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Dirty Valentine's Poem's

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Seen as it Valentine's Day next week anyone got any naughty poems???

I'll start the ball rolling

Roses are red

Roses are thorny

Pussy is wet

Because am so horny

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are red.

My name's Dave.

This poem makes no sense.

Microwave.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Roses are red.

My name's Dave.

This poem makes no sense.

Microwave."

*faps*

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By *ewly AvailableMan over a year ago

Earth

Roses are red

Violets are glorious

Don't try to surprise

Oscar Pistorius

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By *ewly AvailableMan over a year ago

Earth

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Most nights I masturbate

To pictures of you

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By *ewly AvailableMan over a year ago

Earth

Last one

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I have five fingers

but tonight you'll get two.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are thorny

Fancy a fuck?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Red roses for my lover

Delivered by the postie

So I can pull your fanny apart

Like a cheese toastie

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By *ardiner007Woman over a year ago

glasgow

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Drop ur pants

So a can fuck u

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By *eeds toy boyMan over a year ago

leeds

Roses are red

Tubs of lube

Scream my name

While im fucking you

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By *ardiner007Woman over a year ago

glasgow

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Show me ur clit

So a can suck it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Does this cloth smell

of chloroform to you?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Roses are red

Violets are glorious

Don't try to surprise

Oscar Pistorius

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Does this cloth smell

of chloroform to you?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are red.....voilets are blue .......bit like your pussy......after a gang bang or two

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You make my hart flutter .....when you whisper things like a whore from the gutter ......chewing my ear and pulling me near .....embracing me as you wind pulling me up in side .....pushing down so hard I feel the base of your spine ....oh what a way to spend valentines'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The look in your eyes is glowing fire red ....how can any man on this mortal coil not want to lead you to bed ...your body so soft and receptive to my touch .....the way you taste is enough to make me self combust ........ the way that you move and the way that you talk.......got me stuck by your side through this oh so perverted n filthy walk ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The way we met people would of never bet that we would be stood hand. In hand still working out our next filthy n naughty gang bang lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is leaving the room any one need a pointer feel free .......hes a poet n he's knows ......urban if you don't mind dear sir urban

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Porn hub is down

Your mums facebook will do

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By *s_macWoman over a year ago

Traffic land

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I'm using my hand

But thinking of you

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Shut up and get in the van

I'm going to fuck you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are red

And I'm very giving

Let me douche your butt

And give you a rimming

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Here's one I genuinely saw on a beautiful, floral card once ( craft market, rather than Clintons!)

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I'd love to fuck

The arse off you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Red roses for my lover

Delivered by the postie

So I can pull your fanny apart

Like a cheese toastie"

Superb, talents are wasted on these losers.

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By *dam_TinaCouple over a year ago

Hampshire

Roses are red

My breakfast was kippers

Wish I had a big cock

So I could meet FagandSlippers

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By *harpDressed ManMan over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Reg doesn't care

He likes her tits too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are straight

Violets are twisted

Bend over bitch

You're gonna get fisted.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are blue

Violets are red

I'm a little fucked up

But I'm good in bed

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By *harpDressed ManMan over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

[Removed by poster at 09/02/17 08:02:05]

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By *onnie and JohnCouple over a year ago

WILTSHIRE

Roses are red

lemons are sour

open your legs

and give me an hour.

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

One for the ladies to send

Valentine be mine

You make me wetter than an otters pocket

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By *ola.Woman over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

"One for the ladies to send

Valentine be mine

You make me wetter than an otters pocket"

Who says romance is dead

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are red

Snots are green

Fuck me hard and you will hear me scream (kat) xx

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By *dam_TinaCouple over a year ago

Hampshire

You have a pussy

I have a cock

Let's put them together

At seven o'clock

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By *rinkydonkyMan over a year ago

Hinckley

Roses are red....I am your man..... I'm gonna fuck you..... just coz I can !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's one for the money

Two for the show

Lick my pussy lots

to hear me go oh oh ohhhhhhhhhh

(kat) xx

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By *ust RachelTV/TS over a year ago

Horsham

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I have a knife,

So get in the van.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Does this cloth smell

of chloroform to you?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Roses are red

And I'm very giving

Let me douche your butt

And give you a rimming

Haha love it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Roses are straight

Violets are twisted

Bend over bitch

You're gonna get fisted.

Very good

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It's one for the money

Two for the show

Lick my pussy lots

to hear me go oh oh ohhhhhhhhhh

(kat) xx"

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By *ourHotSpotMan over a year ago

Horny Hornchurch

Roses are nice

Violets are fine.

I'll be the six

if you be the nine.

I'm looking to line up a meet in early October,

Why don't you come round and get all hot and sweaty on my fourposter.

Now that I revealed my last private pic,

Please let me know what you think of my dick?

Let's get your juices flowing till you can't take no more

You shout fuck me until I'm sore.

But I say no, i want to tease and please,

Let me gently lick your pussy as you squirm and you squeeze.

My cocks rock hard now as you shove me on the bed,

You grab my shaft and lower your head.

Your mouth sucks the end of my now swollen tip,

I moan and groan as i reach down to your clit.

You get me on all fours Arse ready for spanking

Tongue flicking away, cock in your hand wanking.

You spin me over, hands are now tied,

Getting your self ready for a ride.

My cocks standing to attention,

Awaiting with anticipation.

You lower your pussy lips,

And start grinding your hips.

But upon me you place a blindfold,

The senses I feel become ninefold.

A buzzing noise gets me quivering with delight

But I squeeze my butt cheeks almighty tight.

Right then I say unsecure me as I'm ready to explode

You carry on like this I will shoot my load

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are red

Vioets are blue

I've got a knife

Get in the van

Works everytime

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This lock of hair I give to you I cut it from my doodle do.

Now my doodle do is bare so please send back my lock of hair.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Violets are blue

Roses are red

Take off your clothes

and take me to bed x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are red

Fab's a bit blue

You look fuckable

So I will friend request you

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By *ustMe06Woman over a year ago

...the naughty spot.

Words that rhyme

Are mighty fine

So I'll chance my luck

Fancy a fuck?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When Roses are red

They're ready for plucking

Let's get undressed

And get down to some fucking

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I like cock in my mouth

And my ass too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are red

Honey is sweet

I've got some cuffs,

Fancy a meet?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Lay back on the bed

I want to ride you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are red

Pussy gets wet

When its stiff

stick it in

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Red roses for my lover

Delivered by the postie

So I can pull your fanny apart

Like a cheese toastie"

*brew spat out*

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By *onnie and JohnCouple over a year ago

WILTSHIRE

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?

A: Forget-me-nuts.

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By *reakbedsnotheartsMan over a year ago

bedford

"Roses are red

Honey is sweet

I've got some cuffs,

Fancy a meet?

wouldnt say no to a meet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A deep-throated virgin named Netty

Was sucking a cock on the jetty.

She said, "It tastes nice,

Much better than rice,

Though not quite as good as spaghetti."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

men are from mars

women from venus

you lick my pussy

and I'll suck your penis

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Roses are red.

My name's Dave.

This poem makes no sense.

Microwave."

Lol, winner!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are red

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are red. Sex is elementary. Let's call up a friend, And try double entry!

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By *ola.Woman over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

Roses are nice,

Violets are fine.

I'll be the six,

If you be the nine.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses and red

Your eyes are blue

I'll stare into them tonight

While I'm fucking you

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By *oward1978Man over a year ago

Rotherham

Roses are red

Arseholes are shitty

If I ask nicely

Can I suck on your titty?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses are red

Grains of sand are little

If you turn me down

I'll go Josef Fritzl.

Hahah can't think why I'm single!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

roses are red

jiz is off white

cum on my tits

I promise I wont bite

(kat) xx

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By *ig1gaz1Man over a year ago

bradford

Looks can be so deceiving

When searching for a lover

If you make an instant judgment

Just hope they can deliver

So ladies beware when choosing

The macho over the wimp

If you expect to get king prawn

You may end up getting shrimp

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By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

Roses are red

Daffodils are yellow

Who's into sploshing?

I've got some jello!

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By *hainmasterCouple over a year ago

Worcestershire

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Does this cloth smell

of chloroform to you?"
I did actually laugh out very loud at that for some reason.

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By *oward1978Man over a year ago

Rotherham

Roses are red

And ain't it uncanny

If you open one up

They look a bit like a fanny

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By *oward1978Man over a year ago

Rotherham

Roses are red

Pink, white or yeller

Now come wrap your lips

Round my wrinkled old fella

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

violets are blue

roses are red

get over here quick

and i'll give you head

(kat) xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses aren't always red,

Violets aren't blue, they're violet.

Hang on, maybe I'm colourblind,

Oh bollocks to it.....

Fancy a fuck?

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By *BWandhusbandCouple over a year ago

Midlands

Hubby wrote me a poem last year...

Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my dick.

He thinks he's funny.

Good job he got me a second card that I could put out, because that one had to be hidden from the kids.

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By *andVBCouple over a year ago

Wrexham

Sun streams through the window

Under covers we hide

Cuddling

Kissing

My lips linger on

Yours

Don't ever leave

I love you so much, more than you

Could ever

Know

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sun streams through the window

Under covers we hide

Cuddling

Kissing

My lips linger on

Yours

Don't ever leave

I love you so much, more than you

Could ever

Know

Genius. We need a 'we're not worthy' bowing down type emoji for that one.

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By *eachPreacherMan over a year ago

Kent/London

Roses are red

Violets are red

The trees are red

Shit, the garden is on fire

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