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ladies is this a normal occurence .
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
mow I have a semi regular fwb we are great friends as well as naughty play partners .
she has just had a massive bust up with another fwb of hers the only other one apart from me because he had started to take her for granted .
meets in the beginning used to be late afternoon all evening affairs drink fun dinner fun sort of thing in that order you know twice in a meet affairs .
he was super attentive during the play very considerate of her pleasure '
basically he made her feel great about herself by his actions .
that carried on for a couple of years but around November last year all that suddenly charged it become a quickie over lunch where he was more or less satisfying himself . he said the lunch dates where due to work commitments and him not having the time for more so she let it go .
yesterday she refused to meet him because he said it could only be a lunch affair. he immediately went into one which ended with him finishing with her and verbally abusing her in the process .
she's very upset so ladies what in your mind made him suddenly change character after years of being a very nice play partner .
oh and for the crusaders out there I have her ok to ask this because I for the life of me cant think why he suddenly changed as he did after all she has been seeing him for just under three years and his behaviour only changed a few months ago .
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"mow I have a semi regular fwb we are great friends as well as naughty play partners .
she has just had a massive bust up with another fwb of hers the only other one apart from me because he had started to take her for granted .
meets in the beginning used to be late afternoon all evening affairs drink fun dinner fun sort of thing in that order you know twice in a meet affairs .
he was super attentive during the play very considerate of her pleasure '
basically he made her feel great about herself by his actions .
that carried on for a couple of years but around November last year all that suddenly charged it become a quickie over lunch where he was more or less satisfying himself . he said the lunch dates where due to work commitments and him not having the time for more so she let it go .
yesterday she refused to meet him because he said it could only be a lunch affair. he immediately went into one which ended with him finishing with her and verbally abusing her in the process .
she's very upset so ladies what in your mind made him suddenly change character after years of being a very nice play partner .
oh and for the crusaders out there I have her ok to ask this because I for the life of me cant think why he suddenly changed as he did after all she has been seeing him for just under three years and his behaviour only changed a few months ago .
"
You could guess why a million times but you'll never get an answer unless he decides to be honest and tell her.
It's done. Move on. |
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The only fwb I've had for any longer than a few months is now my best mate after we both decided to ditch the benefits and concentrate on the frindship so it definitely isn't typical.
If that's how he is treating her then she is better off without him. No matter what stage the friendship/relationship is at both parties should be treated with respect.
It does sound like he may have another relationship on the go and that's why he can't or won't do things like he used to. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"I'd guess he's in a relationship for the past few months. "
I was just about to say, he's possibly trying a relationship but just in case that doesn't work out....but as others have said you'll never really know, sometimes even if you ask you might not get the truth.
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like it run it's course ages ago when she was no longer getting what she wanted from her meets with him. I can't for the life of me understand why people put up with that from people who are FWB. For me that would have signified time to move on. As to why he suddenly changed. He may have been moving away gradually. As to why. Who knows but him. |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"mow I have a semi regular fwb we are great friends as well as naughty play partners .
she has just had a massive bust up with another fwb of hers the only other one apart from me because he had started to take her for granted .
meets in the beginning used to be late afternoon all evening affairs drink fun dinner fun sort of thing in that order you know twice in a meet affairs .
he was super attentive during the play very considerate of her pleasure '
basically he made her feel great about herself by his actions .
that carried on for a couple of years but around November last year all that suddenly charged it become a quickie over lunch where he was more or less satisfying himself . he said the lunch dates where due to work commitments and him not having the time for more so she let it go .
yesterday she refused to meet him because he said it could only be a lunch affair. he immediately went into one which ended with him finishing with her and verbally abusing her in the process .
she's very upset so ladies what in your mind made him suddenly change character after years of being a very nice play partner .
oh and for the crusaders out there I have her ok to ask this because I for the life of me cant think why he suddenly changed as he did after all she has been seeing him for just under three years and his behaviour only changed a few months ago .
You could guess why a million times but you'll never get an answer unless he decides to be honest and tell her.
It's done. Move on."
not so easy after three years come on emotions develop over time . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"mow I have a semi regular fwb we are great friends as well as naughty play partners .
she has just had a massive bust up with another fwb of hers the only other one apart from me because he had started to take her for granted .
meets in the beginning used to be late afternoon all evening affairs drink fun dinner fun sort of thing in that order you know twice in a meet affairs .
he was super attentive during the play very considerate of her pleasure '
basically he made her feel great about herself by his actions .
that carried on for a couple of years but around November last year all that suddenly charged it become a quickie over lunch where he was more or less satisfying himself . he said the lunch dates where due to work commitments and him not having the time for more so she let it go .
yesterday she refused to meet him because he said it could only be a lunch affair. he immediately went into one which ended with him finishing with her and verbally abusing her in the process .
she's very upset so ladies what in your mind made him suddenly change character after years of being a very nice play partner .
oh and for the crusaders out there I have her ok to ask this because I for the life of me cant think why he suddenly changed as he did after all she has been seeing him for just under three years and his behaviour only changed a few months ago .
You could guess why a million times but you'll never get an answer unless he decides to be honest and tell her.
It's done. Move on.
not so easy after three years come on emotions develop over time ."
That's the deal with fb, if you can't deal with it, don't get into these arrangements. |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Why doesn't she ask him? I can imagine she knows him better than any of us.  "
she told him on a couple of occasions the lunch dates where leaving her unsatisfied he said they were due to work shift changes . |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"The only fwb I've had for any longer than a few months is now my best mate after we both decided to ditch the benefits and concentrate on the frindship so it definitely isn't typical.
If that's how he is treating her then she is better off without him. No matter what stage the friendship/relationship is at both parties should be treated with respect.
It does sound like he may have another relationship on the go and that's why he can't or won't do things like he used to."
I cant go into details as to why its not him finding a girl friend or anything like that but i know that cant be the reason . |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"mow I have a semi regular fwb we are great friends as well as naughty play partners .
she has just had a massive bust up with another fwb of hers the only other one apart from me because he had started to take her for granted .
meets in the beginning used to be late afternoon all evening affairs drink fun dinner fun sort of thing in that order you know twice in a meet affairs .
he was super attentive during the play very considerate of her pleasure '
basically he made her feel great about herself by his actions .
that carried on for a couple of years but around November last year all that suddenly charged it become a quickie over lunch where he was more or less satisfying himself . he said the lunch dates where due to work commitments and him not having the time for more so she let it go .
yesterday she refused to meet him because he said it could only be a lunch affair. he immediately went into one which ended with him finishing with her and verbally abusing her in the process .
she's very upset so ladies what in your mind made him suddenly change character after years of being a very nice play partner .
oh and for the crusaders out there I have her ok to ask this because I for the life of me cant think why he suddenly changed as he did after all she has been seeing him for just under three years and his behaviour only changed a few months ago .
You could guess why a million times but you'll never get an answer unless he decides to be honest and tell her.
It's done. Move on.
not so easy after three years come on emotions develop over time .
That's the deal with fb, if you can't deal with it, don't get into these arrangements. "
I'm sure you don't mean to be so harsh but come on emotions are normal hurt is normal she is more than capable of dealing with the emotional cost . what's eating at her is the why the sudden change .she's the kind of girl that will always blame herself for the actions of another that's a big part of why she's finding it hard to process . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The only fwb I've had for any longer than a few months is now my best mate after we both decided to ditch the benefits and concentrate on the frindship so it definitely isn't typical.
If that's how he is treating her then she is better off without him. No matter what stage the friendship/relationship is at both parties should be treated with respect.
It does sound like he may have another relationship on the go and that's why he can't or won't do things like he used to.
I cant go into details as to why its not him finding a girl friend or anything like that but i know that cant be the reason ."
Then it seems you're better placed than us to guess at his reasons, besides, does it even matter? He's treating her like a piece of meat, she needs to realise she's worth more.
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"I'd guess he's in a relationship for the past few months.
I was just about to say, he's possibly trying a relationship but just in case that doesn't work out....but as others have said you'll never really know, sometimes even if you ask you might not get the truth.
S"
i have a theory but i don't want to say it to her unless someone else comes up with the same theory as me independently in here . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems kinda obvious to me, if his time is now restricted to lunchtime cumdumps."
That's exactly what I thought. He's hedging his bets, but if the sex is still being offered then he will take it. If it's not meeting your friends needs then she needs to ask what she's getting out of it and get rid. |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"The only fwb I've had for any longer than a few months is now my best mate after we both decided to ditch the benefits and concentrate on the frindship so it definitely isn't typical.
If that's how he is treating her then she is better off without him. No matter what stage the friendship/relationship is at both parties should be treated with respect.
It does sound like he may have another relationship on the go and that's why he can't or won't do things like he used to.
I cant go into details as to why its not him finding a girl friend or anything like that but i know that cant be the reason .
Then it seems you're better placed than us to guess at his reasons, besides, does it even matter? He's treating her like a piece of meat, she needs to realise she's worth more.
"
told her that but she's a blamer you know will always think its her to blame not another . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems kinda obvious to me, if his time is now restricted to lunchtime cumdumps.
That's exactly what I thought. He's hedging his bets, but if the sex is still being offered then he will take it. If it's not meeting your friends needs then she needs to ask what she's getting out of it and get rid."
 exactly, tbh the OP's comment about the guy making her "feel good about herself" makes me wonder if it's more about poor self-esteem than actual "feelings" for the fb. Casual sexual arrangments are a pretty shaky foundation for self worth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He's become complacent maybe.
He's getting bored and wants less time with her.
He has another fwb he prefers to spend longer with.
She could tell him she doesn't want to see him any more, and not give him another thought. |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Seems kinda obvious to me, if his time is now restricted to lunchtime cumdumps.
That's exactly what I thought. He's hedging his bets, but if the sex is still being offered then he will take it. If it's not meeting your friends needs then she needs to ask what she's getting out of it and get rid.
exactly, tbh the OP's comment about the guy making her "feel good about herself" makes me wonder if it's more about poor self-esteem than actual "feelings" for the fb. Casual sexual arrangments are a pretty shaky foundation for self worth."
come on ladies you know full well not every guy you meet leaves you feeling good about the meet and as a bi product about yourself because of the meet . especially if your a giver personality type . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems kinda obvious to me, if his time is now restricted to lunchtime cumdumps.
That's exactly what I thought. He's hedging his bets, but if the sex is still being offered then he will take it. If it's not meeting your friends needs then she needs to ask what she's getting out of it and get rid.
exactly, tbh the OP's comment about the guy making her "feel good about herself" makes me wonder if it's more about poor self-esteem than actual "feelings" for the fb. Casual sexual arrangments are a pretty shaky foundation for self worth.
come on ladies you know full well not every guy you meet leaves you feeling good about the meet and as a bi product about yourself because of the meet . especially if your a giver personality type ."
Nope, but I guess I'm not the giver type, or maybe it's that I understand that other people's lives and decisions don't revolve around me. |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"He's become complacent maybe.
He's getting bored and wants less time with her.
He has another fwb he prefers to spend longer with.
She could tell him she doesn't want to see him any more, and not give him another thought. "
read my post she refused to meet him for a lunch time quickie he then finished with her verbally abusing her as he did so . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"He's become complacent maybe.
He's getting bored and wants less time with her.
He has another fwb he prefers to spend longer with.
She could tell him she doesn't want to see him any more, and not give him another thought.
read my post she refused to meet him for a lunch time quickie he then finished with her verbally abusing her as he did so . "
Maybe he lacked the spine to bring up finishing and he needed to make her the "bad guy". |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Seems kinda obvious to me, if his time is now restricted to lunchtime cumdumps.
That's exactly what I thought. He's hedging his bets, but if the sex is still being offered then he will take it. If it's not meeting your friends needs then she needs to ask what she's getting out of it and get rid.
exactly, tbh the OP's comment about the guy making her "feel good about herself" makes me wonder if it's more about poor self-esteem than actual "feelings" for the fb. Casual sexual arrangments are a pretty shaky foundation for self worth.
come on ladies you know full well not every guy you meet leaves you feeling good about the meet and as a bi product about yourself because of the meet . especially if your a giver personality type .
Nope, but I guess I'm not the giver type, or maybe it's that I understand that other people's lives and decisions don't revolve around me."
no you have a partner to help you deal with any fall out emotionally from bad meets. try to remember single ladies don't have that support whether they need it or not that you are privy to . |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"He's become complacent maybe.
He's getting bored and wants less time with her.
He has another fwb he prefers to spend longer with.
She could tell him she doesn't want to see him any more, and not give him another thought.
read my post she refused to meet him for a lunch time quickie he then finished with her verbally abusing her as he did so .
Maybe he lacked the spine to bring up finishing and he needed to make her the "bad guy"."
at last
this was my thought but I didn't say it as I was thinking did you come to that conclusion john because your to close so you have a vested interest which lead you to that conclusion . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seems kinda obvious to me, if his time is now restricted to lunchtime cumdumps.
That's exactly what I thought. He's hedging his bets, but if the sex is still being offered then he will take it. If it's not meeting your friends needs then she needs to ask what she's getting out of it and get rid.
exactly, tbh the OP's comment about the guy making her "feel good about herself" makes me wonder if it's more about poor self-esteem than actual "feelings" for the fb. Casual sexual arrangments are a pretty shaky foundation for self worth.
come on ladies you know full well not every guy you meet leaves you feeling good about the meet and as a bi product about yourself because of the meet . especially if your a giver personality type .
Nope, but I guess I'm not the giver type, or maybe it's that I understand that other people's lives and decisions don't revolve around me.
no you have a partner to help you deal with any fall out emotionally from bad meets. try to remember single ladies don't have that support whether they need it or not that you are privy to ."
I met as a single before we got together. Never had a bad meet. But then I would never enter into a fb arrangement, to me it's logical to expect that someone would get hurt, even if it's only their ego getting bruised. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"He's become complacent maybe.
He's getting bored and wants less time with her.
He has another fwb he prefers to spend longer with.
She could tell him she doesn't want to see him any more, and not give him another thought.
read my post she refused to meet him for a lunch time quickie he then finished with her verbally abusing her as he did so .
Maybe he lacked the spine to bring up finishing and he needed to make her the "bad guy".
at last
this was my thought but I didn't say it as I was thinking did you come to that conclusion john because your to close so you have a vested interest which lead you to that conclusion . "
Passive aggression is pretty common, another side-effect of low self-esteem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could he possibly be falling for her ? Hence why he's restricting the time and attention he's actually giving her ? "
I doubt that, men tend to go the opposite way if they're keen, difficult to shake them off lol |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"He's become complacent maybe.
He's getting bored and wants less time with her.
He has another fwb he prefers to spend longer with.
She could tell him she doesn't want to see him any more, and not give him another thought.
read my post she refused to meet him for a lunch time quickie he then finished with her verbally abusing her as he did so .
Maybe he lacked the spine to bring up finishing and he needed to make her the "bad guy".
at last
this was my thought but I didn't say it as I was thinking did you come to that conclusion john because your to close so you have a vested interest which lead you to that conclusion .
Passive aggression is pretty common, another side-effect of low self-esteem."
is that aimed at me or him ...?
because if its me you obviously have been talking to my detractors who think I'm one arrogant twat who needs to be knocked down to size  or so I've heard through the grape line  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could he possibly be falling for her ? Hence why he's restricting the time and attention he's actually giving her ?
I doubt that, men tend to go the opposite way if they're keen, difficult to shake them off lol"
Not always. If he's a selfish arse (which he sounds like ) he won't have the decency to walk away as he's still addicted to the sex with her. Changing his view about how he uses her and her letting him do so could change his mindset too. |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Could he possibly be falling for her ? Hence why he's restricting the time and attention he's actually giving her ? "
that's does happen occasional which a certain sexual type normally by cutting down the meets not what happens on the meets . but he's not the sexual type for that from what i know about him . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could he possibly be falling for her ? Hence why he's restricting the time and attention he's actually giving her ?
that's does happen occasional which a certain sexual type normally by cutting down the meets not what happens on the meets . but he's not the sexual type for that from what i know about him ."
Sounds like she's best shot of him tbh. As hard as it is for her , some things naturally run there course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's become complacent maybe.
He's getting bored and wants less time with her.
He has another fwb he prefers to spend longer with.
She could tell him she doesn't want to see him any more, and not give him another thought.
read my post she refused to meet him for a lunch time quickie he then finished with her verbally abusing her as he did so .
Maybe he lacked the spine to bring up finishing and he needed to make her the "bad guy".
at last
this was my thought but I didn't say it as I was thinking did you come to that conclusion john because your to close so you have a vested interest which lead you to that conclusion .
Passive aggression is pretty common, another side-effect of low self-esteem.
is that aimed at me or him ...?
because if its me you obviously have been talking to my detractors who think I'm one arrogant twat who needs to be knocked down to size or so I've heard through the grape line "
Pmsl, it was a general observation. I have no opinion on you and I don't engage with the backstabbers on fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could he possibly be falling for her ? Hence why he's restricting the time and attention he's actually giving her ?
I doubt that, men tend to go the opposite way if they're keen, difficult to shake them off lol
Not always. If he's a selfish arse (which he sounds like ) he won't have the decency to walk away as he's still addicted to the sex with her. Changing his view about how he uses her and her letting him do so could change his mindset too. "
Then he's not "falling for her", you don't treat someone like shit if you care for them. |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"maybe she's a dickhead and has ground him down to being a shitty arsehole who was trying to shake her off, who knows? could be anything"
really fella take the woman hating elsewhere before you shit up this post with what in my opinion is piss poor opinion of women being displayed by your comment . |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"He's become complacent maybe.
He's getting bored and wants less time with her.
He has another fwb he prefers to spend longer with.
She could tell him she doesn't want to see him any more, and not give him another thought.
read my post she refused to meet him for a lunch time quickie he then finished with her verbally abusing her as he did so .
Maybe he lacked the spine to bring up finishing and he needed to make her the "bad guy".
at last
this was my thought but I didn't say it as I was thinking did you come to that conclusion john because your to close so you have a vested interest which lead you to that conclusion .
Passive aggression is pretty common, another side-effect of low self-esteem.
is that aimed at me or him ...?
because if its me you obviously have been talking to my detractors who think I'm one arrogant twat who needs to be knocked down to size or so I've heard through the grape line
Pmsl, it was a general observation. I have no opinion on you and I don't engage with the backstabbers on fab. "
glad to here that I don't engage in it ether I just speak my mind of a subject much like yourself then |
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"The only fwb I've had for any longer than a few months is now my best mate after we both decided to ditch the benefits and concentrate on the frindship so it definitely isn't typical.
If that's how he is treating her then she is better off without him. No matter what stage the friendship/relationship is at both parties should be treated with respect.
It does sound like he may have another relationship on the go and that's why he can't or won't do things like he used to.
I cant go into details as to why its not him finding a girl friend or anything like that but i know that cant be the reason ."
Maybe his wife got suspicious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like he's met someone else and was keeping her as a back up plan, the relationship is working out so rather then be honest is being a dick.
Or, she's turned full on and expecting more which has scared him off a bit.
Or, he is stressed at work and finding it hard to cope.
Or there could be a million reasons. We can't answer, we don't know him or her. We only have part of the story. |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"The only fwb I've had for any longer than a few months is now my best mate after we both decided to ditch the benefits and concentrate on the frindship so it definitely isn't typical.
If that's how he is treating her then she is better off without him. No matter what stage the friendship/relationship is at both parties should be treated with respect.
It does sound like he may have another relationship on the go and that's why he can't or won't do things like he used to.
I cant go into details as to why its not him finding a girl friend or anything like that but i know that cant be the reason .
Maybe his wife got suspicious "
i can assure you that is not the answer in this case . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He has either in a relationship, found someone else and uses her as a back up plan or its run its course and trying to let her down gently. Or it could be a thousand other reasons.
If your friend isn't happy with the situation she is in with him she need to sever all ties with him and move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"maybe she's a dickhead and has ground him down to being a shitty arsehole who was trying to shake her off, who knows? could be anything
really fella take the woman hating elsewhere before you shit up this post with what in my opinion is piss poor opinion of women being displayed by your comment ."
i don't hate women, it's just a real option. we have zero clue what happened. there are two sides to every story, you seem to think it could only be the mans fault. it may have been her fault mr wight night. yes, women can be dickheads too |
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"mow I have a semi regular fwb we are great friends as well as naughty play partners .
she has just had a massive bust up with another fwb of hers the only other one apart from me because he had started to take her for granted .
meets in the beginning used to be late afternoon all evening affairs drink fun dinner fun sort of thing in that order you know twice in a meet affairs .
he was super attentive during the play very considerate of her pleasure '
basically he made her feel great about herself by his actions .
that carried on for a couple of years but around November last year all that suddenly charged it become a quickie over lunch where he was more or less satisfying himself . he said the lunch dates where due to work commitments and him not having the time for more so she let it go .
yesterday she refused to meet him because he said it could only be a lunch affair. he immediately went into one which ended with him finishing with her and verbally abusing her in the process .
she's very upset so ladies what in your mind made him suddenly change character after years of being a very nice play partner .
oh and for the crusaders out there I have her ok to ask this because I for the life of me cant think why he suddenly changed as he did after all she has been seeing him for just under three years and his behaviour only changed a few months ago .
You could guess why a million times but you'll never get an answer unless he decides to be honest and tell her.
It's done. Move on."
Spoken like bonafide psychopath lol  |
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"mow I have a semi regular fwb we are great friends as well as naughty play partners .
she has just had a massive bust up with another fwb of hers the only other one apart from me because he had started to take her for granted .
meets in the beginning used to be late afternoon all evening affairs drink fun dinner fun sort of thing in that order you know twice in a meet affairs .
he was super attentive during the play very considerate of her pleasure '
basically he made her feel great about herself by his actions .
that carried on for a couple of years but around November last year all that suddenly charged it become a quickie over lunch where he was more or less satisfying himself . he said the lunch dates where due to work commitments and him not having the time for more so she let it go .
yesterday she refused to meet him because he said it could only be a lunch affair. he immediately went into one which ended with him finishing with her and verbally abusing her in the process .
she's very upset so ladies what in your mind made him suddenly change character after years of being a very nice play partner .
oh and for the crusaders out there I have her ok to ask this because I for the life of me cant think why he suddenly changed as he did after all she has been seeing him for just under three years and his behaviour only changed a few months ago .
"
I was the crusader who asked you previously if you had the ok to post about a third party.
On this subject not one of us can say what's going on in the guys head (bet you don't have his permission ). If it was me I'd ask him. |
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"mow I have a semi regular fwb we are great friends as well as naughty play partners .
she has just had a massive bust up with another fwb of hers the only other one apart from me because he had started to take her for granted .
meets in the beginning used to be late afternoon all evening affairs drink fun dinner fun sort of thing in that order you know twice in a meet affairs .
he was super attentive during the play very considerate of her pleasure '
basically he made her feel great about herself by his actions .
that carried on for a couple of years but around November last year all that suddenly charged it become a quickie over lunch where he was more or less satisfying himself . he said the lunch dates where due to work commitments and him not having the time for more so she let it go .
yesterday she refused to meet him because he said it could only be a lunch affair. he immediately went into one which ended with him finishing with her and verbally abusing her in the process .
she's very upset so ladies what in your mind made him suddenly change character after years of being a very nice play partner .
oh and for the crusaders out there I have her ok to ask this because I for the life of me cant think why he suddenly changed as he did after all she has been seeing him for just under three years and his behaviour only changed a few months ago .
You could guess why a million times but you'll never get an answer unless he decides to be honest and tell her.
It's done. Move on.
Spoken like bonafide psychopath lol "
I'm many things, a psychopath isn't one of them though. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
cynic in me says now she has someone else for fwb she is fine with not being satisfied with him any more.
in fact, by bringing you into this argument with him it does allow her to see how you react to a lot of things, and being her only fwb is one of those things. it allows for a fair bit of manipulation, so says the cynic. |
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"mow I have a semi regular fwb we are great friends as well as naughty play partners .
she has just had a massive bust up with another fwb of hers the only other one apart from me because he had started to take her for granted .
meets in the beginning used to be late afternoon all evening affairs drink fun dinner fun sort of thing in that order you know twice in a meet affairs .
he was super attentive during the play very considerate of her pleasure '
basically he made her feel great about herself by his actions .
that carried on for a couple of years but around November last year all that suddenly charged it become a quickie over lunch where he was more or less satisfying himself . he said the lunch dates where due to work commitments and him not having the time for more so she let it go .
yesterday she refused to meet him because he said it could only be a lunch affair. he immediately went into one which ended with him finishing with her and verbally abusing her in the process .
she's very upset so ladies what in your mind made him suddenly change character after years of being a very nice play partner .
oh and for the crusaders out there I have her ok to ask this because I for the life of me cant think why he suddenly changed as he did after all she has been seeing him for just under three years and his behaviour only changed a few months ago .
You could guess why a million times but you'll never get an answer unless he decides to be honest and tell her.
It's done. Move on.
not so easy after three years come on emotions develop over time .
That's the deal with fb, if you can't deal with it, don't get into these arrangements. "
Exactly! 
Whole point of fwb is to avoid this shit and drama. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We don't have the 2 sides of the story!
They both lived the situation! So is hard to give an opinion!
I always deal with my own personal business. I don't drag people in to it! But we are all different !
We all have free will to accept or reject a situation! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep...it's supply...it's not really surprising in these kind of "relationships" is it. People get bored but don't wanna end it so they just dribble on giving less and less.
"Seems kinda obvious to me, if his time is now restricted to lunchtime cumdumps.
That's exactly what I thought. He's hedging his bets, but if the sex is still being offered then he will take it. If it's not meeting your friends needs then she needs to ask what she's getting out of it and get rid."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well we only know one side of the story.
Assuming all the facts are as stated. I wonder if he has someone else. Wouldn't surprise me if he reappears when he's horny one lunchtime . Personally I'd block his number to stop all future contact. |
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Maybe he was playing the good/nice guy,
Had enough of it and went back to being a arsehole he always was, I know loads of Men who can be obnoxious/aggressive pricks when they are not in the company of Women they like to impress, Then go all sweet and lovey when they are with them |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"mow I have a semi regular fwb we are great friends as well as naughty play partners .
she has just had a massive bust up with another fwb of hers the only other one apart from me because he had started to take her for granted .
meets in the beginning used to be late afternoon all evening affairs drink fun dinner fun sort of thing in that order you know twice in a meet affairs .
he was super attentive during the play very considerate of her pleasure '
basically he made her feel great about herself by his actions .
that carried on for a couple of years but around November last year all that suddenly charged it become a quickie over lunch where he was more or less satisfying himself . he said the lunch dates where due to work commitments and him not having the time for more so she let it go .
yesterday she refused to meet him because he said it could only be a lunch affair. he immediately went into one which ended with him finishing with her and verbally abusing her in the process .
she's very upset so ladies what in your mind made him suddenly change character after years of being a very nice play partner .
oh and for the crusaders out there I have her ok to ask this because I for the life of me cant think why he suddenly changed as he did after all she has been seeing him for just under three years and his behaviour only changed a few months ago .
You could guess why a million times but you'll never get an answer unless he decides to be honest and tell her.
It's done. Move on.
Spoken like bonafide psychopath lol
I'm many things, a psychopath isn't one of them though."
isn't that what every psychopath throughout history has claimed |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"cynic in me says now she has someone else for fwb she is fine with not being satisfied with him any more.
in fact, by bringing you into this argument with him it does allow her to see how you react to a lot of things, and being her only fwb is one of those things. it allows for a fair bit of manipulation, so says the cynic."
that would be true maybe off another guy who wasn't me if we ever meet on a social you will realise I'm not the type of guy who can be manipulated .
she will once the rawness of what's just happened passes .go looking for a new regular play partner she like me understands you need more than one such person in your sex life for when this sort of thing happens ,
as it means you can take as long as you like looking for the right chemistry because you already have great sex fairly often already . |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"cynic in me says now she has someone else for fwb she is fine with not being satisfied with him any more.
in fact, by bringing you into this argument with him it does allow her to see how you react to a lot of things, and being her only fwb is one of those things. it allows for a fair bit of manipulation, so says the cynic.
that would be true maybe off another guy who wasn't me if we ever meet on a social you will realise I'm not the type of guy who can be manipulated .
she will once the rawness of what's just happened passes .go looking for a new regular play partner she like me understands you need more than one such person in your sex life for when this sort of thing happens ,
as it means you can take as long as you like looking for the right chemistry because you already have great sex fairly often already ."
anyone can be manipulated. getting someone to side with you over someone else is a good way to start something like that actually.
i don't know the woman, it's just a cynical generalisation from me so obviously i could be wrong. |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"cynic in me says now she has someone else for fwb she is fine with not being satisfied with him any more.
in fact, by bringing you into this argument with him it does allow her to see how you react to a lot of things, and being her only fwb is one of those things. it allows for a fair bit of manipulation, so says the cynic.
that would be true maybe off another guy who wasn't me if we ever meet on a social you will realise I'm not the type of guy who can be manipulated .
she will once the rawness of what's just happened passes .go looking for a new regular play partner she like me understands you need more than one such person in your sex life for when this sort of thing happens ,
as it means you can take as long as you like looking for the right chemistry because you already have great sex fairly often already .
anyone can be manipulated. getting someone to side with you over someone else is a good way to start something like that actually.
i don't know the woman, it's just a cynical generalisation from me so obviously i could be wrong."
I don't take sides if we ever meet you will understand that to be true about me and why trying to manipulate me would be like trying a move stone with your mind only . |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"cynic in me says now she has someone else for fwb she is fine with not being satisfied with him any more.
in fact, by bringing you into this argument with him it does allow her to see how you react to a lot of things, and being her only fwb is one of those things. it allows for a fair bit of manipulation, so says the cynic.
that would be true maybe off another guy who wasn't me if we ever meet on a social you will realise I'm not the type of guy who can be manipulated .
she will once the rawness of what's just happened passes .go looking for a new regular play partner she like me understands you need more than one such person in your sex life for when this sort of thing happens ,
as it means you can take as long as you like looking for the right chemistry because you already have great sex fairly often already .
anyone can be manipulated. getting someone to side with you over someone else is a good way to start something like that actually.
i don't know the woman, it's just a cynical generalisation from me so obviously i could be wrong.
I don't take sides if we ever meet you will understand that to be true about me and why trying to manipulate me would be like trying a move stone with your mind only ."
well, you've already formed an opinion on this guy she's told you about (by taking her word for it without meeting him, i'm presuming) and are trying to figure out why he's upset her. not sure your reasons for that but i'd say she's in your head already with this alone.
her problems are yours already now, she is definitely in your head. no offence coz that's how emapthy works, i do get that. so it could be just because you're mates and mates look out for each other.
but unless i'd known someone for years i'd never take their word over anyone elses, it's just gossip or hearsay until proven otherwise. |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"cynic in me says now she has someone else for fwb she is fine with not being satisfied with him any more.
in fact, by bringing you into this argument with him it does allow her to see how you react to a lot of things, and being her only fwb is one of those things. it allows for a fair bit of manipulation, so says the cynic.
that would be true maybe off another guy who wasn't me if we ever meet on a social you will realise I'm not the type of guy who can be manipulated .
she will once the rawness of what's just happened passes .go looking for a new regular play partner she like me understands you need more than one such person in your sex life for when this sort of thing happens ,
as it means you can take as long as you like looking for the right chemistry because you already have great sex fairly often already .
anyone can be manipulated. getting someone to side with you over someone else is a good way to start something like that actually.
i don't know the woman, it's just a cynical generalisation from me so obviously i could be wrong.
I don't take sides if we ever meet you will understand that to be true about me and why trying to manipulate me would be like trying a move stone with your mind only .
well, you've already formed an opinion on this guy she's told you about (by taking her word for it without meeting him, i'm presuming) and are trying to figure out why he's upset her. not sure your reasons for that but i'd say she's in your head already with this alone.
her problems are yours already now, she is definitely in your head. no offence coz that's how emapthy works, i do get that. so it could be just because you're mates and mates look out for each other.
but unless i'd known someone for years i'd never take their word over anyone elses, it's just gossip or hearsay until proven otherwise."
oh i think he did it because he wanted out but didn't want to be the bad guy so he did all he could to push her away bloody coward ,
I haven't said that to her as I don't want to effect her decision just in case I'm wrong ,because you know guys he could come crawling back with a genuine reason which she wouldn't believe or listen to if i voiced a strong opinion which wouldn't be fair on the guy .
I'm more annoyed he verbally abused her , by the way i believe my thoughts on why he did it to be true but like you say i cant prove it but if three or four people said the same in here i would say maybe its this ie my theory
ps known and fucked this lovely lady for other three years so yes i know her very well indeed |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"cynic in me says now she has someone else for fwb she is fine with not being satisfied with him any more.
in fact, by bringing you into this argument with him it does allow her to see how you react to a lot of things, and being her only fwb is one of those things. it allows for a fair bit of manipulation, so says the cynic.
that would be true maybe off another guy who wasn't me if we ever meet on a social you will realise I'm not the type of guy who can be manipulated .
she will once the rawness of what's just happened passes .go looking for a new regular play partner she like me understands you need more than one such person in your sex life for when this sort of thing happens ,
as it means you can take as long as you like looking for the right chemistry because you already have great sex fairly often already .
anyone can be manipulated. getting someone to side with you over someone else is a good way to start something like that actually.
i don't know the woman, it's just a cynical generalisation from me so obviously i could be wrong.
I don't take sides if we ever meet you will understand that to be true about me and why trying to manipulate me would be like trying a move stone with your mind only .
well, you've already formed an opinion on this guy she's told you about (by taking her word for it without meeting him, i'm presuming) and are trying to figure out why he's upset her. not sure your reasons for that but i'd say she's in your head already with this alone.
her problems are yours already now, she is definitely in your head. no offence coz that's how emapthy works, i do get that. so it could be just because you're mates and mates look out for each other.
but unless i'd known someone for years i'd never take their word over anyone elses, it's just gossip or hearsay until proven otherwise.
oh i think he did it because he wanted out but didn't want to be the bad guy so he did all he could to push her away bloody coward ,
I haven't said that to her as I don't want to effect her decision just in case I'm wrong ,because you know guys he could come crawling back with a genuine reason which she wouldn't believe or listen to if i voiced a strong opinion which wouldn't be fair on the guy .
I'm more annoyed he verbally abused her , by the way i believe my thoughts on why he did it to be true but like you say i cant prove it but if three or four people said the same in here i would say maybe its this ie my theory
ps known and fucked this lovely lady for other three years so yes i know her very well indeed "
well, it's nice you care for her. i do approve you've kept out of it as much as possible and with good intentions for that.
made me a little less cynical also. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"cynic in me says now she has someone else for fwb she is fine with not being satisfied with him any more.
in fact, by bringing you into this argument with him it does allow her to see how you react to a lot of things, and being her only fwb is one of those things. it allows for a fair bit of manipulation, so says the cynic.
that would be true maybe off another guy who wasn't me if we ever meet on a social you will realise I'm not the type of guy who can be manipulated .
she will once the rawness of what's just happened passes .go looking for a new regular play partner she like me understands you need more than one such person in your sex life for when this sort of thing happens ,
as it means you can take as long as you like looking for the right chemistry because you already have great sex fairly often already .
anyone can be manipulated. getting someone to side with you over someone else is a good way to start something like that actually.
i don't know the woman, it's just a cynical generalisation from me so obviously i could be wrong.
I don't take sides if we ever meet you will understand that to be true about me and why trying to manipulate me would be like trying a move stone with your mind only .
well, you've already formed an opinion on this guy she's told you about (by taking her word for it without meeting him, i'm presuming) and are trying to figure out why he's upset her. not sure your reasons for that but i'd say she's in your head already with this alone.
her problems are yours already now, she is definitely in your head. no offence coz that's how emapthy works, i do get that. so it could be just because you're mates and mates look out for each other.
but unless i'd known someone for years i'd never take their word over anyone elses, it's just gossip or hearsay until proven otherwise.
oh i think he did it because he wanted out but didn't want to be the bad guy so he did all he could to push her away bloody coward ,
I haven't said that to her as I don't want to effect her decision just in case I'm wrong ,because you know guys he could come crawling back with a genuine reason which she wouldn't believe or listen to if i voiced a strong opinion which wouldn't be fair on the guy .
I'm more annoyed he verbally abused her , by the way i believe my thoughts on why he did it to be true but like you say i cant prove it but if three or four people said the same in here i would say maybe its this ie my theory
ps known and fucked this lovely lady for other three years so yes i know her very well indeed "
You can't save people from their own choices. Keep out of it. As others have suggested, she could be playing you with the whole story. |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"cynic in me says now she has someone else for fwb she is fine with not being satisfied with him any more.
in fact, by bringing you into this argument with him it does allow her to see how you react to a lot of things, and being her only fwb is one of those things. it allows for a fair bit of manipulation, so says the cynic.
that would be true maybe off another guy who wasn't me if we ever meet on a social you will realise I'm not the type of guy who can be manipulated .
she will once the rawness of what's just happened passes .go looking for a new regular play partner she like me understands you need more than one such person in your sex life for when this sort of thing happens ,
as it means you can take as long as you like looking for the right chemistry because you already have great sex fairly often already .
anyone can be manipulated. getting someone to side with you over someone else is a good way to start something like that actually.
i don't know the woman, it's just a cynical generalisation from me so obviously i could be wrong.
I don't take sides if we ever meet you will understand that to be true about me and why trying to manipulate me would be like trying a move stone with your mind only .
well, you've already formed an opinion on this guy she's told you about (by taking her word for it without meeting him, i'm presuming) and are trying to figure out why he's upset her. not sure your reasons for that but i'd say she's in your head already with this alone.
her problems are yours already now, she is definitely in your head. no offence coz that's how emapthy works, i do get that. so it could be just because you're mates and mates look out for each other.
but unless i'd known someone for years i'd never take their word over anyone elses, it's just gossip or hearsay until proven otherwise.
oh i think he did it because he wanted out but didn't want to be the bad guy so he did all he could to push her away bloody coward ,
I haven't said that to her as I don't want to effect her decision just in case I'm wrong ,because you know guys he could come crawling back with a genuine reason which she wouldn't believe or listen to if i voiced a strong opinion which wouldn't be fair on the guy .
I'm more annoyed he verbally abused her , by the way i believe my thoughts on why he did it to be true but like you say i cant prove it but if three or four people said the same in here i would say maybe its this ie my theory
ps known and fucked this lovely lady for other three years so yes i know her very well indeed
You can't save people from their own choices. Keep out of it. As others have suggested, she could be playing you with the whole story."
way to cynical for my liking what is it with swingers and being cynics , Jesus in my opinion this world does seem to warp people in a negative way if you ask me . |
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"cynic in me says now she has someone else for fwb she is fine with not being satisfied with him any more.
in fact, by bringing you into this argument with him it does allow her to see how you react to a lot of things, and being her only fwb is one of those things. it allows for a fair bit of manipulation, so says the cynic.
that would be true maybe off another guy who wasn't me if we ever meet on a social you will realise I'm not the type of guy who can be manipulated .
she will once the rawness of what's just happened passes .go looking for a new regular play partner she like me understands you need more than one such person in your sex life for when this sort of thing happens ,
as it means you can take as long as you like looking for the right chemistry because you already have great sex fairly often already .
anyone can be manipulated. getting someone to side with you over someone else is a good way to start something like that actually.
i don't know the woman, it's just a cynical generalisation from me so obviously i could be wrong.
I don't take sides if we ever meet you will understand that to be true about me and why trying to manipulate me would be like trying a move stone with your mind only .
well, you've already formed an opinion on this guy she's told you about (by taking her word for it without meeting him, i'm presuming) and are trying to figure out why he's upset her. not sure your reasons for that but i'd say she's in your head already with this alone.
her problems are yours already now, she is definitely in your head. no offence coz that's how emapthy works, i do get that. so it could be just because you're mates and mates look out for each other.
but unless i'd known someone for years i'd never take their word over anyone elses, it's just gossip or hearsay until proven otherwise.
oh i think he did it because he wanted out but didn't want to be the bad guy so he did all he could to push her away bloody coward ,
I haven't said that to her as I don't want to effect her decision just in case I'm wrong ,because you know guys he could come crawling back with a genuine reason which she wouldn't believe or listen to if i voiced a strong opinion which wouldn't be fair on the guy .
I'm more annoyed he verbally abused her , by the way i believe my thoughts on why he did it to be true but like you say i cant prove it but if three or four people said the same in here i would say maybe its this ie my theory
ps known and fucked this lovely lady for other three years so yes i know her very well indeed
You can't save people from their own choices. Keep out of it. As others have suggested, she could be playing you with the whole story.
way to cynical for my liking what is it with swingers and being cynics , Jesus in my opinion this world does seem to warp people in a negative way if you ask me ."
You do know her better then anyone on here but everyone will have there own opinion, And its not just the swinging world, Love sex and emotions can warp anyone's mind |
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"people in general and getting to know them made me cynical. i do have cPTSD and am extra sensitive coz of it though so am aware i have problems also."
my cynical comments where not aimed at you . you word your questions in such away as to not come across as to cynical because you voice it as in is it a possibility .
but my out posts stands this world ruins and wraps if you allow it to in my opinion .
i know someone will say its the actions of others i have been subjected to that have warped me but that discounts one own inner strength to resist being changed by the negative .
by that i mean you don't have to be influenced by the negative if you consciously choose to not be in my opinion .
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"people in general and getting to know them made me cynical. i do have cPTSD and am extra sensitive coz of it though so am aware i have problems also.
my cynical comments where not aimed at you . you word your questions in such away as to not come across as to cynical because you voice it as in is it a possibility .
but my out posts stands this world ruins and wraps if you allow it to in my opinion .
i know someone will say its the actions of others i have been subjected to that have warped me but that discounts one own inner strength to resist being changed by the negative .
by that i mean you don't have to be influenced by the negative if you consciously choose to not be in my opinion .
"
i'm trying not to but do get proved to be right so many times it's hard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I experienced a similar situation with my fb, I ended it as it had obviously run its course.
Not all women are the same, we don't all screw around for self confidence. I have a high sex drive and my bloke isn't always around hence our open status.
If your friend is upset about the lack of time it could well be that she was reading more into their arrangement and this is for the best as it never ends well when the goalposts get moved |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Realising that people slant their version of events (consciously or unconsciously) to reflect well on themselves isn't cynicism, if anything, it's a form of empathy. And it's naive to believe oneself immune to manipulation, we all have our weaknesses. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
After reading the OP I would say he got cross because he wasn't getting his cake and eating it to. Guys don't like rejection.
It does sound to me like it was more than a fwb relationship and she should of walked away ages ago when it stopped being as fun as it used to be  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I experienced a similar situation with my fb, I ended it as it had obviously run its course.
Not all women are the same, we don't all screw around for self confidence. I have a high sex drive and my bloke isn't always around hence our open status.
If your friend is upset about the lack of time it could well be that she was reading more into their arrangement and this is for the best as it never ends well when the goalposts get moved "
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By *andsonjohn OP Man
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"people in general and getting to know them made me cynical. i do have cPTSD and am extra sensitive coz of it though so am aware i have problems also.
my cynical comments where not aimed at you . you word your questions in such away as to not come across as to cynical because you voice it as in is it a possibility .
but my out posts stands this world ruins and wraps if you allow it to in my opinion .
i know someone will say its the actions of others i have been subjected to that have warped me but that discounts one own inner strength to resist being changed by the negative .
by that i mean you don't have to be influenced by the negative if you consciously choose to not be in my opinion .
i'm trying not to but do get proved to be right so many times it's hard."
yes but that's not on you the actions of another ,all your ever responsible for are your own actions which will have a price to them ,the trick is in my opinion to weigh up the possible cost of your actions to you and choose to play or not,
if you think its worth the price you may or may not end up paying for your own actions then take action if you think its not then don't take action .
that way the possible actions of another are already factored into your choice if its a negative well that's on them not you because you already decided to go through with it because you thought yes I'm ok with that possible action the fun is worth that price to me .
In my opinion if you master this thought process your will not become a cynic because you already factored the negative result into your choice and by doing so its only the positive outcomes that stay with you not the negative .
yes you learn from the negative but they don't dominate your thinking turning you to cynic by doing so . |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"people in general and getting to know them made me cynical. i do have cPTSD and am extra sensitive coz of it though so am aware i have problems also.
my cynical comments where not aimed at you . you word your questions in such away as to not come across as to cynical because you voice it as in is it a possibility .
but my out posts stands this world ruins and wraps if you allow it to in my opinion .
i know someone will say its the actions of others i have been subjected to that have warped me but that discounts one own inner strength to resist being changed by the negative .
by that i mean you don't have to be influenced by the negative if you consciously choose to not be in my opinion .
i'm trying not to but do get proved to be right so many times it's hard.
yes but that's not on you the actions of another ,all your ever responsible for are your own actions which will have a price to them ,the trick is in my opinion to weigh up the possible cost of your actions to you and choose to play or not,
if you think its worth the price you may or may not end up paying for your own actions then take action if you think its not then don't take action .
that way the possible actions of another are already factored into your choice if its a negative well that's on them not you because you already decided to go through with it because you thought yes I'm ok with that possible action the fun is worth that price to me .
In my opinion if you master this thought process your will not become a cynic because you already factored the negative result into your choice and by doing so its only the positive outcomes that stay with you not the negative .
yes you learn from the negative but they don't dominate your thinking turning you to cynic by doing so . "
yes, that's very true. it's why it's recommended you get rid of toxic people from your life too, i usually choose not to play, safest option, but maybe i'll start doing.
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