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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I doubt that many men walk up to a woman in a pub/hotel bar (or anywhere else) and say, "Fancy a fuck", and if they do I bet there are very, very few women who say "Yes".
However, opening a conversation in a pub/hotel bar (or anywhere else) with "Hi, how are you, I'm John, Bill" etc works just fine to start a conversation, it always has for me. Face-to-face we can both, straight away, see if there is any interest or attraction and the conversation can quickly develop with, for example, a compliment on looks or clothing, asking if they are alone, would they like a drink etc. If it goes nowhere you can quickly tell and modify the conversation or move on.
However it seems beginning a message here with either, “Fancy a fuck”, or, "Hi, how are you", are both frowned upon and openly we are told not to do so in many profiles. Women tell us they have many messages to get through in a day and need something to catch their attention. As the sender of the message we don't necessarily know how many they have received, we can't see in their eyes or face if there is any interest or attraction from our opening gambit, we often can’t see looks or clothing to steer the conversation, as pictures if there are any, often may not show how they would normally look on an evening out. I bet not many women here would go to a pub/hotel bar with their breasts out, a penis in their mouth or their lower regions filled with a toy and on show, for example. Much as the men wouldn’t arrive in the same condition.
Women want something original and I can understand that. They say they have many offers and as messagers we have to stand out from the crowd. Looking for a new angle does become difficult after a while but actually reading their profile can sometimes give us some clue to work with. But if so many messages are being received then the chance of a repeat on a clue picked from the profile must be high, particularly if the profile is short or is full of “Do nots”, (we’ve all seen these). This means the chance of repeat interesting headlines must also be high as well. So I can see how, “Hi, how are you?” or, “Fancy a fuck”, become options to be explored.
In addition, in the pub/hotel scenario the feedback is immediate and an answer does not take maybe a day or more to be returned as it may with a message, and certainly almost never gets a no reply. After all in the pub/hotel scenario few would just turn and walk away, they often, in my experience say, thanks, but no thanks, or steer the conversation in such a way that gives me an idea that I am wasting my time.
I know on here it is all to easy to fire off a few dozen cut-and-paste messages and women can, in fact we all can, recognise these. I’ve never done this but I can see how it can happen for some people suffering repeated no replies. However I am inclined to think that many, many messages with “Fancy a fuck” or “Hi, how are you” are deleted without being read and without what may be the perfect coupling getting arranged or happening.
Perhaps a slightly automated answering system is required where an option to reply easily to emails can be designed. Against each email in your inbox could be three buttons, which action the email:-
Button 1, allows a reply to the email as you do now,
Button 2, prefills a reply, “Thanks, but no thanks”, sends it, and deletes the email,
Button 3, prefills a reply, “Thanks, but no thanks”, blocks the sender from a repeat enquiry and deletes the email.
Not too onerous to select one of the three options and everyone gets a reply, surely everyone is happy?
Now I’ll sit back and wait for the keyboard warriors to say that a choice of three is too difficult or time confusing. Just trying to keep explain what I think is going on and keep everyone happy. |
S
