FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > bdsm in swinging
bdsm in swinging
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"We have experienced very good and very dismissive responses to our play in clubs. The best and first was at the Attic in Derby, when blindfolded and Sir was flogging me, we attracted around 15-20 people. Several of whom were wanking / frigging themselves "Indeed I believe some clubs have good facilities for bdsm play, kestrels I have heard is one of those too, shame about the dismissive but everyone experiences that at times. Oh my I bet that was a sight to behold indeed   | |||
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"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure." That's also a shame I think, there are plenty of sensual play only Dom figures, the scene isn't all about psychology and the mind is just as equally important in physical sensual play too. There doesn't really need to be a divide but I guess as is the way with humans it is there regardless | |||
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"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure. That's also a shame I think, there are plenty of sensual play only Dom figures, the scene isn't all about psychology and the mind is just as equally important in physical sensual play too. There doesn't really need to be a divide but I guess as is the way with humans it is there regardless" i only mention fab because they bring up swinging in the first place, don't know why they do that if they're against it. i like the head games myself but do enjoy the physical more. went to cupids recently and would love to have a partner to take to the 'dungeon' there. even better -have someone to lock away in the cuck cage, haha. | |||
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"It is probably best to keep any impact play to a dungeon area, but it is safe to assume that any club with such facilities is ok with BDSM. There is a lot of cross over in the non-monogamy world. A lot of swingers are a bit kinky, and a lot of kinksters also swing. " My thoughts too  | |||
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But yeah... All hail the karnal fun!
Flames | |||
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"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure. That's also a shame I think, there are plenty of sensual play only Dom figures, the scene isn't all about psychology and the mind is just as equally important in physical sensual play too. There doesn't really need to be a divide but I guess as is the way with humans it is there regardless i only mention fab because they bring up swinging in the first place, don't know why they do that if they're against it. i like the head games myself but do enjoy the physical more. went to cupids recently and would love to have a partner to take to the 'dungeon' there. even better -have someone to lock away in the cuck cage, haha. " Ah I see bet that's an awkward moment for you and probably don't look forward to that being mentioned there. 
Some use both the psychology and pain aspect together, I have not been there yet is it good then? Hehe I bet you do too  its probably the right thread to potentially get that too both Dom and cuck | |||
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"The Venn diagrams of "fun" ... We're played in the dungeon at Cupids with floggers and had people get in the way and moan when they got whacked (duh!)... We've had fun at Pennant Hall and everyone was respectful and enjoying the show (even though it's way too dark IMHO!) And then we've been to Play Club at Amours and turned a kink event in to a bit of a swinging event playing with people we met there... So there is a good cross over - but I would definitely say it can get polarised. I would say that 50 Shades has had its positive effect for enlightening people. Throw in the fact that I am Bi, and you really end up with a polarised people who are either dead against swinging / kink / Bi play... ...or people who are all in and want kinky swinging Bi fun... And to be honest, the more of the latter is what we want
But yeah... All hail the karnal fun!
Flames" yep that's likely to happen when getting between flogger and intended target 
Yes 50 shades has had somewhat of a positive impact on vanilla people understanding better but is also not specifically indicative of the bdsm scene too and has upset some people in it, go figure can't always please everyone.
It's a shame as I feel prejudice has no place really in swinging or bdsm, not being bi myself wouldn't prevent me from playing alongside a bi male.
Hell yes viva coitus and all the kinks surrounding it  | |||
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"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure. That's also a shame I think, there are plenty of sensual play only Dom figures, the scene isn't all about psychology and the mind is just as equally important in physical sensual play too. There doesn't really need to be a divide but I guess as is the way with humans it is there regardless i only mention fab because they bring up swinging in the first place, don't know why they do that if they're against it. i like the head games myself but do enjoy the physical more. went to cupids recently and would love to have a partner to take to the 'dungeon' there. even better -have someone to lock away in the cuck cage, haha. Ah I see bet that's an awkward moment for you and probably don't look forward to that being mentioned there.
Some use both the psychology and pain aspect together, I have not been there yet is it good then? Hehe I bet you do too its probably the right thread to potentially get that too both Dom and cuck "not really awkward for me, i think it's rude to bring something up just to slag it off. i'm not even a swinger (just use this site for sex, and more recently socialising) but i still mention fab...makes them feel awkward maybe? but like i said i enjoy head games. cupids seems alright, i've not used the facilities but very much looking forward to going again, especially if i get a chance to try stuff out there. there isn't much room like the above said but it hasn't put me off. this site isn't the right place for me to find what i want if i'm honest. it's very much an NSA site for me still, i find most men here talk the talk but are not consistent and so don't gain my trust with that. | |||
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"I hace enjoyed watching bdsm at the gatehouse in the dungeon there x even.participating few times x everyone there knows there limits x im a novice and like the gentler side x although enjoying spanking abusing and dom a woman in the dungeon I would never behave like this outside the dungeon x x Lesson being Right place Right time x x " Is it something you only do at clubs then? Or do you engage in bdsm activities on meets too? Its great getting differing stances on bdsm and it's relevance in how involved people want to be | |||
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"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure. That's also a shame I think, there are plenty of sensual play only Dom figures, the scene isn't all about psychology and the mind is just as equally important in physical sensual play too. There doesn't really need to be a divide but I guess as is the way with humans it is there regardless i only mention fab because they bring up swinging in the first place, don't know why they do that if they're against it. i like the head games myself but do enjoy the physical more. went to cupids recently and would love to have a partner to take to the 'dungeon' there. even better -have someone to lock away in the cuck cage, haha. Ah I see bet that's an awkward moment for you and probably don't look forward to that being mentioned there.
Some use both the psychology and pain aspect together, I have not been there yet is it good then? Hehe I bet you do too its probably the right thread to potentially get that too both Dom and cuck
not really awkward for me, i think it's rude to bring something up just to slag it off. i'm not even a swinger (just use this site for sex, and more recently socialising) but i still mention fab...makes them feel awkward maybe? but like i said i enjoy head games.
cupids seems alright, i've not used the facilities but very much looking forward to going again, especially if i get a chance to try stuff out there. there isn't much room like the above said but it hasn't put me off.
this site isn't the right place for me to find what i want if i'm honest. it's very much an NSA site for me still, i find most men here talk the talk but are not consistent and so don't gain my trust with that."Yes it does seem an unnecessary thing to do and can understand your seeing it as rude too. Ok thanks for your review on cupids it's always good hearing from real people about there visits. That's a shame you have been left feeling that way from your fab experience, not everyone is the way you described | |||
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"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure. That's also a shame I think, there are plenty of sensual play only Dom figures, the scene isn't all about psychology and the mind is just as equally important in physical sensual play too. There doesn't really need to be a divide but I guess as is the way with humans it is there regardless i only mention fab because they bring up swinging in the first place, don't know why they do that if they're against it. i like the head games myself but do enjoy the physical more. went to cupids recently and would love to have a partner to take to the 'dungeon' there. even better -have someone to lock away in the cuck cage, haha. Ah I see bet that's an awkward moment for you and probably don't look forward to that being mentioned there.
Some use both the psychology and pain aspect together, I have not been there yet is it good then? Hehe I bet you do too its probably the right thread to potentially get that too both Dom and cuck
not really awkward for me, i think it's rude to bring something up just to slag it off. i'm not even a swinger (just use this site for sex, and more recently socialising) but i still mention fab...makes them feel awkward maybe? but like i said i enjoy head games.
cupids seems alright, i've not used the facilities but very much looking forward to going again, especially if i get a chance to try stuff out there. there isn't much room like the above said but it hasn't put me off.
this site isn't the right place for me to find what i want if i'm honest. it's very much an NSA site for me still, i find most men here talk the talk but are not consistent and so don't gain my trust with that.
Yes it does seem an unnecessary thing to do and can understand your seeing it as rude too.
Ok thanks for your review on cupids it's always good hearing from real people about there visits.
That's a shame you have been left feeling that way from your fab experience, not everyone is the way you described "you're welcome. it's ok, there are a few good guys about restoring my faith in men. i've only had mild BDSM play from here and ok with that too, they were still fun. i've become super picky now so only meet sub men for play meets and not sex, and meet men who treat me as an equal or friends, this is helping me build up trust. anyone who talks the talk i don't bother with any more. | |||
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"A makes fetish kit, and from.talking to people at socials and at our local club a hell of a lot of swingers are intrigued by it to say the least, or possibly just watching a a sub-dom/switch scenario. Our problem lies with d*unken buffoons interrupting our play at clubs when uninvited. We leave access open to any dungeon room we play in as not to take over a large space for a small scene. Always on the look out for kinky couples! "Yes I get the feeling plenty of swingers are intrigued too they just don't seem to understand some of the play methods involved in scenes. Oh no nightmare uninvited parties trying to get in on the action
Well I shall check out your profile then | |||
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"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure. That's also a shame I think, there are plenty of sensual play only Dom figures, the scene isn't all about psychology and the mind is just as equally important in physical sensual play too. There doesn't really need to be a divide but I guess as is the way with humans it is there regardless i only mention fab because they bring up swinging in the first place, don't know why they do that if they're against it. i like the head games myself but do enjoy the physical more. went to cupids recently and would love to have a partner to take to the 'dungeon' there. even better -have someone to lock away in the cuck cage, haha. Ah I see bet that's an awkward moment for you and probably don't look forward to that being mentioned there.
Some use both the psychology and pain aspect together, I have not been there yet is it good then? Hehe I bet you do too its probably the right thread to potentially get that too both Dom and cuck
not really awkward for me, i think it's rude to bring something up just to slag it off. i'm not even a swinger (just use this site for sex, and more recently socialising) but i still mention fab...makes them feel awkward maybe? but like i said i enjoy head games.
cupids seems alright, i've not used the facilities but very much looking forward to going again, especially if i get a chance to try stuff out there. there isn't much room like the above said but it hasn't put me off.
this site isn't the right place for me to find what i want if i'm honest. it's very much an NSA site for me still, i find most men here talk the talk but are not consistent and so don't gain my trust with that.
Yes it does seem an unnecessary thing to do and can understand your seeing it as rude too.
Ok thanks for your review on cupids it's always good hearing from real people about there visits.
That's a shame you have been left feeling that way from your fab experience, not everyone is the way you described
you're welcome.
it's ok, there are a few good guys about restoring my faith in men. i've only had mild BDSM play from here and ok with that too, they were still fun.
i've become super picky now so only meet sub men for play meets and not sex, and meet men who treat me as an equal or friends, this is helping me build up trust. anyone who talks the talk i don't bother with any more."That is good news then your faith in us fan men isn't totally destroyed
Always best to go at your pace and on your terms | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure. That's also a shame I think, there are plenty of sensual play only Dom figures, the scene isn't all about psychology and the mind is just as equally important in physical sensual play too. There doesn't really need to be a divide but I guess as is the way with humans it is there regardless i only mention fab because they bring up swinging in the first place, don't know why they do that if they're against it. i like the head games myself but do enjoy the physical more. went to cupids recently and would love to have a partner to take to the 'dungeon' there. even better -have someone to lock away in the cuck cage, haha. Ah I see bet that's an awkward moment for you and probably don't look forward to that being mentioned there.
Some use both the psychology and pain aspect together, I have not been there yet is it good then? Hehe I bet you do too its probably the right thread to potentially get that too both Dom and cuck
not really awkward for me, i think it's rude to bring something up just to slag it off. i'm not even a swinger (just use this site for sex, and more recently socialising) but i still mention fab...makes them feel awkward maybe? but like i said i enjoy head games.
cupids seems alright, i've not used the facilities but very much looking forward to going again, especially if i get a chance to try stuff out there. there isn't much room like the above said but it hasn't put me off.
this site isn't the right place for me to find what i want if i'm honest. it's very much an NSA site for me still, i find most men here talk the talk but are not consistent and so don't gain my trust with that.
Yes it does seem an unnecessary thing to do and can understand your seeing it as rude too.
Ok thanks for your review on cupids it's always good hearing from real people about there visits.
That's a shame you have been left feeling that way from your fab experience, not everyone is the way you described
you're welcome.
it's ok, there are a few good guys about restoring my faith in men. i've only had mild BDSM play from here and ok with that too, they were still fun.
i've become super picky now so only meet sub men for play meets and not sex, and meet men who treat me as an equal or friends, this is helping me build up trust. anyone who talks the talk i don't bother with any more.
That is good news then your faith in us fan men isn't totally destroyed
Always best to go at your pace and on your terms "i'm sure someone will come along and destroy it again, they always do. although i'm not losing it for as long each time. losing faith is kind of ok too. it just makes me more sadistic. | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure. That's also a shame I think, there are plenty of sensual play only Dom figures, the scene isn't all about psychology and the mind is just as equally important in physical sensual play too. There doesn't really need to be a divide but I guess as is the way with humans it is there regardless i only mention fab because they bring up swinging in the first place, don't know why they do that if they're against it. i like the head games myself but do enjoy the physical more. went to cupids recently and would love to have a partner to take to the 'dungeon' there. even better -have someone to lock away in the cuck cage, haha. Ah I see bet that's an awkward moment for you and probably don't look forward to that being mentioned there.
Some use both the psychology and pain aspect together, I have not been there yet is it good then? Hehe I bet you do too its probably the right thread to potentially get that too both Dom and cuck
not really awkward for me, i think it's rude to bring something up just to slag it off. i'm not even a swinger (just use this site for sex, and more recently socialising) but i still mention fab...makes them feel awkward maybe? but like i said i enjoy head games.
cupids seems alright, i've not used the facilities but very much looking forward to going again, especially if i get a chance to try stuff out there. there isn't much room like the above said but it hasn't put me off.
this site isn't the right place for me to find what i want if i'm honest. it's very much an NSA site for me still, i find most men here talk the talk but are not consistent and so don't gain my trust with that.
Yes it does seem an unnecessary thing to do and can understand your seeing it as rude too.
Ok thanks for your review on cupids it's always good hearing from real people about there visits.
That's a shame you have been left feeling that way from your fab experience, not everyone is the way you described
you're welcome.
it's ok, there are a few good guys about restoring my faith in men. i've only had mild BDSM play from here and ok with that too, they were still fun.
i've become super picky now so only meet sub men for play meets and not sex, and meet men who treat me as an equal or friends, this is helping me build up trust. anyone who talks the talk i don't bother with any more.
That is good news then your faith in us fan men isn't totally destroyed
Always best to go at your pace and on your terms
i'm sure someone will come along and destroy it again, they always do. although i'm not losing it for as long each time.
losing faith is kind of ok too. it just makes me more sadistic. "Potentially but eventually you will find the right one and then well
The sky's the limits! | |||
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"There's a crossover but yes some in the BDSM community frown on swingers . BDSM is very broad ... even in the fetish clubs you can shock people. ( I can remember seeing a couple with their jaws dropped open watching me play with a guy who wanted to be made to cry. It had all been discussed and he was a seasoned player...a joy to play with in fact..but they did look horrified ) I've spent time in swingers clubs just showing my kit and showing guys a few things...but equally some might snub you. I rarely play that way now. Bits of BDSM sensation play are often part of vanilla play anyway " I get that theres always extremes of everything that will shock some, poor spectators just didn't obviously understand. Yes I agree vanilla play is becoming less vanilla for many yet still being referred to as vanilla strangely where is the dividing line!  | |||
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"I've given and received impact play at Kestrels, Angels and Jaydees, usually with an audience. I tend to assume that if someone does not like to watch such activities then they will probably not hang around the dungeon areas. I'm a kinky, switch, polyamorous swinger....nobody likes me lol " Fair point
You seem ok hehe | |||
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"In my (limited) experience people are intrigued by our D/s relationship, but tend to think of it in terms of just the physical props. I get blank looks when I talk about the mental and emotional release I feel from submitting to Sir. I've not had a negative reaction, I just find I'm not understood. Women tend to be the most intrigued, and I'm quite happy to discuss what about the lifestyle works for us. There's a lot of misinformation on both sides I think. That said, lines are easily blurred." Thank you for your contribution
You do your Sir proud from the sounds of it and it's great for people to know there's someone out there willing to help in that way sharing experiences | |||
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"We always introduce a little latex into our club nights and being a natural sub/domme couple and he cuckold the humiliation aspect is there. I like it here likes it and the men in fuck like it" Isn't this the main important factor in individual kink and fetish, in appropriate place loved by participants and done right harming nobody | |||
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"Both sides seem to sneer at each other. Shame there's no crossover place for people in the middle. "It really is a shame I don't see the issue both seem perfectly compatible with just a bit of understanding | |||
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"Both sides seem to sneer at each other. Shame there's no crossover place for people in the middle. "Absolutely. I've been involved in BDSM professionally and privately or 17 years and have received snobbery on both sides. Though I tend to defend swinging a lot more to kinksters. I ran a club night that brought the two tribes together and ran successfully for six months. Hope to try again soon. It was rewarding to see everyone get kinky in the dungeon then go upstairs to fuck | |||
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"Both sides seem to sneer at each other. Shame there's no crossover place for people in the middle. "There is in Manchester at least. Amours is the venue for Play Club in Manchester
We have a great time there...
Flames (and Phoenix!)
Reminds me, need to upload a pic of our latest visit there with her nicely flogged bum | |||
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"Both sides seem to sneer at each other. Shame there's no crossover place for people in the middle.
Absolutely. I've been involved in BDSM professionally and privately or 17 years and have received snobbery on both sides.
Though I tend to defend swinging a lot more to kinksters.
I ran a club night that brought the two tribes together and ran successfully for six months. Hope to try again soon. It was rewarding to see everyone get kinky in the dungeon then go upstairs to fuck "That sounds fantastic!! x | |||
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"Both sides seem to sneer at each other. Shame there's no crossover place for people in the middle.
There is in Manchester at least.
Amours is the venue for Play Club in Manchester
We have a great time there...
Flames (and Phoenix!)
Reminds me, need to upload a pic of our latest visit there with her nicely flogged bum"What is Play Club? | |||
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" Doesn't that also mean they have every right to be open free recognised and respected like everyone else too without prejudice? " Are you really asking that people should not have an opinion on other peoples kinks ? I have found when people do they are told to go educate themselves as they can't possibly understand any of it so I think it works both ways. | |||
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"Both sides seem to sneer at each other. Shame there's no crossover place for people in the middle.
Absolutely. I've been involved in BDSM professionally and privately or 17 years and have received snobbery on both sides.
Though I tend to defend swinging a lot more to kinksters.
I ran a club night that brought the two tribes together and ran successfully for six months. Hope to try again soon. It was rewarding to see everyone get kinky in the dungeon then go upstairs to fuck "Sounds great definitely worth doing again  | |||
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"Both sides seem to sneer at each other. Shame there's no crossover place for people in the middle.
There is in Manchester at least.
Amours is the venue for Play Club in Manchester
We have a great time there...
Flames (and Phoenix!)
Reminds me, need to upload a pic of our latest visit there with her nicely flogged bum"Sounds great too worth a visit if up that way | |||
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"Both sides seem to sneer at each other. Shame there's no crossover place for people in the middle.
There is in Manchester at least.
Amours is the venue for Play Club in Manchester
We have a great time there...
Flames (and Phoenix!)
Reminds me, need to upload a pic of our latest visit there with her nicely flogged bum
What is Play Club?"More importantly has that pic been uploaded | |||
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" Doesn't that also mean they have every right to be open free recognised and respected like everyone else too without prejudice? Are you really asking that people should not have an opinion on other peoples kinks ? I have found when people do they are told to go educate themselves as they can't possibly understand any of it so I think it works both ways. " Not at all everyone is entitled to their opinion as far as I'm aware there is no thought police yet hehe however there isn't a need for prejudice and or a lack of respect though as that was the point in the bit you copied and quoted
Yes sadly there does seem an unwillingness among some to be helpful in others trying ro understand it | |||
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" Doesn't that also mean they have every right to be open free recognised and respected like everyone else too without prejudice? Are you really asking that people should not have an opinion on other peoples kinks ? I have found when people do they are told to go educate themselves as they can't possibly understand any of it so I think it works both ways. Not at all everyone is entitled to their opinion as far as I'm aware there is no thought police yet hehe however there isn't a need for prejudice and or a lack of respect though as that was the point in the bit you copied and quoted
Yes sadly there does seem an unwillingness among some to be helpful in others trying ro understand it "I would say the respect should work both ways. It doesn't always happen that way. | |||
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"I think you're right in that people do not understand bdsm and the relationships involved. On the flip side there are a lot of people who have suffered domestic abuse and to see a man inflicting pain on a women (I appreciate that the roles can be reversed) is horrific. It can bring up memories and trauma rather forgotten and produce genuine feelings to want to make sure the submissive is not in an abusive relationship or has a psychological need to be punished because of past experiences. As usual I'm probably not expressing my thoughts properly or clearly. " Very well put thank you very constructive without being insultive! 
I totally understand that although would a dungeon or similar place be appropriate for a victim of abuse who is still traumatised by the events don't forget men are being documented a lot over recent years as suffering domestic abuse at the hands of women too sadly both genders are not free of the possibility | |||
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" Doesn't that also mean they have every right to be open free recognised and respected like everyone else too without prejudice? Are you really asking that people should not have an opinion on other peoples kinks ? I have found when people do they are told to go educate themselves as they can't possibly understand any of it so I think it works both ways. Not at all everyone is entitled to their opinion as far as I'm aware there is no thought police yet hehe however there isn't a need for prejudice and or a lack of respect though as that was the point in the bit you copied and quoted
Yes sadly there does seem an unwillingness among some to be helpful in others trying ro understand it
I would say the respect should work both ways. It doesn't always happen that way. "Well said indeed respect should always be afforded both ways yet isn't always, I like to try and rise above it though | |||
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"It seems that some people feel bdsm D/s style dynamics have no place in swinging, however some swingers clubs cater to this. I believe the two cross over from subtle ways to obvious ones and it doesn't make sense to say the two are separate, surely regardless of your dynamics for meets with fb fwb D/s etc if partner sharing swopping and other such activities are taking place doesn't that still make them swingers? Doesn't that also mean they have every right to be open free recognised and respected like everyone else too without prejudice? " Here we go again! | |||
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" I would say the respect should work both ways. It doesn't always happen that way. Well said indeed respect should always be afforded both ways yet isn't always, I like to try and rise above it though "I think there lies the problem....you sound like you are saying if someone doesn't agree with a certain fetish that you have to rise above it for them saying so. | |||
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" Doesn't that also mean they have every right to be open free recognised and respected like everyone else too without prejudice? Are you really asking that people should not have an opinion on other peoples kinks ? I have found when people do they are told to go educate themselves as they can't possibly understand any of it so I think it works both ways. Not at all everyone is entitled to their opinion as far as I'm aware there is no thought police yet hehe however there isn't a need for prejudice and or a lack of respect though as that was the point in the bit you copied and quoted
Yes sadly there does seem an unwillingness among some to be helpful in others trying ro understand it
I would say the respect should work both ways. It doesn't always happen that way. " It doesn't even happen within each group. | |||
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"Doesn't Xtasia have more of a Fetish side too now? I've thought about going. It's good to see a positive thread about BDSM. "Ah good to know
Yes I thought so thank you if it proves popular enough I may continue it, as a balance to the negativity that exists | |||
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" I would say the respect should work both ways. It doesn't always happen that way. Well said indeed respect should always be afforded both ways yet isn't always, I like to try and rise above it though
I think there lies the problem....you sound like you are saying if someone doesn't agree with a certain fetish that you have to rise above it for them saying so.
"That's a twisted version of what I said though if disrespectful behaviour or attitudes are given due to my likes and beliefs I rise above the negativity and disrespect simply because if people have an issue with my likes or dislikes and are untoward I refuse to make it my issue by engaging in angry abusive retorts
Hope that clears that up | |||
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" What is Play Club? More importantly has that pic been uploaded "It has
And for Play Club have a look at Popi_ic 's profile as there's info on there - albeit it needs an update.
Next event is on the 4th of March.
Cheers
Flames | |||
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" What is Play Club? More importantly has that pic been uploaded
It has
And for Play Club have a look at Popi_ic 's profile as there's info on there - albeit it needs an update.
Next event is on the 4th of March.
Cheers
Flames"Thank you | |||
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" What is Play Club? More importantly has that pic been uploaded
It has
And for Play Club have a look at Popi_ic 's profile as there's info on there - albeit it needs an update.
Next event is on the 4th of March.
Cheers
Flames"Oooo very nice indeed couldn't help a little fingering there | |||
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" I would say the respect should work both ways. It doesn't always happen that way. Well said indeed respect should always be afforded both ways yet isn't always, I like to try and rise above it though
I think there lies the problem....you sound like you are saying if someone doesn't agree with a certain fetish that you have to rise above it for them saying so.
That's a twisted version of what I said though if disrespectful behaviour or attitudes are given due to my likes and beliefs I rise above the negativity and disrespect simply because if people have an issue with my likes or dislikes and are untoward I refuse to make it my issue by engaging in angry abusive retorts
Hope that clears that up "Not really to be honest. The reason I say this is because of why I think this thread was started. Obviously I could be totally wrong but if it is the reason I think it is then there was no abuse or negativity....there was just disagreement. Respecting peoples views is about listening to what they are saying and not telling them they should go educate themselves. Maybe they already did and still have the same opinion. Just a thought | |||
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" I would say the respect should work both ways. It doesn't always happen that way. Well said indeed respect should always be afforded both ways yet isn't always, I like to try and rise above it though
I think there lies the problem....you sound like you are saying if someone doesn't agree with a certain fetish that you have to rise above it for them saying so.
That's a twisted version of what I said though if disrespectful behaviour or attitudes are given due to my likes and beliefs I rise above the negativity and disrespect simply because if people have an issue with my likes or dislikes and are untoward I refuse to make it my issue by engaging in angry abusive retorts
Hope that clears that up
Not really to be honest. The reason I say this is because of why I think this thread was started. Obviously I could be totally wrong but if it is the reason I think it is then there was no abuse or negativity....there was just disagreement. Respecting peoples views is about listening to what they are saying and not telling them they should go educate themselves. Maybe they already did and still have the same opinion. Just a thought"Sorry I'm not sure what you are referring to and it sounds like a non pertinent conversation to have publicly as involves disagreement and other people, if you would like to pm me we could perhaps talk more freely and I may get what you mean. I posted this thread because I have an active interest in this area and want to connect with others on fab who share that interest too, what better way than to post about BDSM and get a conversation going that will have more than one opinion as it enriches any conversation, as for the general topic I had just noticed in a few conversations some feel bdsm isn't a part of swinging but if the people involved are sharing sexual partners then opinion or not by definition they are being swingers even if they don't consider themselves swingers they are still swinging
Just simple unassailable logic | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes." Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes." Yes, yes, yes. | |||
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" Sorry I'm not sure what you are referring to and it sounds like a non pertinent conversation to have publicly as involves disagreement and other people, if you would like to pm me we could perhaps talk more freely and I may get what you mean. I " No thanks we have no need to PM I am answering your post and saying that when asking for respect, it should be given too. I then referred to what I thought made you want to start this thread... I still think thats the case. As I say, respect should work both ways. | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either " I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. | |||
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"Swinging and bdsm crossover is a bit like the straight and the gay crowds - some accept bi people, others don't get it and look down their nose on or are downright judgemental. I'm a true bisexual (not curious, not for show, not for anyone else's benefit). I'm also a kinky swinger and in D/s im switch. I like to have every option going, it's far more fun that way "Indeed....Sometimes I wish I were more bi than I am for that very reason. | |||
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" Sorry I'm not sure what you are referring to and it sounds like a non pertinent conversation to have publicly as involves disagreement and other people, if you would like to pm me we could perhaps talk more freely and I may get what you mean. I No thanks we have no need to PM I am answering your post and saying that when asking for respect, it should be given too. I then referred to what I thought made you want to start this thread... I still think thats the case. As I say, respect should work both ways. " Fair enough I'm not sure what you mean but I desire no conflict and agree wholeheartedly that respect should work both ways | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person." Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though | |||
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"Swinging and bdsm crossover is a bit like the straight and the gay crowds - some accept bi people, others don't get it and look down their nose on or are downright judgemental. I'm a true bisexual (not curious, not for show, not for anyone else's benefit). I'm also a kinky swinger and in D/s im switch. I like to have every option going, it's far more fun that way "Interesting analogy thank you
Nothing wrong there just broader horizons than some | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though "People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others. | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others. " | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others. " | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others. "Absolutely I agree people are free to post as they please following the rules of course, definitely so that's what I was saying before and it is the same for myself although I do have some fun on forum too but the real details are kept between us D/s. Of course not although it is common for an outward display in some way to show the symbiosis often in the way of profile wording and reference with appellation used, of course I would imagine it's not for all but horses for courses eh | |||
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"Both are great fun and I don't see why anyone should look down on anyone else for what they enjoy, and if they do then they're tools Ruby" Very well put
Apart from the tool statement | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others. "very correct and its why i struggle in the swinging world where people are always discussing there last fuck who they turned down you name it and it reminds me of the school play ground as a teenager . | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others.
Absolutely I agree people are free to post as they please following the rules of course, definitely so that's what I was saying before and it is the same for myself although I do have some fun on forum too but the real details are kept between us D/s.
Of course not although it is common for an outward display in some way to show the symbiosis often in the way of profile wording and reference with appellation used, of course I would imagine it's not for all but horses for courses eh "I've never seen anyone else doing it to be honest. In the same way that you very rarely see people bragging about meets. But you carry on, oh and by the way, big words might impress others but not doing it for me | |||
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Paradise Club has a BDSM room. | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others.
very correct and its why i struggle in the swinging world where people are always discussing there last fuck who they turned down you name it and it reminds me of the school play ground as a teenager ."Again I think the key is understanding and accepting the differences each to their own as long as they are happy | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others.
Absolutely I agree people are free to post as they please following the rules of course, definitely so that's what I was saying before and it is the same for myself although I do have some fun on forum too but the real details are kept between us D/s.
Of course not although it is common for an outward display in some way to show the symbiosis often in the way of profile wording and reference with appellation used, of course I would imagine it's not for all but horses for courses eh
I've never seen anyone else doing it to be honest. In the same way that you very rarely see people bragging about meets.
But you carry on, oh and by the way, big words might impress others but not doing it for me "Perhaps you've not I have seen plenty of it talking about meets etc as the previous comment I replied to pointed out
And there are profiles out there with some form of reference to them being Dom or sub or even both, whether it's in the profile name or writeup they are definitely out there.
Thank you for your opinion though all are welcome. | |||
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"There is crossover though, there are plenty of BDSM practitioners on here and swingers on their websites
Paradise Club has a BDSM room."Indeed it's there ok, would be great to see a bit more too | |||
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"My best friend is kinky, but monogamous. He wouldn't dream of playing with anyone but his girlfriend. I am a swinging hedonist, who is pro kink, but rarely get deep into fetish on a play date. " It's good to see these diverse perspectives and experiences too, it's interesting how different people integrate these things individually into their lives creating their own tailored experience | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others.
Absolutely I agree people are free to post as they please following the rules of course, definitely so that's what I was saying before and it is the same for myself although I do have some fun on forum too but the real details are kept between us D/s.
Of course not although it is common for an outward display in some way to show the symbiosis often in the way of profile wording and reference with appellation used, of course I would imagine it's not for all but horses for courses eh
I've never seen anyone else doing it to be honest. In the same way that you very rarely see people bragging about meets.
But you carry on, oh and by the way, big words might impress others but not doing it for me
Perhaps you've not I have seen plenty of it talking about meets etc as the previous comment I replied to pointed out
And there are profiles out there with some form of reference to them being Dom or sub or even both, whether it's in the profile name or writeup they are definitely out there.
Thank you for your opinion though all are welcome. "Oh I've seen it on plenty of profiles, that doesn't bother me at all. I've obviously been lucky or unlucky as the case maybe to have only seen one or two people posting about their d/s relationship and if that's an indication, it's possibly not the scene for me. I like to hear about others experiences, and I have via messages, it inspires me but when it's played out openly in the forums it's cringeworthy, as I've already stated it comes across as bragging rights and look at me stuff. But maybe I don't really understand the d/s stuff as well as you seem to. | |||
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"Most swinging parties we attend usually has someone there with some form of BDSM "bent", even if it starts off with a set of fluffy handcuffs. When we mention we like a little restraint etc, its not long before our second playbag gets raided for bits and pieces, and even the "shy wallflower" at her first party suddenly becomes either a rope bunny or a whip-wielding domme lol. "Hehe great stuff sounds like lots of fun too
Love the descriptives too
It's interesting how sometimes in a group people can be more open to things and others less so | |||
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"Most swinging parties we attend usually has someone there with some form of BDSM "bent", even if it starts off with a set of fluffy handcuffs. When we mention we like a little restraint etc, its not long before our second playbag gets raided for bits and pieces, and even the "shy wallflower" at her first party suddenly becomes either a rope bunny or a whip-wielding domme lol.
Hehe great stuff sounds like lots of fun too
Love the descriptives too
It's interesting how sometimes in a group people can be more open to things and others less so " | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others.
Absolutely I agree people are free to post as they please following the rules of course, definitely so that's what I was saying before and it is the same for myself although I do have some fun on forum too but the real details are kept between us D/s.
Of course not although it is common for an outward display in some way to show the symbiosis often in the way of profile wording and reference with appellation used, of course I would imagine it's not for all but horses for courses eh
I've never seen anyone else doing it to be honest. In the same way that you very rarely see people bragging about meets.
But you carry on, oh and by the way, big words might impress others but not doing it for me
Perhaps you've not I have seen plenty of it talking about meets etc as the previous comment I replied to pointed out
And there are profiles out there with some form of reference to them being Dom or sub or even both, whether it's in the profile name or writeup they are definitely out there.
Thank you for your opinion though all are welcome.
Oh I've seen it on plenty of profiles, that doesn't bother me at all. I've obviously been lucky or unlucky as the case maybe to have only seen one or two people posting about their d/s relationship and if that's an indication, it's possibly not the scene for me. I like to hear about others experiences, and I have via messages, it inspires me but when it's played out openly in the forums it's cringeworthy, as I've already stated it comes across as bragging rights and look at me stuff. But maybe I don't really understand the d/s stuff as well as you seem to. "Perhaps, perhaps not but either way princess and I are happy with our D/s harmless fun online which in no way represents our actual dynamics, boundaries, goals etc, as mentioned before the real stuff is private and not shared with others online or otherwise, although occasionally privately discussed as you have mentioned with others | |||
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"Personally I think everyone deserves the right to respect without prejudice... I've always found in the over 9 years I've been swinging that bdsm does definitely feature in the lifestyle a lot, it seems to be a popular interest, as do a lot of other things... As with anything if it not your cup of tea, don't indulge and leave those that want to be...to each their own and all that... "Definitely agree respect without prejudice totally
It's good to hear your perspective too thank you, I wonder if the issues are caused by a few spoiling it for the many as the saying goes | |||
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"Most swinging parties we attend usually has someone there with some form of BDSM "bent", even if it starts off with a set of fluffy handcuffs. When we mention we like a little restraint etc, its not long before our second playbag gets raided for bits and pieces, and even the "shy wallflower" at her first party suddenly becomes either a rope bunny or a whip-wielding domme lol.
Hehe great stuff sounds like lots of fun too
Love the descriptives too
It's interesting how sometimes in a group people can be more open to things and others less so
"Evening princess xxx | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Most swinging parties we attend usually has someone there with some form of BDSM "bent", even if it starts off with a set of fluffy handcuffs. When we mention we like a little restraint etc, its not long before our second playbag gets raided for bits and pieces, and even the "shy wallflower" at her first party suddenly becomes either a rope bunny or a whip-wielding domme lol.
Hehe great stuff sounds like lots of fun too
Love the descriptives too
It's interesting how sometimes in a group people can be more open to things and others less so
Evening princess xxx"Hello Sir | |||
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"Most swinging parties we attend usually has someone there with some form of BDSM "bent", even if it starts off with a set of fluffy handcuffs. When we mention we like a little restraint etc, its not long before our second playbag gets raided for bits and pieces, and even the "shy wallflower" at her first party suddenly becomes either a rope bunny or a whip-wielding domme lol.
Hehe great stuff sounds like lots of fun too
Love the descriptives too
It's interesting how sometimes in a group people can be more open to things and others less so
Evening princess xxx
Hello Sir " | |||
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"Well that was interesting reading "I skipped most of it It was sending me to sleep | |||
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"Well that was interesting reading
I skipped most of it
It was sending me to sleep "I know, I have the same problem with Coranation street, the interlectual input is brill, oh for a vinalla world - Ho hum | |||
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"Well that was interesting reading
I skipped most of it
It was sending me to sleep
I know, I have the same problem with Coranation street, the interlectual input is brill, oh for a vinalla world - Ho hum"Watch Eastenders instead | |||
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"It seems that some people feel bdsm D/s style dynamics have no place in swinging, however some swingers clubs cater to this. I believe the two cross over from subtle ways to obvious ones and it doesn't make sense to say the two are separate, surely regardless of your dynamics for meets with fb fwb D/s etc if partner sharing swopping and other such activities are taking place doesn't that still make them swingers? Doesn't that also mean they have every right to be open free recognised and respected like everyone else too without prejudice? " It does for sure cross over into swinging and other dynamics too. I for one am a big fan of bdsm and also crossing over with my cuck dynamic also. So yes it does have a place in the swinging world | |||
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"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure." Oh god you can't mention swinging at a munch, imagine the idgamy and down right tastelessness to put thick, working class swingers who just shag other people on a par with the highly educated, middle classes who practise the BDSM arts | |||
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"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure. Oh god you can't mention swinging at a munch, imagine the idgamy and down right tastelessness to put thick, working class swingers who just shag other people on a par with the highly educated, middle classes who practise the BDSM arts "tbh, the munch i went to where the people looked higher class was a lot more welcoming and friendly. | |||
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"Unfettered have you tried the new HDZ at Abfab or hellfires swish (swing/fetish)?" No iv not so really must get to them, actually abfab is nice and close too I have heard great things about it not heard of hellfires though where is that | |||
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"love the idea of exploring bdsm with in our swinging life, we have been looking for a kinky couple or fem to meet for a bdsm / swinging sesh "Absolutely it can be so addictive
Im hoping enough interest will be there to make this thread regular if that's the case there will be plenty popping on thread to potentially meet | |||
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"It seems that some people feel bdsm D/s style dynamics have no place in swinging, however some swingers clubs cater to this. I believe the two cross over from subtle ways to obvious ones and it doesn't make sense to say the two are separate, surely regardless of your dynamics for meets with fb fwb D/s etc if partner sharing swopping and other such activities are taking place doesn't that still make them swingers? Doesn't that also mean they have every right to be open free recognised and respected like everyone else too without prejudice? It does for sure cross over into swinging and other dynamics too. I for one am a big fan of bdsm and also crossing over with my cuck dynamic also. So yes it does have a place in the swinging world" It seems there's others who agree too princess it's good that things are integrating more as time goes by | |||
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"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure. Oh god you can't mention swinging at a munch, imagine the idgamy and down right tastelessness to put thick, working class swingers who just shag other people on a par with the highly educated, middle classes who practise the BDSM arts "Sounds a little awkward | |||
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"It seems that some people feel bdsm D/s style dynamics have no place in swinging, however some swingers clubs cater to this. I believe the two cross over from subtle ways to obvious ones and it doesn't make sense to say the two are separate, surely regardless of your dynamics for meets with fb fwb D/s etc if partner sharing swopping and other such activities are taking place doesn't that still make them swingers? Doesn't that also mean they have every right to be open free recognised and respected like everyone else too without prejudice? It does for sure cross over into swinging and other dynamics too. I for one am a big fan of bdsm and also crossing over with my cuck dynamic also. So yes it does have a place in the swinging world It seems there's others who agree too princess it's good that things are integrating more as time goes by "oh it certainly does Sir, great thread xx | |||
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"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure. Oh god you can't mention swinging at a munch, imagine the idgamy and down right tastelessness to put thick, working class swingers who just shag other people on a par with the highly educated, middle classes who practise the BDSM arts
tbh, the munch i went to where the people looked higher class was a lot more welcoming and friendly."Sounds a nicer experience too
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"Unfettered have you tried the new HDZ at Abfab or hellfires swish (swing/fetish)? No iv not so really must get to them, actually abfab is nice and close too I have heard great things about it not heard of hellfires though where is that "It's in sunbury so not far. Less busy whenever ive gone there compared to HDZ. Come say hi if you go to abfab I'm normally around | |||
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"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure. Oh god you can't mention swinging at a munch, imagine the idgamy and down right tastelessness to put thick, working class swingers who just shag other people on a par with the highly educated, middle classes who practise the BDSM arts
tbh, the munch i went to where the people looked higher class was a lot more welcoming and friendly.
Sounds a nicer experience too
"yeah. shame it's harder to get to and back from than the other one (which i went to more). | |||
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"Unfettered have you tried the new HDZ at Abfab or hellfires swish (swing/fetish)? No iv not so really must get to them, actually abfab is nice and close too I have heard great things about it not heard of hellfires though where is that
It's in sunbury so not far. Less busy whenever ive gone there compared to HDZ. Come say hi if you go to abfab I'm normally around "That's really quite close too
Why thank you that sounds great will definitely say hello if your there | |||
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"Unfettered have you tried the new HDZ at Abfab or hellfires swish (swing/fetish)? No iv not so really must get to them, actually abfab is nice and close too I have heard great things about it not heard of hellfires though where is that
It's in sunbury so not far. Less busy whenever ive gone there compared to HDZ. Come say hi if you go to abfab I'm normally around
That's really quite close too
Why thank you that sounds great will definitely say hello if your there "I'm always 'on duty' at HDZ in the dungeon doing demos | |||
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"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure. Oh god you can't mention swinging at a munch, imagine the idgamy and down right tastelessness to put thick, working class swingers who just shag other people on a par with the highly educated, middle classes who practise the BDSM arts
tbh, the munch i went to where the people looked higher class was a lot more welcoming and friendly.
Sounds a nicer experience too
yeah. shame it's harder to get to and back from than the other one (which i went to more)."So often a catch eh to make the choice frustrating
I'm definitely hoping to experience a variety of places out there | |||
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"seems like there not much my way which is a shame" Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though | |||
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"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though " Ive never heard of Quest | |||
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"Unfettered have you tried the new HDZ at Abfab or hellfires swish (swing/fetish)? No iv not so really must get to them, actually abfab is nice and close too I have heard great things about it not heard of hellfires though where is that
It's in sunbury so not far. Less busy whenever ive gone there compared to HDZ. Come say hi if you go to abfab I'm normally around
That's really quite close too
Why thank you that sounds great will definitely say hello if your there
I'm always 'on duty' at HDZ in the dungeon doing demos "Sounds brilliant if im lucky I may pick up some techniques | |||
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"Unfettered have you tried the new HDZ at Abfab or hellfires swish (swing/fetish)? No iv not so really must get to them, actually abfab is nice and close too I have heard great things about it not heard of hellfires though where is that
It's in sunbury so not far. Less busy whenever ive gone there compared to HDZ. Come say hi if you go to abfab I'm normally around
That's really quite close too
Why thank you that sounds great will definitely say hello if your there
I'm always 'on duty' at HDZ in the dungeon doing demos
Sounds brilliant if im lucky I may pick up some techniques "Technically should have posted that from here | |||
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"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though " Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe | |||
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"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe "Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab | |||
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"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab "oh there all too far from me im afraid some nearly 3 hours drive | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab
oh there all too far from me im afraid some nearly 3 hours drive"Hmm maybe drive south is better for you - twisted at VA in sandy any better? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Unfettered have you tried the new HDZ at Abfab or hellfires swish (swing/fetish)? No iv not so really must get to them, actually abfab is nice and close too I have heard great things about it not heard of hellfires though where is that
It's in sunbury so not far. Less busy whenever ive gone there compared to HDZ. Come say hi if you go to abfab I'm normally around
That's really quite close too
Why thank you that sounds great will definitely say hello if your there
I'm always 'on duty' at HDZ in the dungeon doing demos
Sounds brilliant if im lucky I may pick up some techniques
Technically should have posted that from here "Wow! I could learn so much from you just peeked at your profile mind buzzing | |||
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"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab
oh there all too far from me im afraid some nearly 3 hours drive
Hmm maybe drive south is better for you - twisted at VA in sandy any better? "Its about 2 hours I think, maybe in time if I have a chaperone | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab "Is that fet life? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab
oh there all too far from me im afraid some nearly 3 hours drive
Hmm maybe drive south is better for you - twisted at VA in sandy any better?
Its about 2 hours I think, maybe in time if I have a chaperone"Sounds much better though | |||
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"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab
oh there all too far from me im afraid some nearly 3 hours drive
Hmm maybe drive south is better for you - twisted at VA in sandy any better?
Its about 2 hours I think, maybe in time if I have a chaperone
Sounds much better though"how do you mean sir | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab
oh there all too far from me im afraid some nearly 3 hours drive
Hmm maybe drive south is better for you - twisted at VA in sandy any better?
Its about 2 hours I think, maybe in time if I have a chaperone
Sounds much better though
how do you mean sir"Well an hour closer for a start | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab
Is that fet life?"Yes but we not meant to name competitors so I was being discreet lol | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab
oh there all too far from me im afraid some nearly 3 hours drive
Hmm maybe drive south is better for you - twisted at VA in sandy any better?
Its about 2 hours I think, maybe in time if I have a chaperone"I'd not let you go alone where your not comfortable princess | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab
Is that fet life?
Yes but we not meant to name competitors so I was being discreet lol " crap | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab
oh there all too far from me im afraid some nearly 3 hours drive
Hmm maybe drive south is better for you - twisted at VA in sandy any better?
Its about 2 hours I think, maybe in time if I have a chaperone
I'd not let you go alone where your not comfortable princess "oh I no you would keep me safe | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab
oh there all too far from me im afraid some nearly 3 hours drive
Hmm maybe drive south is better for you - twisted at VA in sandy any better?
Its about 2 hours I think, maybe in time if I have a chaperone
I'd not let you go alone where your not comfortable princess
oh I no you would keep me safe "Always | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab
oh there all too far from me im afraid some nearly 3 hours drive
Hmm maybe drive south is better for you - twisted at VA in sandy any better?
Its about 2 hours I think, maybe in time if I have a chaperone
I'd not let you go alone where your not comfortable princess
oh I no you would keep me safe
Always "I can go too to keep a eye on her. | |||
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"I think you're right in that people do not understand bdsm and the relationships involved. On the flip side there are a lot of people who have suffered domestic abuse and to see a man inflicting pain on a women (I appreciate that the roles can be reversed) is horrific. It can bring up memories and trauma rather forgotten and produce genuine feelings to want to make sure the submissive is not in an abusive relationship or has a psychological need to be punished because of past experiences. As usual I'm probably not expressing my thoughts properly or clearly. " There used to be a couple who attended a club I go to. Because the Lady was profoundly deaf & had trouble communicating to those of us who can't 'speak' sign language, there were those who thought she was being forced to attend the club, and was in an abusive relationship. However, I spoke to both of them (just general bar side chat) and discovered that "we come because I can't satisfy her, and she needs plenty of sex. I come to keep her safe". Certainly she was a very enthusiastic player & always looked to be enjoying herself. | |||
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"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab
oh there all too far from me im afraid some nearly 3 hours drive
Hmm maybe drive south is better for you - twisted at VA in sandy any better?
Its about 2 hours I think, maybe in time if I have a chaperone
I'd not let you go alone where your not comfortable princess
oh I no you would keep me safe
Always
I can go too to keep a eye on her. "You will have to ask Sir for permission | |||
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'... Apart from a handful.
I am a bratty princess first and foremost and I don't consider myself a swinger (which goes back to can single people be swingers debate), I know I'd feel more comfortable in a swingers club which had a little more kinky stuff in it, such as xtasia, or even some of the fetish clubs in London.
I also find the fetish scene a lot more including, where as my experience of patrons at swingers clubs is quite set to 35 year old plus white couples, who aren't actually as friendly as most of the cool cats ive met out and about in London. | |||
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"I make no secret I'm more into kink but instead of being a swinger, I see myself as non monogamous, and the fetish scene has taught me that more than fab ever has. I acknowledge on my profile that I am not a swinger per se, and would much rather meet a couple of kinky guys/couples than 10-15 vanilla counterparts. Some of my kinks (beyond objectification and dollification, shared by lots of men etc) are quite dark and I have discussed them with a couple of people from here, and on the whole the reaction has been '... That's what gets you off? '... Apart from a handful.
I am a bratty princess first and foremost and I don't consider myself a swinger (which goes back to can single people be swingers debate), I know I'd feel more comfortable in a swingers club which had a little more kinky stuff in it, such as xtasia, or even some of the fetish clubs in London.
I also find the fetish scene a lot more including, where as my experience of patrons at swingers clubs is quite set to 35 year old plus white couples, who aren't actually as friendly as most of the cool cats ive met out and about in London. "Ive learned while being on the scene, nothing shocks me, infact I listen and consider what the possibilities are from their view points and interests. Im sure whay ever you do makes you happy and are who cares what other people think type of persona. Hands up to you, you sound like a top lady with some fantastic ideas | |||
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"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab
oh there all too far from me im afraid some nearly 3 hours drive
Hmm maybe drive south is better for you - twisted at VA in sandy any better?
Its about 2 hours I think, maybe in time if I have a chaperone
I'd not let you go alone where your not comfortable princess
oh I no you would keep me safe
Always
I can go too to keep a eye on her. "Thankyou for the offer your a good man | |||
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"I think you're right in that people do not understand bdsm and the relationships involved. On the flip side there are a lot of people who have suffered domestic abuse and to see a man inflicting pain on a women (I appreciate that the roles can be reversed) is horrific. It can bring up memories and trauma rather forgotten and produce genuine feelings to want to make sure the submissive is not in an abusive relationship or has a psychological need to be punished because of past experiences. As usual I'm probably not expressing my thoughts properly or clearly. There used to be a couple who attended a club I go to. Because the Lady was profoundly deaf & had trouble communicating to those of us who can't 'speak' sign language, there were those who thought she was being forced to attend the club, and was in an abusive relationship. However, I spoke to both of them (just general bar side chat) and discovered that "we come because I can't satisfy her, and she needs plenty of sex. I come to keep her safe". Certainly she was a very enthusiastic player & always looked to be enjoying herself. " It's certain very easy to jump to conclusions I think where other peoples likes needs etc are concerned but sometimes understandably so, in general it would be great to see more wide spread tolerance and lack of judgmental approach but we are all human | |||
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"seems like there not much my way which is a shame Lots of fet events at quest I guess is your nearest. Or xtasia. Still both a trek though Quest I have heard of mixed reviews about it, not heard of Xtasia though although being quite new to the scene it's hardly surprising hehe
Quest is in Leeds and has a good dungeon and good regular fet events 2-3 a month. Xtasia in West Brom have purgatory a dedicated dungeon space with LOTS of kink events, wish I lived closer!! I only post those type of events on fet not fab
oh there all too far from me im afraid some nearly 3 hours drive
Hmm maybe drive south is better for you - twisted at VA in sandy any better?
Its about 2 hours I think, maybe in time if I have a chaperone
I'd not let you go alone where your not comfortable princess
oh I no you would keep me safe
Always
I can go too to keep a eye on her.
You will have to ask Sir for permission "Indeed princess | |||
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"I make no secret I'm more into kink but instead of being a swinger, I see myself as non monogamous, and the fetish scene has taught me that more than fab ever has. I acknowledge on my profile that I am not a swinger per se, and would much rather meet a couple of kinky guys/couples than 10-15 vanilla counterparts. Some of my kinks (beyond objectification and dollification, shared by lots of men etc) are quite dark and I have discussed them with a couple of people from here, and on the whole the reaction has been '... That's what gets you off? '... Apart from a handful.
I am a bratty princess first and foremost and I don't consider myself a swinger (which goes back to can single people be swingers debate), I know I'd feel more comfortable in a swingers club which had a little more kinky stuff in it, such as xtasia, or even some of the fetish clubs in London.
I also find the fetish scene a lot more including, where as my experience of patrons at swingers clubs is quite set to 35 year old plus white couples, who aren't actually as friendly as most of the cool cats ive met out and about in London. "Hello PFT lovely to see you contributing on my thread
That's a really good different perspective non monogamous instead of swinger, iv heard this a few times and not truly understood it but I think im starting to understand now.
I'm beginning to understand how that feels too, a person's wants desires and needs as long as not causing actual harm through a scene that will lead to issues is perfectly ok, full understanding isn't required just that's it's what they like want and need should be enough to maintain respect.
Indeed I'm learning there's plenty around and quite keen to try some out, I have heard lots of good about HDZ and there seems a very nice friendly atmosphere from the lovely lady I spoke with yesterday evening on here
Really appreciate your thoughts here darlin thank you very much I'm so pleased that there are people coming forward and sharing their views, experiences and knowledge being quite new to me u could do with all the input and learning possible to be a safe and good person on the scene that's respectful of others while learning and growing | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others.
Absolutely I agree people are free to post as they please following the rules of course, definitely so that's what I was saying before and it is the same for myself although I do have some fun on forum too but the real details are kept between us D/s.
Of course not although it is common for an outward display in some way to show the symbiosis often in the way of profile wording and reference with appellation used, of course I would imagine it's not for all but horses for courses eh
I've never seen anyone else doing it to be honest. In the same way that you very rarely see people bragging about meets.
But you carry on, oh and by the way, big words might impress others but not doing it for me
Perhaps you've not I have seen plenty of it talking about meets etc as the previous comment I replied to pointed out
And there are profiles out there with some form of reference to them being Dom or sub or even both, whether it's in the profile name or writeup they are definitely out there.
Thank you for your opinion though all are welcome.
Oh I've seen it on plenty of profiles, that doesn't bother me at all. I've obviously been lucky or unlucky as the case maybe to have only seen one or two people posting about their d/s relationship and if that's an indication, it's possibly not the scene for me. I like to hear about others experiences, and I have via messages, it inspires me but when it's played out openly in the forums it's cringeworthy, as I've already stated it comes across as bragging rights and look at me stuff. But maybe I don't really understand the d/s stuff as well as you seem to.
Perhaps, perhaps not but either way princess and I are happy with our D/s harmless fun online which in no way represents our actual dynamics, boundaries, goals etc, as mentioned before the real stuff is private and not shared with others online or otherwise, although occasionally privately discussed as you have mentioned with others "Sorry, I've only just noticed that you replied to my comment. Your dynamics on here comes across as very 50 shades to me, but then maybe that's you just being flirty together? I'm off to do some reading about the d/s dynamic and broadening my horizons, because I obviously and I suspect many others don't have a clue, so thanks for making us aware of how it all works | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others.
Absolutely I agree people are free to post as they please following the rules of course, definitely so that's what I was saying before and it is the same for myself although I do have some fun on forum too but the real details are kept between us D/s.
Of course not although it is common for an outward display in some way to show the symbiosis often in the way of profile wording and reference with appellation used, of course I would imagine it's not for all but horses for courses eh
I've never seen anyone else doing it to be honest. In the same way that you very rarely see people bragging about meets.
But you carry on, oh and by the way, big words might impress others but not doing it for me
Perhaps you've not I have seen plenty of it talking about meets etc as the previous comment I replied to pointed out
And there are profiles out there with some form of reference to them being Dom or sub or even both, whether it's in the profile name or writeup they are definitely out there.
Thank you for your opinion though all are welcome.
Oh I've seen it on plenty of profiles, that doesn't bother me at all. I've obviously been lucky or unlucky as the case maybe to have only seen one or two people posting about their d/s relationship and if that's an indication, it's possibly not the scene for me. I like to hear about others experiences, and I have via messages, it inspires me but when it's played out openly in the forums it's cringeworthy, as I've already stated it comes across as bragging rights and look at me stuff. But maybe I don't really understand the d/s stuff as well as you seem to.
Perhaps, perhaps not but either way princess and I are happy with our D/s harmless fun online which in no way represents our actual dynamics, boundaries, goals etc, as mentioned before the real stuff is private and not shared with others online or otherwise, although occasionally privately discussed as you have mentioned with others
Sorry, I've only just noticed that you replied to my comment.
Your dynamics on here comes across as very 50 shades to me, but then maybe that's you just being flirty together?
I'm off to do some reading about the d/s dynamic and broadening my horizons, because I obviously and I suspect many others don't have a clue, so thanks for making us aware of how it all works "Of course as ever it's my pleasure to be able open your eyes and be of assistance I do love to be helpful | |||
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"i woukd like to know more about sub space Anyone on here experienced in the scene tell me more on it please " Your in the right thread, there's quite some experienced people here to offer some really valuable advice | |||
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"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure." Agree with you on this. We've met a few BDSM couples who find swinging completely unacceptble. Each to their own I suppose. | |||
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"i woukd like to know more about sub space Anyone on here experienced in the scene tell me more on it please Your in the right thread, there's quite some experienced people here to offer some really valuable advice "I know that's why I asked can you enlighten me on this aspect | |||
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"if i'm at munches i can't mention i'm on fab without some faces being pulled. i think the problem might be that BDSM is more a mentality thing and swinging seems to focus more on pure physical pleasure. Agree with you on this. We've met a few BDSM couples who find swinging completely unacceptble. Each to their own I suppose." It is a shame lack of understanding or tolerance can create divides but human nature is very eclectic and people's individual nature means not all will be compatible I guess | |||
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"i woukd like to know more about sub space Anyone on here experienced in the scene tell me more on it please Your in the right thread, there's quite some experienced people here to offer some really valuable advice
I know that's why I asked
can you enlighten me on this aspect "Probably not myself no seeing as I'm learning and researching myself as iv mentioned a few times I am quite new to it all, I'm comfortable with my journey and am learning but feel am not the best to try and educate about such an important and deep subject as subspace or drop for that matter, I could try to regurgitate the info I have absorbed but truly you would get far more from one of the experienced people who can not just quote text but actually speak from a wealth of experience and do the subject justice | |||
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"i woukd like to know more about sub space Anyone on here experienced in the scene tell me more on it please Your in the right thread, there's quite some experienced people here to offer some really valuable advice
I know that's why I asked
can you enlighten me on this aspect "Someone will probably go into more detail but it's basically the psychological reaction by the bottom to what is happening while they play. Think of it like being in a kind of trance. An experienced top should be aware of this which is important because in extreme cases, one may be unable to use a safe word while experiencing subspace. Here's where I throw myself to the wolves! | |||
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"i woukd like to know more about sub space Anyone on here experienced in the scene tell me more on it please Your in the right thread, there's quite some experienced people here to offer some really valuable advice
I know that's why I asked
can you enlighten me on this aspect
Someone will probably go into more detail but it's basically the psychological reaction by the bottom to what is happening while they play. Think of it like being in a kind of trance. An experienced top should be aware of this which is important because in extreme cases, one may be unable to use a safe word while experiencing subspace.
Here's where I throw myself to the wolves! "Thank you a great description from what I have researched indeed a very vulnerable state then you are saying! It's such a responsibility being a top | |||
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"i woukd like to know more about sub space Anyone on here experienced in the scene tell me more on it please Your in the right thread, there's quite some experienced people here to offer some really valuable advice
I know that's why I asked
can you enlighten me on this aspect
Someone will probably go into more detail but it's basically the psychological reaction by the bottom to what is happening while they play. Think of it like being in a kind of trance. An experienced top should be aware of this which is important because in extreme cases, one may be unable to use a safe word while experiencing subspace.
Here's where I throw myself to the wolves!
Thank you a great description from what I have researched indeed a very vulnerable state then you are saying! It's such a responsibility being a top"I believe it's also to do with a chemical balance change or increase too which combines? | |||
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"i woukd like to know more about sub space Anyone on here experienced in the scene tell me more on it please " I can only speak for myself but subspace is when I completely submit to the experience and the world narrows down to pure sensation. It's like the most amazing high in the world and you just want to live there. I feel total peace and freedom and all that matters is being in that moment with Sir. I can stay in that state for quite some time with minimal input. Different things work for different people. I find restraint and impact play are almost guaranteed subspace triggers. Although certain words can start the spiral. It's the most addictive thing in my world. | |||
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"i woukd like to know more about sub space Anyone on here experienced in the scene tell me more on it please I can only speak for myself but subspace is when I completely submit to the experience and the world narrows down to pure sensation. It's like the most amazing high in the world and you just want to live there. I feel total peace and freedom and all that matters is being in that moment with Sir. I can stay in that state for quite some time with minimal input. Different things work for different people. I find restraint and impact play are almost guaranteed subspace triggers. Although certain words can start the spiral. It's the most addictive thing in my world." Fantastic account from experience too love this thank you for sharing that, so well put too from a personal perspective, very much appreciated | |||
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"i woukd like to know more about sub space Anyone on here experienced in the scene tell me more on it please Different things work for different people. I find restraint and impact play are almost guaranteed subspace triggers. Although certain words can start the spiral. It's the most addictive thing in my world." My ex Dom could get me there with just talking to me. Neither of us knew that though until one day when we were chatting then I just 'went' and was lala lol. He literally just took my mind in the middle of a conversation. I trusted him completely so never had any boundaries or need to stop that. Wonderful feeling. | |||
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"i woukd like to know more about sub space Anyone on here experienced in the scene tell me more on it please Different things work for different people. I find restraint and impact play are almost guaranteed subspace triggers. Although certain words can start the spiral. It's the most addictive thing in my world. My ex Dom could get me there with just talking to me. Neither of us knew that though until one day when we were chatting then I just 'went' and was lala lol. He literally just took my mind in the middle of a conversation. I trusted him completely so never had any boundaries or need to stop that. Wonderful feeling. " Ive started to experience similar things, great feeling isnt it | |||
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"I don't really understand why there's such a divide between the swinging side and the BDSM side. Surely swinging is similar to being poly and many of us enjoy being spanked or stroked. It feels as if it's ok to be kinky and have a fetish but swinging is unacceptable! A pub near my work has a monthly munch for Fet but I bet if I wanted to book it openly for swingers I'd be denied." Swinging isn't poly and the odd spank isn't bdsm! I attend Guildford kinks which is run through fet but I'm seem as being into bdsm not just a bit of slap and spank which to me is more like adventurous sex. Where is that line? I don't know but I think the disagreements about the answer to that is probably half the battle in some forum thread arguments. | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others.
very correct and its why i struggle in the swinging world where people are always discussing there last fuck who they turned down you name it and it reminds me of the school play ground as a teenager .
Again I think the key is understanding and accepting the differences each to their own as long as they are happy "got on a munch and say that and watch the subs round on you . at its deepest level a sub and her dominate share very intimate sexual secrets and life secrets . i have never met a sub or a dominant who would be happy with someone discussing those secrets with anyone but them . trust is earned secrets shared are earned the minute you repeat those secrets to a third party you brake the bond of trust you earned . | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others.
very correct and its why i struggle in the swinging world where people are always discussing there last fuck who they turned down you name it and it reminds me of the school play ground as a teenager .
Again I think the key is understanding and accepting the differences each to their own as long as they are happy
got on a munch and say that and watch the subs round on you . at its deepest level a sub and her dominate share very intimate sexual secrets and life secrets .
i have never met a sub or a dominant who would be happy with someone discussing those secrets with anyone but them .
trust is earned secrets shared are earned the minute you repeat those secrets to a third party you brake the bond of trust you earned .
"I do agree that the d/s relationship is built on trust and definitely there's an intimate understanding of each other that I've never found elsewhere. I was surprised to be so emotionally hurt when the relationship ended. I was never 'in love' with him but the connection was deep. On a different note I do know several swingers who enjoy BDSM. | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others.
very correct and its why i struggle in the swinging world where people are always discussing there last fuck who they turned down you name it and it reminds me of the school play ground as a teenager .
Again I think the key is understanding and accepting the differences each to their own as long as they are happy
got on a munch and say that and watch the subs round on you . at its deepest level a sub and her dominate share very intimate sexual secrets and life secrets .
i have never met a sub or a dominant who would be happy with someone discussing those secrets with anyone but them .
trust is earned secrets shared are earned the minute you repeat those secrets to a third party you brake the bond of trust you earned .
"This is why I find it odd for some to be so open about their d/s relationship. I don't know a huge amount but having read stuff and chatted to people, I understood it as a very personal development, that is for the d/s alone. | |||
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"i woukd like to know more about sub space Anyone on here experienced in the scene tell me more on it please Different things work for different people. I find restraint and impact play are almost guaranteed subspace triggers. Although certain words can start the spiral. It's the most addictive thing in my world. My ex Dom could get me there with just talking to me. Neither of us knew that though until one day when we were chatting then I just 'went' and was lala lol. He literally just took my mind in the middle of a conversation. I trusted him completely so never had any boundaries or need to stop that. Wonderful feeling. " Another brilliant first hand experience shared thank you! It's amazing the varying yet wonderful experiences being shared here information rich for us all to grow from | |||
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"i woukd like to know more about sub space Anyone on here experienced in the scene tell me more on it please Different things work for different people. I find restraint and impact play are almost guaranteed subspace triggers. Although certain words can start the spiral. It's the most addictive thing in my world. My ex Dom could get me there with just talking to me. Neither of us knew that though until one day when we were chatting then I just 'went' and was lala lol. He literally just took my mind in the middle of a conversation. I trusted him completely so never had any boundaries or need to stop that. Wonderful feeling. Ive started to experience similar things, great feeling isnt it " | |||
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"I don't really understand why there's such a divide between the swinging side and the BDSM side. Surely swinging is similar to being poly and many of us enjoy being spanked or stroked. It feels as if it's ok to be kinky and have a fetish but swinging is unacceptable! A pub near my work has a monthly munch for Fet but I bet if I wanted to book it openly for swingers I'd be denied." I'm curious myself it doesn't always appear an issue but seems to exist a divide with some | |||
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"I don't really understand why there's such a divide between the swinging side and the BDSM side. Surely swinging is similar to being poly and many of us enjoy being spanked or stroked. It feels as if it's ok to be kinky and have a fetish but swinging is unacceptable! A pub near my work has a monthly munch for Fet but I bet if I wanted to book it openly for swingers I'd be denied. Swinging isn't poly and the odd spank isn't bdsm! I attend Guildford kinks which is run through fet but I'm seem as being into bdsm not just a bit of slap and spank which to me is more like adventurous sex. Where is that line? I don't know but I think the disagreements about the answer to that is probably half the battle in some forum thread arguments. " Thank you for sharing your knowledge the voice of experience is always welcome | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others.
very correct and its why i struggle in the swinging world where people are always discussing there last fuck who they turned down you name it and it reminds me of the school play ground as a teenager .
Again I think the key is understanding and accepting the differences each to their own as long as they are happy
got on a munch and say that and watch the subs round on you . at its deepest level a sub and her dominate share very intimate sexual secrets and life secrets .
i have never met a sub or a dominant who would be happy with someone discussing those secrets with anyone but them .
trust is earned secrets shared are earned the minute you repeat those secrets to a third party you brake the bond of trust you earned .
"Indeed absolutely there are always things shared in confidence that should be divulged, break trust the bond can easily unravel is how I understand it | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others.
very correct and its why i struggle in the swinging world where people are always discussing there last fuck who they turned down you name it and it reminds me of the school play ground as a teenager .
Again I think the key is understanding and accepting the differences each to their own as long as they are happy
got on a munch and say that and watch the subs round on you . at its deepest level a sub and her dominate share very intimate sexual secrets and life secrets .
i have never met a sub or a dominant who would be happy with someone discussing those secrets with anyone but them .
trust is earned secrets shared are earned the minute you repeat those secrets to a third party you brake the bond of trust you earned .
I do agree that the d/s relationship is built on trust and definitely there's an intimate understanding of each other that I've never found elsewhere. I was surprised to be so emotionally hurt when the relationship ended. I was never 'in love' with him but the connection was deep.
On a different note I do know several swingers who enjoy BDSM."Aww that's sad did it take long to recover but from what I have this heard can be common when D/s part ways, thank you for sharing though it's appreciated | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others.
very correct and its why i struggle in the swinging world where people are always discussing there last fuck who they turned down you name it and it reminds me of the school play ground as a teenager .
Again I think the key is understanding and accepting the differences each to their own as long as they are happy
got on a munch and say that and watch the subs round on you . at its deepest level a sub and her dominate share very intimate sexual secrets and life secrets .
i have never met a sub or a dominant who would be happy with someone discussing those secrets with anyone but them .
trust is earned secrets shared are earned the minute you repeat those secrets to a third party you brake the bond of trust you earned .
This is why I find it odd for some to be so open about their d/s relationship. I don't know a huge amount but having read stuff and chatted to people, I understood it as a very personal development, that is for the d/s alone. "I don't mind saying I have a d/a relationship but the finer details are for me and my master. It's true that the relationship is much more intense emotionally than a vanilla one for reasons I can't explain. I do know I trust him with my life yet I couldn't say that about my ex husband despite 22 years together. | |||
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"I suspect if you don't know the whole dynamic, holistically, perhaps only 50% of a D/s interface would be seen in a club. Also I wonder if there is projection from historic dominance of men and women around the play, I don't know. I do know there is a dynamic of hypnotic sensual/sexual release othrough lack of sensuality control that is bastardised by porn sometimes. Thank you for your knowledge it's easy to understand how people misunderstand it and yes stereotypes and porn have not helped much either I've an interest in exploring bdsm but I've not found the right person yet, from what I understand/know of it, there a lots of great pretenders on here who come across as more keen to show off rather than understanding the finer knowledge of the d/s relationship. Some very lovely people on here have given me hints and tips about how to broaden my horizons and how to find the right person. Great it's a rich and diverse interest with many facets to explore if so desire, finding the right person is so very important from both the Dom and sub perspective both need to be compatible, I'm sure there are those who are as you say pretenders and also those who just have a bit of flirty fun with it on forum I can imagine too, ultimately only the D/s truly understand their dynamics and being a close symbiosis would imagine some are more worried about the true side and details of their journey being private mainly and keeping forum usage largely as fun, only my opinion though
People can post what they like on forums, it has no consequence to my life, and mostly it entertains me, because for me personally if I had a good d/s
relationship going, I'd keep it all private. I'd want any dom to respect me enough to keep it between us, and I believe that it's all about respect. A good d/s thing wouldn't need clarification from others or making it into a look at me type thing. But that's just the way i understand it from conversations with others.
very correct and its why i struggle in the swinging world where people are always discussing there last fuck who they turned down you name it and it reminds me of the school play ground as a teenager .
Again I think the key is understanding and accepting the differences each to their own as long as they are happy
got on a munch and say that and watch the subs round on you . at its deepest level a sub and her dominate share very intimate sexual secrets and life secrets .
i have never met a sub or a dominant who would be happy with someone discussing those secrets with anyone but them .
trust is earned secrets shared are earned the minute you repeat those secrets to a third party you brake the bond of trust you earned .
This is why I find it odd for some to be so open about their d/s relationship. I don't know a huge amount but having read stuff and chatted to people, I understood it as a very personal development, that is for the d/s alone.
I don't mind saying I have a d/a relationship but the finer details are for me and my master. It's true that the relationship is much more intense emotionally than a vanilla one for reasons I can't explain. I do know I trust him with my life yet I couldn't say that about my ex husband despite 22 years together. "It can be interesting seeing the the accounts being shared how varied yet deep the connections are, thank you for sharing | |||
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"we love to mix the two....not had much problems in clubs, we just explain what we are into and tell people - if you don't like it don't look "Sounds like you've had a positive experience then | |||
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"Has anyone got any recommendations for a club that has good bdsm events for beginners "Places that hold workshops or demonstrations regularly would be great too | |||
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"Has anyone got any recommendations for a club that has good bdsm events for beginners
Places that hold workshops or demonstrations regularly would be great too "Xtasia, HDZ, anatomie (not a club though) | |||
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"Has anyone got any recommendations for a club that has good bdsm events for beginners
Places that hold workshops or demonstrations regularly would be great too
Xtasia, HDZ, anatomie (not a club though) "Thank you | |||
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"Has anyone got any recommendations for a club that has good bdsm events for beginners
Places that hold workshops or demonstrations regularly would be great too
Xtasia, HDZ, anatomie (not a club though) "Brilliant will look up the first and last ones thank you, you are a regular or resident at HDZ is that correct? Iv enjoyed your contributions on this topic and can see you've had quite the experience, I would really like to gain some more knowledge and experience | |||
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