FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why we are here , and how we swing
Why we are here , and how we swing
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We seem to be pretty much on our own in the forums with our style of swinging . So why are we on fab at all ? Good question , and one we are finding it difficult to answer !
Anyway , after 6 years since our journey began , we have reached the conclusion that fab may not be the right place for us to be , so where do we go from here ?
We don't really want straight swap , contrived meets , parties , clubs , or simple fuck and go . What really works for us are the unexpected and spontaneous meets which often occur with no fab involvement at all . Like the eyes meeting across a bar , and taking it further . Or passing someone in the street , striking up a conversation and finding a quiet spot to act upon the carnal lust that evolves . The whole message , get to know someone first then meet for the inevitable has become dull and somewhat tedious .
There are a few folk we still happily meet for sheer filth and debauched fun . Pushing each other's boundaries and exploring all our inner kinks , but this aside we feel like lepers at times on here !
Are we the only ones who feel like this ?
Has our fab experience drawn to a close ?
How do other couples keep the swinging spark going after six years ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We simply don't plan, we just got a club and see what happens."
We did just that for three years , and yeah it often worked . But after a while it's the same faces , the expectation etc..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We seem to be pretty much on our own in the forums with our style of swinging . So why are we on fab at all ? Good question , and one we are finding it difficult to answer !
Anyway , after 6 years since our journey began , we have reached the conclusion that fab may not be the right place for us to be , so where do we go from here ?
We don't really want straight swap , contrived meets , parties , clubs , or simple fuck and go . What really works for us are the unexpected and spontaneous meets which often occur with no fab involvement at all . Like the eyes meeting across a bar , and taking it further . Or passing someone in the street , striking up a conversation and finding a quiet spot to act upon the carnal lust that evolves . The whole message , get to know someone first then meet for the inevitable has become dull and somewhat tedious .
There are a few folk we still happily meet for sheer filth and debauched fun . Pushing each other's boundaries and exploring all our inner kinks , but this aside we feel like lepers at times on here !
Are we the only ones who feel like this ?
Has our fab experience drawn to a close ?
How do other couples keep the swinging spark going after six years ?
"
Arnt there any gangbang sites you can join? Any hardcore sex sites?
FAB is probably too tame for you ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We seem to be pretty much on our own in the forums with our style of swinging . So why are we on fab at all ? Good question , and one we are finding it difficult to answer !
Anyway , after 6 years since our journey began , we have reached the conclusion that fab may not be the right place for us to be , so where do we go from here ?
We don't really want straight swap , contrived meets , parties , clubs , or simple fuck and go . What really works for us are the unexpected and spontaneous meets which often occur with no fab involvement at all . Like the eyes meeting across a bar , and taking it further . Or passing someone in the street , striking up a conversation and finding a quiet spot to act upon the carnal lust that evolves . The whole message , get to know someone first then meet for the inevitable has become dull and somewhat tedious .
There are a few folk we still happily meet for sheer filth and debauched fun . Pushing each other's boundaries and exploring all our inner kinks , but this aside we feel like lepers at times on here !
Are we the only ones who feel like this ?
Has our fab experience drawn to a close ?
How do other couples keep the swinging spark going after six years ?
Arnt there any gangbang sites you can join? Any hardcore sex sites?
FAB is probably too tame for you ?"
Gangbangs don't do anything for us at all , been there done that and not for us .
Hardcore sites ? Don't know any .
Fab too tame ? Sometimes it does seem to be yes  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I'll be honest OP, your style of swinging is not for me, likewise some of your pics.....BUT I have the utmost respect for both of you as you know what you want, obviously get it, and what's more have no problem expressing yourselves here, and usually do so with intelligence, experience and consideration for others.
As for whether you should stick with Fab or not, only you can decide that ultimately, but I for one think it will be an emptier place if you do decide to depart. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll be honest OP, your style of swinging is not for me, likewise some of your pics.....BUT I have the utmost respect for both of you as you know what you want, obviously get it, and what's more have no problem expressing yourselves here, and usually do so with intelligence, experience and consideration for others.
As for whether you should stick with Fab or not, only you can decide that ultimately, but I for one think it will be an emptier place if you do decide to depart."
Very well put |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're going to find this really bizarre OP, considering how much we differ, but we totally sympathise with your post. I sometimes wonder if we're too hardcore for this scene too just because we don't find meaningless sex meaningful. Add to that the fact that most couples appear petrified of letting go of each other's hands for a moment and seem to want to turn the whole exchange into something resembling a transaction at Argos... and yes... we totally get you.
But you know what. Neither of us are on here for the people we don't want to meet. We just have to learn to be patient and hope we happen across like minds at some point  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Anyway , after 6 years since our journey began , we have reached the conclusion that fab may not be the right place for us to be , so where do we go from here ?
"
Fuck sake.
Don't leave.
You guys are some of the less tedious posters on here who I don't see straight through. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're going to find this really bizarre OP, considering how much we differ, but we totally sympathise with your post. I sometimes wonder if we're too hardcore for this scene too just because we don't find meaningless sex meaningful. Add to that the fact that most couples appear petrified of letting go of each other's hands for a moment and seem to want to turn the whole exchange into something resembling a transaction at Argos... and yes... we totally get you.
But you know what. Neither of us are on here for the people we don't want to meet. We just have to learn to be patient and hope we happen across like minds at some point "
That was very well put |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You're going to find this really bizarre OP, considering how much we differ, but we totally sympathise with your post. I sometimes wonder if we're too hardcore for this scene too just because we don't find meaningless sex meaningful. Add to that the fact that most couples appear petrified of letting go of each other's hands for a moment and seem to want to turn the whole exchange into something resembling a transaction at Argos... and yes... we totally get you.
But you know what. Neither of us are on here for the people we don't want to meet. We just have to learn to be patient and hope we happen across like minds at some point "
Just read your profile guys , love it 
Gonna do some serious thinking about what we really want from this lifestyle |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Anyway , after 6 years since our journey began , we have reached the conclusion that fab may not be the right place for us to be , so where do we go from here ?
Fuck sake.
Don't leave.
You guys are some of the less tedious posters on here who I don't see straight through. "
Not gonna go anywhere , got our silver membership on PayPal so it runs till September |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'll be honest OP, your style of swinging is not for me, likewise some of your pics.....BUT I have the utmost respect for both of you as you know what you want, obviously get it, and what's more have no problem expressing yourselves here, and usually do so with intelligence, experience and consideration for others.
As for whether you should stick with Fab or not, only you can decide that ultimately, but I for one think it will be an emptier place if you do decide to depart."
Kind words , and we are going to look at what we desire and when we know what that is we will certainly bounce back |
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"You're going to find this really bizarre OP, considering how much we differ, but we totally sympathise with your post. I sometimes wonder if we're too hardcore for this scene too just because we don't find meaningless sex meaningful. Add to that the fact that most couples appear petrified of letting go of each other's hands for a moment and seem to want to turn the whole exchange into something resembling a transaction at Argos... and yes... we totally get you.
But you know what. Neither of us are on here for the people we don't want to meet. We just have to learn to be patient and hope we happen across like minds at some point
That was very well put "
I was going to say that.
There are plenty of 'like minded' folks on here and you never know what the next message might bring into your 'Fablife'.
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By *ussiesCouple
over a year ago
gwent |
Wow, we are feeling exactly the same, don't get me wrong, because without fab, we wouldn't be so happy in life, and we've met people off here that's showed us things we never knew existed. Ten years ago we would have run a mile if you'd mentioned being naked at a club haha, but these days we suffer from others kinky ideas, are plain normal to us.
Maybe we've peaked on here, but I really hope not, because there are so many genuine people here that makes life fun again.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree you do seem to have a different _iew and attitude to many on here. From one of your other posts I seem to recall that you regularly meet twice a week, many couples struggle to find the time to meet once a week.
Doing anything so routinely for 6 years is likely to make most people feel that their life has become a bit mundane and feel the need to shake it up a bit.
I have often enjoyed your posts, your openness and the fact that you just seem to have a zest in life for enjoying and experiencing as much as possible, you often have the most outrageous fantasies I've read about here but have the sincerity to actually act upon them.
I think what I'm trying to say is that most people will feel the same about their lives at some point but perhaps because you've pushed your limits and kinks quite hard and or quick that how you are feeling now seems more profound?
Ginger |
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"We seem to be pretty much on our own in the forums with our style of swinging . So why are we on fab at all ? Good question , and one we are finding it difficult to answer !
Anyway , after 6 years since our journey began , we have reached the conclusion that fab may not be the right place for us to be , so where do we go from here ?
We don't really want straight swap , contrived meets , parties , clubs , or simple fuck and go . What really works for us are the unexpected and spontaneous meets which often occur with no fab involvement at all . Like the eyes meeting across a bar , and taking it further . Or passing someone in the street , striking up a conversation and finding a quiet spot to act upon the carnal lust that evolves . The whole message , get to know someone first then meet for the inevitable has become dull and somewhat tedious .
There are a few folk we still happily meet for sheer filth and debauched fun . Pushing each other's boundaries and exploring all our inner kinks , but this aside we feel like lepers at times on here !
Are we the only ones who feel like this ?
Has our fab experience drawn to a close ?
How do other couples keep the swinging spark going after six years ?
"
We use this site to socialise only ands we have our fun elsewhere. We came together on it after both having been on the scene for a number of years and, as singles, we were finding it tedious and mundane. We haven't found any clubs that are to our liking either, except for to socialise. There isn't any play there that is tumour liking. As I said, we find our fun in more niche areas and often it is spontaneous. I see fab as the vanilla face of swinging more and more, so in this environment, this is how we act, but its not us in real life.
What you guys describe in terms of spontaneity is more like real life than fab meets. I think you could find what you are looking for just by being out and about??? Or do we live in a different type of place? |
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"
As for whether you should stick with Fab or not, only you can decide that ultimately, but I for one think it will be an emptier place if you do decide to depart."
I'm sure they will still upload pics of their horny fun and show Fab 'wannabes' how real Fabsters play. It's just a shame (as ever) you are so far from me |
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"
Anyway , after 6 years since our journey began , we have reached the conclusion that fab may not be the right place for us to be , so where do we go from here ?
Fuck sake.
Don't leave.
You guys are some of the less tedious posters on here who I don't see straight through. "
Exactly this |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
As it evolved to an adult focused social media site, my interest in meeting from here wained. I prefer club & sauna meets.
Although, I stay for the adult focused social media aspect  |
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By *odramafunCouple
over a year ago
Derbyshire/staffordshire |
I (male) couldnt agree with this post more.As soon as we start organising a meet then its almost as if a certain spark has been lost. Likewise when we went to a club it just felt that everyone was there to have sex so again it sort of took the spontanaity out of it. And it almost felt that there wasnt ENOUGH sex. Spontaneous dogging type meets are the big fantasy but always leave disappointed by the ever present fat old weirdos knocking about and never a brace of Tom Hardys! And then finally we always think that if we did have sex infront of other people like we do privately then we would simply terrify them!! And sorry to say that almost all single men have been massively disappointing and single women a myth! We live in hope x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We seem to be pretty much on our own in the forums with our style of swinging . So why are we on fab at all ? Good question , and one we are finding it difficult to answer !
Anyway , after 6 years since our journey began , we have reached the conclusion that fab may not be the right place for us to be , so where do we go from here ?
We don't really want straight swap , contrived meets , parties , clubs , or simple fuck and go . What really works for us are the unexpected and spontaneous meets which often occur with no fab involvement at all . Like the eyes meeting across a bar , and taking it further . Or passing someone in the street , striking up a conversation and finding a quiet spot to act upon the carnal lust that evolves . The whole message , get to know someone first then meet for the inevitable has become dull and somewhat tedious .
There are a few folk we still happily meet for sheer filth and debauched fun . Pushing each other's boundaries and exploring all our inner kinks , but this aside we feel like lepers at times on here !
Are we the only ones who feel like this ?
Has our fab experience drawn to a close ?
How do other couples keep the swinging spark going after six years ?
We use this site to socialise only ands we have our fun elsewhere. We came together on it after both having been on the scene for a number of years and, as singles, we were finding it tedious and mundane. We haven't found any clubs that are to our liking either, except for to socialise. There isn't any play there that is tumour liking. As I said, we find our fun in more niche areas and often it is spontaneous. I see fab as the vanilla face of swinging more and more, so in this environment, this is how we act, but its not us in real life.
What you guys describe in terms of spontaneity is more like real life than fab meets. I think you could find what you are looking for just by being out and about??? Or do we live in a different type of place? "
We have found the spontaneous fun while out and about , and it's been so exhilarating . The problem is that the people we find while out and about aren't swingers . While this is partly why it is such a buzz , we don't want to take the piss , or allow our secret life to become public . Hence it's a bit difficult to get it right .
And you're right about fab being very vanilla . The socialising is something we have had to endure more and more , so much so that we actually have almost enjoyed a few socials of late ! I bet you never thought you would hear us say that ! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I (male) couldnt agree with this post more.As soon as we start organising a meet then its almost as if a certain spark has been lost. Likewise when we went to a club it just felt that everyone was there to have sex so again it sort of took the spontanaity out of it. And it almost felt that there wasnt ENOUGH sex. Spontaneous dogging type meets are the big fantasy but always leave disappointed by the ever present fat old weirdos knocking about and never a brace of Tom Hardys! And then finally we always think that if we did have sex infront of other people like we do privately then we would simply terrify them!! And sorry to say that almost all single men have been massively disappointing and single women a myth! We live in hope x"
Good luck guys , the only thing I will say is this . Your quest for the single woman is your holy grail , and could well be equally as dissapointing . We have enjoyed th company of many single women , in all sorts of scenarios , and although we've had lots of fun it's been no more or less fun than anything else we've done . But it's good to have things you haven't done as a reason to keep going |
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"I (male) couldnt agree with this post more.As soon as we start organising a meet then its almost as if a certain spark has been lost. Likewise when we went to a club it just felt that everyone was there to have sex so again it sort of took the spontanaity out of it. And it almost felt that there wasnt ENOUGH sex. Spontaneous dogging type meets are the big fantasy but always leave disappointed by the ever present fat old weirdos knocking about and never a brace of Tom Hardys! And then finally we always think that if we did have sex infront of other people like we do privately then we would simply terrify them!! And sorry to say that almost all single men have been massively disappointing and single women a myth! We live in hope x"
You're not allowed to call them "fat old weirdos" on fab, BBW is the correct nomenclature. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I agree you do seem to have a different _iew and attitude to many on here. From one of your other posts I seem to recall that you regularly meet twice a week, many couples struggle to find the time to meet once a week.
Doing anything so routinely for 6 years is likely to make most people feel that their life has become a bit mundane and feel the need to shake it up a bit.
I have often enjoyed your posts, your openness and the fact that you just seem to have a zest in life for enjoying and experiencing as much as possible, you often have the most outrageous fantasies I've read about here but have the sincerity to actually act upon them.
I think what I'm trying to say is that most people will feel the same about their lives at some point but perhaps because you've pushed your limits and kinks quite hard and or quick that how you are feeling now seems more profound?
Ginger"
We have discussed exactly what you have said . The two or three times a week for six years is bound to take its toll , and perhaps it has for us . We do find that a meal , a drink and just being out together is often more rewarding than meeting others for sex .
And the fact that we have experienced as much in six years as most might in a lifetime could be why we feel as we do .
Reading these posts has given us food for thought , and we will certainly take it all on board . Once the warmer weather arrives I'm sure we will find our zest for fun will return |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I (male) couldnt agree with this post more.As soon as we start organising a meet then its almost as if a certain spark has been lost. Likewise when we went to a club it just felt that everyone was there to have sex so again it sort of took the spontanaity out of it. And it almost felt that there wasnt ENOUGH sex. Spontaneous dogging type meets are the big fantasy but always leave disappointed by the ever present fat old weirdos knocking about and never a brace of Tom Hardys! And then finally we always think that if we did have sex infront of other people like we do privately then we would simply terrify them!! And sorry to say that almost all single men have been massively disappointing and single women a myth! We live in hope x
You're not allowed to call them "fat old weirdos" on fab, BBW is the correct nomenclature. "
They are big , but they're far from beautiful , and unless the ' W ' now means weirdo and not women , I think this poster got it right  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Get the lodge open again and we'll come and say Hi!"
We would simply love to see that happen ... we had our joint hen and stag night at the Lodge .
Such happy memories |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A thread on here recently asked what you were into then gave a list. We've realised, however, that it's not what you do but how you do it that makes or breaks swinging. So we'd agree with glos about the FFM. You can make even a threesome unsexy and disappointing if you bungle it.
Unfortunately, to try and engineer things so they aren't a "go with the flow" disaster and are, instead, actually erotic, involves a degree of negotiating with those who contact us about what works and what doesn't. We often find, in the process of doing this that we turn people off or scare them away.
The trouble is that "adult social media" doesn't really blend with swinging as it leads many to believe they're looking for nice normal people they like to come and fulfil their fantasies with them. But since when we're any of our fantasies filled with nice normal people? I'm reading "Dare" by Tracy cox and in it one woman writes about the amazing fantasy she had of a threesome and the wet sandwich threesome she actually ended up having that put her off ever doing it again. In summary she wrote that she'd made her biggest mistake in her selection process of finding the woman. She wrote...
"My mistake was trying to find someone I liked rather than someone I lusted after. The more overtly sexual girls who replied, the really brazen 'out there' ones I'd sniffed at and called 'slutty' were exactly what I should have gone for"
If that doesn't sum up the error most Fab users make I'll eat my tasmanian sex glove |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A thread on here recently asked what you were into then gave a list. We've realised, however, that it's not what you do but how you do it that makes or breaks swinging. So we'd agree with glos about the FFM. You can make even a threesome unsexy and disappointing if you bungle it.
Unfortunately, to try and engineer things so they aren't a "go with the flow" disaster and are, instead, actually erotic, involves a degree of negotiating with those who contact us about what works and what doesn't. We often find, in the process of doing this that we turn people off or scare them away.
The trouble is that "adult social media" doesn't really blend with swinging as it leads many to believe they're looking for nice normal people they like to come and fulfil their fantasies with them. But since when we're any of our fantasies filled with nice normal people? I'm reading "Dare" by Tracy cox and in it one woman writes about the amazing fantasy she had of a threesome and the wet sandwich threesome she actually ended up having that put her off ever doing it again. In summary she wrote that she'd made her biggest mistake in her selection process of finding the woman. She wrote...
"My mistake was trying to find someone I liked rather than someone I lusted after. The more overtly sexual girls who replied, the really brazen 'out there' ones I'd sniffed at and called 'slutty' were exactly what I should have gone for"
If that doesn't sum up the error most Fab users make I'll eat my tasmanian sex glove "
I understand what you are saying.
But I think I understand why most people would be apprehensive about the brazen overtly sexual people as it would maybe be too much for them and prefer a situation they would feel more comfortable in.
Thats the thing about "fantasy" and actually putting it into practice for most people is a different thing entirely. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A thread on here recently asked what you were into then gave a list. We've realised, however, that it's not what you do but how you do it that makes or breaks swinging. So we'd agree with glos about the FFM. You can make even a threesome unsexy and disappointing if you bungle it.
Unfortunately, to try and engineer things so they aren't a "go with the flow" disaster and are, instead, actually erotic, involves a degree of negotiating with those who contact us about what works and what doesn't. We often find, in the process of doing this that we turn people off or scare them away.
The trouble is that "adult social media" doesn't really blend with swinging as it leads many to believe they're looking for nice normal people they like to come and fulfil their fantasies with them. But since when we're any of our fantasies filled with nice normal people? I'm reading "Dare" by Tracy cox and in it one woman writes about the amazing fantasy she had of a threesome and the wet sandwich threesome she actually ended up having that put her off ever doing it again. In summary she wrote that she'd made her biggest mistake in her selection process of finding the woman. She wrote...
"My mistake was trying to find someone I liked rather than someone I lusted after. The more overtly sexual girls who replied, the really brazen 'out there' ones I'd sniffed at and called 'slutty' were exactly what I should have gone for"
If that doesn't sum up the error most Fab users make I'll eat my tasmanian sex glove "
Absolutely spot on and so many users would be wise to take heed of this post .
Swinging means different things to everybody , but at the end of the day it boils down to this . It's about the experience , the exhilarating passion , the adrenaline , the sheer pleasure of having lust pumping through your veins and your post sums up why this may not happen .
No one is more slutty than us .... we epitomise this and no doubt scare many off . But in reality you don't know what you're missing ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A thread on here recently asked what you were into then gave a list. We've realised, however, that it's not what you do but how you do it that makes or breaks swinging. So we'd agree with glos about the FFM. You can make even a threesome unsexy and disappointing if you bungle it.
Unfortunately, to try and engineer things so they aren't a "go with the flow" disaster and are, instead, actually erotic, involves a degree of negotiating with those who contact us about what works and what doesn't. We often find, in the process of doing this that we turn people off or scare them away.
The trouble is that "adult social media" doesn't really blend with swinging as it leads many to believe they're looking for nice normal people they like to come and fulfil their fantasies with them. But since when we're any of our fantasies filled with nice normal people? I'm reading "Dare" by Tracy cox and in it one woman writes about the amazing fantasy she had of a threesome and the wet sandwich threesome she actually ended up having that put her off ever doing it again. In summary she wrote that she'd made her biggest mistake in her selection process of finding the woman. She wrote...
"My mistake was trying to find someone I liked rather than someone I lusted after. The more overtly sexual girls who replied, the really brazen 'out there' ones I'd sniffed at and called 'slutty' were exactly what I should have gone for"
If that doesn't sum up the error most Fab users make I'll eat my tasmanian sex glove "
One of the best posts I've read. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We believe that many have a 'mechanical' approach to this scene. It's easy to fall into the same pattern when meeting people for sex and if not careful then it's almost always the same scenarios but with different participants.
Impulsiveness and imagination are very important but at times so is detailed planning and negotiation.
If variety is your spice, then you need to guard against falling into the mechanical. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I agree you do seem to have a different _iew and attitude to many on here. From one of your other posts I seem to recall that you regularly meet twice a week, many couples struggle to find the time to meet once a week.
Doing anything so routinely for 6 years is likely to make most people feel that their life has become a bit mundane and feel the need to shake it up a bit.
I have often enjoyed your posts, your openness and the fact that you just seem to have a zest in life for enjoying and experiencing as much as possible, you often have the most outrageous fantasies I've read about here but have the sincerity to actually act upon them.
I think what I'm trying to say is that most people will feel the same about their lives at some point but perhaps because you've pushed your limits and kinks quite hard and or quick that how you are feeling now seems more profound?
Ginger
We have discussed exactly what you have said . The two or three times a week for six years is bound to take its toll , and perhaps it has for us . We do find that a meal , a drink and just being out together is often more rewarding than meeting others for sex .
And the fact that we have experienced as much in six years as most might in a lifetime could be why we feel as we do .
Reading these posts has given us food for thought , and we will certainly take it all on board . Once the warmer weather arrives I'm sure we will find our zest for fun will return "
I was going to say along the same lines. Maybe you've just burnt yourselves out by having too much of a 'good thing' over the years, there's nothing left to give you a sexual hit.
Like you've always maintained though you've got each other so as long as that continues to be good I can't really see there's anything to be concerned about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A thread on here recently asked what you were into then gave a list. We've realised, however, that it's not what you do but how you do it that makes or breaks swinging. So we'd agree with glos about the FFM. You can make even a threesome unsexy and disappointing if you bungle it.
Unfortunately, to try and engineer things so they aren't a "go with the flow" disaster and are, instead, actually erotic, involves a degree of negotiating with those who contact us about what works and what doesn't. We often find, in the process of doing this that we turn people off or scare them away.
The trouble is that "adult social media" doesn't really blend with swinging as it leads many to believe they're looking for nice normal people they like to come and fulfil their fantasies with them. But since when we're any of our fantasies filled with nice normal people? I'm reading "Dare" by Tracy cox and in it one woman writes about the amazing fantasy she had of a threesome and the wet sandwich threesome she actually ended up having that put her off ever doing it again. In summary she wrote that she'd made her biggest mistake in her selection process of finding the woman. She wrote...
"My mistake was trying to find someone I liked rather than someone I lusted after. The more overtly sexual girls who replied, the really brazen 'out there' ones I'd sniffed at and called 'slutty' were exactly what I should have gone for"
If that doesn't sum up the error most Fab users make I'll eat my tasmanian sex glove
I understand what you are saying.
But I think I understand why most people would be apprehensive about the brazen overtly sexual people as it would maybe be too much for them and prefer a situation they would feel more comfortable in.
Thats the thing about "fantasy" and actually putting it into practice for most people is a different thing entirely."
True.
However I do meet men I like & lust over |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We seem to be pretty much on our own in the forums with our style of swinging . So why are we on fab at all ? Good question , and one we are finding it difficult to answer !
Anyway , after 6 years since our journey began , we have reached the conclusion that fab may not be the right place for us to be , so where do we go from here ?
We don't really want straight swap , contrived meets , parties , clubs , or simple fuck and go . What really works for us are the unexpected and spontaneous meets which often occur with no fab involvement at all . Like the eyes meeting across a bar , and taking it further . Or passing someone in the street , striking up a conversation and finding a quiet spot to act upon the carnal lust that evolves . The whole message , get to know someone first then meet for the inevitable has become dull and somewhat tedious .
There are a few folk we still happily meet for sheer filth and debauched fun . Pushing each other's boundaries and exploring all our inner kinks , but this aside we feel like lepers at times on here !
Are we the only ones who feel like this ?
Has our fab experience drawn to a close ?
How do other couples keep the swinging spark going after six years ?
We use this site to socialise only ands we have our fun elsewhere. We came together on it after both having been on the scene for a number of years and, as singles, we were finding it tedious and mundane. We haven't found any clubs that are to our liking either, except for to socialise. There isn't any play there that is tumour liking. As I said, we find our fun in more niche areas and often it is spontaneous. I see fab as the vanilla face of swinging more and more, so in this environment, this is how we act, but its not us in real life.
What you guys describe in terms of spontaneity is more like real life than fab meets. I think you could find what you are looking for just by being out and about??? Or do we live in a different type of place?
We have found the spontaneous fun while out and about , and it's been so exhilarating . The problem is that the people we find while out and about aren't swingers . While this is partly why it is such a buzz , we don't want to take the piss , or allow our secret life to become public . Hence it's a bit difficult to get it right .
And you're right about fab being very vanilla . The socialising is something we have had to endure more and more , so much so that we actually have almost enjoyed a few socials of late ! I bet you never thought you would hear us say that ! "
Hope you don't take this the wrong way but I'm really surprised you still manage to keep all this a secret.
Things change. It's good you're changing too. Socials *can* be fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I (male) couldnt agree with this post more.As soon as we start organising a meet then its almost as if a certain spark has been lost. Likewise when we went to a club it just felt that everyone was there to have sex so again it sort of took the spontanaity out of it. And it almost felt that there wasnt ENOUGH sex. Spontaneous dogging type meets are the big fantasy but always leave disappointed by the ever present fat old weirdos knocking about and never a brace of Tom Hardys! And then finally we always think that if we did have sex infront of other people like we do privately then we would simply terrify them!! And sorry to say that almost all single men have been massively disappointing and single women a myth! We live in hope x
You're not allowed to call them "fat old weirdos" on fab, BBW is the correct nomenclature. "
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I love your openness and sheer don't give a flying fuck attitude OP. It's incredibly refreshing that folk are so positive and open about their sex lives.
Maybe you've done everything and are feeling a tad jaded? I gave up BDSM for a while after feeling a bit bored of it all. Took a much needed break and when I returned, found a new exciting zest for it. The buzz doesn't last forever, maybe you should try something else for a bit? |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"We seem to be pretty much on our own in the forums with our style of swinging . So why are we on fab at all ? Good question , and one we are finding it difficult to answer !
Anyway , after 6 years since our journey began , we have reached the conclusion that fab may not be the right place for us to be , so where do we go from here ?
We don't really want straight swap , contrived meets , parties , clubs , or simple fuck and go . What really works for us are the unexpected and spontaneous meets which often occur with no fab involvement at all . Like the eyes meeting across a bar , and taking it further . Or passing someone in the street , striking up a conversation and finding a quiet spot to act upon the carnal lust that evolves . The whole message , get to know someone first then meet for the inevitable has become dull and somewhat tedious .
There are a few folk we still happily meet for sheer filth and debauched fun . Pushing each other's boundaries and exploring all our inner kinks , but this aside we feel like lepers at times on here !
Are we the only ones who feel like this ?
Has our fab experience drawn to a close ?
How do other couples keep the swinging spark going after six years ?
"
i love your outlook and presence here i hope you dont leave.
i feel i have a leg in both scenes of BDSM and swinging, not wanting to jump from one to the other, wanting the best from both worlds, for me.
ones too traditional and the other isnt committed enough in general, to get what i want to experience from it....it doesnt help that fab doesnt recognise us 'in the middle types' so you cant even talk about it in order to find like mindedness and compatibility..without someone who doesnt know/ understand/ respect BDSM jumping in 'cos its a public forum'..i find it frustrating and feel like leaving sometimes x
not the same, just pointing out other people feel the same for different reasons x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I love your openness and sheer don't give a flying fuck attitude OP. It's incredibly refreshing that folk are so positive and open about their sex lives.
Maybe you've done everything and are feeling a tad jaded? I gave up BDSM for a while after feeling a bit bored of it all. Took a much needed break and when I returned, found a new exciting zest for it. The buzz doesn't last forever, maybe you should try something else for a bit? "
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"We would only ever meet those we like and lust over "
I think that this might be my problem. I'm only meeting the guys I think I can get. Maybe I should try and meet guys I've considered as being out of my league. They can only say no.
having said that, I doubt I would ever leave this site willingly, as I enjoy the social aspect, probably a lot more than the OP do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The OP's are the most sane, intelligent people we've come across on the forums and even if we differ on opinion (which is very rare) we always respect there insight & opinion.....
So OP in this subject we see your point of _iew, this sight maybe not right for you, many people's ideas of swinging on fab are rather more in line with dating/flirting for several weeks via here/text etc followed by a social and then if you pass that hurdle a rather vanilla swap, a total waste of time and energy, cold, calculated and frankly boring
We'd rather a quick chat and then a meet in the not too distant future with some naughty fun, if it all goes well then build from there.
You've done the club thing and like us got frankly bored with it, the clique, the posers, the non swingers, wasting time chatting to people who come up with a load of silly rules or other such nonsense or perversely the people who blank you all night, then suddenly want to be your best friends when they see you engaging in filthy, naughty play!
Short answer.....stay for the forums at least, we would miss you terribly xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We would only ever meet those we like and lust over
I think that this might be my problem. I'm only meeting the guys I think I can get. Maybe I should try and meet guys I've considered as being out of my league. They can only say no.
having said that, I doubt I would ever leave this site willingly, as I enjoy the social aspect, probably a lot more than the OP do."
Yes you should as you are one of the nicest most well rounded and well adjusted women in here and deserve people at least on par with yourself |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just reading this post after other half commented earlier... Interesting.... May I ask what 'the lodge' was? X "
The Lodge was a swingers club in Gloucester |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
"Just reading this post after other half commented earlier... Interesting.... May I ask what 'the lodge' was? X
The Lodge was a swingers club in Gloucester "
The first club I ever went to alone
Hi you two.... the party I met you guys at was up there with some of the most fun and filthy nights I have had. You bring something alternative, freaky and refreshing to this and I had long admired your attitude even before we met.
I often feel "stifled" and hide away a bit. But every so often I find people and events that make me love this all over again.
If you go..... I do hope you hurry back.
V xxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Glos I would say, with all this appreciation, you must have a big swollen head blushing between you but I think you'd probably misread that as a suggestion of something else to do |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Glos I would say, with all this appreciation, you must have a big swollen head blushing between you but I think you'd probably misread that as a suggestion of something else to do "
We are what we are , and for that we make no apologies . We certainly don't get big headed about anything , as each and every one on here does their thing , their way , and it's what works for them .
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just reading this post after other half commented earlier... Interesting.... May I ask what 'the lodge' was? X
The Lodge was a swingers club in Gloucester
The first club I ever went to alone
Hi you two.... the party I met you guys at was up there with some of the most fun and filthy nights I have had. You bring something alternative, freaky and refreshing to this and I had long admired your attitude even before we met.
I often feel "stifled" and hide away a bit. But every so often I find people and events that make me love this all over again.
If you go..... I do hope you hurry back.
V xxxxx "
We remember that night fondly , such happy memories
So good to meet like minded people and feel liberated enough to enjoy swinging for what it can be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No doubt today several hundred people joined the site, a mix of fakes, fantasists, oversexed single guys looking to stick their end somewhere, and waitrose couples who like their swinging to be clean and nicely wrapped in cellophane. But we lost one couple who were mad deviant genuinely fun and thoughtful dirty perverts.
It wasn't a good trade  |
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"No doubt today several hundred people joined the site, a mix of fakes, fantasists, oversexed single guys looking to stick their end somewhere, and waitrose couples who like their swinging to be clean and nicely wrapped in cellophane. But we lost one couple who were mad deviant genuinely fun and thoughtful dirty perverts.
It wasn't a good trade "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No doubt today several hundred people joined the site, a mix of fakes, fantasists, oversexed single guys looking to stick their end somewhere, and waitrose couples who like their swinging to be clean and nicely wrapped in cellophane. But we lost one couple who were mad deviant genuinely fun and thoughtful dirty perverts.
It wasn't a good trade "
Hey... That was really well written and made me chuckle too.
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"No doubt today several hundred people joined the site, a mix of fakes, fantasists, oversexed single guys looking to stick their end somewhere, and waitrose couples who like their swinging to be clean and nicely wrapped in cellophane. But we lost one couple who were mad deviant genuinely fun and thoughtful dirty perverts.
It wasn't a good trade "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They left because of the high and mighty, self righteous, judgmental fucking morons that exist here now.
"
They have always existed though. ...at least in the 6 years I've been here.
They had their reasons and I can't believe it would have been because of the forum. They never came across as the victim type. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They left because of the high and mighty, self righteous, judgmental fucking morons that exist here now.
They have always existed though. ...at least in the 6 years I've been here.
"
It's a LOT worse since I've been back, some of the threads I've seen are brutal.
I try to stick up for some in them, but fucking hell, it's a LOT worse since I've been back on here for sure.
100% |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a massive surprise, they've been muting this since last year on threads.
I think they secretly want to try out a social.. "
They said they did a social. 
They'll be back |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"They left because of the high and mighty, self righteous, judgmental fucking morons that exist here now.
They have always existed though. ...at least in the 6 years I've been here.
It's a LOT worse since I've been back, some of the threads I've seen are brutal.
I try to stick up for some in them, but fucking hell, it's a LOT worse since I've been back on here for sure.
100%"
i lurk these days and pop in because of it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a massive surprise, they've been muting this since last year on threads.
I think they secretly want to try out a social..
They said they did a social.
They'll be back "
They had a social with you Carrott didn't they ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a massive surprise, they've been muting this since last year on threads.
I think they secretly want to try out a social..
They said they did a social.
They'll be back
They had a social with you Carrott didn't they ? "
As if.. give them some credit...!  |
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"At this very moment in time I haven't a clue why I'm here,I don't even want emotionless sex right now  "
We were both at that point when we met on here, going on three years ago. At our first fab meet we got on to sharing experiences and talking about it ... we ended up in the pub chatting. That led to a couple of dates .. which led to us living together. Nothing emotionless here, and fab is to thank for that. I do feel we have outgrown it though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They left because of the high and mighty, self righteous, judgmental fucking morons that exist here now.
They were sound imo. "
No way I don't see that for one moment.
They held their own in the forums & they judged others just as much as they were 'judged'... |
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"At this very moment in time I haven't a clue why I'm here,I don't even want emotionless sex right now
We were both at that point when we met on here, going on three years ago. At our first fab meet we got on to sharing experiences and talking about it ... we ended up in the pub chatting. That led to a couple of dates .. which led to us living together. Nothing emotionless here, and fab is to thank for that. I do feel we have outgrown it though "
You're very lucky,I'd love to find the same with someone. |
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"At this very moment in time I haven't a clue why I'm here,I don't even want emotionless sex right now
We were both at that point when we met on here, going on three years ago. At our first fab meet we got on to sharing experiences and talking about it ... we ended up in the pub chatting. That led to a couple of dates .. which led to us living together. Nothing emotionless here, and fab is to thank for that. I do feel we have outgrown it though
You're very lucky,I'd love to find the same with someone. "
It comes when you aren't looking |
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