?... maybe they are super fussy about who they meet?... maybe one or both keep losing their bottle because it is a big thing sharing your wife/husband/partner with another after a long period of exclusivity?
There are so many reasons....
It took us more the 10 years of talking about introducing others into our sexual relationship. It is only in the last few months we plucked up the courage to go for it... we have, like every other couple on this site, something to lose... our relationship. I'm guessing that you haven't had to face that? (forgive me if I am wrong). But, it seems that without any insite into swinging with a loved one, you should hold-fire on judging how couples use this and any other swinging site.
"I have met people who are unverified in past but they had pictures spoke on the phone etc before meeting etc."
May I suggest you stick to this selection process and simply ignore those that don't have/want pics or verifications on THEIR profile?
"just like those that played 3 years ago as a couple, are they one now?? have they split up?? who knows,best to avoid i do"
Gives me an impression you couldn't give a flying hoot... maybe that's why you can't see or imagine what a big deal swinging can be to those in a relationship? ....again, forgive me if I am wrong... |
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So, if they are culled from the site.... they will simply join again. lol What would be the point? People do what they want with their profiles and meet or dont meet. Only problem is that people sometimes lie to get what they want. Shocker. lol Often wonder how people without a bs detector get on in every day life. lol
Mistress x |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
can i just say..... "frock"... I love you!!!! 
back to the thread..
I am so glad that so many people thought what the OP has spouted has been nonsense... after all in the end you can only go at the speed of the slowest person... and if that speed is too "slow" for them...
guess what....
move on!!!
I absolutely get that it takes time for people to take that plunge... and that "time" shouldn't have a time limit on it.... if it takes them days/months/years to find the right people than so be it...
I wouldn't want to be rushed..... and those "understanding" people will get that....
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
p.s.... and out of interest WTF is a "real" and "genuine" swinger anyway.....
because like others have as said... as a single guy a lot of people would not consider us "singles" as swingers anyway... (not going down that road at all....)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"p.s.... and out of interest WTF is a "real" and "genuine" swinger anyway.....
because like others have as said... as a single guy a lot of people would not consider us "singles" as swingers anyway... (not going down that road at all....)
"
Applauds this. Swinging is not only about couples. Not in my book, anyway. I've swung as a couple and as a singleton. So there 
(and don't forget us single women!) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"we have been on over a year, we have pictures on our profile, we have been on cam many times, we are still not verified, is this our fault??????
we think not. "
is camming swinging?? im not sure?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi all, I dont know about the rest of us real swingers, but im sick of being contacted by all the couples profiles who are on for over a year without verifications or pictures.
This is where you show annoyance at getting contact from 'all' of the unverified-been-on-here-over-a-year couples... this is a first for a single male... moaning at getting mail!!!
I think they should be automatically removed? whats your thoughts?
No automatic removal required!
I dont mind any unverified people contacting me as someone has to start somewhere, if you actually read what i put
I did actually...
its the people/couples/singles that after 12 months not meeting someone or putting pics on or being pic verified that need to be culled, as can see they are not likly to play but on everyday posting meet today etc. 12 months is enought grace to give someone time to see if they like this site or not.
They do not need to be culled... maybe they don't want to be photo-verified?... maybe they don't want any pics on here at all?... maybe they use email or msn to show pics once they are comfortable sending them to an interested party?.. maybe they need time to take the plunge and establish long-term contact with other swingers to get their heads around swinging?... maybe they are super fussy about who they meet?... maybe one or both keep losing their bottle because it is a big thing sharing your wife/husband/partner with another after a long period of exclusivity?
There are so many reasons....
It took us more the 10 years of talking about introducing others into our sexual relationship. It is only in the last few months we plucked up the courage to go for it... we have, like every other couple on this site, something to lose... our relationship. I'm guessing that you haven't had to face that? (forgive me if I am wrong). But, it seems that without any insite into swinging with a loved one, you should hold-fire on judging how couples use this and any other swinging site.
I have met people who are unverified in past but they had pictures spoke on the phone etc before meeting etc.
May I suggest you stick to this selection process and simply ignore those that don't have/want pics or verifications on THEIR profile?
just like those that played 3 years ago as a couple, are they one now?? have they split up?? who knows,best to avoid i do
Gives me an impression you couldn't give a flying hoot... maybe that's why you can't see or imagine what a big deal swinging can be to those in a relationship? ....again, forgive me if I am wrong... "
Sorry frock you are wrong totally as have swung as a couple for many years until my wife and i split up, and had apsolutly nothing to do with swinging at all, we got married too young and grew apart and are still very good friends and are still FB's!! we were very secure and loved swinging as a couple!!
All i can say is it took us less than 3 months to decide to swing and we really enjoyed it, made alot easier than picking up in clubs having sites like this.
As for talking for 10years about bringing someone into our relationship, then wow i really fear for you both as trust is massive when swinging as im sure you realise allready!! again forgive me if wrong!!
FFS im allowed an opinion as much as all you are, wether you agree or not with what im saying its a fact there are loads of idiots out there timewasting!!
Since becoming single and having used this site on and off (i remove profile when take a break or get stalked lol)its become more difficult to see the wood for the trees!! it was a suggestion as to how to get it better, if your happy with the status quo then continue doing what you doing dont shoot down someone who comes up with a suggestion!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"can i just say..... "frock"... I love you!!!!
back to the thread..
I am so glad that so many people thought what the OP has spouted has been nonsense... after all in the end you can only go at the speed of the slowest person... and if that speed is too "slow" for them...
guess what....
move on!!!
I absolutely get that it takes time for people to take that plunge... and that "time" shouldn't have a time limit on it.... if it takes them days/months/years to find the right people than so be it...
I wouldn't want to be rushed..... and those "understanding" people will get that....
"
Brilliant, so many 5/6 off the site!! great percentage of those that are on here so ill take then that the other 99.9999 of people that are on her agree with me then. lmao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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@pleasure giver... do not assume that trust is what held us back for so long. You are so far off the scale with your assumption as you are with many of your assumptions pal. Keep your fearing to yourself as it is not needed nor welcomed.
Whoopie do for you getting into the swinging so early on in your relationship... I'm so impressed.
....Breaking News!!! Everyone is different... not everyone is going to jump into swinging only 3 months into a relationship nor 12 months or whatever timescale you want to set on it.
....and I might push the point that someone else made... 12 month auto-cull will only see users start a new profile. I wonder if you would be able to spot these so-called timewasters so easily then?
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And the judgements, assumptions and sheer idiocy continue.
One point to make...the op is no longer with his partner,who he decided to swing with after 3 months...Frocks are together though.
Do the math. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
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As for talking for 10years about bringing someone into our relationship, then wow i really fear for you both as trust is massive when swinging as im sure you realise allready!! again forgive me if wrong!!
!!
"
That is one hell of an assumption, and I am not sure how you got to it.
We talked about fantasies for a long while before we dived in and decided we want to cross the line to reality as I am sure lots of couples did. Swinging like anything in life isn't something you think of while making the dinner and try it an hour after. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
Brilliant, so many 5/6 off the site!! great percentage of those that are on here so ill take then that the other 99.9999 of people that are on her agree with me then. lmao"
what that says to me is that you asked for opinions...
you didn't like the ones you got...
you decided to basically put your fingers in your ear and shout "la la la" at the same time......
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